When you just want to find The New Naked truth!

Many of my blogs have music videos at the end  and pics  in the middle of the blog post. so it  should come as no   surprise that I believe music is the key to good relationships. If a couple shares moment of just wonderful memories of feeling the beat of each others heart in rhythm with what they  are listing to they can connect in a very  special way . This is why movies have those special love scenes  with music in the background  for maximum  effect.  Make sure you listing to the music at the bottom of this post." All of me" from a female singer.

If you are Thinking your bed mate is having a sub-par time—or the best sex of their life? Either way, you're probably right, suggests a new study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. 

For the study, researchers from the University of Waterloo in Canada asked 84 married or cohabiting heterosexual couples to split up and fill out surveys (no peeking allowed!). Questions covered their sexual and relationship satisfaction, how well they communicated about sex as a couple, and lastly, how satisfied they thought their partner was sexually. 

The results? Apart from the fact that men liking sex is pretty much a guarantee, researchers found that both the men and women in the study were pretty good at reading their partners' levels of sexual satisfaction. In fact, women were spot-on with their perceptions. Men, however, tended to slightly under estimate how satisfied their partners were in bed. WE guys are so delusional it's not funny! that right we think we lay it down every time!

Ladies if  you Want him to know you're enjoying it? Don't just turn up the volume on your moans. Scream his name at the right time. A recent The Journal of Sex Research study found that most men want women to share whether or not they crossed the finish line—as well as what really gets them going. So go ahead and ask for exactly what you want in bed—you'll both be happier for it. And most importantly take off the Fake Mask ! No silly sake  Ooooh and Aaahs, allowed!

Ladies......Be very careful you don't' live a life where you will  be making statement like this,  unanimous  40+ year old, someday! 

 " I  woke up one morning to find my husband had decided he liked our neighbor’s 20 year old daughter more than me and now I'm on my own at 40 years of age. There were problems in the bedroom for us; I would not  even consider swallowing  his load and I refused to take it in the rear; this was a huge problem for him ( because he love the freaky stuff)  and the reason he moved on. He  told his woman  many times that there were lots of women out there who would do what he wanted and she  said: " so what…" I guess she got her answer.I know hindsight is 20/20. 

I'm sure she is really upset now and feels the lost and thinks  perhaps she  made the wrong decision in
regards to satisfying her husbands who  had a need for that type of sex, which is what  he really liked;    My guess is..... if you want to hold onto your man you better look after his needs in the bedroom, or
someone else will. When her ex-husband’s girlfriend walks by smiling at her ; and  said: " your ex- husband shots a big load in my mouth; I loved it and swallow it; and the first time he gave it to me in  the rear-end it  was incredible! you missed out baby…" 

Men have a BAD-rep of being horny all day, every day. But—and this isn't news to you secure women who are pretty lustful too. A survey by Elite Singles revealed that 65 percent of women and 69 percent of men think having sex several times per week is ideal. Too bad that isn't the casein most societies. Most couples in their twenties and thirties are knocking boots once a week or a few times a month, reports the Kinsey Institute. Wow, back in my  day we guys would put it down at least once a day... so what's going on with this generation X and Y? Is my question.. too much fast food and too little Sexercise... would be my guess!

So why aren't all of us setting the sheets on fire more often? Blame our busy schedules. Studies have found that couples prioritize things like sleep and work ahead of sex------ leaving barely any time to eat dinner together, let alone have a 30-minute sack session. These sexless nights can have serious ramifications for the quality of satisfaction and intimacy in your relationship. A study suggests that the more you and your partner's sexual desires aren't met, the more you're likely to fight and feel dissatisfied with your union.

But there's an easy, convenient, and pleasure-filled solution: the quickie. OK before you freak out, think about the cultures that have siestas daily... What do you think they are doing, just having lunch and taking an afternoon nap?  It's all about fast, hot, unbridled passion, and who wouldn't want to make time for so good afternoon sex? With a little foreplay. or phone sex leading up to your encounter, the encounter can take even less time than it would to queue up your sexy-music playlist. Bonus: You can still get the health benefits from longer sex sessions. Sex is a physical activity, so I recommend you do it as often as you can for exercise, but it also helps you relax and adds to your bond as a couple, this is not coming from me... a urologist and reproductive medicine specialist at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital and author of The New Naked.  suggest that Quickies can also inject some spontaneous passion into your relationship. Sometimes women want to be taken. And if that's what you want, then a quickie is excellent. It's just as ideal if you want to be the taker as well. What's more important, if you have trouble having an orgasms  through regular intercourse alone, you can change that with Quickies  you will  experience the rush of adrenaline and oxytocin,(your body's feel-good hormone,) that comes with a sexy hookup at, let's say, by the kitchen sink while unloading the groceries.

