Where have you been all my life?

We go online these days for almost everything, even tips on finding that Special someone. From learning how to date, getting over fear of commitment, to first dating tips, here's where you'll find everything you need to know about  dating, selecting a life mate, and latching on and securing "Mister perfect," your dream husband in the real world. 

www.WeHaveTheAnswerForYou.com 

There is no such website, CD, video or book that will do exactly what you want, especially if you are in a  confused state of mind. 
Relationship experts cover topics for everyone in cyberspace. If you are  recovering from a divorce, or a breakup you are in a different state of mind. So why are you at the wrong place? No one is on this beach but you. Well, these sites offer a one-size-fits all dating formula. Their mission is to help a few get back into the dating game by just following their advice therefore making them successful Matchmakers of the very few. Hell they even have you covered, they pinpoint the ideal place where singles can meet to find friendship, romance, love, and even long lasting connections. Based on a Computer App. They make it as easy as possible to get back into the dating game..... To start searching for Singles near you simply visit their website. Once you're on the inside you'll be able to take advantage of a wide variety of features, all for free! You can create a detailed dating profile, add up to 20 photos, view other singles their system matches you up  with others based on your profile, search for matches, or contact other members. I'm a Software engineer so I know how these Apps work. They match keywords that is about it. The Keywords you pick connects to others Keywords in a database, so you are matched up based on similar Keywords...... Rocket Science?... Not really ... but  Sometimes it works because people believe it. 

OKAY, here I go again. They don't know anymore about matching you up than you do..... If you have been in a relationship before, you did something right in the beginning of that relationship. I'm not an expert on you, your like, your dislikes, so I can't write a Application program that will pick a perfect mate for You!  But I am a man and I know what attracts me to a lady. Since most women believe that all men are alike.... then one man's opinion is all you need..... Right? So do you want to know a secret to attracting a wonderful man? 

Just Be seen in public in a JOYFUL mood. That's it? That's it! It sounds simple, doesn't it? But many single women have trouble attaining such a playful mood in public, and accomplishing it takes self-mastery and focused intent, which will immediately put you in a category apart from all others. A happy and spontaneous woman with a warm smile who's obviously in a leisure moment, and not too occupied to pay attention to social overtures, is much more likely to receive attention than a woman who's rushing somewhere on a vital mission, head bowed in anxiety, face stiff with the fear of an unwanted approach. 

He will react to your energy, if you are joyful. And most single women in public act as though they want to avoid what they actually wish would happen:  would make intriguing small talk with a man of Denzel Washington-like charm

Feeling confident in public places widens the range of eligible men to whom a single woman will be exposed. And it lessens the chances of being approached by the truly predatory, who are more interested in the wounded, fearful, and anxious. 
Click on Think Safety First

First, identify a public place and turn it into your personal parlor. Find a place where you feel comfortable visiting with friends, eating a meal, or having a cappuccino and reading the paper, alone from time to time. Get to know the staff and management, and become a recognized and welcome customer.This need not be a bar. 

But it does need to:

1. Be within easy walking or driving distance from your home
2. Be open as many hours a day as possible so that you can alternate times when you visit
3. Have a social atmosphere congenial to you (your type of music, your type of food)
4. Have a friendly service staff that you can joke with 
5. Offer comfortable chairs where your feet reach the floor (if you're short)
6. Have lighting soft enough to enhance your skin and strong enough to read by (you look intelligent  when you are reading something)

It may be a cafe, or a neighborhood restaurant that serves breakfast on the weekends, or a place where you can drop in for a double espresso and read the paper after Grocery shopping. Perhaps it could become  your favorite restaurant where you can eat a snack or a full meal, depending on your mood.

Consciously make this place your hangout (your spiderweb). Make this comfortable spot the place you have lunch with your girlfriend (preferably a married girlfriend, other wise she is your comp.) once a week,  or meet new acquaintances for a drink or coffee. You will look relaxed in your zone. Get to know the names of the service staff, and tip well, so that when you show up everyone recognizes you -- and they'll always note when you're talking to someone new. Joke with the staff which make you laugh.  Become a favorite customer. In particular, get to know the hostesses in such places because they are like the captains of the ship and watch everyone who comes and goes. You'll never fear being approached by a weird stranger once you feel surrounded by friends.     If you're going to be seen with friends, make sure they are a delight, so that you laugh and smile frequently. If alone, make sure you look around you frequently and make eye contact with someone occasionally. If you cultivate the right place, it will feel like a home away from home. And you will notice who comes and goes. Feel free to relax and be receptive to eye contact and smiles from people you don't know . . . yet.  Why not? You've created your own safe, public parlor.  

