I love women who read.

Fellahs! A woman who reads is like a jewel in a Tiffany box.
Once you engage her in a discussion you will be totally amazed at what a treasure you have just discovered. A woman who spends time reading is the type of women you can have a conversation with, for 2+ hours at a time. But you better be smart also!

Are those dimples I see, when you smile with me ?
OK do you have a minute to chat ?

Ask not for the title of the book she holds, Ask if she would share some of the knowledge
she has gained from what she has read, with you. OK, I kinda like how that makes me sound like I have something that I can contribute to the conversation. But I want to start by listening.
My favorite  University Professor once told my classmates and I.
“If you think you are the smartest person in the room then you are in the wrong room!”
I never forgot that statement he was not only my Systems Analyst professor,
but also a Wall Street executive that I became friends with as I also worked on  Wall Street.
He only taught evening classes at NYIT, so he had real business experience and knowledge to
share with us. We would often ride the train together uptown for 6 pm class start time. I digress.

If I learned anything from Dr. Pope it was that he listen and engage
smart people in conversation as often as he could.

Those days taught me this very valuable lesson. " never become too
comfortable in Happiness that you forget the struggles, remember that happiness
became an "option" as a result of a need for better options!

"love is just a myth for hopeless dreamers".
 Hmm very interesting statement!

Final thoughts

Now is the time for women to unapologetically own these qualities regardless of where they are in their careers, the industry they work in or who they deal with. Sectors like supply chains and logistics are still very male dominated and draconian in their ways. Deals are made in bars, on the golf course and around the braai, with women still fighting hard for a place at the good old boys’ table.

I believe that while there are incredibly strong, dynamic and powerful women calling the shots in the logistics industry, this number is not high enough and the journey is still pursued with unnecessary patriarchal obstacles and challenges. At every supply chain conference that I have attended, the number of men far outnumbers the presence of women and that is an indication that there is still a need to create greater participation.

It is my hope that influential women in the logistics industry today, will make it a strategic priority to address equality challenges in their organizations and will encourage women at all levels to aim for a place at the table and to feel free and proud to claim who they are fully. What’s needed going forward is less judgment around what’s male or female and more interest in how these qualities can work together to create synergistic partnerships that drive the World  and transform potential.

The possibility of perfect, is too tempting

Have  you seen me lately?

The power of group...support in fitness  is something that cannot be described but has to be experienced. A  supportive group can do wonders to help many folks more easily to get in touch with their deeper and better selves. To share their feelings with a group means there are more people available to give you encouragement, and support. The potential for growth or body reduction and progress  is magnified by the size of the group, by listening to others speak openly and honestly about their feelings about their progress your awareness and insight expand. When I took a break from my professional career in IT, because I was very frustrated, I decided to help a good friend manage a gym and I became a personal trainer. I found myself trying to help women with their goals to lose inches, this was a tougher challenge than I initially thought. Because women are specific about which areas they want to changed. An ex-girlfriend, who lived with me for a period of time,  started a business shuttling women back and forth to the Dominican Republic to have liposuction and tummy tucks, breast implants, and buttock enhancements done. I hated what she did to herself and these women who wanted instant changes, but didn’t realize what it could cost them. So after my experience, of watching her “nip and tuck” shuttle business, I used what I knew from years ago training in the gym to help those who did not mind working it off, in sweat. Needless to say It was a tougher job because women are not always patient, the wanted to see instant improvements. They wanted to lose inches in and not lose their curves.  Men don’t always understand what we put women through when we look at other women, with lust in out eyes. Women start to hate these other women, or they want to become these other women, instantly. Having seen how some guys felt when their women went through surgery and they could not tough their women for months..., because the tummy tuck left them in pain and recovery was slower than any of them expected. Women would have to wear these body suits, which were designed to help the cuts heel. This was killing relationships. Guys would tell me that, their woman’s belly button no longer was round it was ova because she her skin was stretched so much that a new one would have to be created. She had a C-section cut that was way larger than the one she had  after delivering a baby. Some of them had the fat cells that were taken out of their waistlines injected into their butts to make that larger. Man ooh man, the stories I heard were turning my stomach. Lucky when my ex-girlfriend did hers we had already broken up and I didn’t see her for months until she came to me asking me to help her with a new project. This is when I knew that she had gone too far in altering her herself. And the attraction I had felt for her was gone. I liked her the way she was less than perfect, when we met. She could not understand why I would feel that way, because in her view she was now perfect!! 

