Honey I'm not home, I will be late!

We all have our moment where we want to step out and have fun with our friends. Coworkers...etc

Ladies have girls day out and fellahs may want to hang with their boys at the gym or the club. some clubs are more enjoyable than others. The question each group will ask why do you need to make it a habit?  Once in awhile is OK but every Friday can become a problem! 



An evening at the Spa can be a nice experience!

 So if your are not in the habit or massaging and helping her take care of her feet you might be leaving those duties to someone else who is maybe paid to do it. The tips can become an expensive expenditure!

Your best friends can complicate your relationship.... hanging with your girls too often, I'm sure women think that their men are hanging with his boys at the strip club too often also!

 

While you're hanging with your peeps maybe all  harmless and just fun, the mind of your partner is going 20 miles a second wondering why you need to do this at all.

Dudes can be insecure about your play-dates with your girls, just like ladies can be unsure about their guy hanging with his boyz at the club.

OK that is one side of the issue.... We need to explore both sides!

When friends, male or female, have so much influence on your time, it can change your relationship with your partner. Some partners are very understanding.... in the beginning. I know this because I have walked the walk. My ex-wife  travel with her flight attendant friends to Amsterdam, Argentina, Paris, and other exotic places without me, in later years of our marriage.  I was always dealing with overtime hours and project deadlines, my time was limited. So we only traveled together,  when I had vacation time.. sometimes with our sons as family vacations. so needless to say I wondered about these middle of the week trips for 2-4 days with her girls. While I kept the home front running smoothly in her absents.

Confession time: When I first got married I set the rules that Wednesday nights and some Friday night was 'My time' to do what I wanted, because I had a habit of hanging with my boyz on those nights before I got married. We would go to the gym and shoot some hoops, and then head over to a club that had 'miss legs contest' every Wednesday at a  Place called "Kisses" 25 miles North-West of Chicago.Then I would leave the office with my colleagues and head to happy hour on a Friday, and call and tell my wife I would be late coming home.... She accepted it until  she got pregnant with our first child, then she started tripping that I had to start acting like an adult. She was right I could no longer do the same things like  I did when I was single.

 It was time for 'New RULES' 

Fellahs, your lady needs special pampering after a long week of walking in high heels.

Figure out where you are in your relationship and establish the Rules that you both can agree to, and stick to them!

She is just as sexy today as when you first saw her let her know that you recognize the following: A picture is worth a thousand words.. but a picture with a caption conveys the full message..



Why women cheat?

First My disclaimer... I copied the following. so that no one thinks. I'm an expert on

"why Women Cheat."

 

As far as stereotypes go, a wandering eye and the urge to jump into bed with multiple partners seems to be built into a man's DNA, but when it comes to cheating, the sexes are created more equally than we think. (Cough, Kristen Stewart, cough.) Renee Lee, a relationship expert with a masters in psychology, dishes out five reasons why women cheat.

Her eyes are searching the horizon for someone new !

 

 

 

1. Going Through A Transition
 

"If it is graduating, turning a certain age, losing a parent or advancing the relationship status, women become introspective," explains Lee. "Even if it is something she wants, such as just getting engaged or graduating, the transition can stir up an array of emotions about where her life is going or where she is in it. The discomfort of change can trigger an impulsive desire to find someone to take her focus off the change and be a diversion for what she is going through."

 

2. Not Feeling Adequately Celebrated

 

We've all been here: "May it be getting a promotion, organizing a fundraiser, or making Thanksgiving dinner for a party of 20, men often make the misstep of "not complimenting their partner's achievements," Lee says. "Women seek an emotional connection that their partner notices them, is proud of their achievements, and appreciates what they do, so when they aren’t getting this at home the residual effects lead to feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, depression, and restlessness."

And that's when they could go looking for it elsewhere. "When you are living in the day to day with someone, it is challenging to step outside a situation and notice the things that do matter to someone," adds Lee "As this wears down over time, so as soon as the woman encounters someone who ignites the spark they are lacking at home, they equate it to an emotional connection and seek companionship with someone else." If she goes on vacation without you, she might meet someone else who will fill the void! 

 

3. Feeling A Relationship Ending
 

"When a woman feels that uneasy sense that a relationship is on the outs, by either her doing or his, she will often look to fill the void externally to soften the blow," Lee reasons for a woman's infidelity. "If she is the one considering the breakup, she may be using this tactic as a challenge to herself both testing the waters, and then gauge if she can go through with it."