 So are you game for exciting satisfaction in minimal time? You should have this conversation with your Sex- partner, first because he or she might have it on their to-do-list but are not sure you would be game. there is nothing like when a plan that is in your head, matches what's in your counterpart's head. Que up Marvin Gay;s "Let's get it ON"  Ooh Aah baby that's it! 

My Last few tips:

Create Mystery

Your man is an explorer by nature. The less he knows, the more he wants to know. That's why you pique his curiosity when you don't initially reveal your innermost thoughts. Example a half full glass of wine sitting on the table when he walks into the room  "So who did you drink red wine with, the glass is half full?"

Create Anticipation
Delaying gratification makes your man fantasize about you more. When you tease him with sexy text messages or the promise of sex, his imagination runs wild. 


OK if I have to give you an example on how to do this then you need professional help.

You both need Space
We Men want what's out of our reach. If you're not available to us 24/7 and you have an active life outside the relationship, he has time to miss you!

have some Surprises
Men flat-line  from the familiar. Variety is key. So throwing a new move into your game doesn't just turn him on. It maintains his ability to be attracted to you.

enhance the Scent
Biologists believe the reason your odor turns him on is because smell is one of the most primitive senses — it travels a direct route to the brain's limbic lobe, where it can promote an emotional reaction.  I'm out!

How to Make him ache for you!

Whether you are single and serially first-dating, or you are struggling with a distant boyfriend who you want to open up to you, or you want to get that ex boyfriend back –I may have a technique for you!

I has dedicated my  life to the art of helping women making their dreams come through maybe even getting the right  man by studying the art of attraction and developing a system to help women in every situation get the man they want. I have compiled all of my  research and knowledge into an easy to read e-book: ‘Make Him Desire You’. OK it is not mine but I thought I would get you interested in reading the book.

If you are interested in learning some unconventional ways to get a guy attracted to you. If you have relationship problems and want to fix them, or if you simply want to understand men in general better, you need to understand men.

Sure, you want adoration, respect, and the occasional sparkly treat from your man, but more than anything, you want to feel like he's still got the hots for you. Well, here's good news: Contrary to the widely held belief that men lose interest over time, experts now know that guys are actually hardwired for long-term lusting.

It's absolutely true, but it's not without conditions.You have to make a strategic effort to trigger that craving in him once you're in a relationship because the spark in your bond won't last if you neglect it. For that reason, Cosmo has discovered the seven key make-him-ache-for-you strategies that specifically jump-start your guy's desire. Be warned: Once you use them, he'll be sticking to you like white on rice, or black on Nubian. 

1. Utter the One Word That Drives Him Nuts!

As Lovey-Dovey  pet names makes him feel like your pet poodle, men pet names  still don't compare to the electrifying rush your man gets when his name crosses your lips with passion. Just hearing it is an aphrodisiac.  It ratchets up his desire because the message you send is 'It's you I'm thinking about and no one else.' And men need to hear that — it's tied to their primal urge to beat out all the competition.

However, just blurting out his moniker as often as possible isn't going to do it for him. You need to make it count. For instance, when you're feeling sexy in a public setting, like in a dark bar, drop it into conversation in surprising spots and pause for a beat or two: "And then...say "Jeremy..."  sigh and go to the ladies room and slam the door behind you. or if you are at home head to the kitchen after calling his name,  and sit on the counter, He will get the hint.
Or  you can try another trick when he's putting the moves on you: Just kind of coo his name to draw his focus entirely on to you.  Sometimes men are lost in their  own heads. But when a woman  moan his name, everything feels like it gets more intense between the two of you, like it brings him into the moment.

2. Reach into His Pocket for the Keys

Well, more than just the keys. The lesson is this: "Never underestimate the power of an unexpected touch, Just by stimulating his nerve endings when he's not prepared for it, you create a positive physical connection that leaves your man wanting more. Even better, your guy subconsciously gets hooked on those mini-moments of excitement and craves them when you're not around.

