10/20/2024

Lady you are more than enough

 When does it become evident, to a man that she may not like herself as much as she should?


The Sadness in her eyes tell a telling story of low self-esteem. 

Very often men pursue women without knowing their history or their current state of minds. Men see her as someone that they totally admire externally, and even her accomplishments. And that is all that matters to us, momenterally...during “the chase” and even  in the beginning of the relationship. But then the experiences of being together comes into play. She has things that we question, behavioral patterns that erks us..., things about her past that keeps popping up, and these things  may destroy what you are in the middle of buildoing with her. Unless a man  is willing to take the time to understand that her self esteem issues are more that he were aware of and now maybe what he is not willing to deal with…. He runs the risk of doing more damage than good to her. She might just fall apart, if there is a breakup, and go over the edge. She might crash like a wave on the Rocky shoreline. Losing herself to self pitty and  even become suicidal. Now unless a man is totally unfeeling this can become a problem that he may not have foreseen. And now has to deal with… there are so many people dealing with abandement issues, it’s crazy. Men and women, that are not being treated by professionals, may have strange ways dealing with their lives forward. The numbers are telling…. stories after stories. 

Now I know that the women that are reading this are questioning why am I picking on women and their *issues. When it’s usually a man or two that cause women to have lowself esteem issues. I have to concur… because women often need to be validated. And men usually need to feel trusted. So putting  these fact in evidence we are often in a cycle of a spin-drying like in a whilpool washer. Flipping up and over and being spun around until all is said and done, Men lose the trust that women initially had in them, and women lose the validation that they often require to feel worthy of love, compassion, and admiration.


The following are a few pointer that can make for a  happy Couple self-help therapy - K.I.S.S.


  • Refresh and enjoy each-other, often! 


















  • Spend quality time together as often as time permits


  • Grant each other  a professional massage every now and then









  • Sweat out the toxic stuff together in the Sauna

  • Let’s get rid of all the toxic energy here and now.

  • let’s leave it all here in this barrel











  • Give each other attention when it’s needed most….Remember - Her wave is crashing  you need to recognize  that it’s happening, and give her your support, and he needs to feel her trust when he needs it most.

Take off the hat and shades, and  let me teach you how to swim. You can trust me!
























Giving her a piggy back ride now and then.

 


Lift up  her spirit when she needs it most!

Remember men are “givers” and women are “taker” give him the opportonity to give and her the opportunity to “receive”  












A woman May be Using The silhouette of semi-nudity, to overcoming fears!


The mostay is provocative look a woman can dispayl not nudity! It’s the silhouette of almost-nude!


Her thoughts: “OK I just wanted to test his reaction!”


Never mind how things start out with a new love interest, as a man you will have instinctive fears of wanting to run away from love or become hooked on just falling in love. This is the time to work on your unhealed feelings. When deep feelings come up you would be very wise to seek help from a therapist. When deep issues come floating to the surface, we project our feelings onto our new love interest. If we did not feel safe to express our feelings to that person or a past love partner, all of sudden we cannot get in touch with our true feelings in the presence of our present love interest. At this point, no matter how supportive your new partner might be, when you are with this new person you will not feel safe to share every detail of your fears. 


It’s a paradox: 

because you feel safe enough with your new love interest,  your deepest fears have a chance to surface. When they surface you become afraid and unable to share what you are feeling.

This is when having a counselor ot therapist is tremendously helpful. When you are with someone you are not projecting your fears on, you can process the feelings that are coming up, way better.  If you are only with your new love interest, you may feel numb. This is why people who are in new very loving relationships may inevitably need the help of a therapist, to overcome fears. Sharing in support groups also has this liberating effect. Let me emphasize  by saying this;  women usually have support conversations with their BFFs. Whereas we men keep our issues a secret. When our unresolved feelings are being projected on our intimate partner, he or she is usually powerless to help us. All our partner can do is encourage us to get professional support by understanding how our past continues to affect the ebb and flow of our love emotions. We begin to trust love and its healing process. Which is essential to keeping the magic of love  alive, we must be flexible and adapt to the ongoing changing seasons in our lives. 

   

Will he ask me about my tattoo on my hip? And why did I put it where I have it? 


Final thought A provocative look a woman can display can drive an army of men crazy

We can dream that they are doing this just for use individually, but they may not be thinking about us as  men at all.! During COVID-19 I saw a dude enter a strip club and pickup 2 women  each on his shoulders and carry them off to a safe location. Now I am sue he thought they would be appreciative but they were not!He thought he would rescue these women from COVID-19 but they were not scared of COVID_19 they were scared of him. 

  




















  


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