Is a Life partners until death do you part?

Girl Are we life Partners or not!?

 There are Differences Between A Relationship Partner and A Life Partnership.

Many people go through different kinds of relationships in an effort to find the one person that they truly want to be with for the rest of their lives.   It can be hard to tell who is supposed to be your life mate, and who is simply supposed to be a relationship partner(with an experation date ). Sometimes, we confuse the two and spend longer than we need to in a relationship that isn’t meant to last forever.

There are some key differences between a simple relationship, and a relationship with your life mate.

Once you know the difference, finding that special someone to spend the rest of your life with...... will be a much easier task. Not only that, but you will be able to pinpoint relationships that aren’t working much easier. But should we consider "not working" things can often go through a rough storming period... is that really "not working" or something that is seasonal..... a temporary set back or two.



YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’VE KNOWN THE PERSON FOREVER

When your life mate walks into your life, it can suddenly feel like you’ve known them your entire life. While you may be finding out new things about them every day, they don’t feel like a stranger to you. You’re immediately comfortable around them, and feel like you can tell them almost anything.

Life partners often feel a sense of the familiar and a sense of comfort around each other. Many people say it’s easier to relax with that person and allow themselves to be vulnerable.

With relationship partners, it can take a while to start to trust them and get to know them. But your life partner is going to feel like you’ve known each other from the moment you were born. It’s an amazing feeling, if you are fortunate enough to ever have that interaction.

 YOUR ATTRACTION IS PHYSICAL, SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL (3 for 3)

When you meet your life partner, everything about them is attractive to you. Not only are you going to be physically attracted to what they look like, but you’re going to be spiritually and emotionally attracted to them as well. When it comes to simple relationship partners, you may find them attractive, but not everything else lives up to the idea of a life mate. You may get along well, and have a good time together, but it’s not quite the same as being spiritually and emotionally attracted to someone.

 THEY KNOW YOU INTUITIVELY

When you’re with your life mate, it’ll almost feel like they can read your mind. While that’s not actually possible, they will be much more highly attuned with your emotions and your personality to be able to feel like they’re able to read your mind. Relationships can often falter with communication because we’re not actually mind readers.

It seems like your senses and perceptions are feeding off of each other so much so that one or both of you often say, “I was just thinking that”, “You read my mind”, or?”How did you know?” They see you on a deeper level and can sometimes do it early on in your relationship.

The deep spiritual and emotional connection that you share with your life partner, vs. just a relationship partner, will make it so that communication flows between you much easier. This isn’t to say you won’t have your moments, but you’ll be able to work them out much quicker.

So you still like dating your wife after all this time!?

YOU KEEP FALLING IN LOVE

With relationships, people can sometimes feel their love plateau – or worse, they can feel themselves falling back out of love with the person that they were with. When you find your life mate, you don’t have that problem. In fact, you just keep falling deeper and deeper in love with them. It doesn’t seem to end. There’s a never-ending well of love inside your heart for this specific person. All of their flaws and quirks are just a part of them and they make you love them even more. Every day you find something new about your life mate that makes you love them more than you already did – even if you didn’t think it was possible.

THE WOMAN FEELS SECURE AND PROTECTED

In a normal relationship, you might feel comfortable and happy. This is good and normal. You should feel relaxed... but secure and protected is the ultimate. Ask any woman  who has split from her man  if she ever really felt secured and protected.... 9 out of 10 of their answers would be "No!"
A few out of the 10 might say for a little while but that also faded....they now believe they will  "Never Love this way again"

IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS TO SURVIVE THESE DAYS

YES BUT THERE ARE SECRET TO IT 

Do you know the secret?

There Is A Truths No One Tells You About Long-Term Relationships ~LTR (That's Why So Many Partnerships End)

Long-term relationships, or LTR’s, are what many of us search for, but something few of us can sustain in the long run. It often seems there’s a secret to getting through the rough patches of a marriage or LTR once the honeymoon phase is long gone. Even in the case of true love, we find that there is far more involved in learning how to get love to last for the long-term.

The trouble that most people struggling to keep a positive relationship afloat face is failing to understand that no long term relationships are perfect. All romantic relatinoships require consistent work, no matter how well-matched two partners may be. For those of us wondering how to make it through those rough patches, it helps to know the basic truth about long-term romances. Read on to see what truths most people have to learn the hard way about making it work.



IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL TO QUESTION YOUR LTR

“When true love finds you, you’ll know it”. That is the common misconception that ruins so many good relationships. It’s part of human nature to ask questions, so it makes perfect sense that you may have a little doubt about whether or not you should be with your significant other maybe even major doubt. When the doubt creeps in every now and then, know that it is healthy, and normal. If you are having persistent doubts that are difficult to shake, however, it may be time to address those concerns with your significant other.

YOU’LL BE ATTRACTED TO OTHER PEOPLE AND EVEN TEMPTED  A BIT.
Being in love doesn’t automatically shut down what makes you attracted to other people. Though your feelings of happiness may be true, it won’t prevent temptation from creeping into the mix. It is common for people in a LTR to be attracted to others and even develop a crush from time to time. Keep your eyes open and be honest with yourself and your lover. By firmly establishing yourself as committed to your partner, you will be ready to fight whatever temptation comes your way.

YOU MAY GET “BORED” IN YOUR LTR
When you think about all the adventurous antics of your single days, the steady, day-to-day sameness of your romantic life can seem a bit boring. This is one of the biggest secrets of the long-term life– your romantic partnership will be boring more often than not. It’s no surprise that the heightened excitement, lust, and passion of a new romantic interest is seemingly more interesting than the same person over 15 - 25 years, but there is much more to a romance than escaping boredom. As you work towards strengthening your relationship, you’ll realize that your focus is on building a positive future, rather than reveling in the constant uncertainty that short-term flings provide. With the right person, you will be able to find happiness and excitement throughout your daily lives.

 VULNERABILITY IS BEST
The best experience you can have in a LTR is truly being known and loved anyway. The truly vulnerable moments where you and your S.O. both know each other’s deepest identities can only be experienced in a romance. It can be scary to get this close to someone, but it’s the only way to deepen your L.T.R. and make it last long term.

