Don't do unnecessary comparisons! YOU are "fine" just the way you are!

Too much time on social media may take a toll on a young woman's sense of self-esteem, particularly how she feels about her body, a new study suggests.

One question, for example, asked the women, "When looking at someone else's photos on Facebook, how much attention do you pay to:

1) how they dress, 

2) their body?

some women were also asked about their eating habits and body image, as well as their current weight, ideal weight and class rank.

The average weight of women in the study was 149 pounds, but most wanted to weigh about 20 pounds less than that. On average, they pegged their ideal weight at around 130 pounds.

Most spent about 80 minutes on Facebook every day. The most popular activities were reading the news feed and looking at photos, according to the study.

Spending more time on Facebook was linked to a significantly greater likelihood that a woman would feel bad about her own body, the study revealed. It also was tied to greater odds that she would compare herself to others.

That was especially true if she felt like she needed to lose weight, the researchers noted.

However, women who wanted to gain or maintain their weight did not feel bad about themselves after logging on to the social networking site.

While the study found an association between Facebook use and poor body image, it was not designed to prove a cause-and-effect relationship.

The research was to be presented Thursday at the International Communication Association annual conference, in Seattle. Research presented at meetings should be viewed as preliminary until published in a peer-reviewed medical journal.

Women tend to present their ideal self on Facebook, not necessarily their actual, true self.

Many people Photoshop their pictures before posting or they use an app like SkinneePix, which claims to shave pounds off a selfie.

Women who compare themselves to these idealized photos may come away feeling inferior, adding that she worries that it could set vulnerable young women up for an eating disorder.

"Feeling negatively about yourself and increased body comparison is sort of the first step towards disordered eating. Not in everyone, but that's definitely one of the phases women go through," she said.

This study didn't find a link between full-blown eating disorders and Facebook use, but previous studies have identified some worrisome trends.

For example, you see your friend is going to a party that you weren't invited to or got a job that you applied for, and those kinds of upward comparisons have the tendency to make you feel worse about yourself

Another study found that women who have a tendency to "untag" themselves in photos they consider unflattering could also be suffering from poor body image. So-called "tags" are used to identify by name the people who appear in photos on Facebook.

I think it's really important for young people to try to be conscientious about their motivations for using Facebook -- their motivations for posting updates and pictures, and also how they feel after using Facebook,

Here are some surprising things that can boost her arousal.

Sure, there are obvious things a woman can do to indicate she's interested in more than just your personality, like finding excuses to brush up against you at the bar, and says: so what are you drinking, can I buy you the next one? But what about the more subtle signs that let you know she means business? the following are  five things that can  boost her arousal—and how you can take full advantage of each one.

1. Roller coasters. adrenaline rush!
Talk about being in the right place at the right time. Research from the University of Texas at Austin shows that people who have just stepped off a roller coaster find the opposite sex more attractive. The study found that symptoms of physiological arousal—like heavy breathing and increased heart rate—tend to linger without our knowledge after any adrenaline-pumping activity, intensifying perception of attractiveness.

Make your move: Luckily, you can harness the power of "excitation transfer" without hanging out at Six Flags all day. A simple Netflix binge at home can do the trick. Fire up your favorite, jump-in-your-seat horror movies—and keep some massage oil handy. Add some caring touch into the equation, and the bonding hormone oxytocin also blends into the mix!

2. Your dress shirt. She is seeing red. in a good way!

 In a University of Rochester study, women found men who were either wearing red or surrounded by the color to be more attractive and sexually desirable. Researchers attribute some of the connection to the historic use of the color as a symbol of wealth and power.

Make your move: You probably know where this one is going: Wear red! It's that simple,  Too bold for your button-downs? Consider making it the color of your boxers or briefs,"


3. Your dance moves.

A recent study in Biology Letters found that women consider large, varied, and fast movements like head-nodding and torso-twisting most arousing on the dance floor, because they signal strength, suppleness, and vitality. The study suggests women prefer "vigorous and skilled" males—and dancing ability perhaps signals physical condition. (Hey, I'll take the researchers' word for it!)

