Loyal Relationship

 

putting our heads together helps us make the best decisions

Loyalty is an essential quality in any close relationship. When your person is loyal, it’s a strong assurance of another person.  Whether it be in work, business, family, friendship or a relationship, loyalty builds from specific characteristics.

Just because someone is a family member, neighbor or friend does not mean that they will be loyal. Ideally, we wish that were true (and hopefully someday it is), but for now loyalty must be earned.

Much like steps on a ladder, there are specific qualities that you can see in a person to know if they are truly loyal. I call this the “Loyalty Ladder”.

A truly loyal person will be loyal because they want to.  Loyalty through obligation can be dangerous. But sometimes it’s hard to detect. People can be deceiving due to their own personal agendas and show this subtly 

Loyalty is an essential quality in any close relationship. When your person is loyal, it’s a strong assurance of another person.  Whether it be in work, business, family, friendship or a relationship, loyalty builds from specific characteristics.

Just because someone is a family member, neighbor or friend does not mean that they will be loyal. Ideally, we wish that were true (and hopefully someday it is), but for now loyalty must be earned.

Much like steps on a ladder, there are specific qualities that you can see in a person to know if they are truly loyal. We call this the “Loyalty Ladder”.

A truly loyal person will be loyal because they want to.  Loyalty through obligation can be dangerous. But sometimes it’s hard to detect. People can be deceiving due to their own personal agendas and show this subtly through their words and actions.

To help you truly detect the difference . . .

Your massages are so at the right time

A loyal relationship is supportive

A loyal person will reach out to you when you need them.  They care enough to stay aware, and take action when they know you need a pick-me-up, or just a little reminder to stay on track.

A loyal relationship is respectful

If someone talks about someone else to you behind their back, who do you think they’ll talk about when you’re not around? A loyal person will be respectful of you away from your presence. They will decline the opportunity to spread gossip, and may even deliver a serious message, sharing their opinion of gossiping with the people doing it.

A loyal relationship is trustworthy

A loyal person will share their honest opinion (even if it’s not always what you want to hear).  Sometimes, they want to share their experience with you, hoping that it will give you insight and help you follow your best path.

A loyal relationship is sincere

A truly loyal person is always sincere. They show very subtle, yet powerful signs that they care. You’ll find that they are faithful in a way that they show up during the good times and the bad times. Loyal people are supportive (even loving) for no other reason than that they care.
Practice random acts of kindness.

A loyal relationship has integrity

When one does what is right by their own personal values and morals, and is also supported by societal norms, that’s integrity. They are kind. They properly care for themselves and others around them. And, they respect boundaries. In fact, they are known for it.

When a person with high integrity makes a mistake they will apologize, and you’ll find they generally won’t repeat it. It’s important to them to uphold their good character and moral righteousness.

FINAL THOUGHT

It’s important to keep in mind that We are all a work in progress. 

We can strive to be better in all areas. It’s not up to us to judge or

 be harsh to those that aren’t – there’s a good chance that 

deep down inside of themselves, a desire to be loyal and have 

loyalty shown to them resides.

If Your OG- Ex Does some Things, He Still might have The Hots for You

 I can’t even count the number of drunk texts that have come in.
Whenever you pick up a bottle,
 you end up picking up you phone right away to bother me.

 The following are dead giveaways':

Your ex actually admits that he misses you, from time to time.

Or he makes comments about his dog missing you. Really, it means that he’s missing you.

 He keeps bringing up memories from the good old days, because he wants you to think about all of the nice things he’s done and forget about the bad.

 Whenever he hooks up with a new woman, he tells you all about it. If he wants to make you jealous, then he obviously still cares about you.

 He keeps showing up at the restaurant that he knows you go to with your friends often on weekend. He’s clearly running into you on purpose.

Whenever you see each other, you can feel how strong the sexual tension is. There’s no mistaking it.

He keeps posting “vague” statues on Facebook that are clearly about you. Or about how depressed he is.

He touches you every chance that he gets. His hugs aren’t “friendly” hugs. He lingers just a little too long.

Whenever you mention another guy, he starts asking a million questions. He’s obviously not okay with you seeing someone else.

Whenever you post a super hot selfie on Instagram, he likes it. And then he messages you about it.

 According to your friends, he keeps asking about you.

 He keeps asking you how your family members are doing. Even your cousins. And your job. And your Joga class. He asks questions that even your best friends wouldn’t care to ask, because he hates that he’s not involved in your life anymore.

