You will find Mr. Right when you are not looking for your version of Mr. Right!

I will put 10 statement that I'm sure you have heard if you are a single woman. Adding  my BAD  spin on each one.

1)   Mr. Right! is not that allusive character!”

This is typically where someone's good advice starts.  ”It’ll come along when you least expect it,” and also “You’ll find it when you aren't looking“ this is  it, retarded little sister.  You can all just go screw yourself  after you say this to any female  who is single , and want to get married.  These are  ridiculous statements, that  Women are  programmed to look for.  It’s in their genetic makeup and all that scientific B.S.  That’s like saying, “hey, you know that dream career you want?  don't  working at it.  It’ll happen when you least expect it.  One day you’ll be walking down the street and BAM you’ll be a CEO of a fortune 500 company.  And it’ll be success after success for years after that , but don’t work for it or anything like it.  Just  chill out on this couch.  It’ll come to you.”  You need to stop telling folks not to look for it, because let me tell you something, there have been times I have been looking for a pen and instead some serendipitous moron came along and finds it, and there have been days and times and months and years where I wasn't looking for it, and guess what I found it because I was not looking for the pen?

2)    “You will never be happy in a relationship until you are happy with yourself first!"

This is true.  There are those of you who ARE actually happy with who you are. I’m happy with myself.  I’m so Damn  happy with myself I actually wake up every morning and brush my teeth with rainbows toothpaste after I drinking 4 glasses of water and piss excellence and wash my face with glory.  Seriously though, “finding yourself” is a process in life, and I don’t think you’re ever really “done,” finding yourself.  Am I completely different person than I was in college?  Not entirely because I'm single again.  Have I gone through a ton of real World stuff that has changed my outlook and made me stronger, happier, more independent, and a better  catch?  LOL.  Yes.  Am I happy with myself?  Yes.  Will I continue to grow and change and all that  good stuff that humans do until they die?  Yes.  Consider that it’s not that all of us happy single people need someone in our lives to do the things for  us that  make us happier, it’s that we’re finally happy and we want someone to share it with.  Also, a lot of you “happy” fools in relationships seem like you need to have a few weeks on your own to evaluate yourselves.  The incessant need for your boyfriend to text you back within thirty seconds after a text followed by a fit may not be the best proof surrounding your statement.  "Come again. " OK... no one gave me a script for this text response. Is what I'm usually thinking., after a text venting about what someone said to you.

3)    “You have all the time in the world. You are still young”

You’re still damn  annoying, which means you are immature at times.  Women will not give you two pennies how  for guessing right  on how old they are.  Age isn't really what they’re complaining about.  And although many of you  are young, you still have examples of people who are old and alone every day.  And that’s just a terrifying image.  So my logic is just of being  a man.....  Fellahs , don’t call her “kid” at the end of that statement.  If you’re older than her, and you add a “kid” onto the end in a sort of “endearing” way, She  will find a legit  way to light you and your family on fire. in a language you might not know  but you will understand, the hand gestures..

4)   “You deserve the World from someone”

Hey,  she couldn't agree more.  Actually after hearing this a couple dozen times it makes her feel like you’re just saying it to avoid the conversation about how depressing it is that no one has come along yet. You could list off a million reasons why she is  worth all the love and unicorns and mermaids in the world, and she  would be on your page a hundred percent.  As a matter of fact, she would have written more pages after she  was done being on your page, so that she could also be on those pages as well.  So now that you know what she deserves, what clever thing do you have to say that will make her feel better about the fact that the universe has decided to hold out on giving her the things she  deserve?


5)   “You are just looking for love in the wrong places!”

