10 Secrets Men Keep From Women!

Sometimes men withhold information and some times we straight up lie. But most of the time these secrets we have are totally justifiable. at least in our minds.. Let me explain why;

We still check out other women. But I suspect you know that anyway. It’s totally natural to notice healthy and attractive members of the opposite sex, you must have done it yourself occasionally?  Or  you would not have noticed me. The reason we deny this is purely to spare your feelings. We don’t want to cause drama by making you jealous or make you feel insecure. If we weren't attracted to you more than anyone else, we wouldn't be with you! take chill pill and call me when you calm down!

When we first met, we stalked your Facebook profile first thing the next day. And I mean stalked you posts you comments to others post etc..... We checked out all your photos  and all your statuses. We wouldn't want to freak you out by sharing that information too early! Simply because might think it is "creepy", however because of social media we can be voyeurs and get away with it. No harm not foul. We suspect you do the same things.

We watch adult films. Not as often as we used to, but we still do it. We keep this information private, once again, to stop you feeling insecure. we are adult here... habits are hard to break, cold turkey. don't make us feel like it's an either or situation. If you do..... at least one of us will be disappointed.

We love it when you have girl’s night out. We might tell you we wish you were staying in with us, but truthfully, we've already started setting up the games console or downloading the latest action movie. checking out the NBA play-offs.. and not having to deal with  " can I change the channel"  questions.  It’s nice to have a bit of space every now and then. Absence makes the heart grown fonder etc.

Hair in the drain and hair extensions creep us out. We won’t mention it, but we certainly won’t touch it. Walking into the bathroom to find clip in human hair hanging from the towel rail is quite disturbing. It looks great when it’s in your hair but when it’s out, we’d rather not have to see it. We start wondering what else is fake?????


We’re glad when you bring up serious topics. I’m talking moving in, kids, marriage or pets. If you bring it up then we don’t have to. The reason we don’t want to is that we just don’t know how to get into these deep conversations. We can still feel a bit uncomfortable at first but it makes us more grateful you’re willing to put these topics out there.

Bight lipstick is not cool. You look great, you don’t need neon pink or bright orange lipstick. One peck from you in the morning leaves us paranoid all day that we’re wearing it....

We like compliments. A real man isn't afraid to tell a woman she looks great but every now and then we could do with a compliment too, even an exaggerated one such as “You look incredible handsome this morning” will make us smile and will show us you care. Or we start feeling like your love is blinding you to facts that.. the hairline is trying to connect the crown that is already bald.

We were nervous the first time we were thinking about  having  sex with you... close up. Maybe you didn't notice, I'm sure it you think about you will say "Ooooh Yeah"   because you were nervous yourself. We play it cool but what were thinking is, “Don’t climax too early,( in my pants) don’t wait for too long to make the right move, don’t make any strange noises, don’t pull strange faces…”

Sometimes we’re just not in the mood.  OK nix the idea that we are thinking about sex 24/7. we can be disinterested due to stress sometimes. Or If we've just had a huge meal, don’t ask for an ‘early night’. Wait for our food to go settle down , if you can stay awake that late… the beat is on!

These are just the top 10 Things Women Expect Men to Know How To Do!

 I believe in pulling my weight in a relationship— But that doesn't change the fact that there are just some things that I wish — most women—would stop expecting men to  know how to do, these  skills they believe are basically etched into our Y chromosome.  MY BAD response is: why do I need to know how to do everything you think I should be able to do? Not all of us are  up to code? To a woman you need to make her  swoon or at least not cringe, you’d better be able to handle the following…Fellahs.. Or she will look at you with that  look, " you really don't know how to do that? then you can't handle me!"

1. Handling a Grill

I’m talking gas and charcoal, people. Burgers, dogs, chicken, veggies, the works. Bonus points if you can do that thing where you cook corn,  in tin foil.
Here is my BAD perspective as to why this is important: She want you to be able to handle her fire, get her started, then  make her cook, simmer and be able to handle her flare ups by  cool  her down and cater to her appetite  for whatever she has a taste for. 

