5/31/2023



This is  maybe interesting,to some of you,   about relocating multiple times. In my case I was born on an Island called Curacao, then I moved to N.Y.as a teenager, to Chicago Ill as young Computer Systems analyst professionals, then as a married man to Miami FL, now to St. Martin (SXM,) in the Caribbean as a single man after a divorce.
I have never returned to any place I once resided..to live again this is something people find strange about me. Folks will question me. If your life was so good in other places why not move back to one of them...hmm! My answer is always the same 'When I'm driving I often look in my rear view mirror to see if I missed something along the way, I might swing back to visit one day  but never to reside there again. It has nothing to do with it was a better life in one places, or the other, I have lived there before so why go backwards??' To relive it, I like new experiences. I HAVE MEMORIES that I can relive things in my mind. Now I want new memories... none to relive, all to become new memories. Let's face it which of us will still return and reside in the first home we ever lived in. I don't feel the need, since so much has changed in every place... to  drive home my point home if the people I loved or cared about still are not in the same places... it would make no sense to try and recreate those experiences if the people are no longer there. These thought floated through my head as I taking a walk down the hill from my home.  IN "SXM  is no longer such a friendly place". I take more than my share of walks, sometimes I  wear shorts with a knee brace. People would drive by me sometimes with speed as if to say you better get out of the way, guy Very seldom offering a lift. Those who offer a lift don't really know me, but some recognized me but choose to not offer a lift. A man that is a bit older than I who likes to walk also but his eyes are nolonger that good, so he moves slowly along the way, he relies on his other senses. He needs eye surgery but is a bit scared that he might go blind if the surgery is not successful. That is a lot to have to deal with. Have the surgery and restore your sight, or not have it and his sight worsening. I am thankful for so many things these days, my eyes are still very good  however my right knee isn't it gives me problems at times, the cutse of once being an athlete, I should have had surgery on it years ago, Now I wonder, and hope that it doesn't get worse. My therapist a few years ago recommended that I should walk often... I hope she knew what she was talking about. So I walk often as cars zip by me, driven by less than friendly drivers.
WELL, SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH MY GRANDSON, MIGHT CAUSE ME TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION! I hopefully I will take him on walks when he gets older. The part that is concerning is Looking at the hour glass  and question do I have that much time left? Only our Creator can answer that Question!

WHEN YOU FIND TRUE LOVE


Ever since you were young, you’ve probably dreamed of finding true love. Even the people who don’t believe in true love have probably had a few moments of yearning. But just because one of humanity’s biggest desires is to find love doesn’t mean people know how to identify it. There are so many layers to love and things that can potentially go wrong that many people don’t want to go near relationships with a ten-foot pole.

But if you ever find someone who completes you, don’t let that opportunity slip away. And for that, you need to learn how to identify it. If you are one of the people who are afraid of love, you will be missing out on experiences that can fundamentally change your life. Being too sheltered means you won’t put yourself out there, which means you won’t have the chance to meet your soulmate. And it would be a waste to go through life without creating a deep, meaningful connection.

But, say you have someone, and you’ve been in a relationship with them for a while. Even then, many people struggle to understand how deep and meaningful that connection is. You can love many people throughout your life, but how can you ensure you’re with the right one? Well, many people wait to feel a spark or to get a sign that they are the one. Sure, these are signs you should look out for. But there are also some signs of true love that most people don’t realize.



1.    You Feel Comfortable When You Find True Love

One thing that’s kind of a misconception about a relationship is that they should always be fun and exciting. And that’s important when you are building a connection. Plus, it will keep things interesting down the line. No one wants to be in a relationship that bores them out of their mind. But, while excitement is essential, you can have a fun relationship that doesn’t have a future.

So, this attribute doesn’t necessarily signal that what you have is true love. But the thing that is truly important in any long-term relationship is being comfortable. True love means that the two of you can have just as much fun while doing mundane activities as you would if you were on a overseas holiday. Whether bungee jumping or cleaning the house, you should feel content and at ease. But people often take this for granted.