He still gives you that look. He doesn’t have to say a word for you to know he’s thinking about you naked.

 Whenever he knows he’s going to see you, he dresses in his best shirt and those skinny jeans you seem to love.

 He continues to send you shirtless Snapchats and pictures of him in bed.

 He gets nervous around you. His hands shake (this might be a medical condition) and he can’t look you in the eyes.

 Sometimes, you forget that you have broken up. He treats you exactly the same as he did when you were together.

 Every single time he sees you, he tells you how good you look. And you can tell he means it.

 He mentions how, even though you two didn’t work out as a couple years ago, you should now give FWBs a try.

I still LOL when you try to be funny and sexy

so what will you not accept in your next relationship

 

Here is to new beginnings!

Whether a relationship is romantic, platonic, or familial, there are some things that should never be tolerated in a relationship. A lot of people don’t know what a healthy connection looks like. Consequently, some are prone to finding unhealthy relationships of all kinds.

Some people may mistake the feelings that come with being in an unhealthy relationship with depression and try to treat the wrong things to feel better. Understanding what should never be accepted in a relationship, of any kind, will make it easier to escape a harmful and destructive relationship and start rebuilding your life.

News flash: Relationships come in all kinds of shapes and sizes.

these days it's best to not accept a few things from the jump.

Please keep your hands above my waist.

A controlling partner

Relationships are built on trust. When there’s a lack of trust, the partnership is going to start to fall apart. Partners who are extremely controlling and demand that they know where their significant other is at all times should never be tolerated.

 Controlling people use a whole arsenal of tools in order to dominate their partners— whether they or their partners realize what’s happening or not. Whether controlling behavior leads to more severe emotional or physical abuse or not, it is not a healthy situation.

Therefore, controlling behavior should be a red flag. While it may not seem too bad at first, it can escalate quickly. Everyone deserves to have a level of trust, freedom and control over their autonomy in a relationship.

2. Breaching trust

If your partner is going around telling everyone the things you’ve told them in private or sneaking in your private things like your phone or your computer, then that isn’t okay by any means. Partners should have mutual trust with one another and respect for each other’s belongings and private matters. Someone should be able to trust their partner not to betray them, not worry if they’ve already done so.

I need you to prove that you can be trusted

3. Neediness

The desire to feel loved and wanted is perfectly normal in most relationships. However, when that desire turns into a controlling neediness, it can make one partner feel overwhelmed. Neediness can ,destroy romantic relationships, compromise professional opportunities, and contribute to a cycle of frustration, depression, and dissatisfaction.

A foundation should be built with two independent partners. If one partner is starting to act more like a child than a lover, the relationship is bound to go sour, fast. Everyone deserves to feel as if they’re an equal, not a caretaker.

Negativity

Not everyone can be positive at all times. There are times where people feel low in their lives. But a reconnection devoid of positivity is a something that no one should have to deal with. A consistently negative partner will eventually start to seep into the way that they treat their significant other, which will be bound to be just as negative as the rest of their outlook. Settling for a partner with a negative outlook will only bring you down.

5. Emotionally unavailable

If your partner is emotionally unavailable, then the relationship is just not going to work. People get into relationships because they want to share their lives with another person. Someone who is emotionally unavailable and getting into a relationship may not have your best interests in mind. In fact, they may have little interest in your emotions at all. Instead, they might look only for financial gain or sexual gratifications. Being with someone emotionally available is a key part of any connection, and a lack of emotional reciprocation should never be tolerated.

Can you really listen to me, while drinking a glass of wine?

6. Bad listener

Communication is the backbone of any union. Without it, most relationships face a plethora of problems.  Maintaining open lines of communication is so important, and a strong relationship allows each individual to express themselves with a partner who listens and promotes further communication.

Couples who don’t communicate may find that their relationship can go sour fast. One thing that no one should ever have to tolerate in any alliance is a partner who doesn’t listen to them. Someone who doesn’t listen doesn’t value your thoughts, opinions, or feelings. Nobody should have to deal with that in a relationship.

7. Unsupportiveness

A red flag in any partnership is a partner who gets jealous of their significant other’s success, or a partner who tries to keep their significant other from achieving their goals. A healthy relationship includes partners who are supportive of one another, not partners who try to sabotage one another. Never accept a scenario where your partner doesn’t support your dreams and goals in life.