 FIND WAYS TO BE INDEPENDENT IN YOUR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS
A new lover can feel like a whirlwind, making you want to stay with your loved one every waking moment. As your LTR wears on, however, you’ll realize the need for your own interests and space. Be sure to keep your other hobbies alive and well, making them a regular part of your life. By nourishing these outside interests, you’ll be able to keep your romance from being stifled or getting jealous when your significant other is spending time with their own hobbies.


Final thoughts

"If ever you are in my arms again."

Even LTR have expiration dates. Don't assume it's forever, until death do you part. That romantic forever after sounds great but that may not be in the cards you and your partner were dealt. You may just get to a point were 25 or even 50 years might be were you take note of the expiration date/time and call it quits . Unless you make divorce a never ever consideration. So make it as great as possible while it lasts....

Lift her up,
and never "put her down!"

Do You Know The top 3 Secrets That Could Make Love Last.

Well, in the beginning,
 we didn't know either... 

“You have been the summary of my entire existence; my biggest weakness, my greatest strength. The weathers of my life start and end with you. You complete me.” – Sapan Saxena

Falling in love is an amazing feeling. At first, everything seems so intense and beautiful. Even when the honeymoon feeling begins to fade, relationships fall into that comfortable place where everything just seems happy. To keep that feeling, and to keep that love and relationship going strong, takes a bit of work on both partner’s parts.

Continuing to love someone and make a relationship work brings joy to everyone’s life, and researchers have now found the perfect way to make a love continue to go strong forever. Relationship experts have long been doling out advice on how to keep your relationship strong and your love burning bright. Now, three secrets are going to be revealed that will help your love last forever.

OPEN COMMUNICATION ABOUT YOU AND YOUR PARTNER’S NEEDS.

Sometimes, we tend to expect our partners to be able to read our minds. Communication is key in any relationship, but what will make a relationship last forever is a very specific kind of communication: communicating your needs. Perhaps your partner is running late for a date that you’ve been planning for weeks. In your own head, you may feel like this means that your partner doesn’t care about your time together, and when they finally arrive, you give them the cold shoulder. On the other hand, your partner was actually held up at work and couldn’t get out of it, and they didn’t really mean to be late. All they could think about was getting to your important date on time.

In his book ‘Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstanding ‘, Dr. Aaron T. Beck writes, “When spouses’ high expectations are thwarted, they are prone to jump to negative conclusions about the partner’s state of mind and the state of the marriage. Interpreting a partner’s motives in this way is fraught with danger, simply because we cannot read other people’s minds.”

Without communicating your needs – in this case, the need for your time to be respected – your partner isn’t going to understand that their lateness hurt you, and you won’t know that your partner was thinking about you the entire time. Communicating what you need in these kinds of situations will keep both you and your partner happy, but also open the line of communication for compromising in situations.

When you tell your partner that you would appreciate a text or phone call if they were going to be late, you’re communicating your needs and letting your partner know how to better love you – which means your partner will do the same. Being open and honest about your needs, and receptive about your partner’s needs, is the key to a strong relationship. This will keep your love lasting forever.

Pick the right combination and
 Iet the magic happen

GET RID OF ANY UNSPOKEN RULES.

Just the same way you can’t read your partner’s mind, they can’t read your mind either! When something feels obvious to you, it may not be obvious to them. When you find yourself becoming upset over something your partner has done, or not done, or said, or not said, take a step back and ask yourself what you expected your partner to do instead. If it isn’t something obvious that any polite adult would know to do, maybe it’s become an unspoken rule that your partner isn’t aware of. This can happen in the reverse as well, if your partner becomes upset over something you didn’t know to do.

A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unspoken) needs.

Take some time to sit down together and air out those “unspoken” rules. Make them spoken, and then decide if they’re arbitrary or if you need them at all. A lot of the time, you’ll find that the answer is actually “No”. Relationships that work have an open and honest understanding of what is expected in the relationship from both partners. When you start laying out the expectations that you have for the relationship, both you and your partner will be able to love one another better – and for longer.

ASSUME THE BEST OF EACH OTHER

We humans sometimes make it a habit to assume the worst of people. Fortunately, the “worst” is most often not the case, especially when it comes to our loved ones!


One of the biggest challenges in communication in relationships is that it is easy to misinterpret or be misinterpreted.  People often assume the worst possible interpretation instead of asking for clarification. This behavior makes mountains out of molehills and causes friction in marriages. It also leads to unwarranted over reactions, which can destroy a happy marriage,” says Mike Tucker, speaker and director for Faith For Today Television.

Learning to assume the best out of your partner will both ease a lot of arguments and tension, as well as keep your love flowing endlessly between the both of you. Of course, you would want your partner to assume the best of you, considering that you’re often trying your best!

So, take that urge to assume the worst and twist it around so that you can create a positive, loving environment in your relationship. Talk about things that are upsetting you quickly and without assuming what the other party meant until your partner is able to fully articulate their intentions.

"Make it  last forever!"

Final thoughts:

Loving someone should be the easiest thing in the world to do! All you have to do is take a few steps back then forward and make sure that your communication doesn’t falter. You’ll be amazed by how wonderful and positive your life is when you utilize these secrets to making your love last. OK now I know... maybe I'll get it right next time! 

Read the signs.... these 7 are crystal clear.

I show it, without saying it! 

 Signs Love is a strong possibility, Even if it's not being Said.

Men and women display their love and affection in different ways. Most women say, “I love you,” profusely and often, while most men show their deep affinity in their day to day actions.

It can be confusing at times, but that’s because the truth is, men and women think differently. So, I decide to do some research for you and come up with a list of seven common sets of behaviors that directly demonstrate that he is in love with you, even if he doesn’t say it.

We truly believe that love is in what you do, not always in what you say. It’s easy to say, “I love you,” but true love is demonstrated in action.

A quick disclaimer:
 I'm no an expert but I did all of the following and still got divorced. I hope my son's  don't Follow my examples on the mistakes, but the following 7 I know we're not mistakes.

