IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS TO SURVIVE THESE DAYS

YES BUT THERE ARE SECRET TO IT 

Do you know the secret?

There Is A Truths No One Tells You About Long-Term Relationships ~LTR (That's Why So Many Partnerships End)

Long-term relationships, or LTR’s, are what many of us search for, but something few of us can sustain in the long run. It often seems there’s a secret to getting through the rough patches of a marriage or LTR once the honeymoon phase is long gone. Even in the case of true love, we find that there is far more involved in learning how to get love to last for the long-term.

The trouble that most people struggling to keep a positive relationship afloat face is failing to understand that no long term relationships are perfect. All romantic relatinoships require consistent work, no matter how well-matched two partners may be. For those of us wondering how to make it through those rough patches, it helps to know the basic truth about long-term romances. Read on to see what truths most people have to learn the hard way about making it work.



IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL TO QUESTION YOUR LTR

“When true love finds you, you’ll know it”. That is the common misconception that ruins so many good relationships. It’s part of human nature to ask questions, so it makes perfect sense that you may have a little doubt about whether or not you should be with your significant other maybe even major doubt. When the doubt creeps in every now and then, know that it is healthy, and normal. If you are having persistent doubts that are difficult to shake, however, it may be time to address those concerns with your significant other.

YOU’LL BE ATTRACTED TO OTHER PEOPLE AND EVEN TEMPTED  A BIT.
Being in love doesn’t automatically shut down what makes you attracted to other people. Though your feelings of happiness may be true, it won’t prevent temptation from creeping into the mix. It is common for people in a LTR to be attracted to others and even develop a crush from time to time. Keep your eyes open and be honest with yourself and your lover. By firmly establishing yourself as committed to your partner, you will be ready to fight whatever temptation comes your way.

YOU MAY GET “BORED” IN YOUR LTR
When you think about all the adventurous antics of your single days, the steady, day-to-day sameness of your romantic life can seem a bit boring. This is one of the biggest secrets of the long-term life– your romantic partnership will be boring more often than not. It’s no surprise that the heightened excitement, lust, and passion of a new romantic interest is seemingly more interesting than the same person over 15 - 25 years, but there is much more to a romance than escaping boredom. As you work towards strengthening your relationship, you’ll realize that your focus is on building a positive future, rather than reveling in the constant uncertainty that short-term flings provide. With the right person, you will be able to find happiness and excitement throughout your daily lives.

 VULNERABILITY IS BEST
The best experience you can have in a LTR is truly being known and loved anyway. The truly vulnerable moments where you and your S.O. both know each other’s deepest identities can only be experienced in a romance. It can be scary to get this close to someone, but it’s the only way to deepen your L.T.R. and make it last long term.

 FIND WAYS TO BE INDEPENDENT IN YOUR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS
A new lover can feel like a whirlwind, making you want to stay with your loved one every waking moment. As your LTR wears on, however, you’ll realize the need for your own interests and space. Be sure to keep your other hobbies alive and well, making them a regular part of your life. By nourishing these outside interests, you’ll be able to keep your romance from being stifled or getting jealous when your significant other is spending time with their own hobbies.


Final thoughts

"If ever you are in my arms again."

Even LTR have expiration dates. Don't assume it's forever, until death do you part. That romantic forever after sounds great but that may not be in the cards you and your partner were dealt. You may just get to a point were 25 or even 50 years might be were you take note of the expiration date/time and call it quits . Unless you make divorce a never ever consideration. So make it as great as possible while it lasts....

Lift her up,
and never "put her down!"

Do You Know The top 3 Secrets That Could Make Love Last.

Well, in the beginning,
 we didn't know either... 

“You have been the summary of my entire existence; my biggest weakness, my greatest strength. The weathers of my life start and end with you. You complete me.” – Sapan Saxena

Falling in love is an amazing feeling. At first, everything seems so intense and beautiful. Even when the honeymoon feeling begins to fade, relationships fall into that comfortable place where everything just seems happy. To keep that feeling, and to keep that love and relationship going strong, takes a bit of work on both partner’s parts.

