No one says: "It's Easy like Monday morning" anymore!

The truth be told nothing is easy like that anymore especially not 'Monday mornings.' Think about it we can't wait for the weekend from the first work day of the week. If you don't have a JOB you hate Mondays even more  because Mondays remind you that you don't have an income for another week and if things don't change you will be feeling the same way next week . So 'easy like Monday morning' is an old saying that no one  says anymore. For every stay- at-home-husband this below is the Female/wife  picture you can only wish for.
 
If you have a girlfriend who will come over and see you after a she had a hard day at work this picture is also what you are hoping for, if you have not cleaned-up (like shaved and cleanup the kitchen) YET. Your comment to her is: "It was all good just a week ago." Are you serious? Finding ways to feel good  these days has become more and more difficult.So pickup the pieces and start mending... You can be very lonely if you blow it any further. Try this line: "I' a man I make mistakes" maybe she will see your potential and hang in there with you a little longer. Avoid becoming' the Man in Crisis.'

When you treat someone well and it comes from the heart, you don’t expect a reward or pat on the back. But what you should expect is not to have your love, your hard earned money, and your time, taken for granted. 

When you know your worth, nothing will make you leave a relationship faster than feeling unappreciated!
~ Michael Baisden

So be the best she has ever had even if you are not feeling like the best at anything right now, i.e. make it mind over matter, performance is 60% mental 40%  physical.

 

Spaeking of flying to Villas in Anguilla.

Ladies, you should Lean IN by leaning forward and make your case..

I often wonder can Men and Women really  just communicate as   friends/co-workers, Boss/employee.. and agree on the female advancement.

 I think we should ask the question.
 Can Women advance in a male dominated World without the help of men? Maybe Mothers can help daughters with out arterial motives...Women are still working to get  Men's approval in almost every area. A K.I.S.S on her cheek can make her day, and make her feel like she is on top of the World. I'm a guy who worked hard to impress my mother, then my aunts, my female cousins, my female boss (when I had one), my girlfriends, my wife (when I was married) and now female friends who call me BAD. They know I'm always working hard to do good things.I never worry about impressing guys, maybe that is because I could never really impress my Dad, who wanted me to be more like him, he wanted me to play baseball (which I hated) He wanted me to become an Architectural professional and build cities,I picked Computer science as a major, He never could understand that his son choose to be typist as he put it....So I did almost everything in my life to impress the women in my life, because my mother supported everything I did and what I wanted out of life.
I've known great mothers over the years... but this next example takes the cake. I heard a mother-in-law pay my good friend the greatest complement the other day. We were at a track and field  meet, his daughter was competing in, and my Buddy's  eldest daughter just ran the 4X100 she ran the second leg superbly and blew the field away  giving her team the lead,and her team mate held  on to win. His Mother- in-law  turned to my friend and said "Thank you for, sharing your great genes with my family, my grand-daughters are just the greatest because of your contribution." This almost made me stand up and applaud. "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!"
Hey, this a mother in-law straight from Heaven. My ex-wife has the same kind of mother, I miss her very much, because  have not seen her in a long while, she often referred to me as her eldest son, not her Son-in-law, I called her "Mom," not just out of respect but because I lost my mom 3 months after her daughter and I got married to cancer, so we developed a close relationship that based on Love..
What am I trying say here. Mothers can make their daughters better partners because of how they approach their relationships with their daughter's partners. A smart woman wrote a book titled "LEAN IN." which is about the need for women to move into leadership roles.

I believe Men should read it to better understand that women of today are not the women of yesterday.

Some women are critical of the book... They are Missing the points that are most important. Here is someone who (with the support of her husband) got the job of a COO with a great Tech company. Her husband told her to not take the first offer she received but  make sure the money was the best compensation she could receive.., Ladies this a good thing. 'Stop hating,' because many of  you don't know how to demand what you want without having a Bitchy attitude. Women should lean in when they have a conversation,  on any level. Lean forward and look him or her in the eye and ask and tell them  what you want. If you do, you will show that you have confidence in your powers, harness that power to advance yourselves.