Now tell me I don't look good!

I’m that  guy who, thinks that women are beautiful the way nature intended.  Clothing and makeup can make a woman standout, but surgery is for illnesses and life saving episodes. Not being happy with yourself, the way the  created intend you to be, is so counter productive in my view.

Well women can say guys alter their looks also, working out  to become stronger to play sports, like Football, basketball or hockey, and lifting weights to have bigger muscles, the stronger the better to compete in body building contest or weight lifting contest etc… This is  true but we don’t often do it surgically, except for some gay guys have started having chess in plants and fake abs implants. I rest my case on this.. The word “fake” is what turns me off. 

As far as women are concerned they have allowed male plastic surgeons to alter their face and bodies for no good reason. I’m sure there are women  plastic surgeons doing it also, but it all started with male plastic surgeons who experiment on women. Telling women “they are not perfect” just the way they are. SMDH.    

You can work it off if you try

Man ooh man, has she really changed for the better? Only time will tell.

Well aesthetically  maybe she looks better, but deep down she will always wonder if she is really drawing attention for the real person or “the new fake person.” Time will change her as gravity shows no mercy, over time. Ask anybody who has changed and had people question them “what the hell happened to you? you used to look so good and and near perfect.” 

We helped each other get our best bodies!

Final thoughts.

We Men can help women if we take the time to listen to what their needs are if they are willing to tell us. When we take the time to listen to her feelings we are in effect saying to the person inside her head, “you matter. You deserve to be hears and I care enough to listen”.

I hope you fellahs will use some sensitivity techniques because I have witnessed it transform the lives of people, including my own. As we listen more Love is shared and it becomes easier and works better in relationships. It takes, continuous practice, but it’s so worth it.

A perfectly arranged marriage?

Yesterday, my mom and dad told me I was getting engaged to the grandson of my grandfather's best friend. We're Japanese-American so it wasn't that unusual. So today I met my new fiance and realized that it was the same guy that I spent 3 hours with on Facebook, debating whether Pokémon was better than Yu-Gi-Oh!. I think it's fate!"

No one likes (I think) an Arranged Marriage, especially those so betrothed. They'll rip their clothes, gnash their teeth and swear to... was that  not them necking in the atrium, with some other dude or female yesterday?

Despite their initial opposition, the couple who have been betrothed discover they not only like each other, but love each other after some time together, and make it perfectly clear that even if they weren't in an arranged marriage they'd still choose to marry or at least start dating. Drama being what it is, you can expect their earlier attempts to undo the "arranged marriage" will mature and succeed, and their parents set them up with a new fiancée or fiancé that they do hate. Expect one or the other to have to swallow their pride and come out and say they do love the other.

A variant is that both meet outside of the home environment (before or after the declaration) without immediately recognizing each other. Maybe they ran away from home entirely, only to happily embrace "a fellow in misery" — and later commiserate about their bossy parents. Eventually, once they recognize one another, their shared common ground helps them fall in love.

                               

we have so much in common,
I have nothing against " a perfectly arranged marriage"
 just as long as I'm the one doing the arranging!

Sometimes these perfectly arranged marriage doesn't come about randomly, but intentionally by parents, like a Batman Gambit scenario. One or more of the parents involved who knows both well enough has arranged the marriage since both are highly compatible and could naturally fall in love. In fact, this is the purpose of an 'arranged marriage' in the first place. It is akin to a matchmaking service, and the couple will generally have some sort of courtship before tying the knot, or jumping the broom, and it's very rare for someone to be forced to marry a person they despise. Even a Gold Digger would want a decent relationship if for no other reason than to help in securing the knot.

We don't know each other,
but I know you will be loyal,
because our powers are combined,
and together we rule this Kingdom.