From now on, be on the lookout for opportune moments to touch him "accidentally." For example, don't ask him for his keys...glide your hand into his pocket and slowly take them out. Don't ask him to pass the salt...reach across him, letting your breasts rub against his arm. Don't walk past him in a crowded bar...press your rear into his gear. These sneak attacks work like a charm. If you've been really touchy-feely, the next morning, he'll be really snuggly.  It's like your man will want to be closer to you!

3. Keep Him Out of the Loop

The funny thing about men is that telling them less about your life makes them long for you more.  Like you using benwa balls when you are out with him. So as much as you might want to share the minutiae of your bitchy workplace or your take on the latest Grey's Anatomy plot twist, hold back. The hard truth is that from his end, that information is overwhelming and just flat-out boring. Men don't have the capacity to endure great amounts of detail. That's one reason why they don't give you the play-by-play of their lives, unless you insist on knowing.

Edit your small talk and you'll make a discovery: The less you tell a man, the more interested he'll become in your day-to-day.  If you're vague or dismissive about what you've been up to — like 'Oh, nothing. The usual. Work. Out with the girls' — he will become  eager to hear the story. And when he's the instigator/investigator, he listens more closely.

So to hook him in, when you're chatting, give him the conclusion of the conversation first. For instance, "I got the job" or "I saw your buddy Mark," and then stop and wait. You've gotten his attention, now let him draw out the details he's dying to know it from you.

4. Make Small Changes for Big Results

some women  get their haircut and  their guy don't  noticed at all, but when she had her brunette crown streaked red, he will be all over you if he likes red.  He always dreamed and will not  believe he is now fooling around with a redhead, The reason this new look drives  him nuts: Men register eye-catching changes to your appearance, and it draws them to you,Adding novelty will keep his desire for you strong.

There's a catch though: If you want to snag his immediate interest, the change has to be guy-visible. To activate his desire, it has to be a departure from your everyday look. Maybe take a break from your jeans routine and strut around in a miniskirt or try on a long gown. Wear a noticeably higher heels over a red  dress that flows to the floor making you took taller (think Johny Gill--- My My My)
 Or ditch your bra for a day and put a little extra bounce in your step.

5. Compliment Him the Right Way

Just because men don't fish for flattery (when was the last time you heard a guy ask, "Honey, do my pecs look small in this shirt?") doesn't mean they don't love ego stroking. "More than anything, men desire the feeling of being desired,.  When a man hears praise from his partner, it reinforces that she's attracted to him, which further intensifies his feelings for her. get him a name tag to pin to his label that tells him he is in charge.... even if he know you are the one calling all the shots.

But there's a trick to buttering up your guy right. You see, men are super-sensitive about too much gushing. It makes them want to gag and run far away. So when you give him props, stick to this tip: The more obscure and exclusive the praise to him, the more genuine it feels. He may dismiss your flattery with a grunt, but deep down, he's loving every second of it.

6. Give Him a Sensory Flashback  

Think about when you first fell for your guy. What reminds you both of that time (aside from the conniption fit you had every time the phone rang)? Figure it out and you've found the secret to conjuring up that new-love rush. "When he experiences something that he associates with falling in love with you, those intense, sensual memories trigger a positive physical reaction and generate instant longing," says Bernstein.

Case in point a simple sent can do the trick.  It takes me back to when you first met. Smelling that scent gives men the jolt all over again. To get your guy in the moment, revive an old brand of perfume, visit a favorite place from your shared past, or reinstate an early dating ritual. Oftentimes, you won't even need to say anything. These sensory connections are so strong that he'll be transported back in time instantly.

7. Check Out His Competition

Lust works in bizarre ways. Get this: If you want to renew your man's passion for you, slyly capture the eye of another guy. Men do become more attentive and turned on by their partners when they see them being desired by other men When she gets dressed up and guys at the bar check her out, She  knows  what her date is thinking, "Yeah, that's right. She's with me, suckers,"   Men definitely get clingier when he can smell the competition.

To stoke your guy's interest, trail a yummy waiter with your gaze or flash a flirty smile at one of his friends when you know he's watching you. And it never hurts to make an extra bit of effort with your appearance when you know you'll be in a situation where other men will admire you. Just the possibility of other guys eyeing you all night will definitely make him appreciate that he's the lucky dog who gets to take you home.

