5/06/2021

Why Younger Women Often Prefer Older Men.

Why is it that older men love dating younger women, and many people don’t think much about it? It doesn’t require any research to realize that they love someone who makes them feel young at heart. However, why is it that the younger women who love to date older guys are often stereotyped? While the research we cite specifically deals with younger women-older gentlemen attraction, some could argue that younger men-older women relationships flourish, as well. However, we will leave the second topic to a separate blog post! ATTRACTION TO AN OLDER MAN Some say that these younger women have daddy issues when they want someone older, but that’s not always the case. Others say they are just interested in money. You must put stereotypes aside and realize that some women love the senior guy because of his maturity. They also crave the worldly wisdom they’ve obtained as well as the financial stability they’ve acquired. Keep in mind that financial stability doesn’t always mean wealth. It just means that they’ve made their blunders at a young age and have already learned the hard financial lessons. Society tends to accept a small age gap, which is anywhere from 5-10 years difference. However, what about the women that date men that are old enough to be their fathers? Is there a limit on age restrictions, and how do you know if the age gap is too much for a relationship? There are both evolutionary and social motives behind a woman wanting an older man. Irrespective of the motive, both parties will have to overcome much stigma and many stereotypes to be together. Many people will stop and gawk when they see an older man holding hands or kissing a younger woman in public. It has to do with cultural norms and what society expects. People passing have no clue about this couple, yet they are ready to make snap judgments on what they see. Psychology Explains Why Younger Women Often Prefer Older MenPSYCHOLOGY EXPLAINS WHY YOUNGER WOMEN OFTEN PREFER OLDER MENyounger women prefer older men Why is it that older men love dating younger women, and many people don’t think much about it? It doesn’t require any research to realize that they love someone who makes them feel young at heart. However, why is it that the younger women who love to date older guys are often stereotyped? While the research we cite specifically deals with younger women-older gentlemen attraction, some could argue that younger men-older women relationships flourish, as well. However, we will leave the second topic to a separate blog post! ATTRACTION TO AN OLDER MAN Some say that these younger women have daddy issues when they want someone older, but that’s not always the case. Others say they are just interested in money. You must put stereotypes aside and realize that some women love the senior guy because of his maturity. They also crave the worldly wisdom they’ve obtained as well as the financial stability they’ve acquired. Keep in mind that financial stability doesn’t always mean wealth. It just means that they’ve made their blunders at a young age and have already learned the hard financial lessons. older men Save Society tends to accept a small age gap, which is anywhere from 5-10 years difference. However, what about the women that date men that are old enough to be their fathers? Is there a limit on age restrictions, and how do you know if the age gap is too much for a relationship? There are both evolutionary and social motives behind a woman wanting an older man. Irrespective of the motive, both parties will have to overcome much stigma and many stereotypes to be together. Many people will stop and gawk when they see an older man holding hands or kissing a younger woman in public. It has to do with cultural norms and what society expects. People passing have no clue about this couple, yet they are ready to make snap judgments on what they see. Many studies have been conducted on these types of relationships, and science has come up with a few answers. THE APPARENT UNFAIR BENEFIT OF AGE In 2018, a study examined why there are so much prejudice and stereotypes when people are involved in age gap relationships. The bias rate was much higher in a relationship where the woman was younger and the man much older. Many think that the man has the upper hand in these unions, which equals relational inequity. Older men that enter a relationship with younger women are often called “cradle robbers,” but the women are called “gold diggers,” both of which are derogatory terms. Other women see the younger lady with an older gentleman, and they perceive that they want a comfortable lifestyle that money and this guy can offer. In other cases, they may insist that it’s the connections and resources they wish to gain to help further their career or obtain a certain social status in life. Not all relationships are about money or influence. In fact, many people are together because they love each other and nothing else. True love doesn’t look at the chronological age and see any difference as it’s more focused on the heart. INTERPERSONAL CONNECTION AND AGE In 2016, a study was done on why some women wanted the older man as a partner. When the age gap is more than ten years, people think it’s an unhealthy relationship with the father. This study wanted to prove or discredit