A Michael Baisden Commentary: Honesty Doesn't Necessarily Equal Integrity

If you want to live a peaceful life be honest in your relationships and have integrity... there's a difference! Honesty is telling someone the truth about who you are and what you want. Integrity is caring about how that truth impacts them.

In other words, if someone wants more out of the relationship than you are able or willing to give, you must care enough to lean IN and speak UP. Just because you told them the truth does not remove you from your responsibility to do the right thing, do the best job possible.. 

Ladies don't make us men wonder what you want.. TEll US. We can't read your minds but we can hear what you are saying, if you say it in a calm voice.. So be firm and state your case.

 

 

Marriage is nothing more than a contract!

With all the talk about gay marriages,              same sex marriages, civil unions ect... We need to ask ourselves... What are we really thinking or objecting to? The fact that two people can agree to be together and share their lives. Handle their bills together, their expenses, plan their futures, share their beliefs, their dreams, Make  financial commitments to each other, contributing to one household, take care of each other when sick and healthy or making a decision on how to handle their estate in death...
All of the above sound like an agreement , a contract, verbal or written it's all the same thing. Manny marriages fail these days because we don't understant what "I do" relly means "I'm commit to you... I swear, so help me God" Ok, thou shall not SWEAR......in God's name! Really?  How often do we break that  commandment. And how many other commandment do we break in our so call committed relationships (so call marriage, where we used lip service before our family and friends) ? For better for worse, in sickness and in health, OK maybe Fiancials should be part of the vows... You should vow to stick with each other no matter who loose his or her job.... take care of each other and share the one plate of food you can now afford. It's not what's yours is our and what's mine is mine.. If you make a commitment to honor and respect, treat fairly and stick it out until the end, then do just that.
Look at any piture of a crowned gathering and see if you can find your ideal partner for life in the crowd. Isn't this what we face when we are looking for that perfect person?
So you think of it as a long term contract to a commitment you are willing to make not just a marriage of perfet times.

Committed relationships aren’t easy. But couple who endure to have happy, healthy, long-term relationships have one thing in common, they…. are friends first and become best friends over a course of time. Isn't this  the way it should be?


Here are a few love quotes that can work  in any Loving relationship (just close your eyes and think about LOVE not benefits:

1. Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear. 

2. Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.

3. Two lives, two hearts joined together in friendship united forever in love.

4. To the world you are one person, but to one person you are the World.

5. Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one.

6. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

7. Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.

8. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop. 

9. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says For the woman I love and the second, For my best friend. 

10. As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . . I will always keep falling in love with you.

We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find. 

So if you are straight or not you can picture the person in your mind you would have no problem saying these things to that person. I know I do.

click on the following  for othe blogs on this subject:

Is it Love. Sign this contract.

Now enjoy some old school sounds on

Joy and Pain, is like Sunshine and Rain!

She says "you are funny," is that a good thing?

Crack her up, an you might bring her home for dinner. Being funny makes you more attractive to women, according to new research in Personality and Individual Differences. The problem is being funny is way easier said than done. While there's research here and there about what kind of jokes kill (dead) with the ladies—one 2011 study found women are most attracted to men who use dry, sarcastic humor—comedy is hardly an exact science. But luckily for you, we turned to real comedians and did the legwork.This why Kevin Hart still lives with his mother... OK I don't know that for sure.. But at 5'2" short, he most likely does because he is not fully grown yet.
Researchers guess that women might seek funny guys for flings because it signals that they’re not serious or willing to invest in a mate,yet according to the study. But many women—regardless if they’re looking for a one-night stand or future husband—appreciate a comedian: In a survey of more than 1,000  women ages 21 to 54, 77 percent of women ranked a sense of humor as their number one must-have in a man, beating out intelligence, passion, confidence, and generosity.

The problem? Being funny is easier said than done. While there’s research here and there about what kind of jokes kill with the ladies—one 2011 study found women are most attracted to men who use dry, sarcastic humor—comedy is hardly an exact science.
So we turned to real comedians for their advice on how to be a funny flirter. Use these words of wisdom to make her laugh so hard that she’ll have no choice but to come back to your place and catch the encore set.

