I'm sure you have heard suggestions; Why Men Need To Initiate things, here are few More

Just to start things off let me make something very clear. If a person is not prepared to embrace the needs and genuine desires of their partner, then they shouldn't get into a relationship. People have to understand and be willing to provide what their partner needs more of in their relationship. So with that said,it’s time to talk about what most men could initiate more of, and that is non-sexual intimacy. This may be the first time you have heard the term used, but trust it is a principle that most (if not all) women embrace. It involves any kind of intimacy that isn't centered around sex. It can include making time to talk, cuddling, engaging in fun activities together, and so on. Non-sexual intimacy is essential in a relationship, and here are some reasons why men need to make it happen more often.

OK fellahs... You are on the spot now if you Lady reads this she will be expecting  all 3 of the following.

1. It makes her feel more valued.

If a man views his woman as just some glorified assistant, or sex toy…”he has just  messed up”. If he creates an atmosphere that makes her feel like the only time he wants to touch her is when he wants sex…”he has just  messed up”. The things I mentioned will make a woman feel less valued in a man’s life. That is why non-sexual intimacy is so important. It shows her that you enjoy her presence. It makes her feel like you hold her in higher regard. She will feel more secure, and it will pour the type of love and emotional fulfillment that she needs. When a woman starts to feel like she is just some interchangeable piece in her man’s life, that can kick open the door to plenty of issues. Make her feel valued, and give her the time and attention that truly speaks to her heart.

2. It can be great foreplay.

In the award-winning book How To Get A Woman To Have Sex With You…If You’re Her Husband, it emphasizes how foreplay isn't just something you do right before having sex. It is something a man should put into practice way in advance to assist in the sexual build-up within his partner. Non-sexual intimacy plays right into that approach. When a man shows his woman that he desires her outside the bedroom, it can cause her to have a greater desire for him in the bedroom (or anywhere else they don’t mind getting down). In many cases it can really turn a woman on, and it can help eliminate any possible resentment that comes from feeling like her man just views her as a piece of meat to poke. It will also allow her to feel more comfortable and open with her partner sexually, which is a huge key to creating great sex for both parties in a relationship.

3. It can help you grow closer together.

When people mainly focus on sex, it can hinder their ability to nurture a greater foundation in their relationship; the ability to enjoy each other’s presence, and be friends as well as lovers. Non-sexual intimacy will do plenty in helping a couple bond and grow closer together. It will allow for more time to be put into getting in tune with each other. Connecting on a deeper level, and growing closer together in that marriage. Because it helps in the areas of emotional and sexual fulfillment, it will allow both parties to get what they need, and therefore create a much happier marriage. Neglecting non-sexual intimacy can drive a huge wedge between husband and wife, and that will only lead to negativity taking over that marriage. The significance of bonding continuously in marriage is huge, and certainly not something any husband should overlook.

Non-sexual intimacy may seem foreign to some, and there may be men that don’t think it’s that important. I’m here to tell you that holding on to that perspective will likely lead you into an unhappy and unfulfilling relationship. A man should be mindful of what his partner needs, and understand that what specifically speaks to her heart can vary from woman to women. So talk to her, as well as experiment with some things. See what works for her, and then keep it going. Providing a woman with non-sexual intimacy will put a smile on her face, and in turn it will make it even easier for her to make her man smile as well.

a Boyfriend Doesn’t Have to Pay Bills Like a Husband

A female  friend, who lives with her boyfriend, had car problems. Via mass email, she asked all her friends for money to help with the expensive repair. I said to her privately, that maybe  her boyfriend should be handling that, not her friends. She called me  unrealistic! —Anonymous

My thoughts:
There are two separate issues here. One is her response to a friend who was asking for help; the other is whether her boyfriend is responsible for covering her repairs.

First her  response to a friend in need wasn't wrong, but it also wasn't right. Your girl is in need, and what you were supposed to do as a friend was let her know whether or not you could help, period. Telling her that her man is responsible for her finances wasn't really her place. It sounds as if she  didn't want to cough up any money—and it’s her right to say no—but instead of just being honest about that, she tried to pass the buck to her friend’s man. That was overstepping the boundaries of their friendship.

