She may actually believe the things she heard about you

So she is now delusional about you!  You didn't make the best first impression. And then social media  may have no help by painting an even more  imperfect picture of you..

Damn I came across as argent and too self assured!

There may be Ways to Fix a BAD First Impression

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression," the old aphorism tells us, and both science and everyday experience testify to its truth. First impressions are quick, powerful, and lasting, which is why it's so important to do everything you can to make a good one.

But sometimes, despite your best efforts to be charming, something goes wrong. Personalities clash, jokes fall flat, nerves get the best of you, or one party is simply having an off day, so a relationship starts with a fizzle rather than a bang. Is there anyway to bounce back from this sort of lousy first impression?

To the relief of anxious daters, entrepreneurs, and job seekers, everywhere, experts agree that while changing a first impression can be difficult, it is often doable. Here are some of their top tips for turning things around.

Decide whether it's worth sweating. Not everyone gets along with everyone. That's OK. You don't have to please every Tom, Dick, and Harriet you meet. So your first response to the sense that you and a new acquaintance didn't get off on the right foot is to assess whether it's worth worrying about in the first place.

"I'm all about building a confident first impression, but sometimes people get too caught up in having to make a perfect first impression, (you'd have to assume this tip applies to the ladies as well). "Does it really matter to try to fix it? Is it really a big deal? If not, let it go."

Stop pretending One common way to muck up an introduction is to stress yourself out pretending you're something you're not. Not only is this bound to make you awkward and unhappy, but almost everyone can sniff out this kind of falseness as well, and very few will respond positively to it. If your nerves got the better of you and you put on airs, the fix is simple, who has no doubt seen plenty of first meetings gone wrong. His solution: Confess and stop.

"Your best hope is to be honest with the person.Admit you were just trying to make a good impression." Follow that spoken honesty up by acting like yourself the next time you meet.

Don't let your imagination run away with you If you got off on the wrong foot because of a simple stumble on your part, own it and apologize. Sometimes bad first impressions are caused by genuine mistakes. Perhaps you discussed a touchy subject unknowingly or mistook your new contact for someone else. Simply apologize for your mistake.

Apologize... While admitting to a misstep or to letting your nerves get the best of you can pay dividends, according to counselor and coach Susan Fee, you should nevertheless avoid over-apologizing for a dicey first meeting. Saying you're sorry is important, but overdoing it can create another uncomfortable situation. It puts the other person in the uncomfortable position of having to constantly reassure you.

Let me also caution against assuming your impressions of a meeting match up with those of the other party. Sometimes we think we screwed up far worse than we did. Usually what we imagine is far worse than reality. Approach your apology by owning your feelings rather than telling others how you assume they feel. This gives you a chance to test their perceptions and get a real handle on the situation.

...but don't over-apologize "So, instead of starting out with, 'You must think I'm a total idiot,' speak for yourself," ,I would suggest instead something like, "I'm uncomfortable with how I behaved yesterday because I realized I might have offended you. Did you feel the same way?" That way you'll avoid over-apologizing.

Pivot... If a straight apology doesn't seem to suit the situation, you can always try pivoting instead. One of the best approaches for recovering from a bad first impression is to pivot by showing off a different and more favorable side of your personality. In other words, if you tried to crack a joke and it fell flat, then demonstrate sincerity. Or if you tried to be sincere and it rang hollow, then demonstrate compassion. Pivoting to focus on a different aspect of your personality may help to reshape the perception of your character and value.

If you're a generally shy person, that shyness may come off as being rude or inconsiderate. Similarly, a feisty personality may be perceived as overbearing and disrespectful. Whatever the case, try to adjust your responses to balance this personality trait. If you're shy, smile more and initiate conversation. If you're too outgoing, take a step back and listen," she advises.

Ask for advice.... If someone dislikes you, one way to put the relationship on a fresh footing is to ask the person for advice. Not only is this flattering to the person being asked, but also offers an opening for further positive interactions. Say you ask for a book recommendation. Suddenly, you have the basis of an interaction, because now when you return it, you can return it with a book you think he or she might like.

Be persistent... If you're really determined to win someone over after a rough start, be warned that your efforts may take some time. A Harvard study suggests that it will take eight subsequent positive encounters to change that person's negative opinion of you. In this context be persistent and patient.

Final Thought
While a sustained effort over time may be required to change a bad first impression, it's not sufficient. You also need to be stable in your subsequent behaviors. Overcoming a super bad impression requires that all future behavior be consistent with how you want to be perceived.

 Lately

These Are Some of The Ways Men And Women Think Differently

 It's all about the size of the brain.

