Believe it or not there are traits men love about women more than their good looks

 Everyone appreciates someone with good looks. Appearance isn’t everything, however. There are things that men find particularly appealing in women that go way beyond their looks. Of course, a lot of men are drawn in first by what they see on the outside. On the other hand, some men become attracted to women by things other than their looks.

In fact, some men find these particular traits more appealing than their appearance altogether. Ladies, if you’re wondering what it is that draws men to you – or, even, if you’re wondering what you can do to attract more positive men into your life – consider enhancing or working on these traits within yourself. They’re all positive (+++++) – so you’ll feel better about yourself, and your relationships all around will benefit!

+1. GOOD PERSONALITY

To me this seems like a no-brainer, because everyone likes someone with a good personality. However, a charming personality with a sense of humor can supersede men’s interest in outward appearances altogether. Being able to connect with someone is a basic human need and having a personality that meshes with your own is a great way to form a real and lasting connecting.

A sense of humor goes hand-in-hand with a good personality. Being able to laugh at yourself (with or at him) – in a good-natured manner will make the both of you feel good and more comfortable around one another. If you’re laid back, like to joke, and love to laugh, many men will be absolutely charmed, and you’ll find yourself starting to form a very good connection.

Wow a good morning, E-mail from him.

+2. GOOD LISTENER

Listening requires more than just hearing what a person is saying and waiting for your turn to enter the conversation. An active listener takes in what their partner is saying and processes it and offers feedback and conversation on the words that were said to them. Some of us men have trouble with this, but all men appreciate a woman who is a good listener.

When you demonstrate active listening skills, your partner will be more likely to reciprocate, because they feel like they’re being heard. Being a good listener will benefit you not just in your love life, but in all areas of your relationships, both familial and platonic.

+3. COMPROMISING

Men appreciate women who are willing to compromise and negotiate on an issue. Staying rigid in something is a good way to cause stress and tension in any type of relationship, but especially a romantic one. Compromising doesn’t mean giving up your stance altogether, however. It also doesn’t mean conceding to everything your man wants!

Compromising is working together to find a solution that benefits both parties – and compromising works both ways! Compromising benefits a relationship in the long run, and gives you the skills to communicate and work through your problems

let's make a toast to SPONTANEITY

+4. SPONTANEITY

If you’re the type of woman who needs to make lists and schedules and have everything planned out to the second, you might want to consider loosening up just a tiny bit. Being able to roll with the punches and take mishaps in stride is a trait many men adore in a woman. Being spontaneous is also about random acts of love, kindness, appreciation. It’s also about being able to enjoy when your man plans a surprise vacation or shows up with flowers at your office. Being spontaneous is one of the ways to keep all the spark alive in a relationship.

+5. ACCOMPLISHED

Women who own what they do and wear their accomplishments with pride are the kind of women... men find attractive regardless of outward looks. This doesn’t mean you have to have a prestigious job or an impressive CV – it just means that you know what you want and aren’t afraid to go out and get it. Being happy with who you are and feeling fulfilled in your life is enough to pique a man’s interest.

There’s nothing more appealing than a woman who knows who she is and what she wants out of life, regardless of what that may be. Knowing that you’re capable of achieving your dreams will make you feel good as well! Being confident in who you are will boost how you feel and be a positive force in all your relationships. Men may be notorious in media and pop culture for only caring about looks – but that couldn’t be further from the truth (mature men, want what no one else sees). There are plenty of things about women we  mature men adore, and these are all traits that can be found in anyone, regardless of gender! Recognize the things in yourself that make you attractive beyond your appearance. Once you’re able to harness them, you’ll be irresistible to the men in your life, and you’ll attract more positive influences to surround yourself with.

I'm trying not show him that I'm into him...
. but it is hard

Final thoughts

Just a few thought that came to mind while writing this blog....We guys who pay more attention to a woman’s smile, eyes, hair, lips, breasts, hips, or legs, initially. While this might sound like objectification, some neuroscientists believe men’s biological wiring equate a woman’s desirability to their physical traits first, before anything else.