Her friend may have asked her man for money and he didn't have it or didn't have enough to cover everything. Or maybe he said no to her request, too. After all, as a boyfriend, he isn't obliged to cover her car repairs—just as her fiends aren't. The only person financially responsible for the car is the owner not her best friend. ,

But back to her boyfriend. I find many people these days have husband or wife expectations of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Covering or contributing to a major bill is a spouse duty, not a boyfriend's obligation. It’s nice when a boyfriend wants to pitch in to help, even though that can come with its own headaches, but he certainly shouldn't be your primary option for bailing you out of a financial mess. Your man isn't your personal ATM or a financial planner.

Girlfriend’s situation is a little tricky in that she and her partner may live together, sort of like husband and wife, but without the primary benefits of that commitment. Their situation is a gray area, one in which couples get to pick and choose which traits of a spouse they will take on. This is one of the complications of living as husband and wife without actually being such. It seems that the boyfriend here has chosen not to cover the cost of the car repair as a husband typically would. And that’s fine, since he is, in fact, not a husband.

Chris Rock - Differences Between Men And Women!

Husband Duties To Avoid With Girlfriends

1. It’s fine to court or pursue your lady of interest by taking her out to eat, movies, dates, buying a birthday gift, etc as you are getting to know her. Just don’t spend or give excessive amounts of money when asked because if you are you are being foolish, simply whipped or being used by a gold digger. Don’t confuse the getting to know process with providing as you would do for a wife. You should not be paying for bills, cars, rent and/or shopping sprees while dating.Note: A true lover is a giver. He also knows how to receive. He explores your body. He seeks to understand what your body craves. He cares about your pleasure. Reciprocity is the key of being an artful lover. It’s a dance—an exchange of energy that is most balanced in reciprocity.

2. A woman is a Queen but she is not YOUR QUEEN until you two are married so you shouldn't like your are husband and wife while dating. Never get ahead of yourself losing perspective because there is no rush so be patient. Don’t give her every waking moment you or she has free for that matter. Keep your freedom to do things with your buddies your kids and/or friends and she should have her space as well to hang out with her girls, go shopping, etc. She deserves QUALITY TIME but NOT ALL YOUR TIME while dating. My personal note:  Breathe. Don’t be in a hurry. Use your deep  breathing to cleanse your thoughts. Be intentional and connect on a much deeper level. A lot of people don’t have the patience to get beyond the physical.

3. We all know the Bible says we are not suppose to have sex until married but the reality is 99% of the time we do so I will keep it real and not act like I’m righteous for folks. A woman you are dating is not your property so you can’t demand sex whenever you want it. Be patient and when both of you are ready and decide to have sex then and only then should it occur. ALWAYS USE PROTECTION WITH ANYONE YOU ARE DATING NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS ABOUT BEING ON BIRTH CONTROL, TUBES ARE TIED, HAD A SHOT, ETC,! Too many diseases out here and too many children being brought into this world into single family homes so PUT ON A CONDOM if you are engaging in intercourse while dating after all it takes only 10 seconds! Intimacy:
Quickies are fair game… SOME of the time. There’s always a time and a place. But Consciously Awake sex takes time. It takes practice and conditioning. You have to make time. This is sex. And whatever your excuses are for not having it need to disappear if you want to get beyond the mundane.
 remember prevention is 10 times better than regret. the word entrapment is not just in law enforcement. doing what you will regret later, if things don't work out, can be devastating for  all evolved. Abortions and children born due to regrettable actions is never a good thing!  

4. While you are getting to know your lady of interest, you should not take on the father role to her kids. We will never agree on the correct time to even introduce kids to a new man because every situation varies thus can be different, so I won’t even go there. Just know for the well being and health of a kid he/she should not have multiple men coming in and out of their lives. For all of you thinking what if the kid doesn't like him, I ask you who is dating the man you or the kid(s)? Kids should never dictate WHO YOU DATE. YOU ARE THE ADULT. Kid(s) eventually leave the nest or home and then create their own family. A husband is still there when they are gone to live the rest of your life with. Never get too involved in a kid(s) life or get too attached while dating if you don’t have plans to permanently stay which would ultimately mean marrying his/her Mother!My personal experience note: Kids get attached to you if your treat them right. they want a father figure in their lives, especially if their biological dad is not in the picture. Do not make these kid loose hope that they will have a Dad to introduce to their teacher and friends on father's day. remember their feeling count in the overall happiness of everyone concerned.   


