Why Younger Men Often Prefer Older Women, these days

 

I have to fess up that it has been decades since I was the younger man in a relationship with an older woman.

It is becoming more common for younger men to prefer older women.

Fortunately, psychology explains why this is the case. This relationship may be hard to understand if you aren’t in one, but the reasoning is pretty legitimate. Even with negative stereotyping and judgment, younger men are going after older women frequently.

It may be more life experience that draws a younger man to an older woman in some instances. In other cases, it is due to their level of maturity. Whatever the case may be, it is becoming increasingly common for these types of relationships to flourish.

Men want different things from relationships than women of the same age want. Older women want different things than younger women want. These different desires are part of what attracts younger men to older women.

Understanding these mindsets and relationship preferences is the key to understanding why some younger men are drawn to mature ladies. There are many reasons, and they all align with what a man is looking for in a woman. Also know that these are generalizations–not every statement applies to every person, just as not every younger man prefers a mature partner.

Before understanding why younger men often prefer older women, it is important first to understand what a man wants in a relationship. Most men tend to look for the same things, whether they realize it or not.

Here are a few reasons why a younger man might prefer a more mature partner.

Men want a woman they can talk to and connect with on a deeper level. Since mature women have more life experience, they tend to hold an intellectual conversation better than younger women. Plus, they tend to know more about world events.

Some of the topics men like to discuss with their partners include politics, world issues, media, and religion. They are more likely to find this in an older woman, so men tend to be drawn to older women. With younger women, some males think that the conversation will revolve more around drama and pointless experiences.

They sometime Seem Sometimes More Intellectual

Men want a woman they can talk to and connect with on a deeper level. Since mature women have more life experience, they tend to hold an intellectual conversation better than younger women. Plus, they tend to know more about world events.

Some of the topics men like to discuss with their partners include politics, world issues, media, and religion. They are more likely to find this in an older woman, so men tend to be drawn to older women. With younger women, some males think that the conversation will revolve more around drama and pointless experiences.

Older Women with more life experience are more aware of what they want in life than younger women are. Since they are surer of what they want, an older woman may have a clear and focused thought process. Men want a woman with meaningful and fulfilling goals, which is easier to find in an older person.

Because of their clear and focused thoughts, these women tend to have a concrete plan. They focus on achieving their goals instead of superficial things, and they want to develop positively. Plus, they want to see those around them doing just as well as they are.

Plus, since they know what they want, they won’t waste a man’s time. Some younger women will stay in a relationship even if they aren’t happy, but an older woman will leave. Men want to be in a relationship where they don’t have to guess what the other person is feeling.

Older partners have more life experience than younger women do. Men like this because they can gain another perspective on life issues. Plus, a man can get sound advice from an older woman, and she can help him mature more quickly.

Men are drawn to someone who can give them realistic outlooks on situations. They want to plan for what may happen and having someone who is experienced will help.

Men also want someone who will help them grow intellectually, which an older woman can do. Their life experience allows them to help a younger person learn and grow.

Final thoughts.

Men usually don’t have to deal with immaturity if they go for an older woman. One reason for this is because they don’t play mind games as younger females do. They won’t confuse trip their man up, and the man can be confident in this area of his relationship.

This isn’t to blame younger women for their immature behavior, however. It takes time for hormones to level out and for them to learn to manage their emotions. Older women have already achieved this, making them more mature.

An older woman can help a younger man grow emotionally, too, which is another benefit. They will learn to manage, process, and understand their feelings better with an older woman to help them.

While younger women tend to need constant attention, a more mature lady might not need this. Older women are more confident in who they are, and they won’t need constant reassurance that they are cared for.

This isn’t to say they don’t want any attention, but they can instead focus on other things. They know who they are and what is important in life, which makes them more confident.

Liking the Idea vs. Liking the Reality

 

Why am I seeing him everywhere, I go every day?

Sometimes we miss something/someone, but the fact is we miss the idea of it instead of the reality of it.

Liking the idea of something is not the same as practicing it.

On paper, a bunch of things sound better than they actually are in reality.

Sometimes this is because the reality doesn’t suit who we are (right now). For example, you may like the idea of starting a new relationship the smoking hot person of the opposite sex, but we are disliking the day-to-day stress of dealing with someone new, wearing multiple hats.

Liking the idea, but disliking the reality is imagining a reality that doesn’t exist.

Of course, all ideas are imaginary at one point. Problems can become opportunities. And sometimes those opportunities can rewrite reality, if in an ever-so-small way.

It could be real, but we won’t know unless we try. It can also be an idea that sounds great on paper, but in reality, comes with lots of downsides. Fame for example. Most famous people don’t like being famous, they just enjoy the benefits that come from being famous. Or—more accurately—fame is a byproduct of doing great work and that work building a following. There’s a ton of upside, but everything you do is public (EVERYTHING) and scrutinized, and you can barely leave your house without getting mobbed.

