Who feels betrayal more Men or Women?

You promised you would never betray me! but you did!

Why do we feel emotionally betrayed if our partner sleeps with another person, even 

though we all know that sex does not necessarily involve love? There are two kinds

of cheating: physical and emotional. The author of the above question is clearly asking

about sexual cheating, however I will address both because in my opinion neither is 

worse than the other (but then again I'm a man).

Sexual (Physical) Cheating

Sex is a biological function. While for the majority of people it is most satisfying when
emotions like love and affection are involved, emotions are not necessary at all for sex
to happen, or for sex to be physically pleasurable. Anyone who's enjoyed casual sex
or had a one-night stand can agree with this.

Couples, whether they're dating or in a long-term committed relationship, pretty
much always involve their emotions in the bedroom, back seat of a car, bathtub,
even kitchen counter.These romantic relationships thrive not just on sexual intimacy,
but also on the core needs of honesty, trust and respect between partners.
Two poeple can have an amazing sex life, but if they don't trust and respect
each other, they will encounter some  suffering and pain in their relationship.

Cheating is not about the physical act of sex. Cheating is about lies,
deceit, and betrayal. A cheater is not simply defined as someone who is intimate
with a person who is not his/her primary partner. A cheater is someone who
establishes a boundary of sexual/emotional monogamy with one partner,  
then gets intimate with a different person anyway, and lies about it.

A cheater betrays their partner, deceives them, and lies about what they've done.

There's a plethora of non-monogamous couples who walk this Earth,
and successfully maintain their romantic relationships while having sex
with other people who aren't their primary partner.

Emotional (Mental) Cheating

You can also call this emotional transference.

Can you keep what we just did a secret?

Emotional cheating is when one partner

begins to bond emotionally with a third party
in a way that feels, to the other partner, like an
act of betrayal. This is cheating just as much
 as sexual infidelity is cheating - but it's much

less discussed, because everyone seems to
have this idea of cheating being a solely
physical act of betrayal. Emotional cheating could be a girlfriend repeatedly revealing her
personal issues to a guy who's not her boyfriend, while she discusses her personal issues with
her actual boyfriend less and less. It could be a husband spending more quality time with a
co-worker than he spends with his own wife. Emotional cheating is more about the way
it makes the cheated-on partner feel betrayed, than the method of betrayal itself.
Sometimes one partner cheats on the other emotionally, without even realizing they're doing it
-- and that stems from a breakdown of communication and/or trust in the relationship.
Anyone who has experienced the effect of emotional cheating, anyone who's felt betrayed
because their partner was "transferring" their feelings of affection or closeness to another,
will tell you that it's just as hurtful as sexual cheating. Emotional cheating comes
from the same place as sexual cheating: there is a basic lack
of trust and respect for each other between partners. One party feels it can't
be honest with the other, or maybe the feeling is mutual.
The method of cheating is different; the result is the same.

We don't feel emotionally betrayed simply because our partner is physically intimate
with another person. We feel emotionally betrayed because our partner does something
that we feel communicates their lack of respect for and trust in our relationship.

Boundaries are different for every couple, especially
these days.
The concept of betrayal can run
the gamut from a years-long affairs,

to a girl's boyfriend stealing a glance
at another girl's ass.
On a very basic level, cheating is betrayal in any form, and betrayal is a symptom of
a relationship that lacks trust and honest.Many couples will disagree on what
constitutes betrayal -and this itself is problematic, because if you don't understand
your own boundaries in a relationship, you can pretty much guarantee you're going
to hurt your partner, or get hurt, whether you intend to or not.

So which woman would a  modern day man do this for? 
The betrayed woman  as he apologizes!
Or  the other woman, as he is trying to impress her?

I will end on this note:

How you feel about cheating depends a lot on your gender.  
Our nature has evolved to ensure the survival of our species
by two distinct roles: man and woman.  

The man impregnates the woman and protects her while she
comes to term, and provides for her throughout the
nurturing process (many decades, ideally).  