The comedian: Steve Harvey.. Think like man and act like lady!
  My advice: Don't Use the corniest line in the book.
“I know men sometimes don’t believe that intelligent humor is what  impress her on both levels, but trust me: If you want to bag a cool, smart chick, having a sense of humor is an absolute must. And it’s best to lead with it—make her laugh, and you’ve got her attention. Here’s a line I just came up with that would knock my pants off: Walk up to her and say, ‘Excuse me, I know this is weird, but you look exactly like my next girlfriend.’ Really?  I don't recommend the standard, ‘Come here often?’—especially if it’s on the train, the street, or at a funeral. It’s so cheesy that no woman would think you’re using it seriously.”

The comedian:Kevin Hart. Short people see things differently.
My advice: Don’t try so damn hard.
“Try to let your natural wit come out through conversation. Self-deprecation can work well because it diffuses your ego and lets her know you’re self-aware. But don’t go too far—too much can make her think you have zero self-confidence. Joke about what’s happening around you. Is your waiter being too aggressive with the dessert menu? Is there a creepy dude at the end of the bar? Joining forces to make fun of the crazy world around you can be a great way to connect.

The comedian: Rodney Dangerfield. He hates every thing about himself.
My advice: Confidence is key.
“Yes, women like funny guys, but it’s what’s behind the funny that’s so attractive. Guys with a sharp wit and winning sense of humor are usually chock full of confidence as well. There aren’t a lot of funny wallflowers out there. And don’t kid yourself—even the nerdish guys like Woody Allen and Larry David are cocksure. That confidence is what appeals some what to women. Having a guy who can make them laugh is just icing on the cake.”

The comedian:Eddie Murphy, he is just raw.
My advice: No obscure impressions, please.
“I like it when we guys uses self-effacing humor. But if a guy starts crying. Then everyone feels uncomfortable. Please do not do impressions—especially of someone from your third-grade class about whom no one knows a damn thing. If you find yourself start doing impressions, this is the perfect time to excuse yourself to the men's room, giving everyone time to leave.”
Any of the above mentioned comedians can give you examples on how to be funny, however be aware that most woman  have also seen them, so copying can bomb if you forget the punch lines. So be naturally funny if at all possible.

You're way better than a book—now show her.

Guys, according to a survey in the  book 

  'The Normal Bar,' 29 percent of women say it bothers them “a lot” that their partners aren't more romantic. This could be why many girlfriends and even wives flock to the other men in their lives—fictional characters like Mr. Darcy, Dr. McDreamy, and Christian Grey—or any movie Denzel Washington is in,  to get their romance fix.
Women tell the story that it is about these make-believe men that make them swoon, then turned to relationship to see how they can make  us fellahs into  the characters on the pages in the book.

The character: Fitzwilliam Darcy (a.k.a. Mr. Darcy) in Pride and Prejudice
Why she loves him: The leading man in Jane Austen’s classic novel is a giant prick at first, but eventually he does the right thing—saves female protagonist Elizabeth’s family—and keeps it a secret, refusing to be rewarded or applauded. What he does tell Elizabeth is exactly how he feels about her, which women love. There’s a myth that nice guys never come out ahead, but by the end of Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy’s the epitome of a good, old-fashioned nice guy—and he gets the girl.
How to be more like him ( don't ask me I have not read the book): However having read the above I summarize the following: Some things, like moral decency, never go out of style, Morality is “ingrained in the definition of romantic love ever since Plato defined Eros as a love of goodness.” To be more like Darcy, be generous, honest, and fair—not to impress your woman, but for the sake of being good. In other words, don’t point out every time you do the dishes or fold the laundry. She’ll notice that you did it, you don't need to sound the buggle.

