Why Women Need Men Who Challenge Them and Visa Versa!

Why Women Need Men Who Challenge Them 

I challenge you that I can  have the most glasses of this  wine!

By Michael Baisden.    It’s easy to become defensive when you hear the word “Challenge.” Too often it’s associated with going into battle or drama. But to be challenged also means to be stimulated intellectually or to invite someone to do better. Unfortunately, not many women meet men who challenge them in that way.
For the past 30 years women have been making huge strides financially and educationally. They read more than men, they graduate at a higher rate, they start more businesses, they travel more, and they purchase more homes. With so many advantages it makes you wonder, what do women need men for? The honest answer is, they don’t!
I believe a man’s true value is not in being needed. In today’s society men should be more focused on being respected. But how can we as men demand respect when we aren’t bringing anything unique to the table? Most mature women are financially stable; they have academic and book sense; and over 80% of them are holding down the household as single parents. Although a man’s help would be appreciated, for many established women, money and help with the kids is not a “NEED”!
What mature and intelligent women long for is quality companionship and stimulating conversation with a real man who leads by example. As a young man I was told, “Nothing turns a woman on more than watching a man handle his business.”
But just as a team is only as strong as its weakest link, a woman’s development is arrested when she’s not partnered with a man who offers the perspective of a strong man she respects.
My responsibility as a man is to bring my resources to the table — intellectual, financial, life experience — and challenge my partner to do the same. At some point, we will have a difference of opinion on a number of issues, but it is through those differences that we challenge one another to grow! As a man, it’s not about being in charge or being right, it’s about making my partner feel secure and challenging her to see the world through the eyes and mind of her man.
The challenge for us men is to gain more knowledge and insight through reading, traveling and listening, to broaden our perspective so that an intelligent woman will respect our point of view enough to listen to what we have to say. We can’t beat our chests and raise our voices believing this is the way to lead. We must lead by our example and strength of character. Only an insecure man would expect a woman to submit to his way of thinking when he hasn’t accomplished anything with those thoughts. And only a woman who is a fool would follow a man who talks a good game but doesn’t have anything to show for it. As I said earlier, most women don’t need a man, but they definitely want a good one … and a strong one.
To put it frankly, a woman can go to the sperm bank to make a baby or use a sex toy to give herself an orgasm, but they’ll never create a device that can stimulate a woman’s mind like engaging in a conversation with a man of depth and intelligence.

two heads are better than one!

My perspective: We are living  in the 21st Century, things have changed significantly  between men and women.... gender rolls are no longer what they were in the 20th Century , as we look at history we will note that things also change from the 19th century where the most progress was made in the 20th century in terms of gender rolls. I often tell women who would see me as someone who thinks somewhat differently.... that I grew up around  strong women (my mother, aunts, and older female cousins) were women of the 1990(s)mentally,  way back when other  women let their men take the lead and they just followed.  

 We have to deal with  Back to back challenges.

This  was not the case in my family, so I knew strong women, who were self-starters from the days when I was a child. My view was of go-getters who consulted their husbands about their initiatives,  but didn't wait for the men to lead them in any ventures. I saw Strong women who felt they could stand on their own two feet, so this  concept  is  not new to me. They were resourceful, I learned to respect women as equals and sometimes even superior minded, never would I put my foot down and insist that things had to go my way , I would always find ways to compromise. If she had an idea that needed some additional analysis and even suggestions I would give my support  freely, even challenging  her to think out-side of the box. Lending a helping hand got me better results than being selfish and wanting just what I wanted, and not caring about her needs and wants. Living  on a two way street, is where most people have to live in terms of relationships. So if you can't deal with two streams of mental traffic... you'd better get on an one-directional road were you are going one way only... never encountering anyone who is doing something different from you. The challenges are great in a World that is changing way to fast to keep up. Challenges are becoming a greater force that divide couples... so two people who collaborate have a better chance of making it and are often a mayor force to deal with. The Obama couple is prime example. 

