Breakup, Without remorse.

 

we are trying to talk through  the issues, do you agree to talk.

If there is a topic of conversation that stresses couples out, "the future" is it. You guys can talk about anything — food, religion, anything. But drop words like "babies" or "marriage" into the mix, and suddenly the stress sets in. It's almost like there is no way to talk about the future in a laid-back way. It's either 100 percent avoided, or grounds for a heated, dreaded debate.

While it's not ideal, it does make total sense why this happens. Such topics obviously require a lot of thought, and to have two people on the exact same page can be pretty tricky. This is especially the case if you're in a new relationship, and haven't yet reached a stage where you're both ready to chat about the bigger things in life.

But even if you have, talking about the future can dredge up some underlying issues. "Many times, couples already know that their goals for the future are not aligned with their partner's goals," As a result, they avoid the conversation about the future altogether." It feels like the best option to avoid a breakup.

And yet, talking about the future is still so important. Maybe you don't have to corner each other and have a heavy debate, but you still should make such chats a priority. Below are some ways to go about it in a laid-back way, so neither of you have to lose any sleep.

1. Allow Scary Future Talk To Happen Naturally

The last thing you want to do is force a heavy conversation with your partner. So don't set a date on the calendar, or awkwardly pull up a chair to have a chat. "Instead, let it happen naturally," suggested an article on eHarmony.com. "The more seamlessly you can allow information to simply emerge as part of your normal conversation, the less pressure your partner will feel."

2. Don't Look At Your Relationship As "All Or Nothing"

Talking about the future can be scary, because what if you two don't share the same goals? While this can sometimes be a deal breaker, it doesn't have to be and shouldn't prevent you from bringing up the subject. As Chronister says, "Avoid all or nothing thinking — there is likely a middle ground when it comes to negotiating the future."

3. Only Refer To Your Hypothetical Spouse

what did you mean by that?

If you want to avoid freaking each other out when talking about the future, then don't refer to each other as your husband or wife. In fact, don't even hint at it. Keep all conversations about your future partner purely hypothetical, When the time is right, you'll both start naturally filling that role for each other — no pressure needed.

4. Keep The Conversation Light

Again, if you want to keep this conversation laid-back, then avoid heavy topics at all costs. "It’s not that the discussion has to remain ultra light, but especially if it’s early in the relationship, you may not want to say, 'We need to have a serious talk about how we’re going to save for our retirement,'" noted eHarmony.com. Instead, try bringing up smaller money issues, and build the conversation from there.

Write Down Your Goals Together

"If your partner isn't a fan of your vision for the future, write down options together of what your goals as a couple may look like," Chronister suggests. Not only will this help you both see things clearly, but it can make moving forward with deeper conversations feel much easier.

are these the goals that he wrote?

Final thought

To make a compromise with someone. meet halfway. make concessions. come to terms. we are living a era where there are many shades of grey in love relationships.

I thought he was the right man, he was initially and in the end not so much.

what is a man to do when relationships hit a snag

Why Most Women Don’t Find A True Gentleman It is simply because of lack of mutual Respect

 Do you know how to tell if someone respects you in a love relationship? Respect is defined as “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”

People with qualities that are “good, valuable, or important” is another way of describing respect.

Respecting someone’s humanity is perhaps the best kind of respect we can give (and receive.) How much more, then, should we respect someone who has given us their heart? their all.

Regarding respect and relationships, it isn’t possible to have one without the other. The two qualities are mutually inclusive in every healthy relationship, i.e. absent in toxic behaviors

I'm ready to show you why you should always respect me!

the man of high value respects your time 

and how you spend it

Another sign of a healthy relationship is regard for each other’s time – no matter if it’s time spent together or apart. Concerning the former, a respectful man is reliable when it comes to yours (and others) time. He is rarely late; when he is, he has a good explanation. When you need some time, for whatever reason, he is considerate and respectful.

(Note: spending over an hour in the bathroom may be an exception to this rule.) A smart man should always have a 2nd bathroom to go to. 

 The  man  of high value  doesn’t 

get too jealous

He’s devoted himself to you and should be  confident in your devotion to him. As such, a man who respects you doesn’t get too jealous. This quality also speaks to the man’s self-confidence – something (sadly) that is absent in too many insecure people. Commenting  on Brad Pitt’s abs to put him down is disrespectful, ladies!