He will be Talking about you in these terms. 

YOU’RE NOT TOUCHING ENOUGH!

I've mentioned to  many guys who have a hard time getting down the concept of touching women that they’re interested in. It’s most likely because you’re raised thinking you should keep your hands to yourself. Then again I was also raised believing that you’re only allowed to urinate in bathrooms, yet I've marked my territory around  every Tree in my neighborhood, Just kidding.   So sometimes the things you’re taught as a kid are come with time limits and some are  complete B.S?

If you have ever been rejected for a kiss it’s most likely because you haven’t touched enough. If you kept your hands to yourself all night, and then suddenly try to get a kiss from your date, you’re going to come off too strong. It makes you seem like that creepy cousin at the Christmas Eve party who collects insects, and smells funny, who is quite all night, but after a few drinks he has his arm around all the female cousins, telling them how much he loves them and that the  two of them  should hang out more often.

So do yourself and your date a favor, start touching sooner  during the main course, don't wait till dessert to offer her a taste of how sweet your cheese cake is.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX ON THE FIRST DATE

My mom used to tell me it was rude to talk about sex with a woman, unless you guys were exclusively dating, I often wondered about that. And I’m sure many mothers have told many sons the same thing, because “that’s not what gentlemen do”. Just because I would do consensual-ly unholy things to a woman in  my car, doesn't mean I won’t hold the door open for her after we’re done. Talking about sex doesn't have to be rude. As a matter of fact have you ever met anyone who doesn't like sex? So why wouldn't someone want to talk about it?

If you transition the conversation in a matter that makes sense no one will be offended for talking about sex. If she’s talking about her recently deceased dog, and you say “Interesting…did you lose your virginity before or after you got your puppy” then it’ll just seem like you’re an idiot. So guys don’t be afraid to talk about sex, everyone likes talking about sex in the right setting.


TAKE HER TO YOUR FAVORITE  DATE SPOT

According to romance movies the ideal first date is dinner and a movie. Then again according to romance movies it’s completely acceptable to wait outside a girls window and watch her undress and climb into bed and go to sleep , so is pretty much any other form of stalking. But in reality if you text a woman too much she’ll be turned off( in sharp contrast men know a woman want him by the  amount of text we get from a woman in the morning , at lunch time before she leave the job and then again as she is getting ready for bed, and if  you have skills to turn her PC camera into you window into her room you can  watch her sleep from the comforts of you home and not from  a tree outside her window , if you get caught you’ll probably end up sodomized in your friendly local  penitentiary.

So if you take a girl for dinner and a movie on the first date, you’re most likely going to be spending a ton of money and end up going nowhere (she might like it, and also expect that kind of treatment every time you ask her out) . I think smart guys  take girls to happy hour at his favorite bar, while others like to take girls on picnics, and usually end up spending about twenty bucks.

You should be doing what you like to do, and not what you think you should be doing ( because it is in some handbook , a movie directed by Steve Harvey) . Because what you think you should be doing probably hasn't been working out too well so far.                                             Try listing to this old school jam. 

A Couple that works together, stays together. Most of the time!

 When there is harmony in the home, there is contentment in the community; when there contentment in the community, there is prosperity in the nation; when there is prosperity in the nation, there is peace in the World! ~ Chinese Proverb ~
Many business are  run by couples. some are One husband and wife team, who successfully established their own home-based businesses, despite the challenges that couples may face in trying this is a win win, if they can make it last.

Sure, working from home with your spouse can present some challenges as anyone can imagine. But if you want the business and marriage to both succeed, you figure out what works and what doesn't.

