Are you guilty of "Dumb-mazing"

 I create this new word (dumb-<A>mazing) for those who insist that they can keep doing the same things and get different results. Example while sitting at the edge of the bed after sex, a young woman says to her lover "but you said, you were getting a divorce from your wife, each time we slept together. Why can't you spend the night with me this time?"

Let just face really here this is a new year many folks start the new year with some New Years resolutions,  but why are some females settling for being someones freaky side-show. Instead of  looking for a good man and have a real relationship?
I found this quote someone I respect I thought was  fitting to make my point: 
"Don't ignore your instincts in 2013 and never lower your standards! Your motto should be, Come correct, and stop yapping about what you're going to do....Show Me!" - Michael Baisden

More and more I'm convinced that people in their 30s, 40s and even early 50s have their heads in the sand, when it comes to whether their relationships —are going to survive. Hell I was like that too, and found out that relationships are subject to change just like everything else in life.
 I echo this because my situation, even though I was a mature man when my marriage ended. Everything else was pretty much the same as Micheal Baisden statement below:

Maybe you should test your relationship stability,  while standing up to your neck in a pool of water and see if you are on solid ground as couple.
 
"I was married once, and I would have to say it was successful, fun, and exciting for the first 20 years, until…we tried to be married like everyone else was married. Yes, I was mature back then and still didn’t have the communication skills to have a successful marriage. But the other issue was that my wife and I didn’t know how to customize our marriage to work for us! My advice to those who are serious about committing for the long term is to avoid modeling your relationship and marriage after your parents, friends, or what you see on TV. Take the lessons from their examples but set your own standards and boundaries… and then tell everyone else to mind their own damned business! One of the biggest mistakes couples make is allowing outsiders to influence how they conduct their relationship.Stop trying to have a normal relationship when you are clearly NOT normal! Dare to be different and have a unique relationship that works for you!

So having said all that, ask yourself the following:

 'Do you really know enough about each other to make it last.' 

 

"Without compatibility no amount of love can make you sexually or intellectually compatible. Nor will love magically alter who you really are. Love yourself and your partner enough to ask important questions before you get married or create a life together, "Do we want the same things? Do we have the same values? Do we have compatible temperaments? And is this person someone I can grow with and be myself?"
~ Michael Baisden

 Allow me to end this post with a little joke: pool boy math!

‎

A professor of mathematics sent a text msg to his wife. It read:
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54
years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband" When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up. two can play the same game"

"Whereof one should not speak, thereon one must remain silent." I thought that quote was the rule I should follow. When I Speak my mind it's because I believe I have something worth saying. "Speech is civilization itself. The word, even the most contradictory word, preserves contact—it is silence which isolates." I will let this blog  do the talking on subjects I have some passion for!  
 

Dealing with most awkward between-the-sheets-moments.

Here is the problem. movies always make it look so easy and so natural. Everything matches, your moves and her desires connect at the right time. BUT real life is always very different.

Sometimes, sex can be anything but sexy—the awkward, often graceless maneuvering, the unexpected interruptions, the inevitable noises. But before you let another minor glitch ruin the mood—and your mojo, take a tip from some a seasoned "BAD sexpert" on how to bounce back from even the most embarrassing moments.

Did You Hear That? Are the kids still awake, or was that you?

The situation: One of you makes an embarrassing noise.

How to recover: Your first line of defense should be to ignore it. If that's impossible, just smile and laugh, You're being intimate with your partner; bodily sounds come with the territory.

Hot Topic: how does she react to you when you talk dirty, you may think it's sexy, but does she agree?
The situation: dirty talk goes from rated-R to triple-X to the tenth power.

How to recover:  it's important to understand that, as a guy gets increasingly aroused, our inhibitions will lower and we may say some surprising things in the heat of the moment. If something you say really bothers your lady, address it with your partner—post-intimacy.

I Tumble for You

The situation: You fall off the bed mid-romp.Those pushup, you work on every morning, don't include having a body under you.

How to recover: Provided you're not injured, lighten the moment with a quick joke like, Wow, you're really rocking my world! and then getting back into the action.ASAP.

