Holiday Lonely

Penny for your thoughts!

There are times when games are played by those who seem to have the advantages of being in multiple relationships at the same time during the Holidays. The MSG. is always crystal clear to the persons who are #2 or other in the Que.... #1 has the upper hand... unless that person mess up  during the holiday they will have most of the benefits during the Christmas and New Years Eve.
 #2 and others can look forward to the New year but will have to sacrifice all the main holidays from Thanksgiving through New Years day. So how does #2 and.....others  feel, knowing that the cheers and toast are never directed towards them for the holidays.On the stroke of midnight  the fireworks will let them know that they are still lower in the Que than the #1. But all is not lost you might get a notice on "J" One..a quick text or mini voice MSG. flow though unto your phone.... the sound of your boo's voice might make you feel excited again until the next major holiday rolls around... like valentine day and Easter.
Some may even start singing the old school song " You are going to make me Love somebody else if you don't stop treating me the way you do!"

Thinking of you, is all she seems to do..this time of year.

It's coming up on the holidays, and you can't stop thinking about last year and the good feelings during the holidays ... when you were in a relationship and things seemed  to be going well. Then something went wrong and the two of  you split. Now he has moved on and you are left alone  dealing with the statistics  of  7 to 1 ratios...not the best time to find someone new... to spend the holidays with... .....

The following are some of the stupid reasons you are alone for the Holidays ....It just might be because of  your independence.

In the early stages of the relationship, some women are more reserved about the things that are important to them, but as things move on and a  guy gets to know her better, he's  slowly be let into her inner world. But that might be too late... for some guys.

Women wants to enjoy actual conversations - Yes.....she'll want you to listen, and not just stare and zone out when she's talking. Don't think she'll notice that you're thinking about that video game you need to get back to or how much work you have to do tomorrow.

An independent woman wants to spend time with you, but she won't be needy. An independent woman has no problem being on her own, which means when she wants to be in your company, she's truly looking forward to enjoying it.
An independent woman wants you, but she doesn't necessarily need you....and  this is also a problem for some guys. 

Just because she's decided to be with you, doesn't mean she no longer wants to spend some time alone...Ooops......but that does not mean during the Holidays. She's used to it, and it helps her re-energize so that your time together will be quality time.

You are an independent woman I'm not sure this will work for me!

Who is she that has surfboard and daredevil skills?

She has skills so she might be able to surf right through a players B.S.

 

The truth hurts. But you need to know. Loving someone requires commitment, not just saying the words “I love you” and bandying around the L word each time you have a free moment. You are committing emotionally, physically, and spiritually to another person.

The two people must work towards common interests in the relationship. It might seem like a tit for tat but it is definitely not. It must begin from the brain down to the heart and the actions manifest it all.

You must first love yourself to be able to understand what the other person means when they say they love you. Considerthese relationship truths:

Relationships are not about good or bad people; they’re about people that are right for you: You may go for beauty when searching for a partner, but later, you realise that the character and ways of life do not make the person right for you.

You will find that the other party may not even remain the person they initially were. Individuals change with time.

In relationships, the parties should look for the problem in themselves first: When you feel unhappy with yourself, it’s easy to find where the problem lies. If you blame the other party for what you’re feeling, the solution may lie on them but it’s not logical.

It doesn’t actually solve the problem since you didn’t actually look for the root of the problem. Taking responsibility of the problem gives you the power to create a solution and important step while managing your relationship.

In long, committed relationships, you’ll never really be sure if you are in love with the other person or if you’re just habitual to them: After a long period of time in relationships, you get fond of your partner to the point where they become more like a brother and a friend. This makes it hard to differentiate from the love you had in the beginning.

Trying to be friends with your ex after a breakup never works: A clean breakup is always required. This assures you that most people don’t end up with the person they always thought was the one.

You don’t always agree with your partner’s choices: What matters the most is whether or not you can accept those choices. It’s wise to take some time before making decisions. Instant decision making will certainly give or lead to regrets. Relationships will not always be exciting; there are times of joy and sorrow.

Tomboy woman don fall for the B.S. so come straight or she will be swing right by you!

more on relationships in the next blog post. Hmm this might you thinking about equality in relationships.

Well we can eat any and everything we want while on vacation... But it will be different when we get back home!

Are you really going to eat more than your share?

 

There are no equal relationships: There will always be one partner who loves the other one more, which is so unfortunate since the one less involved gets to always call the shots.(it's eating at a buffet the one who has the greatest appetite is the one who will get carried away.) 

This makes it possible to fall out of love with someone, which leads to a breakup. It may seem like the end of the world but life always moves on.

The perfect relationship doesn’t exist — no matter how hard you try or how many rules you follow: Your relationship will never be perfect because perfect doesn’t exist. So you should lower the high expectations of romantic dinners every night or surprises every morning because this only happens in movies. The key to maintaining your relationship is just lowering your temper and trying very hard to understand your partner.

You will always have something to argue about, healthy arguments and not unnecessarily cribbing are a way of showing that you are working to make your relationship work.

You have to work for happiness, sometimes for a long time: Most people want it to come naturally with a great relationship but happiness is something that you have to work towards.

Fight the monotony that is assured to fight in. Forgive some things and take a stand for others while always working towards happiness.

Trying to make it work doesn’t always work: You may decide to make it work and you’re willing to try your best but unfortunately, it can’t work.

Relationships work simultaneously and both members need to put equal efforts. Your sex life will definitely change as the relationship progresses: The wild passion from before will stop making you go towards a more mature relationship.

You will be unhappy at times and that’s completely OK and normal: Romance is good at times, but sometimes lack of it is even better. At times, just changing into your pajamas and relaxing with you partner can be far best.