This one’s particularly good.  Because then she get to ask the follow up question of “then please tell me where I should be looking.” Tell her more about this magical land that you found your significant other?  LOL. I paid dearly after 25 years of having a significant other. OH, was it at WORK?  Or was it the GYM?  Or were you SET UP?  Please tell me, because I guarantee, I have had some type of dating experience with someone from each place you say is the “right” place to look.  You fuckheads seem to think all single single people just go out to bars and get trashed and try to marry the first thing that buys women a round of shots.  Just because she goes to bars occasionally does not mean she has a belief she's going to meet the man she's going to marry in a Cabo San Lucas.  Consider that sometimes women just want some vodka and loud music.  You know, to drown out other folks  shitty dating advice.

6)    ”Have you tried online dating?”

And you should try seeing how much of your head you can fit into an oven.  Internet dating is essentially Craigslist missed connections with direct messaging and a few more pictures of Carl’s body after a workout.  OK Cupid, Match.com, Christian mingle (WHY GOD, WHY) all of these sites are probably the WORST place to find real love.  Love isn't something that you should have to read manifestos and “6 things I can’t live without” sections to find.  It’s probably one of the most inorganic ways to find someone, in my opinion, and I’m not knocking it, but there’s no way a woman should be  setting up an online profile for the likes of James, the recently divorced father of three, and Tucker, the obsessive college junior with a wandering eye.  I’ll be at the bar.

7) “Maybe you are being a little too picky!” 

OH, I’M SORRY.  Please, lead me be  your lair of Meatloaf look-a-likes and Frankenstein’s with a kind hearts.  Let’s be clear, Women want to be picked, they still are just trying to make sure they don’t end up with someone half-blind, who is a closet alcoholic, and has enough emotional baggage to figuratively crash a 747 .

8) “But at the same time don’t just settle!”

I don’t even have anything to say for this.  There’s too much rage from number 7 come at me, right about now!

9) “Get out more!”

Unless a woman  needs to be naked on the corner of "anything goes Blvd." cooking brownies, making sandwiches, throwing paychecks in the air and simultaneously holding twins, I think progressive women in the 21st century are  doing a pretty good job.  But hey, if you have any more advice on REALLY putting herself  out there, let me know, and I will pass it on to my readers.  Maybe existing as a human being and going places and meeting people in the world just isn't enough.

10) Be REAL and state your case as to why a man should pick you!

Just cruise on  down the road in your Red Alfa Romeo and chill....  he might be a cop that was  told to stop every Red car  he sees, driving a little over the speed limit. Enough said.
If women are reading this and see what BAD seeds I'm planting  and reading this blog, to find answers. I'm sorry, I have none! 

What does LOVE have to do with it, maybe your Attitude has everything to do with it!

You want LOVE... But You have an attitude problem. The problem is NOT that you have a BAD ATTITUDE, the problem is that you DON'T have an attitude about the RIGHT THING. YOU. Let me  explain it from my  BAD perspective.

As  Women in the 21st Century you are  KNOWN to be strong, bold, sometimes opinionated. Known to STAND up and fight for what you want, what you believe in. Hands on hips, "put a man  in his place,"     "SET IT OFF", sit us men down...Yes attitude. Mess with your children. and you are Tiger moms. Mess with your Money. and you become the IRS. Mess with your family or your friends. Gang war! Attitude with the bank teller, attitude with the chick at the drive through  behind a glass window, take no mess. .... attitude with the day care provider, attitude with the child's teacher.... oh, You CAN put a person in their place with  quickness. Here is my QUESTION, WHERE IS THAT ATTITUDE, WHERE IS YOUR FEISTY WHEN IT COMES TO WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ARE TO BE TREATED PROPERLY?

HMMM? Where is your attitude about "YOU"? I have watched the strongest, most intelligent, most beautiful  women back down, sit down and back up when it comes to dis-respect, mis-treatment, use and abused by  men who are not worthy of THEIR time. Where is your attitude when we stands you up ?( I say we  for maximum effect...I don't really mean me.. because I don't stand women up, cheat, or tell them  fibs )   Where is your attitude when men cheat, lie, consistently ?  You accept bad treatment, and want to have a pity party!