Men love the way women make such cozy little spoons. A woman's body just fits so perfectly into ours at night. Spooning is so underrated. . Men find it attractive when women aren't afraid to cry or be some what emotional.

Being someones Second choice is never going to make you feel comfortable

 When you are a second choice in a relationship, you aren’t the person they calls all the time. They may have other mates that they hang out with and might be keeping you on the line for when their first option is busy. Moreover, if you are a second choice, you are being treated as an option.

A Synonyms for second choice include second best, inferior, minor,
second class, second-rate, mediocre, substandard, middling, indifferent and poor. 

You Don’t want to be someone’s second choice because you won’t be able to forget your place in line. Even when you try to. Even when you do such a good job of convincing yourself everything is fine. Because everything isn’t fine. You were a second choice, and part of you will just continue burning when you think about who came first.

You just can’t. At the end of the day, you blame yourself instead because you don’t seem to be enough for them no matter how much you try. You are always available and you think they prefer to be with someone else.

How do you keep from being the second choice?

How does one keep from being the second choice though? By not holding back (i.e. by being confident) and by not being afraid to be  vulnerable. 2 years before I met my wife, I asked another woman to marry me, in N.Y.. She declined. My  now ex-wife once made the comment that she felt like she was my second choice. well to honest she was and I was still hedging my bet that the N.Y option was still possible if I returned to N.Y from Chicago. I never went back to N.Y.  to live so I did not see the first option again.

YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIKE YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH.

Imagine you are a dish on the menu of a restaurant that someone you love is about to dine in. she/He likes to order a beef stake because that is her/his favorite food of all time, but since it is out of stock, the only option he/she can order is a fish fillet. No matter how much she/he likes to eat steak because it is not available as of the moment, so she/he will settle for the fish fillet. Yes, you are thinking the right thing. You as her/his second option, you will always be the fish fillet. You will never be her/his first choice.

Maybe you think that she/he loves you too and you might probably be right. However, whatever feelings she/he may have for you, it will never be as intense as to how she/he is feeling the love with the other person. Because of this, you will always feel like something is missing in you that only that other girls/dudes can fulfill. It will be a terrible feeling for you to commit yourself to someone who is not even sure about you. Everything you feel will not be as complete as her/his favorite person.

2. INSECURITIES WILL BUILD UP IN YOUR HEART.

Knowing you are a second option, you know for sure that she/he can’t be entirely in love with you. This will lead to a lot of insecurities about your body and all your ways. Whether you know who they are into, you can’t help yourself thinking how perfect she was for him. You are always going to look at yourself in the mirror, trying to improve your flaws.

Final thought

Being someone’s second choice is never a good feeling. You may feel happy for a short period of time, but it will never be enough to complete the whole inside you. Whatever situation you might be at for  the moment, whether you are someone’s second option while they are dating or committed to someone else, it will not do you any good to become her/his second choice.

Maybe you are already in love with this person and can’t do anything to help yourself just walk away from the situation, or perhaps you still think he/she can get away from their relationship and choose you instead in the future. Well, you should never settle for less. Love is like a competition where everyone is aiming for the first place. If you know for yourself that your place is next to first, then maybe you can do better next time. You should not settle for anything that makes you a second choice. No one will ever remember a second prize, and that is you. There will never be a perfect, but you can always worth it to someone meant for you. If you still don’t have many reasons to walk away from being someone’s second choice!

Just to clear I have never felt like I was someone's second choice. If I was I never knew about it.

Guys need to speak to women and make them feel comfortable

 

Stop asking me so many questions

I sat at a table a little away off  from a couple on a date. and listened to part of their conversation. One of the things I noticed that the woman was getting irritated at the questions the guy was asking.

Let me turn the table on you
 and ask you the same kind of questions you wanted to ask me

The guy had his phone in hand and he read the questions he wanted answer to.  She didn't like it at all. His cross- examination was not really giving her a comfortable feeling. I know what he was doing. he wanted to impress her with his command of the English language so he read the questions which made him sound like an educated dude. 

