Why Men Prefer Emotionally Intelligent Women for Long-Term Relationships

 

I am mostly in love with how smart you are

Some men are very particular about the women THEY WANT. There is the kind of woman you date, and then there is the perfect someone to enjoy life with for the long haul. The difference between the two is the maturity of emotionally intelligent women.

Everybody wants to have fun and enjoy a fling or two, but when it comes to settling down and building a life with someone, you want it to be a person of substance. You want a woman who gets you on a different level and is mature enough to have children, a job, and keeps your relationship alive.

Why Do Men Prefer Emotionally Intelligent Women?

Have you ever heard that men are interested in some women because of their brains? Part of that is true that there needs to be some intellect to make conversations interesting. However, there are many reasons why intelligent women are so much more appealing than to most men these days.

For starters, they can maneuver the world of emotions and use their feelings to get positive results rather than negative results. Not only is this trait an asset in a relationship, but it’s also good to have in the workplace too.

These ladies know what it takes to live a balanced life and empower others to be a better version of themselves. Here are some other reasons why an emotionally intelligent woman attracts most smart men.

Emotionally Intelligent Women Make Peace with their Past

Sure, she has a past, and some parts of it are more complicated for her to handle. However, she ditched that emotional baggage long ago. She’s ready to have a new relationship because she’s not letting her past dictate her future.

They’re Willing to Say “No”

This woman is strong and determined, which makes her so attractive. Additionally, she knows that she can say “no” if her load gets too heavy. She loves herself enough to know when she’s taking on too much. Her compassionate nature extends to herself as well as others.

 They Keep Ethical Qualities in Both Business and Relationships

Emotionally intelligent women have mastered how to keep their moral compass in the corporate world and their personal life. They know how to control their conduct and treat each person with kindness regardless of their beliefs or views.

They’ve Mastered How to Read People

Reading people is an art form, and the intelligent gal can do it quickly. She knows to look for specific phrases they use, a particular look on their face, or body language.

You can never just focus on the speech pattern alone, as some folks can say the best things with a scowl on their face and hate in their heart. No matter, she won’t let the fakery get by her.

 They Remain Positive

It’s effortless for emotionally intelligent women to stay positive as they’ve learned how to silence the negative self-talk that tries to overwhelm them. Instead, they take the time to see why they might be feeling these negative emotions rather than giving in to these overwhelming feelings.

They Maintain Motivation from Within

This lady doesn’t need a pep talk from her man or someone to light a fire under her to get her going. Men love that she is focused and driven and has learned to enjoy the process along the way. She understands that the process will bring growth, and the best part of the journey isn’t always winning but the lessons you learn along the way.

Emotionally Intelligent Women Welcome Change and New Experiences

Why do people fear change so much? According to an article in Psychology Today, people are afraid of things they cannot control, and you have no way to predict the outcome during change. However, those with emotional intelligence don’t fear such shifts as they know that if they want to grow and have the best life, they must pursue good opportunities.

They Embrace Their Progress and Know They’re Not Perfection

A woman needs to accept herself for who she is before she can love someone else. A man is very attracted to the compassionate and warm personality towards others and herself. She knows that she’s not going to be perfect, and she’s okay with knowing that she’s a fallible human.

They Express Themselves Assertively and Not Aggressively

Being emotionally intelligent means that this lady has mastered knowing the difference between assertive and aggressive. Assertive people know how to advocate for their rights respectfully. While an aggressive person is vastly different because they don’t have the assertive individual’s calm control.

You don’t have to be domineering to ensure people stay within your boundaries. According to an article in Personal Development Master, an assertive person tries to avoid any altercations or resistance, while the aggressive person embraces it. It helps that she’s open-minded when it comes to conflict resolution.

Emotionally Intelligent Women Are Empathetic

Since this lady is so in touch with her emotions, it’s effortless for her to relate to other folks. She also can read people, so she uses these emotional cues to see the hurt. A man loves that a woman can understand what’s going on in his mind, and he doesn’t even have to open his mouth.

They’re Receptive to Constructive Criticism

Constructive criticism is hard for even the strongest person to take, but this lady knows that it’s what’s necessary for growth. While no one likes to hear how they can make things better, she knows this isn’t a personal attack. She embraces people who take time and effort to help her become a better version of herself.