They start to get comfortable but then panic and believe it’s a bad sign. Being comfortable is synonymous with getting lazy. Sure, if you are in a relationship where you never do anything fun or romantic anymore, that’s not a good sign. But if you feel nice and at ease and are content with just being with your partner, that could be a sign of true love.

2.    You Often Want to Be Near Them

This might not seem like a hidden sign of true love, but most people don’t realize its importance. Sure, when you get into a relationship, there will be that thrill caused by the newness. That makes you want to always hang out with your partner. But wanting to be near them has a more nuanced meaning. It’s not just the desire to hang out with them and go on dates.

It’s necessary to be near them, even in a room full of people. When you feel like you always want them by your side or at least with in your sight that signifies a truly loving relationship. Imagine that you’re having a usual day. You went to work, and now some friends are inviting you out. But you’d rather be at home with your partner. Or maybe you want to go out, but you want your partner to come too.

If that’s what you feel and your first instinct isn’t to just go out without your partner, that’s a sign. True love is when your partner is the one you call when you have good news, when something bad happened to you or when you just want to talk. If they are always on your mind and whose presence makes everything better, they’re probably the ones.

3.    You Tolerate All Their Little Quirks When You Find True Love

All people have little imperfections that make them unique and set them apart. But they are also the things that can make it hard for others to stand them. For example, being loud can seem endearing to someone you know but completely drive a stranger out of their mind. Your friends and family are most often the ones who accept your quirks. But they will also tell you to keep your mouth closed while you chew.

But when it comes to romantic partners, these quirks can be a deal breaker. But when you find someone who truly loves you, they will fall in love with almost everything that makes you who you are. If you’ve ever talked with someone who experienced true love, they’ve probably told you stories about these little imperfections. Maybe they were stories about how their partner always left their chocolate wrappers around. And, while that might annoy the living daylights out of most people, they found it endearing.

Those wrappers showed how much they loved chocolate and how happy it made them. And there’s a reason stories like these are always what people choose to share with others. Because when you love someone, these things warm your heart. If you experience something in your relationship, you should hold on to it. You and your partner have a special connection and share real love.

4.    You Want to See Them Succeed

You’ll want to see the other person doing well in a casual relationship. But you won’t be invested in their career or success because you probably don’t care enough to be actively involved. There’s nothing bad about that. Some relationships are not meant to go the distance. And they’re not all going to be with the person you are destined to be with. So you shouldn’t beat yourself down if you aren’t actively helping your partner to reach their dreams.

It doesn’t make you a bad person as long as you’re not actively trying to make things worse for them. But things are a little different when it comes to being in love. When you find your true love, you will want to see them succeed in everything they do. When you are with the person you are destined to be with; you will do anything to see them happy. And you will make sacrifices to see them achieve their dreams.

But, in a healthy, loving relationship, that isn’t one-sided. Your partner will want to see you succeed as well. And, if they are the ones who have to sacrifice something to do that, they will do it. The relationship will be very understanding, with support and love coming from both sides. You will grow together, and the connection will be strong enough to allow you to focus on your dreams and each other.

5.    You Are Vulnerable Around Them When It’s True Love

Most people find it hard to face their emotions and open up around others. Even around friends and family, it can be hard to be completely honest. In most romantic relationships, you might be inclined to keep things light and breezy instead of committing and being vulnerable around someone.

But, when you find the one you are supposed to be with, you will want to open up. It will come naturally instead of having to force it and feeling uncomfortable when talking about yourself. Being vulnerable is necessary to create a strong connection. But you won’t have to force anything when you truly love someone. There won’t be any doubts or overthinking.

Most importantly, you won’t feel scared or ashamed to tell the other person everything about you. This shows that you aren’t afraid of being judged. If your partner opens up and you can have deep, meaningful conversations, that’s a great sign. If you aren’t already head over heels, you will be soon. So, you need to hold on to that connection.

6.    You Envision a Future Relationship Together

When you are in a serious romantic relationship, you’re expected to have some idea of what your future together will look like. But you’d be surprised to hear that it doesn’t happen that often. Many couples don’t take things that seriously and never make plans. These discussions about the future can sometimes even feel like a chore or something that will ruin the fun.