Continuing to love someone and make a relationship work brings joy to everyone’s life, and researchers have now found the perfect way to make a love continue to go strong forever. Relationship experts have long been doling out advice on how to keep your relationship strong and your love burning bright. Now, three secrets are going to be revealed that will help your love last forever.

OPEN COMMUNICATION ABOUT YOU AND YOUR PARTNER’S NEEDS.

Sometimes, we tend to expect our partners to be able to read our minds. Communication is key in any relationship, but what will make a relationship last forever is a very specific kind of communication: communicating your needs. Perhaps your partner is running late for a date that you’ve been planning for weeks. In your own head, you may feel like this means that your partner doesn’t care about your time together, and when they finally arrive, you give them the cold shoulder. On the other hand, your partner was actually held up at work and couldn’t get out of it, and they didn’t really mean to be late. All they could think about was getting to your important date on time.

In his book ‘Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstanding ‘, Dr. Aaron T. Beck writes, “When spouses’ high expectations are thwarted, they are prone to jump to negative conclusions about the partner’s state of mind and the state of the marriage. Interpreting a partner’s motives in this way is fraught with danger, simply because we cannot read other people’s minds.”

Without communicating your needs – in this case, the need for your time to be respected – your partner isn’t going to understand that their lateness hurt you, and you won’t know that your partner was thinking about you the entire time. Communicating what you need in these kinds of situations will keep both you and your partner happy, but also open the line of communication for compromising in situations.

When you tell your partner that you would appreciate a text or phone call if they were going to be late, you’re communicating your needs and letting your partner know how to better love you – which means your partner will do the same. Being open and honest about your needs, and receptive about your partner’s needs, is the key to a strong relationship. This will keep your love lasting forever.

Pick the right combination and
 Iet the magic happen

GET RID OF ANY UNSPOKEN RULES.

Just the same way you can’t read your partner’s mind, they can’t read your mind either! When something feels obvious to you, it may not be obvious to them. When you find yourself becoming upset over something your partner has done, or not done, or said, or not said, take a step back and ask yourself what you expected your partner to do instead. If it isn’t something obvious that any polite adult would know to do, maybe it’s become an unspoken rule that your partner isn’t aware of. This can happen in the reverse as well, if your partner becomes upset over something you didn’t know to do.

A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unspoken) needs.

Take some time to sit down together and air out those “unspoken” rules. Make them spoken, and then decide if they’re arbitrary or if you need them at all. A lot of the time, you’ll find that the answer is actually “No”. Relationships that work have an open and honest understanding of what is expected in the relationship from both partners. When you start laying out the expectations that you have for the relationship, both you and your partner will be able to love one another better – and for longer.

ASSUME THE BEST OF EACH OTHER

We humans sometimes make it a habit to assume the worst of people. Fortunately, the “worst” is most often not the case, especially when it comes to our loved ones!


One of the biggest challenges in communication in relationships is that it is easy to misinterpret or be misinterpreted.  People often assume the worst possible interpretation instead of asking for clarification. This behavior makes mountains out of molehills and causes friction in marriages. It also leads to unwarranted over reactions, which can destroy a happy marriage,” says Mike Tucker, speaker and director for Faith For Today Television.

Learning to assume the best out of your partner will both ease a lot of arguments and tension, as well as keep your love flowing endlessly between the both of you. Of course, you would want your partner to assume the best of you, considering that you’re often trying your best!

So, take that urge to assume the worst and twist it around so that you can create a positive, loving environment in your relationship. Talk about things that are upsetting you quickly and without assuming what the other party meant until your partner is able to fully articulate their intentions.

"Make it  last forever!"

Final thoughts:

Loving someone should be the easiest thing in the world to do! All you have to do is take a few steps back then forward and make sure that your communication doesn’t falter. You’ll be amazed by how wonderful and positive your life is when you utilize these secrets to making your love last. OK now I know... maybe I'll get it right next time! 