She answered a few of the questions then wanted to ask him him some of the written questions, so she took command of his phone.

Lets toast to a fresh start
of having just a simple conversation

we guys speak street lingo most of the time. so we are not always ready to speak proper English to a lady, that we want to impress., some need a script to follow. Women usually want to just talk and not be  interviewed.

example:

So you're meeting an internet stranger in a bar and, naturally, you want to gauge right away if they could be a serial killer. Maybe the dude in question posted only one Tinder picture wherein his eyes were visible, and that single shot betrayed a sort of emotional dead zone; maybe the woman you've been chatting with keeps bringing the conversation back to unsolved murders and the different kinds of knots she can tie (sounds like a keeper, tbh). Maybe you want to just very quickly pin down whether or not this stranger is danger, so you hit them with a bunch of rapid-fire questions to establish a context, a background, a few opportunities to fact-check the information they've previously divulged over text. But before you know it, the first date starts feeling like an interview, or a quiz, and your date seems miffed.

Your desire to avoid stranger danger is not misplaced, but many people aren't going to like or appreciate the feeling of being interrogated — especially by someone they've just met. It can feel invasive, stressful, and wholly antithetical to the natural flow of a first conversation, but so many of us do it when we're excited or nervous. If you're looking for love or even just sex, though, you don't want to drive away prime candidates.

"One of the most common complaints I get after a first date is that it felt like a job interview," Question after question, almost a total interrogation. Leaving no room for chemistry or romance.

None of us wants to make the first impression of having not even a modicum of chill, and probably each of us would prefer not to feel backed into a corner when we still have three quarters of our beer to finish. So here's how experts say you can make a first date feel less like a quiz.

guys, Maybe you are going into the date with a certain number of things you want to know, possibly a catalogue of deal breakers you'd like to check immediately because you're busy and need to stick to the agenda. Resist the impulse to check boxes.

Don’t come in with a script, a list of questions to ask or answer, If you have a script that you are planning to get through you’re not leaving yourself open to pick up on emotion and create a connection or give off emotion and vulnerability. It is the stories and tangent conversations between questions that truly enable individuals to build connections with one another."

In other words, let your date take the time to respond to a question you ask, and listen to their answer. Take that as a jumping off point for your next comment.

You may be aching to ask how many people your date has slept with — but don’t. Not on the first date, or second or maybe third," New York–based relationship and etiquette expert of Relationship Advice  "You may want to know how much money they make — but don’t ask on a first date. And you may want to know what kind of debt your partner has, but don’t come right out and ask this on a first date."

Sure, there are pieces of information you might find critical to assessing a person's long-term potential, but this is a first meeting and not a marriage test. No one wants to talk credit scores instead of what should be casual banter. There are certain questions that can turn a nice first date into the definition of awkward, situation, because they’re inappropriate for someone you’re just getting to know."

 

when a woman isn't as kind as her mother was.. do you think to yourself you made a mistake in choosing her

 

There are many reasons why relationships fall apart these days.

here are just a few:

1. Trust Issues. The lack or loss of trust is one of the most harmful impediments to a couple's long-term success. 
2. Different Expectations. 
3. Moving Through Life at Different Speeds. 
4. Communication Issues. 
5. Life Habit Abuse. 
6. Sense of Growing Apart. 
7. Financial Issues.

What is the most common reason relationships fail?

The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and too little intimacy.

Most of us want to meet and settle down with the “right” person, and most of us want such a relationship to last. At the same time, the majority of romantic partnerships end in dissolution.

When a guy meets a woman's family (her mother is the most important person in her life) so the guy pays close attention to the mothers personality. If he sees what kind of woman her mother is and likes her. He assumes the daughter might  be somewhat the same. But these two women might  be Worlds apart. Looking alike does not mean they are alike. If you read the signs incorrectly you might be in for a big surprise.