Where is the eyes rolling, hands on hip ATTITUDE when WE dares suggest SEX on the 2nd date, or starts SEXTING you before we even knows your FULL name ? When we ask you to Borrow your car or have you pay a bill for us ? You see ladies YOUR ATTITUDE problem is you NOT having an attitude about WHAT YOU DESERVE in a relationship. Your attitude problem is NOT knowing WHO YOU are and what YOU deserve. Your attitude problem is NOT stomping your FEET and shaking your FIST at the man who REFUSES to court you properly with R-E-S-P-E-C-T, treat you with kindness and make YOU a priority. Your attitude problem is NOT having a problem with the Word "BITCH..." or being with the married man who THINKS you should settle for his sloppy seconds. We men  have ATTITUDES that count. be cause we know we are King!.

When you KNOW who you ARE, you will NOT let anyone treat you like WHO you are NOT !! Get an attitude about YOUR WORTH. Get an attitude about what you DESERVE. Don't back DOWN, shake your finger, roll your NECK, stomp your FEET and get an ATTITUDE PROBLEM about "YOU" !
Foot note: I   tell women to "think like a lady and don't  act like a Man." do it better because you have the majority in very community, You can't compete with every the Chicas, who is showing the wrong Attitude, by doing the same things they are doing! .

Get it Right!

What's Love got to do with it...get the right Attitude! You can't find  Love if your Attitude is all Wrong!.

The Cons for women dating younger men,Or waiting in vain!

So you decide to see what else I will be expressing in my BAD way  of thinking
. when stars look so good... other women want to copy what is working for her..i.e  she does not want to waste this fine frame on the older, or same even  age dud... note  I did not say dude, or stud... DUD will not do. 

 the  Cons for women dating younger men:
- Generation Gap. If you are dating a man who is five years younger, that's not such a big deal. But when the age span stretches to 10, 15 or 20 years, there can be significant differences that emerge. Just think about how he won't know the music, TV or movies you grew up with. He won't have the first-hand experience of the times and history you lived through. I'm talking about when President Clinton  was dealing with Monica in the oval office, the movie "coming to America" premiered, the TV show the Cosby show aired on Friday nights and the first time Boyz to men  were on BET. Hell why would you want to talk about that stuff anyway.  These iconic moments in history and entertainment have great meaning for some. Every age group has their own memories. Not sharing the same frame of reference isn't a problem for every couple in love, but it can become an issue. A lot depends on how much you draw upon these experiences in the present and how knowledgeable your date is of the past. I know couples who had trouble relating to each other outside the bedroom due to the generation gap and it caused them to part ways. Only you can decide how important it is to have shared history. 

- Not Your Financial Peer. Usually, older people have had a longer career, which often means they are better compensated than a younger man would be. Just like men have been doing for eons, you may need to help foot the bill and take the lead at times when dating your younger guy, since you have more financial resources. If you are looking for an equal and expect a man to pay half for everything, dating down might not the right choice for you.......

- Becoming a Mother Figure. LOL. here we go! If you are a particularly strong woman, you may also need to fight the tendency to be in charge and avoid stepping into the motherly role. You may the lucky to have  the sweetest guy and who is willing to do whatever you  want. Over time, those traits may  drive a woman  crazy. Because he  never takes the lead, initiated anything or pay the bill. If you want to date younger, be sure to avoid guys who are "fix-it projects," although truthfully, this can be a pattern you engage in with men of any age.<smirking> I've been told that I need fixing, because of my attitude.. 

- Family and Friends. When there is a big age gap, you can run into trouble with friends and family, both yours and his. Not everyone approves of the "May-December" romances. Both of your families may not approve of your relationship or see the benefits. In addition, it can sometimes be difficult to socialize with your friends or his. While the two of you bridge the gap easily, others might not be so inclined, causing awkward social situations.