Final Thoughts

After looking through this list, it’s easy to see why men are attracted to emotionally intelligent women. When you’re looking for someone to have a long-term relationship with, you want them to be intelligent, assertive, compassionate, and have empathy towards others. Anyone that displays just a few of these characteristics is a breath of fresh air and someone worth investing time in.

Forgiveness Isn’t Always the Best Option

 

I guess we have reached that point to liquidate! Now that Our relationship is over
You go your way and I shall go mine.

When you’ve been hurt, you may feel pressure to accept forgiveness from the person who wronged you. Whether that pressure comes from society, family, or within, it can be hard to ignore it. Sometimes, though, forgiving isn’t the best option.

This may come as a shock because you mostly hear that forgiveness is essential. You will hear that it is the only way to heal and move on, but this isn’t always true.

By not forgiving someone, you are not dwelling on the past or harboring negative emotions. Instead, you are staying true to yourself. No matter what anyone tells you, you do not have to forgive someone who has wronged you.

Sometimes, not only is forgiveness not the best option; it may even become the worst option. It is up to you to decide, however, if you will forgive or not. Consider the situation as your other options, and then decide what will be best for you.

Just because you’re staying single, after a breakup, doesn’t mean you are lonely. Whether you’ve always been single or just left a relationship doesn’t matter. You will no doubt dodge many invasive questions from friends and family members.

While these prying family and friends mean well, you can remain a party of one and still be happy. A motto to live by is that it’s better to be single than to waste your life dealing with the wrong person.

Recent statistics report that about 50.2 percent of people in the United States are single, which is more than double the percentage in the 1950s. Of course, some of these people are widowed or divorced or are in a relationship but live separately. However, some are just enjoying their independence without a significant other, which is completely acceptable.

Final thoughts.

The term lets part as friends, is highly overrated. Some folks can do it while others can not. I've lived with women and did not marry  them... my excuse was I have already tried marriage. I've also stumped my little toe, and it was not fun, I don't see any reason to do that again either.

Why Stay In an Unhappy Marriage!

 

I want a separation, for period of time before we call in the lawyers 

If you’ve ever met someone in an unhappy marriage, you may wonder why they stick it out. Or, perhaps you’ve experienced dissatisfaction with married life yourself and know the reasons firsthand. Typically, couples want to honor their marriage vows and feel torn when getting a divorce. Sometimes, leaving a committed relationship can seem worse than the anguish of staying with your partner.

Of course, most people desire to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship well into their golden years. No one wants to have an unhappy marriage, but unfortunately, life isn’t always smooth-sailing.

Problems and disagreements inevitably arise, and some couples find that they aren’t compatible anymore( maybe they never were compatible). They may decide to dissolve their marriage or tough it out despite the glaring issues or incompatibilities.

Below, I will go over the main reasons people report staying in unsatisfying relationships.

 Investment of Time.

Many couples decide to remain in an unhappy marriage if they’ve invested many years into the relationship. If they’ve been together for a decade or more, they probably feel pretty comfortable in the relationship. They may not want to risk a divorce, even if they don’t necessarily feel happy in the marriage.

Perhaps the couple would rather stay married unhappily than look back at their relationship as wasted time. Called the sunk cost fallacy in the business world, it can also apply to marriage.

This theory states that the more resources and time one invests into something, the more one will continue investing in it. Studies show that couples would stay in an unhappy marriage the more money, time and effort had been invested in the relationship.

In that case, they might think being single would pose even more problems. They would have to start over from scratch and take on all the adult responsibilities alone. Some people see being married as the better, safer option, especially if they have a lot to lose.

They Still Have Feelings For Their Partner.

Even if a partner feels stuck in an unhappy marriage, they may still have feelings for their spouse. Those deep feelings don’t just disappear no matter how much the couple has drifted apart. People may also stay in toxic relationships because they don’t want to hurt their partners. They may realize the relationship no longer works but can’t bring themselves to leave.

They can’t live with them but can’t live without them. The saying observes how love is blind, and perhaps that universal sentiment keeps many people in unhappy marriages.

 Financial Concerns (this is the Big one).

