Perplexed? Is this your state of mind these days?

There is a saying: "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going." This sounds good to those who are Self-starters, the Optimist, the not too Perplexed or the ones who ignore the problems of the day (hoping that the problems will solve themselves.)

The reality is.....  It is not that simple...  the key to getting problems solved is that you have to want to tackle them head-on. You have to be willing to fight through the head-winds, the keyword here is 'HEAD.' Let us not sugar sprinkle things with nice slogans, nice phrases, written by people who lived in a different era or are in a different Income bracket. These days problems are tougher, because our lives are tougher and our resources are not enough. Our support groups are all catching Hell themselves so they can't help us. The News is almost always BAD news. So how do you pick yourself up by your bootstraps and keep Trucking? 

Start by taking baby steps. Get with people who will encourage you (not depress you with their own Soap-Opera.)        

Let’s face it talking about your problems helps.... only if the person listening can bring a positive comment to the mix. For example: I cannot explain it; but when difficulties arise, I am not perplexed or doubtful. I know how to meet them head-on.

Really? How do you do that?  The Key is you need to have a 'Quiet mind' which cannot be perplexed or frightened but go on in fortune or misfortune at your own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm. The storm will pass; the clock will tell you how long it is taking. 

Going from  -zero to sixty-  in problem solving, is not for everyone. Some need to do a tune-up first. Others need to rotate from being in the driver’s seat to becoming a passenger..... (They can't handle the rush at the wheel). So take a few minutes to determine the way you will deal with what is really bothering you, your fear of the problem or how to deal.

Think about the end result that you want to see happen, first, picture in your mind where you will be when the storm lifts, then look at the Clock and the Calendar and create a timeline for yourself. 

"It's ironic how we ignore those who want us, want those who ignore us, Love those who hurt us and hurt those who Love us". These words were spoken by a beautiful and sensitive young lady I had a conversation with. Why are these mood altering statements so powerful these days? Answer: they tell a story...these stories are compelling because they create a mindset of 'there is no Happiness anywhere.'   Hmm!

Is this pessimistic or what.... NO HAPPINESS ANYWHERE.....So there is no one in your inner-circle who is actually in a happy relationship. Who's life is working well? Well get out of your circle of associates and FIND those who are happy... you need to see what they are doing so you can copy... you sure can't copy people who make statement like that, they will never be happy. 

"Man.... I will never get this science Stuff".... Really? 

Is that how you deal with something that's tough? Do you think that you will have everything you want in the future simply because everything you tackle today is easy? Learning should be - Tough - if it’s too easy then your reward would be less valuable in the end. Those days when the World came to you on  a Silver platter are over. It is time to rise to the occasion. Standing ovations were never granted to anyone who had it easy. It came to those who  accomplished what others failed at. So step up to challenge and don't look at it as too hard.... instead look at it as a challenge that you will look back someday and say: ‘I did it.’  If it was easy everyone would breezing through it. Here is where the tough gets tougher, and keeps going.

Ever wonder how others do it?

People that find 'Inner peace  and strength" are people who take their problems to the edge of the cliff to remind themselves that the World is round and just beyond the horizon there are answers. They look to the Horizon and find Hope. They Feel the wind and see the storm for what it is... A weather change that will change again. All storms don't last, they all pass in time.... just look at the clock and mark the time it is taking for it to blow over. This will help you deal with the next storm..... Because, however long you stay in the state of mind of the storm is how long the Perplexed state will last. 

There is only one thing which can master the perplexed stuff of epic material into unity; and that is, an ability to see in particular human experience some significant symbolism of man's general destiny.

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How to Stop Regretting Your Past.

It’s impossible to go through life without regrets. Maybe you should JUST LET IT GO.  We've all made mistakes that haunt us for years, whether it’s staying in an unhealthy relationship, saying something hurtful to a friend, or walking away from an enticing job opportunity. While it’s normal to regret the mistakes we’ve made, we have to get past them. Otherwise, we’re putting our future happiness at risk.

But there are ways to move past your regrets and maybe even come to peace with them. If you are regretting a mistake you have made, here are some steps you can take to move past it: 

Apologize. One of the main feelings that accompanies regret is guilt, plain and simple. We may have made the mistake of acting badly and hurting others. Even though it can be scary to bring up heated issues from the past, apologizing is a huge step towards getting rid of your regret. By apologizing to the people you hurt, you are taking responsibility for your mistake and opening up the possibility of change. You can’t control how they will react, but even if they don’t respond positively, you have taken a very important step in moving past your guilt.

Practice Mindfulness. When you live your life regretting the past, you are by definition not living in the moment. Cultivating a sense of mindfulness will allow you to learn to live in the present moment – that is, enjoying each moment for what it is, with a non-judgmental attitude. Try signing up for a meditation class, or get a guided meditation CD to get started. Meditation will also help you learn to observe your regret rather than be consumed by it.  

Allow Yourself To Grieve. When you allow yourself to fully feel the burden of the mistakes you have made, it’s painful. Often we spend our lives trying to avoid negative emotions rather than conquer them head-on.  Even though it will be unpleasant, you should allow yourself to experience these feelings fully. By doing so, you’ll be able to eventually move past them.

Focus On The Positive. Mistakes are generally labeled “bad” or “wrong,” but see if you can view your mistake from a different angle. Is there anything you have learned from your mistake? Is there any wisdom that you gained from it? Perhaps you’ve been focusing on only the negative. If you can, find the silver lining that came out of the situation. If anything, your mistake has led you to learn what not to do in the future.

Forgive Yourself. It’s easier said than done, but finding a way to forgive yourself for your mistake is a radical form of self-compassion that allows you to be kind to yourself, rather than focusing on what you did wrong. Remember that no matter how terrible your feel your mistake was, we all mess up sometimes – in very big ways. The best thing we can do is to recognize this and be kind and gentle with ourselves.

Move Forward. When all is said and done, the only thing we can do is to keep on moving forward – so do this with gusto! Make a plan of action that will help inspire you or bring you to peace. There doesn’t have to be any particular goal here, and it’s okay if your plan has nothing at all to do with your past mistakes. The goal is to find something, now or in the future, that will allow you to focus your attention away from your regrets. This could be as simple as indulging in a new hobby or starting a new fitness routine, or something deeper, like fostering an important relationship.  

I think these lyrics are on the money... there is a way out of the dull-drums: 

Just "LET IT GO."