- Different Life Agendas. Not sharing the same life agenda can drive the biggest wedge between two people. You might have the desire to settle in with your man and enjoy the fruits of your hard work. On the other hand, he might be hitting his stride and with his eyes on his career, he might not be ready to put down roots. Another area of contention is having children. You might be done with child rearing, but he may still want to have his own family. That can be an unbridgeable gap and indicates different life agendas. In these cases, one person needs to compromise which might not be acceptable to you. This can cause a rift and end an otherwise suitable sexual  relationship, ask Halle Berry!


I will repeat what I said in the previous blog post. age does not matter as much as compatibility, become the main issue. When two people find the love they want, the difference in years becomes meaningless. If you just want to try dating a younger man, but aren't set on this for the long-term, what the heck — enjoy the ride for as long as it last!

my BAD perspective Foot note: Well, my dear…dating is a game and you are getting played if you think that younger men are just waiting for you and longing for you to walk into their lives. You might Not want to be “boxed” into a role, wanting to take charge, be aggressive, have sex like a man, get your “NEEDS MET”…get attention by any means necessary, you are LOSING the game that you don’t want to play. Steve Harvey said “Think Like A Man”…the common sense translation is UNDERSTAND HOW MEN THINK. Understand why in this day and time so many  MEN ARE SINGLE, but getting so MUCH SEX. They don’t even have to LOOK for sex anymore, what they’re looking for is LOVE, relationship and the Michelle Obama to their Barack. A lot of men don’t give you their “BARACK” because you act and look like LITLE KIM, so you get LIL WAYNE. A man can DOG you or love you depending on the behavior that YOU provoke. My Queens, you seem to have LOST the understanding that YOU are in control, you are no-ones princess anymore. Allow a man the time to FIND out who you are before you give him access to the PRIZE. Allow him to seek, search and discover your heart, your personality, what’s under your skirt, UNDER your skirt, should not be the first thing we need to have access to.....pull it DOWN and pull your panties UP.  If you need glasses to see that you just made a mistake... then you are wearing them too late.

You can be Silent and alluring and mysterious without being SEXUAL, Slutty and OVERT. It entices a desire to discover that which is hidden. 
For Goodness SAKE ladies…HIDE SOMETHING. Nobody leaves their valuables lying around or on display. Put them in THE SAFE. Keep your emotions SAFE, your heart SAFE, your love is a TREASURE, your VAGINA is a treasure. Let a man SEEK and FIND YOU….
The one that doesn't SEEK is not looking for TREASURE. Trash is everywhere….let him have it… be the TREASURE !  Wear a pair of these in the jazz lounge, not in the club, where it is too dark. 

You might just trip and hurt yourself physically and mentally. 

The tables are turning and many women are now wanting to date younger men

Everyone knows how older men like to date younger women and many of my female friends in my age group  complain about this. Yet in recent years, the tables are turning and many women are now dating younger men. Naturally there are wonderful things about a romance with someone younger, as well as  a number of challenges. A lot depends on the age span and how much younger you are talking about.Personally as Lion my limit has been 20 years difference in the last 9 years.

The Pros: for women dating younger men.

- Youthful Enthusiasm. Ding, ding, ding Sometimes as you mature, you feel you've already been there, done that and got the T-shirt. When you repeat those same experiences again with a younger guy going through them for the first time, you get the benefit of his enthusiasm. You will feel young again, which is one of the biggest reasons for dating younger.

- Refreshing Perspective. As you move through life, you develop belief systems based on your experiences. Sometimes they limit your point of view without you realizing it. When you spend time with someone younger, you gain access to his fresh perspective. He can open your eyes to see things in a new light and inspire and energize you. A youthful outlook can be very refreshing!

- Bedroom Stamina. Hello he is at his best when he is young! Men's sex drive tends to decrease around the age that women's peak. With a younger man, you can enjoy his resilience, stronger libido and maybe find a better bedroom match.

Game on: I would bet that most women would love to pour a milk shake  down the front of blouse as some spill from her open mouth, and have a man catch it in his mouth as his head is in her lap looking up at her chin. (OK that just me. thinking outside the box in a BAD way!) 