Men and women are different. There are some good biological reasons for that. Studies of brain scans of men and women show that women tend to use both sides of their brain because they have a larger corpus callosum. This is the bridge between the two hemispheres of the brain and allows women to share information between those two halves of the brain faster than men. Men tend to use the left side of the brain which is the more logical and rational side of the brain. Scans also reveal other interesting ways in which men and women do things differently or process information differently from each other.

1. PERCEPTION

Women have smaller brains that are more tightly packed with connections. This allows them to perform better at tasks involving the bigger picture and situational thinking. A man’s brain tends to perform better at spatial thinking involving recognizing patterns and problem solving with objects in a spatial environment.

2. ONE TRACK MIND

Men tend to excel better at singular tasks( one box at a time) while women are better at juggling a number of tasks at once (multiple connects interacting at once).This may stem from the primordial male role of the hunter who is fixated on a singular objective while the traditional female role of manager of the home forced her to juggle many tasks
simultaneously.

3. SOCIAL INTERACTIONS

Women tend to perform better in social situations than men do. Men tend to excel at more abstract thinking and task-oriented jobs. Again, this may stem from the traditional gender roles whereby women had to work together to accomplish more complex tasks while men spent more time alone stalking prey.

4. DEALING WITH EMOTIONS

Women have a larger limbic system in their brains which allows them to be more in touch and expressive about their emotions. Men tend to be a little oblivious with emotions that are not explicitly verbalized. Men tend to be more logical in their thinking and dismiss information that is not directly involved with the issue they are tackling. Women tend to be much more empathetic and susceptible to
emotions influencing their thinking.

Let me calculate the probabilities that things could happen

5. DO THE MATH

Men tend to have larger inferior parietal lobules than women. This area of the brain is thought to control mathematical ability and processes. Men tend to do better with math because of this. This isn’t to say that there are not women who are great at math, but that men have a small biological advantage when it comes to math and logic based skills.

6. DEALING WITH PAIN

The amygdala is the area of the brain responsible for pain. Pain is activated in either the right (men) or left (women) hemispheres. The right side is more connected with external stimuli, while the left is more connected to internal stimuli. Women tend to feel pain more intensely than men do because of
this.

7. LEARN LANGUAGES

Women tend to be better at learning languages and are more attuned to words and sounds. This may be why men tend to find it harder to express themselves verbally. It may stem from the increased demand on women over millions of years to cooperate and organize in order to manage large complex tasks.

I remember that you said that to me  10 years ago

8. WOMEN REMEMBER BETTER

Women have tend to have higher activity in their hippo-campus, the region responsible for forming and storing memories, than men do. Studies have shown that women tend to remember
faces, names, objects and events better than men.

9. ASK FOR DIRECTIONS

Men tend to have better spatial-reasoning skills and are better at remembering geographic details. They tend to have a better innate sense of direction and remember where areas and locations are. This ability most likely stems from their days as hunters when men had to navigate long distances without the aid of a map and compass.

10. RISK TAKING

Men tend to be more likely to take risks. Women tend to be more risk averse. Men get a bigger dose of endorphins when they take risks. The bigger the risk, the larger the pleasure derived from the risky behavior. Men may be specialized to take more risks because of early humans’ need to hunt down food which may be larger, stronger and more dangerous than a single man. Hunting is also inherently dangerous as some predator may be stalking you while you are stalking another prey animal.

Girl you know we will get our groove back on this cruise
 look at how the fellahs are looking at us!

11. SEX

Men tend to be more visual in what arouses them, while women tend to be turned on by a combination of things like ambiance, emotions, scents as well as visual perceptions.

Final thoughts:
I often use the words " Gender specific..." when I do that, some women give me that look...
like "what does that really mean".. ... It's mostly said in a good way and even the B.A.D way
can also be good. Men often get a bad rap for being typical men... so ladies, is
he typical or are you typical... We know you are not and neither is he. we are all unique.
But there are similarities in both the sexes.. but surely not many crossover similarities.
We are all gender specific!

Can you recognize a faithful man who is an isolation-lover?

I'm only with YOU babe!

So what does it mean when a man is focused  only on his one and only  lady love? 

The single minded man is one who understands that he has a brain that has separate boxes for everything.. if he puts your image in that main box, for processing,  then he  only accesses that box when you are the one he is thinking about. in a loving way!  

