Let's fight just for fun

In a relationships fights are inevitable, but the repercussions of these situations
lead you to find every tiny habit of your partner annoying. Also, there is nobody
who would like to accept the fact that they are annoying and deny or shadow their
habits by a not so valid reason. Well, knowing the reason why a certain situation
or habit of your partner annoys will help you bridge the gap and strengthen the
relationship.

If your partner is annoyed with you then it definitely is a cause for concern
and if a particular habit constantly annoys your partner then talking about it
is the best solution. Communication is imperative to resolve any hitch in
the relationship and talking about what annoys you can help sort things out
in a cordial manner.

If the annoyance continues for a long period of time then it cannot be taken
casually and should be discussed and worked on at that instant. In a relationship,
if you are trying to impress your partner, but also being a reason for their annoyance,
then that isn't a good sign. It is necessary to read the signs and work on it. Identifying
those reasons are imperative and you need to bring amends immediately to have
a smooth sailing ship. So, here are 6 signs that your partner is annoyed with you.

Their jokes have a hidden motive.

Making a joke at the expense of the other is not an ideal thing to do, but with your
partner, it goes to a different level. Your partner might mask their reason of
annoyance behind a joke to make it sound humorous, whilst making their point.
Well, criticism hurts the most when your partner brings it up especially, which
is focused on your personality or character flaws. Instead of focusing on the
problem they end up make a broad generalization about your personality.

Don't mess with me, I will go off on you!

This can lead to a cold-war or a passive-aggressive rebuttal depending on
your personality, but this is not the most cordial way of resolving a problem in
the relationship. It would deteriorate the foundation fabric of the relationship,
but talking about it in a calm manner and openly about what may be causing
them to react in a certain manner can help resolve the issue.
So it might not be a BAD behavioral testing set of sessions…
Where you agree to test out annoyances to discuss  what you can resolve,
before it gets to be a situational cause for splitting up.

They are always on the defensive

Defensiveness is another way that your partner might adopt to hint
that they are annoyed with you. Being on the defensive means that
they are not going to take responsibility for anything and will be blaming
you for everything that goes wrong. There are various reasons why they
are making you the prime reason for putting you in such a situation.

If this becomes a mundane scenario then you need to sit down and talk
with your partner immediately. Discussing the problem and understanding
what chain of events have made them react in a manner can help sort it out
in a more understanding manner.

Forgetting to respond to texts and calls

OK I have to put  money in the the Jar for not responding  to his text

You would have a fair share of texting and talking over the phone in the initial
stages relationship and if it abruptly dissipates into one word-replies or no
replies at all it is a reason to worry. It is like an emotional disconnect due to
them being annoyed at you and identifying this hint can help resolve the
problem faster.

You do not need to play any games and wait for a specific duration of time
to text them, but interpreting their response patterns can have a few meanings
and recognizing the cause can help in taking the appropriate choice of action.
Agree to deposit cash for deliberately not responding, this fund can be used
for a night out on the town together where both of you can have fun at the
expense of both of your BAD attitudes.

Physically present, but mentally absent

If your partner seems to zone out when you are together or is doing her
thing when it is couple time then she is annoyed with you, but not sharing it.
If you find them looking into their phone while talking

or eat rather than responding or eating then there is something
bothering her. This behavioral change might be contrary to their
previous attitude towards you, which makes it a reason to worry.

Her shift can happen for two reasons either because she honestly
do not know (highly improbable) or she is not sharing it. You might question
the legitimacy of your thoughts, regardless asking her about it can lead you
into a conversation that is long overdue. Conversations can allow the other
person to vent.... and both can have a better understanding as to what
the issues are.

They are not as responsive as they once were

Tell me what's wrong , or I will tickle you until you do!

It is understandable that the romance fades away to a certain extent after
the relationship matures with time. But if this seems to be a deliberate attempt
then you need to talk. There are many couples who do mushy things and do
overly romantic gestures to express their love for each other.

But, the reason to worry is when the other begins to pull away signaling
the distance or completely brushes it off not even acknowledging the efforts.
This is the time when you need to sit down and have a discussion about
what is bothering them and if there is something about you that you need
to shine up a little bit.