- Adoration as He Looks Up to You. You can have that superior position for the first time in your life! Is there a bigger ego boost then a younger man who is captivated by you? I doubt it. Enjoying the adoration of an attractive, hot, young guy is tremendously exciting and good for the female soul. I'm sure even reading this now you can imagine the fun you could be having. Tina Turner got her  groove  back in her own youthful exuberance at 70 with a younger man.I guess She opened up to activities with him that she hadn't done in years maybe doing things like horseback riding, hiking and cross-country skiing I figure she would  report how much fun it was! In many ways, dating women in their mid  40(s) might  like revisiting their own youth and would  smile a lot more as a result

-He is Not Stuck in His Ways. As you age, you get into habits and sometimes getting into a rut for years. Often people get stuck in their ways regarding how they do things and what they are not willing to try. With a younger man, his habits are not as firmly entrenched which can make it easier to negotiate your relationship exploration options. Things like what time you eat meals or go to sleep at night, where you vacation and the type of activities you enjoy together. Many of my female friends in my age group  complain about how men their own age are very rigid about the way they live their lives. They tend to say "No" more often than "Yes" to trying something new. Youth can offer more flexibility, giving you greater options to explore together.

I have found that age does not matter as much as compatibility, become the main issue. When two people find the love they want, the difference in years becomes meaningless. If you just want to try dating a younger man, but aren't set on this for the long-term, what the heck — enjoy the ride for as long as it last!

My BAD perspective on the above is as follows:

Many women claim they can't find the right man for them when they are in their late 30(s) - 50(s)  I say He Can’t Find You Because You’re  HIDDEN!

He that findeth.. Some of you understand what that means. For the ladies who don’t get it, You can't be found if you are not making yourself available. You may have  all of the attributes a man is looking for but he will not know that unless, you  step out of your shell..

Believe it or not, Black men are actually saying that they can NOT find a woman in this dating environment of 12 women to ONE man. Men are actually single, good black men. Men are SEXING all over the place, but they are single. Why? Because they can’t FIND (key word FIND) a woman, a GOOD woman. You see, men are hunters, searchers and seekers. Men love the challenge of finding hidden treasure. The reason that they can’t find you is because you’re hidden as mature women. There is no mystic or mystery about you at all. There is nothing to “discover” or search for.  You can’t be found, because you are hidden in public. You’re not chased, because you NEVER in the running. You’re not won, because you’re not the PRIZE. 

I will continue next week with the "Cons for Women dating younger men."

So who is getting on who's nerves on the weekends?

Many guys believe —that harmony in relationships is  ideal , and conflict is to be avoided at all costs. Just take a look at all the happy, cuddly couples on Facebook. LOL. all sugary.. smootches, and xoxox stuff !!!

Guess what? That's not reality, and not what you should be aiming for. Healthy relationships have conflict,Conflict should not throw up red flags. Both people expressing themselves and putting things on the table, rather than sweeping them under the rug, is a good thing. Conflict can intensify commitment.

So the next time you’re feeling friction in your relationship, remind yourself that it is normal—and will make your relationship last longer than those who stay in an all sugary relationships until the first conflict, then you both call you divorce attorneys. Read on for so-called problems, and the ways you can make sure your relationship benefits from them.

"Problem"

She gets angry when you come home and watch TV instead of helping around the house. 

Your expectations about each other's habits are out of sync. This period of time for a man is actually crucial to him being a good partner. Sitting and resting in front of a TV gives you a brief refresh moments and it lowers your stress levels.

Strategy: She interprets your need for space as negative,  gently remind her that taking a few minutes to recharge and transition will make you a more engaged partner—and you will gladly help out after a little respite. 

"Problem"
She thinks the only time you touch her is when you want sex.

For women, talking and sharing about their day is a form of intimacy. But men primarily experience intimacy by doing things for their woman and making her happy. For a man, physical intimacy and seeing her having pleasure moments is the ultimate fulfillment of his need for intimacy.

