“Should an engagement ring be financed?”

A boyfriend proposes and gave his fiancé a very nice engagement ring. She is excited about the engagement but knows that her fiancé couldn't afford to purchase the ring without financing it. This led to her questioning the relationship...
Now before you make a personal determination, consider the following:
An engagement ring is a symbol of commitment. An engagement ring doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. The primary focus should be on the relationship preparation and coming to a conclusion that you truly love the person you are involved with. No matter the size or cost of the ring, the relationship will only be as successful as the commitment of the two individuals to becoming one unit.

question: How do you feel about starting off your engagement in debt?
Debt can be a negative relationship obstacle. Relationships are difficult enough without the added pressure of debt. Debt can make a smooth relationship bumpy in a short period of time. Finances are cited as one of the top reasons marriages fail, so minimizing financial obstacles positions a couple for a greater chance of success.
A ring is not supposed to be a joint responsibility. A man traditionally presents an engagement ring to the woman he desires to marry. If a ring is financed, the debt is brought into the marriage. As a result, it then becomes the responsibility of the couple if they partner in finances. Doesn't this technically mean that the wife is then paying at least partially for her own engagement ring? I guess it depends on the way a couple agrees to manage household finances.
Interest paid increases the overall cost of the ring. If you are able to pay for the ring in full at the time of purchase, you eliminate the money paid in interest. Depending on the cost of the ring, this can potentially save the buyer thousands of dollars in interest payments.
Should an engagement ring be financed? My personal recommendation is to purchase the ring without the need for outside financing. However, it’s ultimately a personal decision that needs to be made by the responsible party. In the end, my hope is that couples would consider the long-term implications of bringing debt into their marriage.

So what else are my thoughts?
Let me share with you a little bit of my history.... When we  decided, that we would spend the rest of lives together, my then fiancé went with me to the Jeweler to pick out her ring.  We agreed on the one we both liked. So  a few months later I present it to her. I Worked some over time for 2 months every work day of the week, including some weekends and was able to afford what she wanted and bought the ring cash.  But here is the big BUT..... She didn't tell me that she had student loans.  I didn't have any debt. because my parent told me ( when I was growing up)  if you can't pay for something you do not need it, until you can pay for it. This is how My mind worked back then. I worked from 9-5 for 5 years and paid for my Bachelor of  Science degree myself. I Did by not having any student aid or loans. Imagine my shock when she told me,  after we were married that she owed  thousands of Dollars for her 2 years in college in student loans and because She never finished getting her Bachelor's of Arts degree, she had to start paying it back right away. We paid for years and years to get rid of that debt. I'm  SMH now, when I think about it, since  I loved the woman and told her I would give her whatever she wanted as long as I could afford it.... included the divorce 25 years later! 

 I guess she was  "My girl " that became a woman ,

who wanted what she wanted  and got rid of what she no longer wanted.   

So why can't money buy you Love?

No matter how much you attempt to progress professionally, it has no direct benefit on your ability to attract and experience love. It doesn't matter how many meetings you lead, how many deals you close, or how many business problems you solve.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've heard news come out about the failed marriages of politicians, athletes, entertainers, pastors, and various business leaders. Unfortunately, their million-dollar net worth had no impact on their ability to save their marriages. The reality is, no matter how much money you have you can’t buy true love.  I have often said: 'I can't be bought but I can be rented for the right price, for a  period of time!' 

As I sit back and think about the people I have encountered in   my life who have been able to successfully navigate the peaks and valleys of marriage, it truly comes down to a few key principles, bare with  me: 

• Learn the art of friendship. Today’s society has created a cart before the horse mentality in the minds of those seeking relationships. We have been trained to identify someone whom we are attracted to, talk on the phone for a couple of days, go out to dinner and a movie, and then pursue an intimate relationship. Unfortunately, this formula has led us to a culture of practicing divorce. Because we haven’t built a solid friendship with the person we are pursuing an intimate relationship with, it’s very easy to abort ship when things in the relationship start to go awry. True friendship keeps you anchored during trying times. This principle works for the CEO who makes millions of dollars or for the blue-collar worker who makes minimum wage.    

• Learn the art of communication. There are a number of reasons cited for the cause of divorce. Whether you believe the reason is money, infidelity, or  something else, it really comes down to the inability to communicate. Communication is the key to resolving many of the issues experienced in life and in relationships The major lesson we should learn is  no matter how hard you try, if you don’t speak the love language of the person you’re with, you’ll have issues. Research shows the one common denominator in marriages lasting more than 40 years is healthy communication. There is no income bracket for learning the art of communication; we all have the ability to incorporate this principle in our lives.

