How to Know if Your Girlfriend is Jealous

 

I'm going to stay angry at you for as long as I want

Has your girlfriend seemed more anxious and controlling lately? Is she angrier and more agitated than usual when you spend time with other women? You might be wondering if your girlfriend has been acting this way because she’s jealous. Though jealousy has many causes and is normal in relationships, it can be tough, confusing, and stressful to deal with⁠—especially when she seems to distrust you no matter what you say. I’ve put together some common behaviors to help you figure out what’s going on⁠; if your girlfriend is engaging in some of these, it may be a sign that she really is jealous, and something about the relationship needs to be addressed.

Your girlfriends may question you in extreme detail about how you spend your time. If the requires constant disclosure and feels the need to monitor everything that you do, that could be a sign that they are jealous. Even if you reassure them otherwise or if their claims are irrational, they might continue to express suspicion about your infidelity, leaving you confused about how to gain back their trust.

• For example, they might ask you every day where you were at one in the afternoon, or what you were doing after you got off from work.
• Your girlfriend may just be showing concern and care for you⁠—but if you feel that her questioning is becoming excessive, it may be worth bringing up.

Our relationship will be just fine
 as long as you do what I say.

Your girlfriend may lay down rules about what you can or cannot do. It might seem like it’s not enough for her to just know how you’re spending your time⁠⁠—in addition to this, she may tell you that you’re not allowed to talk to certain people, like a female coworker, or go to certain places.

• It’s tough to feel that your girlfriend is gradually isolating you by laying down so many restrictions on your life⁠—and it’s possible that she’s doing it to try and keep you away from potential rivals.

Your girlfriend monitors any kind of personal correspondence you have. This could include going through your phone to look at your text messages and emails or logging into your social media accounts, even after you tell her that this isn’t okay with you. If she continues to intrude after you ask her not to, it may be a sign that she suspects that you are talking to potential rivals and feels the urge to check herself.^[3]

• For example, she may question you about Instagram posts that you’ve liked, asking who another woman is and why you liked her post.

Your girlfriend wants to know who you’ve dated before. If she seems to be interrogating you about details of previous relationships, like how long they lasted or why the relationship ended, it may be because she’s feeling "retrospective jealousy" about your past. Or, she may be using it as a way to reassure herself that she’s a good current girlfriend.

• Of course, just because she asks about your relationship history doesn’t always mean she’s jealous! She may just genuinely be curious and trying to get to know you better.

How long are you going to yell at me
 for talking to my female coworkers

Your girlfriend doesn’t like it when you talk to women other than herself. If you notice that she’s unhappy about this, it might be because she sees this as a betrayal of your relationship. Her reactions may seem passive-aggressive or ambiguous. She may be trying to send a "message" or "sign" that she’s hurt because she fears that you are no longer attracted to her.

• For example, you might be catching up with an old college friend at a gathering, but afterwards she tells you she is angry and asks you if you are bored of her.

Your girlfriend also doesn’t like it when you mention other women. Even if you’re just bringing up a friend or acquaintance, she may become sad or angry and ask you to stop talking about the other person⁠, leaving you wondering what you said wrong. If so, it may be due to her feeling threatened or thinking that you find the other woman more attractive than her.

• For example, if you mention that you had a great conversation with a coworker about a shared hobby during work, she might react badly and accuse you of flirting and not respecting your relationship.

Your girlfriend shows low self-esteem. If she constantly brings up things she feels insecure about, like how she’s not as pretty as another woman, it might be because she’s jealous and thinks she’s missing those attractive qualities.

• Making comparisons doesn’t always mean your girlfriend is jealous⁠ of someone else—she might just be feeling vulnerable or down about herself. Consider asking her if anything’s wrong, and if you can support or reassure her in any way.

Your girlfriend may also have unrealistic expectations for your relationship. She might point out relationships she sees on social media or in person, or express dissatisfaction about the current status or dynamic. If she doesn’t seem to appreciate the effort you’re putting into the relationship and talks frequently about how she would like to "fix" or "improve" the relationship so that it’s closer to what she wants, this might be a sign that she’s jealous of other couples.

• For example, she might tell you that she wishes you would hold her hand more in public when you walk past another couple at the mall that is holding hands.
• Rather than being jealous, it’s also possible that your girlfriend wants to improve your relationship. It may be worth talking together about how you both feel about your current dynamic and asking her what she might be satisfied or dissatisfied about.