There is also liking the idea of something but not willing (and/or fearing) to put in the work to make it a reality.

Maybe a new hairstyle might make me look more appealing to him

These fears are our bottlenecks. They are things that are currently holding us back from our dreams.

Spend some time thinking about what you wish you were doing but aren’t.

Why? What reasons/excuses does your mind come up with? How could you get around them?

An idea worth pursuing is worth overcoming fear and taking a chance on failure.

He looks so much like  the guy from Miami Vice back in the day

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Final thought

Enjoy the idea and strive to make the idea as close to the reality as possible. But understand sometimes the reality and the idea just don’t mesh. Occasionally, the ideas are not realistic. Many people think of being in a relationship and living happily ever after. The truth is marriage is hard work, and on occasion quite messy. 

I can not prove a negative

Prove to me you did not sleep with that girl

"I can not prove a negative" this should be what we men should always say when your woman says " prove to me that you did not sleep with that girl/woman"

1. Proving a negative, in the philosophic burden of proof.
2. Evidence of absence in general, such as evidence that there is no milk in a certain bowl.
3. Modus tollens, a logical proof.
4. Proof of impossibility, mathematics.

5. So You Can't prove a negative? Sure you can!

6. Why is it that few people seem to have problems with the burden of proof when it comes to the innocence or guilt of a murder suspect, but then cannot apply the same exact logic to more esoteric issues, such as the existence of ghosts, gods, and the like?

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9. One reason that some people suppose science and reason are incapable of establishing beyond reasonable doubt that certain supernatural claims are false—for example, that fairies or angels or spirit beings exist—is that they assume you can't prove a negative. Indeed this is widely supposed to be some sort of "law of logic."

   For example, A Georgia minister Nelson L. Price asserts on his website that "one of the laws of logic is that you can't prove a negative." If Price is correct and this is indeed a law of logic, then of course it immediately follows that we can't prove that there are no fairies, angels, or spirit beings, or, indeed, that there is no God. We will have established that the nonexistence of God is indeed beyond the ability of reason and/or science to establish!

   The fact is, however, that this supposed "law of logic" is no such thing. As Steven D. Hales points in his paper "You Can Prove a Negative," "You can't prove a negative" is a principle of folk logic, not actual logic.

   Notice, for a start, that "You cannot prove a negative" is itself a negative. So, if it were true, it would itself be unprovable. Notice that any claim can be transformed into a negative by a little rephrasing—most obviously, by negating the claim and then negating it again. "I exist" is logically equivalent to "I do not not exist," which is a negative. Yet here is a negative it seems I might perhaps be able to prove (in the style of Descartes—I think, therefore I do not not exist!).

   Of course, those who say "You can't prove a negative" will insist that I have misunderstood their point. As Hales notes, when people say, "You can't prove a negative," what they really mean is that you cannot prove that something does not exist. If this point were correct, it would apply not just to supernatural beings lying beyond the cosmic veil but also to things that might be supposed to exist on this side of the veil, such as unicorns, Martians, rabbits with 20 heads, and so on. We would not be able to prove the nonexistence of any of these things either.

   But is the point correct? Is it true that we can never prove that something does not exist? Again, it depends. If John claims there's a unicorn in the tool shed, I can quickly establish he is mistaken by going and taking a look. We could similarly establish there's no Loch Ness monster by draining the loch. But what of the claim that unicorns once existed? We can't travel back in time and directly observe all of the past as we can every corner of the tool shed or Loch Ness. Does it follow that we can't prove unicorns never existed?

   It depends in part on what you mean by "prove." The word has a variety of meanings. By saying something is "proved," I might mean that it is established beyond all possible doubt. Or I might mean it has been established beyond reasonable doubt (this is the kind of proof required in a court of law). Can we establish beyond reasonable doubt that unicorns have never inhabited the earth? True, the history of our planet has been and gone, so we can no longer directly inspect it. But surely, if unicorns did roam the earth, we would expect to find some evidence of their presence, such as fossils of unicorns or at least of closely related animals from which unicorns might plausibly have evolved. There is none. We also have plenty of evidence that unicorns are a fictional creation, in which case, it's surely reasonable for us to conclude that there never were any unicorns. Indeed, I'd suggest we can prove this beyond reasonable doubt.

   In response, it might be said, "But you can't prove conclusively, beyond all possible doubt, that unicorns never roamed the earth." This is undeniably true. However, this point is not peculiar to negatives. It can be made about any claim about the unobserved, and thus any scientific theory at all, including scientific theories about what does exist. We can prove beyond reasonable doubt that dinosaurs existed, but not beyond all possible doubt.