Some of you are thinking you should be giving your all to whoever you are dating and that is all well and good but I ask you to think about how many boyfriends/girlfriends you have had in life. Truth is many people come and many people go in a lifetime so that is the main reason you should wait until the holy sacrament of marriage to be 100% vested emotionally, physically and spiritually in love with each other with no conditions. my final not: Then listen up!
If you want to be the kind of lover that makes your woman never forget you, it’s time to seriously educate yourself on the Art of Lovemaking. This means knowing how to give a woman mind-blowing orgasms—it's all about being the proper  Prince Charming.

a few Myths About Emotions That might be Holding Us Back in our relationships!

As a society, we don’t talk much about emotions. Conversations tend to focus more on what we’re doing or what we’re thinking. In fact, most people find it easier to start sentences with, “I think…” instead of “I feel…” simply because it feels  less awkward.

I was talking to a young lady the other day and she was telling that we had a debate about something in the past. I didn't recall, so I stalled for a little time,  as I was trying to remember where we had met. In her words: " you don't remember because you lost the debate" then I said: "  OK... Did I loose the debate because I agreed with you? Or was it a tie. She said: "No you lost because, I am a woman and woman always win an argument" I  had to admit defeat or we would start a brand new argument... I was not interested in doing that... simply not worth the energy.  So she got the satisfaction of having declared victory... It became more about how my giving in made her feel empowered. 

Most of us are never educated about feelings. Instead, we’re supposed to learn socially acceptable ways to deal with feelings by watching the people around us. Those of us who weren't fortunate enough to grow up surrounded by emotionally superb role models likely missed out on an important emotional concept or two.
There are certainly cultural differences when it comes to emotions. Social norms differ over what is considered acceptable in terms of talking about feelings and dealing with them. In fact, most languages have words for certain emotions that don’t have equivalent translations. (Popular Science recently shared 21 emotions for which there are no English equivalents)." Feel  good moments" are always etched into our  brain as the emotion of choice.... those who remember all negatives are often bitter and self punishing people, which explains how we, after some time has past , start thinking:" Oooh she was not that bad. There are  a few things about her that I liked, there must have been  or I would not have had any dealings with her. "

It’s no wonder there is a lot of confusion about emotions. Here are some of the most common misconceptions about emotions:


1. I should feel differently. So often people will say things like, “I know I shouldn't be so upset over something so little,” or, “I really should be happier than I am.” There aren't any rules about emotions and your emotional reaction isn't wrong. Rather than waste energy beating yourself up over how you feel, accept that you feel that particular emotion right now and that you have choices in how you react to that emotion.My B.A.D. approach has always played trick on my emotions. I have a tendency to let things  go.. way too quickly. therefore, I come across as someone who is un-feeling. This may be true, because I have an internal protection switch built in  which allows me  avoid on going conflict. My motto if she gets on my nerves she will not get the chance to get on my last nerve. Simple logical resolutions. are very satisfying in my book!  

2. I can’t control how I feel. Even though your emotions aren't wrong, that doesn't mean you have to stay stuck in a particular mood. You can certainly choose to make changes that will influence the way you feel. If you want to change the way you feel, choose to change the way you think and behave.  Why harp on something forever as tomorrow the sun will shine again and the fresh air should help clear your mind.  Can't control how you feel, means you let your situation keep you in a rut. repeatedly...... and you can't help it.  A new day sunny day let me see all the  new things in fresh sun light.

3.Venting will make me feel better. A widely held misconception is that if you’re not talking to everyone about your feelings, you must be “suppressing your emotions” or “stuffing your feelings.” But research shows that the opposite is quite true, at least when it comes to anger. Punching a pillow or calling everyone you know to tell them how bad your day was will only increase your arousal and won’t make you feel better. To vent means someone is willing to hear your crap. If You get on the top floor of a building and shout out you problem.  you  might feel better, but no one down below will really hear you or care about your issues. However with easy access to mobile social media chats, and texting. People believe they have an audience all the time. news flash, this makes it easier for folks to ignore you, also. not much different from  you standing on the roof top  venting. 



4. Trying to control my emotions is synonymous with behaving like a robot. Sometimes people think that regulating their emotions means trying to act as if they don’t have feelings. But, that’s not the case. A realistic view of emotions shows that we’re capable of experiencing a wide range of emotions but we don’t have to be controlled by those emotions. After a hard day, choosing to do something to help you feel better – as opposed to staying in a bad mood – is a healthy skill.
The term:" that does not compute!" come to my  mind here, when I think about this. a case of Road rage for example  I witnessed a guy who got the middle finger from another motorist as he tried to get her attention. The  one drive became furious and drove past the other  car cutting  in front of her and hit his brakes. got out of his car and was force to dive back into his car,  as  the young lady in the other car was a female, off duty  state trooper, who  fired a round into his back window and shattered it. the aggressive motorist panicked  and drove away instantly. Now he had to replace his rear window because he just had to give into his emotions. the state trooper remained calm and was cold blooded when she shot a bullet into his car. that was self defense not robotic in any way.    