1. I'M NOT AFRAID TO MAKE SACRIFICES FOR YOU.

Making sacrifices for other people is easier to do when its for someone we care about. It takes selflessness, maturity, and most of all love. Relationships need a balance of mutual sacrifice or one party is left unhappy.

Men who are in love feel tremendous discomfort at the thought of their lady being unhappy, and if it’s something they can prevent, they will. Sometimes they will even go above and beyond to make something work out, just because it’s really important to their partner.

If your man can make sacrifices for your happiness, that is just one way he is saying, “I love you”, without actually saying it.

2. I LISTEN TO YOU.

Studies have found that women are much better listeners than men.  So, when a man not only hears you but actively pays attention and responds – a skill called active listening – you can have confidence that he cares.

Taking it a next step further, if he acts on your conversations, he’s smitten. 💘



3. I SHOW MY VULNERABILITY, AT TIMES

Men are generally cautious when it comes to showing any behavior that can be perceived by others as a weakness. We feel that we need to keep a perfect facade of strength.

But when we men are in love, we begins to let oir guard down. We becomes more comfortable and allows our real feelings to show. Vulnerability can take time, but if shown even an ounce, I trusts you enough to let my guard down around you.

4. I LOVES HOW YOU LOOK ON YOUR “WORST DAYS”. 

Most people put effort into looking their absolute very best during those early dates. We want to look and feel good when meeting up with a potential  partner.

But, once the actual relationship spawns and we spend more time with each other, comfort levels build, and our need to impress declines sharply. We men are OK with you  wander around in your pajamas, no makeup or messy hair.

The big take away here is that when a man loves a woman, he’ll think she is beautiful no matter what she looks like.

So when I tell you, “You’re beautiful,” even though you feel like a mess, take it for what it is and remember that is the equivalent to saying, “I love you!”

5. I'M PROUD OF YOU.

I know how important your career is to you, I sill hate seeing you pack for another trip.

When we men really love a woman, we show it by bragging about you. Yup, that’s right a real man isn’t shy about saying how proud he is of you.

Whether you’re a fantastic mother, a hard worker, or achieving your goals, you can rest assured that your efforts don’t go unnoticed to the man that is in love. So when we men tell you, it’s our way of saying, “I love you.”



6. I WILL STICKS UP FOR YOU.

This one’s obvious one, but very important. First lets be clear, if I don’t stick up for you, it doesn’t mean I  don’t love you. This is a hard one. Most of the time drama and controversy can arise with a close family member or friend.

Most men like to avoid controversy, so if I defends you, that’s big and it’s definitely my  way of saying, “I love you.”

7. I TREATS YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH RESPECT.

This is the last of my top 7, it is surely one of the MOST important. It’ s a given that in any relationship, a man should automatically show you, your family and friends respect.  The reason is simple; I care for you and I need to properly treat them with care as well.

Final thoughts
While I may not like every single one of your family members or  “catty” friends, I’ll keep my opinion to myself, because I knows how much they mean to you. Creating a good report with them is definitely my way of showing you I love you, without actually saying it....

Nothing feels better than REVENGE. Don’t get mad. Get even!

How sweet was that revenge?

Even though it's very tempting to ascribe to that saying, but I think a better one-- if possible-- is to  lose the person, their name on Social media,  phone number, address  and email id, or make yourself scarce to the point of oblivion.  Getting even can be a high energy project that is too consuming of your own mental and physical resources to make it worthwhile.  What with high BP, I wouldn't recommend getting too intense about revenge.  Consider cutting your losses and move to where you are free from this association, like a Caribbean Island.

Aren't you happier here in the Caribbean?

    However  If you still care  about the person, you could try to do what Jesus would do, and turn good for evil in the hopes of turning the person around to a better life, showing them the way unless he/she is already over the edge.   Just wave....

Your sense of betrayal will fade if you let it go and don't keep reminding yourself of it; you can find solace in being the better person and realizing you are by not continuing the cycle of hurting and being hurt.  The immediacy of the betrayal is still driving your feelings, but it will dissipate.  It is hard to read your story without wondering what drove the person to do this;  it is hard to believe there wasn't something or some provocation that caused this concerted effort.  You might reflect on that a bit more before taking any actions in order to understand why what happened.  Getting even might just create another round of revenge you wouldn't want to deal with. The Best revenge may be becoming friends with some new folks who just like hanging out with you and enjoy your company!

This is just so B.A.D.....

Don't assume, the things  you can't confirm!

It’s known for a fact that people with strong opinions and powerful personalities can be often mistakenly seen as arrogant and dominant. Sadly, they can be misinterpreted only by insecure and small-minded beings.

Some of them will perceive you as arrogant, maybe even rude.  Others will think of you as a dominant person. However, all of these opinions are just opinions, caused
by your great deal of self-confidence that leaves them intimidated by your strong traits.

People feel threatened by a powerful personality because they don’t understand how someone can be so comfortable with themselves without having a care in the world of what you might think of them.

Here are some power personality traits that might scare some people:

 You don’t need attention

People with this type of personality are known to be the most low-key individuals you’ll ever meet. They don’t have the time nor energy to waste on meaningless attention-seeking acts.

They radiate self-confidence and determination. Life taught them how to stand their ground, so don’t expect them to come begging for a pinch of attention.

However, despite their lack of neediness, their charisma often attracts a lot of people and the amount of socializing is not because they’ve asked for it but because people like to have them around.

 You are not concerned with pleasing everyone

Strong people won’t feel the need to constantly impress others, on the contrary, they’ll work on their true personality no matter how unfitting someone might find it.

Yes, you’ll never stop treating others with respect, but that doesn’t mean respecting someone by underestimating yourself.

People with powerful personalities will always reveal their true colors, and if someone is feeling intimidated and can’t accept it, then so be it!

 You don’t put up with excuses

Strong people will never waste their precious time putting up with excuses. They’ll go out of their comfort zone and choose to make the best of it.

You hate small talk

I’ll speak from my personal point of view. I mean come on… Those awkward talks about “what’s new” or the usual dull talk about the weather with a person you haven’t seen in years is definitely out of the question.

Real, raw talks about emotions, energy, the universe, the unknown give me the goosebumps and bring a tear to my eye, whenever it’s shared with a very dear person.

