9/23/2012

3 Signs the Wedding is not going to happen.


Bride leaning against street bollard smiling at groom sitting on steps
"What do mean you are having cold feet we are having a Summer wedding! This not
a logical excuse!"

It's a little late to be second-guessings things, buddy.
Why do most grooms have doubts right up to the last minute before they say "I do?" Or does the doubts continue after the wedding, into the honeymoon and beyond?

Researchers asked  recently married couples whether or not they had been uncertain about getting married, then followed up with the same couples four years later. The results: Women who originally questioned their decisions had significantly higher divorce rates than confident newlyweds.

While researchers only studied women, marriage is obviously one of the biggest decisions of a man’s life, too: You might feel like you’re losing your identity, while also trying to figure out how to fit together with someone else.
 It’s common for guys to get nervous on their big day, but how can you tell whether your concerns are normal or actual red flags? Here are three ominous warning signs you don’t want to ignore.



1. There’s an Elephant in the Room ( you hate her mother)
example If she’s a closet binge drinker  —and she likes automatic weapons, and you know it—or you absolutely despise her mother (but haven’t said anything), slam your foot on the brakes. A really important problem that hasn’t been talked about or dealt with is a warning sign that something needs to slow down or come to a complete stop. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with her, not only do you need to vocalize things you’re actually worried about—you need to know how to (and if you can) handle the tough stuff with her.   

2. You Don’t Want to Make Waves

If you’re truly unhappy, but continue to wear your game face, be careful. Sooner or later you will not be able to do it anymore. A lot of men try to be the “good guy” and not rock the boat. especially if she know how to use a gun, But instead of finding a solution—i.e. telling her exactly what’s going on in your head—you’re simply training yourself to be okay with disappointment and dissatisfaction. Sounds like a recipe for  disaster while  still married, divorce down the road to me for sure.

3. You Hide Your Dreams

She wants to go  backpacking in Europe while you want to some day  take time to finally earn that M.B.A. degree you always wanted? Speak up. Not sharing those things will come back to bite you on the rear-end. In order to stay connected to her, you have to be able to honor her dreams, and vice versa, or you’ll end up hiding important parts of your lives from each other. And her reaction might not be predictable. If you’re afraid to be honest with her in fear she’ll say “no,” then you’re not ready to say “I do.”
Start by sounding like Barry white:
"So Tell me your secret thoughts, I want to know every secret about what you really really want most out of life, and these are my dreams"

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