It beats chilling at home texting people you already know will not make the grade.

Certainly, at first you'll probably have to consciously create the circumstances in which to relax in public. Then, you can expand and similarly create other public spaces in which you feel "at home" enough to receive attention from men. Say, you branch out to a local bistro where you can listen comfortably to some music on a Saturday evening. Remember, you're in charge, not the space, not the people around you. When you do this, your face will relax enough to invite an approach from a man who is assertive enough to make a small overture, and healthy enough to choose a confident woman with whom to do so.

I recommend that any single woman who wants to meet more men practice the discipline of socializing where she can give and receive mild flirtations without endangering herself or feeling anxiety. Think of it as a discipline in public. Walk that razor's edge of being both relaxed and alert to the World around you, and you will never feel dis-empowered in a social situation. The end result? You'll meet a lot more of the kind of men you want to meet.  

REMEMBER: This is about you applying your own personal style, to the above suggestions. Do what makes you comfortable. But remember to become the best You, you can be. If you remember how that worked before, then it will work again. Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

Who knows you will Possibly be asked:

"Where have you been all my life?"

Vacation for Two, anyone ?

Lower your gazes...... It's all about r-e-s-p-e-c-t.

Most TV shows and movies portray women as conquests, ready to be submissive to the guy. Most hip hop lyrics involve the words “B****s and H**s when speaking of women. So what? This is the Western World "this how we do it!" But do we really like to see other men disrespect women, we admire?

Check out these 2 Videos from Dr. Drews Life Changers, with Paul Carrick Brunson

1.  Instant DISRESPECT  
2.  Resolving the Anger from Relationship Issues

Where am I going with this?

Ever heard the Lenny Kravitz song “American Woman.” It goes something like this: “American woman stay away from me…”. Well, I tend to think that the Western women are the ones who need to be concerned if they are falling for Foreign Muslim men. Why am I writing about Muslim men? Obviously, I am not a Muslim. So, I’m talking mostly about Muslim men who pursue Western women (non Muslims,) and have the audacity to get upset when Western men pursue the woman from their countries. I know non Muslim Westerners misbehave when it come to respecting women. Heck,  some Westerner men treat Westerner women like sexual objects often.

Men can always say "I'm sorry," after the fact, but the damage is already done. 

Many foreign born men do not respect Western women either and view them as some sort of plaything. The liberated women are viewed as promiscuous and even foul mouth Equals to Western men. Maybe this contributes to the way the Foreign Muslims views Western women, but this also makes Western women most desired by Muslim men (which is in contradiction to their religion.)

Dating Muslim Guy.. No Sex Before Marriage!  Why am I mainly talking about Muslim men? It all comes down to pure and simple lack of   R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Muslim men should know better! They should behave better! And follow the teachings of the Quran!

On to my point of though,  I can not fathom the rudeness that foreign born men  have shown to Western women and then dismissed it by saying “Oh, she’s a Westerner.” They say things to women that they would never dream of saying to a woman from their own countries ( maybe they do but we Westerners will not hear about it.) I know this because I have witnessed it first hand. I see Muslim men lowering their gaze in front of women from their country but looking at Western women as brazenly as they please. I have witnessed Muslim men opt to not even speak to a woman from their country but then turn to a Western woman and make an attempt at flirtation. Then, if or when they are scolded they respond with: “Oh her, she’s an American.”  Makes me wonder if they watched commercials for No tanning lines Bikinis.  Do they react with cat whistles...... bark like Dogs like Western men?

Another thing, foreign born Muslims are always  looking to marry Western women. Often they could care less if she is a Muslim or a non Muslim. They just want to marry an American. Why? I guess some of them want citizenship, money, or Permanent Residency status.  Actually I'm sure that is the main reason. Maybe some of them like the Western sisters and don’t care what her beliefs are (Not likely).

