1/27/2014

I am not a Super hero


 



there was a time when I thought I could be a super hero to a woman. She would come to me for all that she needed. As time passed I realized that this was not possible. when a man, like me, feels he can find answers to most problems, he is most motivated when others need him.
As a youngster I loved superhero stories. I loved to watch superman on TV, I read the comic books. I love to watch action movies because I can imagine myself in the place of the heroes. Through their stories I can have great adventures and do mighty deeds. It was fun, but it  is, of course , all imaginary. When a man grows up and starts growing older he realizes that image he has projected over years and years is becoming less and less possible. Now here is the wonderful part. when a man reads an adventure story or see a movie, in his imagination he puts himself in the place of the hero and pretend that he can do the things that he can do.  there is a something that someone once told me: "The Me I see, is the me I will be!" A few years ago I was in  a situation while I was married and a woman and I became friends, she was very unhappy in her marriage, we worked for the same company. She often came to me and asked me questions  about the relationship she had with her husband, because she saw me as a guy who always had answers to what she was experiencing in her marriage. So I was her office husband.What I later realized was that her attraction to my problem solving abilities become a real attraction. We had a relationship for many years.... I will not state what kind of relationship, but I think you can guess. she still had that delusional image of me not too long ago. We are now older and both of us are divorce but she is living with a guy, who idealized her from when they were in school, yet when she found me on Facebook, she became infatuated  again. because she saw me as this more mature  guy who was still the same as she remembered.  I told her that I was a dream she had when she was younger and I was never that superhero... I just was able to help her when she need someone who could do thing that her husband was not doing and was not willing to do. She had  the best of both worlds a husband who was there but was not her ideal husband and she had me on the outside and I fulfilled her fantasies, so why not have both.     

 




I am still the kind of man who is good at solving problems. But my muscles are losing strength,  Yes I can still pick up a woman when she is down but I'm not a Super hero who fixes all that she needs I can try but I come with a disclaimer these days: " don't expect a superman with an "S" on my chess." I am  less like that guy now that I know that the possibilities of resources stretching further  than they could when I had resources that did seem like they were enough a few years ago.



I still wear a suit well, but the younger than my age face  features I had is no longer. So this is  making less  easy to play the part of a super hero. My only reminder  of what I am cable of.. is my history that doing smart things and making less mistakes  is the best way to go.

 

1/21/2014

In relationships... The basics should never be taken for granted or skipped.


 
 Put  the camera and  the phone down: Women aren’t as keen on your 'sexting' as you think they are, this is  not just because I’m old school but I think young fellas want to take short-cuts in every area these days.
A majority of women I've talked to  admitted to engaging in consensual sexting even though they weren’t feeling it. Their justification: wanting to fulfill their partner’s needs and be flirtatious. So you are not making her feel you in the right way!.
Unless you’re in a long-distance relationship—a situation that necessitates a little digital foreplay—you’re better off leaving the crotch-shots to the..... Anthony Wieners of the world.

Instead, consider these 10 ways to keep things hot—without resorting to your iPhone usage.

1.     For one week, agree that one of you can grab the other at any time for sex, and the grab-ee has to go along with it. Not only will it make sex more exciting, you’ll become more aware of your partner’s desires—the when, where, and how of her sexual inclinations.

2.     Start out with notes: tame and complimentary at first—“I can’t get over how stunning you look in the morning”—and amp up the heat with each note. Cap off your paper trail with a message in her purse explaining exactly what you’ll do to her when she gets home from work.

3.     Agree to engage in 20 minutes of foreplay every day for a week, with the only rule being that you can’t have sex. People want what they can’t have. So making intercourse off-limits will crank up the desire. If you break the rule, well that’s not really a loss, is it?

4.     For 1 month, agree to test out at least one new sex position each week. The twist: Use your imagination—not the Internet—to discover new ways to utilize your flexibility. “Since your brain is one big muscle, exercising it regularly with new techniques will keep it healthy and strong,

5.     Role playing can help your partner feel free under the covers, because she can put herself in a different mindset.  If you’re just starting out, arrange to bump into each other at a bar outfitted in ways you wouldn’t normally dress, OK, fellahs do a whole  lots of pushups and then wear shirt open to the last button  with a muscle shirt under it. This will make her picture you without a shirt on, with a barrel chest will her turn on. Ladies remember that dress that is just the tease. Show enough inner thigh to drive him crazy, Cross your legs first left to right, then right to left. Over and over. 