• Learn the art of sacrifice. Great relationships are made up of two people willing to sacrifice for one another. Neither person has to always get his or her way in the relationship. Sacrifice communicates to the other person that you would rather see their needs met than to personally get your way. Now imagine when you have two people operating under this same principle, it makes for AMAZING relationships. You can tell what kind of relationship you are potentially entering into by observing the person’s willingness to sacrifice. Proceed with caution if the person you’re dating demonstrates a need to always get their way in the relationship. Sacrifice isn't something money can buy, it’s something built into the character of a person.

And learn the words to  "A one in a million "YOU"

Use Ice to steam up your sex life!

Want to heat things up in the bedroom? First, cool things  down. By employing a technique called temperature play—using hot or cold sensations to stimulate the neuroreceptors under your skin—you can add a little kink to your sex life.

Stimulating nerve endings in foreplay builds anticipation and excitement, highly intensifying the pleasure,
All you need are a couple of ice cubes to get the fun started:

Tease Your Partner
Take several ice cubes out of the freezer and set them into a bowl. Then slowly draw one along your partner’s skin. When she starts to feel the super-cold temperatures, it’ll cause her nerves to perk up and anticipate the sensations to come, Wagner says. If you really want to drive her wild, avoid the erogenous zones—like her nipples or inner thighs—until the very last minute. As you build up her arousal, her body will start to heat up, and those sensitive areas will feel even more sensitive when you eventually touch them with ice.

But a word of caution: Don’t place anything frozen directly onto the genitals. Remember when Ralphie got his tongue stuck to the pole in A Christmas Story? Don’t let that happen to your partner’s lady parts.

Toggle Between Temperatures
When her body gets hot, it starts to loosen up; when it gets cold, it contracts. By playing with her temperature, you'll build and release loads of sexual tension. Try this: Get her all hot and bothered with something warm—whether it’s a lubricant or drizzle of honey on her stomach—and then brush her nipples or her inner thighs with the ice. The shock of cold will send shivers down her spine.

Enhance Oral Sex with Ice
Put an ice cube in your mouth and suck on it before going down on her. She’ll feel the heat of your breath and the frostiness of the cube at the same time, which will keep her nether region alert (from the cold) and relaxed (from the heat),

Bonus: Ice can also prolong your ability to withhold orgasm, thus leading to a heightened state of sexual arousal. If you feel yourself nearing climax too soon, ask her to slow you down with an ice cube—either in her mouth, or along your body—to delay your orgasm a little longer.

here is scene from 9 1/2 weeks.  that can give you some ideas. 

I really don’t like to mix business with pleasure, how about YOU?

For some, working with the boo is a major plus. You may not work in the same department, but being able to take lunch together and troubleshoot issues with a loved one can be a convenient advantage of having your boyfriend or girlfriend working at the same company you do.

I’m personally not a fan of it since:

1. I can be quite shrewd (i.e. not so lovey-dovey) when it comes to business. I have little desire to protect feelings or sugarcoat things especially when they affect a bottom line. And let’s face it, the male ego can be a delicate one and the female sensitivity and be all emotional etc.....

2. I don’t necessarily want to see my woman before, during and after work. That age-old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder reigns supreme for me — even if the absence means being as little or as much as a Plane ride away  or 100  intersections away.

3. I really don’t like to mix business with pleasure, especially when it comes to professional peers knowing my intimate business. I mean, what happens if you break up? How awkward is that? And how do you vent about a bad day if your woman had a good one, or what happens more often than not she has a bad and I didn't? What about when you’re having an argument? Will the whole office (or half the company) know it? Again, majorly awkward and very annoying.

Some companies take things a bit further, requiring employees to disclose office romances by signing documentation acknowledging their involvement and leaving workers wondering whether it’s really their boss’ business who they’re involved with. Fortune contributor Anne Fisher says it most certainly is, citing that firms seek to avoid legal issues. She writes:

All this talk of contracts and lawsuits might come as a shock to anyone too young to remember a rash of high-profile sexual harassment suits in the ’90s— not to mention a few more recent ones, like the 2011 case where a jury awarded $10.6 million to a Kansas City employee of UBS Financial Services whose supervisor had harassed her.