A Few Good Men:  Muslim women bemoan lack of “good” male suitors

What I do know is, there are many lovely sisters who are born in their own country and are being passed up for marriage simply because the Foreign Muslim men want to marry an American (again Muslim or non Muslim). After which she is forced to become a Muslim woman. Many Western women often get marriage proposals just by walking down the street or in a halal grocer. In other words, Western women are in high demand! Well, this is where it gets downright ridiculous they are being treated as an object and often that is the reality of how they are viewed. My reaction to Foreign Muslims is,

Find another “Match.”  I'm amazed that many Muslim men live in counties like South Africa that have Bikini Parades (see below) for worthwhile causes like Cancer, I guess they must freak-out on the days when a parade of women walk by them on the streets dressed only in bikinis.

If you’re Muslim and seeking your life partner, Muslima.com is an excellent place to start in your online search for the right one for you. If you’re looking for a site built by Muslims for Muslims, then Qiran.com is the place for you. MuslimFriends.com is devoted to helping you meet the perfect partner with whom to develop companionship and eventually marriage. One of the more frequently visited Islamic matrimonial sites; Muslims4Marriage.com has a number of options available to both its basic and premium users.

This isn't to say that all Muslim men behave disrespectful to Westerner women. In contrast, I have met several Muslims who are very respectful around women.  As with any other religion, or culture you are sure to find both good and bad in the bunch.

The fact is as I said before, Muslims should behave in accordance to their teachings. Those Muslims who do act disrespectful should fear Allah and treat all Women with the respect they deserve.  It doesn’t matter what a woman’s race or religion you are to lower your gazes (Muslim religious instructions from the Quran it doesn’t say “lower your gazes for women from Saudi or Egypt but look brazenly at the

Western women.” It says lower your gaze, period.  “(O’ Prophet!) Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts - that is purer for them; surely Allah is aware of what they do. And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks…”

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things). Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

I hope these suggestions will help Muslim men in their searches, this may prevent them and the Western woman's family from going on the war path....... Western families are not going to accept you disrespecting Western women no more than you would accept Western men disrespecting Muslims.

I don't think there will be many Muslim men walking around on St. Martin's topless and all Nude beaches this season....

 

Ask yourself this question, Would I have the guts to do this.

John Carlos was born in Harlem, New York on 5th June, 1945. A talented athlete he won a scholarship to East Texas State University. Later he moved to San Jose State College. In 1967 he won the gold medal at 200 meters at the Pan-American Games. In the 1968 Olympic Trials, John Carlos broke the world record when he beat Tommie Smith in the 200 meter finals.

In 1967, John Carlos became a founding member of the Olympic Project for Human Rights (OPHR). Harry Edwards, a sociology professor at San Jose State College, tried to persuade African American athletes to boycott the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City to draw attention to racism in the United States. This campaign failed but some athletes did agree to wear black knee-length socks, while competing in their events.

Tommie Smith won the gold in the 200m final of the 1968 Olympic Games by setting a new world record.John Carlos, took the bronze. Both men decided to make a protest. While the Star-Spangled Banner played during the medal ceremony, Smith raised his right, black-gloved fist to represent Black Power, while Carlos's raised left fist represented black unity. Peter Norman, the Australian athlete who won the silver medal, joined the protest by wearing an Olympic Project for Human Rights badge.

What does  this  have to do with the current news in St. Maarten or the Wall Street protesters? From my point of view  the SxmPerspective is making a statement that history repeats its self in some form or another. As a guy who DOES NOT believe in "Kingdoms" I have a different  opinion on a number of things. for example: the Queen of the Netherlands visiting her Islands and causing poor people to scramble to make a big deal over her visit. My thoughts are as follows: St. Maarten is  no longer a Colony, and we are not the Queen's subjects, some will surely disagree with me on this. 

Let me say this, the Queen is a very nice lady, I have NO problem with her or her Royal Family. I have a problem with the structure. If the Queen of the Netherlands or England come to visit, let them pay for their rooms (suites)  food and transportation like any other TOURIST. They should Make a contribution to the Economy of an Island that is struggling. She can surely afford to pay for her visit herself. Treat her as "a Special Guest" based on what she pays for. The more They spends the better the service. It makes almost no-sense to me to go overboard for anyone who's EURO currency has greater value than the local currency, and expect the people of a little Island to sacrifice to honor her visit. Once again this is my opinion, and I have the Freedom of speech therefore I'm exercising my right to speak on the subject. 