Loida and Reginald Lewis.

I really like the story about  Reginald Lewis and his wife Loida.  He build an empire and then died from brain cancer, his widow Loida ran the company to greater success because she was his equal and partner when he started.. initially  his subordinate in a wall street law-firm, but in the end his successor. So when you are challenging each other to be  the best you can be you are building a solid foundation.  A foundation  where the other partner  can take over and enhance your dreams if or when the time comes!         

Your emotions flows over! Especially during Valentines day!

I just need to STOP these critics from interrupting my thoughts.

This is my version of Think like a man, just learn to put things in compartments and address then in order of importance!
Do you want to know what's the worst noise in the world ?  It trumps the high-pitched squeal of an old-school dial-up modem, tires screeching on a dry pavement and any drill you encounter at the dentist’s office.  I’m talking about your inner critic. Deeper than any audible sound, your inner critic is that devil of a voice that cuts to your core and jumps into your consciousness at a moment’s notice, reminding you that you might have tackled this small feat, but you butchered that big one, royally. The voice stands at attention, ready to wreak havoc, birth fear, doubt, and loathing, just because!  And it needs to die.

But chances are, you may not be able to send your inner critic to an early grave.  You are human, after all, and you’re equipped with this thing called a brain, replete with firing synapses that will pop off whenever they damn well please.  Which basically means that it’s kind of impossible to control when an inner critical thought occurs.  Short of magically acquiring that What Women Want ability so you can hear other people’s thoughts and take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone, there’s a method that’s way more feasible (and less cumbersome) to find some peace of mind.

It’s called the clap-back.  Not a new invention, but if you need some pointers and helpful tips, see Amber Rose, Rihanna or Tamar Braxton for inspiration.  I think a lot of people with harsh inner critics  give that voice way too much power.  Whenever it strikes,you’re like helpless children being reprimanded by an authority figure.  And as children, most of us knew not to talk back to an adult, lest we incur serious consequences.

 Bitchelle you are driving me crazy!

Your inner critic is a mean S-O-B.  It always tells you that You're not good enough. But you should have learned to combat it by pretending the voice is coming from someone else entirely.  Clapping back to yourself, after all, is another form of negative criticism.  But imagine if a complete stranger or your worst enemy were targeting you in the same way as your inner critic You  wouldn’t tolerate anyone calling you incapable, untalented, dimwitted, unworthy or any of the other lies Bitchelle hurls at you.  Yes, give your inner critic a name.
You should  also learned to pick your battles.  You can’t respond to everything your inner critic says because 1)You have better, more important things to do and 2) some insect bites sting more than others.  Therefore, whenever You declare “challenge!” to your inner critic, it’s a strategic move.  It’s like building muscle memory. You should be  mindful of the thoughts that offend or impede you the most, you should  choose to tackle those.  Everything else is categorized as fodder.  Slowly chipping away at the thoughts that consume you will guarantee that they’ll eventually turn to dust.  Dust, you can sweep away.

Girls travel well together and support each other. Right???

You should also make a point to share whenever possible.  Your friends are your lifelines, and You know you can turn to them for support and kindness when your inner critic gets the best of you. They may not always be well equipped or willing to tell you what you think you need to hear, however.  But you should..... don’t fault them for that.  Then again, that’s not really the point.  Getting the negativity out, getting outside of your head is what matters.  Doing so can help neutralize those beyond harsh inner criticisms.  And when you share your innermost thoughts with your friends, you will always end up laughing, uplifting and comforting one another.

Hug yourself and remember
how it felt the last time you were  with someone special.

Another method you should  utilize to combat your inner critic is to drown it with positive thoughts.  That can include quotes, upbeat music or simply recalling the past and how you got through a difficult situation.Self-criticism is one thing.  It can help you make necessary adjustments and changes for the better, whether in your personal or professional life.  But an inner voice takes criticism to a mean girl level.  You should  recognize that enough hurdles exist outside of yourself.  Having an abusive inner critic makes those hurdles all the more challenging, and life is too damn short to be at war with yourself.  So you will chip away one day at a time and strive to live your best life despite the inner voice that suggests otherwise.