 Watch out her mouth might het hot!

4. It's Just Not Fun Anymore

...But it's too hard to pull the plug. "When you don’t laugh, you don’t love. Laughter is one of the key elements in a relationship that often gets overlooked," Lee explains, simply. "When stresses of day to day life become the dominant factor in a relationship, women feel unhappy. When they come across a coworker, or friend that they have a good time with, it suddenly brings to light what is missing in their own relationship and becomes tempting to act upon."

 

5. It's Boring In The Bedroom

 

Men aren't the only ones who need to spice things up. "Women need to feel desired!" Lee declares. "If she is not getting any, enough, or nothing to talk about, women start to feel a sexual void. With the popularity of books such as Fifty Shades of Grey, television shows, or listening to friends talk about their fun single trysts, women have that moment when they compare their love life at home to what the rest of the world seems to be experiencing." And that's when she may start to wonder what she's missing.

 

Don't lockout your potential Soulmate.

He could be your soul-mate, all you need to do is give him the green light to say "hello!

 he might be a romantic guy.. who might take you on a vacation will never forget! 

 

Women who have been hurt by some mistakes they made in the past, sometimes continue to  lockout possibilities with a new good guy. Men are not all the same. We men are like  cars in a parking lot , different colors, different makes, even different models. ....with different taste in places to take you on a romantic dinner.

 

From my point of view as  a guy who has seen it, all to often, where good women have been hurt by one guys actions that the spend a lifetime alone.  They were hurt because a guy did not appreciate all the "Added value" attributes she brought to the relationship, stomped all over her heart.  Let's face it this is as old as the beginning of time. We men only learn to appreciate good women after we mature (which take time 35 and older.) We can't help it. we are condition to look at sexy and beauty as the only factors that matter. We seldom choose the smart and self confident female first. That is a positive thing, ladies. Because we will appreciate you after we have made most of the wrong choices and have made all the major mistakes  we can make, this  leads to better choices do to maturity (experience comes from BAD choices made in the past.)

You don't want to be "his first choice," you want to be "his last choice." ( This becomes  life long commitment)

 

In sharp contrast we men really want a woman to prove to us that she is not coming to us with  over-weight baggage( not your size, but your drama.) We men are like the airlines we weigh your baggage and decide if it is too much stuff to deal with. So travel with only your necessities. Everyone travels with some luggage, bring yourself and some "Added value items"  only. You need new stuff, this is why you are moving on to a new relationship. By bringing junk you don't need, you prevent yourself from having a  chance to true happiness. He might be your soul-mate ( women think about having soul-mates, while men just want a good mate,) who will help you in areas, you thought  no one would care enough  about you, to help you with. Help you with your career, raising your kids (not his), helping you in areas no one else was willing to deal with. These are all the areas that you need help with because if you didn't...... you would not be dealing with the problems that you are dealing with right now. Men can be compassionate not just users/losers. Ask him questions when you meet him, was he close to the women who he grew up with.

If he say "Yes" he is a keeper.

 

 

Gvie her Free compliments

"OMG! You look so good today, better than yesterday! If you don’t mind me saying, you are one beautiful and classy lady. Any man would be proud to have you on his arm for life." This is what happens when men stop complimenting their women. Other guys see what we may take for granted. Being in a long term relationship has a few minor problems. One is that  men and women become mind-game  players. Ask yourselves,  do you still think she is beautiful...? So if you do, tell her. This goes both ways: She should also tell her man that he is still everything she fell in Love with. Failing to do this will result in a dysfunctional relationship! You might as well be driving bumper cars where crashing into each other is legal.

My simple take on this is that men should treat their women like they do their special classic cars.

 Keep her shining and sparkling... bright, well serviced and well maintained. If you take care of your woman like your car, she  will take care of you, the same applies to the woman you choose to be with, if she made the right choice... she will take good care of you!

Okay, maybe a car is a bit of a stretch, to use as an example. You wash, polish and wax your car,  and detail it, by detailing your woman (given her the attention she needs) you are making sure that she feels the ' Tender Loving care'  you are capable of giving her, president Obama  is a perfect example he never misses an opportunity to compliment the First Lady in public. I think she is smiling at him because he said something  like this: "I'm a luckiest man, and I really appreciate you being front and center  in my life and that you do so very  much  for me every day....." Now that is not so hard, is it ...? Try it sometime and don't forget you need to have 'date nights' now and then to take her out for a spin and show her off. This will keep you both remembering the days you were dating and she looked so good and smelled so good..... every time you went out on a date.