In other cultures, however, especially feudal societies, marriages would be struck between noble houses to secure alliances, build power, get closer to the throne, etc. In cases like this, the couple's individual romantic tastes are a very low priority, as they see the marriage as a duty to their families. But then it turns out they love each other after all, because the had no other experiences.

This trope is frequently used as a justification for the use of the "Arranged Marriage" and Altar Diplomacy tropes to audiences with Western sensibilities, who are often uncomfortable with the concept of forced marriage. It's not a violation of free will if both want to get married, after all.

We got married, in Vegas because we had
too much to drink and are very happy.
So  our arranged marriage is working just fine

Compare Marriage Before Romance for when a couple has gone through with a marriage for other reasons than love and only then starts to develop feelings for one another. Expect a lot of arguing and bickering to contrast with the more idealised love story of the unwed, ending in a big Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other moments, to the surprise to everyone, most of all themselves.

Do you Want to be in a power couple relationship?

The term “power couple” refers to men and women who are both successful in their respective fields, and come together to form an unstoppable duo. We have Beyonce and Jay Z, Kim and Kanye, Amal and George Clooney, and the list goes on and on. Well the last two are the only ones I really admire as a power couple There is a common misconception that women look for guys with money. While it may seem that way, the reality is that successful men have traits that most women find attractive. It’s totally possible to still be working towards your dreams and have the traits that ladies are looking for.

Thank you for coming with me
to my company’s Christmas party.

These tips applies to successful women, as well as women who are not  put up on a pedestal. Sometimes, it’s tough to really know what women are thinking, so I will also add a secret look into the minds of women with first-hand experiences in the perspective as someone who has worked and lived with women from different backgrounds. Keep in mind that you don’t need all of these tips  and these traits to get a lady-friend. Nobody is perfect. But if you are struggling to find a partner, these tips can help you find the love of your life. Maybe!

Think about what would the women you know, want in a man, that are not willing to date you!

Confidence.

Women love men with confidence, but be careful. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and no one likes someone who is stuck-up and arrogant. When I say confidence, it is the ability to handle uncomfortable or unfamiliar situations with a sense of security. Your true confidence comes out when you meet new people or travel somewhere new. It’s about having an “I-got-this” attitude with almost everything.

Confidence is key when it comes to succeeding in just about any area. Women who have succeeded on their own need to have confidence in order to get ahead in life, because being meek and mild gets you nowhere.

Honesty.

There is a saying “fake it til you make it”, but that doesn’t mean you should lie about your accomplishments, or anything else, for that matter. Sorry, fellahs, but we’re terrible liars. Once we  get in the habit of lying on a regular basis, it becomes impossible to keep up with remembering which story we told our significant other. It’s best to stick to the truth.The Donald is prime example of lying for no good reason. 

Once someone is caught in a lie, that makes it hard to trust them, especially for women who have been hurt in the past. That is a huge red flag, and most women with self-worth will break up with a liar immediately. If you choose to lie to people, and your relationships falls apart, the blame lies solely on you.

Motivation.

Being attracted to motivation is a primal instinct. Think about it. Back in the ages of cavemen, do you think the women would want to mate with the guy who sits around in the dark area of the cave  all day, or do you think she wants the guy who is waking up at the crack of dawn hunting for food?

Even if you are not successful yet, if you show that you are motivated to do something with your life, that’s really attractive to most women. It is far better to show someone how motivated you are through your actions, rather than just words. You can talk all you want about your dreams, but if all you do is sit around watching Netflix, that doesn’t count, now does it.

Empathy. 

There is nothing worse than a guy who is rude to a waiter at a restaurant. Anyone who is rude to people who work in service industries probably has never had to work one of those types of jobs themselves. Even if he was lucky enough to never have to work a job like that, anyone with a sliver of empathy can put themselves in another person’s shoes.

Women have it tough. Women go through a lot of things that men will never understand, and women don’t expect us men to figure it all out. But having empathy- or trying to understand how difficult a situation may be, goes a long way.

Faithfulness.

It should be obvious, but women want a man who will be faithful to her during the course of their relationship. If you’re exclusive, it’s important to honor that commitment. Some people choose to be in open relationships, but that is something that both partners would agree on together.