In fact, a new poll by work-life and benefits consultants Workplace Options suggests the millennial generation is blissfully unaware of how messy, and how nasty, sex in the office can get. Consider: 84% of 18-to-29-year-olds say they’d date a coworker, versus 36% of Gen Xers (ages 30 to 45) and only 29% of Boomers (45-65). Almost three-quarters of millennials (71%) “see a workplace romance as having positive effects such as improved performance and morale,” the report adds.

Love can already be complicated enough. Maybe for married couples this poses less of a problem, but when you’re going through the motions of matters of the heart—those not bound by wedding vows—throwing workplace politics in the mix can add extra strain.

More fallout for couples who work together include interoffice drama that could affect productivity as well as conflicts of interest that could affect team morale and company bottom lines. Some experts differ in opinion when it comes to advice for managers on how to accommodate office romances, with some saying couple comradery should be encouraged and could lead to increased retention.



All in all, the presence of interoffice dating is one that will probably stand the test of time, and if it’s worked for you, kudos.

I will remain part of the group  who would not date a coworker. With disclosures being required from major businesses these days, the trend of managers all up in your business in and outside the office may become a prevalent one. Maybe having your boo in the next cubicle isn't that  great of an idea after all. So feeling are;  let's meet up after work and jog as a way of relieving  stresses of the day. we can joke and talk and enjoy our  down time together.

  so for just one let's get it RIGHT!

How to ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE.

I am going to give you some highly coveted information why 95% of guys fall into a sadly unenviable position with women called “The Friend Zone”.

Getting out of that so-called “Friend Zone” is one of the most common questions I get from guys. Let me explain.
There are two major reasons that you are stuck in “The Friend Zone” and you are most likely doing both without ever realizing it.

Not touching enough
skipping or flat out missing the attraction stage
Let’s begin with touching at the right time.
Building rapport with a woman is great. However, rapport does not create the physical connection. To break the bonds of pure rapport and create anchors of sexuality, you need to break the touch barrier early on and intensify that touch over time.

Here’s how…

One of the most amazing methods for creating sexuality and emotional anchors is to take her intrigue and curiosity about you to new levels through simple but brief touch. This can be as straightforward as slight and casual touch of the hand or shoulder for two to three seconds or less during the course of conversation. Yet, you should be consistently creating these emotional anchors of trust and connection at least once per minute. Otherwise, you may well be headed to “The Friend Zone.” 

Rule of thumb…Increase your touch 300%. In other words, touch 3 times more than would normally. The other tendency most guys have is to skip the attraction stage altogether and go head-first into deep conversation and rapport building. Trust me, there is a time and place for rapport building; however, what typically happens is most guys never reach the peak level of attraction needed to stimulate desirable magnetism beyond friendship. This is simply amazing to me, because the friend zone should be where you should be heading first with a new person you are interested in, if you can't be friends how are you going to become lovers or a couple. People keep getting this mess backwards.You want to becomes lovers, and a couple  without being friends... SMH  



How to get out of 'The Friend Zone'
As I said, there are only a few ways to get out of “The Friend Zone.” First, let me warn you. It takes patience and it takes work. It seems that the male species has an imprint old thoughts and concepts that DO NOT work. If you are used to asking women to go out to dinner or have a drink, toss that thinking out of your mind right now. Getting out of “The Friend Zone” requires a shift in the paradigm of your connection with women.

This new way of thinking creates a win-win situation for you and for her.

The key is to invite her to “meet up” in a comfortable social setting. ‘Meeting up’ can help alleviate feelings of pressure for you both. Yet, there are a few critical aspects of this ‘meeting up’ philosophy that can help create the right environment for creating sexuality and emotional anchors. One of the coolest things I suggest to guys who ask me about getting out of “The Friend Zone” is to invite your friends to meet up at the same location. In particular, inviting attractive female friends not sexually interested in you. When you meet up with her and follow this system, you will see a transformation in the way she interacts with you.
Fellahs  The Old TV series " Three is Company" was a perfect example of women being relaxed around a guy who does not make them feel like a conquest.  the other upside to this math equation is that she will be eyeing (without looking directly at her)  your female friend and thinking, "Wow he has good looking female friends..... Is he a player?" or "I know I can make him want me more than her, because she is already in that Friend zone, I don't want to join into  an  over crowded Friend zone , and compete for his friendly attention!"   