Make your move: Shuffling around with your hands stuffed in your pockets won't cut it. Learn to Salsa.
Take her dancing and don't be afraid to let go on the dance floor,  But you'll have to do better than the sprinkler: Take dancing lessons together, and allow the experts to teach you how you can best move together.

4. Your lack of deodorant.

Skip the cologne—NOT.....according to research from the University of California, Berkeley, it's your natural musk she's after. Scientists found that a pheromone in male underarm sweat causes a spike in women's levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with arousal and brain activation. The result? Your pit stains can improve women's moods and increase sexual arousal.
Are you kidding me..... I don't really buy this one.

Make your move: Work up a sweat—together. Plan to go for a hike,suggests Fulbright. If you go in for a hug and she complains that you stink, "it's a good indicator that you may not be the best match, at least reproductively speaking. But if she digs it, consider yourself very lucky.


5. Red wine. woman drinking red wine

If she picks a Cabernet on the first date, it bodes well for the rest of the night. According to a study from the University of Florence, women who drank one to two glasses of red wine a day had higher levels of sexual desire than non-drinkers. Researchers also found a correlation between moderate wine consumption and higher levels of lubrication.

Make your move: Drunk and sloppy isn't the goal, so keep it classy. "Invite her to a tasting at your local wine store. More than two drinks actually constricts blood flow to the genitals. Translation: Leave the box of Franzia at home!

Moment of silence when dating, can be awkward!

 OK so your date is a smoking hot dancer, you hit the dance  floor and everything just seems to clicks.

But you can't dance all night... You actually have to  talk to her to get her to consider you more than a dance partner for the night . Have you ever been in situations after you've met   someone new where you run out of things to talk about, you don’t know what else to say. That moment of silence, you become afraid of what next will happen. And of course you ‘like the girl a lot so you become worrisome thinking she will not be so interested in you. Wow! There goes the bomb. So what do you do in that moment of silence? Well a lot of cases some guys find themselves saying stupid things and asking stupid questions.

Like: "would you get a boob job like that waitress?"

It made you feel stupid as well because the girl would be like -----“what?” ----with that facial expression. Then you would want to back track and think to yourself why the hell did  I say that. But still if the girl really likes you she’ll stupidly answer the stupid question, quite ironic huh. But that’s when there will be a spark right there and also a connection which will actually spark up in a good conversation. If She is not all that interested in you so you are faced with the normal challenge to win her over. however if you do get her back to your place and your ruffle the sheets, you might have that moment of -----"what was I thinking"-----  for both of you. 

Regret is the most Awkward scenario you ever have. The moments of silence may now be permanent.

Silence in this case might lead to her finding an excuse to leave, that is just not good for you. So saying stupid things is not an option at this point.try and focus on a topics that women like such as fashion, music, their favorite icon singer or role model. That will get her on your side of breaking the silence, thus leaving you with a 7/10 chance of keeping your date going. 

Or having a second date in the future..

She Does not Want A committed relationship,So why is she Acting Like Your woman?

This just makes me  go... "Hmmmm!" in a deep voice!

Sounds confusing, doesn't it? Like what the hell is wrong with this woman? Whenever you want to discuss becoming her  boyfriend and taking things to the next level, this woman insists she is not looking for a relationship. For whatever reason she decides to give you (i.e. too busy, emotionally unavailable, past hurt, etc) she doesn't budge from her position of not wanting a boyfriend right now. For some of you it’s cool but for many of you a relationship is what you truly desire.Regardless you continue to deal with her and it’s like you two are basically in a relationship. You hang out, talk, and does things that a girlfriend and boy friend do, which leaves you wondering where is her head  really at. This woman even gets bothered and shows some jealousy when you talk to other women. So again what the hell is her problem? Why does she say one thing but she is showing you something else? Why won’t she just officially make you her man and stop sending you mixed signals?