People with strong opinions are intelligent human beings. They need to converse about ideas, innovations, or creative solutions to obstacles. They need a subject that stimulates their brain and sparks their eyes whenever they talk about it. Small talk is every day’s garbage wrapped up in a dialogue.

You can’t stand ignorance and insensitivity

You can’t stand people who tend to make instant judgments about things they’re not certain about and react instinctively without even thinking.

Personality supported by strong traits such as yours are the result of being thoughtful, empathetic and well-informed.

 You stick to your morals

You stand your ground firmly and know that nothing out there can affect your balance. No matter how wrong for someone they may seem, or how different from their viewpoint they might be, your morals are your main principles that provide you guidance through life.

No one will convince you to do something that isn’t a part of your own moral system in the first place.

You admit when you’re wrong

A person that cultivates a strong-trait personality is aware of their flaws as much as their qualities. They tend to distance themselves from the EGO, the superiority of a person. Whenever a mistake is made, they’ll be honest about it and admit it.

The ball won’t always be in our court, and that is perfectly fine. Instead of being childish over an innocent mistake, people with strong personalities will admit it and move on to the next chapter.

That look you get, when I feel
you are assuming the wrong things about me.

Final thoughts

Our uniqueness makes us all special, makes perception valuable - but it can also make us lonely. This loneliness is different from being 'alone': You can be lonely even surrounded by people. The feeling I'm talking about stems from the sense that we can never fully share the truth of who we are. I experienced this acutely at an early age. 

An Alpha woman is a 10.

She is a Queen!

I CAN THINK OF 10 Things Alpha Women Need In A Relationship



My version of an Alpha women is that she portrays strength of mind and independence in every sense of the word. Accustomed to taking charge, they can intimidate some people. Alpha women are confident and ambitious and unafraid to tell people what is what. That kind of power can be off-putting for some partners who are either overly competitive with the Alpha woman or too submissive. So how can a true Alpha woman maintain a strong and healthy relationship? AS A MAN I believe "A" comes before "B"... not just in just  the Alphabet...but also Alpha  Ladies first.

1. THEY NEED TO BE CHALLENGED

A partner to an Alpha woman needs to be able to hold his own. The Alpha woman needs someone to compete with, yet someone who is secure enough in their abilities to be gracious in victory and a good sport in defeat.

2. THEY NEED TRUST

They need to know that what they tell you in confidence will stay in that relationship vault.An Alpha woman needs to feel the allowance to be vulnerable and let their guard down once in a while. They need to trust someone not to stab them in the back for personal gain.

3. THEY NEED RESPECT


The Alpha woman needs her partner to respect her decisions and not second-guess them at every turn. It is okay to challenge her before the decision is made, but not afterward. She needs her space and boundaries respected as well. This includes not being lied to for whatever reason. She respects someone who doesn’t belittle her when she is angry or put her on a pedestal she will fall off of eventually.

4. THEY NEED THEIR INDEPENDENCE

A little chill time,
no hassles please!

They need to be able to enjoy their personal passions and their friends. Alpha women don’t need a clingy person who can’t survive for a few hours without them. They want someone like them who also has a life outside of the relationship.


5. THEY NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN KEEP UP

Alpha women have things they have to do and they know no one is going to do those things for them. They are moving at a high speed, time-efficient and booked solid almost 24/7. Someone who can hang with them and their high-pressure, high-intensity environment is what they are looking for.

6. THEY NEED AN EQUAL PARTNER

Someone who is an equal partner; someone who carries their own weight in the relationship – this is who Alpha women will respect. They need someone who has their own opinions, and who has their ego in a healthy place. In other words, they need someone to walk with them, not behind them or in front of them. Their partner doesn’t need to have the same opinions, hobbies, or friends as they do. Alpha women respect a partner who is a complete and self-sufficient person on their own.

7. THEY NEED TO LAUGH

Like many people, Alpha women love someone who can make them laugh and lighten the mood in their often stressful and high-pressure lives. They need someone who can bring a smile to their face, who can tease them and be teased in return without hurt feelings on either side.

8. THEY NEED TO BE CALLED OUT WHEN NECESSARY

This one is challenging, but Alpha women need someone who is strong and secure enough to call them out on their bullsh*t. Someone to remind them that they are not perfect and that they can, in fact, make mistakes from time to time. Everyone needs their ego checked occasionally, and the Alpha woman is no exception. Their power and personality makes it necessary to have someone who will reign them in a bit when they go off the rails.

9. THEY NEED SOMEONE WHO IS INFORMED

In order to be all of these things, a partner of an Alpha woman should be informed about things from current events to esoteric knowledge. They need to be able to have an intelligent conversation with the Alpha woman and express ideas on her level. In the age of social media and information bubbles, it is important for the partner of an Alpha woman to have a well-tuned bullsh*t detector.

10. THEY NEED SOMEONE WITH TACT

What happens behind closed gates
Stays behind those gates!

Most importantly, they need someone with tact, someone who knows when to have that intense talk about something important and when to let it go.
They need someone who can handle their moods and emotions without ruffling feathers. 

Final thoughts
An Alpha woman needs someone who is thoughtful and sensitive enough to pick up on how she is feeling and broach difficult subjects in private

Marriage can end for many unspecified reasons!

Do you remember
 how we once felt about eachother?

You are no longer feeling perfect love for the person you fell in love with.

Relationships take major work. They require nurturing, love, and appreciation. No one wants to feel they are taken for granted, betrayed or misunderstood.

It takes more than friendship and commitment. Love requires the presence of trust and respect. Falling in love is easy. The difficult part is remaining in love, and committing to your partner forever.

So what cause the lack in connection, it was not all of a sudden... you surely had a hint things were on a bumpy path.



Lack of communication.

When you start a new relationship there is an abundance of sharing. Couples talk about anything and everything as they get to know each other. They fall in love with those parts that relate to one another. Unfortunately, as time goes on, communication withers. There are 4 ways that communication is affected: criticism, contempt (sarcasm and name-calling), defensiveness, and stonewalling (the silent treatment which is caused by the other three).In the comfort of knowing your partner, there is the discomfort of not wanting to ask again, or say the same thing again, as not to upset them. Communication shuts down because there is no effective way to sit and discuss issues in a healthy manner.