Burn, Baby, Burn... Nooo, not disco inferno!

    The situation: Your attempt to "spice things up" backfires when your new lube makes things way too hot down below.

    How to recover: couples should be rewarded for trying something new in the bedroom, no matter how these forays into uncharted territory play it out. And now you have the perfect excuse to hop into the shower together.How is the water? I hope it's not too hot, on your side. I'm trying to cool off.

The Name Game

The situation: In the heat of the moment, one of you calls out the wrong name. I remember when Mohammed Ali beat Erny Terrel to a pulp because he kept calling him Clay. So this might be one of those things you want avoid at all cost.

How to recover:  this can happen to anybody, especially if you're in a new relationship—it's simply a function of habit. However, if we guys call out a name that's just totally stunning, like your sister or best friend—neither of whom are your ex—then it's worth a conversation.  Do you really  have sick thoughts about your sister, or your best friend? Is there something you want to tell me here?

Hair-um Scarum

The situation: You're about to get busy with a new partner and suddenly realize you haven't lady-scaped in months.

How to recover: The truth is that in the heat of the moment, most guys won't even notice, if the lights are off. "However, it's understandable to feel the need to defend the state of your 'territory,' so you can say something to the effect of, Hope you can appreciate a natural woman!"

Minute Man

The situation: He climaxes right away. She is just so hot!

How to recover: , since this scenario is all so common, it's best to just let it go—especially if it's just a one-off situation. If a man a good partner, he won't let his premature pleasure get in the way of still satisfying you. So don't sweat the small stuff, if he  promise that it will not happen again.


Sleep On It

The situation: One of you dozes off mid-act.

How to recover: Don't read too much into this. It's usually not an indication of boredom. Sex can be very relaxing, particularly for women, because it activates certain hormones that can induce sleep. Have a sense of humor about it and realize that if you're a new parent or working long hours, exhaustion can simply take over. 

Perfect is only in the written script. So write your own script and allows for.... Ooops, I didn't plan for that!

Dial back on Social Networking a little!

I saw my youngest son try to do this, as an experiment,he started with Facebook and ended by shuttering my blog. I really don't think that he ever read my blog anyway. really? LOL.I however was sending him emails, but I dropped the social media components to him and limited  participation because he didn't have an active account, for a brief period.. If I wanted to see adorable pictures of my cousins kids, I had to email my cousin to request them. I had more room in my schedule for the gym. The less time I’ve spent working on my online brand, the more offline opportunities came my way.
 Here are three reasons you too should disentangle yourself from the social web in 2013:

It harms your self-esteem

While evidence for Social Media Anxiety Disorder is largely anecdotal at present, a  study from the fall found that over 50% of social media users evaluated their participation in social networking as having an overall negative effect on their lives. Specifically, they singled out the blow to their self-esteem that comes from comparing themselves to peers on Facebook and Twitter as the biggest downfall. It seems trite, but you can’t feel anxious about the achievements of your old college roommate at  NYIT (the NY version of MIT) or my more successful  cousin  who works on
Wall street if you don’t know about them in the first place. And forget about social media stalking your ex-girl ; it’s as unhealthy as you’d guess.

Your blood pressure will thank you

Social media a hotbed of bad behavior – flame wars, bragging, bashing and crimes against grammar, among other misdeeds. If you find yourself getting unduly irritated by, say, entitled Millennials tweeting their displeasure at being denied iPhones by Santa, or falling victim to Godwin’s Law while arguing with cyber strangers, it might be time to take a timeout. And make sure that break is a legitimate one – none of this downloading an app to manage your social media obligations for you. BTW these darker red states really have serious health issues.