Here is the reality for most of you that are in or have been in this situation. This woman is telling you the truth when she says she does not want a boyfriend and a committed relationship. Why? Because you are not her First choice! She is not prepared to be obligated to you or to commit to you. She wants to be able to deflect your questioning of her actions and her whereabouts. If other men come along that she wants to consider engaging with; well she wants to be free to do as she pleases without any valid issue being raised on your part. What her actions are showing you is that she still wants the benefits and comfort of a relationship. She may still wants the sex, companionship, and all the other things that a steady boyfriend provides which makes her feel good when she needs it. She likes the security of having you around and he will always have a fall back as long as she keeps you close. It really is as simple as that. If that woman wanted to be in a relationship with you then she would make it happen. Hell some gals, in the 21st Century, don’t even really want a relationship yet they will still lock the man down to ensure that they get what they want. So if she is not prepared to officially make you her man then her mindset is clear, and you should take this woman at her words. Now this not new this is  how men behave for years.. stringing along some women, holding on until in their view, someone better comes along. So we guys need to be questioning why the tables have turned... now that women have options and are in positions to exercise their free will.

Let me make something painfully clear to all the women and men reading this. Most women don’t have to like you to   have sex with you, ask any hooker. Most women can enjoy your company yet never want to be in a serious relationship with you. That same woman can become jealous and territorial if you talk to other women, yet at the same time want to have the option of having sex with another man. I tell you this not to come off as negative but to share with you a harsh reality. It is in your best interest to understand that if a woman is serious about you then she will be prepared to take actions to back that up. She will be prepared to make you her official man and treat you as such. She will be receptive to your feelings and just as concerned about your desires as she is about her own. If you continue to give a woman  benefits (some would say husband like benefits) without any commitment then many women are likely going to take it. Her decision to go along with this should not be confused with some secret desire you hope she has to one day be with you. You can continue to give and give and give yet still find yourself many months later with no relationship and possibly with her moving while making some other man her man. If she has not made you her man after a good amount of time what makes you think that continuing to give her benefits is going to make her change her mind any time now. She told you she does not want a  permanent relationship, right now with YOU,  so why are you still essentially giving her your undivided attention? A woman's first choice is never the one she make  "her permanent significant other." Se reverses that  option for her "Last Choice..." even then she might still be questioning if she made the right Choice.

If you don't  understand. then stop thinking like a man. Woman change their minds as a habit. Try Observing women in a shoe store. they have to try on every shoe in the store before they decide on which one to buy... Why would she settle for the first good man that treats her right? These days she has options.. because she is independent and self indulging.. she can reject and decide to give you test run .... 

I know many men may be saying “why can’t women just be  honest about what they want”. Technically the woman in a situation like this has been honest, They don't know what the want.. but they do know who they don't want as a permanent escort for life. She told you from the get go she did not want a permanent relationship, with you. If you choose to entertain this woman and it all ends in disappointment she still can say “well I told you I did not want a committed relationship”. The confusion comes from not understanding how many women (in the 21st century) think. Just like a lot of women cannot  have sex without emotions, some women can engage in relationship behaviors without getting caught up emotionally as well. So if you want a relationship, then don’t make the mistake of accepting less than what woman officially making you her man and behaving as she should in a relationship. Stop holding on to false hopes and giving benefits to a woman that is not prepared to make the necessary investments in you. she is being clear on what she does not  want, so now you need to be clear on what you are willing to accept, or not deal with. The choice is always your choice.. choose wisely!

Guys, has your sex life been in a rut lately? Could you have been making one of these mistakes?

You’re single and ready to mingle, but you can’t seem to seal the deal. Hmmmmm! let me think about this for a minute!

