To love her is to know her, if you are blessed with extreme patience.

Keep the booz on ice for the days
when you have to make up to avoid a break up

I asked some  of my male friends for "their pet peeves" about dealing with their women the following  are their responses:

Top 12 things that women do that drive men up-a-wall.

Women aren't perfect creatures and that's a fact that a lot of men know it! They have certain tendencies that really tend to tick men and even other women off.


It's so easy for women to find fault with men. They have a knack for nitpicking at one specific thing which can drive their boyfriends or husbands up the wall. Women love pointing out the things that tend to annoy them but now, now its the men's turn! Here are 12 things that women do that drive men insane:

1. Lack of space

Women tend to get super-clingy the second they feel insecure. It's something that can't be ignored because they're literally stuck to you like glue.


2. Highly suspicious

If a woman has an inkling of a doubt about her man's commitment, rest assured that she's going to have every detective tailing him. Sometimes, even a female friend can set them off.


3. Sweet at first, salty when things get serious

Many men find women to be two-faced. At the start of the relationship, women are sweet and flirty. But then everything changes once they get to know you a little better.


4. Double meaning conversations

Women never let you know what they truly mean. Anything said by them is cloaked in ambiguity and has to be decoded before being dealt with.



5. "I'm fine."

NO ,she is not. It's a trap. She isn't fine, and she wants you to know that, but also underplays it for the sake of eating away at your soul.


6. Being compared to their exes

Is it a bragging thing? Is it for the sake of instilling values and morals? Is it because they miss that person? Why do they talk about their exes so much?



7. Too much information being given out

Ever get that lingering feeling that your girlfriend has spilled the details behind your sex life? She's definitely explained everything in detail.



8. Drama is a big 'oh hell no'

What pleasure do women find in drama? Obviously, her soaps get to her head. They're always stirring something up.


9. Always wanting to prove men wrong

Women are stuck in a power struggle like no other. They're always trying to prove that they're right, it's super annoying!


10. Cold wars

You know when you walk into your house and your met with a sudden chill that shoots down your spine and then you find out that your girl is ignoring you because you forgot to apologize for the 100th time for not telling her how beautiful she looked? So now shes ignoring you and pretending that you're a ghost? Been there.


11. Bringing up the past

Your girl is sitting there with a file full of the history of your fights. You best believe that she hasn't forgotten that one argument you guys had three years ago in that one parking lot after that one friend's party. Oh you have no recollection of the event? You'll be reminded of THAT years down the line.


12. Trying to control men

It's like women think that men are giant toddlers. 'Save your money!', 'stop hanging gout so much with your friends!', 'why are you home so late?' What are you, their mom?!

Final thoughts
We men need to become Psychologists to  have an understanding of the inner workings of the female  mind. We need to have tons of knowledge on how to  connect with a woman  by understanding the female mind........... toughest task ever.

There Are Ways to Control Your Emotions in an Argument.

See we can disagree without getting angry! But you are already angry!

In the words of Chris Rock:"Fellahs do not argue with a woman, you can't win!"

Arguments can get heated, and it can happen quickly. Within moments, a slight disagreement can turn into a nasty argument. Usually, this is because the emotional states of those involved begin to heighten. You want to be able to control your emotions during any situation, but most importantly during an argument. Not only will controlling your emotions in an argument make you seem more clear-headed and knowledgeable, but it will also help keep the argument from getting out of hand. Here are some of the best ways to control your emotions when a discussion starts getting heated.

“It’s amazing how issues of hurt feelings or differences of opions can be resolved with a whisper. I counsel couples who are yellers to only communicate with a whisper and it greatly reduces the anger factor in their relationships.” – Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D
Huh....in who's world?? Not in my world,where people yell even when they are not angry!
The following are some of the techniques to avoid blowing up:

1. DON’T REACT IMMEDIATELY

Even in an argument (perhaps especially in an argument), you should try to take a step back.  Take a breath, relax those tense muscles, and try to look at the situation from a calmer or more objective point of view. Dr. Carmen Harra, a clinical psychologist, believes that staving off your immediate reaction is one of the first steps to being able to control your emotions. This is especially relevant during an argument.

