Just Let Them Go When It Ends! The END.

 Things To Never Do When Relationships End.


Many believe love is the most wonderful feeling in the world. When you’re in love your on cloud 9, you love your partner with all your heart and things seem perfect, but sometimes as your relationship grows feelings start fading and you no longer feel the same love for your partner. Reality takes over and you see the truth about your partner. Doing silly things from the trauma is normal, but there are a few things you should never do when your relationship ends:

• Beg for love

This is the worst thing you can do. Don’t beg your partner, this shows you are weak and vulnerable. Later on you will probably regret this and hate yourself for doing it. It’s not going to help, if they are going to change their mind they will do it without you begging.

• Stay lonely

Don’t be a loner. Hang out with friends, enjoy parties, go to clubs, play your favorite sport, pursue hobbies, and spend time with your family These things will help you get your happy back, now you are free and single. Let your former partner see you happy.

• Fight your emotions

You may be emotionally shattered, and it’s natural to feel sad, and that’s okay. You may feel mixed emotions like anger, frustration, sorrow, fear, confusion, or relief. Identify your feelings and act wisely, suppressing your emotions will only prolong the grieving process. Have a good cry then don’t cry again over it. When you can’t laugh at the same joke repeatedly why cry for the same sorrow?

• Try to be friends

It’s often said that exes can never really be friends except in extraordinary cases. When you learn your ex is dating or marrying someone else it can be frustrating. Accept that this is a past chapter in your life, start fresh and make it worth having.

• Call/text/e-mail

Calling, texting, e-mailing, and visiting your ex will make you seem desperate. Your ex will laugh at your desperate attempts to get him/her back. This leaves a bad impression and it’s doubtful you will get anything out of it. There’s a chance this gets irritating and he will block you.

• Sacrifice your standards

Moving on is important but not at the cost of your standards. Maintain your standards and don’t rush into another relationship to make your ex jealous. Make sure the next person you are with is who you deserve.

• Keep the gifts!

Ever heard the phrase, “out of sight, out of mind?” Don’t even think of keeping the remnants. You may have exchanged gifts, cards, clothes, or jewelry with your partner during the relationship, this is the time to wrap them up and throw them away. It will help you get over your partner and move on. When you have things that belonged to your ex in front of you, it reminds you of the past and the good times you shared, which can make you sad. This does not apply of you have children together, your children may someday treasure the love that brought them into the world, just put it in storage.

Have a Clear And Simple Policy On EXs

 Trust me.... You Don’t Want to Stay Friends With Your Once significant other!

Most people are not like Kevin Hart when he says, “I don’t have EX’s, I have Y’s. Like Y did I date you?”

You know I'm going to tell
sick jokes about us!

You may think however, maintain a platonic relationship with your former significant other, is a good thing. How amicable is the relationship these days now that you are no longer romantically involved with them?

According to an Associated Press we-TV poll, which was carried out in  November 2015:

– 52%- More than half stayed friends with an ex.
– 45%- Forty-five percent listened to a song that reminded them of an ex.
– 42%-"Forty-two percent admitted to visiting their ex’s Facebook page.
– 36%-Thirty-six percent had ex-sex.
– 34%-Just over a third tried but failed to stay friends with an ex.
– 13%-Thirteen percent continued to stay under the same roof as their ex, whereas the same percentage went on holiday with them.

Interestingly, in the same poll:

– 60%-Just under 6 in 10 said it was not worth the trouble in staying friends with an ex.
– 32%-Thirty-two percent stated that their feelings get in the way of starting over with someone else.

Those are the statistics, but what do the scientists say on the matter?

PSYCHOLOGISTS REVEAL WHY YOU DON’T WANT TO STAY FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX

I'm the real Mrs. TRUMP.

Basing their article on the findings of an Oakland University study, the Daily Mail newspaper in the UK has affirmed that “while keeping an ex as a friend may not be the most practical option, the main reasons people wanted to stay friends was because their ex was reliable, trustworthy or if there was a strong sentimental attachment.” It adds, “For men, pragmatism and sexual access were rated slightly more important than for women, on average…”. The plot thickens somewhat, with darker personality traits brought to the forefront, “which include elements of narcissism, pyschopathy, and Machiavellianism – they were more likely to choose practicality and the chance of hooking up” as to why those traits want to remain friends with an ex.