   Despite the mountain of evidence that dinosaurs roamed the earth, it's still possible that, say, all those dinosaur fossils are fakes placed there by alien pranksters long ago.

    Final thoughts.

10. Let's sum up. If "you can't prove a negative" means you can't prove beyond reasonable doubt that certain things don't exist, then the claim is just false. We prove the nonexistence of things on a regular basis. If, on the other hand, "you can't prove a negative" means you cannot prove beyond all possible doubt that something does not exist, well, that may, arguably, be true. But so what? That point is irrelevant so far as defending beliefs in supernatural entities against the charge that science and/or reason have established beyond reasonable doubt that they don't exist.

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what do people want more of prospects or Love affection

 Do you feel respected by your partner, or is the lack of respect taking a toll on your love relationship? The need to be admired by your partner is universal and transcends gender. When you’re disrespected, it often leaves you wondering what you did wrong and how to fix the situation.

I will turn around when you start to respect me

What do you do when your wife or husband has no respect for you? Being disrespected affects both men and women in different ways. The definition of respect by Merriam Webster means to hold someone in high regard and show admiration. Considering someone you’re in love with is an essential part of the foundation of your partnership.

Both male and females have a need and desire to please their mate, and when there’s a lack of respect, it can be psychologically damaging. Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow, and it can dramatically affect your self-esteem as well as the quality of your relationship.

The smack in the face of Rejection 

from Disrespect

Relationships have foundational building blocks that keep the union sound. Things like trust, honesty, commitment, communication, and respect are essential. When one of these grounding parts of your union is gone, it’s like a house with a sagging foundation. No doubt, a weak foundation produces cracks, soft spots and is dangerous.

So, when your relationship has dysfunctional parts, it allows room for other issues to creep in. The lack of respect will soon let doubt slither in and start trouble.

Here’s an example

For instance, a husband who no longer is home by dinner time, and doesn’t take time to call to warn his wife, leaves the door open for suspicion.

It’s not only disrespectful not to let someone know you’re going to be late, especially when they’re cooking, but they will worry about your safety. It’s just a little thing that you can do that shows you hold this person in high esteem. When you don’t take time to let them know your whereabouts, then you cause ill feelings.

First, she’s going to be hurt because she made a meal you didn’t eat. Second, she is going to wonder why you’re working so late all the time. Third, she will wonder if there’s someone else that has caught your eye. Due to these actions, the wife may turn inward instead of talking out issues.

Even if the husband was working and there wasn’t anything wrong, the lack of respect caused a rift. The wife will become suspicious and keep a mental tab of how many times such an occurrence happened. All of this could have been avoided with a simple phone call out of respect for your partner.

Is It Disrespect or Low Self-Esteem?

Each person has baggage they carry from previous relationships. Not only does this baggage weigh you down, but if you don’t unload these things, it can affect your current relationship as well as those in the future. If you had a previous partner who lied to you all the time, then you might find yourself second-guessing your current spouse.

The sad part is that you might have no grounds to distrust them, but you automatically do it because you’ve been burnt in the past. It can work much the same way with your self-esteem. Some folks don’t have high regard for themselves, and if you wear your emotions on your sleeve, it can cause problems.

Assume you got a new haircut. Your spouse didn’t say anything about this style, so you automatically took that to mean they didn’t like it. Some folks are just more perceptive than others, and it didn’t mean they didn’t like it. They didn’t mention the new style.

You can easily project your feelings of poor self-esteem onto someone else when there are no grounds. A lack of respect is different than not being observant, and it’s important you can identify what true disrespect is in a relationship.

Behaviors that Show A Lack of Respect

Setting feelings aside, you need to know what’s disrespectful and when it’s your poor self-esteem or emotional baggage affecting the situation. Here are ten behaviors that show a lack of respect from your partner.

1. Verbal Abuse

There is never a reason to call names or put each other down. You should speak to each other with love and kindness. It’s disrespectful, even in the heat of an argument, to call names. Never speak downwards to someone you love, as it shows a real lack of maturity too.

2. Lying

Honesty is one of those essential foundational blocks in your relationship. When you or your partner lie to one another, you’re leaving the door open for some serious issues. If you can’t trust your partner, then it’s better to sever ties.

So you lied to me., and  you don't want to admit it, even after you got caught?

she does not really trust me, but I will keep trying!

3. Perceived Cheating

Infidelity is one of the most damaging forms of disrespect. When you’re in love and commit yourself to each other, part of that commitment is your mind, body, and soul. When you use your body to find pleasures outside of the relationship, it’s very hurtful and damaging to the other person.

The first step to mending a relationship after such a devastating blow is to rebuild trust. It’s difficult to trust someone who has hurt you so badly. However, many couples go on even after infidelity, but their union will never be the same.