2. Drive Stick Shift

Nope, I don’t know why women think this sexy ...  she may not know how to do it. She may not care to learn or even intend to  ever have a stick-shift car. But she  assumes you know how to drive one.
Now here again is my BAD perspective as to why this is so very  important: She want you to be able to handle her by shifting gears, get her rolling in first gear, then  make her accelerate in 2nd gear, start  coasting in third gear,and be at cruising speed in gears 4 and 5, while handling her needing  your undivided  attention, yet keeping your eyes on the road. then,  if she   suddenly needs  us to begin slowing down,  we need to know how  to down-shift and slowdown and even stop, if when she become less enthusiastic about the ride you are taking her on.

3. Change a Tire
women  should probably know how to do this too. (they  swear, their  Dad taught them ,but have that  "I’m going to learn some day, attitude. a man should definitely know how to do this.
Here is my BAD perspective as to why this  so important: She does not want to have her mobility impacted if  something can be fixed preventing her from  moving at her pace. Just remember  her appetite  for change is based on change being able to happen without restrictions.So handle it!

4. Operate a Drill
And use it to hang a heavy, framed piece of artwork—straight. may sure you have level handy to make sure you got right.
Here is my BAD perspective as to why this important: She want you to be able to handle her spinning around a subject( like is this the right dress for this evening, or this one?) , speed drips revolve at great speed.You have  to be able to hold it steady and drill with precision. handle the revolutions and not  shift! she will test you with question that you better know which speed to apply with a correct answer. example: the red dress is perfect... if that is the one she has in her right hand, you better know if she right handed, or then it her left hand ( you better know the correct hand )

5. Troubleshoot a Broken Appliance
Sometimes the fix requires a professional. But I at least she wants you to be able to do some diagnostic work to reach that conclusion.
Here is my BAD perspective as to why this is important: "OK what is wrong ?"  her response " I can't find my whatever, honey" she want to find out what happened and  you should instinctively know how you should  correctly analyze what is going wrong with her that day, and understand what you can fix and fix it, but yet not try to fix what you can't fix. example: "I feel so bloated, and my head hurts!"   You can't fix that but you can be understanding....

6. Assemble Furniture—IKEA or Otherwise
this is a Royal pain in the ass, but someone’s gotta do it. And that someone is you, fellah.
Here is my BAD perspective as to why this is important: She want you to re assemble what another man designed..... but he is not around to put it together.. meaning you can read the instruction and do it right and have the end result be exactly the way she pictures it in her mind, or what she saw  in someone else home.

7. Use a Lawn Mower
For that big yard she believes she  will have some day, and you need to mow that lawn.
now here is my BAD  basic analysis as to why this important: She want you to make sure we will handle the maintenance in the relationship. Don't be  a slacker..... who will let things go. She wants to make sure you understand that this is a requirement that you have to meet. If you are going to be in a relationship with her.

8. Find Your Way Around
Or at least not be too ashamed to ask for directions.
Here is my BAD perspective as to why this is important: a short story... My ex-wife always swore I have been some where before, and that I I had an internal compass that gave me a sense of direction she did not have.. no matter where I was that guided me, a new city or even a foreign Country. We were in Tiananmen Square in Beijing China,I was approached by some young medical students from Shanghai.. who were curious about America etc. I stood and spoke to them and the group I was with. including my wife and sons continued on the tour and left me behind. when I realized what happen I calmly walk back to the buses and sat down and waited. My ex-wife was hysterically crying that she lost her husband in China. I Laughed Out Loud. and calmly asked her: "how do you loose a 6'1' 220 lbs. Black man in China?" no one else looks like me here. I can find my way even if  I don't have a map, because I remember where I came from. Maybe she was crying because she was planning to divorce me but was not quit ready at that point to loose me for good (without having her terms etched in stone first).

9. Free a Stuck Car (Thank God, I No long have to deal with  Winter storms)
Whether by shoveling, pouring salt & kitty litter, or pushing with our own bare hands.
Here is my BAD perspective as to why this is important: she want you to get her unstuck no matter how dismal the situation is .  period... just get her out of the mess no matter what it is.