this theory, and they found that it’s not a fair stereotype because there’s no truth in these claims. Of the 173 participants in this study, 44 were dating men at least a decade older than themselves. Most of these women had good relationships with their fathers and did not need to seek solace or a father/daughter relationship with an older man. About 75 percent of the women said that they weren’t looking for a father figure, but they preferred the company of an older man to make them feel secure. If the father had been a great role model for the younger woman in life, then the maturity level they observed growing up brings them comfort in their relationship. YOUNGER WOMEN WANT PLEASANT, AND STRONG RELATIONSHIPS–REGARDLESS OF AGE A couple with any sort of age difference can enjoy a healthy, satisfying, and loving relationship. Regardless of whether there are ulterior motives or one of the parties suffers from past childhood issues, many have strong unions that can stand up against the scrutiny of society. Sure, there are couples where a younger woman wants to date the older man due to ulterior motives or because they are looking for a marriage of convenience. However, it’s unfair to lump all relationships with age gaps in this category. More often than not, people come together because they love each other. FIVE REASONS WHY YOUNGER WOMEN LIKE OLDER MEN It’s easy to see that many women who like older men often do it out of love and not selfish motives. However, what are the reasons why these women prefer someone with a significant age gap between them? Here are the top five reasons why the older man is more appealing. pop meme SAVE 1. STRONG GENETIC PROFILES It’s assumed that younger women are still in their childbearing years. When looking for someone to be the father of a child, you would want someone who ages well, is financially secure, and has his life together. It sure makes it easier than being with someone young who has nothing to offer. They need to feel secure is one of the biggest reasons for the attraction to an older man, though it’s not about how much is in the bank. 2. OLDER MEN HAVE CONFIDENCE An older gentleman has already been through many storms in life and has developed an aura of confidence. They have a great deal of experience and are wise beyond their years. To the young lady who has much to experience in life, it can make things better to be with someone who is well seasoned. It’s hard when you are younger and worry about money. Though the older man may not have great wealth, they probably have a home and a car, which is quite appealing to someone just starting in life. It takes time to really build your career to be able to afford such things. 3. THEY KNOW HOW TO TREAT A LADY Perhaps one of the most appealing things about the older gentlemen is that they know how to treat a lady. Going back even two decades ago, men still opened the doors for the women and treated her like a queen. The older generation lived in vastly different times. Sure, they expect a meal on the table when they get home from work, but they have no problem pampering their princess. The guys these days have a different set of morals and values that is nothing like those born before 1980. A few men show that chivalry is still alive, but it’s very few who practice it. 4. OLDER MEN ARE INTERESTED IN THE MIND TOO These days, people become intimate on the first date. Unless you have something that goes beyond those one-night stands, the relationship may fizzle. Women love intimacy just as much as men, but they want someone interested in their minds too. The older man enjoys good conversation and companionship. While they are interested in a sensual relationship, they are more about finding someone they enjoy talking to over coffee and bonding. 5. THEY’VE GOT STYLE What happened to the days when men knew how to dress like a man? Few women find it attractive when males have their pants hanging two inches below their underwear or holes all in their clothes. Some of the styles of yesteryear should make a comeback as they rival any trend of today. The older man knows how to dress down for a day at the park or a beach, but they also know how to get all fancy for a night on the town. If younger women want the feeling of being a princess, she wants someone who will be her equivalent of a prince. FINAL THOUGHTS ON YOUNGER WOMEN DATING OLDER MEN True love isn’t about age, skin color, wealth, or religion. It’s about a mental, physical, and spiritual connection between two people that conquers all obstacles in their way. Who are we to judge these couples? When it comes to love, variety is the spice of life. One woman may prefer a man in his 50s who loves animals. The next lady may want someone in their 70s with a big bank account that can spoil her. There are all sorts of reasons why people fall in love. But society likes to typecast the traditional relationship and judge those that don’t fit into that mold. If you are lucky enough to find someone in this life that makes you feel better about yourself, gives you a reason to smile, and holds your hand through the darkest days, then you have found a treasure that is far greater than any labels society may give you. While many younger women love men, most do it for the right reasons with no ulterior motives. After all, true love is timeless.