Whereas... a woman  has a mind where she can think about many things almost simultaneously. Men don't really do that  (we can't) . We deal with one thing at a time. Multitasking is different for us, we can do multiple things at the same time but we can't really focus our love for multiple women at the same time..... we turn off the image of the other woman and close that box.... when we open the box that has our main lady's image in it....it's the only box that is open.
Many women might disagree..... because men over the years have gotten a bad rap...for decades ..... when it comes to being  accused of "cheating!" The fact that Porn makes it look so appetizing to us men to have Threesomes etc. If you look carefully only one woman is being serviced  at a time. We can only process one point of pleasure  at a time..... but even though we have an  appetite for multiple flavors... our minds play tricks on us... it leads to our  physical limitation being showcased at the most inopportune times. 
 This keeps many women confused, because women can focus on multiple points of pleasure simultaneously. She can "Oooh and Aaah"  as she is receiving the pleasure  from multiples points. Think about it for a second. If a woman is handling multiples pleasures she can do it because her body and her mind are engaged and is reacting  simultaneously..... while men on the other hand can only do one at a time.....  The Women in the  holding pattern (hovering waiting her turn to be serviced), in a Threesome... will get jealous and frustrated.... because the man is focusing on the other woman and not her while she is watching, and waiting her for turn. Translation:  She is  thinking (in the present time) "he is picking her before me, and is favoring her and pleasing her and not me !" so she feels like she has become the other woman (second or third in the Que, getting the leftovers).  Or is the other woman REALLY the other woman? Once these things are really understood... there will be less conflict,  logically.
When a man comes to grips with his limitations  (he the man who  wants you to be his partner) is unable to cheat on you at the time he is focused on pleasing you, the preferred woman that he loves, simultaneously during the time in the same way he is  services  another woman .
He really Loves and cares mostly about his preference. In the World of " alternative facts, and fake news" we hear differently!

Isn't cheating, lying and keeping secrets...  

We're  all remaining  confused and will remain confused because when women write Love stories in a book, or an article we see things from her perspective, because she did not have a co-author  showing the man's REAL perspective. And when a man who has a vivid imagination expresses his fantasies about the many conquest of multiple women.... he articulates his thoughts  which are  not based on reality, but  fantasies.... it become wonderful images.... based on some crazy alternate reality. Example: We all know that Donald Trump cheated on every wife he ever had. We can look at him and figure out he could not perform at that level consistently , he has money... which is what these other women were attracted to...., NOT him. The private jet, the upper East-side Apt... the fancy restaurants... They were attracted to everything they wanted... he just was able to provide what the average guy could not. 

This is not to say that many men do not cheat... (he is cheating by lying to, and create insecurities in his partners)  but when he cheats he is only  accomplishing one thing .... he is making his woman mad.. he is doing it because he is in the moment in the present time. His open box, has  another image in it... when he get's back to his main box and opens it the other box is closed and will not get opened simultaneously! 

I'm 007 Bond... James Bond... I've made it look easy, but it's all an act! 

I know this does not  make sense to many women who might say: " how does this make me feel better  knowing that my box got closed when he open the other woman's box?"    I understand why you feel the way you do.... because you women  get multiple simultaneously thoughts... and men can't. Now that you are thinking I've lost my mind.... because "Men are the biggest cheaters.. RIGHT?"  Because women are usually on the loosing end when a man cheats....(he denies her security and peace of mind)   Once again you should think out side of the normal.... for second (  while the pictures of cheating men are all over the media). If he was capable of keep multiple women happy simultaneously, we would  try, but, we men  can't please women all the time.  He would not be "Cheating" regularly  because  it's physically impossible to really do it at peak performance...  it is considered cheating... because the open box in his present World is not your box. When a man says:  "it was just sex" when referring to that affair. "It was not Love,"  He didn't  take away from you  in his mind, because you're box(in his brain) was closed! i.e he was not thinking about you! There is also the alternative default, which is  he also has the "nothing box"  which where he  is, when he is most  comfortable..... and women hate that one most!

Can you learn how to cope with a sexless relationship.

I'm NOT going to make it easy for you to NOT want to have sex with me!

"me ferait l'amour ce soir"

'

Apparently, sexless marriages or relationships are very common, these days. A relationship or marriage is considered 'sexless' when a couple goes without having sex for about a year and doesn't really hope for an improvement in the situation. The problem only worsens with age. Of course, there are many couples who claim that companionship scores over sex and not having sex is certainly not the end of the world. Granted, but sexless marriages can also lead to unhappiness, detachment, annoyance and even estrangement. 



Here's how you can cope with it:



Find out what's causing sexless-ness
Needless to say, there can be several factors behind sexless relationships. It can be as simple a reason as work pressure. If both partners are overworked in their professional lives, this can take a toll in their bedroom. There could be medical reasons as well. So the first step to finding a way out of sexless relationship is ascertaining the cause. Once you know what the hurdles are, you can work on negotiating them.