6.     Deep, tender, passionate kissing is one of the first things that couples abandon—but it’s one of the best ways to make her hot  Grab her in the kitchen while you’re preparing dinner, or the moment she walks in from work. She’ll probably be expecting a peck, but she’ll be pleasantly surprised when you don’t let her go after the initial lip lock. The K.I.S.S is still the basic move that still works.

7.     Shower play: Having a loved one lather you up is not only erotic, it taps into deep-seated sensations of being cared for, . Soap her up, shampoo her hair, and run your hands all over her body. By the time you’ve finished rinsing off the suds, both of you will be ready to take it to the bedroom.

8.     “Sometimes it’s the little things that leave the biggest impression on your lady. Slip something fun into her lingerie drawer—a few new pairs of sexy underwear or a couples sex toy she’s wanted to test out. “You’ll be surprised how quickly she’ll want to pay back your thoughtfulness—in other ways.

9.       Caressing her body may be among the fastest ways to turn her on, but long-term couples tend to skip directly to their tried-and-true grope. Mix it up by slowing things down. Before you kiss her, gently caress her cheeks, ears, and temples with the pads of your fingers. Or instead of going straight for her clitoris during oral sex, warm her up by slowly by kissing and licking little sections of her inner thighs.

10.   Messages are always useful when she claims she has a headache, Start at the top….. temple rubs, then shoulder rubs, Neck and  Back massages, followed by a  butt massage and then the back of the thigh massages , followed by calf and then feet massages. If she still says “NO” start over from the bottom up.

1/20/2014

"She is Amazing" at first sight!



I remember  seeing a space-shuttle launch at Cape Canaveral in person once, that  was "Amazing", the power of the launch. The way it blast off into space. the  power and grace in the way it left Earth and headed into space. My thought was "Wow, that was Amazing!"

I now have the same type of reaction when I see an "Amazingly good looking woman" for the first time. 'OMG, She is simply Amazing!'

My logical mind tells me that "Amazing" is  a feeling you  experience when  you see something that cause that euphoric feeling the first time you see it. This is why traditional brides wear a veil, so that when the groom removes the veil he sees her beauty for the first time,  that day. I don't think that its the same way I see a woman that 've been dating for a while. I may be amazed at her dazzling smile, Amazed that she has a great figure 8 body, Amazed that she has a sexy walk, Amazed that she remembers my name, after exchange "hello, my name is". Amazed that she even response to me at all . Amazed that after having Amazing sex she wants to continue having a relationship with me, knowing that in time the feeling and excitement will change. Where am I going with this? Amazement is a temporary feeling, It is up there with Shock, and being scared  that you wet your pants, fear beyond your imagination... etc. LOL. Or a extremely happy moment when You've learned that you won the Powerball lottery for hundreds of Millions of dollars. Let me continue to illustrate. A movie may have been  "Amazing" if it scared me out of my mind, Or the action  and special affects was just mind blowing. But if I see it again, I know what's coming so I'm prepared  for it. So I'm no longer 'Amazed.' The song By Bruno Mars " You're Amazing, just the way you are". makes me realize that women want to have that effect of "wow," over and over again on all men, on her man every time he see her. Let me repeat "every time he sees her? that is dating once every few weeks, and she changes her hair or something, not if you are  living together, not in a forever after relationship. This  is why Facebook is so popular, we see a new amazing pic of a person, it's picture image of the person at their very best and you are : "Amazed" and feel to yourself 'look at what I've been missing!'

 You might be Amazed that she lost so much weight or gained soooo much weight. Or you are like me a big fan of women who are professional dancers and have Amazing body shapes. so your reaction to weight changes might be in 'total amazement' that she changed soooo much, since you last saw her.