The hard times can be a hidden blessing and you notice later that nothing will develop that bond as the hard times.

So in conclusion, in a good relationship, you will need to care and show concern for your partner. You need treat him/her with love, not ambivalence or fickleness.

In a true relationship, love requires actions because at the end of the day talk is very cheap, love is shown and you feel it.

Are You His Best Kept Secret, simple becuase you are costing him too much?

He may not say it but his actions will surely tell his mindset!

Ladies and Guys, we are all creatures of habit. Everything we think, say and do is a result of deep-seated habits etched into our minds through years and years of repetitious behavior. Those very same habits either help to propel us forward or to hinder our progress in life. In fact, the state and quality of our lives right now is a direct reflection of our daily habits. 
Habits are an undeniably powerful part of life. They're an integral part of the underlying behavioral psychology that shapes the direction of our lives. They're so integral that a study determined that approximately 45 percent of everything we do on a daily basis is driven by our habits. 
Parting ways with our bad habits and replacing them with good habits is by no means a simple task. It takes commitment, willpower and an unwavering desire to overcome our seemingly natural tendencies to think, feel, speak and act in a certain way. 

Clearly, for those absolutely committed to things like happiness and success, habits offer the pathway to enrichment in life. They're also the tools we use to help automate our progress towards one end or another, assisting us with the achievement of our goals and the fulfillment of our dreams.
Still, for the most part, we're often left in the dark. We're unsure of ourselves or where to start on the road to developing good habits. What are the best habits to have in your life when you want to succeed or be happy? Are there some that usurp others, providing some secret magical recipe for achieving life's loftiest goals?

What are the best habits to have in life? 

While any list of habits concocted might seem subjective, there are, in fact, particular habits that will not only help you to succeed, financially speaking, but will also keep you healthy, happy and fulfilled in life. Focus on these habits, consistently making efforts to instill them into your daily routine, and in time, your progress and momentum towards your goals will skyrocket.

Gratitude.
We spend a great deal of time immersed in our wants, needs and problems. But problems are also a sign of life. The only time we'll lack problems is when we're six feet under. And if you want to shift your focus away from your problems, you have to be grateful for what you have. Yes, even for your problems. 
Gratitude is the surest pathway to health, happiness and success. It shifts our attention towards what we have rather than what we don't have. It's the natural abundance of simple pleasures and opportunities that we've been afforded with and blessed with that we often take for granted.

Smile.

Studies have shown that people who smile a genuine smile (also referred to as a Duchenne smile) are happier in life(who knows it might just get you what you want). This is one of the best habits for allowing you to find emotional, mental and spiritual peace-of-mind over time -- simply by placing a smile on your face. 
The physiology of our bodies dictates the psychology of our minds. When we frown or slouch or do any number of other things that convey a sense of depression and unhappiness, our mind takes those cues and runs with them. However, once we shift our outward appearance by consciously adjusting ourselves, our inward feelings follow.

 

There will be HELL's fire to contend with....

 Are You His Best Kept Secret?
You shouldn’t be a secret. If you have been dating for a substantial amount of time and he isn’t open to meeting or hanging out with your friends and family and you haven’t met his, then you have a problem. His best friends don’t count. (Sometimes even side-chicks meet them.) After a while, things should be out in the open and people should know that you exist. If not, you might want to find a man who wants to show you off, not hide you!

How Long is His Attention Span?

If you guys aren’t dating exclusively you may not have all of his attention. That’s to be expected. But does he pay attention to you? His sincere interest in you should aid him in noticing the little things. Things like the kind of places you like to eat, the shoes you wore last night or what make you smile. Your interests are only visible to people who are looking beneath the surface. His thoughtfulness will serve as a sign of his sincere interest in you.

Girl traveling in groups..hmmm to foreign countries should we men be worried?

Fellahs.....Are you falling  for or in love  with a woman who is used to being on her own, and enjoys it?
Or, are you  thinking about dating one?
Dating an independent female can bring a few challenges, but the reward makes it more than worth it, there are just a few things you should know.

She's emotionally strong

This woman isn't going to be clinging on to you to fulfill her every need. She's used to relying on herself, making her emotionally strong. She doesn't need you to fight her battles, she can fight them on her own. But that doesn't mean she doesn't need you at all - and, you'll appreciate this strength when you two are going through hard times.

She's not going to be telling you every little thing she does

Don't expect her to call you every time she decides to go out or even on a trip with her friends. She'll probably do her own thing often, without letting you know, at least initially. That's because she's used to doing whatever she wants and when she wants without asking permission. It doesn't mean she doesn't care, and after the relationship develops, she'll start to let you in more often. Remember, it's a good thing to have separate interests - if you want it to work, encourage her to keep pursuing them, don't hold her back.

She may be more reserved initially

In the early stages of the relationship, she'll probably be more reserved about the things that are important to her, but as things move on and you get to know her better, you'll slowly be let into her inner world.

She enjoys good conversation

This girl wants to enjoy actual conversations - she'll want you to listen, and not just stare and zone out when she's talking. Don't think she'll notice that you're thinking about that video game you need to get back to or how much work you have to do tomorrow.

She may want you, but she doesn't necessarily need you

An independent woman wants to spend time with you, but she won't be needy. She has no problem being on her own, which means when she wants to be in your company, she's truly enjoying it.

She still needs time to be alone

Just because she's decided to be with you, doesn't mean she no longer wants to spend some time alone. She's used to it, and it helps her re-energize so that your time together will be quality time.

Take  a chill pill and don't sweat the small stuff!

He will see this of social media and really wonder if I need him....