Why does this work?

Well, for starters, when she sees you interacting equally in a group conversation and creating eye contact with everyone — female and male — not just focusing just on her, you become more attractive.
When she sees other women are attracted to you, you show value. She starts to desire your attention. However, to get your attention she has to do something to create attraction.
This becomes your opportunity to be extra playful, a chance to flirt and follow the “Attraction Blueprint.” Remember, this is not the time for deep conversation, but rather the time for attraction through laughing and touching. When you have set the stage at the height of attraction, you now have the opening for building rapport.

Do not put attraction on the back-burner here.  Touching is still crucial because you are still providing value in a number of stimulating ways.

As you can see, getting out of “The Friend Zone” means recognizing your own behaviors when it comes to women and changing the way you interact.

You are not just another nice guy. You are not one of the 95%. You can provide her value and create emotional anchors that will show her a new part of you that she hasn't seen. I always feel that the art of dancing is the best way to create contact, Latin Salsa dance style work very well because the dances are interactive to the greatest extend. holding hand and spinning and then letting  her hand go and see what she does with her hands.. if she puts both on your shoulders, you are heading away from the Dreaded : "Friends zone". *** you better know how to dance or you will not be able lead! 

New Rules on dating, get rid of the Damn old RULES!

I'm not a neat freak,  I should be because it allows me to find things quickly, it also creates space when I need to add something new. Relationships are no different, you can't fit a new person into a junkie space filled with drama with baby Daddies, gossiping friends, hours on social media, and sex with ex's.Chances are if you were to meet Mr. or Ms. Right today you would scare them away with all the mess going on in your life. Hell, some of you literally don't have enough drawer space for someone to leave a pair of draws. Making space for someone to love shouldn't happen after you meet them, it should happen before. So, take my advice and start clearing out your old stuff, old contacts on FB, Twitter, and Instagram, old friends who don't enhance you, and ex's who are blocking you emotionally and sexually....anything that's not consistent with you moving forward has to go! I can't promise you that Prince/Princess Charming will come knocking at your door the next day, but I can promise you that when that special person comes along you'll have room to give the relationship your best shot!Here is my stupid rule.... If I meet you online and invite you for a drink and you don't look like your pics... YOU will be paying for your own drinks until you do!

Somehow, somewhere, somebody decided that when it comes to dating we can’t just do what we feel, when we feel like it. Instead, they came up with these numeric formulas: if you wait X amount of time to do Y thing, you’ll be married with a baby by age Z. But I just don’t buy that! 
 Old rules are just out dated. women and men need to do what feels right. the only rules they should abide by is not doing stuff that does not feel right or  things that a flatly nonsensical. just remember the one thing that is a rule to remember you can not UN-ring a bell. Once you have done that one thing that you can't undo then effort n the world or denial can undo it.  So Let's start with the  stupidist rules

• WAIT TWO DAYS TO CALL

Hold on: when you give someone your number and he calls you that night, or the next day, all you think is, “Aw! He couldn't wait to contact me!” Don’t you want to make somebody else feel that way?

• KEEP TEXTS TO THREE LINES

Think four line text messages are too long-winded? Hey—if you’re witty, and it takes you 7 lines to make the person laugh, you just go ahead and  write those 7 lines! If they get bored or tired after 3, they’re illiterate or disinterested, in which case you have bigger problems.

• WAIT TWO HOURS TO REPLY

Have you ever been glad somebody waited two hours to respond to you? Probably not! If you were sending sweet nothings, you get insecure waiting for a reply, thinking the person doesn't feel the same way. If you were asking a question about making plans, you kinda need an answer ASAP!

• DON’T BRING MORE THAN TWO OR THREE FRIENDS

A man with confidence can handle wooing and entertaining your 5 female friends, if that happens to be who you’re with when he asks to meet up on a Friday night.

• HOLD OFF ON DOUBLE DATES

Afraid bringing a new guy to a double date is asking too much of him? If he’s into you, he’ll make the effort to befriend your best friend’s boyfriend, and impress your friend.

• WAIT 10 DATES TO HAVE SEX

If a guy likes you he likes you—that won’t change because you have sex after 6 dates or 3 dates or whatever.

• KISS BY THE THIRD DATE

Feel pressured to have some sort of physical contact before date three or else you fear they’ll be no chemistry? Look: there either is chemistry or there isn't, and it will wait as long as you need.

