Being single could help you live longer

 

people keep asking me why am I still single

Ladies, stop worrying about being single – it could actually help you live longer.

You’ve probably lost track of the number of times someone has asked “so when are you going to settle down?” or “I can’t understand why a lovely woman like you is still single.”

There seems to be no end to the fairly personal reminders that you aren’t in a relationship.

But then, why should you be if you are happy doing your own thing?

And it turns out there are several health benefits to being single so if you are enjoying it, embrace it.

The 2011 census data showed that 51 percent of adults in England and Wales were single.

It was a three percent rise from the 47 percent who were single in 2001.

So what benefits do you get from not being in a relationship?

If you’re single you have less responsibility to other people.

That means you can go out when you like, chat to people when you like and your social life is entirely in your hands.

In fact, figures from the American Bureau of Labor Statistics showed single people spent more time chatting to friends than married couples.

Single people spend an average of 12 minutes a day staying in touch with other people over phone calls and emails.

But married people only spend about 7.8 minutes doing the same.

“Singles spend more time in touch with other people, both in person and through other media.”

Socializing and feeling like you are part of the community is important for maintaining your mental health.

Single people have a lower body mass index (BMI.)

That’s according to a study published in the Journal of Family issued in 2015.

Experts found that single adults, no matter their sexual orientation, have a lower body weight.

On the other hand, those who live with a partner tend to have a higher BMI.

The Western Washington University study looked at 20 years data of more than 3,000 participants.

People experienced a sudden weight loss after a divorce and single people were thought the be skinnier because they wanted to look their best to attract a new partner.

You get more down time

Those who are single have more time to themselves to spend on holiday, learning, exercising, adventuring – whatever they want, really.

Single people spend, on average, 5.56 hours a day on overall leisure time, reports Business Insider UK.

Whereas married people only focus 4.87 hours of their day on leisure.

Several studies have found that leisure time reduces stress and therefore improves your mental health.

But there are other benefits too.

Studies have found that those who chose to spend their downtime partaking in physical activities have better heart health and lower blood pressure.

Single people sleep better

Getting a good night’s sleep is really important to your overall health.

People who sleep well tend to have healthier hearts, a lower BMI and have more energy overall.

And recently it was reported that getting a good night’s sleep was more important than sex when it comes to living well.

A survey by Amerisleep found that single people get the most sleep.

They get an average of 7.13 hours a night.

But those in a relationship slept for 7.07 hours and those who were married slept for just 6.71 hours.

Single people have less debt and legal responsibilities

No spouse and kids means you’re only spending money on yourself.

So that makes saving and keeping the stress of debt at bay much easier.

And if you are less stressed, you are healthier.

Stress has been found to promote disease and ruin your heart.

Experts from Johns Hopkins University found that children exposed to chronic stress are more likely to develop a mental illness when they are older.

And stress has been linked to cancer, lung disease, suicide and cirrhosis of the liver.

According to a 1996 study published in the journal Circulation, stress thickens your arterial walls.

This makes it harder for your heart to pump blood around your body, so therefore increases your risk of heart disease.

Now let us discuss men who might live longer by being married

Men who have marital partners also live longer than men without spouses; men who marry after age 25 get more protection than those who tie the knot at a younger age, and the longer a man stays married, the greater his survival advantage over his unmarried peers.

Both married men and single men of a certain age, may remember the tune, if not the words:

Love and marriage, love and marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage.
This I tell you, brother,
You can't have one without the other.

Much has changed, obviously, since the horse and buggy days. And when it comes to marriage, there have also been enormous changes since Sammy Cahn penned his romantic lyrics in the Ozzie and Harriet era. Many people find love without getting married, and many marriages turn loveless and hostile as divorce rates soar. Single parenting is now common, and society is becoming increasingly comfortable with various patterns of cohabitation.

Although it's hard to be sure, marriage seems to deserve at least part of the credit for men living longer. Some have argued that self-selection would skew the results if healthy men are more likely to marry than men with health problems. But research shows the reverse is true: unhealthy men actually marry earlier, are less likely to divorce, and are more likely to remarry following divorce or bereavement than healthy men.

Another potential factor is loneliness; is the institution of marriage linked to better health, or is it simply a question of living with another person? Although studies vary, the answer seems to be a little of both. People living with unmarried partners tend to fare better than those living alone, but men living with their wives seem to have the best health of all.

Are Men Really Attracted to Smart Women?