8. Irresponsibility

A partner who shirks their share of the chores spends recklessly and rejects responsibility for their actions is not a partner you want. In fact, that’s a partner that nobody should have to deal with in a relationship.

If one person in the relationship isn’t ready to face adulthood and all the responsibilities that come with it, then neither are they ready to commit to a relationship.

Final thoughts…

Learning all of the ways that relationships can go wrong can help people be on the lookout for red flags and unhealthy relationship dynamics. Many people don’t know that there are things that they must refuse to accept in a relationship. That’s because they never learned any better. The more that people become aware of the healthy, happy things they deserve in a relationship, the better off they’ll be. As a result, they will seek more fulfilling alliances, and being a positive force on the people around them.

we want what is almost impossible so we get confused!

Now I'm so confused!

 Social media, fictional media, and other sources of romantic goals have created numerous unrealistic expectations for relationships. Many obsess over finding the perfect person who meets every one of their desires. Unfortunately, that’s not possible. The truth is that the ideal person doesn’t exist!

Seeking the perfect person can leave you unable to find a long-term partner, or it might put you in a string of unhappy relationships. Worse still, it could make you project an idealized version of a partner onto something you meet. This notion could subject them to severe expectations that might harm them and you all at once.

For believers in soulmates and true love, learning that the perfect person doesn’t exist can be a blow to hopes and dreams. But you don’t need a “perfect” individual to have a lifelong, happy, and healthy relationship that you’re proud to be in. In other words, the perfect person doesn’t exist, but you can still have a great relationship! How? 

Great relationships are a result of a lot of hard work. Of course, this effort doesn’t mean that they feel like a chore. But it does mean that great relationships don’t spawn out of anywhere. You and your partner must put in the effort to build a genuine relationship on a healthy foundation. This groundwork will create a harmonious, love-filled partnership!

A relationship will best thrive on a solid foundation built by both partners. When you make decisions for the development of the relationship, you should both make them with purposeful and mindful thought. Many people fall into the trap of “sliding” into the following stages of their relationships. They unintentionally end up following an incremental progression of relationships without really thinking about it.

For example, you might label yourself partners simply because you’ve gone on five successful dates, not because you both have sat down and discussed making yourselves official. It sounds silly, but starting a relationship with purpose and developing it based on active decision-making is crucial to a great, realistically built relationship. It keeps you both on the same page so you can grow together!

You want to spend all your time together at the beginning of a relationship. But as time goes on, this can sometimes fade into the background. This shift can damage the quality of a relationship, and you can start to feel like you have nothing in common, driving home the idea that your partner isn’t the perfect person for you. So make sure that you always make time for each other! Put away the phones and games and meet face-to-face to talk and hang out. Have fun together, try new things, and make sure you’re both making time for each other.

One of the leading causes of breakups is one or both partners feeling unappreciated through a shortfall of attention or affection. This is according to research. Showing appreciation is varied and should be adapted to suit your partner’s preferences. The goal is to make them feel loved. They may not be a perfect person because no one is. Instead, trust they are the perfect person to complete your life. Don’t let them forget that, and your relationship will flourish.

You’ve likely heard repeatedly that communication is crucial to a healthy relationship. Although it’s almost a cliché statement, it’s also a very true one. It’s easy to fall into expecting your partner to read your mind or make assumptions about them based on your own experiences and feelings.

Many ideas of a “perfect” relationship involve a partner who “just knows” what to say and do. This expectation is incredibly unrealistic. The fact is that every single person is unique in the way they think, feel, and perceive the world. They’re all shaped by their own past experiences.

As a result, how you react to something is not necessarily how your partner reacts to something. Things important to you are things they may not have thought about, and vice versa. If you don’t tell your partner your wants and needs, they may never figure them out. And their way of showing love and appreciation may not be read by you as expressions of affection, causing you to miss their attempts at displaying love.

The importance of communication cannot be overstated. Here are some tips for maintaining a healthy, open dialogue between partners:

so she expected me to be perfect?

Final Thoughts 

The quest for a perfect person has been doomed from the start. There is simply no such thing. Instead, you must build great relationships, communicate, and overcome unreasonable expectations to live harmoniously with a partner.

It’s a harsh lesson to learn, especially if you’ve had these desires for perfection for your whole life. But look on the bright side! Sure, a perfect person may not exist, but imperfect people always build lifelong happy relationships!