They start keeping to themselves often

This is My chill time don't bother me!

Setting aside time for yourself away from the hustle and bustle is natural
to get peace of mind. In a relationship, your partner might need her space
from time to time, but if there is a regular need to stay alone and quiet for
an excessive amount of time then you should trace back and introspect.

It is not certain that you are the cause of distress, but you should ask,
which also shows that you care and a good way to find out if you did
something to upset them. At this stage, you need to talk about the
problems and discuss it at length because it is a sign of distance.
Additionally, if your partner keeps to herself more often because of
something about you that is upsetting her then you need to act
before it is too late.

When you realize that your partner is annoyed at you and not sharing
it there is a multitude of options you can adapt to resolve the situation.
Not responding or recognizing these issues can put your relationship
towards the path of a breakup. Also, while discussing the reasons you
will take it personally, but you need to retain a steady head to cordially
solve the matter and retain the relationship. An essential ingredient of
a relationship is acceptance and accepting your partner for who they
are and retaining the love is the recipe.

When you realize that your partner is annoyed at you and not sharing
it there is a multitude of options you can adapt to resolve the situation.
Not responding or recognizing these issues can put your relationship
towards the path of a breakup. Also, while discussing the reasons you
will take it personally, but you need to retain a steady head to cordially
solve the matter and retain the relationship. An essential ingredient of a
relationship is acceptance and accepting your partner for who they are
and retaining the love is the recipe.

Final thoughts:

Most of what I addressed in this blog were not addressed in my personal relationships over my years of being with someone. Neither my ex-wife nor any other women were ever given this much "let's fix it thoughts." I have learned to put myself in the other person's position and ask myself if what is running around in my head is what, the other person is experiencing because for what ever reasons. I can be intuitive, and a good listener and fixer... but don't always see the need to go the extra mile. I can be a silently a reserved person this can confuse and frustrate the other person,
to point where they want to kill me, or love me!

But now I'm about "sailing on" and "float on"

Behaviors of A Woman That You Never Want to Let Go!

If you're the "one," then I hope I don't wake up and find out I was dreaming.

The following  indicate that your woman is the right person for you:

Why am I, still single…? I’ve been asked a few times here of late…
so I asked who would be a  perfect woman for me… these were some
of the responses I received.

I’m a bit of a cynic.  So..... just picture me (smirking)
on most of these. responses

She has the following good points:

She “radiates” sweetness

There are tough and strong women out there which can also be
sweet at the same time. A woman in love is not afraid of showing
how she feels. She will express her love by kissing your cheek or
holding your hand without being shy about it.

If she is kind to other people, whether it is your friend, mother or a
distant relative, not just you it is also a very good sign.

These types of women are hard to find these days, many
good women hide their good nature, and shield themselves…. out of fear of
being hurt by men who seldom appreciate them, for who they are naturally.
The good women with strong moral character  become self protecting
of their feeling, their good hearted-ness makes them vulnerable in this
World of predators. After being hurt once or a few times, they may
retreat into a harder cover shell…. Not letting others get too close!

She makes you smile without much effort

A couple that does not laugh together is not a happy couple.
You have probably noticed at least one couple that seems….
too formal and distant.

You should always seek to keep the one who makes you smile
and laugh often. Being able to laugh together makes you feel
connected more which is something you should take care of.

Contrary to the old saying “Opposites attracts.”
The  good nature women is most likely attracted to male
who shows her his good heart. It you seem like  a hard,
seldom warm man,mostly cold with little emotions BAD-boy,
she will most likely avoid you like the plague. If you seem unkind,
or fake kind, she will not let you get anywhere near her.

You want to spend more time with her

We assume you have been at least in one relationship where
spending time with your partner seemed like a chore. Don’t worry
because you are not the only one.

A woman who makes you count the minutes until the next time
you see her is the one you should keep close to you. It is always
a positive sign if you always look forward to your dates.

Each encounter with someone worthy of being your life
should have the possibility of being  remembered and
categorized as a special event,

She gives you compliments

No matter how horrible you think you look in your
stained sweaty-shirt with your sweat dripping messy  
face, while doing the lawn…. she will still find something
she likes about you. Even if you are not making enough money
she will compliment your devotion and hard work.

