Do men really fall in love with women who challenge them?

If you are trying to get your act together, as a man you may not really know the answer to the caption question. Unless you have been in a relationship with an accomplished  self empowered  woman.  As men we know how to “chase” who we think we want  but do we know what to do when she slows down or even stops and lets us catch up. Many women are stepping up to new levels these days. And many guys are not quite there on their levels,  yet. So what happens if she falls for a guy not on her level. Can he handle the challenges that come with her already being where he is trying to get to. Maybe Oprah and Steadman are perfect examples as to what  catching up to her really means……. Some men never catch-up to an accomplished woman level if  she keeps moving forward.

Now we all want the best person on our arm, but if she drives a luxury  car and lives ia better house than the man, for example, and his car is not as stylish. Do you, as man, go to pick her up and feel comfortable if she says: “ let’s take my car in stead of yours. We can leave your car here and you can drive it home after our date!”

OK that message is very clear she has created a picture of  a position of being more powerful than his. The message  should be even  clearer by how is it received (by him.) 

That  feelings of not measuring up to her can cause a man to retreat and not want to try as hard to make the relationship even get out of blocks to a possibility  of “forever after!” Maya Angeloe stated it best “ you may not remember what they said, but you will remember how they made you feel.” We are all sensitive beings but men have been taught over the years to be tough “don’t show your real feels, don’t let the other person know how they made your feel insecure and never let them see you sweat.”   

Don’t get me wrong an immature man would think, “OK, great. I get to drive her car, and it’s a Bentley.” But most guys that have a large ego might not want to be seen as a gigaloe in her car, he might think ti himself his friends will see him as her chauffeur. So what’s the big deal? It’s all in the perception, who is the lower hanging fruit in your relationship. She can feel quite OK with you as her man driving her car, but it’s her car. You will not let you for get it. “Put the seat back in the position that I had it.”     

Standard that have been established over the years (by men) have now started to erode. Men sometimes feel like the odds are stacked again them. Women are now feeling empowered. So what can two people do that are in these positions. Let’s ask Michelle Obama and Barack Obama… They started out as Michelle having the a job that made her his superior, for a time. He drove a beat up car, that had holes in the floor board. Picture her driving with him in that car and her questioning if she wanted to be seen in that car with him, to them  years later being driven in President of the USA’s vehicle, and on Marine One from the white house lawn to  flying on US One (around the country and world). So how did they make that happen? By being a team, she sacrifies her career for his drive to be all that he can be.  If you don’t know that delayed gratification comes with the price of sacrifies  up front. Not  insisting that the other person has to be “what and who” you want them to be. Might not work out well for either of you.   

“The audacity of hope” (chapter 9 ‘Family’)  leads to “change we can believe in”  

Now I will read….. 

“Becoming Michelle Obama “   

You see she was Michelle Robinson when they started out as equals, she is now perfectly happy with being Michelle Obama. She may have kept her maiden name if he had not become the leader of the Free World for 8 years. OK I’m not reaching here. Hillary was Hillary Clinton, when Bill was Governor Clinton  for years then Bill had a few scandals and she suddenly became Hillary Rhodam Clinton, after he was president Clinton. Well “She stands by her man” but her identity is now of an independent self empowered woman who is partnering with her Husband. If she had become President then she would have been the current leader of the Free World. NOT him! The would have been introduced as President Hillary Rhodam Clinton  and Mr. former President Wiliam Clinton. Slick Willy would have kept his credentials but she would not longer be in his shadow.