Read the signs.... these 7 are crystal clear.

I show it, without saying it! 

 Signs Love is a strong possibility, Even if it's not being Said.

Men and women display their love and affection in different ways. Most women say, “I love you,” profusely and often, while most men show their deep affinity in their day to day actions.

It can be confusing at times, but that’s because the truth is, men and women think differently. So, I decide to do some research for you and come up with a list of seven common sets of behaviors that directly demonstrate that he is in love with you, even if he doesn’t say it.

We truly believe that love is in what you do, not always in what you say. It’s easy to say, “I love you,” but true love is demonstrated in action.

A quick disclaimer:
 I'm no an expert but I did all of the following and still got divorced. I hope my son's  don't Follow my examples on the mistakes, but the following 7 I know we're not mistakes.

1. I'M NOT AFRAID TO MAKE SACRIFICES FOR YOU.

Making sacrifices for other people is easier to do when its for someone we care about. It takes selflessness, maturity, and most of all love. Relationships need a balance of mutual sacrifice or one party is left unhappy.

Men who are in love feel tremendous discomfort at the thought of their lady being unhappy, and if it’s something they can prevent, they will. Sometimes they will even go above and beyond to make something work out, just because it’s really important to their partner.

If your man can make sacrifices for your happiness, that is just one way he is saying, “I love you”, without actually saying it.

2. I LISTEN TO YOU.

Studies have found that women are much better listeners than men.  So, when a man not only hears you but actively pays attention and responds – a skill called active listening – you can have confidence that he cares.

Taking it a next step further, if he acts on your conversations, he’s smitten. 💘



3. I SHOW MY VULNERABILITY, AT TIMES

Men are generally cautious when it comes to showing any behavior that can be perceived by others as a weakness. We feel that we need to keep a perfect facade of strength.

But when we men are in love, we begins to let oir guard down. We becomes more comfortable and allows our real feelings to show. Vulnerability can take time, but if shown even an ounce, I trusts you enough to let my guard down around you.

4. I LOVES HOW YOU LOOK ON YOUR “WORST DAYS”. 

Most people put effort into looking their absolute very best during those early dates. We want to look and feel good when meeting up with a potential  partner.

But, once the actual relationship spawns and we spend more time with each other, comfort levels build, and our need to impress declines sharply. We men are OK with you  wander around in your pajamas, no makeup or messy hair.

The big take away here is that when a man loves a woman, he’ll think she is beautiful no matter what she looks like.

So when I tell you, “You’re beautiful,” even though you feel like a mess, take it for what it is and remember that is the equivalent to saying, “I love you!”

5. I'M PROUD OF YOU.

I know how important your career is to you, I sill hate seeing you pack for another trip.

When we men really love a woman, we show it by bragging about you. Yup, that’s right a real man isn’t shy about saying how proud he is of you.

Whether you’re a fantastic mother, a hard worker, or achieving your goals, you can rest assured that your efforts don’t go unnoticed to the man that is in love. So when we men tell you, it’s our way of saying, “I love you.”



6. I WILL STICKS UP FOR YOU.

This one’s obvious one, but very important. First lets be clear, if I don’t stick up for you, it doesn’t mean I  don’t love you. This is a hard one. Most of the time drama and controversy can arise with a close family member or friend.

Most men like to avoid controversy, so if I defends you, that’s big and it’s definitely my  way of saying, “I love you.”

7. I TREATS YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH RESPECT.

This is the last of my top 7, it is surely one of the MOST important. It’ s a given that in any relationship, a man should automatically show you, your family and friends respect.  The reason is simple; I care for you and I need to properly treat them with care as well.

Final thoughts
While I may not like every single one of your family members or  “catty” friends, I’ll keep my opinion to myself, because I knows how much they mean to you. Creating a good report with them is definitely my way of showing you I love you, without actually saying it....