Happy Valentine's day!

Critical emotions will never be governed by rationality, and no matter how dark and sad it ended up being, great positive thoughts are still the closest thing to a flawless whole that you have been a part of, and should be again. After some time, your heart will slowly reform, coming back stronger.Time will pass and the darkness will eventually subside. After all, darkness is, in reality, the absence of light. New light will come, and you’ll wait in hopes that new love can take the place of the old – which it can.

Good Women vs. Bad Apples

Good Women vs. Bad Apples, By Michael Baisden

Good women aren’t appreciated as much these days. The obnoxious ones who show their ass get all the attention.
It must be hard as hell to be a good woman nowadays. With so much attention being given to women who are loud, ignorant, and showing half their asses, it can be difficult for a quality woman to stand out. I’m certain that many of you have had your share of attacks and negative comments. Being beautiful and intelligent is bad enough but add class and integrity and you almost become alien.
Now, throw in a sprinkle of open mindedness and ambition and now you’ve just gone too far. Not only are you a threat to other women but an insecurity issue for most men.
It’s not that men can’t appreciate a good woman or that they‘re insecure or intimidated. The truth is most men don’t want to put in the work or be accountable to a good woman, and who could blame them with so many desperate women lowering their standards just to have a warm body to lay next to at night.
All I can tell you ladies is never settle and maintain your high standards. There are plenty of men like myself that prefer to climb to the top of the tree to pick our fruit rather than pick up those bad apples off the ground.

Have a great day and always keep your head up! In my eyes you will always be Queens but it takes a King to see you. ~Michael Baisden

My perspective on  the good(s) and Bad(s) of the good woman

She’s nice and dependable:

Let me call him and make sure he has eaten well today!

Kind of like your Labrador, this woman  will never let you down. Think of her as the Topanga to your Cory. If you’re in a bad mood, she’ll be there to do anything in her power to cheer you up. She actually cares about your feelings, and your happiness is important to her.
She rarely bitches at you just because you’re a man. If you messed up, she probably won’t flip out, rather she’ll have a nice wholesome conversation with you about how to fix the situation. She’s is the mediator of your relationship.

Low Mileage:
The best part about good women is the low number of notches on the bed post. Don’t get me wrong, they are semi-experienced; it’s just that their experience won’t make your pee burn. Also, since she hasn’t had sex with that many guys, she consequently won’t have that many men to compare you to, so even if you suck in bed, you’ll be alright.

Makes a good wife, mother, best friend:

Oooh he is perfect just like you!

The typical good woman is nurturing, down to earth, and responsible. Whether men like to admit it or not, our DNA is biological programmed to find a mate with which we  can settle down and start a family. Good women generally come from good families.

In many cases we want to carry on these good morals and values into a family of our own. She can also be your best friend. She truly enjoys your company, misses you when you’re gone, and showers you with attention when you’re home … this gets back to the Labrador theory I mentioned before.

OK enough with the delusional fantasies....!

Now for the bad(s) of the good woman:

She’s vanilla:
Life with a good woman  can be as exciting as watching your hair grow. They generally tend to be homebodies and like to curl up with a good book. Although this is alright behavior for a rainy Sunday, it transcends into weekend habits as well. Think Katie Holmes circa Dawson’s Creek when all she wanted to do was sit by that shitty creek, cuddling underneath the stars.

I wonder what his reaction would be if he saw me this way!