In the  song, Bruno Mars is telling a woman not to change a thing," you are perfect." Women Love hearing they are Amazing, perfect, sexy, outstanding, the ultimate soul mate. Maybe even the ultimate everything you dreamed about last night. However I could not imagine, having that feeling  all the time about someone, when I see her `first thing in the morning before she does all her magic in front of the  bathroom mirror, and still  feel that same way day after day, day after day, morning after morning, weekend after weekend . If she makes you feel like that,  then she is an illusion or you have lost your mind.  she becomes a  movie that never changes, trust me,  she will always  change , she can't   remain flawless, through the ages, a never  changing experience has never happened, that is what life is all about, 'Change is always happening.' Wow.... what an illusion, to think that she  will never change. My ex-wife told me just before our divorce: " You are no longer the guy I fell head over heels in love with 20+ years ago" What I came away with, after that statement, is that the magic is gone because she was delusional that I was ever that near perfect guy she was able to convince herself I once was, who married her, and was committed to lifetime of wedded bliss the moment we got married, that blissful feeling disappears over time, thank goodness. Just picture walking around with a silly grin on your face all the time, because you feel so in-Love, forever.  Then she changes OVER NIGHT  and  ask you for divorce, for reasons you can't really understand. what happened to vows to stay together 'for richer for poorer in sickness and in health.' I guess those vows were only applicable back in the day of Moses.. then people changed and they can't stick to the pledge they took. What an Amazing shock! Hell I would not want to feel that overwhelmed, again. Those rose tinted glass never get dirty?   they get muddy, after they were dropped in the mud a few times, or foggy. I digress.  This  is why books, that are written with only word without pictures are still being sold, it allows you to imaging and picture the action and the people in your mind. Halle Berry is still beautiful, As is Diane Carroll, a side by side of these women of when you first saw them and the here and now look , shows that they have "Amazing genes" where the Gods have put a perfect formula together, their parents Grand parents etc. to make this amazing Person. the ultimate real compliment a man or  woman can receive is "You are Amazing, and time has not changed you very much!" be satisfied with that!

Let us stop fooling women into believing that you want them to not  ever, ever change!  

That would be "Amazing."  Women that will never CHANGE, are not women! She is  colorful works of art at times and can be  plain with no makeup the next minute you see her. Thank goodness for CHANGES!

1/14/2014

Have you ever been the third wheel on Date night!


 

From a guy's perspective it can be the worst date night ever. When your boy tells you his date has a girlfriend, for you  to hang with. You should think Oooh No, Oooh, No.  You are town for a few days....He is covered, because he has a girl, but you may not like her friend or her friend  may  not show up  because she checked you out from inside her apartment  through the window and thought "Hell NO. He is not my type."  Or your boy's girl might figure she can handle hanging with both of you. You can only dream... that she might be into you too! Not likely to happen unless she is really into your type... Women who have man, are seldom will to risk blowing a good relationship for a "maybe. "

The most frustrating thing for a guy is if your boy's girl does manage to bring one of her girl friend along for you to hang with  and  she sits and looks over her shoulder all night to see if Morris Chestnut, Denzel Washington  type will be walking through the door.
 
 


 
 
 
 
But if the situations is reversed your girl invites her girl friend to be the third wheel... and hang with both of you. Now this is  so different... her girl  friend might be  hot and she never has a problem being the third wheel because if you are going to a club she will not be alone for long. She knows that if her girl is not too jealous she  would  share you on the dance floor until the dude at the end of bar sipping his drink slowly figures out she is the third wheel and comes up to her and asks her to dance.  Great! Now You only have to buy drinks for your lady and yourself  from that point on. 
 
 
 
The third wheel has found Mr. Right for the night. Even if he is just a smooth operator and may never call her after tonight. she will have fun and will not have to rely on you and your date to keep her entertained.  This is a win, win. checkout her body language! her eyes are saying :  "Come yea hither"
 
 
 
 
OK I'll be fair here; women sometimes get the short end of stick and get stuck with a Chump who has no idea that this is the 21st century. And Shows up with long stem fake roses and and box shaped like a heart with cheap chocolate. DUDE which self- help- book did your read?
 
 
 
 
We all think we date with a purpose..... the purpose should be a process of elimination. If you are dating to have an instant relationship you both might be disappointed before the end of the date.

After the first moments of pleasantries, you have nothing else to talk about so the evening is shot! 
"Shall we call it a night? This isn't working!"
The key making it work is to be different from who is typical
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 

1/10/2014

Spanish is such a Romantic Language...

I took the time to read two poems. Since I read and understand Spanish, I translated them to make my point that no wonder the Latino culture is making the USA more romantic......  


Defining Love
Is burning ice is frozen fire,
its a wound that hurts and does not feel,
It is a good dream, a bad present,
It is a brief break so tired.

It's an oversight that we have carefully
called a coward..... brave,
a solitary walk among the people,
one loves only to be loved.