A Dysfunctional mother-daughter relationships can come in many forms. Often it can take form in criticism, where a daughter feels like she's constantly getting negative feedback from her maternal figure. Sometimes, it can take the form of detachment. “Some women are simply not close to their mothers. 

Daughters often look to their mothers as role models and understandably want their mothers' support and approval. When their mothers are unable to provide that support and approval, daughters can experience feelings of emptiness or anxiety.

What are signs of mommy issues in females.

Common signs of "mommy issues."

• Clinginess. 
• Being demanding or critical. 
• Struggles with affection. 
• Lack of independence. .
• Detachment. .
• Excessive caretaking. 
• A tense relationship with her mom. her mother may try to make the daughter feel guilty for being different and may consistently try to change her. This can lead the daughter to feel that they are often disappointing their mother and often trying to please without success. This can lead to arguments, resentment and overall an unhealthy relationship. Which can lead to unhealthy relationships with the man she chooses.   

Fiinal thougths

It’s not unusual for mother-daughter relationships to feel the strain as both parties navigate from a parent /child relationship to both being independent adults. It’s to be expected. We still live in a society, in a world, that really doesn’t listen to women! So mothers and daughters play that out in their relationship – the inequality and the sexism and the violence and other experiences that women have. believes society sets up mother-daughter relationships to fail – by expecting women to silence themselves and put their own needs last.

Are you feeling like you’re the best version of yourselves when you are able to make your partner happy.

 

When it comes to having success in relationships, it’s important to be able to relate to your partner and see eye-to-eye. Compatibility is based on many factors, but looking at the signs that are compatible with your zodiac sign is a fun and easy way to get an idea of whether you'll click or clash with someone on a surface level. The astrological compatibility between zodiac signs could even serve as an indicator for a deeper kind of connection — whether it’s romantic or platonic.

Some people are just really hard to get to know. It’s not that they aren’t friendly — if you talk to them, they’re responsive and nice. You may even get along with them really well. However, you can’t help but feel like you don’t actually know them. Although everyone has their reasons for not opening up to others, a person’s zodiac sign can reveal if playing things close to the chest is just part of their personality. The most guarded zodiac signs may take a minute to warm up to someone new, but are keen friends once you earn their trust.

Whether it’s a first date or a date well into a marriage, creating an excellent date can win her heart or breathe new life into a stale relationship. If you want a successful date, it’s going to take both your right and left brain to pull it off. Utilize your creativity, but also thoughtfully plan and consider what’s important to her.

Planning a date doesn’t have to be hard, but it does require paying attention to her. If you want to execute a date and make it special, you have listen to what she says and pay attention to her nonverbal cues.

The following are some ways to make a date special:

1. Do Some Research

The good news is you don’t necessarily have to read a book or scour the internet. Just as I mentioned earlier, your goal is to research her. What kind of activities gets her excited? What kind of food does she like the most? What kind of atmosphere brings her to life?

After you discover her tastes and interests, then you can find the perfect activity. One of the first things I discovered about my my last girlfriend is that she loves vegetarian food. After talking to my vegetarian friends, they pointed me to a restaurant called Café Gratitude. She’d never been before, and it’s now one of her favorite spots. Maybe she loves Italian? Download Yelp, and discover the nearest Italian restaurants with the best reviews. You can also find out the favorite items on the menu as well.

2. Choose Something Active

Dinner and a movie is great every once in awhile, but why not consider a date that activates all of the senses by doing something or creating something together?  I started a dating list with some fun and active ideas, but some of the most special moments  I have together with women I had fun with are simple things like taking a walk around the neighborhood or going on a hike. Activities take away the need to check the phone, and focus the date on each other. For those of you guys who have physical touch as a love language, active dates provide more opportunities.

3. Plan It

It’s crazy, but something as easy as making a dinner reservation makes a big difference to women, so my recommendation would be to not just show up. Take a few minutes, and plan in advance. Make reservations, find out important information, and when you arrive, you’ll know what’s up. That’s a turn-on to women because it also shows you are a man who is a protector and a provider; a man in control. Women want a man with a plan, a guy who has his ducks in order.