Now even the dog seems invisible to him! 

Feeling invisible.

After long periods of time, couples begin to take each other for granted. There is a feeling of merely existing in the relationship. Making love becomes the thing of the past. You stop touching and complimenting each other. You stop looking at one another. You begin to act like roommates rather than lovers. Love grows cold. It’s not a good idea to blame your partner for all the relationship problems. Sometimes we need distance in order to recognize how important our partner really is and retrace what made us sparkle in the first place. So it takes work!

Magnifying insecurities.

When the “in love” part vanishes, the truth of who we are starts to play. We begin to feed off each others’ insecurities. Jealousy starts to play a role in the relationship. Because we feel invisible, we begin to notice that our partner starts to behave differently with others. It’s not that he or she is cheating. It’s that we want to feel like we used to in the beginning. His insecurities are passed on to you. Her own issues began to play a huge role in how he reacts. It’s a constant battle of self worth and acceptance. The best way to move past this is to discuss the issues without blame or criticism.

 Boredom sets in.



Over time, people can change — or more often, they become who they really are. Someone who loved his steady business career may suddenly realize he always wanted to be a stand-up comedian and throw caution to the wind to chase his dreams. The kind of change that leads to love lost is always about a buried desire to be someone that’s repressed inside. It’s important to really know your partner to avoid this lost-love syndrome. A way to avoid this is to be open and accept your partner’s choices in what makes him/her happy. Changes are suppose to happen in relationships. You must go with the flow, otherwise boredom will extinguish the flame that was once the reason you fell in love. A bird flies South when it gets cold and a woman may fly to an exotic place when she gets bored.

Maybe a Solo trip
might do me some good!

Attraction is gone.

What kills attraction? The inability to have fun. You fall in a rut and can’t get out of it. You stop going out on date nights, or doing special things for your significant other. Most times it has nothing to do with physical appearance but the things that go unsaid or undone. You fell in love with that person for many reasons. It’s about revisiting those parts of the relationship. Attraction is ignited through appreciation and compassion.

 Holding on to grudges.

Nothing is worst that holding on to past resentments and grudges. The quote “forgive and forget” does not play well when we are still reclaiming hurtful situations, and they instantly affect how you feel, in the present.


Final thoughts:

Many would rather text than talk

Scientists Explain A Few Ways Technology Can Hurt Your Relationship

If you want to see me, I'll send you picture

“We are allowing technology to kill our relationships because we tend to give our phone more attention than we do our partner.” – Unknown

The above quote pretty much sums up this post in a nutshell – technology has taken over our lives, and not in a good way. Sure, technology has its benefits, giving rise to advancements in medicine and machinery, but it doesn’t do much good for humanity when it comes to smartphones. We have become utterly addicted to our mobile devices, and you don’t need any studies to prove this statement. Just look around you – you’ll likely see most people glued to their phone no matter where you go.

When it comes to relationships, this addiction has disastrous consequences. In the U.S., the average smartphone user spends 2 hours and 37 minutes on his phone per day, according to research from Statista. In Brazil, the average is nearly 5 hours! What does this mean?Basically, our phones have become a permanent extension of our hands, and we don’t pay much attention to the actual world around us. We have substituted virtual reality for reality, and it turns out that switching back and forth between the two worlds doesn’t come so easily.

Many people report that their relationships have suffered due to overuse of technology, and this doesn’t really come as a surprise when people seem to spend every second of free time on their phones.

Finally a response!

IT TAKES YOU AWAY FROM THE PRESENT MOMENT

How many times have you been engaged in a conversation with your partner, only to see them pull out their smartphone in the middle of it? They probably don’t do this on purpose, but it can make you think that your conversation isn’t as important as whatever they’re looking at on their phone. The more this happens, the less satisfied you’re likely to be in your relationship, because your partner’s attention is divided between you and their phone. In fact, in a study published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture, researchers found that 70 percent of women said that smartphones interfered with their relationship.

Eye contact and active listening are very important components of communication, both of which are compromised when smartphones come into the picture. Intimate relationships require trust and communication, and you can’t build on these when you or your partner decides to scroll through Facebook while having a conversation. It’s downright rude to stare at your phone while your partner is talking to you, because this tells them that what they have to say doesn’t matter.


TECHNOLOGY RUINS QUALITY TIME TOGETHER

Most people today don’t have a lot of free time already, but when we spend an average of 2 hours and 37 minutes on our smartphones per day, that leaves practically nothing left for real relaxation. Not to mention, the same study that found 70% of women had “technoference” in their relationships also discovered that 62% of women said technology interfered with leisure time with their partner.

The more we let technology interrupt our lives, the more our relationships will suffer. For example, when couples go out on dates now, they seem to spend more time checking their phones than talking with their partner. This creates dissatisfaction and loneliness in a relationship, and isn’t the whole point of a relationship to have someone to talk to and bond with?!

IT CREATES RESENTMENT

As I’ve already said, being on your smartphone while spending time with your partner essentially checks you out of the real world. Your attention goes to the myriad of apps and notifications on your phone, creating a distraction from your real life. It might feel nice to escape the real world for a little while, but we have taken it overboard as a society.

Final thoughts:
Think about how it feel to get a hug, and kiss on the cheek, forehead or even on the lips. Just consider doing this in person   "Before I let you go" can I get a kiss.... bye bye?

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!

I've compiled a few quotes I thought might make,  to the point, good sense.


“Married couples who  love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking.” ~ Chinese proverbs

A few Rules Every Marriage Should Follow:



There are plenty of theories on what creates happy relationships, and how to have a happier marriage. You don’t have to look far to find a plethora of quotes by scientists, authors and many others who have advised us on how to create our very own happily ever after.

I have gathered some of the best bits of advice around to help you live your happiest life together…


FIND THE GOOD

“A happy marriage doesn’t mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you’ve chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both.” ~ Fawn Weaver

It is easy to overlook the little annoyances of our partner when we’re focused on the good qualities that attracted us in the first place. Stay focused on the good.