It is an imprisoned freedom
paroxysm lasting until last;
growing disease if cured.

This is the love child, this is your abyss:
friendship which will look anything
which is all the opposite of itself.
the Spanish version:

 
Definiendo el Amor
Es hielo abrasador, es fuego helado,
es herida que duele y no se siente,
es un soƱado bien, un mal presente,
es un breve descanso muy cansado.
Es un descuido que nos ha cuidado,
un cobarde con nombre de valiente,
un andar solitario entre la gente,
un amar solamente ser amado.
Es una libertad encarcelada,
que dura hasta el postrero parasismo,
enfermedad que crece si es curada.
Esta es el niƱo Amor, Ʃste es tu abismo:
mirad cual amistad tendrĆ” con nada
el que en todo es contrario de sĆ­ mismo.

 This is the other poem. 

Do not ask me if I love you,
because that question offends me,
if you could put coin on coin
to make a tower of all the "I'm sorry,"
believe me it will reach  heaven.


I love you woman
I love your story,
Love your life,
your love and peace,
I like to see you even sneeze I will make a
habit of touching your hair,

your nervousness when I kiss your neck.
While you're away,
I'm in here growing and growing
It sometimes scares me to think
where I'm going to put so much love,
when It no longer fits in my chest.

No matter if you move to another galaxy,
you're always here,
and needless to say I live in a world within you.
Here you go for now...,
Any more questions ?
 
the Spanish version:


No me preguntes si te amo,
porque esa pregunta me ofende,
si pudiera colocar moneda sobre moneda
para hacer una torre de todo lo que siento,
crƩeme llegarƭa hasta el cielo.

Te amo mujer,
amo tu historia,
amo tu vida,
y amo tu paz,
inclusive me gusta verte estornudar,
tu manĆ­a de tocarte el cabello,
tu nerviosismo cuando beso tu cuello.

A pesar de que estƩs lejos,
lo que siento aquĆ­ dentro crece y crece,
que a veces me asusta el pensar
donde voy a poner tanto amor,
cuando ya no me quepa en el pecho.

No importa que te mudes a otra galaxia,
tu siempre estas aquĆ­,
y sobra decir que yo vivo en un mundo dentro de ti.
Porque por mƔs lejos que estƩs,
por mƔs preguntas que hagas,

1/09/2014

Make every relationship special!


Wondering why she’s keeping extra-close tabs on you?
Protective behavior could signal suspicion!
People who believed their partners  are tempted to stray used “mate guarding” behaviors—like wanting to spend more time together, or being overly inquisitive about plans—to protect their relationship.

Surprisingly, the tactics paids off, prompting the significant others to feel more committed to the relationship. The reason: You often interpret your partner’s jealous behavior as a sign she cares about you.
But don’t let it get out of hand. While a little bit of protectiveness may boost your male ego, excessive guarding could mean trouble. For example, if your girlfriend wants to spend more time together, it’s normal—but if she searches through your cell phone like she’s an NSA agent, that’s crossing the line.

Think she’s going overboard? Silence her worries by being straight with her: Discuss exactly where your relationship stands. Pick a time and place with as few distractions as possible, and begin the conversation by telling her how much you care about her—but admit you sense something is off.

If she’s afraid you want to cheat, it might mean she’s insecure about some aspect of your relationship—and that you probably haven’t discussed it. Ask her: Is she happy? Are her needs not being met? Is there something you can do to help?

Don't fall for that age old trick, where she tells you her place is a terrible place and not fit to live in,  and let her move in with you too fast!

This is tricky. If you’re young and you just met her, you might wait 18 months. But if you’ve known her for years and everything is perfect, 6 months might be fine.  but if you are  mature and lonely, you might agree to let her move in before your really get to know her. It’s all good that you like her and the chemistry is there, but you need to really know this woman. How are her friends and family? How does she spend her money? Where does she see herself in 10 years? Start these conversations before you ask her to live with you, because removing her name from the lease isn’t so easy... Or  worse yet she might think your house will hers....and if you have other plans for your house she might freak out. Just because she assumed that what is yours is now hers. So telling her your kids owns the house already can be a trip down the avenue you may not be ready for. Paint her a new picture of a villa on the beach that you both can enjoy. vacationing in Caribbean can be just what the doctor would prescribe. This is the Love Doctor anti-anxiety advise.