5. Other people have the power to make me feel certain emotions. So often, people will say things like, “My boss makes me so mad,” or, “My co-worker makes me feel so bad about myself.” But in reality, no one can make you feel anything. Other people may influence how you feel, but you are the only one in charge of your emotions.

Become emotionally aware. Are you receptive to your emotions? Most people aren't. However, the first step to increasing emotional intelligence is to identify your emotions. When emotions arise, identify them and ask “Why am I feeling this way?” “Is it appropriate given the circumstances?” Although it’s believed that rational decision making  yields the best results, emotions often trump the rational mind. Even in relationships, people often make decisions based on emotional attachments to ideas, past experiences, and perceived outcomes. Therefore, becoming more emotionally aware and understanding how your emotions fit into the big  picture are critical to evaluating your thinking and performance and ultimately lead to achieving greater success in your relationships..

6. I can’t handle uncomfortable emotions. When people doubt their ability to tolerate certain emotions, it leads to avoidance. Someone who experiences frequent bouts of anxiety may pass up opportunities to be promoted. A person who feels uncomfortable with confrontation may avoid meeting with a co-worker to problem-solve a situation. Learning to deal with uncomfortable emotions directly builds confidence. When you don’t allow your emotions to rule your behavior, you’ll learn you can handle a lot more than you imagined.
Harness your emotions. Do you have access to your emotions when you need them? You should. Harnessing your emotions for brainstorming and problem solving this can help you exert an even greater influence on everything you do in  your relationships. Emotions can be like high-octane fuel for your brain and nervous system.  So use your emotions constructively — to enhance your input, output, planning, evaluation, collaboration, and every element that affects the beginning, middle, and bottom line in relationships.

7. Negative emotions are bad. It’s easy to categorize emotions as being good or bad, but feelings in themselves aren't positive or negative. It’s what we choose to do with those emotions that can make the difference. Anger, for example, often gets a bad rap. While some people make horrible choices when they’re mad, other people choose to use anger in a proactive manner. Many of the world’s positive changes wouldn't have ever occurred if activists hadn't gotten angry about injustices they witnessed.
Manage your emotions. It’s one thing to identify your emotions and another to access them on demand. However, the million dollar question is whether you can manage them. This includes regulating your own emotions, as well as positively influencing the emotional state of others. Prioritize these activities by practicing them daily, as they will affect your ability to lead (and others to follow).

8. Showing emotion is a sign of weakness. While it’s a healthy social skill to be able to behave professionally even when you’re not feeling at the top of your game, letting your guard down at socially appropriate times isn't a sign of weakness. In fact, being aware of your emotions and making a conscious decision to share those emotions with others – when it’s socially appropriate to do so- can be a sign of strength.
Regulating your emotions, this is like regulating your behavior, is not an easy task. But it pays huge dividends. By exercising discipline and empathy for others, you will increase your success exponentially.Additionally, your ability to connect, on a visceral level, to the reasons why you do what you do in your life is imperative to both short-term and long-term success. Such insight can pave the way for better overall decision making and provide the inspiration to expand your expectations of what’s possible. 

Developing an awareness and understanding of your emotions can be complicated when you’re not used to thinking about how you feel. Just like most skills in life, with practice you’re ability to recognize, tolerate and regulate your emotions will improve.Increased emotional self-awareness is key to achieving success in your personal life.With continued focus, emotional intelligence can become second nature. Why not guarantee your success by becoming more emotionally aware, harnessing your emotions, and managing them, too.The more harmonious relationship you want will be obtained as a result.  These are  just my BAD emotional thoughts!

Men have been chanting this mantra for years, "it's impossible to make a woman happy!

– usually while downing a few cold ones at the local happy hour before heading back to the very wife he’s trying to make happy. not really realizing that it's impossible to make  some women happy.

And therein lies the rub.

Husbands cannot make their wives happy. ask some why the TV weekly  "Scandal"  is so popular 

Husbands are not an assembly line of factory happiness ready to restock her aisles once she becomes low in supply of today’s happy inventory.