I wonder what the reaction would be if a few Members of the siting Sxm Government would do what John Carlos and Tommie Smith did during  the "Dutch Anthem". LOL.  A few may be thinking it, but will not do it.. Since the Kingdom seems to have oversight control over two Ministries in particular, Finance and Justice, I would think that those two Ministers would not be happy with the way they are forced to deal with their Ministerial duties. I'm just a rebel, this is where I would draw attention to my arguments that the financial strangle hold is killing the Island in its growth, which affects us all. We are not a 3rd World Nation. A 3rd World nation could not afford to spend ANG 300,000 out of the already strict budget that is stretched to the limits for a 3 day visit. We are forced to live like a 3rd World Nation. Just for grins, Think about when you got your first job, and moved into you own home or apt.  I remember  my thoughts, My parents were still alive back them, BUT I was thinking this is my place and I make the decision under this roof. My Parents can visit but I decide when (No disrespect intended.) I thought to myself, I can seek their help, their advise, their guidance........ but in the end "I" make the final decisions about my household, my life and what I decide to do. I will follow the Rules and Laws of the place where I live, and I'm accountable to those within the community, City, County, State, Country of where I live. I can't Imagine Suriname going out of its way to invite the Queen of the Netherlands, and roll out the Red carpet at their expense. She may get that treatment if she pays for it "in Advance." Maybe not even then.  Suriname by the way received its independence from the Netherlands a few decades ago. Suriname is 4 times the size of the Dutch Nation that controlled it for centuries. Indonesia is another former territory the Dutch controlled that might not roll out the Red carpet either. NY was also owned by the Dutch which they swapped with the British for Suriname. NY has many Dutch names like Harlem etc..... Could you imagine NY as a Colony of the Dutch today? 

The A-B-C and S-S-S (6) Island in the Caribbean are the only territories that are still left within the Dutch Kingdom and are still being Ruled (with a remote control) by the Dutch. These Islands received their Autonomy in 1954 (57 years ago), BUT still have a status (even after all this time) that says "I can't run my own affairs" we have to stay linked to a Kingdom in Europe. The status of 3 Islands now labeled as the B-E-S are "Public Entities" they are Saba, Sint Eustatius and Bonaire.  I am sure members of the United Nations are scratching their heads wondering what the hell are "Public Entities?" They are not in the Netherlands so which Public are they talking about. The other 3 Islands Aruba, Curacao and St. Maarten are now Countries within the Kingdom, which is also weird. no real FREEDOM to run their own affairs. 

I wonder what my attitude would be, if I still had to check with someone (who don't live with me) on how  I should deal with my own household, trust me, I wouldn't be rolling out the Red carpet to Welcome them. 

You can have the best of both Worlds.

Technology can help you stay in touch with your kids daily. Here I go.... talking about Technology..... again..... Well it is the 21st century, folks, so get with the times. Fathers on duty in Iraq and Afghanistan take the time between avoiding bombs and flying bullets to get on SKYPE.com to talk to their kids.  We divorced dads can do it too. 

The Judge says: "you will have the kids every other weekend, sir. Starting with the 2nd weekend and then the 4th"  What does this really mean. First, Avoid getting angry, then start thinking outside the box...... 

When a father is away from the stress of a failed marriage, he can be more relaxed and more reflective and as a result enjoy being more fully involved with his children. Well, here is where we Dads have a problem. Lets start with the "Fully involved" part. How can he do this in just two weekends a month?

Maybe I'm thinking a little rebellious again, but bear with me! In many families, mom is the center of everything and the husband is the supporting player. But with divorce, the Father needs to have more one on one time with his kids in ways he  never did before. This can certainly be true, and some father-child relationships do improve after divorce, but it takes work. As a general rule, however, divorce is often what drives fathers and kids apart. 

Iphone, Ipad, Xoom, Blackberry, Samsung and other devices make it easier for Dads to stay in contact with their kids.

Technology can  prevent or reduce what is called parental alienation where in the past the residential parent may - consciously or unconsciously - block contact either out of her resentment towards the father or because she has remarried and is protecting the stepfather relationship. Fathers can get around the road blocks by giving their kids pre-paid cell phones to insure contact. Divorce contracts are also often written to permit contact through email accounts.