FIND YOUR HAPPY!

“Marriage doesn’t make you happy–you make your marriage happy.” ~ Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott

Do something daily that makes you happy and your relationships will benefit. You can’t be happy in a relationship, if you aren’t happy with yourself.


FORGIVE THE IMPERFECTIONS

“A successful marriage isn’t the union of two perfect people. It’s that of two imperfect people who have learned the value of forgiveness and grace.” ~ Darlene Schacht

Forgiving is such an important ingredient in relationships. Holding on to things that make you angry keeps you in a negative space and prevent you from being your best self.


IT BEGINS WITH YOU

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” ~ Barnett R. Brickner

Trying to change your partner will only backfire so focus on your contribution. Tackle only what you can control.


MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE A PRIORITY

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. Its the way you love your partner every day.” ~ Barbara De Angelis

Stop looking at marriage as a thing and start thinking of it as part of you. Take care of it, nurture it and let it grow.


EXPRESS YOUR LOVE DAILY

“The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re still alive.” ~ Orlando Battista

Be open with your expressions of love.


SAVOR THE GOOD

“Marriage is like a fine wine, if tended properly, it just gets better with age.” ~ Unknown

Appreciating and enjoying the good in your relationship attracts more good and your relationship becomes stronger and better.


MAKE SELF-CARE A PRIORITY

“One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is your own wholeness.” ~ Stormie Omartian

You can’t take care of your relationships if you aren’t taking care of yourself. Make it a priority.


LEARN FROM THE PAST AND DREAM OF THE FUTURE

“Marriage. It’s like a cultural hand-rail. It links folks to the past and guides them to the future.” ~ Diane Frolov

Find the lessons from the past and use them to help you shape your future.


LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” ~ Pearl Buck

Learn to love learning. Learning is the key to growth and evolution. And growth is the key to strong relationships.


LIVE IN THE NOW

“Love like there’s no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.” ~ Max Lucado

Stay focused on what really matters and don’t let life’s distractions keep you from living in the moment.


CELEBRATE THE BEST OF EACH OTHER

“In marriage, when we honor and celebrate each other, we’re freed up to be the best people we can be.” ~ Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott

Make every day a celebration of the good in your relationship and in each other.


BE KIND AND GENEROUS

“A good marriage is a contest of generosity.” ~ Diane Sawyer



Do something special every day. A little note, a surprise cup of coffee or simple phone call just to say hi, will go a long way to showing your partner how much you value them.


Final Note: I don't want to be free, there is no way I'm living without you!

Never under estimate what it takes to get to a man's heart!

Sometimes it's the simple things that grabs a man's attention.

Who knew that just chilling and being myself would get me noticed!

Genuine and true love is so rare that when you encounter it in any form, it’s a wonderful thing, to be utterly cherished in whatever form it takes.”
 – Gwendoline Christie

We all talk about love, (those wo have experiencedit at some point) and how we felt it at those points in time in our lives, but how exactly is love defined?

Love is about an expansion of the self whereby another person’s interests, values, social network, and finances become part of your life just as you share your resources with them. Love does not mean that you give up everything for another person. Rather, you possess sufficient trust to give them the keys to things that you can access, and grant that person equal access.

Ladies-----if you think it's special for you  to know a few things that men want a woman to do, to keep his interest ....Getting that special someone’s attention can be difficult in some cases. You want to show him that you’re everything he’s ever wanted and needed, but how? Actresses from romantic comedies have been doing it for ages, but translating that into the real world isn’t quite the same. There are some important things to remember when you’re looking to get a guy to fall in love with you. If you follow the right steps, you might   succeed. By doing the following:

BE YOURSELF.... NOT FAKE.

Clinical psychologist Merry Lin writes in her book ‘The Fully Lived Life’,Faking your way through life is believing that if you let people know the real you, they won’t like you. The tapes that play in your head (on replay) says that if people really knew what was going on inside you, they would lose respect for, and interest in you. While you play those roles, juggling those masks you have to wear and hiding your pain … the pressure increases to keep pretending you have it all together.

Therefore, none of this  connecting with someone will work if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not! You want the guy to fall in love with the real you, not someone you’re pretending to be. So, ditch your who/what ever character from the end of your favorite movie  persona and just be who you are.... it will yield you better results.

2. LOOK YOUR BEST, AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

OK ,you might not have to go on a diet and change your hair to look your best. All you have to do is maximize your best features and make sure that you look as good as possible. Your beauty is unique, and may not need any major changes.

3. LISTEN AND TALK LESS

Having good communication skills is about more than being able to communicate effectively. It’s also about being able to actively listen.

No matter how bad things are, give a guy a chance to speak. We all tend to jump in with an opinion before we’ve heard each other out. Don’t scream, keep your cool: it makes a big difference, your tone makes a big difference. So often, things can be resolved/discussed by learning to listen.

Men can have a lot to say (surprise) and when you show that you can listen, men will be more inclined to say the things that matter.

4. LAUGHT- DO NOT GIGGLE

It’s proven that laughter is contagious. So, when you’re laughing, you’re setting off chemicals in a guy’s brain that feel good. It can be totally addictive. If you’re trying to attract a guy, laughter is the best way to draw him in and keep him wanting more.

5. HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE

People with poor attitudes are often extremely negative and not fun to be around. Having a good attitude about things, especially when things might not be going right for you, is extremely attractive and charming. A guy is going to be drawn to your ability to stay positive, inspite of what you are going through.

Plus, by taking care of what you need to in your own life, you bring out a more positive attitude back into the relationship. The other person will start to treat you differently—without you having done anything major other than shifting to a positive energy in your own life.

6. BE SWEET NOT SOUR
Everyone has the ability to be a little mean –these days- but there’s no reason to be.... if you are attracted to someone! Turn off the part of your brain that wants to be catty and try being kind and sweet instead. Any guy will find that attractive. After all, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.... can result in: "I'm so into you, let the feelings flow!"

Are You Dealing With A Sincere Man?

I lift you up, so that you can look me in the eye
 when I answer your questions!