Strategy: Ask her for opportunities to physically do things for her—helping her with a project, organizing her book collection—so she knows that’s your way of being intimate.  Also, make an effort to be in contact with her on a more regular basis. When you do touch her as your way for initiating sex, tell her this is how you like to connect. But remember—she can dictate how she’d like to connect back. so know you calendar, so you do not run into a stop sign that you have anticipated.

"Problem"
She takes a vacation alone or goes on a night out with the girls.

You might interpret this as boredom within the relationship, and question whether she still likes being around you. This need for time apart might make you worried, Fellahs, don't fall for that trap, you should welcome this time and head to you favor past time, never sweat the  small stuff. 

Strategy: Remember, absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder. It is good to have a break, even a short one, because it revives your relationship. Individual time separate from each other doesn't necessarily mean she’s trying to get away from you; her life has many parts—work, family, friends—and so she may need a break from it all. Don’t take it personally. Encourage her to take time for herself, and you should book a little you-time, as well. go bowling, call a buddy you have not spoken to in a long while that lives in a different city, county, Country, continent.

"Problem"
You interrupt her with solutions when she’s trying to talk about her problems.

You want to help, and you hate to see her unhappy. Your primary source of happiness in a relationship is based in how much you can contribute to her happiness. So when she has a problem, you try to come to her rescue. This is the way you show love to her. The danger is she may interpret this as you not caring about what she is trying to tell you, and are instead focused on moving on quickly, with fix... don't do that, unless she asks for a quick fix.

Strategy: She isn't looking for you to solve the things she’s telling you. She wants your support by you listening patiently, making eye contact, and making little noises of agreement or nodding your head. This is the way you can help and show your love for her. Just  show her you care.

"Problem"
She wants you to take your dates more seriously.

Guys tend to be casual about quality time, and this can rub her the wrong way. Your last-minute planning, or putting the ball in her court as to what you want to do or where you want to eat, can come off to her as you don’t care enough  about her.

Strategy: Take control of date night. Tell her you would like to take her out this weekend, or within the next week. Women have a need to anticipate time together. If your style is to wait until the last minute to plan a date, stop it. You may think giving her the option of where to go or what to do shows that you care about what she wants, but it doesn't. Pre-planning conveys that you care about her and want her to have a fun, stress-free experiences.

"Problem"
She wants you to say “I love you more."
When a man doesn't say it, the woman assumes that he loves her less. Guys tend to think that they don’t need to say it if they show it. Just get in the habit of saying: " I love you MORE!"

Strategy: You won’t know how she feels unless you ask her. If she has said that she would like you to say "I love you too"  more often, do it. She’s communicating that this is what she needs from you to feel secure in your relationship. this is a no brain-er.

"Problem"
She thinks you’re “TOO in your head.”

Basically, you’re not showing enough emotion. To her, it might seem that you don’t love her as much, because you’re not willing to share how you’re feeling about things, In reality, we men tend to detach from our emotions in times of moderate stress. We go into analysis mode, whereas women are the opposite. They experience deeper emotional reactions in times of stress.”

Strategy: As long as you both are aware of your tendencies in these situations—and therefore, know what to expect from each other—you’ll be able to prepare for stressful times. Allow each other to cope the way as needed, not how you expect each other to.

"Problem"
She needs more attention than she once did to become aroused.

Men often misinterpret this as the woman being less interested in or attracted to them, but in fact that’s probably not the case. At the beginning of the relationship, the newness stimulates dopamine that creates arousal for her quickly from oxytocin. As the newness fades, so do those hormonal surges. She needs more touch and affection to achieve similar levels of intensity.

Strategy: Foreplay. Women do need more than men to grow aroused, so help her out. this not something you learn from your boyz.. real men take time to understand what their women's needs are, get advise from  wiser friends who have been doing it right for some years. Or  get a lesbian friend and ask her  questions. She might just tell you about the feather duster, and to use it, make sure it is new and clean. You don't want her sneezing her head off because of the dust!
.