• MAKE HIM PAY AT LEAST $50 FOR THE DATE

Think a guy who takes you on a $30 drinks date is cheap? How would you like to spend $30 every time you just wanted to see if maybe you liked a guy? If you went on just four first dates a month, that’s $120 a month! Maybe for nothing! Let the guy pay what he’s comfortable with.

• BE 15 MINUTES LATE TO THE DATE

Think being early or on time makes you look eager? Grow up! It makes you look respectful, responsible and like you have your sh*t together.

• WAIT 6 MONTHS TO SAY, “I LOVE YOU”

Maybe don’t say it on the first date, but if things are going well, you can tell if the feeling is mutual. And even if the other person doesn't feel that way just yet, if it’s meant to be, they won’t be scared off by you saying it after three months.

• WAIT ONE YEAR TO MOVE IN TOGETHER

Okay in this case there is a number that matters, but it’s not one year! One year is nothing! Think about how many one-year relationships you've had that ended. Probably a handful because you’re really still getting to know someone at a year! Wait two or three years. Wait as long as you can.

• WAITING THREE MONTHS OR MORE TO INTRODUCE HIM TO  YOUR  FRIENDS

If you actively avoid bringing a guy around your friends for three months, he’ll just think you don’t have friends. OR he’ll take offense. He can handle your friends, and it’s okay if things don’t work out with him—your friends won’t be too heartbroken.However you might kick yourself for  not receiving that ring burning a hole in his pocket. this  might just be the one regret you might not be able to smooth over.. if he start feeling he  is the only one thinking seriously about your relationship

• WAIT 6 MONTHS TO INTRODUCE HIM TO THE FAMILY

What if your family lives in town? What if you live with them?! What if they visit every month? What if, in your family, meeting your significant other isn't really a big deal? Every family is different: you know what’s appropriate in yours.

• SPEND 2 NIGHTS APART A WEEK

There is no right or wrong number of nights you have to spend with your partner each week. Some couples are happiest if they only spend two nights a week together, because they have plenty of time to see friends! Some couples want to be together every night, and never get sick of each other—good for them. To each their own.

Why Would You Want to be with Someone Who Doesn't Want You?

The idea that opposites attract is bull crap! It sounds clever but in reality it makes no sense. Try dating someone with opposite values or opposite attitudes about sex, marriage, raising children, healthy lifestyles, religion, and even cleanliness. The word we should be looking for is compliment, or compatible, not opposite.
Which brings me to my point, when things don't work out between couples it's usually because they have opposite views on something of importance, the question is, why then do we torture ourselves over it ending? Disappointed yes, sad, maybe, but devastated hell no! The only reason anyone should be crushed by losing a partner is when they have wasted valuable time, money, resource that can not be recovered and maybe  their health has been impacted, other then that, your attitude should be, "Thanks for the lesson...NEXT!"
Trust your instincts and walk away when it's obvious that you don't want the same things. It's hard enough to stay together when you have chemistry and compatibility, but you have no chance of making it work, and more importantly, no chance of being happy when you have to force your way into a person's life!


There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, forget about  the ones who didn't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is truly  living

From the time  we were kids  we were  told to love everyone. However, when you don’t like someone then you need to walk away and focus not on him or her, but the dislike  you’re harboring you need a release from this. Otherwise, you will allow your piety to take over. Before you know it, you’re using every word  as a sword to slice up  the  other person into pieces. From your point of helplessness, it will be easy to recruit people that will mistake your kindness as righteousness, when in reality it is a hidden agenda to humiliate through the words you use. This game is so often used by women in or after a bad relationships, that it is the number one reason why many people become inactively involved in a relationship. It is a silent, unspoken hypocrisy that is inconsistent. If you choose not to like someone, then avoid them. If you have gotten to the point where you don't  love them anymore , then let them just walk away. don't hold on to your  frustrations ,  release them and let forgiveness be your savior.  Therefore  allowing yourself time to heal through distance. Try focusing on what you shared on the positive   rather than the negative aspects you dislike about that person now.

Victory is ,of cutting off the chains and leaving iron ball behind, which  is like a boxer that hangs up  his or her  gloves, after consecutive losses; sometimes walking away is what builds character, than the actual fight. Avoid feeling  like humble fruit on a tree that falls to the ground and rots, never finding appreciation in the taste of any ones mouth. Say goodbye, as the scars will prevent you  from coming back!