The need for distance is felt differently by men and women

This no longer feels “right,” he just keeps walking away from me!

Women often try to turn their lives around after they have felt they were betrayed or rejected (a breakup has a lasting effect on women.)  She may have had a relationship that painted “the perfect picture…” a romance that had her thinking she had found a “perfect partner!” But then it took a bad turn, she will have to find major strength to recover, from a chain of events. A woman must fight to escape a new dangerous web of secrets (her secrets, his secrets) to start fresh again. Can she keep her dark moments in her past hidden while opening up her heart again? Find a  new blend of romance, intrigue, and suspense that  will “boggle her mind right up until the bombshell climax erupts of new love is expressed to her’

It may be her second or third chance at love  but she needs to figure if it’s a tale of lust --- full with illicit temptations, just a crush or real true love….she needs to know before she’s willing give a new love possibility, a shot. She can’t just throw caution to the wind and jump  into a union, and have new regrets all over again.

Men on the other hand have rubber band instincts even though we may have felt rejection or even betrayed in a previous relationship(s) we don’t need the reassurance of the words like 

”Trust Me, I’m different” coming from  a new female love interest. We men will through caution to the wind in hope that this time it will workout.

Both men and women Doubt their partner’s love sometimes 

Without a full understanding of the many cycles in relationships it is easy to see how men and women begin to doubt their partners love for them. Without seeing how a woman can inadvertently prevent men from finding their passion in life,(by asking/telling the man to behave the way she expect him to,or the man commanding the woman to be who he wants her to be)  they often simply assume  that their man/woman will be the same all the time as when he was  “chasing her.” SMDH  the chase is a challenge, but establishing a new relationship brings on an all together new set of challenges.  Feeling a continuous strong  need for her presence, can and will overwhelm a man at times. She wants him to have eyes for her only. But when he needs to pull back she misinterprets his behavior as he is  now interested in someone else not just something else that may have nothing to do with her or another woman. Something else  could be many different things, a job situation going well or not going well, a desire to have a new set of challenges, a need for a few new set of buddies to hangout with. Ladies it’s not always about “sex” and chasing a new female. This is how women misinterpret men’s behaviors. To a certain extent a man loses himself through connecting with his partner. 

What does that mean?

Men may just need “some space” or “need to be alone, to collect their thoughts and understand their true feelings  for a period of time” regardless of how it is described, when a man retreats, he is full-filling a valid need to take care of himself for a while. Just like we don not decide to be hungry, a man does not decide to retreat. It is an instinctual urge. Men can only get so close, and then he begins to lose himself. At that point he begins to feel his need for autonomy  and begins his retreat for better positioning. 

OK, so why do men pull away when women want to get close? 

For many women, a man tends to pull away precisely at the time when she wants to talk and be intimate. This occurs for two reasons:

A woman will unconsciously sense when a man is pulling away and precisely at those times she will attempt to establish their intimate connections and say the Magic words “Let’s talk”. Hm! he hears this and he continues to pull away, she mistakenly concludes that he doesn’t want her,  that he does not  care for her, “woman!”, he just does not want to talk.”