"Problem"
She says "I don’t know” (IDK) when you ask if she wants to have sex.

She really means ‘I don’t know,(IDK). Most likely, her mind is in a million places—and she is too overwhelmed to indulge or focus on pleasure at this particular moment. don't Shake your Head and don't walk away. You may interpret this as she doesn't have a desire for you, or may be losing attraction, even if you feel this way, do not say what you are thinking .

Solution: “Ask if there’s a part of her that wants to become intimate with you. At this point, listen. This prompts her to talk out everything she may be processing or dealing with from her day. You can help her resolve the problems in her head that are preventing her from saying “yes.”

Read His Body Language Before You Date him.

How many times have you heard this? “Actions speak louder than words.” Indeed! Our body often gives away clues to what we are thinking, and this can especially be true when it comes to men. Most of the time we don’t even know that we are doing it!

Here are some Ways To Decode A Man’s Body Language:

My BAD perspective: Read his eyes, he is enjoying the personal attention you are giving him and     his attire!

• He interested if… he is sitting next or near you in a way that his shoulders and chest are turned in your direction, even though he may be glancing at something else. My BAD perspective:  Now you see him glancing a you, but remember you can't see that he is glancing at you if you aren't  glancing at him.. so if your eyes lock do not let go of the glance  first he will read that as a green light, to approach you with confidence.

• He may be interested in more than a date if… he looks at you intensively for more than 5 seconds. Unconsciously or consciously, he is trying to seduce you. My BAD perspective: the look of lust can be confused with the look of Love at first glance. Make sure you are not reading too much into how he looks at you from a distance wait till he is closeup. Hint hint.... is his tongue still in his mouth?

• He thinks you’re cute if… he grins or gives you  half smiles.  He is interested, but he isn't sure how much yet.  My BAD perspective: So he is not sure and your girlfriend is also making eyes at him you might want to check who he is really looking at. 

• He is interested if… he does if he hits you with eyebrow flash. He lifts and lowers his eyebrows when he looks at you, but it happens pretty fast. My BAD perspective: OK this so Old school. this is so not cool anymore. You look silly doing that eyebrow raise nonsense .Looks  like you having Tourette Syndrome  or something.

•  He is trying to unconsciously show his sexual interest if… he hangs his thumb off his pants waist or pocket and touches his belt buckle. You got it… We are pointing down there!My BAD perspective: these are hints ???? but they really don't mean anything if you don't react. 

• He wants YOU to come after him if… he offers a smooth grin with one side of his mouth slightly raised. He is interested, but wants you to make the first move. Go get him Cougar!

However what we men need to be aware of is.

She’s Just An Emotional Pimp – How Women Use Men.

Men are always getting a bad rap for their pursuit of sex. We are dogs, selfish, and just plain old disgusting pigs who will do plenty of wrong things  to get some booty. If sex was a job, then many men would gladly apply…wait, it is job and it’s called porn. Moving along, we are just despicable and many of us  will simply use women for our sexual benefit. Now what about the women? Why are they getting a free pass for the crap they do. I mean it is hard for me to say with a straight face that women  use men for just sex. Only because most of us men would welcome the opportunity to be used sexually so it isn't really anything most of us will take issue with. What many women do is take advantage of men who desire them by taking free meals, benefits, time spent chasing, emotions blackmail, and our listening ear. In essence these women are what I like to call an “Emotional Pimp!”.

You see many women get mad at men for taking advantage of their interest and using it to turn their hopes of a serious relationship into convenient sex. A lot of women just refuse to realize and acknowledge when women do the same thing in principle to get the things they desire or value. What I'm saying is that in many cases folks are valued equally to their respective genders. Basically if a man uses a woman just for some sex, and then leaves her high and dry, she will be hurt. She will feel like she wasted her time, she will feel violated, and now her guard is up even more when the next guy comes around. Well guess what, when a woman uses a man who is interested in her for his time, emotions, free benefits, etc. That man will be hurt.....also, feel violated, and now he also will be more guarded with the next woman. 
Just another BAD perspective!

