Breakup, Without remorse.

 

we are trying to talk through  the issues, do you agree to talk.

If there is a topic of conversation that stresses couples out, "the future" is it. You guys can talk about anything — food, religion, anything. But drop words like "babies" or "marriage" into the mix, and suddenly the stress sets in. It's almost like there is no way to talk about the future in a laid-back way. It's either 100 percent avoided, or grounds for a heated, dreaded debate.

While it's not ideal, it does make total sense why this happens. Such topics obviously require a lot of thought, and to have two people on the exact same page can be pretty tricky. This is especially the case if you're in a new relationship, and haven't yet reached a stage where you're both ready to chat about the bigger things in life.

But even if you have, talking about the future can dredge up some underlying issues. "Many times, couples already know that their goals for the future are not aligned with their partner's goals," As a result, they avoid the conversation about the future altogether." It feels like the best option to avoid a breakup.

And yet, talking about the future is still so important. Maybe you don't have to corner each other and have a heavy debate, but you still should make such chats a priority. Below are some ways to go about it in a laid-back way, so neither of you have to lose any sleep.

1. Allow Scary Future Talk To Happen Naturally

The last thing you want to do is force a heavy conversation with your partner. So don't set a date on the calendar, or awkwardly pull up a chair to have a chat. "Instead, let it happen naturally," suggested an article on eHarmony.com. "The more seamlessly you can allow information to simply emerge as part of your normal conversation, the less pressure your partner will feel."

2. Don't Look At Your Relationship As "All Or Nothing"

Talking about the future can be scary, because what if you two don't share the same goals? While this can sometimes be a deal breaker, it doesn't have to be and shouldn't prevent you from bringing up the subject. As Chronister says, "Avoid all or nothing thinking — there is likely a middle ground when it comes to negotiating the future."

3. Only Refer To Your Hypothetical Spouse

what did you mean by that?

If you want to avoid freaking each other out when talking about the future, then don't refer to each other as your husband or wife. In fact, don't even hint at it. Keep all conversations about your future partner purely hypothetical, When the time is right, you'll both start naturally filling that role for each other — no pressure needed.

4. Keep The Conversation Light

Again, if you want to keep this conversation laid-back, then avoid heavy topics at all costs. "It’s not that the discussion has to remain ultra light, but especially if it’s early in the relationship, you may not want to say, 'We need to have a serious talk about how we’re going to save for our retirement,'" noted eHarmony.com. Instead, try bringing up smaller money issues, and build the conversation from there.

Write Down Your Goals Together

"If your partner isn't a fan of your vision for the future, write down options together of what your goals as a couple may look like," Chronister suggests. Not only will this help you both see things clearly, but it can make moving forward with deeper conversations feel much easier.

are these the goals that he wrote?

Final thought

To make a compromise with someone. meet halfway. make concessions. come to terms. we are living a era where there are many shades of grey in love relationships.

I thought he was the right man, he was initially and in the end not so much.

what is a man to do when relationships hit a snag