You don't need to worship the ground she walks on, you just need to make her feel like you do. Act the same way you did when you were trying to get her to commit to being your woman, the mother of your children, your life's partner. 

Ladies he may no longer look like that dashing guy, with rock hard body,  that caught your attention, many years ago, but he needs to feel like you would still pick him over anyone else. It's no secret.... I'm more than a  little old school, I recall grooving  to this song, back in the day. The word are very strong, "No pain, no gain." So if you put in the work and gained good benefits through your hard work and pain... why would you let someone else benefit from your hard work, by neglecting to do the little things that can keep your relationship solid? I've realized some time ago that was in part what caused my marriage to become a divorce relationship today.  So take it from a guy who knows..... Avoid becoming the guy who will be writing a blog, and blogging about the things he wishes he had paid attention to, a few years ago. The little things are major things in every relationship; Positive compliments bring positive responses and may result in a return compliment. Negative comments bring out the worse in someone.... Now you might be thinking what if 'I just don't say anything.’ silence may lead to her sitting all by herself and thinking.

In this case "silence is not golden" These days  'Uncertainty is not the good new normal.' So you may be thinking why start doing something that might change things.... then you are making an even bigger mistake. Because she/he will believe you just 'don't care.' Neglect never works well if you want a relationship to last. If you don't  want it to last then just keep doing what have being doing, this is a proven way to cause  things between couples to  end, neglect her and watch her smile because someone else is paying her  compliments. Because she looks good, smells great in her new dance  outfit. she also may find a new dance partner.

in that case  You lose!

So, who's your Daddy?

As more people have their DNA tested and as the results databases grow, you will have an increasingly better chance of connecting with your birth father by genetic means. While it is true that you are unable to trace your father's identity through his Y-DNA (the traditional male paternity signature) because a female does not inherit it, do not despair: There is another method. Autosomal DNA testing looks at the 22 pairs of chromosomes that do not determine gender. This can be very useful in identifying relationships within five generations of yourself, without being limited to only maternal ancestors.

It is true that your results will be most useful if your biological father or one of his close relatives (preferably his brothers or sisters or his first cousins) also had genetic data registered with the DNA testing company you use. Companies like23andMe (through DNA Relatives) and Family Tree DNA (through Family Finder), as well asAncestry.com and Genographic, can compare the data from these autosomes for shared segments. You should take tests with each of these companies as their databases are proprietary -- that is, they are not shared or overlapping.

The closer the genetic relationship you have with a person in one of these databases, the more identical segments of DNA you will share. And these companies even determine, through the lengths of these segments, if you have a brother or sister in the databases or, indeed, if you descend from a parent. But we stress that this is a very long shot.

According to the 23andMe website, "DNA Relatives uses the length and number of these identical segments to predict the relationship between people." If your birth father himself has contributed his DNA results, you will be able to tell [if] he is your father. A 30 percent to 40 percent match with someone probably indicates that the person is your half-sibling. 23andMe and Family Finder both display predicted relationships between you and the people whose DNA aligns with yours to some degree. This means that by submitting your DNA results, you would be casting a net and hoping that a relative on your father's side has contributed DNA as well. Should you find any such people, you can contact them through the company you have both joined.

Men in your family are like these boats they're anchor pretty close together!

The Alpha male and others versas the Alpha female.

The female these days has choices between 2 types of Alphas and 2 types of Beta men!

She just need to point her arrow and hit the target of her choice!

Men can always find a Beta and Omega female so I'm not going to  cover them in this post, if you are looking  for a Beta female just look around an Alpha female because they are hanging with her if they are in a group.

Omega females are wall flowers.... I will leave it at that.

The alpha plus+ ,male- these are the highest ranking type of male. Men who fall under this category have had multiple partners both long term and short term. Most think that men like these  are incapable of maintaining a long relationship. this is not true. these guys are very much in control of their lives, they don't let women or anyone for that matter dominate then because they are the ones in charge.