Online is no substitute for offline

Almost a quarter of Americans say that they’ve missed out on important life moments in their quest to capture and memorialize them for social media. Think about that the next time you’re Instagraming your anniversary dinner at P.F. Chang’s. With the ubiquity of communications technology in our daily lives, it’s easy to convince ourselves that the digital world is where all the action is and that the effort we put into building our online empire directly correlates to IRL benefits such as scoring a new job or landing a new mate. In fact, over 90% of job hunters of all ages look for work online, but less than 5% are conducting offline job hunting activities such as attending networking events or setting up information interviews. And guess what? A full 70 – 80% of job vacancies are never posted, so all that job board scouring is likely for naught. If the only benefit you’ve derived from flexing your social media muscle was free anti-antiperspirant samples from the folks at Klout, it might be time to direct your energy elsewhere. Try collecting pictures you can look at offline in an instant electronic picture box same as online in a way without the sick remarks from your so called FB friend make.

Tell your friends to meet you for a brew and talk for a few minutes instead texting and enjoy a solcial event outdoors, that is socializing.
 I would hate to think that Albert Einstein was completely right of the next Generation being idiots.

Sex with a mistory Woman.

Sometimes I'm like a doberman, other times I'm like a German Shepard (good guard dogs). Most of the time I'm like a  mutt that just got loose from being on a chain for a long time. So I'm starting this New Year with a topic that many might be interested in, Why is she such a mis-story?

I knew I was becoming confused about women and lust the night a clitoris appeared to me in a dream...in the shape of the Star-ship Enterprise, with all kinds of trailing pods, bulbs, and possibly thrust reverser (but no warp speed). Up until then, I'd always thought of it as my Little Friend, the nubby pencil-eraser thing, varying in size from completely hidden to sticking out and visible even under  clothing.

My problem: I'd been reading  a lot of scientists reports who had been upgrading their formerly simple definition of the love button to "clitoral complex," with V-shaped internal components almost equal in size to the penis. It made me want to look at blueprints, or a treasure map.

That wasn't the really confusing thing, though. For men to be clueless about women is, of course, routine. But what the scientists and sex therapists seemed to be suggesting is that a lot of women are also confused. It's possible that there are about as many nerve endings in the tip of a woman's clitoris as there are in the tip of a man's penis, but the nerves of the clitoris are in a more concentrated area. Women also take a bit longer than men to produce a genital response, and they do so in a pan-sexual wonderland of situations. But at the same time, they often seem to be just as oblivious as men are to what's going on down there. Where lust is a constant driver for men, many women may be deep into foreplay before it kicks in, like an old memory: Oh. This is sex. It feels good. Why don't we do this more often?

This developing picture of female sexuality--physically ready below, but holding back up in mission control--may not sound like good news at first. But if there's static on the communication lines--between a man and a woman of a woman and her own sex organs--recognizing it is often a first step toward a remedy. And gaining new insights into sex as women perceive it, not as a mirror image of the male experience, is the best way to reach the promised land of better sex (and more of it) for both sides. yippee!

But brace yourself. The road to bountiful sex may be a little curvy, with plenty of missed turns en route. It's not an easy trip for a caveman,sorry construction dudes you really do need to engage her mind,so brush up on your approach, of being smooth talker. And it's also a challenge for the politically correct; feminists now frequently espouse something called "responsive desire," which sounds, to male ears, surprisingly passive. Also be aware that there is no simple formula. Women seem to vary far more than men in their approaches to sex, and they confound easy theories. Wearing extreme tight clothing, can do wonders to start the fire burning.

Among the many other interesting variations I heard about were women capable of extra-genital orgasms, including a  woman who could have one by applying a vibrator to the point where her neck and shoulder meet. (It may sound weird until you recollect high-school hickies.) And I met a grand-motherly sex-shop owner who offered old-fashioned courtship advice like hand-holding, candles, sweet nothings--while selling strap-ons to women who wanted to perform anal sex on their (surprisingly passive) boyfriends. 'Uummm, think again' this dude will be running out of the room just at the sight of  a strap-on  at the thought that she will be using it on me..

But mostly I met women in long-term relationships who dreamed that their boyfriends or husbands would wash the dishes, show affection without expectations--and also now and then throw them (the women, not the dishes) down on a bed, or push them up against a wall for a good, hard...philosophical discussion.