Living costs a pretty penny in today’s world, and divorce only adds more stress to rising prices. Many people can’t afford to get divorced and have no choice but to stay in an unhappy marriage. The cost of divorce increases considerably if couples can’t agree on how to split resources. So, they may decide it’s too complicated and time-consuming to end their marriage.

Plus, their partner may have left full-time work to raise children or take care of the home. In this case, they would have no resources to start over independently. They might have to earn another degree or take a low-paying job to make ends meet. This puts them at a severe disadvantage in the workforce, especially if they’ve been out of work.

Some studies have found that people might stay in an unhappy marriage for their partner’s sake. For example, if their partner depends on them for financial stability, their chances of filing for divorce decrease. While they no longer feel content with their partner, they can’t bear to see them struggling to survive.

They Have Kids Together.

Having kids together makes the prospect of divorce much less appealing. In this case, ending a marriage affects the whole family and can have lifelong impacts on a child’s emotional health. Some people stay together for the kids because they know children need stability to thrive. However, some research shows that children fare better if their parents leave an unhappy marriage.

Divorce does have detrimental impacts on children, but they will heal as time goes on. However, keeping children in a stressful, unstable environment causes even more significant problems for their mental health. In this case, having joint custody of the children would probably benefit everyone equally. But, the couple must decide what’s best for their family.

They Fear Backlash From Friends or Family.

A terminated marriage can create tension in even the most tight-knit families, especially if their religion or culture looks down on divorce. Sometimes, people remain in unhappy marriages to avoid backlash from their family or peers.

They may not want to deal with the humiliation or drama of getting divorced. The couple may also have mutual friends and not want to lose them by breaking up.

In most cases, a failed marriage affects the extended family, and couples usually consider this when discussing divorce. Collectivist cultures may even shun couples who get divorced, making them more likely to remain in unhappy marriages.

However, studies have shown that staying in toxic relationships can reduce well-being even more than being single. In other words, it’s better for your health to leave dysfunctional relationships, even if your family disagrees.

 They Believe Things Will Improve.

Finally, people may decide to stay together despite being unhappy if they have hope for the future. Perhaps they’ve convinced themselves that somehow, their partner will change, and they will eventually feel satisfied. They might even ignore any issues, reasoning that they can enjoy the good parts of the marriage instead.

Maybe if I  could just ignore her nagging, I can still  live with her.

Final Thoughts 

People stay in dysfunctional relationships for many reasons, usually due to finances, time invested, and fear of change. No matter how toxic the marriage, they may prefer familiarity rather than starting over with someone new. They may have children together and not want to burden them with a divorce.

However, most studies show that couples and children fare better once an unhealthy marriage has ended. If couples can’t resolve their differences, it’s usually best for everyone involved to move on amicably.

Is there a gentleman in the house?

A Gentlemen used to be defined by their aristocratic birth, but these days they are often thought to be a dying breed. From James Bond to Prince Charming, true gentlemen are often the stuff of fantasy.

Think you might have found a true gentleman? Your man might not be born into the life of a gentleman, but if he shows these signs, then he’s on the right track.

If you were to define a true Gentleman these days, you might think of one with some of if not all of these qualities,

His heart is in the right place.

He might not always succeed, but your gentleman has good intentions at heart when he acts. Doing the right thing isn’t his motto, it’s his way of living. He’s kind even to strangers and inspires kindness in return.

He puts others at ease.

People find it easy to talk to him and they feel better when they’re around him. He can make people feel comfortable even in the most awkward of social settings. Meeting the parents for the first time? Don’t worry, within a half hour, they’re already calling him ‘Son.’ You’ve never waltzed before? He makes you feel like you’ve got moves like Cinderella.

He’s charismatic and people are drawn to him. He likes to make people laugh and is usually smiling himself. A true gentleman doesn’t have to take a class in etiquette, because he could teach it himself.

He respects your needs.

He could hold the door for you every time, but if you’ve chosen to show your independence by getting it yourself, he’s supportive of that too. Chivalry isn’t dead to him, but he also knows that you can slay a dragon all by yourself.

He cares about you and demonstrates that with his actions. You’ve found a true gentleman if he takes time to learn what pleases you. Sex with him is more about your pleasure than his. He takes pleasure in doing what makes you happy.