Is this How female intelligence impacts attraction.

How do smart women fare relationally in the real world? The difference can depend on many other things, and other personality traits, such as kindness, humility, and even a sense of humor. But at the beginning of a relationship, when prospective partners are just becoming acquainted, is intelligence alluring or off-putting? Or does it depend on how it is displayed? Thankfully, research has some answers.

Attraction and Psychological Distance

Lora E. Park et al. (2015) investigated the impact of psychological distance and intelligence on men’s attraction to women.[i] They note that interpersonal attraction can be cultivated through a measure of psychological distance, defined as “the subjective experience that a target is close to or far from the self,” as well as through perceived trait comparison between oneself and the other person.

They found that with targets who were psychologically distant, men were more attracted to women who displayed more intelligence than they had. By comparison, with targets who were psychologically near, men were less attracted to women who were smarter than they were.

Through their research, Park et al. provide a unique way to understanding how the process of social comparison interacts with psychological distance to influence interpersonal attraction. Recognizing that many people describe an ideal partner as having more favorable qualities than they do, they are not surprised that men would be attracted to psychologically distant targets who are smarter than they are.

In contrast, however, when evaluating women who are psychologically closer, they note that men may be more likely to rely on factors such as how masculine they are feeling in the moment when evaluating attraction. They note that men may be less attracted to women who outperform them in psychologically near conditions may stem from feeling less masculine.

To illustrate psychological distance in practice. Let  me give an example of a man agreeing to go on a blind date with a woman who is described as athletic and fun. That trait combination sounds great beforehand, but not so much once the pair ends up at a sports complex where the woman totally dominates him athletically both on the miniature golf course and in the batting cage. Thus, despite the attractive-sounding description beforehand, the first date becomes the last.

Hello I'm you blind date !

Attraction Through Authentic Admiration

So are intelligent women destined to turn off potential suitors who are not an intellectual match? Thankfully, no. In reality, and certainly over time, attraction is about much more than intelligence. Men and women often possess complementary traits that facilitate collaboration instead of competition. And speaking of using intelligence wisely, many people, both men and women, are smart enough to know how to bestow authentic admiration for the things a partner does well, creating a feeling of inspiration rather than intimidation.

There are both evolutionary and social motives behind a woman wanting an older man. Irrespective of the motive, both parties will have to overcome much stigma and many stereotypes to be together.

Many people will stop and gawk when they see an older man holding hands or kissing a younger woman in public. It has to do with cultural norms and what society expects. People passing have no clue about this couple, yet they are ready to make snap judgments on what they see.

Many studies have been conducted on these types of relationships, and science has come up with a few answers.

Women Still Can’t Have It All

after a few dates I will ghost him so he will wonder what he did wrong

 Have you ever met a woman you really liked, went on a few dates with her, and everything seemed to be going great until she suddenly disappeared a few weeks later?

Trouble meeting your own emotional needs can have a significant impact on your romantic relationships, and subconsciously, this can push away your dream woman.

When you're emotionally dependent,  you'll typically need a lot of reassurance and support from your partner.

Fellahs you might, for example, regularly ask things like:

"Do you really love me?"
"Am I bothering you?"
"Do you really want to spend time with me?"
"How do I look to you?"
"You don’t want to break up, do you?"

If you often experience feelings of insecurity or self-doubt, you might need their approval to feel good about yourself.

This need can trigger fears of what might happen if they leave or stop providing the reassurance you need.

• Is She just interested in being a cock tease

The discovery that more men than women hold positions of power rarely comes as a surprise. What may be more unexpected is that things are not always as they seem when women appear to have equality.

Countries can sometimes stand out for their efforts at getting women into positions of power.

Take, for example, Rwanda's appointment of a cabinet in which half of the posts went to women. Its move came just days after a gender-balanced cabinet was named in Ethiopia.

Elsewhere in the world, there are many striking examples of women having equality with men, or even outperforming them, in other jobs that offer power and influence.

Walk into a courtroom in Slovenia and the judge is four times more likely to be a woman than a man. In journalism, Namibia stands out: half of its top newsroom posts are held by women.

It is not difficult to find other countries which buck the trend for a particular job. Half of IT professionals in Malaysia are female, along with six out of 10 medical researchers in New Zealand and five out of 10 engineers in Oman.

How is a man supposed to solve a woman's fertility problem

 Pick Your Battles: How to Handle Insensitive Comments About Fertility.

