Somethings that made me think hmmmm!

 Psychology Facts ,  when you are in a relationship?

The music is titled " you and I"

 

1. Your favorite song is likely associated with an emotional event.
You and someone else, this is,why it's our song.

2. Music impacts your perspective.
This one seems kind of obvious! A study at the University of Groningen showed that music has a dramatic impact on your perception.

3. The more you spend on others, the happier you are. REALLY!
According to various studies. Be sure to give plenty this holiday season! You'll feel great.

4. Spending money on experiences instead of stuff also makes you happier.
Collect memories not things, OK take that vacation trip instead of buying a fur coat yeah hmmm!

5. Kids are more high strung today than the average psych ward patient in 1950.
Which is pretty scary but not surprising. About half the human population now suffers anxiety, depression, or a sort of substance abuse. Sign of the times.

6. Certain religious practices lower stress.
“The American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook of Mood Disorders” shows that people who engage in meditation and prayer religiously are less stressed out. They turn their issues over to a higher power.

7. Money does buy happiness, but only up to $75,000 a year.
For the average American, $75k a year buys happier lives. It liberates you from poverty and gets you what you need in in life. BUT if you add just one extra Zero anywhere in that number you happy life changes..you can decide if you will be happier or stressfull.

8. Being around happy people makes you happier, or jealous that you don't have a reason to be as happy as they are.

This should come as no surprise.

9. 18 to 33 year olds are the most stressed out people on earth.
Family, education, work, it can all be pretty stressful if you don't manage it well.

10. Convincing yourself you slept well tricks your brain into thinking it did.
Thus giving you more energy. They called it “placebo sleep” and  "fake energy".

11. Smart people underestimate themselves and ignorant people think they’re brilliant.
It’s called the Dunning Kruger Effect, it’s real, and just go on Facebook and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

12. When you remember a past event, you’re actually remembering the last time you remembered it.
Alright, that one blew the hell out of my mind. This is why our memories fade and distort over time.

13. Your decisions are more rational when thought in another language.
A university of Chicago study showed that Korean citizens who thought in foreign languages reduced their overall bias. So become multi-lingual.

We want what we think we want

I will raise you up if I can

Being Too Focused on Looks Hurts Black Women
Being Too Focused on Looks Hurts Black men


  this subject matter affects us  all indirectly.    There has been much discussion on social media about the unrealistic standards that Black women have as far as their expectations in men... and vise versa.  Too be clear this isn’t about a man’s financial status.   Most men don’t have a problem with women wanting a man to at least have a job and resources.  Most Black men wouldn’t complain about Black women dealing with bums otherwise, unless they want that woman.   The unrealistic standard I’m talking about has to do with a man’s looks.   Many Black women are not satisfied with a man unless he is tall, handsome, muscular.  The men who do not visually meet this standard are generally rejected or ignored.

To be clear looks do matter.   I have always thought that.  I’ve also said that looks have to be balanced by other factors such as character and personality.   Also the reasons that many Black women’s standards are considered unrealistic is that while they may want a tall, handsome, in shape man, the women themselves may be not too great looking or overweight or both.   It’s realistic for a tall, beautiful, in shape woman to want an equally attractive mate.  Fair exchange is no robbery.  I don’t want to focus on that in this blog post.   There are other things to think about.

The issue with many Black women focusing too much on looks is that it is rare that they get the satisfaction that they are looking for be emotionally, spiritually, economically, and quiet as it is kept sexually.   Ultimately when a woman chooses a man she does so for the benefit she believes she will receive from him.    She doesn’t get the benefit and instead of dealing with a more average looking man who may be able to satisfy her on myriad levels she simply looks for another pretty boy.   This actually creates a dynamic where she creates a vicious cycle of rejection, causing dejection.

Close your eyes
and feel the K.I.S.S

The vicious cycle of rejection works like this.   Black women have their strongest desire for what I’ll term Pretty Men when they are young.  This is usually from puberty until their thirties although I have met many Black women in their fifties and sixties with a desire for Pretty Men.    What happens is that while the sistas are rejecting the average men, the Pretty Men are dogging them out.   Most women have negative experiences with the Pretty Men but like drug addicts they keep going back for another hit.  Instead of tapping their arms they tap their thighs.   Now some women learn their lesson and decide to give a different type of man a chance.   That’s when many women get rejected on a difference level.

Two general things happen with many of the average men that Black women reject when they are young.   The first thing is ironic in a way.   Many men who look average as a 25 year old look like hunks when they 35 years old.   Many men will hit the gym and develop more muscular physiques which actually will affect the structure of their faces as well.   Couple that with maybe a different haircut and that average man has women thinking they found another Pretty Man.   The problem is that the man who developed his looks remembers when Black women rejected him.   At that point he will either reject the Black women he encounters or if he deals with them he will dog them.    Many men don’t become players until their thirties.