10. Defend Your Lady
Against what, you ask? Anything and everything!
Here is my BAD perspective as to why this is important: this is a no brain-er. she want you to be her hero in shining Armor.  her Daddy was her first hero and if she has brothers who are older or uncles then they are  her her backup heroes. Now You need to step to plate and  take up armor and be able to go into battle and emerge victorious. example: there is a mouse in the house. "You need to take care of him before I get out of this bed....... don't come back to this bedroom until you have done your job, to my satisfaction." this is Clear and simple.

Tired of the same old same old? Try some home made sex toys to spice things up!

O,K I'm old school, many folks these days head to the adult toy store, to get their grove on .. 

the following are a few household items that I know works.......  it can maybe  do the trick even better because it does require you to rush out and buy anything... just use what is in your home and your imagination. 

A Feather Duster
If you have an unused duster in your closet, it feels amazing to tickle each other's skin with it. The ultra-light stroke is a tease because it turns you on without giving enough pressure to tip over the edge — so it really heightens the anticipation.

A Spatula
A rubber or silicone spatula is ideal for spanking because it's soft and flexible.A fly-swatter works just as well.

A Tie
If your guy wears a tie to work, grab the end of it, pull him in towards you for a kiss, and undo it while you're making out. Then wrap it around his eyes. (Hint: Secure the knot on the side of his head rather than the back, so that he can lay his head down comfortably.) By restricting his sense of sight, everything else you say and do to him will be intensified. And if he's not the tie type, a your scarf works just as well.

An Ice Cube and Hot Tea

Take a sip of tea, run an ice cube down her spine, and follow the trail of ice with your hot tongue.

A breath  Mint has more than just one good way to use it.

Pop a breath mint in your mouth before you go down on him to give him a tingly effect.

A Towel
Place a towel under her hips, and  hold onto either end of it during doggy style sex. He can pull on the ends of the towel to draw your body closer to him.


Vacuum
Remove the attachment so it's just a plain hose. While you're wearing your underwear, have him turn it on low and hold it over your clitoris for a sexy sucking sensation. If the sensation is too much (or your vacuum has serious sucking power), have him hold it an inch above your underwear.

A Beaded Necklace
her turn:Roll it across her lower abs and inner thighs, giving her a gentle massage.
His turn: Then coil it around his penis, and roll up and down.

Clothes Pins

Curious about dipping your toe into some S&M lite? Try pinching each other's nipples with clothespins. Go slow and start by using them for just a second or two, since some people are more sensitive than others in this area. When you release them, blood will rush back into your bull's-eyes, yielding an intense sensation.

Pillows
Prop one below your butt before sex to let him enter you more deeply. Or stack several couch pillows under your chest and hug them during doggy style for a completely different sensation. You can also position them so that they'll press against your clitoris to get an added sexy surge.

A Makeup Brush
Swirl the smooth, silky bristles across his chest over his V-zone. For a sweet treat, use it to paint his body with chocolate sauce.


these are just a few of my BAD signature items of choice!

Reasons Why Women Should Stay Single, or not!.

. It’s not always easy being single, but it also has its rewards.

these points were taken from an  article written by FARRAH GRAY on MAY 19, 2014
Yes I have gotten lazy, Farrah Gray is spoiling me. his site is so good at identifying the stuff that I would normally have to research he has already done that  for me. However I will give my BAD two cents in Italic under each point. Here you go.
So your mom, your auntie, your Grams and even your pastor seem concerned that you aren't married yet. They have all kinds of ideas of whom you should date and consider as a life partner. But you are not in a hurry. In fact, you are rather comfortable going solo for now. Here’s what’s special about you.