5/02/2021

Privatecy VS secrecy

Are you a private person, or are you, a person who is keeping a secret? You're in a relationship, but you have a crush on someone else. for example: -Your religious parents would disapprove of your spicy sex life. -You're struggling financially, but you don't want your friends to know. Each of these scenarios involves sensitive information that you may not feel comfortable — or safe — sharing with others. You might choose not to divulge such information because you fear being judged or exposing yourself to reprisal. But when is staying quiet a matter of your personal privacy and when is it secret keeping? And does it matter? Hiding versus being unobserved You would think secrecy and privacy are essentially the same.. Hiding versus being unobserved You might think secrecy and privacy are essentially the same, however the difference is much more than a matter of semantics. Secrecy is actually not even closely related to privacy. They just get confused by some people Secrecy is the act of hiding information. Privacy is about being unobserved — being able to have my own experience of life without the eyes of anyone else on me. Regarding privacy, the right to be left alone. Secrets break trust, whereas privacy is simply not sharing certain parts of your life. Everyone needs privacy! Just as humans need social interaction to stay happy and healthy, we also need a certain degree of privacy to function well in society. We are compelled to seek privacy so we can balance out our communal life. We can't fully know ourselves without being alone, for period of time. Individuals who try to limit privacy in relationships are often doing so under a guise of intimacy. Really, it's just an attempt to assert control. Privacy ends up causing trouble with people who are insecure. They see privacy as a threat to their direct access to their spouse or their partner. According to psychotherapist , privacy is actually very healthy in relationships, and oversharing can be a boundaries issue. It's important to establish healthy relationships with people before revealing too much private information with them," she said. Secrets are motivated by fear and shame Whereas privacy feels like a choice, people who have secrets often feel compelled by fear or shame to keep them hidden. When you keep something secret, it's because of fear. Perhaps you're afraid someone won't like you or that they'll shame you. Or maybe you think revealing a secret will have serious consequences, like you might get fired or a relationship might end. Unfortunately, keeping secrets tends to make problems worse. Secrets lead to more fear and shame. The longer people hide them, the more difficult it is to reveal them. People often keep secrets to protect themselves. Many believe that if their secrets were revealed, they would be exposed and people would leave, or worse. The word we use is 'compartmentalized' — one part of their life is over here and one part is over there, and they don't meet. Secrets are harmful to your overall well-being While the act of keeping a secret can be generally unpleasant, it may also have a negative impact on your daily life. keeping secrets can lead to increased fatigue, decreased task persistence and performance, and an overall lower level of well-being. Another study led by Michael Slepian has found that the act of suppressing, harboring or being preoccupied by secrets can even feel like a physical burden. As the researchers succinctly conclude, "secrets weigh people down." Intimacy requires trust The average person holds approximately 13 secrets at any given moment, five of which they have never revealed to another person, Slepian's research has shown. People who keep profound secrets can have a hard time feeling close to anyone. "They always have a reason to doubt that anyone really cares about them or whether they are worthy," Weiss said. A deep friendship is about being known. When I keep a meaningful secret, I am cutting myself off from intimacy in the relationship. I'm saying I don't trust the relationship enough to let you in. Opening up So, should you share a secret with someone? If the person would be angry or feel betrayed having discovered the information from some other source, go and share it with them. That secret is damaging your ability to relate and to connect. However, Weiss advises you to use caution and not rush out to tell your secrets. Seek guidance from a professional first — a lawyer, therapist, accountant, or whoever. I don't think if you have a secret you're in a position to do it by yourself. If you decide to open up, be prepared for a long road ahead. Once trust is broken due to the keeping of secrets, it's not easily rebuilt. It can be repaired with reliable, honest behavior over time. If you can do that, you demonstrate to me that you want to restore my trust.
Final thoughts 1. Privacy is a right; secrecy is not. 2. Secrecy undermines relationships; privacy enhances them. 3. A lack of privacy makes us uncomfortable; a lack of secrecy sets us free. 4. Privacy establishes healthy boundaries; secrecy builds walls. 5. Secrecy generally has an unhealthy motive; wanting privacy does not. 6. Secrets lead to increased stress; privacy can be a stress reliever. 7. Secrets, if discovered, may result in a negative consequence for another person. for the sake of your relationship... Let’s be sure to pay attention to the difference between privacy and secrecy in our relationships. And let’s do our best to be kind and compassionate to ourselves and others as we reflect on what we may be able to do to nurture relationships with those we hold most dear, always remembering, we are so much more than enough.