A second thing that happens is that the man may not develop his looks but he will have developed the other aspects of his personality.   He will have developed his emotional maturity, his character, his economic standing, and as many women can attest, he can sexually satisfy a woman.   Funny thing though, some women may still reject him because he isn’t their (dream) Pretty Man.  The women choose style over substance.    Another factor is that like the Pretty Man, the average looking man with his stuff together may reject these women because they lack substance.

You will not know who she is... until you share the same toilet.

• Skip to 

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.

He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover.
She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.

She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

No man can resist this body

The man is impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.

She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmo’s for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

No man can resist a thoughtful woman

Again, the man is impressed

The third invests the money in the stock market.

She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.

She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

No man can resist a woman who plans ahead!

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.

Guess which lady he choose to marry?

Needless to say I copied this story. No women ( I hope)..... smart or not .....will see much value in a man who test her with money and checks out her spending intentions as a final  test. And no man, with good intentions, will be stringing 3 women   (competing against each other)   along... to find "the one.." This is the 21st century. And some  folks are still playing these games. What are your values if you .. as a man or women are indulging in game playing...... instead of being REAL with each other.

So Think like a man . . .and act like a.....

He ( a real man ) would,  most likely, marry the most beautiful  and smart-strong one. So who is a Smart Stong Woman, that you know? A Real man  will choose wisely..
 So is it always the man doing the choosing?
Or is it the woman letting him... think..... he is making the choice.

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Think of ways to enjoy your life together

 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life

Tips to how to make the most out of your love life

Get fit and be flexible!

Sex is one of the world’s greatest pleasures. The benefits are enormous
and it’s one of those activities that can be undoubtedly wonderful.

But it is also one of those
activities where when it’s good it’s good and when it’s bad it’s well …bad.
Here are three ways to improve your sex life.

1) Get out of your head.

Sex is quite physical, but it your mind is somewhere else, you won’t enjoy it no matter how good it is.
focus on being in the moment during lovemaking. 
Your mind and your body will thank you for it.

I have to get him out of my head during this massage
Or I might explode after a few touches.

2) Be open to physically and energetically connecting with your partner.

With you I'm born again!

Physical intimacy is an act of vulnerability,
and if you have problems opening up then your level of fulfillment would be very limiting.
Understand that the act is a transformation of energy.
Make sure you engage in it with someone who is worthy of your trust.

Let's play truth or dare!

3) Have fun.

Sex doesn’t have to be serious.
The best lovemaking sessions come when both (or more) parties are completely comfortable and able to be themselves.
Ditch the intense and serious sessions and loosen up a little and watch how your love life improves.

I told you dancing would
Change the mood.

A Soul mate or a Life partner which do you want?

The difference between a soul mate and a life partner

A soul mate is someone whose soul is synchronized with yours and a person who is capable of changing your soul. This is a situation that occurs briefly, meaning you encounter your soulmate he/she changes you and then you separate.

A life partner is a person who you can rely on and makes you feel secure. This is the person you trust, love and respect and you are both aware of each other’s feelings.

Differences between a soul mate and a life partner

Soulmates have a spiritual connection. You feel like you have known that person your entire life even after you just met. A life partner is someone you are attracted to and you are aware of their values.

Soulmates make you experience lots of déjà vu moments, however, in a life partnership you enjoy spending time with your partner regardless of your differences.

Soul mates can get in your mind and know exactly what and why you are thinking. Life partners don’t have the ability to read your mind, however they are your best friend.

Soul mates are aware that their relationship might be short, but they know the love is real and they are comfortable with the uncertainty. Life partners make the relationship stronger by starting a family with the intention of making it permanent.

A toast you and yours.....
 whichever works best for you

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She is Smart and Strong...take notes Fellahs

Unlike her Amazon tribe girlfriends,

The mordern day Smart-STRONG woman is secure enough to acknowledge that she needs a man in her life. Dining alone is not so great!

Heads up fellahs, who have a Smart-Strong woman....... in your cross-hairs !

I made a list of things that WE men should know if we aspire to build a balanced long-lasting relationship with a smart-strong woman. At the end, we have a cute bonus about the little secrets of many strong woman. Knowledge is power.


A strong-smart woman is constantly moving higher. She can’t stay still and wait for her partner to catch up with her intense and dynamic lifestyle. It’s important to move at the same speed and to neither be too pushy nor trail behind. She has an agenda, she knows what needs to be done, and she isn’t afraid of hard work. So just keep up with her pace, and you’ll be all right.


The smart-strong woman is looking for a man who is absolutely independent, both financially and psychologically. He must have a healthy ego and his own opinion, hobbies, and friends. What they are looking for is an equal partner, someone to walk with, not  in front or behind of.

Success is the credo of a strong woman, and she knows that the right attitude is half of success. She tries to cheer up everyone around her and wishes for the same in return. So leave your nagging at the front door, cheer her on toward her goals, and celebrate with her when she gets there.


Strong women have a deep appreciation for their freedom, and they truly appreciate guys who respect that. They can’t stand being restricted in any way and won’t allow them to soar.