Due to their experience in the field, experts are calling for people not to continue seeing an ex. Pyschologist Juliana Breines stated that those who remain friends have not broken their dependency from the broken relationship, which can open up more of the same negative feelings towards that person. So what are we supposed to do? Relationship expert Lindsay Kriger thinks exes should be completely deleted from our lives, where you should have a bigger divide between the two of them than the USA and the USSR during the Cold War. Delete, block, ignore, get a new number. Rinse, wash, repeat.

I can't believe my friends set me up
on a blind date with my Ex.

Here are some quotes from other experts:

Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.
– Paulo Coelho

I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.
– Tony Robbins

Sometimes people let the same mistake make them miserable for years when they could just say “So what?” That’s one of my favourite things to say: “So what?”
– Andy Warhol

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
– Steve Jobs



I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no-one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
– Marilyn Monroe

What does all this mean? It means we should steer clear of the ex like vampires should keep away from garlic..

A final personal note: I   made it easier for both of us... I left the state and I'm 1,300 miles away... so we don't run into each other UNEXPECTEDLY OR otherwise, except for when I visit our two grown sons, and she comes  by either of their homes when I'm visiting.

She is going through stuff that we men do not fully understand

Why is she just crying for no reason
I just don't get it...
should I say or do something?

The Signs men may not know  we should look for... she may be  Losing her True Self.


She's indirectly telling you some or all of the following, or showing you.

1. She is Feeling unhappy most of the time

If She is suppressing her true self, the negative emotions will come up to the surface no matter how hard she tries to control them. Pay attention to her emotions, because if she feels unhappy most of the time it can be a sign that there is a problem that you may not be aware of. If you are not satisfied with the person you are and your life it may be a sign that you should make certain changes. In order to become true to yourself you should first admit and acknowledge your feelings and emotions.

2. She's Not feeling comfortable around most people

The way she interact with other people is another indicator that she is not being her true self. Feeling uncomfortable around people so much that you cancel plans too often could indicate that you should think about the people you keep in your life. If they are not the reflection of your true self, you should first get to know yourself on an intimate level. If you don’t, you will stay stuck among people you don’t enjoy spending time with.

3. She's frequently judging other people

The things we don’t like about ourselves are the usually the first things we notice in other people. This often leads to judging people. If you are unhappy with yourself as a person you will never be able to like someone else. Getting rid of the hatred and judgement you feel for yourself will help you stop judging other people without a particular reason.

4. She''s not valuing herself

Being aware of your true value is a sign that you are in touch with your soul and the truth within. You are the person you spend most of the time with, so learn how to truly love yourself. Once you discover your true value you will also be able to value other people.

5. She's seeking acceptance

You can’t always get approval of other people for everything you say and do. Instead of desperately searching for approval, you should just look to yourself for validation. Expecting acceptance from others means that you don’t feel prepared and able to make your own decisions. Try to listen to your instincts and make decisions without waiting for another opinion.

6. She's displaying negative emotions a bit too often

If negative emotions prevail the positive ones it means that you are suppressing your true self. You can only become positive once you accept yourself and you learn how to love and feel compassion. Getting rid of the negative emotions will help you connect more with your true self.

7.she's not expressing herself authentically

In most cases, we have the freedom of expressing our opinion whenever we think we should. The world is full of varieties such as strength, weakness, likes, dislikes, and you will only become able to express yourself after becoming your truest form.

8. She tells you that you are Hanging out with people she dislikes

Keeping people in your life that you actually don’t like is another sign that you have not yet discovered your true self. Your friends should be the people who give your life a meaning or people who uplift you. Hanging out with people that you share no interests with is a good sign that you should reevaluate your life and thing about why you are still keeping them in your life.

9.shes Doing activities that she don’t enjoy

Not being true to yourself can also make you engage into activities you don’t even like or enjoy doing. Once you discover your true personality you will be able to connect more to the things and people that fulfill you.

