What's the best recipe for a good Relationship these days?

We surely had a great time tonight. Didn't we!

When we see a happy couples we think to ourselves.. Man ooh man are they lucky... or wow..... she found Mr. Right. and he found Mrs. Right.
We seldom know the full story because on the outside they look happy .. but will it last?
There are those of us who were in happy relationships at some point in our lives... but then something changed ... and just like that we became statistics added to  the columns of folks who didn't make it. However most of the issues that cause people to split are often the little things that one member of the duo stopped doing. the following are some examples of thing I use to do in the beginning and stopped doing them. So I'm guilty of taking my ex-wife for granted... and so she took me for granted... and so the result was a no fault divorce of ill-reconcilable differences.

Let's go for the sure thing recipe! Sure to impress! 
What's the best recipe for a good Relationship these days?

Guys who  do things in the beginning like
 trying and figure out what he did right to make her smile brightly at important  moment. Maybe he was smart and cooked for her the first time she came over.  He tried some new recipes he found on Youtube and they turned out  great. So they became his signature recipes to  Wow a lady with.

It's just the right temperature

He ran her bath when she was tired and came home late from work. 

He would make sure her towel was warm so that when she climbed out of the tub she could wrap herself in a warm  towel...especially in the winter months.  

Do you mind if I kiss you here? 

He Kissed her in a place she was not expecting and she liked it! this is very important because it was not lead into sex.. it was intimacy that was displayed in public and in private....

He spend quality time reading  her favorite book with her.  this was  during TV sport center of first take ... so she really appreciated it... because he was dedicating his sport time to her and doing what she liked.

How did you know this was my favorite book

This is so romantic.. I didn't know you had it in you!

installing a two headed shower, or taking tub bath together promotes togetherness... you even feel cleaner cause to other person can wash those area for you !

we are Planning together for the future!

Planning together is key to having the best recipe for a good Relationship these days!
These days we men assume that women have to cater to us for the relationship to work.... If we continue to Ass-U-me we will find ourselves with our bags packed outside of the door and the locks have been changed. Bye bye!

Why Are Guys Not Proposing To Me? She Wants A Kid And A Husband

This is the time of year when women who feel that they have been single too long will be making statement like this:

“I don’t have a boyfriend yet but when I get one who is willing to stay with me, no matter what and that I love and he also loves me then of course I’ll marry him. These factors play a very important role when it comes to marriage so I’m not joking with them.

Do you know I walk around and nobody approaches me? They might think I have a boyfriend but I don’t. I need a fiancé that will become a husband. I need you please come!” 

Hmmm! What can I say.... I've met my share of these women, some I've even dated. Maybe the timing was wrong for me and her....... or  we were just all wrong for each other.

Maybe some of the following should be asking or answered while you have a conversation.

1. Can we live together for a period of at least one year prior to marriage?

Oh, are you Catholic? Don't like the idea of living in sin? Awww, that's so quaint. You're a  moron. Man or woman, you better damn well know if you enjoy the day-to-day experience of living with your potential spouse before you decide to get hitched. And the whole, "Well, we see each other all the time. We pretty much live together anyway," thing is WRONG. It's so terribly wrong. If you have your own place, that means you can GET AWAY.

2. Can we please be married for a period of three years before we begin trying to have children?

No woman will actually agree to three or four years. Strictly a bargaining point. Ideally, you negotiate down to two, one in a worst-case scenario. Are you marrying a woman over the age of 30? You're in a squeeze. She'll throw away her blister pack of Yasmin two months before your wedding night. But if you're marrying a woman in her twenties, IMPLORE her to give you some time before kids come and ruin everything. Travel. Eat. Have lots of sex. Spend money on retarded things. You can do all that before you have kids. Get as much of that time as possible. Otherwise, you'll have kids, you'll pass each other in the night, and you'll ask yourself, "Hey, WHO THE F#CK IS THIS PERSON?"

3. I know we aren't going to have as much sex once we get married, but exactly how much sex will we NOT have?

Varies by woman. However, as a guideline, I'd take the number of times you have sex a month right now, divide that number by five, and then multiply it by zero. That'll give you a solid idea of how much future sex is in store for you.

4. If I agree to be the breadwinner in the family, will you accept that sometimes I have to DO WORK in order to win said bread?

Happens to some men out there. They get married, they get a job, they have a shitload of kids, and then wifey is on the phone at 2PM every day saying, "HEY, I NEED YOU TO COME HOME." Or, "Couldn't you take a day off or something?" Well, no. No, that isn't how it works. In order to live, we need MONEY. Which means we have to fucking work, sometime late! We're not out a titty bar. We're not golfing. We're really, truly, legitimately working. And we'll be right home, unless you delay our work by calling every ten fucking minutes.

5. Do you cook? Or clean? Are you mildly proficient in home economics?

Again, this question works for both sexes. Don't marry some lazy b!tch (or a$$hole) who won't f#cking do anything.

6. Have we broken up several times before?

Yes? Then you're going to end up getting divorced.

7. Do you take any medication for depression, particularly manic depression? What happens if you don't take it?

Oh, I'll tell you what happens if they don't take it. Your severed pen!s might be in a recycling bin.

8. I'm going to do my damnedest to provide for you and our children. But I can't guarantee we'll ever be rich or anything. Is that good enough for you?

Because it isn't, for some ladies. Some ladies will expect you to become CEO of Prestige Worldwide by age 37. When I worked in IT systems, I had a lunatic ex-girlfriend who constantly demanded that I try and find a job in finance. Avoid women like this, women who could give two shits about you following your passions and seeing where they lead. Women like that are horrid.

9. I like lots of sports and music and movies that you probably don't. Will you not try and get me to unlove those things?

In other words, do you want to marry me, or do you want to marry some wet dream version of me? Because I'll never be that fucking person. Marriage is acceptance. You either accept the person, warts and all, or you don't. If your girlfriend is going to marry you hoping you'll become some other person who doesn't listen to Slayer and jack off three times a day, you may as well let her ass down easy now.

10. Would you mind signing this?

It's something that you need to have because if she leave yo ass she going to leave with HALF or All..

What it all boils down to is if you're marrying someone who's as dedicated to YOUR happiness as you are to theirs. Because if it ain't even, then you're screwed. Forever. I'm sure I forgot millions more.

He loves to cook, so why are you insisting on being taken out for Dinner?

take my picture!

Well some fortunate lady lucked out ... she  found a man that knows his way around the kitchen. He is willing to impress her with his gourmet meals...... so why  would she rather dine in a restaurant?
Could it be just to make the man spend money... the more expensive the meal the more she is impressed??? Or does she just want to be seen in a fancy restaurant, taking Selfies to post on social media.... just to make her girls envy her to the max.

This is an expensive meal Right?

When a man knows he can do something well and that something can please his lady... she should take into consideration the effort he put into doing his best. This is a no win situation, because she want what she wants...
#1 A man who can cook."
#2 " A man who is  willing to spend money to impress.. her... and others"

Why can't a guy do all of the above?
If he can't then he better keep shopping for the type of woman, maybe like his mother was, who was happy if she found the right guy (his dad) who is a provider, and is willing to do more than her share to make the household happy and functional.
The new-age females are not like that (women of your mother's generation).... anymore. If you find one..... lock her down ... get her to marry you and be totally thankful  and pray that she does not change.... outside influence will creep into your business and disrupt your life...
As the holiday roll around we are reminded that the season of being Jolly and joyous and happy is about materialistic purchases... make it yourself and no one really appreciates it .... "where is the prize tag.... I want to see how much you paid for this gift......."
"You made it yourself, you are so cheap....!"

Did you just call me a Ho?

"Happy holidays..... Ho, Ho, Ho... "

Holiday Lonely

Penny for your thoughts!

There are times when games are played by those who seem to have the advantages of being in multiple relationships at the same time during the Holidays. The MSG. is always crystal clear to the persons who are #2 or other in the Que.... #1 has the upper hand... unless that person mess up  during the holiday they will have most of the benefits during the Christmas and New Years Eve.
 #2 and others can look forward to the New year but will have to sacrifice all the main holidays from Thanksgiving through New Years day. So how does #2 and.....others  feel, knowing that the cheers and toast are never directed towards them for the holidays.On the stroke of midnight  the fireworks will let them know that they are still lower in the Que than the #1. But all is not lost you might get a notice on "J" One..a quick text or mini voice MSG. flow though unto your phone.... the sound of your boo's voice might make you feel excited again until the next major holiday rolls around... like valentine day and Easter.
Some may even start singing the old school song " You are going to make me Love somebody else if you don't stop treating me the way you do!"

Thinking of you, is all she seems to do..this time of year.

It's coming up on the holidays, and you can't stop thinking about last year and the good feelings during the holidays ... when you were in a relationship and things seemed  to be going well. Then something went wrong and the two of  you split. Now he has moved on and you are left alone  dealing with the statistics  of  7 to 1 ratios...not the best time to find someone new... to spend the holidays with... .....

The following are some of the stupid reasons you are alone for the Holidays ....It just might be because of  your independence.

In the early stages of the relationship, some women are more reserved about the things that are important to them, but as things move on and a  guy gets to know her better, he's  slowly be let into her inner world. But that might be too late... for some guys.

Women wants to enjoy actual conversations - Yes.....she'll want you to listen, and not just stare and zone out when she's talking. Don't think she'll notice that you're thinking about that video game you need to get back to or how much work you have to do tomorrow.

An independent woman wants to spend time with you, but she won't be needy. An independent woman has no problem being on her own, which means when she wants to be in your company, she's truly looking forward to enjoying it.
An independent woman wants you, but she doesn't necessarily need you....and  this is also a problem for some guys. 

Just because she's decided to be with you, doesn't mean she no longer wants to spend some time alone...Ooops......but that does not mean during the Holidays. She's used to it, and it helps her re-energize so that your time together will be quality time.

You are an independent woman I'm not sure this will work for me!

Who is she that has surfboard and daredevil skills?

She has skills so she might be able to surf right through a players B.S.

 

The truth hurts. But you need to know. Loving someone requires commitment, not just saying the words “I love you” and bandying around the L word each time you have a free moment. You are committing emotionally, physically, and spiritually to another person.

The two people must work towards common interests in the relationship. It might seem like a tit for tat but it is definitely not. It must begin from the brain down to the heart and the actions manifest it all.

You must first love yourself to be able to understand what the other person means when they say they love you. Considerthese relationship truths:

Relationships are not about good or bad people; they’re about people that are right for you: You may go for beauty when searching for a partner, but later, you realise that the character and ways of life do not make the person right for you.

You will find that the other party may not even remain the person they initially were. Individuals change with time.

In relationships, the parties should look for the problem in themselves first: When you feel unhappy with yourself, it’s easy to find where the problem lies. If you blame the other party for what you’re feeling, the solution may lie on them but it’s not logical.

It doesn’t actually solve the problem since you didn’t actually look for the root of the problem. Taking responsibility of the problem gives you the power to create a solution and important step while managing your relationship.

In long, committed relationships, you’ll never really be sure if you are in love with the other person or if you’re just habitual to them: After a long period of time in relationships, you get fond of your partner to the point where they become more like a brother and a friend. This makes it hard to differentiate from the love you had in the beginning.

Trying to be friends with your ex after a breakup never works: A clean breakup is always required. This assures you that most people don’t end up with the person they always thought was the one.

You don’t always agree with your partner’s choices: What matters the most is whether or not you can accept those choices. It’s wise to take some time before making decisions. Instant decision making will certainly give or lead to regrets. Relationships will not always be exciting; there are times of joy and sorrow.

Tomboy woman don fall for the B.S. so come straight or she will be swing right by you!

more on relationships in the next blog post. Hmm this might you thinking about equality in relationships.

Well we can eat any and everything we want while on vacation... But it will be different when we get back home!

Are you really going to eat more than your share?

 

There are no equal relationships: There will always be one partner who loves the other one more, which is so unfortunate since the one less involved gets to always call the shots.(it's eating at a buffet the one who has the greatest appetite is the one who will get carried away.) 

This makes it possible to fall out of love with someone, which leads to a breakup. It may seem like the end of the world but life always moves on.

The perfect relationship doesn’t exist — no matter how hard you try or how many rules you follow: Your relationship will never be perfect because perfect doesn’t exist. So you should lower the high expectations of romantic dinners every night or surprises every morning because this only happens in movies. The key to maintaining your relationship is just lowering your temper and trying very hard to understand your partner.

You will always have something to argue about, healthy arguments and not unnecessarily cribbing are a way of showing that you are working to make your relationship work.

You have to work for happiness, sometimes for a long time: Most people want it to come naturally with a great relationship but happiness is something that you have to work towards.

Fight the monotony that is assured to fight in. Forgive some things and take a stand for others while always working towards happiness.

Trying to make it work doesn’t always work: You may decide to make it work and you’re willing to try your best but unfortunately, it can’t work.

Relationships work simultaneously and both members need to put equal efforts. Your sex life will definitely change as the relationship progresses: The wild passion from before will stop making you go towards a more mature relationship.

You will be unhappy at times and that’s completely OK and normal: Romance is good at times, but sometimes lack of it is even better. At times, just changing into your pajamas and relaxing with you partner can be far best.

The hard times can be a hidden blessing and you notice later that nothing will develop that bond as the hard times.

So in conclusion, in a good relationship, you will need to care and show concern for your partner. You need treat him/her with love, not ambivalence or fickleness.

In a true relationship, love requires actions because at the end of the day talk is very cheap, love is shown and you feel it.

Are You His Best Kept Secret, simple becuase you are costing him too much?

He may not say it but his actions will surely tell his mindset!

Ladies and Guys, we are all creatures of habit. Everything we think, say and do is a result of deep-seated habits etched into our minds through years and years of repetitious behavior. Those very same habits either help to propel us forward or to hinder our progress in life. In fact, the state and quality of our lives right now is a direct reflection of our daily habits. 
Habits are an undeniably powerful part of life. They're an integral part of the underlying behavioral psychology that shapes the direction of our lives. They're so integral that a study determined that approximately 45 percent of everything we do on a daily basis is driven by our habits. 
Parting ways with our bad habits and replacing them with good habits is by no means a simple task. It takes commitment, willpower and an unwavering desire to overcome our seemingly natural tendencies to think, feel, speak and act in a certain way. 

Clearly, for those absolutely committed to things like happiness and success, habits offer the pathway to enrichment in life. They're also the tools we use to help automate our progress towards one end or another, assisting us with the achievement of our goals and the fulfillment of our dreams.
Still, for the most part, we're often left in the dark. We're unsure of ourselves or where to start on the road to developing good habits. What are the best habits to have in your life when you want to succeed or be happy? Are there some that usurp others, providing some secret magical recipe for achieving life's loftiest goals?

What are the best habits to have in life? 

While any list of habits concocted might seem subjective, there are, in fact, particular habits that will not only help you to succeed, financially speaking, but will also keep you healthy, happy and fulfilled in life. Focus on these habits, consistently making efforts to instill them into your daily routine, and in time, your progress and momentum towards your goals will skyrocket.

Gratitude.
We spend a great deal of time immersed in our wants, needs and problems. But problems are also a sign of life. The only time we'll lack problems is when we're six feet under. And if you want to shift your focus away from your problems, you have to be grateful for what you have. Yes, even for your problems. 
Gratitude is the surest pathway to health, happiness and success. It shifts our attention towards what we have rather than what we don't have. It's the natural abundance of simple pleasures and opportunities that we've been afforded with and blessed with that we often take for granted.

Smile.

Studies have shown that people who smile a genuine smile (also referred to as a Duchenne smile) are happier in life(who knows it might just get you what you want). This is one of the best habits for allowing you to find emotional, mental and spiritual peace-of-mind over time -- simply by placing a smile on your face. 
The physiology of our bodies dictates the psychology of our minds. When we frown or slouch or do any number of other things that convey a sense of depression and unhappiness, our mind takes those cues and runs with them. However, once we shift our outward appearance by consciously adjusting ourselves, our inward feelings follow.

 

There will be HELL's fire to contend with....

 Are You His Best Kept Secret?
You shouldn’t be a secret. If you have been dating for a substantial amount of time and he isn’t open to meeting or hanging out with your friends and family and you haven’t met his, then you have a problem. His best friends don’t count. (Sometimes even side-chicks meet them.) After a while, things should be out in the open and people should know that you exist. If not, you might want to find a man who wants to show you off, not hide you!

How Long is His Attention Span?

If you guys aren’t dating exclusively you may not have all of his attention. That’s to be expected. But does he pay attention to you? His sincere interest in you should aid him in noticing the little things. Things like the kind of places you like to eat, the shoes you wore last night or what make you smile. Your interests are only visible to people who are looking beneath the surface. His thoughtfulness will serve as a sign of his sincere interest in you.

Girl traveling in groups..hmmm to foreign countries should we men be worried?

Fellahs.....Are you falling  for or in love  with a woman who is used to being on her own, and enjoys it?
Or, are you  thinking about dating one?
Dating an independent female can bring a few challenges, but the reward makes it more than worth it, there are just a few things you should know.

She's emotionally strong

This woman isn't going to be clinging on to you to fulfill her every need. She's used to relying on herself, making her emotionally strong. She doesn't need you to fight her battles, she can fight them on her own. But that doesn't mean she doesn't need you at all - and, you'll appreciate this strength when you two are going through hard times.

She's not going to be telling you every little thing she does

Don't expect her to call you every time she decides to go out or even on a trip with her friends. She'll probably do her own thing often, without letting you know, at least initially. That's because she's used to doing whatever she wants and when she wants without asking permission. It doesn't mean she doesn't care, and after the relationship develops, she'll start to let you in more often. Remember, it's a good thing to have separate interests - if you want it to work, encourage her to keep pursuing them, don't hold her back.

She may be more reserved initially

In the early stages of the relationship, she'll probably be more reserved about the things that are important to her, but as things move on and you get to know her better, you'll slowly be let into her inner world.

She enjoys good conversation

This girl wants to enjoy actual conversations - she'll want you to listen, and not just stare and zone out when she's talking. Don't think she'll notice that you're thinking about that video game you need to get back to or how much work you have to do tomorrow.

She may want you, but she doesn't necessarily need you

An independent woman wants to spend time with you, but she won't be needy. She has no problem being on her own, which means when she wants to be in your company, she's truly enjoying it.

She still needs time to be alone

Just because she's decided to be with you, doesn't mean she no longer wants to spend some time alone. She's used to it, and it helps her re-energize so that your time together will be quality time.

Take  a chill pill and don't sweat the small stuff!

He will see this of social media and really wonder if I need him....

Let's toast to togetherness! you might be thinking the following Questions.

Is He Playing Word Games?

His intentions and feelings about you should be clear! You shouldn’t be forced to guess how he feels about you or play silly word games when you ask. When it comes to dating, assumptions are never good. They can be misleading and will cause you to get hurt, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your heart later.

Will he be Consistent?

"I love you." "I need you." "I want you." It all sounds good, but it only rings true if his words are married to his actions. Sincerity is proven by consistent action over a course of time, so pay attention to the signs. If he’s one week on and two weeks off, he isn’t as sincere as he would like you to believe. However, if you find a man consistent in his pursuit of you, you may have a keeper on your hands.

Will He value Your Time (Together)?

We live in a world that moves at a frantic pace. That being said, the old saying still applies: People make time for what they want. Take that to heart and know that if he’s serious about you he will be just as serious about spending time with you – even when it’s not most convenient for him.

Is He Chasing you Or will he be Running,soon?

If he is chasing, then he will be busy pursuing you. What does the pursuit look like? Here’s your guide: He should be calling and texting, planning dates and outings and getting on your calendar. You should not be doing all the work. If you are, you like him more than he likes you. The earlier you recognize his lack of interest, the better. Accept what is there instead of looking for what isn’t.

The above are Just some thoughts I would have if I was a a woman in today's market.  I would have my best adviser  looking over my shoulder most of the time.

Things a Woman Should Master Before Trying to live with a Man

Finding true love is an experience that most women desire in their lives.

It helps them build a solid source of loyalty, unconditional support, and emotional security that provides genuine happiness. However, experiencing a fulfilling love life takes dedication. In our society, real love is painted as a fairy tale and this superficial image often gets etched into our minds early in life.

Women are subconsciously fed the notion that a Prince Charming will come along and sweep them off their feet and they will live happily ever after. But it doesn’t always work that way.

Many times it’s because the man was no good or was playing games. However, oftentimes good relationships go sour because women haven’t built themselves up enough yet to handle the ups and downs and sacrifices involved in a committed relationship.

There are many different aspects of life women must understand before experiencing true love.

Here are seven things a woman should master before trying to find the right man.

How to not make being in a relationship your main source of validation.

This is an important one. Some people (especially women) allow loneliness to make them desperate for intimacy and attention. This often cause women to settle and jump into a relationship just to say that they're in a relationship. Women have to master defining themselves without having a man on their arm. This will transform them into  women who are 100% capable of bonding with the RIGHT man when he does come along.

How to be strong by yourself.

This one is a no-brainer. Learning how to live with yourself, love yourself, and reflect on what you need to do to become a better person is one of the best skills a woman can have before falling in love with someone. Once you master this you will have the wisdom you need for self-betterment.

How to overcome your weaknesses.

Nobody is perfect. Everybody has their flaws, but it’s not good to embrace them too much. Learning how to admit your weaknesses and dedicate yourself to turning them into strengths builds your character. “you don't get blessed for  sinful mess” is how my grandmother would put it. And a woman shouldn’t expect a real man to clean up all of her messes. At some point, you have to perform actions that prove you’ve learned from your mistakes as a woman.

How to manage your finances.

Black women are getting educated and increasing their earning potential at an all-time high. In fact, recent data has revealed that Black women are beating out ALL other groups, no matter the race or gender, when it comes to overall college enrollment.

Black Women are, as we should be taking full advantage of these opportunities in order to have our own financial security. One of the worst positions you can put yourself in is the position where you have to depend on a man for money, food, and housing. At that point, you set yourself up for all forms of abuse and manipulation. On top of that, numerous studies have shown that being college educated significantly reduces your odds of getting a divorce once you’re married.

As you can see, being educated is great from all angles. You have a stronger relationship, more freedom, and your income rises.

However, learning how to manage all this money we’re making as a result of our education is something we should also be focused on before finding a man to fall in love with.

Eliminating poor spending habits, taking care of debt, and properly budgeting your expenses are things a woman needs to master before getting involved in a serious relationship.

Getting closer to your sense of spirituality.

Whether you’re a religious woman or not, the truth is that a spiritual connection with a higher power is fundamental to life. Getting closer to this higher power is a great way to build yourself up and establish your true blessings in life.

A family that prays together stays together. Black women should all focus on getting their spiritual houses in order before trying to find true love.

Your level of confidence.

Women can have their self-esteem damaged severely after they’ve had a failed relationship. This is a vulnerable position to be in because it can blind you and cause you to discount your true worth. If you’ve just gotten out of a bad relationship you should focus on increasing your level of confidence before moving on. No matter how much a man tells you how beautiful you are, it doesn’t mean a thing if you don’t honestly feel that way on the inside.

Need to know How to manage conflict.

You have to know how to “fight right” if you want to have a lasting relationship. This trait comes from having experience. Learning it takes maturity and hard work. You also have to know how to better communicate your feelings and be fair when you’re trying to reach a resolution to a problem. When one or both partners aren’t effective at managing conflict the relationship is doomed from the start.