She chooses comfort:
She often chooses comfort over fashion. The hair is pulled back in a practical way. She wears very little make-up. She forgoes the high heels and sexy dresses for sweats that she feels “herself” in. She wears underwear that can be used for hand gliding; and the list goes on.
Basically, she just doesn’t put any effort into keeping her man, excited about her. Don’t get me wrong, every guy loves a woman that can be herself around him. However, sometimes it’s necessary to throw away sensibility and trade it in for sexy. <smirking>

She’s boring in bed:
Like I’ve said before, good women typically have low mileage. Although this may seem perfect for you on some nights, it may also come back to bite you on the ass. For example, there’s a good possibility that you’re going to have to be the one to constantly initiate sex which can get repetitive and boring.
Chalk it up to inexperience or lack of desire, but good  women tend to leave the manliest part of a man very unfulfilled. In which case, he will probably start to stray towards the bad girl with the nipples peeking through her shirt and the long wraparound legs.

Don't lock yourself out of heaven!

I will write about The good(s) of the bad girl in another blog post. Tune back in! 

YOUR SECOND MARRIAGE MIGHT BE BETTER THAN YOUR FIRST

What did your divorce teach you about marriage? How will this helped you the second time around?

So your first marriage ended. While it was unfortunate, you decided that it would not hold you back from finding the love you deserve. As fate would have it, you eventually meet someone new, and while you may or may not have been expecting it, the two of you got to a point where neither of you were able to imagine life without each other. You begin to see yourself building a life with this person and before you knew it, you are on the road to the altar. Here’s why your second marriage will probably be better than your first.

You already know what to expect

Chances are that when you entered your first marriage, you were in your 20(s) with no real idea of what to expect. Now that you’ve been down the aisle and back, there will be less surprises. “Marriage requires work” is no longer a lofty concept to you. You know firsthand what this means and you’re ready to handle the tasks ahead. You know that there will be both good and bad days and you’re ready to embrace the good and tolerate the bad.

You know how to choose your battles

In the past, you were more likely to overlook things that you probably shouldn’t have. However, you now know how detrimental it is to stay quiet when you know good and well that you should speak up. You are also able to recognize when you’re nitpicking and you know when to let things go.

You already know the pain of divorce

You’re well aware of how dreadful divorce can be and you’re committed to giving this second marriage your all so that you never find yourself in that place again. You’ve learned not to allow your ego to take over during those difficult moments. You’ve learned to silence that tiny little voice that says “Hey, you don’t have to take this.” Because you’ve been through a bitter divorce, you recognize that while working through this marital issue is difficult, it’s nothing in comparison to divorce proceedings.

You did your work 

You took the time to reflect on your first marriage and what went wrong. You’ve accepted what happened as well as the role you played in the dissolution of that relationship. And most of all, you’ve allowed yourself to heal.

You know what you want

You learned from your first marriage what you don’t want in a husband or a wife. This unfortunate but life-changing experience helped you to become a better judge of character. You’re honest with yourself about your desires and needs as well as what you can and can’t live without. Perhaps you thought that you preferred traditional marriage roles the first time around, but experience has taught you otherwise.

The second time around might be  better than the first time!

Creeping On The J-O-B: Work Place Affairs

While the nighttime may be the right time, the daytime has become prime time…for fooling around. The workplace has become the “hot spot” for infidelity. Every statistic shows that the J-O-B is the number one place where affairs begin, and although many companies have strict policies against fraternizing with co-workers, that hasn’t stopped the avalanche of affairs and inappropriate flirting.
For the first time in American history, female workers represent fifty percent of the workforce, occupying every position from secretary to CEO. This reality puts men and women in direct contact with one another on a daily basis. In the morning they board crowded buses and trains together. And for eight long hours they work in cramped office spaces, brushing up against one another by accident and by choice. It was only a matter of time before the fireworks began. A cordial invitation to have a quick lunch passionately erupts into an indecent proposal to have a quickie for lunch. All the while, the cheater is getting paid

happy hour is so much fun, let make this our time!

