What gives, did you lose the fish on the hook?
A cool Brother I've known for years, successful online dater was kind enough to share a wealth of info he’s collected from his two-year online dating experience.
Ladies, listen up. It’s real stuff, so definitely take heed. “Sometimes after several exchanges, guys stop texting or emailing with the woman because the energy has left,” . T.D (initials only) revealed to me recently. He was talking to a few women casually and then one grabbed is attention enough that he wanted to focus on her--and stop talking to the rest. Sounds like he got hooked.
My good bro explained that even great texts are limited because the conversation still has that cyber quality( not personal enough.) You want to pay attention to the exact words the person uses, how they talk, because that’s how you transcend the cyber-ness. Cyber connections he rates low on the totem pole of communication leading to romance. It’s a low quality connection because you can’t see the person or hear their voice ( example: you can't see when she rolled her eyes.)
It takes effort to read between the lines, to see if this is a person you want to meet face to face, you have to look for subtleties that keep you interested.
Men and women “lie a lot” online (they embellish their stories, everything happen to their friend. LOL). You have to meet face to face for the relationship to go anywhere. Try and get to that part pretty fast if you can.
T.D. gave me some tips on how long or erudite introductory texts and emails need to be.
They should be short. A few lines at a time. Unless you’re trying to explain something, and then the text can be longer.
However don't text after you had a few drinks with your Girls looking over your shoulder (this can give the wrong impression.)
Someone could be terrific in person, but not a great speller when they’re texting, worse if they are drunk. Texting is something you do on a phone. You’re abbreviating, using short cuts. This is Cool, but be smart about it.
If you’re writing an actual email, however use spell check.
When does texting become intrusive? How much is too much?
There have definitely been women I’ve had to block ... T.D. speaks about Player rejections. Obsessive Texting four - five times a day. Almost immediately they start asking about your past relationships. Asking questions like: "Are you involved with someone else, hmmmm?” He said he had one woman stalk him to the point where she stole his screen name as her name and “adopted” all his likes and dislikes. That was scary. "Fatal Attraction the squeal".
He cautioned that sometimes you think a person has stopped being in touch with you, but they didn't, you ’re just not adept or savvy about how the site interfaces. So msgs. sent you are missed.
These links are a must see:
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