10.She's second-guessing her female intuition

The female intuition is something that guides her  through her life, and questioning it too often is a sign that she may have not accepted her true self. Disregarding her first gut feeling and taking longer to make decisions can only set her further from her course.

The relationship sucks, but you are to scared to leave.

These might be signs You’re In A Codependent Relationship

Talk to me,
STOP GIVING ME the silent treatment 

You may....   have never considered yourself to be in a codependent relationship, but if any of the following  warning signs are present in your relationship, you may be in for a rude awakening. There are steps that you can take to break the cycle of codependency, but first you need to be able to recognize it in your relationship.

TAKE NOTE OF THESE WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN A CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP

Researchers examining codependency say that codependency has been defined as an addiction, the cause of an addiction, or the result of someone else’s addiction.

They say that ‘In general, however, codependency is used to characterize a condition that originates in `dysfunctional’ families, where children come to overcompensate for parental inadequacies and develop an excessive sensitivity to the needs of others.”

Codependent adults frequently start out as codependent children who had to grow up quickly when one or more parents needed parenting themselves. Now as an adult, they repeat the same negative pattern of trying to take care of others at the expense of themselves.

1. YOU THINK YOU CAN HELP YOUR PARTNER TO CHANGE

Even though you have not been successful in getting your partner to change in the past, in positive way, you keep trying. You feel certain that you could be happy, if only they would listen to you. People in a codependent relationship try to fix each other’s negative behavior rather than changing their own destructive habits.

Researchers studying codependent relationships find that feelings of shame, low self-esteem, and having to be a parent to your own parent at a young age were all correlated with an adult codependent relationship.  Therapy to heal the low self-image will help people to heal from codependent relationships.

2. YOU SAY ‘YES’ WHEN YOU REALLY MEAN ‘NO,’ AND THEN FEEL RESENTFUL ABOUT IT

Caving in to the demands of your partner in an attempt to ‘make them happy’ is unproductive, and it hurts your own personal integrity. Pay attention to your own needs first and make sure that they are being met first. To break the cycle of a codependent relationship, you will need to learn to fulfill your own needs, without your partner’s help.

3. YOU HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE, BUT YOUR PARTNER SEEMS TO REJECT IT

Giving until it hurts is your motto when you’re in a codependent relationship. You shower your partner with love and support, you help them with financial and emotional problems, but they just don’t seem to be able to heal themselves, in spite of your love. And they most definitely do not return your love.


4. YOUR PARTNER’S MOOD AFFECTS YOUR MOOD

You are way too sensitive to your partner’s mood and their needs, but what about your own? You can’t change how they feel, but you can change your own emotional state and how you respond to their negative mood.


5. YOU RARELY DO ANYTHING AWAY FROM YOUR PARTNER

Is it that you don’t trust what they will do apart from you or do they control your comings and goings? In a codependent relationship, one or both partners seek to control the behavior of the other person. This is not a healthy pattern.

6. YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR PARTNER LEAVING YOU

Feeling insecure about your relationship is normal in a codependent relationship, but not normal in a healthy one. Your partner is angry at you all the time because you keep asking them to change and you are frustrated by their lack of change, but determined to keep trying. You worry that they will reject your help and spiral further into their negative pattern.


7. YOU FANTASIZE ABOUT LEAVING YOUR PARTNER

Life would be so much easier with someone who would listen to your feedback or who at least wasn’t so angry all of the time. Although these thoughts drift through your head, you are unlikely to do anything to leave your partner. But mostly you scared that they will leave you . That is the nature of a codependent relationship.

So you could care less
 if I leave you.

"One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder” – Anonymous.

K.I.S.S. Keep it Simply Silly! Make Her Laugh!

A few Ways to Attract Someone Who Might Adores You... For All Good Reasons.

I didn't think she even liked me,
Go figure!

“True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.” – Ellen G. White

When was the last time you thought about the innate qualities that make you absolutely adorable? LPL-Lord Please  Laugh.