In my nearly 10 years as a physical trainer coach, I've discovered this could  mean you’re in one of two categories. You’re either a “Watcher” or a “Pusher.”

Watchers are the quintessential nice guys. They’re so afraid of offending a girl, being rejected or getting a drink tossed in their face that they won’t make the initial approach.

With online dating, many Watchers don’t have to practice that skill of going up to a woman in public without any expectation or fear.

On the other hand, Pushers have no problem making the approach, but they aren't reading the subtle signals from a woman that show they are coming on too strong. and may strike out, because the are patient and swing to early.

Whether you’re a Watcher, a Pusher or somewhere in between, if women aren't sleeping with you, here are some possible reasons why:

1. Your body language is off.

You don’t know if she likes you, so you play it cool – so cool that it puts you in the dreaded “friend zone” after your first date.

Casually touching her hand or shoulder, particularly at a time when she doesn't expect it, can make her see you in a different way, or jump thinking you are getting fresh. Learn to read body language .

2. Your place is a pigsty. 

Sorry, but women aren't turned on by a sink full of dishes or week-old potato chips stuck between the couch cushions.

If you think you might end up back at your place, clean and deodorize before you leave the house. this is elementary read the players hand book. 

3. You don’t dress sexy.

When you’re on a date, you have to find the balance between looking stuffy and looking sloppy.

If you’re coming right from work, take off the tie and undo the two  button of your shirt so she knows you’re there for pleasure, not business.

Even though the other guys may look casual at the bar, you’ll stand out if you kick it up a notch – even just by adding a sharp, tailored blazer over your T-shirt and jeans.with a pocket square. that shows you have style and that you pay attention to details.

“Showing your player’s card signature move to early,  doesn’t

work for a woman who could have any guy, she wants.”

4. You bore her to tears.

Women are tired of going out on cookie-cutter dates. Asking her the basic interview questions like, “What do you do for work?” or “How many siblings do you have?” will ensure that you fade into obscurity.

Instead, ask questions that require an emotional response or a story like, “What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you as a kid?” or “What was your first concert?” you attended.. do you like Broadway plays, i.e. Musicals or Porgy and Bess.

5. You bust her chops. or you use stupid humor!

The magazine Players have convinced men that it’s a good idea to insult a woman to get her attention. You might get her attention, but not  the right kind.

There’s a  reason behind catching more bees with honey. this video might just help you. just click

You’ll get further along by approaching her with a simple, “Hi, my name is…” and then complimenting her on something she’s wearing or her smile — never her breasts.

6. You don’t make her feel special.

When guys have a one-track mind, women can feel it. Showing her your player’s card doesn't work for a woman who could have any guy she wants.

Let her know how special and unique she is and she’ll be almost  putty in your hands.

7. You’re too forward.

Unless she is so drunk that she won’t remember it, most women hate the bump-and-grind approach.

Getting touchy-feely too early will make her think you’re a creep. Casual, unobtrusive touches until she reciprocates is the way to entice her.

Whichever side of the spectrum you’re on, these tips can make her crazy for you and keep you sane in the process.

If women aren't sleeping with you, making a few of these adjustments can take your sex life from “no” to “woah”in no time! 

'The New Monogamy.'

How long will you just settle for a relationship that is making you miserable...?

How to make your lives happy!

There are lots of things you can do to make your dating period enjoyable which makes  her experience with you memorable. Take her to places she never been to before..... Nothing makes a girl happier than going to her dream destination. Once you are around her enough you must know what she likes the best and what makes her extremely happy. In fact you should ask her at least get her hopes up a bit. This will make her think of having a long term relationship with you. Make her feel as if she has something to look forward to but make it actually happen by a grand surprise.

The little things do matter, do little things like giving her a bouquet of flowers unexpectedly of course a box of chocolate a day or two after. Don’t dose her with chocolates everyday just once in a blue moon. Take her to the movies but not just any movie. Don’t rush wait on a specific movie that you think she would enjoy not one that just  you would enjoy, very important.