When there is true love between two people, you won’t want to shy away from such discussions. Quite the opposite, you’ll want to make plans. If your mind starts to wander and you think about where you and your partner will be in a few years, that’s love. You’ll probably have a dream house you want to buy together. You’ll know what pet you wish to have.

Not to mention that you’ll have probably committed to sharing your lives together in a more serious sense already. If you have already moved in together or are planning to sacrifice to accommodate the others, that means something. So, there shouldn’t be any doubts left that you two share true love.

Final Thoughts on Signs of True Love Most People Don’t Realize

True love is something anyone would be lucky to experience at some point. Not anyone has the opportunity to share something that is meaningful with someone. And one of the worst things that can happen is missing out on love because you didn’t read the signs well. If you have that kind of connection, don’t let doubts ruin it.

Being truly in love goes beyond looks and physical attraction. It’s about wanting to be near someone and getting to know all about them. It’s about being comfortable, wanting your partner to succeed, and making sacrifices to see them happy. You’ll adore all their quirks and feel safe opening up when you’re in love. Lastly, you’ll plan for the future and work towards achieving 

Her side eye look should be a warning indicating uncertainty!


The beauty of a woman!

Is not just in her body or the clothes she wears, or even her smile  it is  her heart, attitude and mind. Yes all 3.
 A MAN IS BORN THOUGH a woman, and  raised by a woman and he is loved and subsequently he falls in love with a woman, he marries a woman, I am totally surprised by the men who do not respect women given all that women have done for us men.


if you don't know what to say when you end a relationship

When someone breaks up with you or you breakup with them, you’ll experience many emotions. You might feel sad, angry, confused, and overwhelmed as you react to the breakup.


Relationships take hard work and effort, and breaking up can make you feel like it was a waste. Their decision might make you feel conflicted, still loving the person but being incredibly angry and hurt, too. You might want to lash out and hurt the other person, but staying positive will make you feel better.

If you don’t know what to say, these phrases can help when someone breaks up with you. They can help you get the answers you need, say anything you want to get out, and begin moving on.


“I’m glad  to have learned and grown in our relationship together.”

– “I hope you find all the happiness and love you need in future relationships.”

Wishing happiness to the other person when they end a relationship can help you stay on good terms. This phrase is helpful if you want your ex to remain your friend or cordial acquaintance. It also prevents you from saying hurtful things that you’ll regret later.

Caring about someone involves wanting them to be happy, even if it isn’t with you. We both deserve to live the life of our dreams, even if it caused pain in this experience

Final thoughts.

Its not completely over between the two of you, if you have offsprings together. You  have to talk from time to time regarding the raising of your kids. In other words if when you split it should not end with hateful words and actions.


The stages we often overlook, are complicated

 

I'm a Queen and I don't answer to anyone!




So which one of us have begun to have doubts, first?

  1. Passion Stage- The passion stage is the first phase of the relationship. ...
  2. Realization Stage- During the realization stage couples get to really know one another, both good and bad. ...
  3. Rebellion Stage- During the rebellion stage an individual may be trying to assert himself more and is starting to look out for his own self-interests. ...
  4. Cooperation Stage- During the cooperation stage, a couple is often more preoccupied with other things in life rather than each other. ...
  5. Reunion Stage – The reunion stage is often during the empty nest phase of life. ...
  6. Explosion Stage- The explosion stage can happen at any point along the way. ...
  7. Completion Stage- A couple in the completion stage has ongoing stability and security. ...
The world has long sold us on the idea that relationships are what make us the most happy. But there are single people across the planet thriving and living a lifestyle of independence, without a partner of any kind. The concept that you need someone else to make you happy and whole is far from true, and it’s even a little harmful to perpetuate.

But are single people that happy? How and why? And if you’ve been considering being single or are trying to enjoy it, maybe you want to know if happiness is possible without a partner. I am pleased to inform you that it very much is! Here are seven reasons why single people are happy alone and won’t apologize for it!


YOU may have more freedom to make decisions without having to consult another person!

Healthy relationships allow for compromise and win-win situations, but the fact remains that the most decision-making freedom lies in singlehood. Single people have an independence that lets them make any choices they desire without worrying excessively about others.