The character: Noah Calhoun in The Notebook
Why she loves him: “Poetic sensuality” is how Prioleau describes Noah Calhoun’s style. “He seduces [The Notebook's main character] Allie through the magic of the senses: his exquisite, hand-restored house; seasoned crabs with hot sauce; a trip to a beautiful secret lagoon; and bourbon before a crackling fire;” A large part of Noah’s appeal is his determination in all he does, including fighting to be with Allie to the very end. Plus, he’s played by Ryan Gosling. So there’s that.
How to be more like him: Stimulate her senses, this is what works on most women. Think beautiful flowers in the center of the dining room table, and a meal you’ve prepared that she can smell when she walks through the door with flavors that delight her taste buds. Turn on music that sets the mood, light some candles. Want to go the extra mile? Write her a note before dinner inviting her to your elaborate meal, and include a few romantic lines—even if you have to borrow them from a great poet (or cheesy movie). Your romantic gestures will emulate Noah’s great effort to make his relationship.
The character: Derek Shepherd (a.k.a. Dr. McDreamy) in Grey’s Anatomy
Why she loves him: Well, women say he’s dreamy—it’s right there in his name—but the good doc’s appeal is that he’s humble and open to love, says dating coach David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life. “He cheated on his wife, but he admitted his faults,” says Wygant. “He’s able to be vulnerable when he finds the right woman.” That,  allows women to feel safe falling in love with him.
How to be more like him: To channel McDreamy, become McListener. It’s important to pay attention to her, and to do so without judgment. Allow her to express everything so she feels comfortables. Don’t get defensive if the conversation turns to your relationship. By simply listening and keeping calm, you’ll make her feel safe.

The character: Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind
Why she loves him: Butler’s style is more primitive and raw than the others on this list. He’s the very definition of a manly man, he is primitive manhood in full mating mode. Throughout the book and movie, Butler looks at female protagonist Scarlett O’Hara as if he’s seen her naked and can’t wait to take her clothes off again. He kisses her without invitation. He wants her, and makes no qualms about it.
How to be more like him: “Drop the cool guy approach to courtship and come on strong. Women are turned on by being desired, so instead of playing games, you should be blunt. The ‘player’ movement is off base when it preaches that men should feign a lack of interest and let women chase them. No matter how successful and independent she might be, the primal being within her wants to be pursued and sexually irresistible. Make your move, Butler.

The character: Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey
Why she loves him:  Grey’s ability to make young Anastasia feel sexy is unparalleled in literature. Although much has been made of the sexual exploits in the Fifty Shades trilogy—women are guilty!— Grey’s appeal goes much further. Namely, the fact that his attention is squarely focused on Anastasia 100 percent of the time. He makes her the center of his universe, his one and only.
How to be more like him: Don’t worry, you won’t have to stock up on extra S&M gear. Instead, show her you give more than a crap about her: Don’t check your phone when you’re talking to her or peek at the TV over her shoulder at dinner. Ask her about her day, every day. Remember when she has a big presentation at work and send her a text saying "good luck." All that attention will make her feel sexy—and you just might reap the benefits.

In Sharp contrast we men don't read...... we watch the movie because our dream girl stars in it. We could care less about the plot. if she can use a whip we are watching and thinking she is so HOT.

Men like the star not the character. However if she shows us some moves that we can keep picturing for weeks on end in our minds, then that is all we really need. The image will fade in time and we will find a new Love interest for our  imagination.
Then it becomes all about  her and the pole.
That's right Ladies we are from Mars and you are from Venus. We are different in every sense of the word.  So don 't see your McStudd in the book and expect us to do it automatically with out a director. Who will instruct our every move, yelling "Take 200,Action." We will not do it to you because we don't want you to become our imagination girl we want you to be the best you can be just for us not an audience. 

OMG, she must be very high maintenance!

Ladies many of you claim you want a successful man in your life. But do you really understand what success really means. Beyonce married a successful man, who compliments her success. You need to Bring more to the table than just "I want, I want, I want." work on Contributing to your own success and he will contribute to your success, because self improvement is an 'added value.' Smart men want smart women in their lives. If you want to be a 'trophy,' you must first have values he will respect.