4. Make it Memorable

Finally, enjoy the work you’ve created. Engage the right brain. Focus on what she is saying, ask questions, and get to know her for the first time (if you’re already married or are in a long term relationship, make her feel like you’re getting to know her for the first time). Once again, go back to the little things that matter most. Play her favorite song, or listen to her playlist. Find a song that will define the date, and just maybe the relationship. "You just to good to be true" is an old school song that the lyrics might just touch her fantasy of a perfect date. 

Final thoughts

When you try to impress someone, it almost always comes off as a bit unnatural. After all, your date isn't there to hear your achievement stats, or listen wide-eyed as you give yourself a glowing review. They just want to get to know you, and have a natural back and forth conversation.

But this can be tricky, especially if you know the importance of first impressions. I would compare a first date to going on a job interview, as really you are interviewing each other in a way, to see if you might be compatible, Research suggests that an employer has already decided in the first minute of meeting you if they would consider hiring you. This is how quickly people make impressions, and how it shows the little things mean a lot to many people."

If that notion freaks you out, remember it's all the more reason to show up on a date knowing exactly how to give off a good impression. (Hint: it's all about confidence, positivity, and actually talking to your date.)

Chivalry is a concept from the medieval period, therefore it's dead

 

I am your knight on a white horse

Women complain a lot that chivalry is dead and that there are no true gentlemen left in the world. But, chivalry is a concept from the medieval period that dictated the behavior between two warriors.

The code of chivalry only relates to women in that women were a man’s property (either daughter or wife) and what a warrior needed to do so as not to offend his host or liege lord by not taking liberties with the women of the house.

The idea of the gentleman grew out of the aristocracy and the chivalric code when firearms made the knight obsolete. With their purpose (waging war) taken away from them, the aristocracy had to justify their existence and maintain their warlike demeanor even though they were rarely called upon to fight. Out of this grew the idea of personal honor and the willingness to fight at the drop of a hat for any offense, real or perceived. Throw women into the mix, and men were fighting and killing or dying to protect a woman’s honor.

Remember that this time period had very little law and order, and women in particular had very few rights as they were still seen as property. During this time, minstrels were touring Europe and singing ballads about the deeds of chivalrous knights and their romances with (often unavailable) women.

These stories were very, very different from the true state of things and were essentially romance novels, songs, and poems of the period.

Well, what does all this history have to do with the modern world? Those same warped ideas about chivalry have been passed down through the generations through stories, books, plays, movies, and television. The intersection between this romantic fantasy and the modern world where men and women are equals leads to the ten reasons why most women don’t find a true gentleman.

I am your above average Selfie King.

1. The tale of ‘Prince Charming’

Women are raised to expect a prince charming to sweep them off their feet and carry them into a magical land where they are rich and royal and live happily ever after. As fantasies go, it isn’t bad, but it is completely unrealistic on almost every level. This is beyond the means of 99.99% of men on the planet and yet movies, TV shows and books sell this plot line to women relentlessly.

Why?

Because it sells. It is a fantasy that women want and when reality doesn’t come close to meeting this fantasy, some women become embittered. Especially when women fall for narcissistic manipulators pretending to be Prince Charming who use those women and cast them aside.

2. The idea that women need to be rescued

Men, on the other hand, are expected to rush to a woman’s aid at the drop of a hat only to be shuffled off into the friend zone. Sometimes a man goes out of his way to help a woman, only to be told, “I don’t need your help, I can do it myself.”

Women have been told for the last fifty years that they are equals and can do anything a man can do. If you want knights back, then ladies have to encourage it. Men know that women are their equals already.

3. The Pay-to-Play Fallacy

Gentleman should always pay for the date except for when a woman is specifically taking the man out, and that is established before the date commences. But, it is generally understood that the man will pay for everything when on the date, no questions asked. Dinner? Sure. Dancing after? Absolutely. Movie? No problem. After years on the dating scene, gentleman will be able to tell the difference between women who are sincerely interested in a relationship, and those who are using men to subsidize their lifestyles(there are a lot of them these days).