The statement "I want men to be men" came up a lot. But so did the rueful statement, "Not tonight, dear. I'm too tired." Women reminded me that actually arriving at your destination (bountiful sex, or did you forget?) is never guaranteed. But they also gave me lots of good directions from here to there. Some of them were psychological--for instance, about the value of saying the simple things men start to forget to say roughly 6 weeks into a relationship, like "Wow, that was great," or even just "you are simply amazing." (but never leave a tip on the nightstand.) And some of it was largely mechanical--for instance, if sex hurts, desire gives way to dread. (There are lubricants  in aisle seven, next to the condoms, they have them for men and women when they come together and heat up, you will come together, screaming each others names.)

Almost everyone reminded me that the challenge for any man, especially as a relationship becomes established, is to cultivate the female's desire. You can't just expect it to happen automatically. And honestly, you're kidding yourself if you think it's her responsibility as much as yours. In one study of folks in long-term relationships, half the women admitted to having had sex without desire in just the previous 2 weeks. If you want her to keep wanting it--wanting you--even at work,or  the children running ROUND, and the house expenses nibbling away at your life together, you have to keep wooing her. try a simple kiss of the hand, which can be very suggestive during a private dinner for two.

According to the Durex Sexual Well being Global Survey, many modern societies suck at sex. There's really no other way to say it -- we just don't do it enough and, when we do, we don't enjoy it. The results found that, on average, People have sex (including foreplay) for 35 minutes once every 4.3 days. That averages out to only 57 minutes a week. Have our lives really become so busy that we can't even schedule in quality time for a little horizontal tango?

We already know that many  suffer from sexless marriages, but why are we so adverse to an activity that clearly brings us joy and pleasure? This survey tells us that if we are married that we rank as one of the bottom-feeders in the realm of sexual activity, as modern couples only indulge in sexual intercourse, on average, 85 times a year, way below the global average, which is 103 times.  

So, where are we going wrong?

 

15 relationship enhancers, try them if you dare.

I want to kickoff the New Year with this one because I believe that these 15 phrases can make a huge difference in how the rest of the year works for you in establishing better relationships. I hope you appreciate the hard work I put into this blog-post because it took me  5 days to come up with  these 15, three a day. here goes: 

1) Thank You: Common courtesy? Sure. But tell me this: When was the last time you forgot (or rejected) gratitude? Whether given in private or public, a sincere ‘thanks’ creates goodwill. Don’t forget your mother’s advice: “Say please.” People are always happier doing a favor than taking an order.

2) I Trust Your Judgment: Translation: “You have my permission. I believe in you. Now, go make it happen.” Feels pretty uplifting to hear that, doesn’t it? And I’ll bet you’d do almost anything to please someone who makes you feel that way.

3) I Don’t Know: I don’t have all the answers. And it scares me to death. That’s a perfect point to start a dialogue…over facts and fears. Facing the unknown – and seeking assurances and answers – bonds people like nothing else. All you have to do is first admit what you don’t know everything.

4) Tell Me More: “I’m all ears.” It’s the ultimate conversation starter!  When you signal that you’re open and intrigued, the other party will respond in kind. And who can resist flattery? Use phrases like “What do you think” or “What would you do” to acknowledge someone’s expertise. In doing so, you’re courting authentic suggestions, even if they challenge convention or skewer a sacred cow. If your interest is genuine, you may just fuel a productive exchange.

5) What I Hear You Saying Is: Ever wonder if someone has been listening to you? Be assured the person speaking to you is. So here’s a way to keep the ideas flowing. Step back and rephrase what someone says. In fact, vaguely distort or stray from it. This offers two benefits. It implies that you’re engaged, increasing the likelihood you’ll get more detail. It also helps you gauge the other person’s preparation, reasoning, and seriousness. It’s a win-win for everyone.

6) I’m On It: You’re giving your full attention. You’re saying, “Relax. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll see to it personally.” That response can disarm just about anyone. To express a deeper commitment, use “You have my word.” This makes you more accountable to someone, conveying that you’re on board and will make it happen…whatever it takes.