Nothing feels better than REVENGE. Don’t get mad. Get even!

How sweet was that revenge?

Even though it's very tempting to ascribe to that saying, but I think a better one-- if possible-- is to  lose the person, their name on Social media,  phone number, address  and email id, or make yourself scarce to the point of oblivion.  Getting even can be a high energy project that is too consuming of your own mental and physical resources to make it worthwhile.  What with high BP, I wouldn't recommend getting too intense about revenge.  Consider cutting your losses and move to where you are free from this association, like a Caribbean Island.

Aren't you happier here in the Caribbean?

    However  If you still care  about the person, you could try to do what Jesus would do, and turn good for evil in the hopes of turning the person around to a better life, showing them the way unless he/she is already over the edge.   Just wave....

Your sense of betrayal will fade if you let it go and don't keep reminding yourself of it; you can find solace in being the better person and realizing you are by not continuing the cycle of hurting and being hurt.  The immediacy of the betrayal is still driving your feelings, but it will dissipate.  It is hard to read your story without wondering what drove the person to do this;  it is hard to believe there wasn't something or some provocation that caused this concerted effort.  You might reflect on that a bit more before taking any actions in order to understand why what happened.  Getting even might just create another round of revenge you wouldn't want to deal with. The Best revenge may be becoming friends with some new folks who just like hanging out with you and enjoy your company!

This is just so B.A.D.....

Don't assume, the things  you can't confirm!

It’s known for a fact that people with strong opinions and powerful personalities can be often mistakenly seen as arrogant and dominant. Sadly, they can be misinterpreted only by insecure and small-minded beings.

Some of them will perceive you as arrogant, maybe even rude.  Others will think of you as a dominant person. However, all of these opinions are just opinions, caused
by your great deal of self-confidence that leaves them intimidated by your strong traits.

People feel threatened by a powerful personality because they don’t understand how someone can be so comfortable with themselves without having a care in the world of what you might think of them.

Here are some power personality traits that might scare some people:

 You don’t need attention

People with this type of personality are known to be the most low-key individuals you’ll ever meet. They don’t have the time nor energy to waste on meaningless attention-seeking acts.

They radiate self-confidence and determination. Life taught them how to stand their ground, so don’t expect them to come begging for a pinch of attention.

However, despite their lack of neediness, their charisma often attracts a lot of people and the amount of socializing is not because they’ve asked for it but because people like to have them around.

 You are not concerned with pleasing everyone

Strong people won’t feel the need to constantly impress others, on the contrary, they’ll work on their true personality no matter how unfitting someone might find it.

Yes, you’ll never stop treating others with respect, but that doesn’t mean respecting someone by underestimating yourself.

People with powerful personalities will always reveal their true colors, and if someone is feeling intimidated and can’t accept it, then so be it!

 You don’t put up with excuses

Strong people will never waste their precious time putting up with excuses. They’ll go out of their comfort zone and choose to make the best of it.

You hate small talk

I’ll speak from my personal point of view. I mean come on… Those awkward talks about “what’s new” or the usual dull talk about the weather with a person you haven’t seen in years is definitely out of the question.

Real, raw talks about emotions, energy, the universe, the unknown give me the goosebumps and bring a tear to my eye, whenever it’s shared with a very dear person.

People with strong opinions are intelligent human beings. They need to converse about ideas, innovations, or creative solutions to obstacles. They need a subject that stimulates their brain and sparks their eyes whenever they talk about it. Small talk is every day’s garbage wrapped up in a dialogue.

You can’t stand ignorance and insensitivity

You can’t stand people who tend to make instant judgments about things they’re not certain about and react instinctively without even thinking.

Personality supported by strong traits such as yours are the result of being thoughtful, empathetic and well-informed.

 You stick to your morals

You stand your ground firmly and know that nothing out there can affect your balance. No matter how wrong for someone they may seem, or how different from their viewpoint they might be, your morals are your main principles that provide you guidance through life.