Talk sex
Experts say that many couples, especially married ones, don't discuss the subject as freely as they should. So have frank discussions and share each other's thoughts on why you have stopped having sex regularly. Be patient and listen to each other. If you feel that a relationship counselor or a sex therapist would help you open up, go for a counselling session.

De-stress and get intimate
A no-brain-er, really. Even if both of you have busy work schedules, take time out for weekend getaways or a long vacation. That would certainly help you unwind and give you ample opportunities to rekindle that missing spark.

    
Small steps, not aggression
Experts say that if you feel that you are stuck in a sexless relationship, don't force your partner to cave in to outlandish ideas of initiating sex. Gentle does it. Take small steps to intimacy—holding hands or just kissing can go a long way in bringing back desire and sensuality.

If nothing works
If all your efforts fail, then maybe you have to do some introspection and come to terms with realities. Both of you need to decide whether you are perfectly fine with being sexless in your relationship and let love conquer all other differences. You need to be ready to accept the fact that it can be a deal breaker too. There is some relief in self pleasure!

Ooh mon Dieu c'est si bon! 

Final thoughts: 
When folks think they are no longer interested in having, or can't have,  off-springs they tend to think sex is no longer needed between couples.  They may be thinking this kind of intimate relationships  is counter productive because they will not feel like it's  presenting them  with any returns for their efforts.  so for women who still want some pleasure that their partner are no longer providing.. don't be ashamed to use  "sex toys for women."
 Don't expect too much too fast... remember  "I'm only human"

 

Reasons Why Highly Intelligent Woman Can’t Find Happiness

Am I supposed to  be impressed by what you just said?

Highly intelligent women have a very unique view on life and they very often

feel dissatisfied and unhappy with their lives, even if they have successful

career and a harmonious personal life. If you feel this way and you would

like to know more about it, these are the 6 reasons why you might feel

how you feel.

1. They (women in general) can’t help over-analyzing things

Since highly intelligent women often overthink and over-analyze

even the smallest details, they often feel exhausted because of it.

They might see problems where they don’t exist. This may make

some of these women  feel depressed and no matter how hard

they try there is nothing they can do to change it.

The skill of analyzing things can be useful but not

always, in every situation.... especially in relationships.
Sometimes, just accepting the situation, for how it is,
may help you get a relief and feel more relaxed.

2. They hold everything to their high standards

Highly intelligent women know what they want and what

they expect from anyone including themselves. If those

expectations are not met, they might feel unhappy as a result.

This can apply to any aspect of their life whether it is their

social life, personal life or career.

It is important to understand that in life we don’t always get

what we want and we should settle for less sometimes.

Never feel like it is the end of the world because it is not.

Once you realize that reality is different from your expectations,

you will start to feel much happier!

3. These women are too hard on themselves

Judging yourself too much might also be another reason

for your unhappiness. Because of your tendency to over-analyze

everything, you might also do this with yourself and your behavior.

You might often set too high standards even when it is about you,

and you will feel disappointed if you fail to meet them.

Try not to feel disappointed by thinking of a mistake you

made 10 years ago. You can’t do anything to change the past and

try to accept it as a way of learning. 

Highly intelligent people have a very unique view on life and

they very often feel dissatisfied and unhappy with their lives

even if they have successful career and a harmonious personal life.

If you feel this way and you would like to know more about it,

these are the 6 reasons why you might feel how you feel.

Hmmm is this a problem that you are facing?

4. You Women are setting the bar too high

Highly intelligent women usually dream big and they want to

pursue greatness and to have a big purpose in life. This tendency

to achieve more all the time can drain them from their energy

and make them fail to see the beauty of life if they think it

should be perfect. They should learn how to accept their

life just the way it is and they will feel a lot happier.

5. They find it hard to have a meaningful conversation

with their peers, or men.

Having someone to talk to is very important to us, since

we are social beings. This can help us feel appreciated,

especially when that person understands how we feel.

However, highly intelligent women think others may not

understand them which is why they avoid sharing their

thoughts and feelings with their friends and family. However,

according to scientists, highly intelligent women don’t need

that much socialization compared to others, but it is still

important for them to socialize at least a little.

I'll just do my own thing, no need to be a social butterfly!

6. They often experience psychological problems

Numerous studies have proven the link between high

intelligence and mental disorders such as bipolar disorders

and social anxiety. Some scientists even claim these

disorders come as a side-effect of being a genius.

However, there is still not enough evidence to support

these claims.

This doesn’t mean that all intelligent women have

mental problems, but they are more likely to suffer

from issues such as existential depression probably

because of their habit to over-analyze things.

Final thoughts

Maybe an "old Friend" can make a difference in making you happier.....

if you welcome them into your life.