7) How Else Can I Help You: It takes guts to speak up. People risk rejection, ridicule, or retaliation. Sure, you’ve discussed one issue. Chances are, this was just a test balloon to see how you’d react. This person probably wants to cover more; she’s just hesitant to ask. Make it easy on her. Extend the proverbial “what can I do” invitation to widen the conversation. And don’t be afraid to ask for help occasionally, either. People love to lend a hand. It provides purpose. When you’re humble and vulnerable, it humanizes you. It makes you one with her. And people trust those with whom they  identify with.

8) I’ve Got Your Back: We’ve all made big mistakes. When we’ve recognized the gravity, the same question automatically pops up: “Am I losing your trust for this?” It’s natural for someone you are involved with  to imagine worst case scenarios. In those times, step in with  reassurance: “I’m not judging you. We’re going to get through this togeter. You’re not alone. We’ll figure this out together. It’s going to be OK.”

9) My Pleasure: This subtle reminder reinforces a key point. We’re here to help each others. You have all the time you need. And I'm happy to do it.

10) What If: Call it whatever you want: Imagination, wonder, inspiration, or vision. It’s that “why not” spirit that drives men and women to dream, create, and push limits. How often do you channel this force to hit it off with others? When was the last time you used a phrase like “How can we make this happen” or “Let’s try this out?” Go ahead. Open the conversation to everyone. Put every option on the table. Don’t judge them based on budgetary, time,efforts, or cultural considerations.  Sure, most ideas won’t be feasible or relevant. But you’re seeking that nugget that makes your relationship just a little more competitive and enjoyable. You can find the means another time.

11) Let Me Play Devil’s Advocate: Looking for a subtle way to critique? Turn the conversation into an exercise where you’re a detached party performing a function: Poking holes in the logic and plan of attack. Maybe you need to reel the other person back to the big picture. Maybe you want to direct him/her towards missing pieces, pros and cons, or alternatives. Either way, you use this strategy to stress test ideas without making the process overly personal.

12) Let Me Think About That: Yeah, it sounds like a cop out. And it is…sometimes. Fact is, we don’t always have the authority or expertise to make final decisions. This phrase buys you time and breathing space. It intimates that you’re open-minded and the request merits consideration. Then, set a date and time for follow up so the other person knows you’re taking him/her serious.

13) Well Done: It’s a cliché, no doubt. Sometimes, it isn’t enough just to say thanks. People want to know what they did was great and why. They pour so much sweat and soul into their projects. They need more than recognition that a task or goal was completed. They need to know their work was special and had meaning to someone.

14) You’re Right: Want to get someone’s attention? Tell him/her that they’re right. Once you yield the high ground, it’s much easier for the other party to swallow that the right plan and sentiment can’t always overcome the absurdities and restraints we face every day.

15) I Understand: People have such an innate desire to connect. They long to know they’re not alone, seeking others who’ve been where they are – and have successfully made it through. Helping someone doesn’t always involve making suggestions or calls. It may just involve being there, paying attention to what a person has to say. Most times, that’s enough to show you understand.

My last words on enhancing  your relationship in this  New Year. 
a) What we men need to understand about women is that consistency equals emotional security. Men should not start something we  can't or have no intention to finishing when it comes to spending money, spending time, sexual performances, etc... If you want a stable relationship, stop frustrating your woman with your inconsistency! 

b) What women need to understand about men is that we don't want to be changed. Yes, men want to be inspired to be better... not to be transformed into someone else. And most important of all, stop projecting your fantasies from television, movies...and your friends expectations onto us. When a man is ready to share his life with you and be committed, you will know it! You won't have to constantly ask, "Where is this relationship going?"

a few reasons your most talented partners will leave you

Some of the biggest challenges people face these days is making concessions and appreciating each others differences. It happens in business or governments and in personal relations all of the time,  because no ONE  is willing to give a little and therefore walk away from the table instead of sitting down and finding ways to work together.

Have you ever noticed leaders spend a lot of time talking about talent, only to make the same mistakes over and over again? Few things in business are as costly and disruptive as unexpected talent departures. With all the emphasis on leadership development, I always find it interesting so many companies seem to struggle with being able to retain their top talent.  The same applies to personal partnerships more and more people are jumping the gun and walking away instead of giving the relationship their best efforts, if you don't believe me just look at the divorce rate.... 50- 60 % are ending because giving a little is too much to ask. "It's my way or the high way. So hit the road Jack/Jill." 
In this blog, I’ll share some research, observations, and insights on how to stop the talent door from revolving.

