Yeah, I F***ed Up!

Yup! That's a pretty bold statement (even with the missing letters)!

It stands for I Fessed Up, actually. I had the great pleasure of listening to a good friend of mine in a phone conversation who never curse. He admitted making mistakes and got in the habit of fessing Up to them. I had never previously thought about the word "mistake" in the same sentence with "Fessing up" without someone yelling in my ear "You F***ed UP."  The talk was all about how errors, when embraced and treated as learning experiences, can lead to wisdom and innovation. My friends are deep like that!

As I sat there listening, my mind drifted, I recalled my own failures and successes as a mid-life entrepreneur, memories of co-workers, clients, in-laws, wife and strangers that I met during my journey they all had this same question "do you know what you are doing?" The answer was always "Yeah, I got this." I left the cozy bosom of corporate life (when corporate life was still rather cozy) and started a business of being an IT Systems Analyst/consultant in my early 40s.  How hard could running my own business possibly be?  After all, I had been relatively successful at major brand companies.  I was raising two sons, supervised the building of a new home, I lived through and profited from Y2K, and worked side by side with other professional consultants over the years who I learned a whole lot from. I could surely handle outsourcing my talents for greater paydays.  

Well, in short, I f***ed up a lot.  I made every mistake a Self-Employed consultant could possibly make in less than a decade.  And then, just when I thought I was getting the knack of the entrepreneurial thing, the recession hit.  And then I got to make some new mistakes.  But I must have done a few things right, because I'm still alive – not thriving, but surviving.  Perhaps I HAD learned a thing or two. 
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." ~ Thomas Edison

Rather than beating myself up over my (many) missteps, I created a mental list of things I will never do again. A little History:  I went on a Cruise vacation to celebrate my 40th Birthday which stopped in Cancun. This port of call is now a reminder as the place where I hit another mile stone. I created a mental to-do-list I needed to accomplish before I hit 60, the key was to translate that list into an action plan. I figured I can always turn to my small group of trusted advisers and colleagues to remind me if I'm on the verge of repeating an old error (or am on the brink of a new one). I replace "Boy, was I dumb//blind/self-delusional" with "Boy, I sure learned something great and useful from that mistake." It didn't save me from my mistakes but I sure made me feel better about them -- and more optimistic about the future.  

Although I didn't think I would be Very Rich in the ten to twenty years (my action plan, actually had the steps I would take to get there in 25 years and retire happy) I figured I would be a lot more comfortable now than I was not clocking 12-14 hour days, perhaps I'll name my Yacht the "Do-over." Or simply "I F----ed-Up." Now time is slipping, I might take the Yacht off the list.....Nah, I still have time.    It was on the top of my list when I flew to this Tropical Island Paradise after my midlife divorce and was forced to start all over again, clear and simple,  I felt my reward should be having a yacht anchored in a beautiful bay, on which I would cruise out once in a great while and entertain my friends on-board whenever I felt like it. I'm still diligently working my plan, I'm just slightly off target. Here is why, everyday that goes by I'm reminded that things move so much slower on an Island and I'm losing valuable energy years... My ambition is still to retire comfortable but I may have to delay my retirement a few more years. I believe I'm not alone in this....... many people I know have hit this brick wall in the last 10 years and are having a hard time climbing over. They sure can't tunnel under. Many have to re-invent themselves, start new careers during their midlife years.... Not the easiest thing to do. Worse yet having to compete with University grads half their age. This can lead to depression, or worse. I found out years ago, that the brain is like a computer.... If that's true, then there really aren't any stupid people. Just people running DOS.    Start by Updating your knowledge, buy a smart device, and figure out how to use the iPhone 4S.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on...... Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look BAD. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.......Want some reassurance?  Stick with the plan, if you have one. If you do not have one, create one. Don't let the bullhorn, Yelling in your ear, stop you. Failure breed success! Everyone fears failure, but breakthroughs depend on overcoming failures. The best businesses embrace their mistakes and learn from them, some even re-invent themselves (like Apple did.) This, also applies to individual People. I think I will take a few hours now and then and go to the beach and count the sea shells, I will pick up from where "I F***ed Up" last.... after breathing some fresh air and keep on keeping on. Who knows I might have a brain-storm and the pace will pickup and I can make all my new plans happen in less time than my last calculations. 
Just look at this guy Dewey Bozella's fight for justice he is Boxing at the age of 52. 
Winner of the 2011 Arthur Ashe Award. Dewey even got a phone call from President Obama before his Big Pro fight. Damn, talking about PRESSURE. Just for the record Dewey Bozella won in the 4th round in his "One professional fight" by a TKO. This goes to show a mature individual (50+) with a goal and plan can make it happen, if you don't give up, or "Mess up." 


JUST Remember this: "Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.”

"If you do not have a target to aim for, you are going to miss it anyway." - Clifford Aga


In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: "it goes on."