The man expects the child to be his and will
fight any man trying to copulate with 'his' woman.
The woman expects the man to support her in this way

and trusts that she is the only priority in his life
(otherwise, in the wild,

she is a bit screwed).

If either the man or woman break this fundamental
trust, then they have big problems: the male is raising a child
that is potentially not his and the female is facing raising
a child with no support.  If you look at this from the view

of optimizing genetic reproduction: ideally, men would be
the sole mate of as many females as possible and women
would have both the best genetic material from the father
as well as the support of the best protector/provider.  

In both cases, polygamy is probably the best way to
achieve it It is literally impossible to overstate the
importance of honesty, trust, and respect

in any partnership.
Do it, "Just Once" and it can become a good habit!

Let's fight just for fun

In a relationships fights are inevitable, but the repercussions of these situations
lead you to find every tiny habit of your partner annoying. Also, there is nobody
who would like to accept the fact that they are annoying and deny or shadow their
habits by a not so valid reason. Well, knowing the reason why a certain situation
or habit of your partner annoys will help you bridge the gap and strengthen the
relationship.

If your partner is annoyed with you then it definitely is a cause for concern
and if a particular habit constantly annoys your partner then talking about it
is the best solution. Communication is imperative to resolve any hitch in
the relationship and talking about what annoys you can help sort things out
in a cordial manner.

If the annoyance continues for a long period of time then it cannot be taken
casually and should be discussed and worked on at that instant. In a relationship,
if you are trying to impress your partner, but also being a reason for their annoyance,
then that isn't a good sign. It is necessary to read the signs and work on it. Identifying
those reasons are imperative and you need to bring amends immediately to have
a smooth sailing ship. So, here are 6 signs that your partner is annoyed with you.

Their jokes have a hidden motive.

Making a joke at the expense of the other is not an ideal thing to do, but with your
partner, it goes to a different level. Your partner might mask their reason of
annoyance behind a joke to make it sound humorous, whilst making their point.
Well, criticism hurts the most when your partner brings it up especially, which
is focused on your personality or character flaws. Instead of focusing on the
problem they end up make a broad generalization about your personality.

Don't mess with me, I will go off on you!

This can lead to a cold-war or a passive-aggressive rebuttal depending on
your personality, but this is not the most cordial way of resolving a problem in
the relationship. It would deteriorate the foundation fabric of the relationship,
but talking about it in a calm manner and openly about what may be causing
them to react in a certain manner can help resolve the issue.
So it might not be a BAD behavioral testing set of sessions…
Where you agree to test out annoyances to discuss  what you can resolve,
before it gets to be a situational cause for splitting up.

They are always on the defensive

Defensiveness is another way that your partner might adopt to hint
that they are annoyed with you. Being on the defensive means that
they are not going to take responsibility for anything and will be blaming
you for everything that goes wrong. There are various reasons why they
are making you the prime reason for putting you in such a situation.

If this becomes a mundane scenario then you need to sit down and talk
with your partner immediately. Discussing the problem and understanding
what chain of events have made them react in a manner can help sort it out
in a more understanding manner.

Forgetting to respond to texts and calls

OK I have to put  money in the the Jar for not responding  to his text

You would have a fair share of texting and talking over the phone in the initial
stages relationship and if it abruptly dissipates into one word-replies or no
replies at all it is a reason to worry. It is like an emotional disconnect due to
them being annoyed at you and identifying this hint can help resolve the
problem faster.

You do not need to play any games and wait for a specific duration of time
to text them, but interpreting their response patterns can have a few meanings
and recognizing the cause can help in taking the appropriate choice of action.
Agree to deposit cash for deliberately not responding, this fund can be used
for a night out on the town together where both of you can have fun at the
expense of both of your BAD attitudes.