Ask any CEO if they have a process for retaining and developing talent and they’ll quickly answer in the affirmative. They immediately launch into a series of soundbites about the quality of their talent initiatives, the number of high-potentials in the nine box, blah, blah, blah. As with most things in the corporate world, there is too much process built upon theory and not nearly enough practice built on experience.

I see the same problems with today's couples. The Alpha male she wants is too bossy, the Alpha female, he wants, is too independent and  neither of the two will see that as a couple that they are the dynamic duo power couple.

When examining the talent at any organization look at the culture, not the rhetoric – look at the results, not the commentary about potential. Despite some of the delusional perspective in the corner office, when researchers interview their employees, here’s what they tell them: my comments in Italic Bold on the personal relationships.
    More than 30% believe they’ll be working someplace else inside of 12 months.
More and more people believe they will meet  someone else to start over with inside of 12 months.
    More than 40% don’t respect the person they report to.
More and more don't respect the person they are sleeping with as an equal or even a head of house-hold or home-maker
    More than 50% say they have different values than their employer.
More and more couples believe that what initially brought them together was cosmetic not values.
    More than 60% don’t feel their career goals are aligned with the plans their employers have for them.
More and More couples don't feel that their personal goals are aligned with their partners plans for them.
    More than 70% don’t feel appreciated or valued by their employer.
More and More people feel under-appreciated and under-valued by their partners.

So, for all those employers who have everything under control, you better start re-evaluating. There is an old saying that goes; “Employees don’t quit working for companies, they quit working for their bosses.” Regardless of tenure, position, title, etc., employees who voluntarily leave, generally do so out of some type of perceived disconnect with leadership.
Lets face the naked truth on relationships, woman don't leave their homes, and men don't want to leave their homes but do it because they can not see continuing to live with the person they chose to be with no  longer are meeting their needs and are NOT THE  SAME PERSON  they fell in Love with. 
Here’s the thing – employees who are challenged, engaged, valued, and rewarded (emotionally, intellectually & financially) rarely leave, and more importantly, they perform at very high levels. However if you miss any of these critical areas, it’s only a matter of time until they head for the elevator.
If you don't  challenge your Alpha partner, and engage them, make them feel like they are valuable, and reward them (emotionally and in other ways) they will quite on you.  
Following are 10 reasons your talent will leave you – smart leaders don’t make these mistakes:
Top Ten Reasons Why Large Companies Fail To Keep Their Best Talent ~Eric Jackson Eric Jackson Contributor
The Case for Hiring 'Under-Qualified' Employees ~David K. Williams David K. Williams Contributor
The 10 Reasons Why We Fail ~David DiSalvo David DiSalvo Contributor
This One Leadership Quality Will Make or Break You Mike Myatt Mike Myatt Contributor

1. You Failed To Unleash Their Passions: Smart companies align employee passions with corporate pursuits. Human nature makes it very difficult to walk away from areas of passion. Fail to understand this and you’ll unknowingly be encouraging employees to seek their passions elsewhere.
Do you Fail to unleash their sexual passions? If yes them what is said above is very similar in your personal life.

2. You Failed To Challenge Their Intellect: Smart people don’t like to live in a dimly lit world of boredom. If you don’t challenge people’s minds, they’ll leave you for someone/someplace that will.
Do you Fail to challenge them in all areas you need to? If " yes" them what is said above is very similar in your personal life.
3. You Failed To Engage Their Creativity: Great talent is wired to improve, enhance, and add value. They are built to change and innovate. They NEED to contribute by putting their fingerprints on design. Smart leaders don’t place people in boxes – they free them from boxes. What’s the use in having a racehorse if you don’t let them run?

Do you Fail to give your partner  credit for what they bring to the table, bedroom and all other areas you are not capable of handling by yourself ? If "yes" them what is said above is very similar in your personal life.