Your girlfriend wants you to be in constant and instant communication with her. She seems to feel abandoned and rejected if you don’t get back to her quickly enough. If you reply to her in a reasonable amount of time but she still always thinks it’s too "late," this may be a sign that she thinks you are ignoring her and is jealous of the attention you're giving others.^[9]

• For example, you may be really busy at work and aren’t able to respond to her text for an hour⁠—but she doesn’t accept your apology and thinks you did it on purpose.
• Your girlfriend may also just want you to show her more affection or is feeling lonely, so consider talking with her to make sure you’re on the same page about how frequently the two of you want to communicate.

Your girlfriend can’t stand when you spend time with other people. It’s not just other women⁠—if she’s even paranoid when you do things with friends, she might be seeing your reduced availability as threatening and stressful, and a sign that you’re not prioritizing the relationship.^[10]

• For example, she might accuse you of taking away time from the relationship when you go out to play basketball or video games with friends, or when you meet up to go hiking for the day.

Your girlfriend insists on tagging along with you to everything.

Why can't I go with you?

 She doesn’t seem to respect your need for time alone even when you really need to recharge, or if you have different interests. This may be a sign that she wants to verify firsthand that you’re not seeing someone else.^[11]

• For example, you might tell her you’re going to make a trip to the store to pick up a couple of groceries. Even though you’re going alone and it won’t take long, she insists on coming with you.
• However, your girlfriend may really just want to spend more time with you, so consider checking in with her if you’re not sure whether she’s jealous.

Final thought

A fair amount of jealousy stems from insecurities about the state of the relationship. Your girlfriend’s envy of your other relationships (either with the opposite sex or sometimes with the same sex) forces her to constantly examine the bond between the two of you. It could also be a sign that she is the one being unfaithful. Jealousy can rip apart a relationship, slowly but surely obliterating everything good about everything and leaving you feeling pretty awful. This may sound harsh, but if it’s your reality, you probably are wondering what can I do about a jealous partner?

try to fix by do things like, asking your girlfriend about her fears. An open dialogue about the roots of jealousy can help you both overcome the problem. When your girlfriend is feeling jealousy, try to ask her directly about her fears. If your girlfriend is able to talk through her fears about the relationship, she will be better able to overcome them.

Why Men Prefer Emotionally Intelligent Women for Long-Term Relationships

 

I am mostly in love with how smart you are

Some men are very particular about the women THEY WANT. There is the kind of woman you date, and then there is the perfect someone to enjoy life with for the long haul. The difference between the two is the maturity of emotionally intelligent women.

Everybody wants to have fun and enjoy a fling or two, but when it comes to settling down and building a life with someone, you want it to be a person of substance. You want a woman who gets you on a different level and is mature enough to have children, a job, and keeps your relationship alive.

Why Do Men Prefer Emotionally Intelligent Women?

Have you ever heard that men are interested in some women because of their brains? Part of that is true that there needs to be some intellect to make conversations interesting. However, there are many reasons why intelligent women are so much more appealing than to most men these days.

For starters, they can maneuver the world of emotions and use their feelings to get positive results rather than negative results. Not only is this trait an asset in a relationship, but it’s also good to have in the workplace too.

These ladies know what it takes to live a balanced life and empower others to be a better version of themselves. Here are some other reasons why an emotionally intelligent woman attracts most smart men.

Emotionally Intelligent Women Make Peace with their Past

Sure, she has a past, and some parts of it are more complicated for her to handle. However, she ditched that emotional baggage long ago. She’s ready to have a new relationship because she’s not letting her past dictate her future.

They’re Willing to Say “No”

This woman is strong and determined, which makes her so attractive. Additionally, she knows that she can say “no” if her load gets too heavy. She loves herself enough to know when she’s taking on too much. Her compassionate nature extends to herself as well as others.

 They Keep Ethical Qualities in Both Business and Relationships

Emotionally intelligent women have mastered how to keep their moral compass in the corporate world and their personal life. They know how to control their conduct and treat each person with kindness regardless of their beliefs or views.

They’ve Mastered How to Read People

Reading people is an art form, and the intelligent gal can do it quickly. She knows to look for specific phrases they use, a particular look on their face, or body language.