Here is where we men get a bit uncomfortable,
unless the woman is in our scope we don’t feel the comfort level
with compliments as real coming our way, without having
worked for it . Unless she is complimenting a man on his good taste
in clothing, car, home etc....   Not making enough money
is usually a deal breaker.

She changes her plans for you

The couples that stay together their entire lives are
those who are willing to sacrifice for each other. She doesn't
mind coming over even if it is 3 a.m. to make you soup because
you have food poisoning. She doesn’t mind driving 1 hour to pick
you up because your car broke down. She will also do little things
that will show how much she loves you.

Really? Sorry, I have never experienced this one!
Her plans are set in granite unless your plans are so fantastic
that she just could not resist. Being spoiled by your generous offer!

She doesn’t ask for too much

Having a low maintenance partner is one of the important
things you should be thankful for. If you don’t expect her to demand
something any time you walk through a mall, she is definitely a keeper.

Women that don’t ask too much from their partner are also more
responsible and self-reliant. However, even though she doesn’t
ask anything from you it does not mean that you shouldn’t surprise
her with gifts from time to time.

Really? Sorry, I have, once again, never experienced this one either!
Too much is a matter of interpretation  men see a request,
on sticky note on the fridge, to take out the garbage as
too much trouble to comply with… So don’t expect any man
to ever feel like it’s not too much, whatever it is ….
If you feel like you have to ask more than once .
However , it’s not too much, if he does it without
being asked, at all, or just once.  

7.You can trust her

Even though this one is last on the list it is probably the most
important. Being honest with your partner is the key to a
meaningful and intimate relationship. In case your partner
has never made you doubt her faithfulness, then you are very lucky.

You might also never suspect she has hidden motives because
she actually does not have any. And if she tells you more than you
need to know, she really trusts you, so never let her go.

Really? Sorry, I have yet to experience this one.
Either I may be  a too cynical but everyone I know have hidden motives…
when they are not revealed up front……. they are hidden…….

Final thoughts.

I'm honestly surprised by the majority of the answers  that were given

The first thing my mother ever taught me about women is:
"they function with emotions, they overthink more often than not,
even when you don't think it will be (A) she is already
considering (B), ©,(D) (E) and (F.)  They act using with Junction
points are linked to an emotion with all sorts of chemicals
in the brain associated with bonding, love, reward, and pleasure.
When you add to that the fact that what  women want is
intimacy with options that is dictated by their
fantasies, you start to realize that it's impossible to
have consistency without triggering a temporary  
bonding/rejection response, that can be overridden
at a moments notice, scratch that you will not even see it coming.

Have You Ever Been The Side Chick?

Who is Really To Blame? YOU or HIM?

So I'm really your one and only?

Whether you want to admit it or not, almost every woman has been a side chick at least once or twice  in their lives, some unknowingly and others intentionally.

Sideline chicks, also known as ‘homewreckers, h**s and mistresses’. He could spend hours with you and carry on what you think is a relationship and still go back to his wife or girlfriend.  But is that other woman really at fault on why your relationship failed or should you be looking at that male specimen laying next to you?

There is a different breed of female (and male)  in the world today. We live in a society where men believed they’re the prize versus the alternative and situation-ships are more ideal than actual relationships.In an 2017 article titled, The Psychology Behind A Side Piece In An Affair, the author suggests that most women who know they are side pieces are in the situation for themselves and they’re not worried about the other person. These women are simply not into traditional relationships so becoming a side piece is not a downgrade but a preference.  They tend to make the most out of their time with their “temporary man” without the daily grind or burden of tending to him  and doing those things that the main chick will be obligated to do ( i.e. laundry, cooking, cleaning). In other words, I could enjoy all the fun of being with a man without the stresses of actually taking care of one.

On the other hand, you have women who are side chicks and may not know it. Or are in denial.  These could be those home-girls, you know the ones that your boyfriend ( or husband) tells you not to worry about. We call those friends with benefits.

Side note: If he tells you not to worry about a specific female friend of his, you should worry about it.

Hi I went to school with you, didn't I?