Maybe you are too busy, scattered, or distracted that you haven’t thought about these qualities for some time. Make no mistake: you possess unique qualities that people truly appreciate and admire. Perhaps without even knowing, someone drew inspiration and strength from these qualities.

Think about the people in your life who you adore and are inspired by. What is it about these individuals that stimulate your inspiration? Perhaps it’s a mother, father, sister, brother, grandparent; could be someone who is not related, or a romantic interest. Is it their humor, strength, intelligence, honesty, energy, resilience, or something else? You can probably think of at least one person that has influenced you in this way.

Adoration – love, devotion, respect, reverence or strong admiration – is one of the strongest emotions that we feel. To adore someone is to be in awe of their being. Further, it creates very strong feelings of attraction. By exhibiting our qualities, we indeed create feelings of attraction and admiration in someone else.

Perhaps you possess some of the following qualities, perhaps you don’t. However, it doesn’t mean that you can’t develop them. Here are a few demonstrable qualities that cause attraction and adoration:

1. BE YOURSELF

There is nothing more attractive than embracing who you really are and showing that to others.  Even if you succeed in attracting someone by using tactics that don’t reflect your true self, it is almost guaranteed that your true self will be discovered.  When you allow your unique self to shine through, people will realize, respect, and yes, even adore that.

It all boils down to the fact that we are all truly embodiments of love.  Why would you want to create something outside of that?  You may have to discover yourself for yourself first, but when you do, you won’t want to ever be anyone else.

P

2. BE HONEST

Being honest about your thoughts and feelings is attractive. Honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable, demonstrates individuality and confidence. On the other hand, dishonesty is seen as selfish, manipulative, and egocentric.

Unfiltered honesty about your opinions and perspectives appeals to most people. Those that disagree with and admonish you because of your opinions do not demonstrate understanding or rational thinking. They’re being harshly judgmental and showing people they are ignorant in the process.

Simply put: be honest in everything that you do. Anything else is lying or deceitfulness, plain and simple.

 3. HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

Having a sense of humor is a tremendous asset. Life is complicated and messy at times, which makes this quality all the more important. It also turns out that a sense of humor is a quality that causes attraction and adoration.

Women reading this post will attest to humor being incredibly attractive in both friends and romantic partners. Turns out that there is a biological reason why women view humor necessary in both plutonic and romantic relationships.

In a study done at Stanford University, 22 children aged six to 13 were shown a series of video clips – some of which were funny and some not. The children were hooked up to a functional magnetic resonance imaging machine (fMRI) to measure their brain’s activity.

When viewing the humorous material, girls showed more positive feelings in response than the boys did. Further, the girls felt more of a sense of reward in watching them.

Make her laugh, fellahs!

Great Traits Of A Good Woman, Smart Men Should Never Ignore

This garden is my heaven!

“The path of a good woman is indeed strewn with flowers; but they rise behind her steps, not before them.” – John Ruskin

Men, it’s time to get a little serious. Finding someone to spend your life with is just as important to men as it is to women. Society likes to pretend that men don’t worry about these types of things, but that just isn’t true. Dating and finding a compatible match is an important part of adulthood for a lot of men. That’s why it’s extremely important never to ignore these signs of a good woman. Make your life easier and commit these signs to memory.

1. PATIENCE

Patience isn’t considered a virtue for nothing! “A patient woman can do a lot to ensure that you are stable of mind and that you are making the right decisions for yourself, and then the people who are in your orbit,” says business consultant Franklin Madison on The Good Men Project.

A good woman is patient, and doesn’t insist on instant gratification. Not everyone has the ability to be patient, so you definitely want to keep an eye out for the women who are able to exercise restraint in all walks of life. Patience really is a virtue, and is definitely a sign of a good woman.

2. ENCOURAGING

Good women won’t want to bring you down.One of the major signs of a good woman is that she’s encouraging. No matter what your life goals are, she’s always going to stand by your side and be your greatest cheerleader. You’ll never have to feel worried, because she will always be standing by your side. When you’re feeling down, she’ll be there to pick you up whenever you need it, no questions asked.

The flowers accent my persona!