If you have a history of cheating on women in the past, or if you brag about all of the women you have been with, that is a red flag that you may not ever be faithful. Be upfront with your expectations of the relationship so that you don’t break a woman’s heart.

Great With Kids

Even if you’re taking it slow with your relationship, women will always take notice how you act around children. It will give her a good idea if you will make a good father someday, or not. Some women who are super focused on their careers don’t want kids right away, but she will still want you to be great around her nieces, nephews, and her friend’s kids. In some cases, both partners will agree that they never want to have kids, so it really doesn’t matter too much if babies make you uncomfortable. But that it a conversation you need to have pretty early on in the relationship, because it can be a huge deal-breaker, for someone, who does want children.

Sense of Humor

The best relationships in the world are when both partners are always laughing together. Women don’t expect you to be a standup comedian, but having the ability to see the humor in things is very attractive. If you are always serious, and never joke around or laugh, that could be a big reason why you’re not finding a woman that matches your interest. It’s not necessary to try to force yourself to be funny. You should still be yourself. But if at all possible, try to see if your sense of humor is compatible. If not, it may be a sign that it’s not meant to be. There is a difference between her laughing with you and laughing at you.

Common Respect

Most women want a man to respect her in more ways than one. For women who are strong-willed and take their careers seriously, respect is one of the most important attributes that she can find in a man. Some women don’t ask for much. A simple “If you have time” added to a request for a favor, or asking “What’s your schedule like this week?” first, before asking her to drop her plans to do something with you, or for you, can go a long way. Showing respect for a person also means that they are more willing to have a conversation about decision-making, instead of going over their head. We aren’t in the 1950’s any more, and women want to be equal partners in a relationship.

Your cleanliness

Women don’t expect men to be a total neat freak around the house, but they  don’t want to be picking up after your mess, either. Keep your apartment or house neat and tidy. Make your bed, do your laundry, and wash the dishes. If she walks into your place and sees trash and dirty clothes lying everywhere, it’s not a good look. It is especially important for a successful woman to know that a man will pick up after himself, because she will be too busy working to want to clean your house for you. If you can afford it hire a part time housekeeper.

If you are doing really well with your career, maybe you can afford to hire a maid permanently to come over   twice or three times a week. However, messes can pile up quickly. If you know that you’re a bit of a slob, try to be more mindful of how you treat your surroundings. Pick up after yourself often.

Do you think she would walk with confidence ahead of him
if she was thinking “he looks like crap walking behind me?”

Having Style

Most men think that women want to see them in expensive suits. That’s not necessarily true. Every woman has a different taste in fashion, and their personal style is going to reflect what they look for in a man. For example, I had  female friend in college who was a ballerina. She was very reserved with her fashion, and only wore jeans, t-shirts, or hoodies every single day, aside from the clothes she wore to ballet practice and performances. When I asked her if she  was attracted to guys who had a lot of style, she told me that she wasn’t shallow about what men wore, and she would never judge a book by it’s cover. I challenged her- What if he was an James Brown  wannabe who wore big chains, a backwards baseball cap, and baggy pants that were falling off his behind ? Would she give him a chance? She quickly said, “Oh, hell no no no. I would never date someone like that.” I pressed- But what if he was your soul mate, and you avoided him because of the clothes he wore? She responded, “The kind of guy I want would never wear an outfit like that.” …See my point? OK that was back then, however today studs try to look tough showing their boxers, as they wear sagging pants, like jailhouse “b!tches”. Even the most supposedly non-judgemental female is actually 100% judging what you wear, but it’s okay to stick with your true style. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.

The fashion you wear will attract the type of woman you are looking for, and it will repel those who aren’t interested in your ghetto look, hint, hint. The women I’ve known want a guy who wear the same kind of clothes as them. Don’t wear clothes just because you think they will attract a woman. Wear the clothes that reflect who you truly are, and you will find a woman who appreciates that.