The Alpha Minus-, these are second highest types of men. They usually attractive and although they look like Alpha plus men, but many of them lack the intelligence, because of this lack of intelligence these Alpha minuses rely on charisma and other personality traits to get ahead of the group. Due to their high male social ranking status, many of them are often distracted by the amount of beautiful women that are easily available to them and this is what separates them from the Alpha pluses. Alpha minuses are usually jocks, athletes and some are musicians. Bare in mind that they are  very much alphas despite they are  being  ranked slight lower that the Alpha pluses.

The  Alpha Male body language says it all. He is strong but strong doesn't mean a lot of muscles. it means a male who gets around in the World on his own power and gets what he wants thought confidence, courage, intellect and high determination. He moves slowly and deliberately with no wasted motions. he stands proudly erect, relaxed--- but alert- in all situations. they are generous, outgoing and cheerful with everyone, for they seldom worry about petty stuff.

The Beta Plus +, this group may have the potential to become alpha pluses or Alpha minuses, unfortunately, they lack the drive, willpower or direction. they are intelligent but they are socially inept.

The Beta Minus- Aside from the constant need for approval from others to feel important, they reflect the negative traits of the Beta plus. They usually have a distorted view of the World they enjoy reveling in victim-hood while constantly complaining and blaming others for their failures and gross short comings. they dwell on self pity as self improvement is a term that is alien to these guys.

Nowadays men have easier access to sex partners because Beta Females are more likely to give up sex easily. women are still the gatekeepers of sex therefore it is and has always been up to women as to who gets laid and who does not.

The Alpha Female, an alpha female is a dominant female in a group. she dates who she wants as she wants, is strong and confident and a are hard workers are usually very busy. because they go-getters and are playful at times. Alpha females are intelligent, intellectual  problem solvers, being a alpha female is often  terribly misunderstood. because they see their Alpha status as state of mind more than a physicality.  Alpha females are confusing to Beta men, as evident by the fact when they can't get her attention the y call her a "Bitch." 
or maybe she might be and A-sexual female you should know one if see one  click on the following.  

Many have not heard about Asexuals!

The 90 day rule and the $200 minimum date!

 here is one of my favorite statement. 

As some folks  think of New Rules, dating can take great strides backward or forwards by creating new rules or changing old rules...

Example: Rule #1
Steve Harvey came up with a New Rule: "The 90 day Rule" We men are still secretly planning to execute him for having the nerve to talk about dating after he got married. When did a comic become a relationship Guru.... OK it sold books .. Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man ( I alway say the title is to catch women who want to  have the greater advantage. because women don't want to think like men) If They  understand how men think they win, Harvey suggested women  treat men like an employer would  a new employee by placing them on a 90-day probationary period before a man can have sex with her. Does that really work? the jury is still out! Though the premise makes sense logically (men think logically), matters of the heart and body often aren't treated the same as matters of Finance and livelihood. Is it sensible for women, to punish men for each realtionship that failed in the past.
Dating in my book a  is process of elimination if you don't impress me,  you will be scratched from the list. So the longer you hold out  (keeping the cookie) the less chance you have of becoming the "Special One" in my book.
 
You might be sitting at the edge of the bed, 90 days later wondering what went wrong, while I go to sleep, because I have nothing I want to share with you ( it was not worth the wait.).
So a guy needs to wait like a new employee but still spend $200.-- on a first-second-third date?
OKay, Now I have your attention.  Remember now a guy is entering in the area on probation.  Who can afford to spend that kind of investment in this economy just because someone  came up with a silly rule.
Example of Rule #2.
The US$200.-- Date rule.
Apparently, a date isn't a proper date unless a man spends at least $200.--.


 Maybe "KISS--- Keep it Simple Stupid" might be less costly but  more impressive, if you have  maximum privacy, to talk and get to know each other.
I'm pretty sure it's been picked apart on Twitter at least one million times.In any case, the debate is baseless and everyone has varying expectations of what a date is or isn't. Location, cost of living, profession, personal preferences and standards all determine what a dat should be. An initimate conversation over coffee or tea at a coffee house for one woman is the equivalent of dinner and drinks at five -star restaurant of another. Here is where I stand on the subject: New rules on dating  are created to make  movie... and sell fictional books.

The best Rule is be honest and straight forward with the person you are trying to establish a relationship with. 

This should also apply to Real women, be honest and tell the truth don't hide the truth just so that you can keep a guy interested.