Another sign of a healthy relationship is regard for each other’s time – no matter if it’s time spent together or apart. Concerning the former, a respectful man is reliable when it comes to yours (and others) time. He is rarely late; when he is, he has a good explanation. When you need some time, for whatever reason, he is considerate and respectful.

(Note: spending over an hour in the bathroom may be an exception to this rule.) a smart man will away facilitate a 2nd bathroom.

A man of high value doesn’t try to control you, 

but he should prevent you from doing dumb things

Controlling behavior reeks of insecurity and, of course, disrespect. As mentioned, thoughtful men are neither of these things. A respectful man who loves you wouldn’t even contemplate taking any action that could be considered controlling. Enough said, so if you are out of control like a speeding car heading for a cliff, should he let you just go over, or stop you?

 Your opinions are taken seriously

Opinions are a matter of individual perspective, and should always be respected. A respectful man actively listens and responds to your opinion. Moreover, the man is interested in what you have to say, regardless of whether he agrees or disagrees. Enough said!

 The  man  of high value  doesn’t escalate disagreements

At the risk of sounding overtly obvious, every relationship has disagreements and arguments (reverse that  order) One sign of a high value man is respect – and he’s never inclined to intensify any disagreement or argument. He appreciates and respects the differences just as he does the similarities. Aside from demonstrating his respect, the ability to “agree to disagree” shows his strength of character.

 The  man  of high value  spends a good amount 

of time with you.

A man who respects you willingly allocates a good amount of time making sure you’re happy. If you enjoy certain activities, he knows it and will go out of his way to make it happen. Even if he’s busy, a respectful man will sacrifice time he could spend elsewhere – at work, hanging out with friends, etc. – for you to know that you’re a priority. ( but he should be allowed his alone time.)

Final thoughts

KISS - Keep It Simple Silly.

A high valued  man who respects you willingly allocates a good amount of time, to keep value as a top priority. If you enjoy certain activities, he knows it and will go out of his way to make it happen. Even if he’s busy, a respectful man will sacrifice time he could spend elsewhere – at work, hanging out with his friends, etc. – for you to know that you’re a top priority. He even sends you notes during the day.

Married people should keep their lives a bit of a secret

 Some things that happen in a marriage should stay in the marriage.( I know it's harder than ever in this social Media world) In other words, other people don’t need to be privy to the details. Sure, it can be tempting to tell your friends everything that happens in your marriage; however, sharing the secrets of your marriage can cause undue stress. It can even put an unhealthy strain on your marriage. Relationship experts have comprised a list of “secrets” in your marriage. These are things that should always stay between you and your spouse.

Private Photos

This one should be pretty self-explanatory, but some people don’t realize that revealing photos should never be shared outside your marriage. Even if you think your spouse looks really good in the sexy selfies that they send you, you definitely shouldn’t be showing them to other people. There should be certain boundaries that you have with your spouse, as well as with other people. Secrets that should be kept between you and your spouse include anything that has to do with their body, especially on an intimate level.

 Money problems

Nothing can put pressure on a marriage faster than money problems. Most people don’t want to admit that they’re having money problems. Even though it might be tempting to complain about financial issues to your friends, try to keep such matters to yourself. You and your spouse can work out a financial plan without having other people inject their opinions on your financial situation. While you might want to vent to your friends about money problems, this can cause more issues than it solves. Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., says that talking to your spouse about money issues is the best way to release related tensions. Set aside “neutral time” to talk about money problems, rather than setting aside “friend time” and discussing something that should remain confidential in your marriage.

 Details of arguments

Arguments and disagreements are entirely normal in a relationship. You’ll likely agree that sometimes the arguments aren’t even worth the breath we use to fight them. But, that’s just life! The important part is knowing how to compromise and work through a disagreement. Once the fight is over, there’s no reason to drag it back to the surface. That includes talking about the argument with your friends and family and hashing out the details of the disagreement. Not only will it probably upset you all over again, but if your partner isn’t there to put up any sort of defense, you could be giving the wrong perception of your spouse to friends and family.