Never question a woman's motives during an argument

Let’s face it—if you’ve been married long enough, and even if you not married, you’re bound to argue with your woman about something. And it doesn’t matter how big or how small the disagreement is. It’s not a question if it will happen, but when, but how you choose to argue that can prevent a molehill of a disagreement from turning into a Mount Everest of an argument. Here are some things you should never do during an argument with a woman—especially your wife. 1. Hit her hot buttons. The reason little disagreements with our wives easily escalate into full-blown arguments is we both know how to hit each other’s hot buttons. These are buttons that usually trigger a negative emotion. And we know what they are because we know our wives’ secrets, struggles, and scars. To push her buttons is like “hitting below the belt” in boxing, and in boxing, it’s illegal. So the last thing a man should do in an argument with his wife is sucker punch her by touching on her fears, doubts, insecurities, father wounds, or trauma from past relationships. 2. Involve the innocent. One of the easiest mistakes we can make in an argument with our wives is to involve innocent bystanders. This means you should resist the urge to tell the people closest to you, especially your parents (or siblings), about the argument—at least until you’ve had some time to cool down. This is important, because if you let your emotions get the best of you and you accidentally tarnish your wife’s reputation, the people you tell may not be as willing or ready to forgive your wife as you are. When you run to the people you love, their first reactions, typically, are to protect and defend you, not to protect our wives’ reputations. Remember, that’s your job. 3. Share it with immature friends. The only thing worse than jeopardizing your wife’s reputation by telling innocent bystanders about your argument is sharing your argument with immature friends. And when I say “immature,” I’m not talking about age. I’m talking about friends (especially other women) who don’t have your wife’s best interest at heart. My rule of thumb after any argument with my wife is only to share our conflict with people who are part of the solution and who will fight for our marriage as if it were their own. Also, being careful and discerning about who you share your arguments with also can prevent unnecessary arguments in the future. 4. Raise the dead. When you’re in the middle of a heated argument with your wife, resist the urge to drag an old issue into your present discussion. Yes, I know she may do it to you, but like Gandhi once said, “Taking an eye for an eye will leave both people blind.” In other words, two wrongs won’t ever make your relationship right. Bringing up past issues from past arguments potentially can trigger emotional wounds in your wife that may not have fully healed. This is especially true if she’s still feeling the guilt and shame of a past mistake. Instead, try to keep the current issue the main issue and let the past issue rest in peace. 5. Sit and save. One way to avoid bringing up past issues in an argument is to avoid sitting on the issue and saving it for later. Men who are conflict avoiders or “people pleasers” usually struggle with this the most. Ignoring, wishing, and hoping an issue with your wife conveniently goes away is a recipe for a relationship disaster. “Fight for your relationship, not with each other.” Avoiding tough conversations only will lead to escalated arguments because of the tendency to stockpile anger, bitterness, and frustration toward your wife. So instead, wisely confront the issue early, because if you don’t, that proverbial elephant in the room potentially could turn into a lion and devour the both of you. Arguments, disagreements, and conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but they don’t ever have to destroy your marriage. So, fight for your relationship, not with each other.

4/29/2021

Is she or is she not smiling, is it her secret weapon?