“Honesty is the best policy.” – Benjamin Franklin

Ladies, do you want to know whether your Significant Other is sincere? Is that significant YES? No problem! I have some signs for you today to show that your man is a fountain of truth. I know you are champing at the bit to find out, so let me take a look and see what they are.

HE EMPOWERS YOU.

He sings your praises, both in your presence and your absence. He knows you like the back of his hand and what you are capable of, and will stop at nothing to make sure you meet your goals, whatever they may be. When a real man give a compliment, you know deep down that what he says is for real. There is no ulterior motive for what he says.

On the other hand, a man who gives you a backhanded big-up does so in order to change and/or condition you in some form or other. Examples of which could be:

– “You’re pretty for a *insert descriptive word here* girl.”

– “You’re a good driver for a woman.”

– “You finally look as good as you did when we first met!”

HE FIGHTS FAIRLY.

Too many people have to resort to name-calling and the dreaded blame game, which can put the “mental” in “detrimental” in terms of any relationship, let alone a supposedly loving one.  Here are some examples from Hey Sigmund‘s Karen Young that sincere people do to fight fairly:

– “Don’t fear conflict.”

Conflict is normal and healthy and is an opportunity for growth. Fearing it will just make you avoid it, thus issues will fester and become worse.

– “Attack the issue, not each other.”

You are both on the same side, so tackle what is wrong with the situation, not your partner. If you go after your partner, resentment can creep in and withdrawal can occur.

– “Stay with the issue at hand.”

No veering off on a tangent or winning the argument with the oft-used “I’m right, you’re wrong!” spiel. Look to conflict resolution, not cheap points scoring.

– “Be open about what you need.”

After all, there is nobody on this planet that can read your mind. Bottling things up is hazardous and can lead to imploding with some ugly consequences.

– “Stay away from “always” and “never” in fights.”

These two evil twins are more dangerous than Ronnie and Reggie Kray in their heyday. All these words do is add fuel to the fire. They are off limits in all circumstances.


HE WANTS THE SAME THINGS AS YOU.

Imagine this scenario: You have been dating him for a while now and are dying for him to get down on bended knee and pop the question. At a dinner at your married friend’s house, he declares the question you want so badly is out of the question for him. How do you feel? How does your friend and her husband feel for you?

A sincere man with good intentions tells you exactly what he wants out of the relationship with no stone unturned. Do you both want to marry? Do you both want kids? What are your professional aspirations for each other? Do you agree on living arrangements? If you do not know this by now, ask him and see how he reacts.

HE PRIORITISES THE RELATIONSHIP OVER OTHER THINGS.

He makes sure that things do not interfere with the integrity of the relationship with you. He lets you know of his plans to go out with the boys to let off some steam if you both have already had date night(s) earlier in the week. He will steer clear of temptation with other women, because he is mature and would never risk what he has at home. Of course, he would also let you let your hair down with the girls so YOU can let off steam.


On the other side of the coin, if everything else is higher than you on his priorities list, then you need to watch closely at what he does and how he acts and decide whether if this is justified or not. If not, you need to know if this will change in the near future or if you are flogging a dead horse.

HE IS A GOOD COMMUNICATOR.

This one has been left until last....because we know ..this guy is in the minority . we men are almost never good communicators... however we can be if we are passionate about a subject... and you are the subject then we can articulate at  great length

THERE ARE WAYS TO ATTRACT THE PERSON YOU WANT

Wow, where have you been
all my life? 

On some level, we all desire to be seen, to be noticed, and to be understood. There are different levels to this desire, where at times we want fleeting connections with friends and acquaintances. Other times, we want to be noticed by the person we feel a strong attraction to, even a romantic connection with.

When we want someone, we tend to try to get their attention in a variety of ways. Psychologists have figured out ways for people to get noticed and grab the attention that they desire. Here are the top three ways that psychologists have said will help you get noticed by the person you want.



“If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s not being noticed.” – Steve Sabol

Attracting someone to you can be as easy as 1,2 and 3.

1. SHOW POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Positivity is something that goes a long way. There’s so much power in positivity. Psychologists have shown that even just thinking positive thoughts can improve someone’s mood. Positivity is also incredibly potent when it comes to making other people like you. Psychologists all agree that if you want to get noticed by someone that you want, then you’ll need to start showing positive emotions. Smile more often and laugh.

Smiling and laughter is known to be contagious. When you’re hanging around someone that you want to notice you, smiling and laughing will be sure to get them looking your way. Not only that, but the smiling and laughter will be a way to ensure that the person you want will associate you with positive emotions. When someone associates you with positive emotions, they may  want to hang out with you more often.


The take-home message is that positive emotions are worth cultivating, not just as end states in themselves but also as a means to achieving psychological growth and improved well-being over time.

2. TALK ABOUT SHARED VALUES

People want to spend time with other people who share their values. Someone who believes in being a good person and telling the truth will want to share their time with people who also believe in being a good person and telling the truth. Someone who has those values wouldn’t want to spend time with people who lie a lot or are rude to others. Likewise, someone who likes to gossip wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who has a moral issue with gossiping.

Ask yourself, what values do you have, and what values do you share with the person that you want to notice you? Be honest with your values, and don’t try to pretend you’re something you’re not. Talk about the values that you share with the person that you want to notice you. Emphasizing your shared values will get someone to be more open to noticing you.

3. USE THEIR NAME OFTEN

 Using people’s names is one of the quickest ways to get someone to notice you. Not only that, but it’s the quickest way to get people to keep on noticing you. When someone hears their own name, it helps validate their own reality, and makes them feel more endeared towards the person that is speaking.

So, if you’re looking to get someone to notice you, make sure you use their name. Not only will they notice you, but they’ll also associate you with positive emotions. Being associated with positivity will draw the person you want to you, again and again. Don’t be afraid to use their name, or their title if it’s applicable.  If you want to get a person to notice you, then it’s important to let them know you see and you  acknowledge  them.