Or the most common one, a woman he actually pursues, starts dating and thinks she is the only one, until she receives that call or text from the  real one. But ladies there are always signs to tell you whether or not you’re the side chick. It’s just your choice on whether or not you choose to acknowledge them. Listed below are a few red flags:

He is upfront with you about his situation

Never assume your position with a man, unless he verbally says it himself. If he tells you that you all are not together, he’s not looking for anything serious or my favorite one, we’re just cool, believe him. And if you choose to continue to deal with him, don’t be surprised or mad when you see something you don’t want to see. He told you sis…You never met any of his family, friends or anyone he considers important in his life. Especially  friends. You been seeing this person for months and you still don’t know who he hangs with?  The squad usually knows about your relationship before the family does. Red flag. You don’t receive the ‘good morning, goodnight or midday text’ But he could text you after 11 p.m. to ask ‘wyd’ and on a work night. Boy bye. He could take hours to respond back to your texts and if you try to call him, it goes  straight to voicemail. Men tend not to pick up the phone when BAE is around. But if you do happen to be with him and that same number keeps popping up on his caller ID and if he never answers it but won’t ignore it either, that’s the girlfriend. He’s always busy on the weekends. Unless it’s super, super late and you catch him while he’s out on the town with friends you never met. ( There goes that ‘wyd’ text again)  Other than that its happy hour after work and quick stops to your crib for some booty, but he has to be gone at least by 9 or 10 p.m. You’re the side chick. At the end of the day, both genders could be at fault for sidelines. Men, especially if the woman simply has no idea. In his mind, what his woman doesn’t know won’t hurt her and in truth, it won’t. But what’s done in the dark, you know the rest.  Guys tend not to mess up a system that is working for them. Why just settle for the cake, when you can have the pie  and ice cream too? However in her mind, all you come out to be  to her is a liar and someone who has been wasting her time and leading her on. And God forbid, if she invested feelings in you which usually happens and "I’m busting the windows out your car" ( why I thought of Jazmine Sullivan’s song while writing this, I have no idea).  But sis, if you know this man is in a relationship and you continue to deal with him, it’s all on you. Do better. And she is determined "I’m still busting the windows out your car and his."

You know men cry in the dark! So I'll wait till I get home!

Side ( pun intended) note: Situation-ships are situations in which you do everything as a couple; act like a couple, argue like a couple, have feelings like a couple , you may even live together like a couple, but you two are NOT a couple. Some women become content for just a piece of man and would put themselves in arguably, ‘B.S’ situations just to say that you two are “cool”. Hence, the side chicks who know they are side chicks. The women who choose to deal with a man knowing he has a whole, other relationship with someone else. There’s an argument between the two. When we’re together, we’re together, when we’re not, we’re not.

Is it Love or is it Toxic!

Did you have to be so brutally honest?

For me it means, you can't have a deep healthy relationship or know if you are truly compatible without completely transparency. Refusing to go into detail about outside people is dishonesty, hiding your true fears is a receipt for failure and an omission is a lie. What do you think? ~ Michael Baisden.

The following are some of the most important things you should pay attention to in order

to differentiate true love and toxic love.

Engage in Self-development

In true love this is a very important thing for both partners, because both should

want the best for each other.

On the other hand, in toxic love the primary interest is the relationship and

the partners are more interested in the superficial aspects of the relationship.

Separate interests

In true love, both partners have different interests and they are both comfortable

with that. Whether it is different friends, goals or hobbies, they will be comfortable

with spending time separated to do the things they love.

In toxic love, the partners are too involved with each other’s behaviors,

and will never go anywhere. Out of fear that something will interrupt

their agenda while separated. They feel dependent on each other.

i.e a codependent relationship.

Individuality

In true love, both partners are comfortable with accepting and cherishing

their partner’s individuality.

In toxic love, they are trying to change the partner to be a completely

different person just to suit their needs and fit their image of the perfect partner.

Intimacy

In true love, partners are completely comfortable with their intimacy because

their relationship is based on love, trust, care and friendship.

In a toxic relationship, you may feel that sex is too much pressure, and it can even

make you feel insecure because you don’t want to do something your partner requires

of you and you are not comfortable with telling them.