Not every couple is suited to work together, so consider carefully if your styles and strengths will complement each  other.
 That said, I personally know  a couple that works well together and are  highly effective and successful.
 I  personally witnessed  such a couple up close for years  (we became  friends when  our first born sons  were delivered the same night by the same doctor) . An  he  is an ex  all Pro Football NFL  Hall-of- fame former Athlete and his Lawyer wife. They run a very successful construction and real-estate business together, after a  knee injury force the husband to retire from pro football way too early. They also  just like me, have two sons . but that is where the similarities ends , they are still married and are doing great as a husband and wife  dynamic team.
 I always admired them and also envied them, a little .
I learned a few things from observing them for years. I'll summarize these strengths in these 6 tips for couples to increase the likelihood of having a successful business together:

1. Be a team. When going into business together, it is important that couples make the commitment to also be a team for their business. Being a team and being on the same page about it is crucial. This means doing things that will better the business, including avoiding petty arguments that will slow progress and growth.
2. Define your roles. Each individual will bring his or her own set of strengths to the partnership. Define roles based on what you do best and most enjoy doing. Each person should be responsible for something and be the boss of a particular area.
3. Be respectful to each other. Just as people who work together in offices outside of their marriage need to be respectful of one another, so too do couples. Give each other the same respect that would be given to co-workers in any other setting.

4. Take breaks from each other. Since there is a couple involved, not everything can be all work. It is important to break away from the duties and work and have some fun, take some breaks, and leave it all behind. Plan a lunch outing once a week where no work is discussed.
5. Use humor both in personal and business matters. When challenges do arise, it will help if they are approached with humor. There are always going to be hurdles for anyone to cross and work their way around. But using humor can make things much more bearable.

6. Consider separate offices. If possible, consider having separate  office space. This gives everyone their own space and then you  can come back together to discuss work items.
Hammer out Business and Personal details.

These lyrics are to a song I remembered the other day, it  spoke volumes as to how  we need to be victorious in our lives!

Love is so good to me

Bring back sweet memories

You have to ease my mind

Such joy, 'never knew I'd find

I will celebrate love's victory

I feel an eternity

So close as you'll always be

Tears and pain

Can't get in my way

You'll get me a brand new day

I will celebrate love's victory

I will celebrate love's victory

Love is so good to me

Bring back sweet memories

You have to ease my mind

Such joy, 'never knew I'd find

I will celebrate love's victory

Lifetime partnerships are not that different from business partnerships!

The reason why most people don't start their own business is because of fear.  It's the same fear that keeps them from being honest about what they want in a relationship, they're afraid of being alone, but twice as fearful of picking the wrong partner.

Or they  fear  traveling outside their hood,  city, or  country. That sort of fear makes the world a very small place where everyone looks like them, talks like them, eats what they  eat, and thinks the way they do. How boring. It also explains why prejudice, is strong in many communities!

Whatever your fears, the objective should be to overcome them otherwise you'll keep punching that 9-5 clock until you die and what could be scarier than that? And settling in a relationship that is not very satisfying, is too demeaning...besides it won't last anyway. As for traveling.... If you can't afford to travel your body then pick up a book and travel your mind. The library is free! Even amazon.com will have an occasional free e-books that are free of delivery cost delivered electronically  to your Kindle, Ipad or andriod smart devices.  

Nothing is scarier than a closed mind; closed to new perspectives, new people, new places, new food, and new ideas. I refuse to be stuck in a box because my skin color, my age, or others expectations. And you should feel the same way too. Courageous people are challenged by their fears, whereas cowards are crippled by them. Which one are you?  

We will see greener pastures if we tackle the challenges together! 

An important element in many entrepreneurial success stories is the business partnership.  However, building partnerships that last involve a great deal of work. Partnerships are like a marriage which means that issues like ego, money, and stress, plus the added factor of having to manage others, can wreak havoc on the relationship.

What is the one thing you should look for in a potential partnership to ensure it will be mutually beneficial and effective?” Here’s what  experts  had to say:

1. Honesty and Commitment

A business partnership is like a marriage. You need to be on the same page at all times. Communication is key—but the commitment to the product is even more important. Do you have the same visions? Talk about it – do you find yourself avoiding certain topics because you think they may have a different idea? Then that’s the one you should bring up first. 

 Ask any long term couple what they value most.... they will tell you that  Honesty and commitment is at the top of their list. 

 2. Transparency

It’s important to be transparent and open from day one, so that nobody is surprised to discover anything. Secrecy will lead to tension, which can doom an otherwise good partnership. 
So  you have secret that you are keeping for your partner. How well is this working for you? If you are  having to make sure you don't let something slip. Stressful isn't it? 

3. Complementary Skill Sets

It isn't beneficial or practical to form a partnership with somebody who shares the same skill sets and core competencies as you do. If both are fantastic at sales but not at running a company, then you either hire the needed talent, or face reality that the partnership was great in theory but not in reality. 
OK this falls in that category of complementing each other  in many ways. he does his  things well and she does that other thing well. in all case  both are important set of items needed to succeed. 