So a woman has doubts about her fertility, so she  come to the relationship already knowing that she may not have kids in the future.  But she is hoping that the right man will change that.

If you are working through fertility issues, you've probably learned that you can't share your experience with everyone. No doubt, someone will say something that dismisses your feelings or outright offends you.

The holiday season can be especially hard to navigate, with friends and family asking tons of invasive questions. Even when they are well-meaning, it can be gutting to be asked again and again at the family holiday party when you’re going to give mom a grandbaby. Many people simply don't understand what it's like to go through challenges trying to conceive.

The key is to resist the urge to fire back. You don't need added stress of trying to navigate insensitive comments. Dealing with negativity gracefully—or not at all—can help you skip the fuming phase and get back to your day.

Below are Five Common Insensitive Comments

"Maybe it's not meant to be."

This comment is painful on multiple levels. First of all, it assumes defeat, like you will never conceive. It also removes all of the power from your hands—at a time when you may already feel like you are not in control.

The first thing to remember is that the person who is saying this isn't thinking about the deeper implications. She probably has no idea what to say. And instead of just keeping quiet, people grasp at clichés—not helpful. Some women have even heard this from their own doctors.

The best way to respond is not to. Silence can send the message that the comment was inappropriate. Then, make a note to yourself that you should avoid the topic with this person going forward.

"Fertility issues? I could just look at my husband and get pregnant."

This kind of "it's easy for me" comment is annoying and belittling. How you respond depends on how close you are to the person.

If this is a random person you decided to vent to at the coffee shop, then feel free to just laugh, since she's clearly trying to make a joke. If this is your grandmother, who's so old she just says whatever she wants, let it slide—especially if she really did have 10 kids.

But if this is someone close to you, like a sister or best friend, you may want to address it more directly. Calmly explain that you'd rather her try to understand your experience, rather than compare it to her own.

"Whose fault is it?" or "What's wrong with you?"

Let's assume that this person is genuinely asking about the cause of the fertility issues, not acting like you have a contagious virus. These are deeply personal—not to mention poorly phrased—questions, whether or not the person asking knows it.

If you even know the cause, you have to be cautious about what you share. Answering this question honestly may mean revealing more than you or your partner is comfortable with.

If you don't want to go into detail, then say something like, "The reasons are personal, but we're working through them."

"How are you paying for all that?"

No one would ask how you managed to pay for a new car or your new home. And if you disclose too much about the out-of-pocket costs of fertility treatment, you may open yourself up to judgment, depending on who's asking.

If it's coming from someone else dealing with fertility issues, you may feel more comfortable sharing your advice. Or if it's coming from someone who wants to make sure you're okay financially, that may be fine too.

But if it's someone just being nosy or wondering if you've got a hidden stash, feel free to brush this comment off: "We're handling the costs just fine." Next subject.

"Why don't you just adopt? There are a lot of kids out there."

The underlying social commentary here can be really hard to take.

While the person may be trying to offer a solution, this comment implies that something's wrong with wanting to experience pregnancy and give birth to your own child, or that adopting an infant will be easier.

It also implies that you should give up trying to conceive. This might be the hardest comment to respond to because just about anything you say could continue the conversation.

If you choose to address this question, here's the truth: You and your partner owe it to yourselves to try until you feel at peace about moving on to the next possibility. That may mean adoption. It may mean trying another fertility treatment.
The best way to address this comment but end the conversation is to be direct: "We know that adoption is an alternative, but we're not ready to give up trying to conceive."

 My conclusion:

I  was born to 45 year old mother, who had a still born baby before she had me so I'm very grateful that she didn't give up. I'm very grateful that my Dad didn't give up on my mother either. let's face it if he thought it was just her problem, he could have left and tried with another woman but he wanted to be a father to me  his only child.. and have a child with my mother. There are so many tough issue surrounding this topic. Best of luck to couples who are struggling with this.

HER TEASING MAKES HER WORLD GO ROUND

I'm just teasing you!

 Sexual teasing involves the possibility of sex, then the withdrawal of the perceived invitation.

Teasing violates a standard piece of relationship advice—communicate clearly. But people often don't, especially in dating and the interpersonal dance that precedes sex. In those situations, communication is often indirect and ambiguous, what we call it flirting or teasing.