3. LOYAL

Loyalty can be hard to come by in this day and age. That is why loyalty is the sign of a good woman. Her loyalty to you means that you won’t ever find out that she’s talking about you behind your back, or doing anything to hurt you. Even when you’re in the wrong, she will make sure that she has your back. You can always count on her to be there when you need it, no matter what.

Why?

Because she chooses what she wants out of life and she holds on to it when she gets it. When you are what she wants, she will give you her everything!


4. FORGIVING!

Let’s face it, we all say things we don’t really mean, or after we think about what we said we want to take it back.... We all make mistakes. A good woman is willing to forgive your mistakes and work through them. When you find a good woman, you will know that you can be human and make mistakes. A good woman won’t just say she forgives you while still holding it over your head. She will forgive you, in due time. wholly and completely, and be ready to move on and grow with you.

5. NO TOO MUCH JEALOUSY

Good women don’t worry about your ex-girlfriends or try to figure out who you’re hanging out with. Good women, do not get  too jealous because they are secure enough in themselves to know what (and who) is worth their time, or what/who isn’t!

When you find a good woman, you’ll know it by the trust she puts in you. She embraces your friends and realizes that you’re a whole human being outside of the relationship. She isn’t jealous of your family, your ex’s, or your friends. You won’t ever have to deal with the green-eyed monster when you’re with her.

6. EMPATHY

The mark of a good woman is her ability to feel what you’re feeling. Empathy is a major sign of a good woman. While she can’t read your mind, she can put herself in your shoes and empathize with the way you feel. She cares about you deeply, as well as the other people in her life. When you’re hurting, she doesn’t stop to ask why. She feels it and wants to help you.

7. HUMOROUS

Being able to find humor during the good times and the bad is a skill that not everyone has. A woman who expresses her comedic sensibility with wit shows both her intelligence and her penchant for laughter; and laughter, let’s note, is both a bonding tool in smooth times and a healing tool in rough times.

So you think you are ready for the next big step!

The following are the 5 Most Important Things You Must Know Before You move in together.

So you are in Love and all you can think about is when to get married and spend all your life with your love one. After looking at the divorce statistic around the world you would want to consider more time to think about it whether you are ready or not? Some things you must know before you  move in together and plan to get married:

1. Are you ready to get married?

You think you are mature enough to separate love from Lust? Before you say “I Do” you better ask yourself a couple of questions: How much time you want to be alone during a day? How often do you want to spend time with your own friends? Are you ready to spend your christmas with your in-laws ? These questions might not seems important now but they will be at actual times.

2. Employment:

Are you working? What is your job related goal in your life? Does your job require you to travel a lot or spend a lot of times in your office? After you get married and have children are you  or your spouse going to quit your job and stay at home to raise your children? Which one is more important to you ? Your Job or your Family?! Never underestimate the role of your job on your life, So think very carefully!

3.Money, Money, MONEY Issues:

Why do you spend so much on your car?

How are your finances right now? Are you able to spend your money for the big day? What is the future plan for your family finances? How are your partner to be and you  going to share your household expenses? Are you making more money? If so, are you willing to help your spouse with his/her expenses? How do you feel about sharing your bank account and your saving with someone else? Lots of marriage has been broken because they haven not thought about serious changes each relationship will bring.

4.what about Children:

Would you ever decide NOT to have a children? Have you asked your partner to find out what is his/her point of view? How many children he/she wants to have? How do you want to raise your children? Religion is one of the most important points to talk about before having children? As time pass, Decades after decades cultures changed and family beliefs have gone far from our parents and our grandparents. Children will change your life and it’s your responsibility to think before bring another human being into your lives.

5. $ex:

Now is the time to talk about it,
not after you are finished using my body!

YEAH, $ex has two different sides, it can take your life toward two different DIRECTIONS. $ex should be a free topic to discuss, you have to be open and can talk freely about $ex with your partner, when you don’t talk about your $ex life it can changes to unsatisfied $ex episodes. Discuss your expectation and ask your partner about her/his expectations, this way both of you can make each other happy.... if you agree!