Taking the time to breath and center yourself will allow you to react in a calmer and more appropriate manner. Reacting right away can lead to saying things you would otherwise regret if you weren’t in a highly emotional state of mind.

2. KEEP BREATHING CALMLY

Purposeful breathing will help to take you out of the immediate situation and put you back in your body. Many people use breathing techniques as a way to control anxiety and panic attacks, therefore it’s no wonder that breathing can also be used to manage your emotions in an argument. Breathing is a technique known as “mindfulness,” which is used to keep you in your mind. It assists in keeping you centered.

You don’t have to breathe mindfully for a very long time. In fact, just breathing in for a count of five, and out for a count of seven will be enough to calm you down. In addition, breathing can help make sure you don’t react immediately, and it will keep you focused on the more important issues at hand.

3. LOWER YOUR VOICE

I was not yelling, I swear, you will not be able to
Handle it if I really Yell!

Raising your voice can be a gateway to losing control of your emotions in an argument. If you know that you tend to yell when you’re upset, try focusing on keeping your voice low and even. This will force you to keep your mind on what you’re saying and how you’re feeling, rather than letting your emotions control the volume of your voice.

Keeping your cool during an argument is all about being mindful of your emotions and body. Barton Goldsmith Ph.D states that many arguments which often result in raised voices and yelling can be resolved much more easily by whispering.

4. TAKE A BREAK

When all else fails, it’s time to take a break. Emotions in an argument can get high, even when we’re doing our best to control them. If you feel your emotions starting to get out of control, the most responsible thing to do would be to call a timeout on the discussion. Allow yourself time to sit back, recognize your emotions, and process them.

Never feel that you have to sit and go back and forth in an argument until it’s completely resolved. In fact, taking a break and allowing both parties time to relax and de-stress serves as a major factor in being able to better control your emotions during an argument.

4. FOCUS ON THE MATTER AT HAND

How many times have you been in an argument and suddenly started getting upset about things that have happened previously? Or gotten into an argument where someone else began to bring up things that you thought were ancient history?

Bringing in these additional (and unnecessary) issues as firepower is a sure way for both people to lose control.


FINAL THOUGHTS

It doesn’t take much to develop out-of-control emotions in an argument. This doesn’t mean that you’re an angy person. Rather, it means that you simply need more practice controlling your emotions. The above methods are the best ways, I've seen so far  to get control of your emotions even in the midst of a challenging argument. Psychologist and counselors agree that these methods will help anyone stay in control when a discussion is about to turn ugly, and therefore find solutions more quickly and with far less drama.. outbursts saps you of your energy!

We all need time to recover....after a breakup!

 Things You'll Remember If Your Partner Ends Your Relationship/ marriage

How can you say it's over
 from one day to the next

Even a bear needs hibernation time... under normal recovery/rejuvenation period. Let a lone a wounded bear.

Whenever a relationship ends, you may experience loss, blame, and despair. During these difficult moments, you encounter tremendous vulnerability and shame. This is followed by resentment and anger. No matter how excruciating the moments get, please remember your greatness.

"Failure is a judgement an opinion. It stems from your fears, which can be eliminated by self love--- and love for what you do, love for others, and love for your planet." - unknown




1. THE PAIN FROM A BREAKUP IS REAL.

Scientists at Columbia University in Manhattan, NY, have researched the brain of college students after a break-up using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). These findings have shown that when the participant is shown a picture of their ex-partner, the brain lights up just as it would through the exposure of physical pain.

You are not imagining the hurt and destitution. And, just like any physical ailment it takes time to heal. Your heart and your mind will recover. An unexpected breakup is distressing. The mind and body will need time to truly re-adjust to all the events surrounding it. Time is the best healer but do not put limitations and expectations on it. The worst thing you can do is rush the healing process.