But in flirting, implied interest in the other person is sincere and involves the real possibility of a sexual relationship. In teasing, the intent is insincere. The teaser uses personal charm (words, jokes, gestures, touch) to excite the other, exerting power over that person, but all the recipient gets is confusion, frustration, and possibly embarrassment.

I'm just a teaser

Researchers  have found that Sixty percent of both the men and women recalled being teased at least once. More women (64 percent) than men (43 percent) said they'd been conscious teasers. Men recognize that women tease more than they do, in fact, many men call it "cock teasing."

Very few respondents said they'd teased a stranger. Usually, the target was a friend or acquaintance. In fact, in 25 percent of reported teasing incidents, the teaser had previously had intercourse with the target, and half the teasers had previously been sexual with the target in some other way.

Men and women generally had similar motives for teasing, namely: I wanted to make the person want me sexually. I wanted to see how much the person wanted me.

But women were considerably more likely than men to say: I wanted to feel attractive and/or desirable. I wanted to feel in control, powerful. I didn't want to seem too "easy" by having sex right away. I was scared of being pressured into sex, so I did it to buy some time, to look for an out.

Men were considerably more likely to say: I wanted to turn myself on. I wanted to see how far I could get. I did it as a joke or on a dare or bet. I wanted to have something to tell my friends later.

Teasers ascribed generally benign motives to their teasing. They called it harmless fun, flirting with an edge. But they recognized that it was more fun for them than for their target. Recipients had less predictable reactions. In one-third of recalled incidents, the target reacted positively, joking and laughing about being teased. About one-third expressed indifference ("whatever"). About 15 percent of targets ignored the teaser. And approximately 15 percent said that being teased upset them.

The researchers also conducted quick personality inventories on study participants. Personality type had very little to do with teasing. Anyone and everyone is a potential teaser.

This study makes teasing look like a step on the continuum of getting to know others, part of the process of sizing people up as potential romantic/sexual partners. Very few people tease strangers. Teasers generally focus on friends or acquaintances. In many cases, the teaser and the target have already been sexual together. So it looks like teasing represents a way to affirm (or reaffirm) interest in another while at the same time drawing a boundary, saying no trespassing.

This study focused mainly on college students. But the same dynamics are at work in the ways many spouses test the other's interest in sex. Teasing may feel playful to the person doing it. But targets often feel differently. Think about that the next time you're tempted to tease. And the next time you're on the receiving end of teasing, recognize it for what it is, part of the game of courtship, and a game you might lose.

My conclusion:

So what really turns men On

After age 30, the male libido becomes more like women’s. 

Popular maxims attest to the pervasive belief that men are always ready and eager to bed almost any woman:

• Men have only one thing on their minds.
• Men lust; women want to feel desired.
• What single word can women say to sexually arouse men? Hello.

Chances are you’ve heard one or more of these, which attests to the prevalence of assumptions about rampant male lust. But sexual urgency, the feeling that I need sex now, is age-related. Yes, lust can animate many young men—and many young women and non-binary individuals, too. But recent studies show that after age 30, men’s desire for sex becomes more nuanced, more complex—and in contrast to the stereotype, more like women’s. don't panic guys if you aren't 30 yet you still have a window. guys over 50 may be more like women. but around 30... Hell no!

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What Does It Mean When Someone Says You're A Keeper?

 

Compare to women, men are not as explicit with their emotions. You must have seen many cases where women complain about their men for not being romantic and hardly says “I love you”. But do you know something? This kind of man is really worth  it. He never says romantic words but once he says something sweet, he really mean it.

Including when he told you "you are a keeper." What? A Keeper? For your information, the keeper he meant is not the one like goalkeeper in football. But if you don’t get it, you must be wondering what does it mean when someone says you’re a keeper.

It’s a good saying, for real. And if a man really ever told you this, you should be proud of yourself. Because here are the possible list of his meaning why did he call you this.

He Thinks You’re The One

A Keeper in a relationship means someone worth  keeping. And when he said that you’re a keeper, he knows that you’re the one. He takes the relationship seriously and he doesn’t intend to play with you. He really want to be with you because he knows you’re worth. You’re such a good woman in his eyes.

The way he professes " I love you” is by saying that you’re a keeper. You’re worthy of  being kept. 

He Wants To Keep You Forever

So he wants to keep you by his side, and he wants you forever. When a man says that you’re a keeper, prepare yourself not to be ever let go by him. He knows that a woman like you is very rare, and he probably will never get the chance to meet someone like you ever again. Not only is he  devoted to you, finding a man who wants you to stay by his side forever is not an easy feat as well. Remember that there are so many jerks around, he must be one of a kind.