There should be no mystery as to why extramarital affairs are flourishing in the workplace. It is the ideal place for the cheater who are compatible, desirable, and accessible. Unlike the club scene, the workplace allows for a more gradual progression towards intimacy; there is no rush. In this environment the cheating man and woman to appear more like scavengers, leisurely waiting for the slow death of an existing relationship so they can swoop down like a vulture and pick up the scraps of the emotionally torn victim. They are great listeners, too, especially if it’s a negative story about the woman’s husband or the man’s girlfriend. They mold themselves into a reliable shoulder to cry on; never realizing the support he or she is after is offering is the form of her vagina and his erect penis.
Workplace affairs are mutually pursued involvements where both parties are generally upfront about their marital status and living arrangements. The woman complains that her husband doesn’t appreciate her, and the man swears his existing relationship is on the rocks. However, one or both of them is usually lying. Most cheaters know that honesty isn’t always the best policy. The trick is to bend the truth a bit until the woman’s heart is firmly secured in the trap. How many times have you heard the lie, “My woman doesn’t understand me” or “My wife is married but I’m not”? And if all else fails, he’ll give her his best line, “I’m just waiting for the kids to get older then I’m getting a divorce,” when he knows damn well he’s not going anywhere with three kids to support and a mortgage to pay.

The real question is, do women really fall for these tired lines? Or do they simply accept them in order to justify the relationship in their own minds? The cheating man doesn’t care one way or the other. His only objective is to relax her defenses long enough to reel her in emotionally. Any lie will do.  ~ Michael Baisden

Hmmm just my type!

My perspective: this is NOT new (men have been doing this for ages, but women are now doing it with more regularity to) . This not a disclaimer or  judgement on anyone....I met my first wife  on the job, I had the most affair with women I worked with ( OK I was a player before I got married). I can still recall the women, who thought that I represented the guy they wanted, and did not hesitate to start dating me.  I was the dude that flew into cities like Atlanta, Chicago, Denver, Washington D.C.  from "The big Apple," as a consultant  I wore suites  and was a smooth N.Y-er.... But I was also very superficial at that point in time in my life. I know I could not do all that I did back then right  now, actually I  wouldn't  even want to do any of it today. These affairs were the  case before women were 50% or more  of the corporate work force. So it was even better when the numbers weren't as great as they are now, a man got to picked out of the best of the best, and women knew that they had to grab the man they wanted before he picked someone else. Women today know they have  to compete with each other but some may choose not to compete. Some are stepping back and still thinking like the women of the 20th  century , where they would be picked by "Prince charming" while the other women are just putting it  out there and letting a guy know he is her choice, he just has to be willing, to fulfill some of her needs.....  
But when  people are married it becomes a messy situation. some jobs and careers are known to create  perfect grounds for extramarital relations. those kinds of professions simply make women more likely to stray. It is in fact almost impossible to see a woman who stays faithful when doing any of those tricky jobs where promotions and cut -throat competitions, is in play .  Of course, it does depend on the women involved but a significant number of women apparently wander away from morality and fidelity when doing some of these jobs. There is all round pressures since everyone engages in lascivious activities.  So, if your spouse in doing any of these types of jobs, where the guy that fits her requirements,  then it is most probable she might be  making out with some man who isn't you.   
I will not list the jobs because this could cause "Murders at the Work places."

What would you do if you found out your partner had cheated? Most people would react by cursing out their partner, packing up their belongings and storming out the door. In the case of married couples, the decision might be to drag the cheating spouse through court and make their lives a living hell! Both reactions are typical — when someone has been hurt and humiliated so badly, sometimes all you want is to get revenge! But those reactions are based purely on emotions and can sometimes multiply the issues you already have, especially if there are children involved. I realize that betrayal is painful. It’s hard to imagine that the person you loved and trusted could do such a thing. But after you calm down, you must consider the real-life implication of what you do next. There are factors that must be taken into consideration, such as making sure your finances are in order, keeping a roof over your head, minimizing the impact on your children, if there are any, and most importantly, assuring your emotional wellness.