Most women shudder at the thought of leaving the house without a carefully applied layer of foundation, lipstick, and mascara. Spending hours in front of the mirror and splashing on expensive cosmetics, as it turns out, however, could all be a waste of time. According to research, wearing makeup does little to boost a woman’s attractiveness. In fact, scientists say that the trick to appearing more attractive to others have more to do with a person’s facial expressions and natural looks—particularly their smile. If they have dimples they look youthful for many years into the future.
Studies show that people think they already know someone if that person smiles at them,from behind a mask, even if it's an absolute stranger. The theory: Scientists believe the need to bond is rooted in our evolutionary past. Survival was more likely when people combined forces, so humans acquired the smile as a way to signal friendliness and to induce an agreeable sense of shared history, whether there was one or not. Today, when someone smiles, a glum mood is lifted, an apology is accepted, a person's shaky self-confidence gets a boost, a deal is struck, a physical attraction is communicated. But change the cast of a smile and the consequences shift. A rival grins to get under your skin; a bully smirks to unsettle his mark. Understanding the nuances helps ensure that you send—and receive—the right mouth message. Here, some intriguing insights about this familiar gesture. Outer Smile, Inner Darkness Ironically, a smile can express contempt. Bullies—whether they're on the playground or in the office—may want the recipients to see their glee and realize their malevolent intent. The result is a conscious disconnect between outward expression and inner feelings. Other times, the disconnect may be unconscious, the result of pushing aside negative feelings. A person may have heard as a child that enraged feelings should never be expressed, so even the slightest inkling of anger is covered with a smile. The Most Powerful Expression Even a fleeting smile has the capacity to burrow deep into the subconscious of the person who sees it and set off positive changes from within. For example, a smile of just a mere four-hundredths of a second (what researchers refer to as subliminal priming) is enough to produce a mini emotional high in others; it makes people see things around them in a more positive light. Boring material becomes more interesting, or a nondescript picture seems to have more flair. Indeed, researchers have found that some foods even taste better when preceded by a subliminal smile. And what's more, these expressions are contagious: In one study, when participants were exposed to these smiles—even though they couldn't remember seeing them—their own faces mirrored what they "saw."

4/28/2021

Tell her your truths.

A lot of times, men experience shame and shame is a part of disconnection. When we men feel that we are not good enough, which is an illusion, the idea in order for connection to happen, we have to let ourselves be seen. So vulnerability is scary, especially when we feel like you’re going to judge us. Let me repeat this. Shame is a part of disconnection. When you feel that you’re not good enough, the idea in order for connection to happen, we have to let ourselves be seen. So, vulnerability then becomes scary because underneath you being seen means that they’ll see thatwe are not good enough. They’ll see that you believe that you are not good enough. So then that shame causes your disconnection. So then that shame is the mask of inauthenticity, so we follow tactics. So we follow things that are going to be on the surface level, but don’t get down to the root, to improve who we are overall, so we can be the best person that we can be in our lives. but not showing our truths. The ability to feel connected is why we’re all here biologically. Life shows this. The ability to feel connected is why we are here. It shows. .wwomen often talk so much about conscious vulnerability and vulnerability. as a man I've not talked a lot about conscious vulnerability , especially with other men. I’m not going to say “talk sbouy all your feelings, show the girl how you romanticize her, bring her roses, bring her this,” heck freaking no. But what I will tell you is that if you have that underlying feeling of shame as part of your disconnect because of some trauma, failure triggers, things that you have hidden because you don’t feel good enough abou them, but it is alright to admit that your previous relationships have bombed but yet you think you have to shine, bling, get a great car, get a great job, be seen with these really great women and show off. If something inside of you is still not connecting because you haven’t been able to let yourself be seen because vulnerability seems scary and you are afraid you might come off as needy. So, what makes someone become vulnerable and connect to you? You may ask, and again,The courage to be imperfect, you have compassion to be kind to yourself more than others. The truth is if we can’t be compassionate towards ourselves, we can’t be compassionate towards others. There’s no way. So, I ask you today to choose courage to be imperfect and to figure out why you are hiding behind this? Especially if it’s hard for you to connect and be vulnerable, especially if we’ve already made the decision to think that vulnerability is a weakness.... because it’s not. Actually, vulnerability is a strength. I’ll tell you one thing here. I know what vullnerable feels like. You will feel relieved when you tell her what she should know about your secet pasts

How to Stop Being Needy and Get The Girl You Want by being vulnerable!