2. YOU ARE WORTHY.

After a breakup we are left wondering, “What did I do? Was I not good enough?” Thoughts begin to create around your self-worth. You are worth more than a relationship ending. A lot of times it isn’t about what you did or didn’t do. Personalities clash. Relationships are powerful lessons and experiences. Instead of asking negative questions that bring your self-esteem down, why not ask, “What did I learn from this person?”

Focus on the good. You will carry the memories of your relationship with you onto other unions. Don’t allow what one person reflected on your emotional body to become the foundation for another relationship.

3. YOU GET TO PUSH A RESTART BUTTON.

Your world has just crashed. It’s been hard. You were blindsided. Step back and realize that this is a wonderful opportunity to start fresh. You don’t want to chase after someone who doesn’t recognize your vastness and greatness. You want to flourish and be happy. Make a list of things you have wanted to do but your partner did not. Go explore those parts that bring you joy.

When we are in relationships we forget to take care of ourselves. We are too busy trying to make sure the other person is happy. You are responsible for you. This is a wonderful time to do a self-makeover. Get a haircut, a new style. Start taking a painting class....or get fit. You have the time to do those things that are on your bucket list. Don’t put them off any longer.

4. DON'T TRY TO SUBSTITUTE THE LOSS.

The devastation from heartache is profound. Do not reach for something to fill the space or the hurt. This is detrimental to your healing. You cannot heal when you immediately fall into another relationship. That cookie or bottles of booze won’t heal the ache either.

Therapy is a beautiful tool for allowing the emotions to come through in a productive manner. Meditation, yoga, and hiking are examples of positive venues for those times when it’s too much to sit alone in the dark thoughts of sorrow. Start a gratitude journal. Each day write down three things that have made you happy. Readjust the focus on something other than the finality of a relationship. You will be amazed how much better you will feel.

5. LOVE YOURSELF AND THE WORLD WILL SEE YOUR GREATNESS.

You know all that love you poured into that relationship? You know the way you prepared a meal with such gratitude? Why not do the same for yourself? When you begin to give yourself that kind of love and attention the world opens up to you saluting your magnificent nature. You are the best candidate for love. You know yourself better than anyone. You have created a world around you and just because someone walked out of it doesn’t mean that the world ends. Self-love is not selfish.

Final thoughts: Breakups, divorces, and even the loss from death, are life changing experiences in our lives. Mourn properly. Allow time to heal those parts of yourself that feel shattered and broken. Make the time and space to love yourself and connect to nature. Your physical, emotional and spiritual bodies will be glad you gave yourself the love that you so righteously deserve. Reach out to friends and family. You are not alone in this, 
so don't just be " lonely."

SO How do you make a lasting impression on your first date.

Now this can be a great ice breaker... don't ask her about herself.... tell her what her palms tell you about her.

Do you want both hands?

She might agree or disagree... which will also tell you things about her.

Ask Her To Bring Her Hands Together, Do Her Heart Lines Match Up? This is What it Means!


Palmistry is an ancient technique that originated in India. It is very interesting because it can tell a lot about the hidden personality traits of people just by looking at their hands. Some consider it a pseudo science, but others strongly believe that it is magic, surely not fake.

The line that tells the most about you, is the one that starts below the base of the fingers which is called "the heart line." It can reveal many things about your future love life and your relationships. You can actually read it by yourself with the help of the following tips. The only thing you should do is to place your palms next to each other and notice whether the lines match or they are a little crooked.

1.If the "right hand line" is higher than the other, you are a good lover and a lot wiser than most people your age. You might marry someone that is much older than you. You don’t care about the opinion of other people and you want to live freely. You like to challenge the society’s views of what is normal. You do things your way which some people might consider strange.