1. You won’t settle. You have standards and you are not lowering them just to have someone around.
You know that if you “settle,” you just won’t be into that other person totally,  and the relationship won’t last very long. women started disliking the guy they settled for in less than no time.
the term "not settling" means, in my view ----there really isn't much to choose from where you live, work, socialize etc. No woman wants to settle for what she knows will end badly in time.  Women have choices  these day. they can join groups that take over-seas trips...to exotic places. who knows you might meet Mr. I've been waiting for you all my life on the beaches of an exotic Island in the Caribbean for example. so don't settle and do not stay in you current limited environment, without venturing out for spin ,  if you want more!

2. To thine own self be true. You hear it all the time. You need to change so you can meet Mr. Right. But you know it’s important that you stay genuine, so that when the right person does come along, he’s into you and not a façade.
I see this is as having a threesome with yourself ( Me, myself and I.)  You know what your issues are....  you want someone who can accept you with all your flaws and issues. So when you think, that is not going to happen you settle (there is that word again) for your private personal threesome. change is an every day occurrence. I'm not talking about giving up the the thing you really like about yourself to meet someone half way. How about giving up your bad habits and making easier to  meet someone you can have relationship  with, half way and finding common ground that can make you less selfish and more giving. Now that does not mean giving him  the cookie way too soon, without evaluating the recipient carefully. It means lower you guard just enough to look over the fence and discover a new world of happiness. 

3. You don’t mind being alone. Oh sure you like to hang out with other people and have fun. But it’s OK with you to go home by yourself or even stay in and watch TV or do what you do. Just to have someone around for the sake of just that is not your style.
Here is my area of expertise, I'm an only child, my mother always told me to learn to play by myself. OK as a man Playing  by myself has a different meaning. I know I can have fun hanging with my threesome (Me myself and I)but after a few days I'm  talking to myself and yelling at the T.V. as the Political news get to me. Now I'm from Mars, you my fair maiden are from Venus. but I serious believe we are  not that different. We are all social beings. who we choose to socialize in our choice environments, is within our control. Make choices, test the waters.... out in the real world. Men who are loners to often become weird, my guess is women become weird also. You know  the cat lady  (with 60 cats) two door over to the  left of your place is ooh so normal, Right!. Do you think she started out that way or someone did  advise her "it's okay to be loner."

4. You can be happy. It’s not necessary for you have a mate around in order for you to be happy. And truth be told, when you do find someone, you will be such a stable person, who wouldn't want you!
Please help me out here... If you were happy alone you wouldn't be reading this stuff. because people who are happy in their status aren't interested in any other status, you are curious because you are wondering: "Is this it..? There must be more!" we are all in the business  of finding  ways to get more out of life. trust me... that person worth meeting may cross your path when you least expect it. If you are happy in you current status. you will be walking or dancing around singing Pharrel's "happy" song all to yourself and by yourself.. 

5. You know it’s just temporary. You’re comfortable knowing there is someone out there for you. You are satisfied with taking your time and being into you until the time and the person is right.
REALLY? I'll bet you, odds on favorite that with women out numbering men....and your girlfriend will beat you to the arm of Mr. Right while you are playing the waiting game, because she is not playing the waiting game, when you are thinking the wave will washing him ashore at your feet as you sit by yourself on the beach of one great Caribbean Island, or Long Island, pacific coast or where ever you choose to hedge your best that you will find someone  exciting.. and perfect  just waiting to sweep you off your feet.

Things Men Find Unattractive But Won’t Tell You

I have to thank FARRAH GRAY for these 9 point. I always thought I was the only one who thought like this as it turns out more fellows who  share these same  dislikes.

Are You  sure he is into you??? It’s a relationship not a cling fest! Here are eight bonehead moves NOT to make...... if you want the relationship to last.Ladies.