 Your sex life

Television and movies make it seem like everyone talks about their sex life with their friends. The truth is, this is a marriage secret that should definitely be kept between you and your spouse. Again, this is an issue of boundaries. You want to make sure your spouse feels safe sharing all levels of intimacy with you. You never know if the things you tell your friends will get back around to your spouse. If so, this can cause a lot more issues than you might have anticipated. Don’t give in to the temptation to complain or brag about your sex life to your friends. If you and your spouse are facing issues in your sex life, Laurie Wilson, a certified sex therapist, suggests seeing a counselor for help. Sex therapy can be especially helpful, as it is a form of talk therapy that can help couples navigate problems in their sex lives.

What your partner really thinks of them

If you’re in a relationship that your family might not approved of, there’s no reason to fuel the fire by sharing how your spouse really feels about them. The same goes for your friends. In a perfect world, everyone would get along with your spouse. But with different personalities clashing from time to time, it’s just not realistic that everyone will “just get along.” If your partner and one of your friends generally don’t see eye to eye, you probably don’t want to tell your friend what your partner said in confidence about them. The same also goes for keeping quiet about what your friends and family think of them. There’s only going to be unnecessary drama when that happens.

Final thoughts

Secrets aren’t always a bad thing( except if your keeping them from each other)

. Keeping them between yourself and your partner can ensure that the relationship doesn’t face any more outside stress factors than will naturally arise in any committed relationship. Your friends and family don’t have to know every detail of your marriage. Some things are better left unsaid!

Tall men with shorter women are a thing.

“If you're ever in trouble; I'll be there on the double"

Researcher have found that short women pair best with tall men. Of course, height isn’t everything – it takes a lot more than physical attraction to ensure a couple’s success. The happiest couples have open communication, patience, understanding, and most of all, trust. However, those elements unfold over time as the couple gets to know one another. It’s true that when people first meet, they’re making tons of snap judgments about each others’ appearance. Physical attraction plays a huge part in the beginning stages of a relationship. After all, a man and woman won’t even think about taking it further if they don’t feel that spark initially. With that said, the research team discovered that short women feel happiest when paired with tall men. Apparently, the greater the size difference, the better. Evolutionary factors probably play a significant part in a woman’s decision to choose a taller mate.

I’ll delved a bit deeper into the study below and find out why height matters so much in relationships.

Couples admit that it’s no surprise that short women go for taller men. However, no studies have investigated whether this height difference contributes to a woman’s happiness before this one.

For the study, researchers data from 7850 participants in the Indonesian population. After pouring over the data, the team concluded that women felt happiest with taller men. The more significant the height difference, the more satisfied the woman felt in the relationship. However, this honeymoon phase eventually faded as time went on.

You know we are an odd couple in everyone's eyes

Researchers found that after 18 years of marriage, a man’s height did not affect the woman’s happiness. The husband’s resourcefulness played a minor role in the success of the relationship.

So, the research team concluded that the husband’s height influenced the woman’s happiness in the beginning. Over time, however, this source of joy dissipated as other factors came into play in the relationship.

The researchers said this: “Nevertheless, the long period of the dissipation indicates a powerful impact of male height on women’s psychology, probably prepared by evolution.”

Science Direct published the study.

Short Women Have Preferred Taller Men Throughout History.

Even in modern times, evolution still plays a massive role in our choice of partners. Short women prefer tall men because they associate height with security and health. A man of large stature will appear more dominant, making him an attractive mate for a woman. Since women prioritize keeping their family safe from predators, they naturally want to choose the strongest male possible.

In modern times, this still holds true, though not for the same reasons. We’re not running from bears or tigers anymore, but we still crave security and safety. Arguably, many more threats exist in our constructed environment; however, they don’t pose an immediate danger like wild animals. However, in 3.4% of couples, the men and women were the same height. In 4.1% of the couples surveyed, the woman stood taller than the man.

A 2009 survey in the United States revealed similar findings. The Panel Study of Income Dynamics by the University of Michigan surveyed over 5,000 families. The survey found that 92.2% of men stood taller than their partners. Of course, having a height difference in a relationship doesn’t guarantee the couple will stay together. Interestingly, a study published in the National Bureau of Economic Research in August 2014 discovered that shorter men get fewer divorces than tall men. There’s probably an evolutionary reason for that, though the study didn’t specify.