You can never just focus on the speech pattern alone, as some folks can say the best things with a scowl on their face and hate in their heart. No matter, she won’t let the fakery get by her.

 They Remain Positive

It’s effortless for emotionally intelligent women to stay positive as they’ve learned how to silence the negative self-talk that tries to overwhelm them. Instead, they take the time to see why they might be feeling these negative emotions rather than giving in to these overwhelming feelings.

They Maintain Motivation from Within

This lady doesn’t need a pep talk from her man or someone to light a fire under her to get her going. Men love that she is focused and driven and has learned to enjoy the process along the way. She understands that the process will bring growth, and the best part of the journey isn’t always winning but the lessons you learn along the way.

Emotionally Intelligent Women Welcome Change and New Experiences

Why do people fear change so much? According to an article in Psychology Today, people are afraid of things they cannot control, and you have no way to predict the outcome during change. However, those with emotional intelligence don’t fear such shifts as they know that if they want to grow and have the best life, they must pursue good opportunities.

They Embrace Their Progress and Know They’re Not Perfection

A woman needs to accept herself for who she is before she can love someone else. A man is very attracted to the compassionate and warm personality towards others and herself. She knows that she’s not going to be perfect, and she’s okay with knowing that she’s a fallible human.

They Express Themselves Assertively and Not Aggressively

Being emotionally intelligent means that this lady has mastered knowing the difference between assertive and aggressive. Assertive people know how to advocate for their rights respectfully. While an aggressive person is vastly different because they don’t have the assertive individual’s calm control.

You don’t have to be domineering to ensure people stay within your boundaries. According to an article in Personal Development Master, an assertive person tries to avoid any altercations or resistance, while the aggressive person embraces it. It helps that she’s open-minded when it comes to conflict resolution.

Emotionally Intelligent Women Are Empathetic

Since this lady is so in touch with her emotions, it’s effortless for her to relate to other folks. She also can read people, so she uses these emotional cues to see the hurt. A man loves that a woman can understand what’s going on in his mind, and he doesn’t even have to open his mouth.

They’re Receptive to Constructive Criticism

Constructive criticism is hard for even the strongest person to take, but this lady knows that it’s what’s necessary for growth. While no one likes to hear how they can make things better, she knows this isn’t a personal attack. She embraces people who take time and effort to help her become a better version of herself.

Final Thoughts

After looking through this list, it’s easy to see why men are attracted to emotionally intelligent women. When you’re looking for someone to have a long-term relationship with, you want them to be intelligent, assertive, compassionate, and have empathy towards others. Anyone that displays just a few of these characteristics is a breath of fresh air and someone worth investing time in.

Forgiveness Isn’t Always the Best Option

 

I guess we have reached that point to liquidate! Now that Our relationship is over
You go your way and I shall go mine.

When you’ve been hurt, you may feel pressure to accept forgiveness from the person who wronged you. Whether that pressure comes from society, family, or within, it can be hard to ignore it. Sometimes, though, forgiving isn’t the best option.

This may come as a shock because you mostly hear that forgiveness is essential. You will hear that it is the only way to heal and move on, but this isn’t always true.

By not forgiving someone, you are not dwelling on the past or harboring negative emotions. Instead, you are staying true to yourself. No matter what anyone tells you, you do not have to forgive someone who has wronged you.

Sometimes, not only is forgiveness not the best option; it may even become the worst option. It is up to you to decide, however, if you will forgive or not. Consider the situation as your other options, and then decide what will be best for you.

Just because you’re staying single, after a breakup, doesn’t mean you are lonely. Whether you’ve always been single or just left a relationship doesn’t matter. You will no doubt dodge many invasive questions from friends and family members.

While these prying family and friends mean well, you can remain a party of one and still be happy. A motto to live by is that it’s better to be single than to waste your life dealing with the wrong person.

Recent statistics report that about 50.2 percent of people in the United States are single, which is more than double the percentage in the 1950s. Of course, some of these people are widowed or divorced or are in a relationship but live separately. However, some are just enjoying their independence without a significant other, which is completely acceptable.

Final thoughts.

The term lets part as friends, is highly overrated. Some folks can do it while others can not. I've lived with women and did not marry  them... my excuse was I have already tried marriage. I've also stumped my little toe, and it was not fun, I don't see any reason to do that again either.