1. Needy baby greedy baby. Don’t become too dependent. Don’t abandon your friends and family and depend on him for all of your emotional needs. It’s dangerous and honestly, it’s unattractive.
women may believe going all in means giving up all that they have know for years. If a guy wants you all to himself then You have more problems than you are ready for.
2. Great expectations – it’s not just the name of a movie, it’s a relationship killer. Of course you should expect certain things: respect, civility, etc. But don’t think your relationship is a cure-all. And surely don’t expect your lover to lavish you with gifts, even if he got it like that.
Here again some women are stuck in the 19th century not even the 20th century mentality. Take Me, buy Me, Give Me. Give that security I can't possibly do for herself.
3. Remote control – don’t hog the remote control, meaning don’t be the one making all the decisions all the time. This is not about the TV. ladies. men will be willing to give up TV time to spend quality time with you.... but if you keep insisting that it is all about what you want.. never compromising. Never giving an inch. Never trying to understand that the other person wants to be in a give and take relationship. If he is the only one giving you will be alone before long. 
4. Jealousy. This is a big no-no. First of all, it’s scary. And it’s not healthy. He is going to have friends and family that he will want to spend time with, too. Slow your roll. Don’t be possessive.  If you are  on a deserted Island he might still want to call his friends to say what is the score of the Heat/ Pacers game... to ask him to just be all into you and not think about anything or anyone  else is just selfish.. 

5. Boring. Be a little spontaneous now and then. Don’t be so predictable all the time and put your relationship into a rut.
Always the same thing makes Johnie start wanting to not come over. 
6. Expecting change. Oh what a big killer! Do not expect your mate to change for you. Like and love ‘em for who men are, not what YOU think you can turn him into. I can write a whole book on how women want to change a man, but she  still wants him to remain the man who  caught her eye. Men get with women hoping she will not change, women who get with men expecting the man to change. they both  will be very disappointed in the end.. and trust me it will end BAD-ly.. 


7. Flirting with other people. It’s not nice. It’s disrespectful. It’s most likely to piss off your date and start a fuss. All for what? Make sure that you and your partner have boundaries and you know what makes him feel uncomfortable. GROW UP! You are not a display  item on  the rack looking to be bought by all the buyers who are shopping. If you need that much attention from every Dick, Harry, Peter, and idiots.. they will give you the attention you don't really want!

8. Ultimatums. “If you don’t do this, it’s over.” It will be. Communicate your concerns or wants. Don’t be demanding. If there’s a problem, be supportive without being pushy.
Oooh hell.... are you serious...! Ultimatums are for  people who control the gold. If you controlled the Gold then you will not need to give someone else and ultimatum......because you would have all that you need and want. i.e you don't need a man.    
A good relationship is a balancing act and one of compromise on the part of both people. Don’t commit murder and kill the buzz before it has even had a chance of an established relationship.Most men are expecting their new woman to be flexible, so don't be an extremest. there are so many pressures that modern day life  will throw at both of you.... Men,. want a woman who can carry some of the weight and not be a drama princess. find you inner good sense and be  a  B.O.S.S. we will appreciate you most if you do that.

She is still interested if.....

There’s a method behind her madness: She’s playing hard to get to gauge your interest and level of commitment. Women who act demure at first are mainly looking to weed out guys who want one-night-stands rather than real relationships.

But is your lust playing an evolutionary dating game or is she just not that into you? Don’t feel bad if you’re not sure—you’re wired to think she’s interested, even if she’s not. We Men suffer from sexual over-perception bias. It causes us to perceive more interest from a woman than there might actually be. There are some ways she regularly plays hard to get, and how to determine if she’s interested—or if you’re seeing something that’s just a figment of your imagination. the movie you just saw gave you a (click)body language education, on how to read a woman.... News flash: the script was written by a man.. who is just as clueless as the rest of us moral males. If the script was written by a woman the miss-story gets even more complicated. But it really boils down to how you handle  the simple K.I.S.S method of pursuit. Don't over analyze the situation, go with the flow and avoid a rehearsed script of your own. here are few simple challenges you can figure her level of interest out.

1. She doesn't answer your texts right away
Her phone is practically super-glued to her hand—hell, she’s updating Twitter right now—so why isn't she texting you back? When you hide behind the veil of technology by texting or communicating via social media, it’s hard for her to gauge where she stands. Admit it—the reason you texted her in the first place is because texts are inherently low-risk and noncommittal.