Example: J.D. a divorced dad to two girls, admits to using Facebook to keep in contact with his kids. Checkup on them daily checkout their friends. “Sometimes when we speak on the phone I can tell if Mom is standing there and then later my daughter will contact me on Facebook,” he said. “A lot of Dads complain that moms could stand in the way of communication but now it’s almost impossible because kids are so tech savvy.” Therefore if Dad puts forth the effort your kids will enjoy the continuous contract.In fact, J.D, who had a contentious divorce with his ex-wife, says that email helps divorced parents diminish “the nastiness in our dialogues” which the kids would overhear on the phone. Now he can email what time he’s picking up the kids and delivering them without any verbal warfare…

So lets get back to where Fathers can do an end-around the roadblocks. Use the technology to make your kids feel your presents. Every other weekend is not enough time to do all that you can do with them or for them.

Start by telling them...... DAD will play a fun game with you, online. Dad will call using Skype.com, Dad will place a comment on your Facebook pictures, Dad can send gifts to you using Facebook apps. Dads can even check your homework and help you when you are struggling. If your kids need Dads advise, they just need to poke you and you can respond. Kids can use the pre-paid phone to call Dad. You can call them back if you missed the call. These are things that are available. So use your every other weekend for personal contact, like hugs. 

To answer the question which is hanging like a dark cloud over the Afro-American Community. Do Good Black Fathers Still Exist?" 

The answer is "YES", but Fathers need to get past the obstacles and do whatever they can, within the lines of the playing fields. Which requires a little extra effort. Let me put it is sports terms. We practice and prepare for the big game. Football, Basketball, Baseball, Golf, Tennis and even Chess requires you to overcome obstacles to meet the challenges. Fatherhood is no different it's all in the way you approach the challenges. MAN UP and reach out and tough your kids REGULARLY. 

On the upside:

The 1st and 3rd weekends are now YOUR to do with as you please. 

You can go out and get your Mack on. 

No longer having to account for your time. 

No need to Answer questions and have your kids look at you as if you are betraying them. 

- No more "who is She?" 

- No more "why can't you just stay home with me." 

- No more having to say "I'm sorry for whatever."  

Enjoy your new found freedom and enjoy quality time with your kids, too.

You may want to read these: Stories for all Dads!

We can't make it work unless we agree that we will disagree from time to time!

A man browses around a bookstore for half an hour before going up to a clerk."Excuse me," he says. "I'm looking for a book called 'The Perfect Marriage.'"
The clerk respond, "Have you looked in the fiction section?" 
It does not have to be fiction If you recognize "the stage" you are currently in and focus on getting through it, which might get you ready to tackle the next stage, and the multiple acts in each subsequent stage. The following gives a glimpse into each stage using a little fiction...... 


the Intro stage: Let's meet and learn how to communicate. 

Here is where most of us start our relationships. Young people using  the gift of communication to say the right things. Putting in the work on  making a connection. Finding each other in the crowd. Seeing  the pretty face and great body, but not really caring about what come after you hookup and commit to a life time of compromises, sacrifices and patience..This is what  no one tells you.  No one prepares you for all these various stages of adjustments.

This is your first stage, act 1.  She needs to trust your decision making ability.
She says to him "I think we're lost, we better pull over and ask directions." 

The male response: "Are you kidding me, ask directions in this area of town? This is where we will make the headline news. With these headlines"  - 'Couple found killed at the side of the road. Possible Carjacking.... Woman raped and man killed for asking directions from the Carjackers'. 

Stage two, act 2: she Loves the way you spoil her.
"Honey, Can you help me? Where are you? Why is it that you are nowhere to be found when I'm cooking dinner?"

"Baby your meals are so good I will only spoil it if I'm helping. This is Why you are my Chef and I get to enjoy the best meals with you. My girls are green with envy. I bet you when you tell your boys how you spoil me they make smart remarks." -   "No. I'm always slicing unions when they come over so I make them cry as they walk through the door. They like my cooking too so they will not spoil it by calling me hen pecked." 


Stage three, act 3: the Kids are killing the spontaneous moments.

"Sometimes I just want to be held." 