Why Stay In an Unhappy Marriage!

 

I want a separation, for period of time before we call in the lawyers 

If you’ve ever met someone in an unhappy marriage, you may wonder why they stick it out. Or, perhaps you’ve experienced dissatisfaction with married life yourself and know the reasons firsthand. Typically, couples want to honor their marriage vows and feel torn when getting a divorce. Sometimes, leaving a committed relationship can seem worse than the anguish of staying with your partner.

Of course, most people desire to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship well into their golden years. No one wants to have an unhappy marriage, but unfortunately, life isn’t always smooth-sailing.

Problems and disagreements inevitably arise, and some couples find that they aren’t compatible anymore( maybe they never were compatible). They may decide to dissolve their marriage or tough it out despite the glaring issues or incompatibilities.

Below, I will go over the main reasons people report staying in unsatisfying relationships.

 Investment of Time.

Many couples decide to remain in an unhappy marriage if they’ve invested many years into the relationship. If they’ve been together for a decade or more, they probably feel pretty comfortable in the relationship. They may not want to risk a divorce, even if they don’t necessarily feel happy in the marriage.

Perhaps the couple would rather stay married unhappily than look back at their relationship as wasted time. Called the sunk cost fallacy in the business world, it can also apply to marriage.

This theory states that the more resources and time one invests into something, the more one will continue investing in it. Studies show that couples would stay in an unhappy marriage the more money, time and effort had been invested in the relationship.

In that case, they might think being single would pose even more problems. They would have to start over from scratch and take on all the adult responsibilities alone. Some people see being married as the better, safer option, especially if they have a lot to lose.

They Still Have Feelings For Their Partner.

Even if a partner feels stuck in an unhappy marriage, they may still have feelings for their spouse. Those deep feelings don’t just disappear no matter how much the couple has drifted apart. People may also stay in toxic relationships because they don’t want to hurt their partners. They may realize the relationship no longer works but can’t bring themselves to leave.

They can’t live with them but can’t live without them. The saying observes how love is blind, and perhaps that universal sentiment keeps many people in unhappy marriages.

 Financial Concerns (this is the Big one).

Living costs a pretty penny in today’s world, and divorce only adds more stress to rising prices. Many people can’t afford to get divorced and have no choice but to stay in an unhappy marriage. The cost of divorce increases considerably if couples can’t agree on how to split resources. So, they may decide it’s too complicated and time-consuming to end their marriage.

Plus, their partner may have left full-time work to raise children or take care of the home. In this case, they would have no resources to start over independently. They might have to earn another degree or take a low-paying job to make ends meet. This puts them at a severe disadvantage in the workforce, especially if they’ve been out of work.

Some studies have found that people might stay in an unhappy marriage for their partner’s sake. For example, if their partner depends on them for financial stability, their chances of filing for divorce decrease. While they no longer feel content with their partner, they can’t bear to see them struggling to survive.

They Have Kids Together.

Having kids together makes the prospect of divorce much less appealing. In this case, ending a marriage affects the whole family and can have lifelong impacts on a child’s emotional health. Some people stay together for the kids because they know children need stability to thrive. However, some research shows that children fare better if their parents leave an unhappy marriage.

Divorce does have detrimental impacts on children, but they will heal as time goes on. However, keeping children in a stressful, unstable environment causes even more significant problems for their mental health. In this case, having joint custody of the children would probably benefit everyone equally. But, the couple must decide what’s best for their family.

They Fear Backlash From Friends or Family.

A terminated marriage can create tension in even the most tight-knit families, especially if their religion or culture looks down on divorce. Sometimes, people remain in unhappy marriages to avoid backlash from their family or peers.

They may not want to deal with the humiliation or drama of getting divorced. The couple may also have mutual friends and not want to lose them by breaking up.

In most cases, a failed marriage affects the extended family, and couples usually consider this when discussing divorce. Collectivist cultures may even shun couples who get divorced, making them more likely to remain in unhappy marriages.

However, studies have shown that staying in toxic relationships can reduce well-being even more than being single. In other words, it’s better for your health to leave dysfunctional relationships, even if your family disagrees.

 They Believe Things Will Improve.