Physically present, but mentally absent

If your partner seems to zone out when you are together or is doing her
thing when it is couple time then she is annoyed with you, but not sharing it.
If you find them looking into their phone while talking

or eat rather than responding or eating then there is something
bothering her. This behavioral change might be contrary to their
previous attitude towards you, which makes it a reason to worry.

Her shift can happen for two reasons either because she honestly
do not know (highly improbable) or she is not sharing it. You might question
the legitimacy of your thoughts, regardless asking her about it can lead you
into a conversation that is long overdue. Conversations can allow the other
person to vent.... and both can have a better understanding as to what
the issues are.

They are not as responsive as they once were

Tell me what's wrong , or I will tickle you until you do!

It is understandable that the romance fades away to a certain extent after
the relationship matures with time. But if this seems to be a deliberate attempt
then you need to talk. There are many couples who do mushy things and do
overly romantic gestures to express their love for each other.

But, the reason to worry is when the other begins to pull away signaling
the distance or completely brushes it off not even acknowledging the efforts.
This is the time when you need to sit down and have a discussion about
what is bothering them and if there is something about you that you need
to shine up a little bit.

They start keeping to themselves often

This is My chill time don't bother me!

Setting aside time for yourself away from the hustle and bustle is natural
to get peace of mind. In a relationship, your partner might need her space
from time to time, but if there is a regular need to stay alone and quiet for
an excessive amount of time then you should trace back and introspect.

It is not certain that you are the cause of distress, but you should ask,
which also shows that you care and a good way to find out if you did
something to upset them. At this stage, you need to talk about the
problems and discuss it at length because it is a sign of distance.
Additionally, if your partner keeps to herself more often because of
something about you that is upsetting her then you need to act
before it is too late.

When you realize that your partner is annoyed at you and not sharing
it there is a multitude of options you can adapt to resolve the situation.
Not responding or recognizing these issues can put your relationship
towards the path of a breakup. Also, while discussing the reasons you
will take it personally, but you need to retain a steady head to cordially
solve the matter and retain the relationship. An essential ingredient of
a relationship is acceptance and accepting your partner for who they
are and retaining the love is the recipe.

When you realize that your partner is annoyed at you and not sharing
it there is a multitude of options you can adapt to resolve the situation.
Not responding or recognizing these issues can put your relationship
towards the path of a breakup. Also, while discussing the reasons you
will take it personally, but you need to retain a steady head to cordially
solve the matter and retain the relationship. An essential ingredient of a
relationship is acceptance and accepting your partner for who they are
and retaining the love is the recipe.

Final thoughts:

Most of what I addressed in this blog were not addressed in my personal relationships over my years of being with someone. Neither my ex-wife nor any other women were ever given this much "let's fix it thoughts." I have learned to put myself in the other person's position and ask myself if what is running around in my head is what, the other person is experiencing because for what ever reasons. I can be intuitive, and a good listener and fixer... but don't always see the need to go the extra mile. I can be a silently a reserved person this can confuse and frustrate the other person,
to point where they want to kill me, or love me!

But now I'm about "sailing on" and "float on"

Behaviors of A Woman That You Never Want to Let Go!

If you're the "one," then I hope I don't wake up and find out I was dreaming.

The following  indicate that your woman is the right person for you:

Why am I, still single…? I’ve been asked a few times here of late…
so I asked who would be a  perfect woman for me… these were some
of the responses I received.

I’m a bit of a cynic.  So..... just picture me (smirking)
on most of these. responses

She has the following good points:

She “radiates” sweetness

There are tough and strong women out there which can also be
sweet at the same time. A woman in love is not afraid of showing
how she feels. She will express her love by kissing your cheek or
holding your hand without being shy about it.

If she is kind to other people, whether it is your friend, mother or a
distant relative, not just you it is also a very good sign.

These types of women are hard to find these days, many
good women hide their good nature, and shield themselves…. out of fear of
being hurt by men who seldom appreciate them, for who they are naturally.
The good women with strong moral character  become self protecting
of their feeling, their good hearted-ness makes them vulnerable in this
World of predators. After being hurt once or a few times, they may
retreat into a harder cover shell…. Not letting others get too close!