Conversation

In true love, partners will try to make every conversation constructive, whether they

agree or disagree about something, because they want to understand each other and

also help each other.

In toxic love, most conversations are based on blaming, manipulating or

defending your partner to others.

Final thoughts:
Once you recognize the difference will you do the right thing for yourself.
Will you want to Run to ... or run away?

Do you really know who he is!

I'm that guy you've been waiting for all of your life!

These  Are Some Signs You’re With A Good Man.

RELATIONSHIPS would  be simpler if we concentrate on the good and less on the BAD.

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." – Marcus Aurelius

As men, one of our duties is to be gentlemanly to all those that we encounter. There is perhaps no person that this pertains to more – and to a higher degree – than your committed Life-partner. Women expect to be courted by, and potentially married to, a man of the highest character.

Most people would agree that good men encompass certain behavioral traits throughout the duration of a relationship.  This leads to the next question: what character traits make up a “good man”? Well, there are indeed many of them. I’ve managed to narrow the “signs” of a good man down to about 11.. I like what 11 because it implies 1 on 1, in my view.

YOU ARE WITH A GOOD MAN IF:

With you I feel born again!

HE MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL ( INSIDE AND OUT).

As his lifepartner, a good man won’t forget about making your feel beautiful. A good man is not content with just saying the words, but is successful in manifesting feelings of beauty within your heart. This includes in the way he interacts with you physically and mentally.

 HE EVOKES A SENSE OF INSPIRATION.

A good man will always possess a strong and unshakable character. As such, by default, the man is inspirational in his words and deeds. He never ceases to evoke feelings of inspiration. A good man will inspire a woman to be the best version of herself.

 HE IS SUPPORTIVE MORE OFTEN THAN NOT.

A good man understands the importance of remaining supportive and accommodating to a woman’s needs. This doesn’t entail being a “Yes Man,” but being a man that can offer support and accommodation when the situation calls for such.

You know you have my total support on whatever you choose to do!

 HE ALWAYS SEEKS SELF-IMPROVEMENT.

A good man never really gives himself too much credit. Though he may be intelligent, a good man seeks to always self-improvement; whether this is through learning something new, taking on added responsibilities, or getting into better shape, a good man prides himself on becoming better. Having said all that. Here is what this means for you lady, because how he takes care himself, he will encourage you to do the same sharing knowledge with you by informing you that there are good things you both can be share.

HE MAKES YOU FEEL SAFE AND SECURE.


Feeling safe and secure is a vital component for any woman in her relationship. It is the man’s duty to ensure that such feelings are present. In the event of something unfortunate, a good man will always stand up for and defend his woman.
The most compelling part about security is that's the comforting feeling a person can have, grant your ladies peace of mind is the ultimate peace two people can have as a couple.

I have your back, baby... you never have to worry about that.

HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO DO THE “LITTLE THINGS” WELL.

Holding the door open, pulling out the chair, feeding the kids, etc. are all trademark actions of a good man doing the little things. He is never too busy to stop what he’s doing and offer a small gesture of assistance. Go figure women want a manly man but often misunderstand the softer side of that same man.  If he does all of those things then he might be too soft... this why thugs reign supreme  in rap videos.

HE IS HONEST AND FORTHCOMING.

A good man will not lie, cheat, or steal, especially to the person he loves the most in the world. A good man should not feel any hesitation in telling it like it is, whether what he has to say be good or bad.


HE IS NEVER ABUSIVE TOWARDS YOU OR ANYONE ELSE.

A good man will never be physically, mentally, or emotionally abusive to his partner. Ever. Also, a good man will not instigate an abusive episode with anyone else under any circumstance. Instead, a good man will use the strength of his character and intellect to resolve conflicts.

HE STANDS BY YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

I have always stood with you wholeheartedly, and I always will.

When a good man expresses his love, this love remains through thick and thin. Under no circumstance will a good man neglect you, even in the more challenging situations. A good man will not abandon his duty to stand by you.

HE WORKS TO EARN, AND KEEP, YOUR TRUST.

A good man understands that trust, like love, cannot be forced; it must be earned. After earning the woman’s sacred trust, a good man will not take such a blessing for granted. Furthermore, a good man never leaves his trust in-doubt.