2.If the "left line" is higher, you are an independent person and you don’t need love to feel complete. Even though you feel the need for love, you don’t want to spend your entire life searching for it, although you love a good challenge. Sometimes you are aggressive when claiming your things, and you are prepared to eliminate every obstacle that might stand between you and your love.

3.If both lines are at the same height, you have a nurturing and calm personality which make you an excellent parent. You are very gentle and people like you are the reason why others still have faith in humanity. You are very empathetic because of your good common sense and sensitivity. You are likely to get married to someone that is accepted by all the people in your social circle.

     
Final thought:

 Please allow my palms to present a red rose to you.

Not only will she be some what impressed but you can also decide based on these finding if you want to continue dating her, or not. She might also want to check your palms to get some insight into who you are.
Who knows maybe you can mesmerize her with more than just your voice.

Lovers are not friends with benefits!

Do you know the most important differences between  just a friend and a fulltime lover.

The difference between a fulltime fatefull lover and a Friend With Benefits is stark and worth knowing.


We all have friends and some of us have lovers. The dynamics between us, when we speak to a friend and when we speak to a lover, vary widely and there are quite distinct differences between the two. While a lover may end up a friend and a friend may end up a lover as well, but as far as the individual relationships are concerned, these  differences separate the one from the other.

This s not us having a conversation

#1 The conversations

A conversation with a friend happens on an individual level. You are either talking about yourself or talking about the friend or someone else. It is one person at a time and both the parties understand that they need to give time for each to speak about their individual lives.


A conversation between lovers is done on a together-level. The conversation revolves around 'us' and 'we'(well it should anyway.) The couple usually don't think in singularity and as they see a future together, they speak in plural terms.

#2 Reasons for jealousy

A friend may get jealous if your attention is diverted from them while you talk to them. You may not have talked to a friend for years but the comfort level still remains when you meet them after a long time. The jealousy, here, is also not that serious and not really of great consequence.



Jealousy between lovers arises when either of the two fails to fulfill their commitments towards the other. Lovers really feel the need to be in touch as they are the closest people and any distance may lead to seeds of jealousy being sown. Jealousy in a relationship is highly consequential and can lead to heartburns and even  breakups.

#3 The number


One can have as many friends as they like. The friends, too, can be of different kinds and from different backgrounds. There can be drinking buddies and a study friend and so much more. The variety and number depend completely on the person.


But there cannot  be more than one lover (well you should be exclusive.) Any more than one means infidelity is in play, and that is not what a relationship is about. Also, a lover can be a friend (not just friends with benefits) but the intimacy between the lovers far exceeds the one between friends. Should I repeat it or will you read it again to make sure you get my point.


#4 Who gets your affection?

Friends can show affection to you and anyone and it would not be a problem. Even best friends can show different degrees of affection to other friends and it won't matter. Friends do need each other's affection but they may not be that needy for it.


A lover would, on the other hand, need special affection. ( Give that person ATTENTION like no other) The position of a lover in life is slightly elevated over a friend's and they would not be wrong in seeking special privileges when it comes to your time. This is what relationships are built on, to treat your lover uniquely.....you don't want it to be "just once!"

The darker the berry the sweeter the juice!

Beautiful Dark Skin Women, deserve our admiration!

After many years of insulting black women and pitting black men against black women, the effect seems to be vastly tearing at the confidence of dark skin people. I think the problem is that somewhere along the line, dark skin people forgot how beautiful and special they were.

As a result of that madness, the rest of the world has forgotten how beautiful dark skin women are. The psychology is evident. If you tell some of the most beautiful creature on the planet that they are not beautiful and get others to agree with you, they will begin to feel less beautiful themselves.

Most Beautiful Black Women - Original Beauty

The truth is, dark skin women are very beautiful. It amazes me how the rest of the world doesn’t acknowledge that. That makes the rest of the world lost, with false concepts and ideologies about what true beauty is. The conditioning of  America claims that you have to have light skin or white skin to be beautiful. Centuries ago, black people would pay these concepts no mind. But as technology increased, along with that came the technology that the mass media could use to carry out virtually any agenda.