She’s still interested if: She responds to a more direct, personal form of communication, such as a phone call. She wants to know that you think she’s special, and that you appreciate her time. While texts can be crafted in seconds and sent to multiple recipients at once, phone calls are one-on-one. this is not rocket science... guys.

2. She’s always busy
She’s turning down your invitations left and right, claiming excuses such as “best friend’s birthday,: and "got invited to an Oscars viewing party.” There are three possibilities: She’s a crazy-busy social butterfly, she’s not interested, or she’s sending you  a message. She wants you to know that she’s not just sitting at home, waiting around for you to call,. It’s how she protects herself from ending up in a too-casual relationship.

She’s still interested if: She says "yes" to invitations that are not last-minute. She doesn't want you to think that she’s free all the time, or that she’s willing to drop everything to be with you. But if you get rejected more than once or twice—and you definitely gave her enough notice, she might just be dodging your advances.

3. She talks about other guys

Her ex. Her best guy friend. Her male colleagues. The guy who hit on her at the bar last night. If she’s constantly talking about the other men in her life, she’s probably trying to signal to you that she’s a hot commodity. This is where the supply-side economics theory can be applied. She wants you to know that she’s not just busy, she’s busy hanging out with other guys.

She’s still interested if: Her guy-talk is strictly non-romantic. For example, she’ll tell you about a guy who hit on her and then mention how weird he was. It’s her way of nudging you and letting you know there’s competition. But she also wants you to know that you’re the first in line.

4. She’s flaky

You took her out and had a great time—and now she’s acting distant and aloof. Or maybe you set up a date for tomorrow, but she just called to say she can’t make it because she has an emergency “work thing.” Sounds fishy, so what gives? It’s the availability thing all over again. She’s protecting herself. She wants to be the opposite of clingy, so she overcompensates by being extra detach-y.

She’s still interested if:  She's a flake but she  leaves the door—to the future—open. Dating is a game of give-and-take, and if she’s playing hard to get, she knows that. So she won’t flake on you completely without giving you something to hang onto. If she cancels a date at the last minute, she might mention that her schedule is freer next week. Or if she stops texting for a few days after you hang out, she’ll casually reconnect to let you know that she’s still around. If she’s asking you to jump through hoops without giving anything back, she might just like the chase.

5. She’s mysterious
She’s the opposite of an over-sharer: She’s busy, sometimes flaky, and always vague about the details. When you ask her about her day, she hints at an exciting event at work but fails to follow through with the story. She tells you she’ll be away all weekend, but she doesn't mention where or why. She believes that you’ll find her more intriguing if she cultivates an air of mystery. She doesn't divulge all of the details to you, and it drives you  crazy. The details may not be all that interesting, but she’s putting lots of effort into being mysterious in front of you.

She’s still interested if: Her "air of mystery" is focused on relatively unimportant topics, such as work, or where she’s going when she leaves your apartment at 7 a.m. She wants to keep you questioning, but she doesn't want you to question the big things, such as your relationship. She may be vague about her weekend plans, but she’ll start talking if you  start by asking her about another guy.

Thoughtful gestures---- are annoying, to her ?

Thoughtful gestures—as long  as your heart's in the right place—will win you points, right?

WRONG!

 In fact, many of the nice things you do for your girlfriend/woman may actually be driving her crazy: Buying her jewelry that's not her style, surprising her with romance at inopportune times, trying to fix her problems (rather than just listening to them), for example. What sweet, point-winning moves are you making that she secretly hates?

It's not quite as tricky as it sounds. The problem mainly happens when a gesture isn't fully considered in terms of how a partner will feel. Thinking of how she'll feel about something is always a safe move to make sure your thoughtful gestures are received in the way you intended.

Okay, consider her feelings and you'll probably do fine—but here are some moves to avoid anyway.

1. Buying her jewelry

She loves jewelry—most women do. So why she almost always disappointed when a guy presents her with something sparkly? "Guys make the mistake of thinking that the broad category of 'jewelry' is enough. It's not. Women are very particular about jewelry, and if you're not paying attention to what she actually likes and wears, your thoughtful gift comes across as a lack of interest.