Naturally, there are exceptions to this rule, but you’ll always have more freedom in this sector as a single person. Single people enjoy greater independence for the following reasons:

You  Make All your own Plans!

When you’re in a committed relationship, especially a cohabiting one, most of your plans will involve the other party somehow. This means you don’t have as much freedom to be spontaneous and have to consider how your actions will affect the partner living with you.

·         Yu Can Hang Out with Anyone Freely! Without having to answer to a significant  other

Yes, a good relationship won’t prevent you from seeing most of the people you care about. But you can’t deny the elements of jealousy, discomfort, and boundaries that come into play when you’re in a relationship. Being single means that you get to mingle with anyone you want.

Final thoughts

We all go through 5 stages of a relationship according to psychology

  1. Acquaintance (initial Attraction)
  2. Buildup (getting to know eachother)
  3. Continuation ( harmonious times)
  4. Deterioration (Decline)
  5. Termination (Ending)

Although each relationship is different, the truth is that many have been able to identify some stages that generally all relationships go through. This topic is one of the objects of study of social psychology, an area where many models on love, relationships and their development have been explained.

There are records the course of love from the beginning to the end due to a break-up, death, or other circumstances.


A successful relationship requires that all partners be willing to discuss profound life changes before going forward. This can involve a fair amount of sacrifice and compromise. Single people don’t need to worry about this as much. Their decisions are thoroughly their own.
 Single People Have Time For Restorative Solitude Restorative solitude is the act of recharging alone. This can be done in many ways, including but not limited to engaging in personal hobbies

What keeps a person in a bad relationship?

This is not goodbye. It a temporary pause 

Dating these days is harder because people are afraid of bad relationships. Let’s face it – things are much different than they used to be. Societal values have changed dramatically, and technology has revolutionized the dating scene (and not necessarily for the better).

Even worse, chivalry seems dead, but many modern women don’t mind since they feel more liberated than they did so many decades ago. That leaves men confused and women who like chivalry feeling missing out.

While all these modern-day changes may be suitable for human advancement, it’s not necessarily the best for dating. You may have noticed this already, especially if you’re reading this blog post. People are confused when it comes to dating – they’re afraid of a lousy relationship, but they’re also afraid of being alone, so they settle for someone who doesn’t meet their standards. This results in lots of relationship problems.

Many people stay in toxic relationships for various reasons. They think being alone is worse, so they deal with unhappiness and abuse.
I am ALONE AGAIN It is really NOT TOO BAD

Final thoughts
We often think about things, we should tell the other person. But do not tell them
THESE THOUGHTS ARE LIKE A TORNADO circling around in our minds. Until one day it escapes your lips. Then you can't take them back

It's kindness that women seem to want as the most attractive quality in a man?


Ladies please note that I'm more than just a good looking guy.

Many people might assume that women are superficial and want a handsome man by their side. But, while physical attraction is essential in many relationships, looks aren’t what women value most. If a man has stunning dark deep brown eyes but is a piece of work a bit selfish, his eyes won’t score him many brownie points with her. Instead, a man’s personality attracts a woman more than looks ever could.Plus, you don’t marry or commit to someone’s looks. Beauty fades in time, but people stay together because they love who the other is inside, not just his esthetic. This is why it’s not just attractive to be a good person, but it’s essential to search for someone who complements you. For example, women have always loved when a man is kind and intelligent. But this isn’t such an obvious thing anymore.

Most men don’t even present themselves as friendly because society has invented a narrative that women don’t like nice guys. And so, most men believe that women only go for bad guys who are tall, dark, and handsome. This isn’t just a false perception; it also affects how people interact. Most guys are afraid to approach what they deem to be a beautiful woman if they don’t fit the obnoxiously unrealistic beauty male standard.

Worse, some girls have also been manipulated by this perception and now believe they want the stereotypical handsome guy. Some girls even go as far as to turn down guys shorter than six feet. But this is usually the case for a minority of women, most of which are young and impressionable. But women who know what they want won’t get hung up on the physical aspect. What they value most is personality
A Man Has to be a gentleman  before I will consider him!