Michael Baisden Commentary: Success is about more than having money!

Success is not only about working hard, knowing the right people, and having lots of money, it’s also important to conduct oneself with class and have integrity! We have enough liars, show-offs, and mediocrity in our society. Stand out of the crowd by being a person of your word, dress in a way that exudes confidence, and associate only with those people who reflect your values.

Yes, doing all these things will eliminate most of your friends and make you a target for negativity, but if you endure it will take you places you never imagined.

We fellahs see the end results of her hard work  and Ass-U-Me someone else is maintaining her. "This must be the  case because she could not possibly be this successful without help." You are wrong, dead wrong because she could be a self starter and a very creative woman. I will admit she appears to be "High maintenance" that is a label we men pin on a woman because we do not want to do whatever it takes to have relationship with her. If you are a "Maintenance Man" one who would be willing to 'Wax  that A$$et, and polish with a spit shine' to keep  her shining brightly then you would not assume that she requires lots of maintenance, even if she does.  She might be self maintaining to some degree.... in this case you will be bringing 'added value'  to the relationship.

I see the term 'High maintenance' as label  a man uses  only in the case where he is not willing to do the things she requires to have a relationship with her. If you can't foot the bill then you should step out of the line and let someone else who can move to the head of the line. You can't  want what you should not have because you  are not willing to maintain her. Why ? Because you are not-willing to maintain the "trophy."

Fellas; As we often watch sports,  we see the price players pay to get a championship trophy. Those guys are willing to pay the high price for success and are willing to step up at crunch time... finishing what they started. Not being willing to do what is required is on you. 'A smart maintenance Man' is a guy who is willing to roll up his sleeves and get under neath the hood and make necessary adjustment so that everything continues to run smoothly. 'Polish' using a spit shine so that his trophy stays shining brightly. To do this you first have to admire her... 

So Ladies if he does not admire you, he will not be willing to put in the work..... It's all about bring 'added value' to the mix. If you bring it, we will be willing to maintain it...and add to it.

Stand up for the things we see as "valuable" assets. Rappers( in contrast) do a good job of making women feel like 'sex objects.' Real men do a better job of making  women feel like they are 'valuable' and admired women. But first, Ladies, you have to show men that you are 'a valuable assets.' If you don't, we will not respect your values. So you need to have some 'outstanding values' for men to see you shining brightly in the crowd.

      

A good Life should be an escape from the ignorant, belligerent, and close minded.

 
"When you need a little peace of mind, come on over  anytime. I'll keep you happy and so satisfied, in my house, in my house!!!! ~ Mary Jane Girls!

 

Who would tell you that these days? I can't think of anyone, off  the top of my head.  "Come over anytime, for some peace of mind" This would be the ultimate relationship. We men look for many things in a woman, but be never look for the things (in the beginning, that tell us we will have peace of mind while dealing with her.) We look for her to be exciting, sexy, special .... don't get me wrong  these are all great qualities, but can she  relax me and make me feel  at peace with her? Is she the nurturing type, as well as a sexy and exciting divah? If you find a woman like that, you will live in heaven on earth forever. This is what every Old school, mature man will be seeking the second time around if he want to be happily married, after a divorce or a common Law marriage ends... We men usually look for many things in the next women he gets involved with because  time stands still in our minds. We go back to the good old days of dating, the clubs and the Broadway lights... This is all good for the initial set of dates.... but if we can we should look for that hidden  ingredient that tells us, this woman will give me "Peace of mind" from the day we start living under the same roof. You can LOL if you want, but think about it. It is possible......   

Here is and example:

I had the pleasure of going to a Club house after watch my good friends play a game for men over 40 soccer. We ate  at the club house and drank a few beers, played cards.. Laughed and talk crap, Just a few women showed up, I guess to hang with the fellahs... So as my buddy and I were leaving I stopped at the door and one of the fellahs said to me where are you going, you are no longer married. What's your rush? My reply was: "I drove with my buddy and he is married and has to get home to his wife and  2 daughters. The last time I was in town we hung out until late and he heard about it when his wife called him on the phone. I had to apologize to her the next time I saw her, taking full responsibility for keeping him out late." The group laughed, one of the women said. I would tell him to just stay out since he does not seem to want to come home." So I said: " You would tell him that? SHM.