He Loves You Dearly

When someone loves you this truly, he has different way to say that he loves you. Saying “I love you” is just too plain and too shallow for his ocean deep feeling. Keeper is a truthful confession of his love, and he has many more ways to do so. If you ever meet a guy like this, you should  not ever let go.

You’re Strong Enough That He Adores Your strength

Women tend to appear weak and vulnerable in front a man. But this is the Twenty first  century and a woman should be strong and capable to stand  her own ground. A man respect a strong woman more than he does one who appears weak. A woman that is strong enough makes a man adore her and surely wants to keep her forever. Show him what you’re worth because vulnerable is not sexy at all. Be strong and confidence, so that everyone around you can feel the vibe.

5. You Make Him Happy Because You Know How To Keep Him Happy

Happiness is contagious. Everyone wants to be with someone who is happy so that they can be happy also. It’s what he meant but he say it in a  romantic way that you wonder what did it mean. A happy woman is like magnet to a man he wants to stay with her.

 

You would stop wondering why if you knew why she complains

 Repetitive complaining will attract things for you to complain about. Repeated Gratitude will attract things for you to be thankful about. 

No one complains without  reasons especially when it comes to women. No woman likes to complain and whine all day long, however, if they do complain then there is a reason behind it. There are some very common reasons for some women to complain such as a disagreement with their husbands, financial issue or being disrespected; but that’s not all. Some women complain due to their selfish nature, whereas some complain and have a genuine reason behind it. Here are few that you might recognize.

1. Their Insecurity

who is this chick that loves all of your posts?

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1. Insecurity

This is one of the most common reason for a woman to complain. 

When she feels insecure, she will automatically nag and complain, 

she will question her man in a suspicious tone and complain in an interrogative way.

This helps them in looking for signs of being disloyal; she’ll complain about him not

 spending time with her and may even demand to know who he has been busy with.

To deal with this kind of woman you can easily spend time with her, give her access to your privacy

 and show her that you have nothing to hide.

Listen to what she has to say and soon it will all be okay.

2.  They Do It To hurt You Some women have a habit of holding grudges and then turn to revenge and avenging; to do this, they use nagging as a weapon.

They will not stop until their guy is tired and is going through hell; to handle this woman it is better 

to be upfront. Tell her right away how much her words hurt you, apologize and ask for her forgiveness. Take some time out for her and make her understand how much she means to you, this will help in making her put down 

her weapon.

3. Reaction to being threatened

Some women tend to complain as a form of being defensive especially if they view their man

as a threat to them. They complain and nag to show their man that she is equal to them.

To handle this woman it is important to let her know that you are on her side. Also, avoid being 

aggressive towards her.

4. To get her way

Some women have bullying personality; they try to complain and nag in order to get their way.

 This is all part of their plan and tactic. In order to handle this woman is to agree to what she says 

when she is in a good mood; this way she will not disagree when things get tough.

5. Misplaced fears

Some women have a bad habit of living their lives in fear.

They constantly worry and are paranoid; they tend to believe that something bad is going 

to happen to them. She will keep calling her man’s phone to know if everything is alright, 

she will constantly contact him, and she will look at this as care. When things don’t go according to her plan, she will nag and remain scared.

To handle this woman you can kiss her when she freaks, take care of her, provide her with 

a relaxed environment and pray with her when she worries.

6. Extreme expectations

Most women complain when their expectations are not reached; these women believe that their 

man is a result producing machine instead of being understanding. They nag their man when he

 doesn’t work according to their plan, they think of him as a failure and even mock him when he is not able to buy her something or meet her needs.

This kind of woman needs some time to cool down; she needs to take part in planning and help 

in executing it along with her man.

7. Impatience

Some women complain due to their impatient nature. They put pressure on them, they get unsettled

 and then start to doubt easily. To handle this lady, it is best that you bring attention to the fact that 

you love her and work on her weakness. Teach her to pray more, exercise with her and be patient.

8. They Seek attention

This is one of the most general reason why women complain. Some girls are attention hungry, 

and they nag to be noticed, they speak loudly so that you focus them. To handle this girl you can

 give her your time and attention and make her feel incredibly special.

Hope this article helped in making you understand why women nag. If your women belong

 to any of the above categories, then try to handle her properly. Always remember, a little love

 and attention goes a long way.