Finally, people may decide to stay together despite being unhappy if they have hope for the future. Perhaps they’ve convinced themselves that somehow, their partner will change, and they will eventually feel satisfied. They might even ignore any issues, reasoning that they can enjoy the good parts of the marriage instead.

Maybe if I  could just ignore her nagging, I can still  live with her.

Final Thoughts 

People stay in dysfunctional relationships for many reasons, usually due to finances, time invested, and fear of change. No matter how toxic the marriage, they may prefer familiarity rather than starting over with someone new. They may have children together and not want to burden them with a divorce.

However, most studies show that couples and children fare better once an unhealthy marriage has ended. If couples can’t resolve their differences, it’s usually best for everyone involved to move on amicably.

Is there a gentleman in the house?

A Gentlemen used to be defined by their aristocratic birth, but these days they are often thought to be a dying breed. From James Bond to Prince Charming, true gentlemen are often the stuff of fantasy.

Think you might have found a true gentleman? Your man might not be born into the life of a gentleman, but if he shows these signs, then he’s on the right track.

If you were to define a true Gentleman these days, you might think of one with some of if not all of these qualities,

His heart is in the right place.

He might not always succeed, but your gentleman has good intentions at heart when he acts. Doing the right thing isn’t his motto, it’s his way of living. He’s kind even to strangers and inspires kindness in return.

He puts others at ease.

People find it easy to talk to him and they feel better when they’re around him. He can make people feel comfortable even in the most awkward of social settings. Meeting the parents for the first time? Don’t worry, within a half hour, they’re already calling him ‘Son.’ You’ve never waltzed before? He makes you feel like you’ve got moves like Cinderella.

He’s charismatic and people are drawn to him. He likes to make people laugh and is usually smiling himself. A true gentleman doesn’t have to take a class in etiquette, because he could teach it himself.

He respects your needs.

He could hold the door for you every time, but if you’ve chosen to show your independence by getting it yourself, he’s supportive of that too. Chivalry isn’t dead to him, but he also knows that you can slay a dragon all by yourself.

He cares about you and demonstrates that with his actions. You’ve found a true gentleman if he takes time to learn what pleases you. Sex with him is more about your pleasure than his. He takes pleasure in doing what makes you happy.

He takes pride in his appearance.

You’ve found a true gentleman if he never offends you with his odor or appearance. He combs his hair, shaves or styles his facial hair, he doesn’t wear stained clothes, and he takes care of his physique as well.

He has a unique style that sets him apart from the crowd. He’s more likely to pass on trends in favor of classic styles. His Throwback Thursday photos look just as stylish as the picture you took of him yesterday.

 He knows himself.

A true gentleman is opinionated but not forceful. He just knows what he likes and doesn’t like. He’s decisive and will always stand up for his core values when someone challenges them.

He has conviction in his beliefs and his moral character is unquestionable. According to The Gentleman’s Journal, a true gentleman says what he means and means what he says. He’s confident without being arrogant.

 He makes you a priority.

You’ve never felt like he just doesn’t have time for you. Your true gentleman makes eye contact when you speak and he stops what he’s doing to listen. He makes you feel fascinating by the level of interest that he shows.

 He likes to learn.

A gentleman never acts like a know-it-all. He gets excited about learning a new skill because he’s happy when his brain is active. He likes to engage with people from other cultures. Thus, he enjoys traveling to new places, discussing politics, or debating. He is open to differing opinions.

He might have a formal education. But it’s just as likely that your true gentleman learned from the School of Hard Knocks. He has a wonderful imagination and can be creative too. He’s likely to be an expert at something.

He is honest.

You’ve found a true gentleman if he is true to himself, you, and anyone that he’s just met. He has nothing to hide because he’s authentic and real. Lying just isn’t in his character. The only thing a true gentleman would conceal is a surprise for you.

He is always in control.

A true gentleman isn’t controlling of others, he maintains control of himself,  displaying emotional intelligence. He knows that emotions can run high at times. But he never lets others see him sweat. He could be stressed, but he looks cool under pressure.

He rarely raises his voice or gets physical when he’s angry, and you may  never heard him curse. He’s in control of his temper, in fact, you wonder if he even has one.

Final thought

If your gentleman has these traits, as his calling card, consider yourself lucky to have found him. He’s a rare one indeed, and all of these signs point to a happier you, well you should be happy if you value these traits.