He takes pride in his appearance.

You’ve found a true gentleman if he never offends you with his odor or appearance. He combs his hair, shaves or styles his facial hair, he doesn’t wear stained clothes, and he takes care of his physique as well.

He has a unique style that sets him apart from the crowd. He’s more likely to pass on trends in favor of classic styles. His Throwback Thursday photos look just as stylish as the picture you took of him yesterday.

 He knows himself.

A true gentleman is opinionated but not forceful. He just knows what he likes and doesn’t like. He’s decisive and will always stand up for his core values when someone challenges them.

He has conviction in his beliefs and his moral character is unquestionable. According to The Gentleman’s Journal, a true gentleman says what he means and means what he says. He’s confident without being arrogant.

 He makes you a priority.

You’ve never felt like he just doesn’t have time for you. Your true gentleman makes eye contact when you speak and he stops what he’s doing to listen. He makes you feel fascinating by the level of interest that he shows.

 He likes to learn.

A gentleman never acts like a know-it-all. He gets excited about learning a new skill because he’s happy when his brain is active. He likes to engage with people from other cultures. Thus, he enjoys traveling to new places, discussing politics, or debating. He is open to differing opinions.

He might have a formal education. But it’s just as likely that your true gentleman learned from the School of Hard Knocks. He has a wonderful imagination and can be creative too. He’s likely to be an expert at something.

He is honest.

You’ve found a true gentleman if he is true to himself, you, and anyone that he’s just met. He has nothing to hide because he’s authentic and real. Lying just isn’t in his character. The only thing a true gentleman would conceal is a surprise for you.

He is always in control.

A true gentleman isn’t controlling of others, he maintains control of himself,  displaying emotional intelligence. He knows that emotions can run high at times. But he never lets others see him sweat. He could be stressed, but he looks cool under pressure.

He rarely raises his voice or gets physical when he’s angry, and you may  never heard him curse. He’s in control of his temper, in fact, you wonder if he even has one.

Final thought

If your gentleman has these traits, as his calling card, consider yourself lucky to have found him. He’s a rare one indeed, and all of these signs point to a happier you, well you should be happy if you value these traits.

I'm OK so just Leave me alone

What should I fix for dinner for one tonight?

 Do you ever wonder why some people crave solitude while others feel lonely by themselves? Usually, introverts can’t get enough alone time, while extroverts thrive in social situations.

It comes down to how people’s brains are wired. Introverts derive energy from being alone, and extroverts feel energized around others.

Personality types don’t always determine if someone feels lonely in their own company. Some introverts may still feel isolated by themselves, even though they don’t enjoy often socializing, either. Anyone can learn to enjoy alone time by cultivating a healthy, positive relationship with themselves.

Whether you identify as an introvert or extrovert, everyone still needs time to recharge one's batteries. Some people need more time alone than others, however. Below, I’ll discuss the science behind why loneliness affects some people while others thrive independently.

Why Some People Feel Lonely Being Alone

Another night when nobody stops by.

Being alone doesn’t mean feeling lonely if you enjoy your own company. Some people feel bored or unstimulated when they don’t have someone to converse with. Others may not want to be alone with their thoughts and prefer a distraction.

Usually, it’s extroverts who need more social engagement and can’t stand the thought of being alone too long. Scientists have found that extroverts lose energy when they don’t socialize enough. This happens because they require more stimulation and low dopamine sensitivity.

So, that explains why extroverts feel lonelier by themselves because it depletes their feel-good hormones. According to studies, they’re more energized and excited by external rewards than introverts.

And, personality types don’t always determine if someone feels lonely in their own company. Some introverts may still feel isolated by themselves, even though they don’t enjoy often socializing, either. Anyone can learn to enjoy alone time by cultivating a healthy, positive relationship with themselves.

Whether you identify as an introvert or extrovert, everyone still needs time to recharge their batteries. Some people need more time alone than others, however. Below, we’ll discuss the science behind why loneliness affects some people while others thrive independently.

Why Some People Feel Lonely Being Alone

Being alone doesn’t mean feeling lonely if you enjoy your own company. Some people feel bored or unstimulated when they don’t have someone to converse with. Others may not want to be alone with their thoughts and prefer a distraction.