And the best way to “get well” is not by confronting your cheating partner — that should wait until you calm down — but by doing some self-evaluation! Start by asking yourself, “What responsibility do I have in what happened? What can I learn from this? And what’s the best way to move forward that will serve everyone’s best interests, especially those of the children?” I already know what you’re thinking: It’s easier said than done! But whoever said this was going to be easy? And the toughest challenge in the process of moving forward is accepting that although everyone is responsible, no one is to blame.
By Michael Baisden

This could breath new life into my faith of new beginnings.

My perspective on :  Picking up the pieces after an affair!  Some  folks just want the pain to stop.. so the logical thing is to do is end it. Hate the cheater! Kick the person out of you life forever! But are you just reacting to images in your head? Or  is there proof positive on the table. 
Someone new could make you smile again, just by hearing his voice. a  voice-mail left just for you   could have you listening to it over and over, an email could have you opening it and reading it multiple times..... Just  simple msgs indicating you are though about. Makes you  check daily to see if a new one is left. 

A tuxedo is not just another suit.. If a man wears one he seriously trying to tell you you're special and worthy of him getting all dressing up . Don't Look any further!

Life After Divorce: Dating Nightmares!

A  Michael Baisden post on  facebook.
When I began writing this chapter in my book, Raise Your Hands If You Have Issues, it was supposed to be a short chapter but after receiving so many responses on this topic I realized I could have written an entire book! Now, fellas, I know we have our challenges. Some women can be a little high-strung, clingy and combative at times but as I wrote in the previous chapter, I don’t know any man who would trade places with what women have to endure on the dating scene today. According to the women I know personally and my fans, it’s a real nightmare out there! Or as a woman so dramatically put it, “It’s hellish!”
When I divorced over 20 years ago, I remember being excited about being on my own again. I had all these ideas about what I was going to do with my new found freedom. I was with my wife for five years; so I can only imagine what it must be like to find yourself single again after 10, 15 or 20 years or more. When I blogged about it online, one woman described it as “walking into the Twilight Zone!” But the other comments were even more dramatic, especially when I asked women to describe how men and the dating scene had changed since they were single many years ago.

Are you ready to get out of here!
My place or yours?

Gwendolyn wrote: I’m just getting back out there after being married 29 years. (Yes, I got married young.) It’s been a lot of work. And guys are so different. And the game is just corny. Bring back the real brothers!!!!
Consuelo wrote: Men don’t want to date anymore. They tell you their name and they are ready to have sex. If they see it’s not going to happen, they move on to the next one. What happened to being friends first or just getting to know a person?

 "Calgon, take me away!"

Alison wrote: I guess because of the ratio being 10-1 women to men, guys are less likely to put in the effort or stay too long with one person if he’s not getting exactly what he wants. And with technology moving faster than the speed of light, we’ve grown accustomed to everything moving fast, even relationships. But really, if you want something that lasts, it requires time. I guess I’m just old-fashioned.
I swear I wish I could just get married again and be taken out of my misery. Being single is not what it used to be. Calgon, take me away! ~ Michael Baisden

Slow down dude  don't  get too aggressive!