With the proliferation of dating apps, a woman in a reasonably sized city could get a date every night of the week. That is hundreds of dollars a week in free meals and entertainment. A gentleman isn’t stupid. So, these women are left with those men who are just as shallow, materialistic and selfish as they are and complain that chivalry is dead. It isn’t dead. A gentleman isn’t going to be your next sucker either. If you want a nice gentleman, then you have to be a lady in return. Be sincere, gracious and honest with yourself about why you are on that date.

4. Holding out for “the one”

If there is a one for you, they are probably slinging noodles in Shanghai. There are over eight billion people on the planet. The odds that the ONE goes to the same gym as you is beyond ludicrous. So stop using that Mr. Perfect who resides in the matrix of your fantasies to judge all men against. No one can live up to your idea of “THE ONE,” and so the men you go out with will fall short of your totally unrealistic expectations. No one is perfect, not even you.

If I sit high enough she will see  me

5. Putting financial security ahead of love.

It is almost a joke that women all want to marry a doctor, lawyer or someone with another high-paying career. See, the thing is, doctors and lawyers are heavily invested in their jobs and have horrible working hours, which means they don’t have time for you or your needs. They can throw cash at you in the form of jewelry, clothes or cars. But, you might find that you are incredibly lonely. Maybe you should have given that sweet history teacher who gave you his coat on a cold night a chance. You might struggle a little more financially, but you might have found a true gentleman who made you happy.

6. Immature male behaviors

What girl doesn’t want to land a guy whose family is loaded? The problem with these guys is that they never earned their own way. They were given the best education, fancy cars and had just about every whim catered to them because their parents were too busy making that fortune they are now enjoying. See, the thing is, he doesn’t know the value of anything because he hasn’t had to earn it, fight for it or struggle through heavy odds to achieve anything.

He also doesn’t value you. You are a trophy to him, something he collects, something he will most likely discard once you wreck your body giving him children. That is what you can look forward to, being replaced by a younger model. He does it with his cars; why not with you? After all, you are just another possession to him.

I will let her drive the one I'm not driving currently

7. The Beauty who looks for her Beast

People don’t really change. If he acts like a beast, it is because he is a beast on the inside as well as the outside, and you are not going to change him. Violence, rage, screaming and abuse are fine in a story on the big screen, but in real life, no one should have to endure that. Find someone who is gentle with you and treats you like the lady you are. Don’t expect a beast to be anything but a beast.

8. Expecting other people to change

You have been kissing a lot of frogs to find your prince. But, that is not how it works. You shouldn’t go into a relationship already expecting a man to change into something he is not already. Do people change over time? Sure. But don’t expect a man to suddenly change into “THE ONE” (see above) just because you kissed him.

Tarzan is a fancy I 'm not a fancy

9. The Tarzan Fallacy

You think that taking some wild man out of his natural habitat, whether that is an African jungle or the concrete jungle, and enlightening him with your civilized ways is a good idea. Then go right ahead, but understand this. He will always be that wild man in his heart. So, if you don’t want a wild animal who swings from the vines and wrestles gorillas, then maybe you need to revisit your motives for wanting to change him. Is it to suit your needs so that he will fit into your world? Or is it because you think you can polish those rough edges? Don’t go into a relationship expecting him to turn into something he isn’t. Either you want him the way he is or you don’t.

10. Looking at the book without opening it

You want a gentleman, great. But, he may not look like what you expect. He may be big, grouchy and intimidating but also the most sweet, caring and affectionate man you have ever met. Don’t judge a book by its cover and you may find your true gentleman where you least expect it. After all gentlemen, like ogres and onions, have layers.

Final thoughts

People write these kind of articles/posts as if the women have no flaws. How about the one that are the users, bi-polar or 450 other neurotic disorders. How about letting them know if you are trying to hide the fact that you have so many mental problems and that you are trying to find a man to fix it.