On the other hand, introverts feel drained and irritated by too many stimuli. When they feel overwhelmed, they retreat into their shell and prefer being alone for a while. It doesn’t mean they dislike people; they just have differently wired brains that require more rest.

To an introvert, paradise looks like a quiet evening with the house to itself. A homecooked meal, Netflix marathon, warm bath, and cozy pajamas sound like heaven to them. An extrovert might find staying in quite boring, whereas introverts look forward to a rare evening alone.

Extroverts require much more activity and excitement to restore their dopamine levels. Introverts have a high sensitivity to dopamine and external stimulation, meaning they don’t need as much to feel satisfied. They feel more pleasure from a particular chemical in the brain called acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter associated with calmness and internal reflection.

Studies Show Differences in Brain Chemistry 

Between Introverts and Extroverts

According to a 2002 study published in The Introvert Advantage cerebral blood flow (CBF) increases this neural pathway in introverts’ brains. Interestingly, this pathway is longer and more intricate than the dopamine pathway, which is more active in the extrovert brain.

Acetylcholine aids in long-term memory, perceptual learning, slowing heart rate, and inducing feelings of tranquility. So, introverts may enjoy their quiet time without feeling lonely more than extroverts because of this neurotransmitter.

Being introspective or concentrating intently on something can trigger the release of this chemical. And, because it takes longer to travel through the brain, introverts feel subtle, slow-burning happiness. On the other hand, dopamine travels a shorter pathway, so extroverts use it up faster and need frequent resupply.

Acetylcholine aids in long-term memory, perceptual learning, slowing heart rate, and inducing feelings of tranquility. So, introverts may enjoy their quiet time without feeling lonely more than extroverts because of this neurotransmitter.

Being introspective or concentrating intently on something can trigger the release of this chemical. And, because it takes longer to travel through the brain, introverts feel subtle, slow-burning happiness. On the other hand, dopamine travels a shorter pathway, so extroverts use it up faster and need frequent resupply. Also, studies show that extroverts may find humans more captivating than introverts. This doesn’t mean that introverts hate people; it simply means extroverts prioritize social rewards more. Because of this, they place more emphasis on regularly socializing with others, both for enjoyment and status.

Researchers analyzed participants’ brains using an electroencephalogram (EEG) to record electrical activity for the study. The scientists showed participants various pictures of both objects and people. Then, researchers measured the P300 levels in their brains – a spike in activity that occurs due to a sudden external stimulus. It happens almost immediately after the brain reacts to a stimulus, within three hundred milliseconds or less.

After analyzing the brain scans, researchers found that extroverts had a more robust P300 response after looking at faces. However, introverts showed a more pronounced reaction to viewing objects. Essentially, this means that extroverts place more value on social stimuli and external rewards than introverts. Because introverts place more significance on internal stimuli, they don’t feel as lonely during moments of solitude.

Other Reasons Some People Feel Lonely Being Alone

Feeling lonely doesn’t just stem from one’s personality type. Other factors come into play when someone dislikes being alone, such as the following:

• Not wanting to sit with their thoughts. Many people feel restless and anxious when they have no outside stimulus. If they can only listen to their thoughts, it tends to drive them crazy after a while. Of course, it isn’t normal or healthy to spend all your time by yourself, anyway. We all need some socialization as social creatures, even the most introverted!
• They could have abandonment issues. Some people fear being alone or abandoned because of abuse or neglect in childhood. For them, feeling lonely is a byproduct of trauma or unhealthy attachments to family members.
• They feel vulnerable. We still have the same survival instincts that helped us navigate life in the wilderness. In that period, being alone made us vulnerable to predators, accidents or natural disasters. We stuck together to survive, and even though we live in modern society, our biology hasn’t changed. So, being alone may trigger that ancient fight-or-flight response in some people.

  

  Alone again, naturally

Final Thoughts 

Not everyone looks forward to canceled plans or a quiet night at home like introverts. It’s paradise to them, but extroverts feel trapped or restless when they spend too much time alone. They need time to recharge, just like introverts, but their batteries don’t deplete as quickly. Since they’re not as sensitive to dopamine, they require more socialization and stimulation to feel satisfied.