4. You Failed To Develop Their Skills: Leadership isn’t a destination – it’s a continuum. No matter how smart or talented a person is, there’s always room for growth, development, and continued maturation. If you place restrictions on a person’s ability to grow, they’ll leave you for.
Do you Fail to see that your partner needs to grow and develop in their own way and at their pace? If "yes" them what is said above is very similar in your personal life. 

I think if you see what I'm seeing. Which is that the World we live in business, Politics, Marriages, Same Sex Partnerships, raising kids as single parent, should be about taking the time to engage others and respecting that we are all made equal but yet different. It can't work if you are unwilling yield from your positions.   
Have Happy New Year All.  Start by  finding ways to start a new Year with fresh new ways of compromise by  making concessions and appreciating each other.

In the Words of Miss Universe: "Celebrate your differences" 

Here a few other quotes:

BE YOURSELF
"Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself."
Oprah Winfrey

---

A BRICK
"Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body."
Lady Gaga

---

YOU'RE WORTHY
"We accept the love we think we deserve."
Stephen Chbosk

Have some people lost their minds, because they are scared?

Prior to becoming a parent I was a gun owner (for self protection, because I lived in dangerous cities, and I was scared of become a victim.) That changed immediately when I held my first born in my arms. The idea that a gun could take his life was just not something I wanted to be possible in my home, by accident or by intent. Life is precious. What the citizens of any country should ask themselves. Is having a gun in the house the answer to keeping you Safe? The intent of having a gun is to do harm..... You can call it self-defense, self-preservation whatever terms you want to use. But in the final Analysis it is to do harm. You will willingly shoot someone, who is trying to harm you and call it self-defense. Or you will shoot someone in anger. the end result is the same, you are willing to taking a life. Hunting is an excuse for have a fire arm. Self-defense is an excuse to owning a fire-arm in your home. Living in peace is not having a weapon that can do harm. I can't accidentally shoot someone, I love, if I don't have a gun. They can't shoot me in my home with my own gun, if I don't have one. Those who say "guns don't kill, people kill" are dead wrong. Guns allow people to kill easier than those who don't have one. Call yourself a person who believe that a fetus has a right to life and in the same sentence want to own a gun that can kill your child is someone who does not understand that they are contradicting themselves. May you live long enough to see what is wrong with society  Wrong can't ever be right, no matter how you spin it.

The craziest people are now saying let us arm school teachers...... They call themselves responsible people, the Governor of Texas one the largest states, who ran in the Republican primary. Makes a statement like this with a straight face and the IDIOTS in the room applaud. OMG, this is why I know that living in some of thees Southern  United of  states America requires you to loose  your sense of good judgement. To think that this guy could have been the president of the USA.
As parents grieve and wonder what clothing to bury their bullet riddled kids bodies in,And these  Fools are talking about starting a fire fight in the school where you have kids of all ages. Teachers need to act like law enforcement agents, Military trained teachers, now? I can see a teacher graduating from a University now and don't qualify to teach children unless the know how to shoot a hand gun or a Bushmaster, why not have them learn how to blowup buildings too. Have we lost our minds. Now I know that emotions these days are about Revenge and the only way to have Revenge is to shoot somebody and watch them bleed out (life is not a video game.) Gunman shoot back or shoot first. Just ask yourselves is this normal. Mental health issues is grater than we realize.
 Owning gun empowers these crazy people. As more and more people arm themselves because they scared, we run the risk of having fire fights in Churches, Schools, Hospitals.

 For a mother to have 3-6 guns or more in her home with a son who has mental issues, is amazing to me, What happened to this woman after her husband and  her got divorced. If he wasn't a gun lover then I can understand leaving her, because she was crazy. 

Personally the problems has an easy fix in my simple mind: "stop being cowards," you  are scared of your own shadows. A gun can not make you safer it can turn you into a killer. Can you live with taking a life. 

Most normal people will have a hard time dealing with the fact  after they shoot  someone.

For 26 people (20 kids and 6 educators) their World ended in 2012. 

Maybe this is what the Mayan calendar was talking about. The year when the USA had more guns in the homes than people. Ready to shoot every child, woman and man, maybe their dog will survive.

Guns in America