Overall, it’s essential to take these findings with a grain of salt. Obviously, you should value your partner for much more than just their height or other physical attributes. As the first study found, height won’t matter much after a couple of decades of marriage. Any happiness you derive from finding a tall mate will wane as you settle into the relationship.

You know I'm French and you are not so we will not stay together for long.

Therefore, to any woman looking for love, try to focus mainly on chemistry and compatibility. Choose a partner you can picture yourself happily growing old with (and that has nothing to do with height!)

Final Thoughts on a Study Explaining Why Short Women Prefer Tall Men

From an evolutionary standpoint, it’s not too surprising that short women 

go for tall men. As I said before, taller men have the advantage 

of protecting their families and providing security. 

Of course, women will value these attributes in a survival situation. 

In the modern world, tallness translates to more excellent financial stability 

and dominance, both important to most women.

Study Reveals How Short Women With Tall Men Make Happy Couples

show respect from the very start

Couples that have been married for a while love to tell their story. They talk about how they met and the moment they knew they’d found the one for them. There is always a moment when you realize they are the person for you, but not everyone recognizes the subtle signs.

There typically isn’t just one sign, either. In most relationships, many small moments lead up to the big event. When you recognize the signs, you can bask in them and start thinking about where your relationship is heading.

Not all married couples are specific when they tell their story. Some might say there wasn’t a particular moment when they knew, but there were likely still signs along the way. There are good qualities that help you recognize that your true love.

These subtle signs can help you know when to take your connection to the next level if you are in a relationship. However, these tips can even help anyone in a relationship because they’ll know what to look for. As you look for these subtle signs, you should note when they’re missing in your relationships.

 If you want a solid romantic relationship built on mutual respect, you should be willing to put some work into it. One partner cannot make all the effort, as it takes both people to get things to a good place. However, when you are striving to make things better, you can have the relationship you desire.

It’s possible to turn your entire relationship around in just a few days. Experts say that you’ll subconsciously begin doing these sweet tasks when you make a practice of them in as little as a few weeks. Here are some things that can help you to build mutual respect in your relationship.

 Celebrate Milestones

What would life be without a celebrations from time to time? If your partner gets a promotion at work, you should celebrate. If you pay off a significant bill, then it’s a cause for celebration too.

When you learn to take time out from your day to celebrate these milestones, it feels good and allows you to develop a deeper relationship. So why not have a nice dinner and time away from the daily grind with the one you love? These happy occasions help sustain you when things aren’t so good.

Build Admiration for One Another

Think of respect as a two-way street where you have the traffic coming and going. If one partner has all the respect and admiration, but the other one doesn’t, then it’s never going to work. The opposite of respect is rejection, and you won’t show your partner how much they mean to you when you’re disrespectful.

Take an Evening Walk Together

Something is refreshing about taking a walk together in the cool of the evening. Walking together and talking about your day, goals, and life, in general, helps your relationship. You develop mutual respect when you’re both sharing conversation and feeling the comfort of one another’s intimacy.

Talk Each Other’s Love Language

Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages turned the romantic world on its head. Each person has a way they show and receive love. For some, it’s words of affirmation that mean so much, while others need acts of service or quality time.

Take time exploring your love language and your partners. It will open a whole new level to your relationship where mutual respect comes easily.

Communicating Without Restrictions

Communication is vital in any relationship. However, there should be no limitations on what you communicate about. You must be able to talk openly and freely about anything and everything.

 Always Say, “I Love You.” and mean it.

These three little words have such a powerful meaning. You should never forget to tell the one you love how much they mean to you, and you need to work it into your day at least once.

Some people overuse these words, and it loses their luster. However, before you hang up the phone, go to sleep, or leave for work, it should be the first thing that rolls off your tongue. Do you know how many people wish they had the chance to tell their spouse one more time how much they meant to them?

Appreciating One Another

Do you appreciate the things that your partner does for you? Also, do they understand you? When you respect one another, you learn to appreciate all those things they do, say, and are to you.

Final thoughts

here is what former couple miss, they think that being in a time out is meant to punish the other person. when you get divorced, it's really the end equivalent to death did you part.  Everyone needs alone time, even when they are in a happy and healthy relationship. You don’t have to spend every moment together, and it’s not healthy if you do. It’s a good sign of a strong connection if you recognize when your special person needs to be left alone.