She makes you smile without much effort

A couple that does not laugh together is not a happy couple.
You have probably noticed at least one couple that seems….
too formal and distant.

You should always seek to keep the one who makes you smile
and laugh often. Being able to laugh together makes you feel
connected more which is something you should take care of.

Contrary to the old saying “Opposites attracts.”
The  good nature women is most likely attracted to male
who shows her his good heart. It you seem like  a hard,
seldom warm man,mostly cold with little emotions BAD-boy,
she will most likely avoid you like the plague. If you seem unkind,
or fake kind, she will not let you get anywhere near her.

You want to spend more time with her

We assume you have been at least in one relationship where
spending time with your partner seemed like a chore. Don’t worry
because you are not the only one.

A woman who makes you count the minutes until the next time
you see her is the one you should keep close to you. It is always
a positive sign if you always look forward to your dates.

Each encounter with someone worthy of being your life
should have the possibility of being  remembered and
categorized as a special event,

She gives you compliments

No matter how horrible you think you look in your
stained sweaty-shirt with your sweat dripping messy  
face, while doing the lawn…. she will still find something
she likes about you. Even if you are not making enough money
she will compliment your devotion and hard work.

Here is where we men get a bit uncomfortable,
unless the woman is in our scope we don’t feel the comfort level
with compliments as real coming our way, without having
worked for it . Unless she is complimenting a man on his good taste
in clothing, car, home etc....   Not making enough money
is usually a deal breaker.

She changes her plans for you

The couples that stay together their entire lives are
those who are willing to sacrifice for each other. She doesn't
mind coming over even if it is 3 a.m. to make you soup because
you have food poisoning. She doesn’t mind driving 1 hour to pick
you up because your car broke down. She will also do little things
that will show how much she loves you.

Really? Sorry, I have never experienced this one!
Her plans are set in granite unless your plans are so fantastic
that she just could not resist. Being spoiled by your generous offer!

She doesn’t ask for too much

Having a low maintenance partner is one of the important
things you should be thankful for. If you don’t expect her to demand
something any time you walk through a mall, she is definitely a keeper.

Women that don’t ask too much from their partner are also more
responsible and self-reliant. However, even though she doesn’t
ask anything from you it does not mean that you shouldn’t surprise
her with gifts from time to time.

Really? Sorry, I have, once again, never experienced this one either!
Too much is a matter of interpretation  men see a request,
on sticky note on the fridge, to take out the garbage as
too much trouble to comply with… So don’t expect any man
to ever feel like it’s not too much, whatever it is ….
If you feel like you have to ask more than once .
However , it’s not too much, if he does it without
being asked, at all, or just once.  

7.You can trust her

Even though this one is last on the list it is probably the most
important. Being honest with your partner is the key to a
meaningful and intimate relationship. In case your partner
has never made you doubt her faithfulness, then you are very lucky.

You might also never suspect she has hidden motives because
she actually does not have any. And if she tells you more than you
need to know, she really trusts you, so never let her go.

Really? Sorry, I have yet to experience this one.
Either I may be  a too cynical but everyone I know have hidden motives…
when they are not revealed up front……. they are hidden…….

Final thoughts.

I'm honestly surprised by the majority of the answers  that were given

The first thing my mother ever taught me about women is:
"they function with emotions, they overthink more often than not,
even when you don't think it will be (A) she is already
considering (B), ©,(D) (E) and (F.)  They act using with Junction
points are linked to an emotion with all sorts of chemicals
in the brain associated with bonding, love, reward, and pleasure.
When you add to that the fact that what  women want is
intimacy with options that is dictated by their
fantasies, you start to realize that it's impossible to
have consistency without triggering a temporary  
bonding/rejection response, that can be overridden
at a moments notice, scratch that you will not even see it coming.