4. Physical Abuse

It would help if you never put your hands on each other in anger. Most people think this is more about men, but women can be abusers too. Domestic Shelters has done extensive research into why women abuse, and their motives are often different than a man’s.

However, the real issue is that most men won’t speak up about the abuse they encounter, as they fear it will take away from their masculinity. Things are changing, and society is recognizing that men can receive just like women.

5. Flirting With Others in Front of You

It’s okay to notice an attractive person even in a committed relationship. However, flirting takes it to a whole new level. If your lover is flirting with others when you’re around, it’s the ultimate disrespect. It’s like they’re saying you’re not good enough and this person is better.

6. Put You Down

There’s always going to be little annoying things about one another that you don’t like. However, your partner should never put you down in front of others. If they’re concerned about your weight, it’s a conversation to have behind closed doors.

A weight issue should be about health more than looks, and they should never incorporate name-calling. When someone puts you down and makes you feel “less than” in front of others, run.

7. They Make Plans That Doesn’t Include You

For the most part, being in a relationship means that you make plans together. While there may be the occasional guys or girl’s night out, typically, your life should be spent doing things as a couple. If one of you is making plans continuously that doesn’t involve the other person, it’s a sign you don’t want to be with them.

It’s very disrespectful and hurtful to be with someone and only see each other at the end of the day. Life is about spending time together, not about sharing a space but living separately.

8. Always On Their Cell Phone

Cell phones, tablets, and laptops have brought a whole new level of disrespect to society. It’s so annoying to try to have a conversation or go to dinner with someone who can’t put down the electronic devices. It isn’t nice to have half of someone’s attention because they’re so involved in social media, texting, or checking emails.

There should always be a set time to put down the electronics and communicate, as it can get old, real fast.

9. Interrupts You While Speaking

There’s nothing more annoying than someone who constantly interrupts you when you’re trying to speak. They’re implying that what you have to say is not as crucial as their thoughts. Don’t let people cut you off, as it’s the ultimate disrespect.

are you ever going to let me get a word in?

10. Refuses To Apologize

Selfish people are individuals who believe they’re always right. According to the National Centers for Biotechnology Information, these folks often have a grandiose sense of self-importance, as well as shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes. Even if they know they’re wrong, they will never admit that to you.

However, they probably think they’re right all the time anyway, so they will argue and push their point until you see things their way.

Final Thoughts on A Lack of Respect

Being with the right person who loves, cherishes, and respects you will bring a whole new meaning to your life. While even the best relationship will have some storms to weather, you do it together and not by tearing each other apart.

When someone shows a lack of respect to you, it can have a long-lasting effect. Not only will the relationship be unhealthy, but it can destroy your self-esteem a little bit with each blow. While relationships are all about compromise, there are some things that you should never compromise on, such as honesty, trust, communication, and respect for one another.

If you don't really want to be liked but you want to be respected, aren't you in conflicted

 

This isn’t uncommon. Everyone holds on to something from their past that makes them feel undeserving in some ways. For some people, it manifests in the form of staying in a toxic relationship.

Showing yourself respect does not make you narcissistic or conceited. In fact, it does quite the opposite. When we respect ourselves, we are more worthy of receiving love and, in turn, giving love to others. Here are some strategies for practicing true self-respect—not the kind that stems from "likes" on social media:

I can't believe they said that about me!

You feel that you don’t deserve better.

Perhaps you aren’t concerned that you can’t find something better. 

It could be that you feel like you are unworthy of someone better.  

That feelings of not deserving better comes from things that have

 happened in a person’s past that influences their outlook, or “in-look.

Something in a person’s past makes them feel like they should be in a bad relationship. Another way to look at it is that something in their past

 also makes them afraid to be alone, so they stay with a lousy partner, 

or they purposely become a lousy partner.

When I assume that everyone thinks I'm smart, why am I easily insulted when someone asks me "when did you graduate College?"

Abstract

One could assume it is a given that "Essence" magazine dispels stereotypical images of Black women and that it works to liberate them from the strictures imposed on them by a world in which they live as an undervalued and marginalized minority. After all, this is the only longstanding women's magazine that targets Black women and addresses specifically their cultural and emotional needs as African Americans and women. This content analysis examines whether "Essence" works as a liberating feminist text that dispels, as opposed to validates, stereotypical images of Black women. We hypothesize that (a) there will be more evidence to dispel the stereotypes than to perpetuate them and (b) that of the four major African American women stereotypes mammy, matriarch, sexual siren, and welfare mother or queen--the matriarch and sexual siren stereotypes will be dispelled more frequently. Results support the former hypothesis entirely and the latter hypothesis partially.

Journal Information

For the last quarter century, the Journal of Black Studies has been the leading source for dynamic, innovative, and creative research on the Black experience. Poised to remain at the forefront of the scholarship in the field, the Journal of Black Studies explores the most vital issues facing African American and Black populations.