Women like to be pampered; the beach is a nice relaxing place to be for most ladies. One of those beautiful Caribbean islands would be an excited venture for her to go. Those events are unforgettable for women.

Take into consideration  your budget thou, spend accordingly. Be creative, make public proposals to her, it could be at the mall or a dinner. If she’s shy chances are she will be brave at that eventful moment.

You are at a club give the DJ a heads up that you would like to dedicate a special song to her. The song that makes her screams every time she hears it. These moments she will never forget and will always treasure.

Surprise her on an unexpected visit, if you usually meet with her at 7 in the night. Surprise her by going to see her one day at noon, bring her lunch on the way and a bouquet of flowers.  Take note of her facial expression you might be the first to do something so special for her.

You can give her gifts indirectly leaving her in a state of curiosity but in a good way of course. In doing this you could send something special to her from a gift shop with even your friend to deliver .Write a pleasant note of admiral and of how she makes you feel. Express your feelings for her, you don’t have to write a poem just be honest and brief with your words.

If your lady is outgoing then you might want to take her out on special events that she follows. She might even want to go out with her friends only. Give her freedom of parting with friends, try not to let her feel as if she is in confinement and you are watching her every move.

In conclusion happiness is vitally important to every woman so you should always make the time and effort to maintain a happy dating relationship. Soar to new heights as a couple and be as happy as possible..

'The Man On Your Couch. '

Who is this guy camped out on your sofa?

  A guy who is having a "sit-in" at your crib, should come with a "warning sign!"

How do you Deal with Jealousy! Start by knowing the different types of jealous emotions.

Ladies: Some men you may date can be very jealous. They want to know your every move. They text and call you 24 hours 7 days a week. You can be very annoyed with this experience. It can lead to a break up called by you. he might as well  breakup with you by his obsessive thought of you having another guy each time he sees you talking to a friend, your co-worker or class mate.

In cases like these you might be forced to take action. It might be a mixture of jealousy and obsession which is a very bad recipe for any relationship. If you really love him or want to have a future with him you might consider counselling but if not its best not to tarry too long with a obsessive and  a very jealous man.
Jealousy though can be  a good thing!

this may sound like a contradiction..because Jealousy can a negative emotion.
A relationship without jealousy tells another story.It shows how much the relationship is worth, for instance if your guy don’t become a little jealous when he sees you with another man that appears to be a potential treat to your relationship then chances are your guy  is not in-love with you and he might be dating you for other reasons apart from love, like money.... OK many,  women have the better jobs these days.. so that is not so far out there..... a guy might be in the relationship for the money! I think it would be ideal to say you should not feel too comfortable around overly jealous men.

Jealousy can be good and bad. Let us start with the negative effect first. Your guy  could be so insecure and jealous that he will go to the point of dating another girl to cover up that he is, overly jealous.That would definitely have a negative impact on your relationship. The relationship may become abusive especially if you are also very jealous.  In this situation you have to be extremely careful and be conscious. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. The last thing you want is a physical dispute between both of you. Both of you should work out your differences and understand each other. It’s better to be verbal with jealousy than to be at risk of trauma caused by physical disputes.

The positive side of your date being jealous is one of which you know factual that you are not being played. He is jealous because obviously he really cares for you and he has good reasons for dating you. He’s not dating you just for the cookie or  money or what you can give him but rather for what you mean to him. If you know he’s is a  lady killer, that gets jealous easily you should try not to steer him in that direction. You can do it just to test his feelings for you. but don't push it!

If in the case you are the one, ladies, that is insecure and becomes jealous of your guy easily you should address the issue. Do not bottle it up inside you as in..... don’t pretend you are not that jealous type. Let him know that you are easily affected by who he talks to and text. He will then become more comfortable around you and without you asking, give you all details on his going in and going out.  Maybe! so having consistent Skype face to face moment when you are in two separate locations!