No one will convince you to do something that isn’t a part of your own moral system in the first place.

You admit when you’re wrong

A person that cultivates a strong-trait personality is aware of their flaws as much as their qualities. They tend to distance themselves from the EGO, the superiority of a person. Whenever a mistake is made, they’ll be honest about it and admit it.

The ball won’t always be in our court, and that is perfectly fine. Instead of being childish over an innocent mistake, people with strong personalities will admit it and move on to the next chapter.

That look you get, when I feel
you are assuming the wrong things about me.

Final thoughts

Our uniqueness makes us all special, makes perception valuable - but it can also make us lonely. This loneliness is different from being 'alone': You can be lonely even surrounded by people. The feeling I'm talking about stems from the sense that we can never fully share the truth of who we are. I experienced this acutely at an early age. 

An Alpha woman is a 10.

She is a Queen!

I CAN THINK OF 10 Things Alpha Women Need In A Relationship



My version of an Alpha women is that she portrays strength of mind and independence in every sense of the word. Accustomed to taking charge, they can intimidate some people. Alpha women are confident and ambitious and unafraid to tell people what is what. That kind of power can be off-putting for some partners who are either overly competitive with the Alpha woman or too submissive. So how can a true Alpha woman maintain a strong and healthy relationship? AS A MAN I believe "A" comes before "B"... not just in just  the Alphabet...but also Alpha  Ladies first.

1. THEY NEED TO BE CHALLENGED

A partner to an Alpha woman needs to be able to hold his own. The Alpha woman needs someone to compete with, yet someone who is secure enough in their abilities to be gracious in victory and a good sport in defeat.

2. THEY NEED TRUST

They need to know that what they tell you in confidence will stay in that relationship vault.An Alpha woman needs to feel the allowance to be vulnerable and let their guard down once in a while. They need to trust someone not to stab them in the back for personal gain.

3. THEY NEED RESPECT


The Alpha woman needs her partner to respect her decisions and not second-guess them at every turn. It is okay to challenge her before the decision is made, but not afterward. She needs her space and boundaries respected as well. This includes not being lied to for whatever reason. She respects someone who doesn’t belittle her when she is angry or put her on a pedestal she will fall off of eventually.

4. THEY NEED THEIR INDEPENDENCE

A little chill time,
no hassles please!

They need to be able to enjoy their personal passions and their friends. Alpha women don’t need a clingy person who can’t survive for a few hours without them. They want someone like them who also has a life outside of the relationship.


5. THEY NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN KEEP UP

Alpha women have things they have to do and they know no one is going to do those things for them. They are moving at a high speed, time-efficient and booked solid almost 24/7. Someone who can hang with them and their high-pressure, high-intensity environment is what they are looking for.

6. THEY NEED AN EQUAL PARTNER

Someone who is an equal partner; someone who carries their own weight in the relationship – this is who Alpha women will respect. They need someone who has their own opinions, and who has their ego in a healthy place. In other words, they need someone to walk with them, not behind them or in front of them. Their partner doesn’t need to have the same opinions, hobbies, or friends as they do. Alpha women respect a partner who is a complete and self-sufficient person on their own.

7. THEY NEED TO LAUGH

Like many people, Alpha women love someone who can make them laugh and lighten the mood in their often stressful and high-pressure lives. They need someone who can bring a smile to their face, who can tease them and be teased in return without hurt feelings on either side.

8. THEY NEED TO BE CALLED OUT WHEN NECESSARY

This one is challenging, but Alpha women need someone who is strong and secure enough to call them out on their bullsh*t. Someone to remind them that they are not perfect and that they can, in fact, make mistakes from time to time. Everyone needs their ego checked occasionally, and the Alpha woman is no exception. Their power and personality makes it necessary to have someone who will reign them in a bit when they go off the rails.