4. Strong Mutual Benefit

Our whole business is partnerships. Before approaching any partner make sure there is significant mutual benefit, otherwise you’re wasting everyone’s time. Partnerships take time and I've found the ones that make the most sense usually take the least time and bring the best results. Similarly those that I've been unsure of or not excited about either don’t pan out or have minimal success. 
If more couples would approach their relationships with these things in mind of having strong Mutual benefit (this the 21st century, why are we still doing things like we live in the dark ages?

5. Communication

Even the best intentions need to be vocalized when more than one person is involved in decision making. Stepping on toes is way too easy, especially in business. Communicating in real time has never been easier, there’s no reason not to!
I wrote a blog post about this already. click to read it 

6. Equal Terms

Just because you can negotiate superior terms doesn't mean that you should tilt things too much in your favor. I have negotiated terms that were too favorable for us and not favorable enough for the other side, which in turn lead to less interest and bitterness from the partner. Make sure that you negotiate terms that both sides can live with long term or it will bite you in unexpected ways later. 
I read a book about and co-written by  Reginald Lewis, the first black billionaire in the USA, and how he built his empire and when he died, his widow  ran it, the company didn't skip a beat. so they both were equally able to run the company. to bad that he had to die for her to prove herself, but I'm sure their kids are proud of both parents.   

7. Clear Goals

It is crucial in any business partnership for each party to be completely clear on their goals and what they hope to get out of the collaboration. In my experience, partnerships where this is not the case often run into trouble down the road. 
"Ask not what the goals are that will benefit me, instead Ask what are the goals that will benefit both of US. "

8. Skill Set Diversification

Good business partners work well together because they have different skill sets and passions. If you both are good at the same things and like handling the same parts of the business then your company doesn't need both of you! Find someone who complements your skill set and you’ll have a lot less drama because you won’t step on each other’s toes. it's like Good sex which begins with chemistry, that natural attraction and causes passionate desire to want to devour your partner. 

The different between good sex and great sex is not acrobatics in the bedroom, it's about being unselfish. You should always be concerned about your partner's satisfaction first. It's the best kind of competition. And while all this physical activity is taking place there must be a deep connection during sex, not just sweating and jumping up and down. Some people see this kind of bound as almost spiritual. If you've been there you know what I'm taking about...if not, you probably have the wrong partner. So, keep searching, it's a worthwhile goal to reach this level of sexual expression.

Last but not least, great sex is solidified with what I call, yin and yang "The morning after experience". Are you comfortable in her presence or are you in a rush to get away or get rid of her? If you want to chill, have breakfast, then get back in bed, you've had great sex! 

9. Company Culture Alignment

You have to make sure they share your vision and align with your company’s culture. 
Here is where I step off of this ride. Cultural alignment is not the best reason to join someone in a personal venture or even marriage.. it may make you more comfortable but, at a given point the cultural connection can remind you of all the things that is  stagnant,  more of the same becomes dull and very uninteresting. 
break the strings of the long term bondage of too much of the same old thing. 

10. Shared Vision

It’s not about friendship; it’s about leveraging each others strengths. In my opinion, the most important step in evaluating a partnership is ensuring there is a shared vision. Which direction are your headed? treat your partnership  like dancing You are facing each other but also keeping on eye on each  others blind side. Preventing  sneak attacks that can come up behind your partner.

11. Understanding Responsibilities

One of the keys to all partnerships is to lay out responsibilities, ownership and key metrics early and in writing, prior to the business getting off the ground. This allows everyone to then work as a team, be more focused and avoid distractions or disgruntlement later on once the business is growing.

Embrace the ideas of your partner, enhance them if you need to, but don't get into a tug of war of who should do what and who's problem it is to solve whatever. 

When is the best time for him to walk away?

the following in Italic was dropped in Facebook inbox so I'll try and add some insight to the subject of where do you stand with a Married man, who is not happy with his married life.
Let me just say this: " selfishness is Love's demise."

Here is the Scenario:
A Man is married to a woman for more than 10 years. Living in the same house but living separate lives. Man wants a divorce, but thinking of child and expense/losses that a divorce can bring. Man has a serious side-piece. ( more than drive-by sex).