Yet, this is what many husbands strive for, and what many wives expect. A husband is not a miracle cure for all the hardships a wife is to face in her life, yet so many women end up walking around aimlessly after their vows have come and gone only to be in the same or worse emotional state than before their wedding day. How does this happen?

Because a husband cannot make a woman happy. No outside force for that matter can make anyone truly happy on the inside. Only perspective and self-esteem can do that.

Yet we still have an epidemic of men stressing themselves stupid because they live every single day of their lives with a spouse miserable from the time the sun comes up to the time her head hit the pillow every night, thinking if there was simply something they could do differently, then he could bring back his wife’s smile permanently – or at least a few days.

the following are my TERM LIMITS areas. i.e. mostly done for period of time then they stop!

• Flowers. 
• Random phone calls. 
• Special text messages.
•  Running bath water. 
• Doing laundry. 
• Doing dishes. 
• Impromptu gifts. 
• Taking the kids away for a weekend. 
• Giving her alone time.
• Giving her romantic time. 
• Planning multiple date nights. 
• Night out dancing. Massages. 
• Bringing home her favorite dessert. 
• Supporting her goals. 
• Finding a way to pay for her new degree. 
• Finally earning enough so she doesn't have to work. 
• It just doesn't matter. It's never going to be enough! 

FACT: If she’s not already appreciative of the good things she already has in her life, no matter what he brings to the table, it cannot change her disposition.

Husbands – you need to let go of that burden. Keep up everything you’re doing for the woman you love, but do it because you love doing those things for her. Don’t do it because you believe it will change the core of who she is. You’ll only both end up miserable, or worse yet, you will become resentful.

Wives – it’s been told to you time and time again that you’re a princess, worthy of being catered to by the one who truly loves you, and this isn't  necessarily untrue. Just remember that it is unreasonable to expect one human being to be the supplier of all your earthly needs. And if your husband is providing all of your needs as a good husband, don’t lay all your other unmet needs (internally and externally) at his feet. Always communicate them, but be careful where you point blame for the things you are unsatisfied with in your own life.

By no means do I think this is solely an issue for the wives, but I've  never heard a group of women try to solve each other’s marital woes after a night of apple martini’s with, “Girl, you know how the saying goes…happy husband, happy life.” Yeah, you neither.

Hopefully, through open and honest communication, all issues between both spouses are being hashed out with their partner in life. That’s the beginnings of a true happy life. 

Until you listen Chris Rock.

Things Men Really Want In A Relationship

We men have often seen what is written about how to impress women and what women want, now its time we talk about what men like and need in our relationships. Men are often reluctant to discuss things we  need emotionally and prefer to be quiet and suffer inside, but as a wonderful partner you probably want to know what your man really needs from your relationship.

 Here are some obvious needs for most men:

• Appreciation
Men often complain that their partners don’t appreciate them or say what they like about us. The term ‘male ego’ is famous, and as a partner you must take care of your man’s ego. Praise us and appreciate  our effort, efficiency, love, and sexual prowess. We  really love to hear how good we  are in bed. Most men don’t require constant appreciation but when something is good why not just say it and improve our day? Keep telling your man about his good looks, gestures, and whatever you like about him. We may say: "Naah, I'm OK "(cool) somewhat embarrassed. but  say it any way!


• Communication
Often women feel their men should get their clues or hints to find out what’s missing or bothering them, but men actually need good communication to know these things, and will rarely get your clues. Lack of communication leads to disappointment in women (as to why he is not getting any clue) and irritation in men. so just say what's on your mind!

• Live your own life
We Men want our partners to have their own life and keep their own identity. This does not mean we don’t love you or are not interested in you, We will support you in your activities and plans. Have your own set of friends, goals, activities, and passions. You must have a life which is going to surprise your partner every day in a happy manner.

• Good Sex Life
This is one of the most important things a man desires in a relationship. If you are a woman who satisfies your man’s desires he will remember it always. Keep your man happy and he’ll keep you happy in return.

• Respect
Mostly men command, not demand, respect. This is a basic factor in a healthy relationship, you should respect your partner for what he has been doing for you, your relationship, and your family. He should feel his efforts are being acknowledged by you. Hardships will always be there but you should learn to conquer them together.