9. THEY NEED SOMEONE WHO IS INFORMED

In order to be all of these things, a partner of an Alpha woman should be informed about things from current events to esoteric knowledge. They need to be able to have an intelligent conversation with the Alpha woman and express ideas on her level. In the age of social media and information bubbles, it is important for the partner of an Alpha woman to have a well-tuned bullsh*t detector.

10. THEY NEED SOMEONE WITH TACT

What happens behind closed gates
Stays behind those gates!

Most importantly, they need someone with tact, someone who knows when to have that intense talk about something important and when to let it go.
They need someone who can handle their moods and emotions without ruffling feathers. 

Final thoughts
An Alpha woman needs someone who is thoughtful and sensitive enough to pick up on how she is feeling and broach difficult subjects in private

Marriage can end for many unspecified reasons!

Do you remember
 how we once felt about eachother?

You are no longer feeling perfect love for the person you fell in love with.

Relationships take major work. They require nurturing, love, and appreciation. No one wants to feel they are taken for granted, betrayed or misunderstood.

It takes more than friendship and commitment. Love requires the presence of trust and respect. Falling in love is easy. The difficult part is remaining in love, and committing to your partner forever.

So what cause the lack in connection, it was not all of a sudden... you surely had a hint things were on a bumpy path.



Lack of communication.

When you start a new relationship there is an abundance of sharing. Couples talk about anything and everything as they get to know each other. They fall in love with those parts that relate to one another. Unfortunately, as time goes on, communication withers. There are 4 ways that communication is affected: criticism, contempt (sarcasm and name-calling), defensiveness, and stonewalling (the silent treatment which is caused by the other three).In the comfort of knowing your partner, there is the discomfort of not wanting to ask again, or say the same thing again, as not to upset them. Communication shuts down because there is no effective way to sit and discuss issues in a healthy manner.

Now even the dog seems invisible to him! 

Feeling invisible.

After long periods of time, couples begin to take each other for granted. There is a feeling of merely existing in the relationship. Making love becomes the thing of the past. You stop touching and complimenting each other. You stop looking at one another. You begin to act like roommates rather than lovers. Love grows cold. It’s not a good idea to blame your partner for all the relationship problems. Sometimes we need distance in order to recognize how important our partner really is and retrace what made us sparkle in the first place. So it takes work!

Magnifying insecurities.

When the “in love” part vanishes, the truth of who we are starts to play. We begin to feed off each others’ insecurities. Jealousy starts to play a role in the relationship. Because we feel invisible, we begin to notice that our partner starts to behave differently with others. It’s not that he or she is cheating. It’s that we want to feel like we used to in the beginning. His insecurities are passed on to you. Her own issues began to play a huge role in how he reacts. It’s a constant battle of self worth and acceptance. The best way to move past this is to discuss the issues without blame or criticism.

 Boredom sets in.



Over time, people can change — or more often, they become who they really are. Someone who loved his steady business career may suddenly realize he always wanted to be a stand-up comedian and throw caution to the wind to chase his dreams. The kind of change that leads to love lost is always about a buried desire to be someone that’s repressed inside. It’s important to really know your partner to avoid this lost-love syndrome. A way to avoid this is to be open and accept your partner’s choices in what makes him/her happy. Changes are suppose to happen in relationships. You must go with the flow, otherwise boredom will extinguish the flame that was once the reason you fell in love. A bird flies South when it gets cold and a woman may fly to an exotic place when she gets bored.

Maybe a Solo trip
might do me some good!

Attraction is gone.

What kills attraction? The inability to have fun. You fall in a rut and can’t get out of it. You stop going out on date nights, or doing special things for your significant other. Most times it has nothing to do with physical appearance but the things that go unsaid or undone. You fell in love with that person for many reasons. It’s about revisiting those parts of the relationship. Attraction is ignited through appreciation and compassion.

 Holding on to grudges.

Nothing is worst that holding on to past resentments and grudges. The quote “forgive and forget” does not play well when we are still reclaiming hurtful situations, and they instantly affect how you feel, in the present.


Final thoughts: