Honey I'm not home, I will be late!

We all have our moment where we want to step out and have fun with our friends. Coworkers...etc

Ladies have girls day out and fellahs may want to hang with their boys at the gym or the club. some clubs are more enjoyable than others. The question each group will ask why do you need to make it a habit?  Once in awhile is OK but every Friday can become a problem! 



An evening at the Spa can be a nice experience!

 So if your are not in the habit or massaging and helping her take care of her feet you might be leaving those duties to someone else who is maybe paid to do it. The tips can become an expensive expenditure!

Your best friends can complicate your relationship.... hanging with your girls too often, I'm sure women think that their men are hanging with his boys at the strip club too often also!

 

While you're hanging with your peeps maybe all  harmless and just fun, the mind of your partner is going 20 miles a second wondering why you need to do this at all.

Dudes can be insecure about your play-dates with your girls, just like ladies can be unsure about their guy hanging with his boyz at the club.

OK that is one side of the issue.... We need to explore both sides!

When friends, male or female, have so much influence on your time, it can change your relationship with your partner. Some partners are very understanding.... in the beginning. I know this because I have walked the walk. My ex-wife  travel with her flight attendant friends to Amsterdam, Argentina, Paris, and other exotic places without me, in later years of our marriage.  I was always dealing with overtime hours and project deadlines, my time was limited. So we only traveled together,  when I had vacation time.. sometimes with our sons as family vacations. so needless to say I wondered about these middle of the week trips for 2-4 days with her girls. While I kept the home front running smoothly in her absents.

Confession time: When I first got married I set the rules that Wednesday nights and some Friday night was 'My time' to do what I wanted, because I had a habit of hanging with my boyz on those nights before I got married. We would go to the gym and shoot some hoops, and then head over to a club that had 'miss legs contest' every Wednesday at a  Place called "Kisses" 25 miles North-West of Chicago.Then I would leave the office with my colleagues and head to happy hour on a Friday, and call and tell my wife I would be late coming home.... She accepted it until  she got pregnant with our first child, then she started tripping that I had to start acting like an adult. She was right I could no longer do the same things like  I did when I was single.

 It was time for 'New RULES' 

Fellahs, your lady needs special pampering after a long week of walking in high heels.

Figure out where you are in your relationship and establish the Rules that you both can agree to, and stick to them!

She is just as sexy today as when you first saw her let her know that you recognize the following: A picture is worth a thousand words.. but a picture with a caption conveys the full message..



Why women cheat?

First My disclaimer... I copied the following. so that no one thinks. I'm an expert on

"why Women Cheat."

 

As far as stereotypes go, a wandering eye and the urge to jump into bed with multiple partners seems to be built into a man's DNA, but when it comes to cheating, the sexes are created more equally than we think. (Cough, Kristen Stewart, cough.) Renee Lee, a relationship expert with a masters in psychology, dishes out five reasons why women cheat.

Her eyes are searching the horizon for someone new !

 

 

 

1. Going Through A Transition
 

"If it is graduating, turning a certain age, losing a parent or advancing the relationship status, women become introspective," explains Lee. "Even if it is something she wants, such as just getting engaged or graduating, the transition can stir up an array of emotions about where her life is going or where she is in it. The discomfort of change can trigger an impulsive desire to find someone to take her focus off the change and be a diversion for what she is going through."

 

2. Not Feeling Adequately Celebrated

 

We've all been here: "May it be getting a promotion, organizing a fundraiser, or making Thanksgiving dinner for a party of 20, men often make the misstep of "not complimenting their partner's achievements," Lee says. "Women seek an emotional connection that their partner notices them, is proud of their achievements, and appreciates what they do, so when they aren’t getting this at home the residual effects lead to feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, depression, and restlessness."

And that's when they could go looking for it elsewhere. "When you are living in the day to day with someone, it is challenging to step outside a situation and notice the things that do matter to someone," adds Lee "As this wears down over time, so as soon as the woman encounters someone who ignites the spark they are lacking at home, they equate it to an emotional connection and seek companionship with someone else." If she goes on vacation without you, she might meet someone else who will fill the void! 

 

3. Feeling A Relationship Ending
 

"When a woman feels that uneasy sense that a relationship is on the outs, by either her doing or his, she will often look to fill the void externally to soften the blow," Lee reasons for a woman's infidelity. "If she is the one considering the breakup, she may be using this tactic as a challenge to herself both testing the waters, and then gauge if she can go through with it."

 Watch out her mouth might het hot!

4. It's Just Not Fun Anymore

...But it's too hard to pull the plug. "When you don’t laugh, you don’t love. Laughter is one of the key elements in a relationship that often gets overlooked," Lee explains, simply. "When stresses of day to day life become the dominant factor in a relationship, women feel unhappy. When they come across a coworker, or friend that they have a good time with, it suddenly brings to light what is missing in their own relationship and becomes tempting to act upon."

 

5. It's Boring In The Bedroom

 

Men aren't the only ones who need to spice things up. "Women need to feel desired!" Lee declares. "If she is not getting any, enough, or nothing to talk about, women start to feel a sexual void. With the popularity of books such as Fifty Shades of Grey, television shows, or listening to friends talk about their fun single trysts, women have that moment when they compare their love life at home to what the rest of the world seems to be experiencing." And that's when she may start to wonder what she's missing.

 

Don't lockout your potential Soulmate.

He could be your soul-mate, all you need to do is give him the green light to say "hello!

 he might be a romantic guy.. who might take you on a vacation will never forget! 

 

Women who have been hurt by some mistakes they made in the past, sometimes continue to  lockout possibilities with a new good guy. Men are not all the same. We men are like  cars in a parking lot , different colors, different makes, even different models. ....with different taste in places to take you on a romantic dinner.

 

From my point of view as  a guy who has seen it, all to often, where good women have been hurt by one guys actions that the spend a lifetime alone.  They were hurt because a guy did not appreciate all the "Added value" attributes she brought to the relationship, stomped all over her heart.  Let's face it this is as old as the beginning of time. We men only learn to appreciate good women after we mature (which take time 35 and older.) We can't help it. we are condition to look at sexy and beauty as the only factors that matter. We seldom choose the smart and self confident female first. That is a positive thing, ladies. Because we will appreciate you after we have made most of the wrong choices and have made all the major mistakes  we can make, this  leads to better choices do to maturity (experience comes from BAD choices made in the past.)

You don't want to be "his first choice," you want to be "his last choice." ( This becomes  life long commitment)

 

In sharp contrast we men really want a woman to prove to us that she is not coming to us with  over-weight baggage( not your size, but your drama.) We men are like the airlines we weigh your baggage and decide if it is too much stuff to deal with. So travel with only your necessities. Everyone travels with some luggage, bring yourself and some "Added value items"  only. You need new stuff, this is why you are moving on to a new relationship. By bringing junk you don't need, you prevent yourself from having a  chance to true happiness. He might be your soul-mate ( women think about having soul-mates, while men just want a good mate,) who will help you in areas, you thought  no one would care enough  about you, to help you with. Help you with your career, raising your kids (not his), helping you in areas no one else was willing to deal with. These are all the areas that you need help with because if you didn't...... you would not be dealing with the problems that you are dealing with right now. Men can be compassionate not just users/losers. Ask him questions when you meet him, was he close to the women who he grew up with.

If he say "Yes" he is a keeper.

 

 

Gvie her Free compliments

"OMG! You look so good today, better than yesterday! If you don’t mind me saying, you are one beautiful and classy lady. Any man would be proud to have you on his arm for life." This is what happens when men stop complimenting their women. Other guys see what we may take for granted. Being in a long term relationship has a few minor problems. One is that  men and women become mind-game  players. Ask yourselves,  do you still think she is beautiful...? So if you do, tell her. This goes both ways: She should also tell her man that he is still everything she fell in Love with. Failing to do this will result in a dysfunctional relationship! You might as well be driving bumper cars where crashing into each other is legal.

My simple take on this is that men should treat their women like they do their special classic cars.

 Keep her shining and sparkling... bright, well serviced and well maintained. If you take care of your woman like your car, she  will take care of you, the same applies to the woman you choose to be with, if she made the right choice... she will take good care of you!

Okay, maybe a car is a bit of a stretch, to use as an example. You wash, polish and wax your car,  and detail it, by detailing your woman (given her the attention she needs) you are making sure that she feels the ' Tender Loving care'  you are capable of giving her, president Obama  is a perfect example he never misses an opportunity to compliment the First Lady in public. I think she is smiling at him because he said something  like this: "I'm a luckiest man, and I really appreciate you being front and center  in my life and that you do so very  much  for me every day....." Now that is not so hard, is it ...? Try it sometime and don't forget you need to have 'date nights' now and then to take her out for a spin and show her off. This will keep you both remembering the days you were dating and she looked so good and smelled so good..... every time you went out on a date.

You don't need to worship the ground she walks on, you just need to make her feel like you do. Act the same way you did when you were trying to get her to commit to being your woman, the mother of your children, your life's partner. 

Ladies he may no longer look like that dashing guy, with rock hard body,  that caught your attention, many years ago, but he needs to feel like you would still pick him over anyone else. It's no secret.... I'm more than a  little old school, I recall grooving  to this song, back in the day. The word are very strong, "No pain, no gain." So if you put in the work and gained good benefits through your hard work and pain... why would you let someone else benefit from your hard work, by neglecting to do the little things that can keep your relationship solid? I've realized some time ago that was in part what caused my marriage to become a divorce relationship today.  So take it from a guy who knows..... Avoid becoming the guy who will be writing a blog, and blogging about the things he wishes he had paid attention to, a few years ago. The little things are major things in every relationship; Positive compliments bring positive responses and may result in a return compliment. Negative comments bring out the worse in someone.... Now you might be thinking what if 'I just don't say anything.’ silence may lead to her sitting all by herself and thinking.

In this case "silence is not golden" These days  'Uncertainty is not the good new normal.' So you may be thinking why start doing something that might change things.... then you are making an even bigger mistake. Because she/he will believe you just 'don't care.' Neglect never works well if you want a relationship to last. If you don't  want it to last then just keep doing what have being doing, this is a proven way to cause  things between couples to  end, neglect her and watch her smile because someone else is paying her  compliments. Because she looks good, smells great in her new dance  outfit. she also may find a new dance partner.

in that case  You lose!