My perspective: while the above is mostly about the new Single lady after a divorce. I will have to agree that life after a divorce for women is tough, and for the most part tougher than for men, simply because will have to become hunters again. However it's no walk in the park for Men either, as Micheal Baisden  noted  he found freedom after being married for only 5 years. So he has no idea what is is like for a divorce man who as been married  twice, three times, four times or five times as long as he has been. Let me try and put a different spin on this. Men are usually creatures of habit, the longer we are in a relationship (marriage)  the longer we get into  habits of comfort. So after a divorce, that followed 10, 15, 20, 25 years of marriage, a complete re-programming has to take place. All your memories and reference points, of back in the day as a g single man, do not work in the new dating world. A guy has to get his hunting gear together to get out in the  dating world, with zero relevant experience. Your experience is mostly of being a married man, that is the most relevant time frame you can fully recall. So do you try and use that experience? Or do you act like a player with old out dated  skills.... Frankly  none of the above will work because as a guy, who is past your prime, you make all the right move, (you think will work)  and still  get rejected... the ratio may be in someone's  favor 10- 1,  ( as Alison wrote) but not YOUR so this can be debated .... there are never 10 beautiful available women just waiting for you... "Mr. Just back on the open market."   Depending on where your live, It's the complete opposite in Juneau Alaska for example, it maybe likely  in Atlanta Ga.. You have to know what you are looking before  you get  out there on the hunt again. Or you will become  prey! This applies to both male and female. We all need a partner that have the same interest|. So be inspired to seek compatibility first!  For example: if she like breakfast in bed, and you like to cook... start by doing what she likes. If she like to cook, let her feed you. However if neither of you are willing to do for each other, what each of you like, you might have to keep  moving on  to next possibility, because you will not be successful in changing anyone who do not want to change.  Good luck  searching, divorce people are a dime a dozen and you are just one more...dime slightly tarnished. 

There are still some gentlemen in World,
if you can't find him on the right list of your items  try  writing another list!
He might have singing skills "I'm  coming back"  only in the shower, after you meet him .

HAS YOUR MAN EARNED YOUR RESPECT?

The Webster’s Dictionary defines respect as: to take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; hence, to care for; to heed; to consider worthy of esteem; to regard with honor.
It is clear that no man can be the king of his castle without respect. If his woman won’t submit to his authority then how can he move the family forward as the leader? Now, keep in mind, I’m only referring to good men, not the cheaters, not the players, and not the irresponsible boys masquerading as men. With that being said, why are some women so adamantly against the word submission? It does not mean to abuse. It merely implies that a woman should yield to her man, to comply with the decision he has made. The responsibility of the woman is to choose a man whose decision-making she trusts in the first place, and to choose a man who is wise enough to consult her before making important decisions. But once her choice is made, both people cannot have the last word. Both people cannot lead! Someone has to submit!
It’s amazing to me that on one hand these same women who are dead set against submission have no problem submitting to the pastor at church or their bosses at work. They are careful to use a respectful tone and to comply with whatever direction they are given by these men; how-ever, the man who has committed to them as a life partner often gets less respect than these men who have no stake whatsoever in her well-being. These are also the same women who are shocked when they discover their man is cheating with a less attractive and less educated woman. Well, guess what? She may not be beautiful or have a degree but she understood how to talk to him and how to treat him. Equality may sound idealistic but the reality is we all have a role to play; my advice for women is to find yours and stop picking and choosing when to play wife. ~ Michael Baisden

Excerpt from the book, Never Satisfied: How And Why Men Cheat!

My perspective is based on experience:

I like to think about  waterfalls when I'm  trying to figure out how some things happen and why. When you have one stream flowing into a pool. that pool will only receive water from that one source. However if you have multiple streams as sources of water  flowing into a pool, lake, pond  you have  elements being brought from various sources, whatever each stream pick up along the way it drops into the pool of water ( other folks experiences.... good or bad). People often become a product of the sources that supply them. for example: your lady hears from her girlfriends, sisters and even brothers all that is wrong with their relationships, hears from her guy all that is going wrong with her  relationship with him .. sometimes he might tel her what is "right "but most often it's negative feedback (complaints). What she hear in the beginning was sweet compliments  but after a short while it changes. She combines this with all that she gets from reality shows, Divorce court... and other negative source of energy flowing into her pool. 
The R-e-s-p-e-c-t    she had for her guy (husband , lover or boyfriend ) starts to change because of the negative energy flowing that has cumulatively created a toxic environment.. No matter how you think she should be respectful for all that you do for her...... the negativity that flows into her head is more consistent than the positive that the relationship started out with. Think about these things next time you say or do something that might make her react  "Negatively."  

  
Think about what you will do for LOVE. You should Try everything  for Love and you don't give up!