There are times where you’re probably wanting to share emotion and you’re scared that if you say something that you’re going to come off as being needy dude and that this is not going to get a woman to like you. In this post, I’m going to talk about exactly how to emotionally connect with a woman and how to really own your masculine power by understanding what conscious vulnerability is and how to not be needy. Because neediness comes from a place of scarcity and conscious vulnerability comes from abundance. I want you to not judge and have an open mind when reading this.
So if she is looking you in the eyes it shows you have her full attention So fellah What vulnerability is not, it is not a sign of weakness, but instead it might be your greatest strength. Now, there is such a difference between vulnerability being shared at someone’s expense or the expense of someone else sharing their vulnerability to be informative. So, vulnerability does not mean that you have to spill all your deepest, darkest secrets. That’s not what vulnerability is. Vulnerability is not that one thing that keeps us out of connection, it’s that we feel that we are not worthy. Vulnerability is that one thing that keeps us in connection. And then the reason why we sometimes feel like we can’t connect is because we think we may come off as needy and then we don’t feel that we’re worthy. We have this facade or this feeling or this dynamic or this mindset that this thing vulnerability will keep us out of connection and it’s not true. When we discuss vulnerability, a lot of times we look at connection as though I want to connect with this person, I just don’t know how, because we try to mask our vulnerability because we believe it may make us look needy. So, if we mask our vulnerability, one thing that keeps us out of connection is that we are not worthy of connection, and we feel that we’re not worthy of connection because it’s hard for us to open up. It’s hard for us to share vulnerability and with my friends, I always tell them, Share vulnerability in minor doses, especially if it’s not something that you’ve done before.

Is She Playing you?

If you find yourself asking yourself, “Is this woman playing with my emotions?” The answer is probably YES. Now, there are times where you can be in a dating scenario and a woman’s not calling you back. She’s saying she likes you, but then she doesn’t show any affection towards you and you’re thinking to yourself, “Is she playing with my emotions?” Well, in this case, she is just inconsistent and she’s probably not ready. The number one key takeaway here guys in regards to a woman playing with your emotions is understanding that you are capable of giving your emotions to the right person. When we start to give our emotions to the wrong person, it’s because we’re not doing the necessary work, because we’re not setting the tone, because we don’t know our standards, because we don’t have boundaries, right? And so we underhandedly try to prove to a woman that we’re the right guy, or we underhandedly try to fix the situations, try to resolve her issues, but yet we haven’t resolved what we needed to resolve inside, which is self-love, which is why are we giving yourself to someone who won’t appreciate us? Right? That’s the question. I Got Played! What Do I Do Next? There’s so much advice out there that’s like, “Oh, she’s playing with your emotions if she doesn’t call back.” Look guys, it’s literally just surface-level stuff. This is real simple shit guys! And I’m telling you this because I don’t want this to happen to you anymore. I want you to be in a vibrant relationship. I want you to be in a happy relationship. I want you to conquer the woman you want, get whatever it is that you want, and be the healthiest person that you can be. Now, if a woman is taking a step back and says, maybe you’re a little bit too much or too… she doesn’t want the same things you do at that moment. If she says something along the lines of, “we’re going too fast”, this is not playing with your emotions. This is being upfront. This is being very deliverable in her communication with you and that’s a sign of something you may need to work on with yourself in order to pull back as well. I’m not saying that you’re always the one to blame here, but the only thing is we are in control of our actions and how we enable other people. If the question “Is She Playing with My Emotions?” has crossed your mind before, and if you find yourself in scenario number one or number two , I challenge you to really dig deep within yourself and figure out if you’re putting yourself first. Or you are putting her on too high a podium.