His response: "Men need to be held too, we sometimes need comfort and re-assurance!"
Her response:"Yes, but what is your real motive here. Let's wait till the kids are asleep." His motive: "But then I will be into the basketball game, and if  the game goes into over time then you will be asleep.
The kids are playing they will not even miss us. Unless you start singing the Hallelujah chorus again." 
     

Get ready for the Trouble ahead

Stage Four, act 4. I didn't remember, because I forgot! 

"Why are you not seeing that I'm sorry.   I knew that today had meaning but I just forgot what it meant to you.  The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything, sometimes we just forget who we did it with. Can I get off the hook by claiming Amnesia?"

"NO, You forgot our anniversary, the place we met, my favorite color, My favorite restaurant, My mother's name, Our special song...... Your Amnesia argument is Preposterous!"

Stage five, act 5: Stretching the pay checks.

Balancing the Budget together is a tough task, here is where couples really test their stress levels!

"Why did you spend good money for that?" These are moment when the following is easier said than done. "Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be. (RED)



Stage six, act 6: It's cheaper to keep her.

Staying together during tough economic times.

Couples who may have previously given up on their relationship are working harder to stay together because it cost too much to split up and start all over as singles. The cost of separating and living in two homes is an expensive option, so they find ways to stay together. This is Not necessarily a BAD thing! Compromise is needed, consideration is needed, having faith is  needed and commitment is absolutely needed. The reality of the situation allows you to truly understand what "for richer or for poorer" really means.

Here comes those moments where no one will give an inch no matter what!

Stage seven, act 7: I'm not willing to give up the remote control.
"Who cares about Monday Night Football, let's watch Opera."

"It's the Monday night game between two undefeated teams. Opera will tell you, you don't need a man, you can build a Billion dollar company just by losing and gaining weight from one season to the next."
Having different interest can mean spending quality time doing things  separately. Different rooms, never interested in the same things. Not willing to even make an exception, not even once. "You knew what I liked when you met me. If you wanted me to be different then you should have made a different choice!" - " Well You weren't my first choice"  




Stage eight, act 8: Do your own thing...... but leave the past in the past..
"While you are up, can I get me a drink?" No Response to the question. 

"You are always on that Facebook why can't you give it a rest. You will never find that teenage heart-throb you had a crush on. He is probably old, grey, with a beer belly. Do You think he even  remembers you.  And.... if he does what would you tell him? That you never could get over that first kiss. Wait a minute you told me I was your first. Is there something.....  you forgot to tell me?" (Here again you are struck by the reality that you weren't the first choice)

  

Re-connecting made simple!

Stage nine, act 9: Re-connect and enjoy the sunsets.

We can make it last if we try, and try and try to adjust to change.

We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them. Who ever said you can't build on sand didn't understand that Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. 
There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces. The road you chose to travel need not be a lonely road.  

According to our forefathers, the pursuit of happiness is our inalienable right – so do your patriotic duty by putting more joy in your life with mood boosters.
- Practice Random Acts of Kindness
- keep Moving forward together!
- Count Your Blessings
- Spend Quality Time with each other
- Give Yourself a Thumbs Up and give your partner some praise.
- Cultivate a worthwhile Partnership
Try to meet each other half way. Even Palm trees try to meet each other in the middle.

What do you mean I have a "B.A.D" attitude!

Our Newest way of communicating these days is by telling everyone to "read my sign" directly or indirectly, and I don't mean my horoscope! We all seem to have a favorite BRAND label that describes our attitudes. The person with a bad attitude sees nothing wrong with his/her attitude. The sign basically tells you what their attitude is all about, even before you  say anything to them - or they to you.  Personally I like the signs because I get the message before I speak to them. I even liked it (back in the day) when people walked around with boomboxes playing their favorite song. We called that "having your own personal theme song" like Rocky Balboa. "That's right I'm B.A.D." was their attitude as they bopped to the music walking down the street in Brooklyn, N.Y. Remember when that was popular? Well I do...... I specifically liked it because of what it implied - "BAD" - meant really good (back then) ..... Now we have signs everywhere for everything and everyone. This could not be your Sunday school teacher's car, or could it. You never know these days.
Did she really put that sign on her car, so everyone could see that she is the queen "B", or did someone else place it on the window without her knowledge? The "B" word use to be what guys mumbled under their breaths when the female classmate or teacher embarrassed them. If the teacher heard him, his "goose was cooked." Today the guy would be called a "B****" Ask a woman about the label and she might respond by saying: "Yeah, I'm a 'B' so what ....wait until tomorrow, I will tattoo it on my shoulder, so no one would question me again." I'm amazed at the women who do that, because 10-20 years down the road she might not like that label, and may insist that her kids call her, Mom.... I could never understand inking your Lover's name, after knowing him for just a week, on your rear-end, either. Or having matching tattoos on  your backs, ankles, thighs, bikini lines or breast. I can understand a Sticker on the Car,  because you might sell the car someday, and the person who might buy it may also like the label. But I can't see inking your body with someone's name .... who you now broke up with, and hate his guts. But that's just me. Here is one that still cracks me up when I think about it. Real experience here.