If a strong woman is about to make a mistake, her partner should tell her that if she behaves like an asshole he will call her out on it. Because that’s what she needs. An strong woman needs her ego to be checked once in a while, but it should be done with tact and without being a jerk.


These women want to be challenged. They want to compete with their partner intellectually, physically, and emotionally. Every day. Otherwise, they will soon be bored and indifferent. Her partner should be a fighter who is secure enough in his own abilities to be gracious in victory and a good sport in defeat.


Being constantly on top is hard and stressful, and that’s when her partner should know how to make her smile. He is expected to intelligently tease her and be teased back. A strong woman loves sarcasm, but she knows that her man feels very secure about himself and she is not afraid to hurt his feelings a little.



Strong women are still humans. And, more importantly, they are still women. Independent and ambitious, but women. They still want to be loved and to be happy. They love cuddles, and they appreciate it when their partner shows his affection.


Just like any other girl, the strong woman has fears, hopes, and dreams, and she wants to be with a man to whom she can tell all of those things and show how vulnerable she can be. She also prefers to trust her partner rather than control him because she doesn’t want to get bogged down by the drama of a relationship where the man can’t be trusted to be on his own.



The best support for a strong woman during hard times is actually doing something with her. It doesn’t matter if that is a first swimming class or skydiving. The man who not only respects her goals but achieves them with her is the perfect match for a strong woman.



A strong woman realizes that she can’t know everything, but she is trying to know as much as possible. So she needs a partner who will gently teach her something new every day — without lecturing her. For that, her partner should always learn something new by himself and stay informed about everything from atomic energy to cute kitty memes. Kitty memes.... Really? Let's change that to sports...


No matter how strong and independent a woman is, she is still a woman. She can foolishly fall in love at first sight even if the man is far from what she expected. But, being a strong woman, she will still be the one who will make the decision and rule the relationship in her own independent.

How do rumor's get started, they are started by jealous people

 Signs That Will Help You Spot a Jealous Person

It feels quite BAD when you achieve something in your life, and realize that many people around you instead of feeling proud of you, they are jealous. Jealousy makes people show unkind feelings towards us and our success. And, the reason behind jealousy is one’s insecurity and desire to have what you have. But, everyone of us has experienced jealousy at some point in life. Anyway, we are all able to control our feelings, but we cannot control other people’s feelings.

.

Since it is hard to deal with jealousy, below is a list of signs that will help you notice when someone is jealous.

1. The Copycat

When someone wants what you have such as your job, love life, or your dressing style, it makes them copy your behavior, dressing style, or your ideas.
Counter action
 However, you should not let them upset you, instead, encourage them to do their own thing. And, show them that being their own person is what makes them great.

2. False Praise

Jealous people would be the first ones to give you a compliment that seems honest, but they will roll their eyes as soon as you leave. They choose to pretend they are not jealous instead of being not jealous.


Counter action.
In order to show they you are an honest person, you should give them honest compliments for their achievements.

3. Minimize Your Achievements

Jealous people will always find a way to downplay your success no matter how hard you tried to achieve your goal. They may even be rude in doing so. But, you should not pay attention because it will make them talk even more. 
Counter action.
Be humble and strict for your success.

4. They Are Happy For Your Failures

Since these people are not able to be honestly happy about your achievements, they are happy about your failures. When you fail something, they will get the mental satisfaction they need.

5. They Are Not Beside You When You Are Happy

When you are doing well in your life, these people will not be there for you. They may even ignore you as much as they can because they cannot handle your happiness. When you are happy, these people feel less important, and they decide to stay away.

6. They Are Very Competitive

People who are jealous always try to be competitive. That is so because they want to be the most successful, and often, they want to prove superiority. Although it may be tempting, you should refuse unhealthy competition.

7. Gossip About You

These people will always find a place and time to gossip about you. Also, the things they say may be evil and hurtful. You should not allow yourself to focus on their negativity. Instead, you should confront them directly.

Counter action.
When you talk to them seriously about their behavior, they may change it.

8. They Are Always Criticizing

Jealous people see you as a person with many flaws who is just lucky. So, they feel the need to make you aware of that. Even when you have done everything in the best way you could, they will find something that is not right.

9. They Hate You

Although they may not have a reason, jealous people will always hate you. This may be a result of their wish to be like you. Being nice to them will not prevent their hatred.

10. Trying to Destroy Your Relations with Other People

An obsessive, jealous person would try to ruin your relations with people who are especially close to you. In order to make you feel lonely, these people will try to destroy your family relations, love life, and friendships.

11. They Hide Their Jealousy

These people will always hide their true feelings for you. So, when someone is happy for you, they will put on their happy face mask. They may even give you fake compliments.

12. The Worst Advisors

People who are jealous of you will always find a way to advise you on

something that may hurt. Also, they may try convincing you that their option is the best, but you may end up in more trouble.



After all, dealing with jealous people is not an easy task. In fact, they are jealous because of their own low self-esteem, and showing them you are upset will not make the situation better.

So, you should be yourself, confront them when you need to, and try to ignore them and their issues.



I hate her for her success!