When my mother RIP met my ex-wife  just before we  got married she told her that I was not a perfect child growing up but now I'm a perfect man. we were both confused as to what my mother really meant by that statement , now that I'm looking back on that moment was damaging, leading to expectations that I just did not meet. the perfect person doesn't exist!

But s/he could be better than you deserve.

I'm a lover not a fighter

 

Wait what? does this mean you are not willing to fight for me?

 Some men are very particular about their women. There is the kind of woman you date, and then there is the perfect someone to enjoy life with for the long haul. The difference between the two is the maturity of emotionally intelligent women.

Everybody wants to have fun and enjoy a fling or two, but when it comes to settling down and building a life with someone, you want it to be a person of substance. You want a woman who gets you on a different level and is mature enough to have children, a job, and keeps your relationship alive.

So, Do Most Men Really Prefer Emotionally Intelligent Women?

Have you ever heard that men are interested in some women because of their brains? Part of that is true that there needs to be some intellect to make conversations interesting. However, there are many reasons why intelligent women are so much more appealing than most.

For starters, they can maneuver the world of emotions and use their feelings to get positive results rather than negative ones. Not only is this trait an asset in a relationship, but it’s also good to have in the workplace too.

These ladies know what it takes to live a balanced life and empower others to be a better version of themselves. Here are some other reasons why an emotionally intelligent woman attracts more men.

Emotionally Intelligent Women Do What 

They Say and Walk the Walk

Emotionally intelligent women don’t just say all the right things; they make it a habit to practice them too. They’re anything but hypocritical as they practice what they preach. They are not a dictator who doesn’t follow their own lead, as they have no qualms about living the lifestyle they represent.

They are Not Afraid of the Future

It’s effortless to worry about the future when you don’t have control of the here and now. However, men like that the emotionally intelligent woman who isn’t worried about tomorrow because she doesn’t need a scripted routine. She’s flexible, open-minded, and up for the adventure.

They Embrace Mindful Living

Some folks live each day with the mentality that they hope they make it through. However, this is not the attitude of those who are emotionally intelligent. Every single day is another blessing and something to learn. They embrace mindful living and don’t want to waste one minute they’ve been given.

They’re Fascinated by What Makes People Tick

Emotionally intelligent women like to people watch, as they’re mesmerized by human behavior. They embrace diversity and find something in each person that makes them unique. They’re also observant as they watch body language and facial expressions.

Emotionally Intelligent Women Have 

Excellent Communication Skills

You may be a stranger when you meet the emotionally intelligent woman, but soon she will act like she’s known you forever. They find conversations easy, as they can talk to anyone. They don’t care what you believe, where you live, or how much money you make because they embrace the diversity that makes people so amazing.

They are Aware of Their Strengths 

and Weaknesses

One thing that a guy likes about this lady is her strength. Sure, she knows she has weaknesses, and she’s working on them. However, she doesn’t talk about all her problems. Rather, she prefers to work on her issues without making a public announcement about them, as she would rather let her good qualities shine.

They’re Skilled Active Listeners

This strong woman has mastered the art and knows the difference between “hearing” and “listening.” To ensure that she’s engaged in the conversation, she will re-phrase your statements to ensure she gets things right. You never have to second guess if she’s truly listening to you or just nodding her head and hoping the conversation quickly ends.

They’re Always Willing to Lend an Ear and

 a Helping Hand

Emotionally intelligent women don’t have to have a reason to help those around them, as she’s just a kind soul that loves to do this sort of thing. She wouldn’t hesitate to help an older man with his groceries or work in the local soup kitchen. Her warm personality is endearing to all who meet her.

Emotionally Intelligent Women Have

 a Desire to Achieve

One thing that men love about this strong lady is that she is success minded. She won’t stop until she hits her goal, and she’s not a quitter. No matter what comes her way, she will keep going and striving till she succeeds.

When God sends you an emotionally intelligent woman, be very thankful

Final Thoughts 

After looking through this list, it’s easy to see why men are attracted to emotionally intelligent women. When you’re looking for someone to have a long-term relationship with, you want them to be intelligent, assertive, compassionate, and have empathy towards others. Anyone that displays just a few of these characteristics is a breath of fresh air and someone worth investing time in.

Proof that women can keep control even when the situation should cause them to panic.

Hold on boy I'm in control here!