High Earning Potential

Sorry…Remember when I said money doesn’t matter? Well, okay scratch that. It does matters. According to a poll taken by Men’s Health Magazine, “earning potential” was listed as one of the top qualities that women look for in men. The key word here is “potential”. If a man is in medical school, for example, and a woman knows that you’re broke right now, but someday, you’ll have a great job with stellar healthcare, that’s basically just as good as being a doctor already. Along with confidence, motivation, and all of those other attributes to success, you need to be on a path that actually makes sense. If you are working at a fast food restaurant for minimum wage, but you’re promising a six-figure lifestyle without a plan to get there, a woman will know that it takes a lot more than flipping burgers to get you there. Trust me she will not hop on board for the ride…..In college, this truly doesn’t matter very much, since everyone is almost in the same boat. However, a woman will want a man to make the same or more than she does, if they want to have a good relationship, and she does not want to carry your baggage.

Being Attractive helps

Well…duh, right? No matter what gender you are, being attractive gives you a better chance of finding someone. In a world where people can swipe left and right to make a quick decision about someone’s looks, our society feels even more pressure to be good-looking. The good news is, women find a lot of different body types attractive. That’s why a “dad bod” is a trend right now. Sure, being fit and having a six pack is sexy to some women, but unless a woman is also in great shape, it’s usually not a prerequisite for dating.  There are a lot of attractive qualities in a person that has nothing to do with a muscular body. Sometimes, a guy will have beautiful eyes, or an adorable smile. Women usually find the inner beauty in a person, once they get to know them. But if there is anything you can do to improve your physical appearance, it can’t hurt to try.

Being a Good Listener

“Please go ahead, you first,” Having good communication is essential in any relationship, and it is especially important when you’re dating. Communication is not possible without being a good listener. It’s easy to tell when a man is just waiting to speak, and not really listening or absorbing what the woman has to say. Next time you’re in a conversation with a woman, pay attention to how well you remember things she said when you get home later. Were you really focusing too much on impressing her and figure out what you should say? In most cases, listening to what she has to say and building a conversation out of that will lead to a better connection than you blurting out that you went to a good school or you earn six figures. She have done the same thing and is not impressed with your profession.

Good Hygiene

Don’t stink up the place. If you are really struggling to find a woman friend, you might want to take a quick sniff under your armpits. Remember that being in a relationship is all about intimacy, and no one wants to get up close and personal with someone whose breath smells like garlic. It may sound like common sense, but trust me, it’s not. You should be using mouthwash, flossing, and brushing your teeth two to three times a day. Take some gum or mints to work, too. If you’re trying to keep it fresh all day. If you have a problem with acne, buy a facial wash to use in the shower. Use shampoo and conditioner at least once every 3 days, and shower your body every single day, if you sweat a lot twice a day. Keep your beard and body hair trimmed, too. Beards can be sexy,to some women but only if you have the ability to actually grow one properly.

Wear deodorant every single day. Cologne does not mask body odor. In fact, it only makes it worse. If you use cologne at all, remember to be subtle about it, because even good smells can be overpowering. Just dab a little on your neck, and it becomes a pleasant surprise smell when she goes in for a kiss.

Romance

According to Men’s Health,(OK I like stats) 45% of women listed “romantic” in the attributes they want in a man. Women can’t help it. They grew up watching Disney movies where princesses get rescued by a prince, and every romantic comedy has some grand gesture of their undying love. It’s not that women can’t distinguish fiction from reality, but without a sense of romance in the relationship, you’re likely to fall into the friend zone pretty quickly, it’s like quicksand getting out is a struggle.

Romance doesn’t have to just be roses and chocolates. It can be accomplished over dinner with you looking into her eyes, holding hands, or letting her know that she is admired  and appreciated. Don’t get overly romantic or say “I love you” (that would be an idiot move) right from the beginning, because it will definitely creep her out. But when the timing is right, make sure you let your lady friend  know that she is the object of your affection.

Great in Bed

Sex is a natural part of any adult relationship, and having a good to great experience matters. A lack of sexual gratification or intimacy can lead to infidelity, or breaking up. Getting your woman to climax is obviously a must to keep her happy, but some of the best experiences in bed have a lot more to do with intimacy.