Just Then one of the fellas got up and went and ordered two dinners to go.  As we walked out he came up behind us. I said: Oooh you have to get home too? He said::"Nno. my wife is working until 11 and she will be hungry for some good down home cooking. I can hangout until 10:30 and get home before her. Bringing her food will ensure that I have some  peace in the house tonight....." Smart man. Get the food while there is still some left and  put it in the car. So when  he is ready to leave he does not have to get her the leftovers and he can eat (again) with her at home as if he has not eaten while she was working. Good, very good thinking. No need to spoil a good thing, just because you have the freedom to hang out with friends for a few hours. This is a lesson that all fellas should learn... Do not mess up a good thing,  if you want to have peace of mind  in the same house. Don't get her thinking she can survive without you, and be better off.

   If you want to survive you just need to know enough about her to make it work!

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No pain, no gain! You can't just let someone else steal your mate.

"OMG! You look so good today, better than yesterday! If don’t mind me saying, you are one beautiful and classy lady. Any man would be proud to have you on his arm for life." This is what happens when men stop complimenting their women. Other guys see what we may take for granted. Being in a long term relationship has a few minor problems. One is that  men and women become mind-game  players. Ask yourselves, do you still think she is beautiful...? So if you do, tell her. This goes both ways: She should also tell her man that he is still everything she fell in Love with. Failing to do this will result in dysfunctional relationships

 

My simple take on this is that men should treat their women like they do their special classic cars. Keep her shining and sparkling... bright, well service and well maintained. If you take care of your car your car will take care of you, the same applies to the woman you chose to be with if you made the right choice...

Okay, maybe a car is a bit of a stretch, to use as an example. You polish and wax your car, wash. it and detail it, by detailing your woman (giving her the attention she needs) you are making sure that she feels the    'Tender Loving care'  you are capable of giving her. President Obama  is a perfect example he never misses an opportunity to compliment the First Lady, in public. I think she is smiling at him because he may have said something  like this: "I'm a lucking man, and I really appreciate you being front and center  in my life and that you do so very  much  for me every day....." Now that is not so hard, is it ...? Try it sometime and don't forget you need to have 'date nights' now and then to take her out for a spin and show her off. This will keep you both remembering the days you were dating and she looked so good and smelled so good..... every time you went out on a date you could not wait to get her back to your place.

You don't need to worship the ground she walks on, to make her feel like you do Love her. Act the same way you did when you were trying to get her to commit to being your woman, the mother of your children, your life's partner.  

 

Ladies, he may no longer look like that dashing guy that caught your attention many years ago, but he needs to feel like you would still pick him over anyone else. It's no secret I'm a little old school, I recall grooving  to this song, back in the day. The word are very strong, "No pain, no gain." So if you put in the work and gained good benefits through your hard work and pain... why would you let someone else benefit from your hard work, by neglecting to do the little things that can keep your relationship solid? I've realized some time ago that was in part what caused my marriage to become a divorce relationship today.  So take it from a guy who knows..... Avoid becoming the guy who will be writing a blog like mine, blogging about the things he wishes he had paid attention to, a few years ago. The little things are major things in every relationship; Positive compliments bring positive responses and may result in a return compliment. Negative comments bring out the worse in someone.... Now you might be thinking what if 'I just don't say anything.’. In this case "silence is not golden" These days 'Uncertainty is the new normal.' So you may be thinking why start doing something that might change things.... then you are making an even bigger mistake. Because she/he will believe you just 'don't care.' Neglect never works well if you want a relationship to last. If you don't  want it to last then just keep doing what you have been doing, this is a proven way to cause  things between couples to  end, neglect her/him and watch her/him smile because someone else is paying her  compliments.

If you let that be the only compliments she hears, You lose! 
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Remember you were not her first choice. so be the best choice.