Why do married men stay in bad relationships? When is the best time for him to walk away? Will the side-piece be anything more than just that, a side- piece? What role should she play, during and after the divorce?

Ladies knowledge is power. No one else's scenario equal the situation you are currently dealing with.  Men are like cars, we come in different sizes, models and make and color (foreign and domestic).
women want  men (like me for example ) to answer their  questions like  the ones  above.... assuming men who  have lived a little may have the answers they seek.  The term side-piece ( it is not a compliment) is used in a derogatory fashion by men who are messing around  outside of their marriages. Married men  talk to their boyz about you as the female "in wait," for the guy who is working on  getting his freedom from the commitment, that restricts them from leaving their home, their kids, and yes even their wives who  they might  still  be  having marital relations with. The fact that a woman  thinks that a relation, that  has been going on and on  for   more than 10 years, will ever change is a fool.  He is  having the time of his life.  The best time for him to walk away is when the forms for divorce are signed, stop being  delusional. He had the option to walk away, when he start cheating on his wife with the side-piece (you), but chose to have his slice of fruit cake, as dessert, after he finish eating his home grilled   steak and potatoes with gravy, first. The one thing that should standout is the word "First"... like first option, first on his mind when he leaves your bed, first on his mind when he looks at his finances, first on his mind when he looks at the faces of his kids and sees his features and their mothers features combination.

Having said all that.
I will try and answer the questions  listed above:
- Why do married men stay in bad relationships?  The delusional things that women fool themselves with   all the time, is.Simpleanswer  Women think that men think like women  or have female like emotions, we do NOT..  Married men don't see a safe home situation as "a bad relationship". They see is as an ACE in the hand. Chances are to Him the side-piece is not worth leaving the ACE in the hand for.
-   When is the best time for him to walk away?  I say there is no such thing as the best time for him to walk away.  When he decides to walk away is the only time he will walk away, because divorce filed by husbands are rare when the y are having their cake and their 6 course meals in different sittings. Men will only walk away from everything he has built when he is forced to do so! i.e. almost never voluntarily. Think about how long it's been that he has kept the side-piece dangling on a string like a puppet.
-  Will the side-Piece be anything more than just that, a side- piece?
You have already answered that question for yourself by asking a man that you don't know personally  to answer that question for you. No one else can answer that  question for you but the man you are  messing around with.   No two situations are the same, and no two men think the same (contrary to popular beliefs.)


- What role should she play, during and after the divorce?
Why ask the question of what role should a woman play, when you are being played right now. A divorce has to be filed and the wife has to be served with the paper before there could be a divorce in  progress. And to be thinking  about after the divorce is, premature...until the first steps have been completed.  Her role has already been defined for her. He will let you know if and when it will ever happens.
True story:   I know a guy who's live with a side-piece  other  woman for many decades he  stopped living with  his wife because of "irreconcilable differences."  But he ran to his wife's hospital bed and still pays  her bills and paid for her treatments when she was sick, even though they have lived apart for decades. He  has built a home with the other woman, but he is legally married to his wife and if he dies tomorrow she will have first claim  on his businesses and almost all of  holdings. But if she dies he will keep all of his holding legally and would never have to try and claim what he would loose in a divorce. He never gave anything up legally.   Because he  never filed for a divorce when he walked away. and he never saw the need to file for a divorce (for him to be free)   because he has the best of both Worlds. He can't marry the woman he lives with because he is already married...(great excuse, when the subject comes up)  this is always going to get in the way of this relationship, from ever becoming a legal union.  He helped his current woman build a 3 story house, 2 floor are  rented and they live on the top floor. Why mess things up with a legal filing for a divorce... where assets will have to be  split and other things come into play like infidelity issues etc . Where a Judge (a perfect stranger ) will have to decide what he get's to keep and all that we will have to give up to his wife who is the injured party. His current woman (side-Piece) better term for her is common law wife, is happy with this arrangement because she has her home and 2 floors of rental income that is paying of the mortgage on her land and in her name and he lives with her. she does not need to fight for his devotion. he has granted her her wishes already . Now this is a win win, win for all three of them. They have lived with this situation for decades and see no need to change it.
I hope I have answered the questions . If  not you can always check out divorcecourt.com maybe you'll  find the answers you are looking for there, from the many strange situations out there.