Women want to have good “pillow talk” conversations, kisses, cuddling, eye contact, etc. This so much better than just doing the deed without any regard for the woman’s pleasure, and then hopping out of bed soon afterwards…This sounds like it should be common sense, but sadly, it’s not. On the other hand, every woman wants something different to keep her satisfied, and that’s a conversation you will need to have after you have been together for a little while.  

Passion

Men are taught to be reserved, and it’s really a shame, because women love to see a man who is passionate about something. It almost doesn’t matter what it is. You could be really into a hobby or your career. If you can talk about something you love with a lot of animation and excitement, there is something very intoxicating about that. Think about all the YouTubers in the world who make a living from just talking one-on-one to a camera about a particular subject. It’s because they can captivate an audience by talking about their passions.

Talking about each other’s personal interest on the first few dates is also a great way to get to know each other, and it should help break the ice. It also serves as a way to quickly realize whether you’re a good match, or not. For example, if you have a passion for going to micro-breweries, and the woman you’re on a date with doesn’t drink at all, that’s a big sign that you’re not meant to be together. Because you didn’t check first if she drinks or not!

Generosity 

If you are successful, you will want to avoid gold diggers who only want you for your money, but every relationship has a certain level of gift-giving that should go both ways. It’s important to be wise with your money and know how to save for the future, but no one wants to date Ebenezer Scrooge, either. If you’re selfish with your money every day, that’s a red flag that you will selfish in other aspects of a relationship, as well.

Women pay attention when a man gives a good tip at a bar or restaurant, and what kinds of gifts he gives during the holidays to his family and friends. Successful women who have their own careers won’t necessarily be looking for a sugar daddy, but receiving presents every once in a while is still a great feeling. What most men don’t realize is that for women, presents aren’t really about the money. It’s about having their man acknowledging her interests, wants, and needs, and responding to that with a gift. If you only buy scented candles and body lotion every Christmas, it may feel like you don’t actually know her well enough to give her what she actually needs.

Dependability

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and women really want a “rock” who can be there when times get tough. Women want to know that they can depend on you when things get tough some day, because it’s not an “if”, it’s a “when”, because life is never perfect. Unfortunately, there are plenty of guys out there who run for the hills the moment something becomes difficult in a relationship. There is no way of knowing how someone will react to a difficult situation until it happens, so dependability is not always easy to spot. In the first few dates, you can prove that you are a dependable person by showing up on time and following through on the promises you make.

Being a flaky person gives the impression that you don’t care about the other person’s time, or that your life is a mess. It may be funny or eye-roll-worthy when you’re still young, but the bad trait becomes very serious once you get married and start having kids that needed to be picked up from daycare. The older you get, the more dependability becomes one of the most important qualities a man can have.

Kindness and Moral Integrity

Contrary to popular belief, women actually do love nice guys. (I know this because I tell them my initials, and women know I didn’t name myself, self awareness about how it sounds when you say “hi I’m BAD, is a conversation starter, but you have already pressed your own rejection button) No one will ever reach the level of kindness and compassion as someone like Mr. Rogers, and that’s not exactly sexy, either. There is a fine balance between being kind and compassionate versus being too much of a pushover and an all people-pleaser.

And Last and certainly not least.

 Showing a sense of kindness to strangers with simple gestures like opening a door for someone, or being polite to restaurant and retail staff can go a long way. If you’re not already doing these things, start trying to incorporate kind gestures into your life. You’ll find that you become a happier person, which is attractive, too. Obviously, having a good moral compass is important as well. Women want to know that you would never steal, cheat, or hurt another person on purpose.

Search properly for you lady!

Finding the right woman for a great relationship isn't easy. How do you discover the "one" for you? Knowing who you are, understanding what you want and searching in the right places are all key factors in finding your Ms. Right.

Start by Living  a full life. Leading an interesting and fulfilling life will make you more attractive to potential mates. After all, would you want to date someone who seemingly has no interests, hobbies or friends? Become a well-rounded person by spending time with friends, pursuing your own interests, and developing new hobbies. That way, when you finally meet the right girl, you'll have plenty to offer her in return.