We finally connected
"SOUL-TIE"

Final thoughts

If you want to get someone to notice you, then you have to know the way the human brain works. It may be tempting to use some gimmicks like dressing up, flirting, or making yourself seem more noticeable. This might work in the short term, but part of getting the person you want to notice you is keeping them coming back for more of what makes them feel good about associating with you. Here is the catch:

Ladies don't be a woman who needs a man, but instead be the woman a man needs.

Gents don't be a man who needs a woman, instead be the man a woman needs.

This way there will be no codependency!

Are you an "in the meantime chick?"

I 'm only interested in LTR.

Nobody is perfect, even though I'm sure there are some people out there that think they are. Building a loving relationship that is predicated on a mutual feeling of intimacy and appreciation is one of the cornerstones of life. Everyone — even the most perfect individuals — has flaws that can impede our path to a perfect relationship. Self knowledge is one way we can determine our strengths and weaknesses to build a more rounded life for ourselves, and connect with a new person entering into our life.

It's important to look at compatibility  to really understand ourself on a new level, as we are getting into a new relationship. IM NOT an  expert in how the signs help shape us as individuals and in relationships, it's really about authenticity. "We can't rely on just our gut feeling to give us excuses. I think that if we're cultivating our selves it's important to be aware of our patterns. It's important to have a balance of recognizing our own patterns and our personal role we play to facilitate growth, which allows us to be open to new relationships.

While so much data, on someone,plays an important role in making decisions, especially romantic ones, it shouldn't be the final decision in a relationship. You don't truly know someone based on their data, but you have an idea about what makes them tick and what makes them feel comfortable. Even though the mistakes that a person is more likely to make based off of their history are important to acknowledge,  that real understanding of the innet person is impact on a relationship requires in-depth analysis. When you do a relationship reading,have a drink date  it's an intense process. It's a fraction of someone's identity, that we are seeing. While looking at some signs is helpful, it's not going to give you a whole picture. Only years of being together can give you a better picture. the way you are  looking at the person now requires time to further understand layers of that person this requirers a careful reading.

If you're trying to get an understanding of potential mistakes you or your new partner might make in a relationship, here are some flaws, that can be a determining factor, to be aware of as you go into the world of love.


FORGIVENESS IS KEY
Two people entering into a LTR relationship are bound to offend each other and even hurt one another at times, no matter how positive they try to be. When this happens, it’s important to always communicate with your significant other about how you feel and what you would like to change in the future. Once things are discussed, it is important to exercise forgiveness and move past any hurt feelings.

 YOUR SEX DRIVE WILL CHANGE DURING YOUR ROMANTIC LIFE
Dry spells in one’s sex life can happen to anyone. Be sure to be open with your partner about your sexual desires, as well as anything that may have recently changed for you. The secret to sexual desire in a romance is that it must be worked at on a regular bases.

Ladies..... you might want to  understand what the true meaning is of being an "In the meantime chick!" If you want to be in an LTR (Long Term relationship)
these day many dynamics come into play as we are trying to be very  careful with our feelings.  If you are upfront about not being an "In the Meantime chick" then maybe... maybe you can avoid the situation where you will become the one that you don't want to become. which is the space filler woman in his life while he is still searching for the one he want to be in an LTR with!

What's love got to do with it?

Love is a mysterious phenomenon and has been heavily studied in scientific and psychological circles. The reasons people fall in love are as unique as the person making the statement.   The scientific reasons however, fall into three broad categories.     The biological component of the emotional response. The effects of your upbringing on your choice of long term partner and the context you find yourself in where your two personalities mesh together. The more compatible your personalities and the more inline your beliefs and values the more likely your emotions will stimulate a biological response that reinforces the budding feelings you already have.

HERE ARE PSYCHOLOGICAL REASONS PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE.

THE RELEASE OF DOPAMINE

The release of dopamine during the early stages of a relationship can cause feelings of happiness or excitement. Dopamine makes us feel good by stimulating certain parts of the brain. It also causes changes in other organs to include sweating and heightened senses. Things seem more colorful and vibrant or perhaps you sweat more during encounters with the object of your affection.



RELEASE OF TESTOSTERONE

Testosterone is also released when love is new causing an increase in aggressive behavior and may push a person into pursuing the person they have feelings for. Testosterone also increases sexual desire and encourages men to take risks like approaching that very attractive woman across the room.

PHEROMONES

These are chemicals that we emit, along with most other mammals and some insects, that can effect the behavior or feelings of other people near us. Our pheromones act outside our body and can change or elicit behavior from someone in close physical proximity to us or who is wearing our clothing. There is a reason women like wearing their partner’s shirt, the pheromones lodged in the shirt makes them feel something special, a closeness of some kind.

REWARD SYSTEM

Your brain is equipped with a reward system that affects the rest of the body and the body’s stimulation can lead to feelings of satisfaction and happiness within the brain. The brain uses chemicals to reward the stimulation of the body which in turn sends back its own messages to fuel a positive feedback loop. But it isn’t just the presence of actual stimulation that can fuel the feedback loop but also anticipation of stimulation can cause the brain’s reward system to kick in. I.e. you may wind up in an infinite loop... unless interrupted it can be forever.

UPBRINGING

The early part of your life teaches you about relationships in general. What to expect from them. How to maintain them. It also teaches you your role in the relationship. These early relationships and how they evolve can effect who you fall in love with and why. If you had domineering parents it might lead you to fall for someone who is like that because that is what you know and have known since childhood.

PARENT’S AGE AT BIRTH

We respond better to people who are in a similar age range to our parents when we were born. So if we are born to older parents we will respond better to the facial cues in faces older faces. Men respond better to female faces that are in the same age range as their mother when they were born.

“THE THREE TIERS”

People connect along three tiers; The Parent, the Child and the Adult. The Parent is what you have been taught and centers around your beliefs and values. The Child is what you have felt and centers around how much you enjoy playing, having fun and enjoying each other’s company. The Adult is what you have learned and centers around how intelligent or capable you thing your partner is. People who connect along each tier are more likely to have long and fulfilling relationships.

HOW ATTENTIVE WE ARE

Everyone elicits small bids for their partner’s attention throughout the day. How we respond to that bid for attention either by turning toward our partner or away from them can be an indicator of how long you will be in that ... infinite loop which can branch off into another direction.