• Games Free Relationship
Most men don’t like being manipulated. We expect our partners to know how to be treat someone with respect. A relationship free of mind games or blaming games lasts longer. Take care of the fragility of your relationship and trust the man you chose. This will help them trust you, love you, and respect you as well.

• Comfort and space!
Last but not least – comfort. In our busy stressful life men want some peace, which we expect from our partner. We want to feel comfortable and relaxed when we  are with you, which will help relieve our stress. This is about being in touch with  us emotionally, men do have emotions although we may not show it. We get our strength from you, so you should be supportive.


Now for a few things that men really do not want in a relationship.

Neediness

good Women don’t need gifts on a regular basis. They prefer presents to be special. however some  want gifts all the time. Why? Because they’re insecure and need stuff to know you “love” them and make them feel  secure.


Obsession

Good Women don’t get obsessed about what you do and who you do it with. Constant questions about where you were and who you were with is a major sign you’re dealing with an obsessive woman.

Jealousy in a bad way. 

Jealous  Women do  mind if you have female friends, in fact, they hate it because you can get another woman’s attention on things that makes you  grow as a person. Women who  don’t like their man to have any female friends apart from them. have   insecurity issues. OK the pic indicates that what  men   usually want is two willing women to satisfy his ego,  each woman   willing to  do different things for him because men seldom find one woman that is willing to do all of the things he wants...... the trick is to get these women to get along with each other. Oooh, that would be the trick of the century, because jealous women hate all other women!

Definite Signs He or She Is The Person For You!

1. A good person never lets you forget how much he/she loves you.
I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had with women who tell me that there is no affection in their relationship. The man or woman in their life does not make them feel loved, wanted, or appreciated. This is a profoundly important piece of the puzzle – a good man or woman will always remind you how much you mean to them.
I understand men can be less communicative or affectionate than women are, but this does not excuse the severe lack of effort put forth by our generation. If someone truly loves you, you will know it and feel it. If they don’t, you’ll be wondering all the time if they do.

*side note: this is perfect when two people are on the same page. here is what nobody tells you, you are two people joint together by commitment and at some point in time at least one of the two will question the others commitment. Why?  Because no relationship is 50/50. From the point you start feeling I'm doing more for her or him  you will have less show of love and affection. and more questions that will keep you from acting the way you did in very early days of the relationship.    

2. A good person always supports you.
Regardless of whether you want to go back to school after 20 years to get your Master’s degree, start a singing career, or stay at home to raise a family, a good person will always support you and what you want out of your life. He/She will never discourage you or make you feel as though you can’t do what you set out to do. He will be beside you every step of the way, cheering on your victories and comforting you during your defeats.


**side note: You need to define support in today's terms. This is something that we all need to understand..... things are not like they were when your parents supported each other... roles are still being defined and talked about  in similar terms but they are so different these days. Men sometimes stay home as their mates have the  better jobs and incomes, but do men do the things the wives of old..... did? Not likely, men feel like less of a man when they are not in control.  Women going back to school at the right time can grant the results they want. But when she is 50 she might want to go back and get her masters degree for her own personal self esteem issue. But will she get a job or will she need to start a business to make money? Or he might want to change careers and decides to take a few classes and try something new. this does not grant any of the two the success they seek. this can really stretch the support factor to the limits.       

3. A good person will work to gain your trust.
A good man will want you to be comfortable and confident in your relationship. The very cornerstone of this is being able to trust someone, and he will realize that. Without trust there is no foundation for love or respect.He will understand that trust is not just handed over to someone – it has to be earned, and then it has to be kept.

***side note: define "trust" here again we are talking about things in terms of "all men are dogs" but when men refer to women as "bitches" it's an insult. "Bitches in heat will attract all the dogs from miles away. this explains the  litter have multiple puppy types(unless you control the mating process). But women who are honorable will stick to one man Just as long as that man is  acting right.... and even if he step outside of the relationship and flirts with a female who just works all the angles to get his attention. he can be forgiven... but women who were not trust worthy in the past  will have a hard time selling their  trust worthiness to anyone in the future. Like  Men can!

4. A good person will always make you feel beautiful.
He/She will understand that making you feel beautiful does not just mean saying the words to you. It will mean truly making you feel beautiful. In the way he/she looks at you, touches you, and treats you. He/she will notice details when you put effort into your appearance and remind you how attractive he/she still finds you even when you don’t. A good person will understand that whether you are in your sweatpants on the couch or in your evening gown, when you love someone for who they truly are, everything about them becomes beautiful.