Be confident in yourself. You can't expect another person to love you until you love yourself. While everyone has their insecurities, letting them get the most of you will only make you unattractive to potential mates. If you find you cannot overcome your insecurities, ask a friend to point out your attributes. If that isn't effective, work on building your confidence with a counselor, therapist or a trusted member of the clergy.

Write in a positivity journal, maybe a blog might be more your style <smirking>  keep track of your accomplishments, compliments people give you and any good thoughts you have about yourself throughout the day. Negative thoughts about yourself may not completely go away, but focusing more on the positives in your life will improve your overall feeling of self-worth.

Encourage yourself. Making positive affirmations each day can help you become self-confident. For a few moments each day, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself something encouraging, whether it's something you believe about yourself or something you would like to believe about yourself. You can even write out your affirmations and place them in accessible locations, like inside your wallet or the welcome page of your mobile phone.
Forgive yourself. Meanwhile, remember that no person is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Be sure and forgive yourself when you demonstrate imperfection.

Avoid desperation. Neediness is a good way to repel romantic partners. And those who are attracted to desperation are probably not the best candidates for a healthy relationship. When you meet a girl, don't immediately drop the rest of your life to be at her every beck and call, and don't bombard her with endless calls and texts.

When you try too hard to find the right girl, you also set your expectations much too high. Live a fulfilling life and don't think so much about how you haven't met your soulmate. Love finds those who are not looking. Determine the qualities you seek. You'll find it's easier to recognize a good potential partner when you meet her if you've already determined the characteristics you seek in a mate. Should she be religious, educated, funny, kind to animals or love kids? By knowing what you're looking for, you'll be better equipped to recognize a good match when you meet her

Decide on your drop-dead deal breakers. Everyone has qualities or behaviors that are deal breakers when it comes to relationships, whether they realize it or not. Spend some time thinking about characteristics that you absolutely do not want in your ideal partner. For many, dishonesty is a deal breaker, while others may be opposed to cruelty, prejudice, substance abuse or lack of ambition. Knowing your deal breakers is just as important in determining compatibility as knowing what attracts you, and can save you a lot of wasted time and effort in a dead-end relationship.

Remain flexible. Just because you've decided what qualities attract you, that doesn't mean your ideal mate will possess every one of them. In fact, people are often surprised to find love where they least expect it. Think of your attractions as a guideline, not a strict rule.
Don't judge a book by its cover. Looking for a mate with a particular physique, hair color or facial features is one of the quickest ways to find Ms. Wrong. Even the best looks fade over time, and while chemistry is important, if you have only physical chemistry in common, your relationship is doomed from the start.

Aren't  we doing this too soon?

Final thoughts

Search in the right places. While you should maximize your opportunities of meeting 
new women, don't waste your time meeting them in places that are of no interest to you. 
If you aren't religious, you may not want to meet women at a church, and if excessive
 drinking is a deal breaker for you, you probably don't want to look for a potential partner 
at a bar. Likewise, visit places that are of interest to you. Are you a sci-fi geek? 
Why not meet women at a bookstore or a Library. Or perhaps you are a lover of the arts. 
How about seeking a potential mate in an art class or at a museum?

Demonstrate tenacity. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Just because you didn't 
meet your ideal women on one online dating website, blind date or dance class, 
that doesn't mean she won't be waiting for you at the next one. Don't give up on one 
way of meeting women just because it wasn't successful the first time or two. The world 
is full of people, and finding the right partner is very much a numbers game in which 
you'll often meet a lot of Ms. Wrongs before you find Ms. Right.

Keep it casual. Drinks are fine for a first date, and asking her on a quick outing will 
place less pressure on the situation. You definitely don't want to sit through a 
seven-course meal with someone you’ve only just met, especially if it's obvious 
the chemistry isn't there by the time the entrees appear. Choose a familiar setting 
for maximum comfort, and a place that’s convenient for both of you to get to.

Learn about each other through small talk. Because you probably know little 
about the person, you should casually search for common ground. Remember to 
be your own person. Don't pretend you love a certain food or that you know 
everything about a movie you've never seen just to impress your date.

Say what you mean, mean what you say.