Dating or living with a woman with children,

Dating or living with a woman with children, which are not yours.

I can't wait for your kids to move in with us. REALLY?

As a man, I think that men need to select women that they can relate to on multiple levels, as do women need to select men who can be flexible. If a woman has children, that’s a very import part of her life. She comes to you as a package deal. Men who don’t want to raise another man’s children, need to leave these women alone. Don’t chase her don’t pursue her if you know that you will have a problem with her children and who the children’s daddy is etc.  Yeah, it is that simple! Because the damage you could do may not be reversible.   Don’t get me wrong if you are living a life where you are all about what you want, you can’t have children in your life. A woman with children will need to dedicate her important time to her children and your time with her, one on one time,  will be minimized. Don’t try to force her to choose between you and her children. If she is the woman you want then her children should be the children you also want, as part of your newly adjusted life , as part of a package. 

I’ve been fortunate to have been with two women, back to back who had children the first one had 3 sons. Being a father of two sons I had no problem stepping into the role of being a stepfather figure and a bit of a mentor to her sons.

So are you ready to play some ball? The weather is just cool enough!

They really respected me. I taught her middle son to play soccer because he wanted to spend quality time with me, and her youngest son felt safest when I was around their apt… her eldest son lived mostly with his dad and his dads wife, so I saw him ocassionally only on weekends. But him and my sons, when they visited me for the holiday, hung out together and got along great. So we became a blended family so to speak. But the relationship didn’t last. So I moved on to a mother of two lovely girls, next. I had zero experience raising girls, at that point. But when their mother decided to move into my home, her daughters came to live us. They had their own rooms they felt at home within a short period of time. Even though I loved the girls and they liked me a lot (maybe even loved me.) I felt their Mom wanted more than I was willing to give up too soon in the relationship. She wanted me to adopt the youngest daughter, but not the eldest one if we got married. I wasn’t ready to jump the broom so soon,  after just having  exited a previous relationship, and prior to that a very long term marriage. So once again this relationship didn’t work out either. I take some responsibility for that, I had unresolved issues, that I had not worked out yet. In listening to Michael Baisden in his video… It got me thinking part of what the problem for me was it’s never the women’s children, that made me pause. It was the women wanting a commitment too soon. I wanted to be the one to make the choice as to when to commit, not wanting to have multiple failed marriages.   Women need to not bum-rush a man, whom they think, they want... just because he fits what they want in a man and him being nice to her children. I still regret that neither of those two relationships went the distance because I missed the children most, after the breakups. As a dad, I miss my own sons, like crazy but they are  grown men now, with their own lives and women in their lives, but we text each other also daily. I think part of my attraction was that I love children, even if they are not mine. They are a blessing that the World  needs to keep rotating. So take it from a guy who has seen how easily children can become attached to you, try your best to not reject them because of your selfish needs.

Leave her alone if you are not willing to change her baby’s diapers.