You can't keep running in and out of my life! Stop IT!

OK....I get it!  You still like your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend and you  might  want to let them  back  into your life...... but there are good reasons why you should not. He or she might be a stand-up person, who, when push comes to shove, makes the right choice.... but they chose to leave, or you told them to leave because it is over. Unfortunately, a friendship with your— ex, someone you  hooked up with for months and even years--doesn't fall under the category of “a good idea, to repeat a personal relationship with” especially  that  he or she’s in another  relationship. He or she did you a favor walking away from you, months or years ago. This ended his/her association with you on a one on one level.
So what happens he or she is temporarily split from their current Love interest? Should you entertain a one night smack down  for old times sake?
To be clear, you and your ex are not lovers anymore. You are two people who used to be in a relationship, you had  dreams, adventures and had sex together; and then you  broke up, for whatever reason. You began a relationship because there were things you liked about each other, and when you both  ended the relationship, you  should not keep each other around to enjoy those earlier traits without the headaches because heartaches will becoming back, just because you decided to be in  an ex-with-ex  relationship.

I actually do believe that some exes (in some cases) can be genuine and platonic friends if they've healed from their relationship and enough time has passed. It’s been years since you and your ex parted ways, but you two aren't “just” friends anymore, will never be that if you have physical relation for old times sake. If you were genuinely friends, you wouldn't have “ended up hooking up, just for "old  times sake” There’s clearly some sexual chemistry at play, and as evidenced, neither of you can resist it. This is not a platonic friendship! This reliving what you both ended for sometime now.
Maybe listening to so many dating and relationship woes over the years has made me some what  cynical, but what sounds like a ploy to spend extra time with him or her when you know he’s or she's vulnerable. That you “ended up hooking up” just makes me believe this even more. In addition, you still “love his or her presence” in your life and you’re taking his or her moving on  years later as a breakup. Again, this is not a platonic friendship, if you get my meaning... this why folks never move one.

Here is an example: He or she had an argument with their current lover. He or She turns to you the EX for some comfort and understanding. You sleep together.. "Oops look at what you made me do".
There may have been a time when your ex was willing to play with fire—that would be with  you—but it seems that he or she is quite serious about keeping his current girlfriend, or her boyfriend, now that he has her back, after a disagreement has been resolved.   He or she  should be, with her or him . not you. Who knows? Maybe the current lover  already sensed the chemistry between the two of you, and distancing themselves from you was a condition that he or she set for taking him or her  back, think about it. Just saying!  Or maybe he, or she let you go as a preemptive measure because things have a tendency to spiral beyond the boundaries with you.

It could also be about appearances in their inner-circle,( that he/she dropped you like your steaming  hot) because it doesn't look as if he was all that serious about wooing his woman back if he was hooking up with his ex. (Technically, he/she  didn't do anything wrong, since he/she  was single for a heart beat.) And when—not if—that story comes out, it looks better if he can say, “I knew it was wrong and I cut off all contact.” His/her ex isn't stupid.... they will know that you are not over..... their lover.

What is clear to me, is that he/she told you that he doesn't want you in his future anymore. It doesn't have so much to do with the girlfriend or boyfriend—he/she had one before and still interacted with you—as with the fact that he has decided he/she doesn't want you to be a part of his life anymore.... should simple and clear. So as much as you think “he/she feels the same way” that you do, his/her actions say otherwise.

His girlfriend (her boyfriend) is his/her priority. And really, this should have happened a long time ago. Despite the length of time that had passed since your relationship ended and he/she dated other women, you still had a pretty big role in his/her life.... because you did not let go... You've may have  just realized that someone outranks you and he/she actually serious about her/him.

 If you were in his girlfriend’s shoes/ her boyfriend's shoes, you would want your man/woman  to make the same choices. You can't keep letting them run in and out of your  life! STOP IT!