I walked into a Bar/restaurant in Chicago Ill, and I hear this pretty voice cursing like a sailor on a weekend leave. I said, "Oooooh, she must be a  Real queen B****." When the crowd around her shifted I saw this "smoking hot babe" and I realize she was the one cursing,  The truth was she was telling a joke, we later became friends  after someone, we both knew, introduced us, I never told her what I thought about her cursing. From that first moment my attitude was, damn, She is too much for me, which never changed.  There was nothing I wanted to say to her in public or private that could cause her to go off. You sure can't have a disagreement with someone like that, because she will be a major embarrassment to you in public. She would call you every name in the book if she got angry. I would never put myself in that position and risk pissing her off. Back then I had a habit of referring to women as Ladies until I heard that profanity coming out of her mouth, today I'm more selective as who I refer to as a Lady. I always felt I could get over by saying "How are you ladies doing this evening."

Let's just say a good First impression was the way to deal with an intro in my book I always thought it would go a long way. I always felt I could walk up to a table or send a drink to a Lady and get a positive reaction. After buying a round of drinks I could open the door to a conversation and see where it leads. But after hearing expletive after expletive after expletive..... I become that "guy" retreating to a better position. You know the "type" the fella that hangs at the edge of the bar next to the entrance looking cool sipping an exotic drink checking everyone's movements. Reading the body language and drawing his own conclusion as to who is real and who is fake.  Damn, I guess you need Super focus glasses to see thru the B.S. It just is, what it is.  B.A.D Attitudes are contagious these days they make even nice people act like "A(s)" and "B(s)." Why?  
Simple, attitudes these days have become the symbol of cool, because everyone is doing it! If you don't have a  - don't mess with me Attitude - you can not be part of the In-crowd. I always saved the best F-bombs for when I got really angry. This is not the norm anymore. Even the VP of the USA has a F-Bombing problem. He drops it like in public with an open microphone.  President Obama taps him on the shoulder with an embarrassed look on his face, thinking, "Damn I'm glad he's a white guy and not my bro Eric Holder, they would think all brother talk like that all the time."

Wow. What has happened here? You can't be cool unless you  are shocking people with expletives? You will not get any respect unless you have that nasty attitude. I guess People will MESS with you big time, if you're not hitting them between the eyes with expletive, expletive, expletive first.  Richard Pryor would be proud. Eddy Murphy, who is now a DAD, stopped making movies that he would be the star using the most F-bombs. He is no longer that funny as a result of his transformation.  I guess if Bill Cosby was starting off his career now he would be kicked off the stage for being boring. Well we still have Chris Rock. he will keep on doing his thing uncensored.  
Expressive Language in this Social Media World is a minefield, you take a step and get blown to pieces, put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step. I guess thats human nature, it hurts so much to be the one that is different.  We'd all rather blow-up the World with profanity than be different. I think if everyone carried a sign showing their attitude, We would find instant best friends. Two people who understood each other without having to say a word.
Two people can be perfect for each other but if the timing's wrong it's never going to work out. Bad timing is the reason that most normal people end up alone. Weirdos and creeps are single cause they are weird and creepy but normal people are single because of bad timing or bad attitudes (following their peeps lead.) They follow the trend of the day, we all have friends that we try to impress with the same language they use...... After thinking about this....... you might want to chill and take a break from the expletives OR you can click on the Comedian's Names above and have a good laugh..... They will remind you that they get paid to use profanity on stage and in movies.


 

















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