****side note: define beautiful.... what or who is beautiful in my eyes is not even real beauty in the person's own eyes if she has self esteem issues.  So you are setting your self up for that fall from the grace issues. Define thing that are beautiful that will not change like hopefully her personality the way she handle situations. then define beauty as in the eyes of the beholder. Not the public attention she will attract as she walks down the street wit her mask.







5. A good person does the little things.

Do you need a prescription filled but have to stay late at work? Did you mention an comedy show coming to town and he/she made plans to take you to see it? Regardless of how small certain things seem, he/she will understand they are really the big things that matter most.

*****side note: wow, You know that  these points were taken from someone who is female. Men see the little things as a well fixed meal at a nicely set  table  at 6 pm.  Not in terms of going somewhere or running out to pick up what he needs like his dry-cleaning . so think about what the other person really likes and then define the little things from their perspective not your own. 

6. A good person never crosses the line.
It is natural to have disagreements and even arguments in a relationship – but there is no reason to make things personal, become insulting, and never, ever to become abusive. A good person will remain calm and stay on the topic at hand. Perhaps the most important point of all. Whether it be mentally, emotionally, or physically, a good man/woman will never even think about being abusive towards you or harmful in any way. If this happens to you – please have the courage and respect for yourself in order to talk to someone or walk away immediately. No good person would ever act like this and it will not get better on its own.

*****side note: Threats are the ultimate sign of immaturity. If your woman threatens to hurt you or herself, she’s a immature girl..... and the same applies if a guy crosses the line he will do it again and again until  it’s time for you to walk away.. 

7. A good person understands actions speak louder than words.
Having the right man/woman in your life will make you understand that people who make promises do not deserve your respect. People who keep promises deserve your respect, and he/she will be one of them.

*******side note: Some of you are thinking you should be giving your all to whoever you are dating and that is all well and good but I ask you to think about how many boyfriends/girlfriends you have had in your life prior to meet this latest perfect person. Truth is many people come and many people go in a lifetime so that is the main reason you should wait until the holy sacrament of marriage to be 100% vested emotionally, physically and spiritually in love with each other with no conditions.

8. A good person will open up to you.
It can be difficult for some men/women to express their emotions, fears, and even inner-most desires – but having the right man/woman in their life often helps to open those doors. A good man/woman, while understanding of course some things are to be kept private, will not hide things from or bottle up feelings knowing it will cause tension and frustration.

********side note:We have all been there guys. You meet a great woman, she’s nice, she’s sweet, pretty and knows just what to do to make you happy. Then you realize that you haven’t been dating a woman; you've  been dating a girl. the need for Constant Communication texting all the time.
Women don’t need to call, text or email you all the time. Girls do. Getting ten texts a day is a sign you’re dating a girl.

9. A good person will always be honest with you.
When building a foundation for a happy, healthy relationship, a good man/woman will understand that honesty is always the best policy.

*********side note:This is a big one. Women don’t mind if you have female friends, in fact, they like it because you can get another woman’s perspective on things and grow as a person. Girls don’t like their man to have any female friends apart from them. Again, it’s insecurity that separates the women from the girls. Know the difference!

10. A good person will stand by you no matter what.
When a man commits his love and his time to a woman, there are no stipulations or circumstances required. There will be good times and there will be not-so-good times. There will be challenges and unexpected situations that arise. But he will stay by your side and be your teammate through it all.
Of course, there is an asterisk on this. This does not mean you can disrespect him, lie, or cheat. It does not mean you can betray his trust and expect him to stick around because he promised to commit to you. This point is about things the two of you go through together and him having the integrity needed to not walk away when times get hard.
Any man can be by your side on the sunny days. The real test of character is whether or not he will hold the umbrella over you during the stormy days. And ladies, if the man you are with puts in the effort to be this person for you, please let him know how much you appreciate him. No matter how kind a person is, there is no emptier feeling than giving your heart to someone who you feel takes it for granted.

***********side note: A woman is a Queen but she is not YOUR QUEEN until you are committed to each other. You  two should  Never get ahead of yourself losing perspective because there is no rush, so be patient. Don’t give her every waking moment you or she has free for that matter. Keep your freedom to do things with your running buddies (boyz),kids and/or friends and she should have her space as well to hang out with her girls, go shopping, etc. She deserves QUALITY TIME but NOT ALL YOUR TIME while dating.

 My disclaimer: all of the above and the following are  "allegedly true!"