HE PUTS YOU FIRST IN MOST CIRCUMSTANCE.

This doesn’t mean that he keels over and appeases to a woman’s every whim. It does mean, in most cases, that a good man will be selfless in his words and deeds. It is a man’s responsibility to put his woman first – a good man does this much more often!

Become her lasting choice

Simple Relationship tricks  That Make You Fall In Love  Maybe Again and Again!

Thank you for
 waiting, for me!

All romantic relationships take lots of work to make it  a successful union; ask Angelina and Brad… oh wait! that's a B.A.D. example.

While I should not be the one to  laugh at another’s failed relationship, let us talk about how to improve our own. Both parties need to keep watering the plant of love on a daily basis; otherwise, that plant will wither and die. Your question is: “How does one maintain and improve the relationship every day?” I thought you would never ask!

TURN OFF ALL PHONES (OR AT LEAST KEEP THEM ON SILENT WITH VIBRATE MODE OFF)

Imagine this setting: You somehow managed to get a reservation at the swankiest restaurant in town. You have ordered the oysters, the Chateaubriand for two, the $50 bottle of wine, everything is just right. Then your date gets a phone call and they are talking blah blah blah for a long enough while, slurping in the oysters while they talk. When they do hang up the phone, it seemingly becomes super-glued to their hand and they never look up from the thing. Before you know it, the waiter asks for dessert order and they ask for one to share, all the while magically spellbound by their new iPhone X. Cinema (movie theater) rules should apply here, ladies and gentlemen. Not only is it rude to not pay attention to the person you are with, it is a serious mood killer, if you ignore your date.

GOING TO BED AT THE SAME TIME

This is intimacy in true form. Going to bed at the same time is akin to spooning or pillow talk after doing the horizontal fandango. When sleep patterns diverge, it’s harder to keep a connection. What are you doing that is so important that you are unable to go to bed at the same time as your partner? Maybe it is unavoidable, like the graveyard shift at work. Maybe your favorite program is on the TV late. Maybe you are gambling your money away at the Casino and you do not want your other half to find out about it, so you keep playing to win back your losses. If it is avoidable, at least try to make the effort to do this. Your partner will be grateful you did, and you will be less stressed.

 A SMALL GESTURE TELLING THEM YOU ARE THINKING OF THEM

It is hardly rocket science, but knowing that you are in the thoughts of your special someone makes you feel special. This is where you can get your creative juices going. You can WhatsApp them saying, “Morning sweetie. Bringing a ray of sunshine to your day. I love you.” You could even leave a card saying the same thing, this is very romantic. I know this is cheesier than your favourite margherita but how about a poem just because?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You’ll never guess what?
I’m so in love with you.
Do Not LOL!

TRYING SOMETHING NEW TOGETHER

This is a surefire way to make the Bond stronger, James. No, you do not have to fight Jaws or blow up a Russian missile silo. If you have not watched Bond movies together yet, rent Quantum of Solace or Octopussy or any of the others. Another suggestion is that you could do some role-play as 007 and Bond Girl to keep things shaken, not stirred between you two. The good thing about it is that you do not have to report back to Q later. Be careful with those gadgets. Now!

WITHHOLD  CRITICISM

Criticizing can take the edge off that loving feeling. Before the need to start singing the song by the Righteous Brothers, just think for a moment before uttering the words that cannot be taken back. Even if it is minor criticism, instead suggest another way of doing whatever it is your partner is doing. This can really help the relationship by your partner doing better in your eyes and you are now satisfied with the way they do it. Sing it with me “Bring back that lovin’ feelin’, Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’!"

Your new hairstyle is the bomb!

A LITTLE GRATITUDE GOES A LONG WAY

“Thank you” are two key words that can boost your romantic situation. Let's try something here, “I thank you for reading this post” What Im thanking you for is the time you are taking out of your life to read this post!

Final thought
So what's better than being her first choice... ignore your ego tripping... and become her last(ing) choice. We men need realize that it might be to our advantage if she picked someone else to make all the mistakes with..... and then pick you to make all the right choices with.  Some women never forget their first. But all women appreciate the one that last the longest. She might even fall asleep on the beach totally content. 

Is this what women really want?