 Don’t buy into women’s seductive charms. You think women are always going to be like that (nice, charming etc) so, as a result, you sort of become afraid to hurt her because you sort of see her as a delicate flower. You’re afraid to pull away simply because you’re afraid that she won’t be able to handle the pain. I know it because I’m that way too.

Naturally, I’m a nice guy. I wasn’t born an alpha-male or a player. I was born as

 a charismatic kid, a very intense kid, a very passionate and I love teaching.

 My strength when I was a kid was empathy. 

I was a very loving person, and I genuinely would love people when I get to know them. 

Well people often see me as the guy with B.A.D. initials and automatically think he must be bad.

What tends to happen is that, in seduction, it’s a completely Machiavellian world–

like being in jail. 

Women will lower guards through them being sweet and what will happen is that you’ll begin to treat them nicer (which you should) but you don’t want to pull the trigger and you don’t want to pull away.

If you’re with a girl and you began to fall in love with her, you’re not going to want to inflict pain because you love her too much and you feel bad if you ebd relationship. Eventually, what tends to happy when you underestimate them is that they’ll pull away and they’ll end up having the power and you’ll think back and realize how dumb you were.  AS Simple as that It is difficult for most men to admit when we’re being strung along by a woman. For some, it’s a pride thing. For others, it’s about not knowing how to read the signs. 

Below are some ways to tell whether she’s making a fool out of you.

 The Text Trap

Who sends the first text? If you’re always contacting her first, you may be dealing 

with a woman who’s only in it for the thrill of being chased. 

Experiment with this by changing up your contact patterns – 

if you can stop contacting her and the frequency of your conversations drops precipitously, you’re probably being strung along.

The Friends and Family Plan

Do you know her friends and family? If you’ve been dating for more than a few weeks, you should have some contact with those she cares about. If you haven’t met anyone in her life, you should be a bit suspicious. 

She might be excited by the thrill of a secret relationship, sure, but it’s more likely there is some reason she’s keeping you a secret.

Meaningful Titles

What do you call the person you date? If she introduces you to friends 

– and especially male friends – as just another friend, you know you’re being led on. 

Don’t let the “let’s not use labels” thing fool you if you’re not on the same page. 

If she’s interested in a relationship, the labels won’t matter. If she’s not, you’ll find that the labels are more carefully avoided.

The Switch

One of the most common relationship stereotypes is that women tend to run hot and cold. 

In reality, you can tell how much someone cares for you by how they act towards you. 

If she’s only interested in you when you’re not available or when you’re pulling away, you’re looking at someone who is only interested in your attention rather than in your company.

There’s nothing wrong with playing the field. With that said, a woman who’s still 

dating other guys probably isn’t going to be relationship material. If you’re honest, this isn’t something you can pin on her at all – you knew what you were getting into when you started dating. It’s a good sign that she’s not invested in a long-term relationship, though, if she’s got someone else on the side.

Memory Match

Does she remember the little things? While it’s a staple of sitcoms to have a forgetful partner, those of us in the real world have an amazing memory for those about whom they care about. If she can’t remember the little things like your favorite band (or bigger things, like your middle name), it’s very likely that she isn’t as invested in you as you are in her.

Avoiding the Issues

As much as it’s nice to look for signs of being lead on, the only surefire way to know what’s going on is to ask. The great thing about this is that you’ll know one way or another even if she doesn’t give you a straight answer. A woman who won’t tell you if she’s leading you on probably has something to hide, so pay attention to what she doesn’t say.

Always Later

“Maybe later” – these are power play words, to be sure. It’s a great way of saying no,but keeping interest. You know she’s leading

 you on if she always makes sure to rebuff your plans with the promise of doing something in the nebulous future. Unless you get a precise date, you might as well accept the fact that she’s got no real interest.

The Neat Freak

Is she overly concerned about whether you leave stuff at her place? Is she careful to make sure nothing of hers ends up at yours? If so, you’ve got a clear example of a woman who’s trying not to get too close.

The Not Right Now

As made famous by How I Met Your Mother, this is one of the key phrases that you can use to determine if a woman is leading you on. If you’re looking to get serious, she’ll let you know that she’s not looking for a serious relationship – at least, not right now. This is a method of keeping you on the hook, and it’s a clear sign that she’s leading you on.

FINAL THOUGHT.

She is trying to keep you in her leash, she wants to controls the thugs and pulls... and not let you gain control..