Today in news articles and stories on television, people have been programmed to deny that dark skin women are beautiful. This has effected the rest of the world so vastly.


Psychology

Society has attacked dark skin black women so much that even black men have begun carrying out a misguided agenda against black women, claiming that they are not beautiful and less of a woman. There have even been popular media channels set up on social networks, where black men have basically set up channels to denounce dark skin women.

The popularity of degrading black women has effortlessly caught on with black men. It appears that even when being black is the butt of a joke, black people participate in an effort to fit in. What is commonly seen and thought of as high school mentality, has apparently shifted to the masses. This time, the joke isn’t about black men. Because black men feel like they are free from this particular attack, some willingly chime in and degrade black women as well.


Some, if not most, black men are handing their black women over to the wolves in a desperate attempt to fit in with a supremacist white society that has downgraded and killed black men and black women for centuries. It’s put to black men as if now they have justification for the predicament they are in.

Let’s blame the black women because she didn’t do a good job raising the black man.But this is not fair and this is not accurate. For if anyone deserves to be punished for their role in bringing up black men, enough blame can be passed to black men. The burden is for the black men and black women to share together.

Trend

The new trend of black men attacking dark skin black women is a frightening game that will have vast frightening repercussions. If a dark skin man devalues a dark skin women based on hype, then in essence, he is not only downgrading his mother and all the women and ancestors of his family, but he is also downgrading himself. Wouldn’t this make him less of a man at best?

The black woman is without argument, the most beautiful gender on the planet. She comes in vast colors and shapes and sizes. But you can always recognize a black woman by how her body is shaped and how she is built. The black woman is built strong and her shape is something to be desired. Even when the black woman is not trying to be sexy, she automatically is sexy. The black woman possesses a figure that no other on the planet has. Black women are physically strong and usually dominant athletically.

Final thoughts

When you see a picture of a black, natural woman, rather than think, “ She's pretty, for a dark skin woman” shift your thoughts to “She's sexy . She's sensual. She's erotically beautiful. She deserves our adoration !

Gone are the days when men were the only ones cheating.

Here Are Some Obvious signsYour Partner May Be Sleeping With Someone Else


Sex is No Longer Exciting.


Sadly, there’s no sure-fire way of knowing that your significant other is sleeping around behind your back, but there are many suspicious characteristics that could reveal this shady behavior. For instance, if sex between you and your partner suddenly becomes disinteresting, that’s a strong sign.


It's Not Fun Being Around You Anymore

What do you mean?
 I'm still the same fun guy
 I was when you met me! 

If the excitement is gone outside of the bedroom, and time together has become a slog all of a sudden for no particular reason, that’s a powerful indication that they’ve lost interest. Why? It may be because there’s someone else in the equation.


Long Delays in Communication


If they can’t get back to calls or texts in time, you’re not wrong for wondering why. Naturally, if someone’s deprioritized you or are juggling two lovers, they’ll have a hard time managing all that correspondence. Beware of this.



Your Partner is Always Late

I told you he would show up eventually
Late as always.
 Probably  told his wife he has to work late,
 my husband is out of town, so I can hang all night .

This goes to the last point. The fact is that managing one relationship is hard. Managing two means something’s gotta give and your partner could wind up spreading themselves too thin, meaning they’re always running behind.

Look at Your Finances.


If your partner claims to be working extra hours, but doesn’t have the pay to show for it, or is spending money like water, but you can’t account for it, it’s a sign they’re hiding...something. As to what that is, well that remains to be seen, but be suspicious.


They Suddenly Carry a Second Phone


This is as close to a smoking gun as there can be. It’s possible that work-related reasons could cause this new addition, but otherwise, it may mean that there’s something to hide. Whatever it may be, it’s not good, otherwise they’d tell you.