It looks like you don't know or care about what she really loves. If you're going to buy her jewelry, you'd better know what she likes to wear. You can look for clues—does she like hearts, does she like gold or silver, is she drawn to bigger or smaller pieces?

2. Trying to fix her problems
Unless her problem is a leaky faucet, a hard-to-hang painting, or a spider, she probably doesn't want you to fix it. we Men and women are very different in this regard. When a woman is feeling down, she typically wants to be heard and have her feelings validated.

Translation: If she's having issues with her best friend or a colleague at work, she wants to vent, not have you  come up with a solution. All you have to do is listen to her and (occasionally) agree.

3. Lavishing her with gifts
A pretty necklace here, some roses there—that's fine. But a constant onslaught of clothes, jewelry, perfume, and other "thinking of you" trinkets? Not very smart.she might turn into that female demon with horns and a tail. actually this is a good thing in a B.A.D way.

but seriously!.She might  dislikes your avalanche of gifts for a couple of reasons. Too much masculine care-taking behavior (i.e. buying her things) feels controlling, especially if she's gainfully employed and financially capable of taking care of herself. Also, even if your intentions are pure, she feels pressure to reciprocate—and no woman wants to be in a relationship where she constantly feels one step behind.

4. Jumping in the shower without an invitation
I'm all for sexy shower time—but when she's 20 minutes late and trying to simultaneously shave her legs and deep-condition my hair, you'd better have a damn good reason for hopping in and stealing half the hot water. Physical space is an important component in relationships. Entering another's space uninvited—even if you're trying to be affectionate—can fall flat.

I'm not saying you can't be spontaneous and romantic, just try not to do it when she's pressed for time or in the middle of getting ready: No girl wants to be dragged away for a quickie when she's halfway done with her makeup.

5. Checking in on her to often!
You know the drill: Drop her off, but wait until she's inside before driving off. That's fine—no woman is going to fault you for seeing her safely home. But when you start asking her where she is, or when she's coming back, even if it's just because you care about her and are excited to see her, she'll start getting irritated.

"This is almost always meant to convey interest, caring, and affection. But it can read to her as controlling and jealous. Too much attention can feel invasive. Bottom line: Unless she asks you to, or you need her immediate expertise on how to put out a kitchen fire (or something), try not to check in on her, just because you nothing better to do.

Have we forgotten how Good----- "good" really is?

With word like "Amazing", "Epic", "Exceptional", "Exhilarating" we have stopped expecting that relationship just need to be "Good" to work long term.
Music Artist sing about: "You are amazing, just the way you are" but does not mention that she is only amazing if she stays just the way she is right now---- forever??. So is he talking about aesthetics, here. Her smile, her hair, her great  figure 8 body.  News flash: she will NOT stay "just the way she is right now for too much  longer ". she will change somethings voluntarily, and others will be changed by natural progression.

The statistics are alarming. More than half of marriages  end in divorce everywhere these days. Yet, millions still marry every year and even more get involved in committed relationships by living together. But, are Most  men getting married really willingly or are we doing it because we don't want to loose a good woman... or are we just going thought the motions and  instead of saying "I do" Loud and proud we are saying "Me Too." and making it sound like " I do?"

It’s possible to save a relationship that has  moved toward the alter, but have an expiration date on it. 
It’s up to you, though, to decide whether you want to do that. Is it better for everyone, if there are kids involved or not? Maybe you have  invested so much time in it already that it’s not worth turning back? Do you still really love the other person,  or are you to set in your ways to make a change? If there are more questions than answers, it might be time to move on, or start paying more attention to the little things. Here are some ideas that you can put into motion to help you keep it all together.

Your woman opens 

the door after a spa-and-shopping day, and asks you a loaded question:

 “Well…what do you think?”
It’s a trick! You start scanning her like she’s playing Spot the Different game changer. Did she get a haircut? A manicure? A new purse? Is she wearing a sexy dress? Heels? Red lipstick? ooh a hot pink bikini!

Admit it: We Men aren't exactly known for our ability to notice small (but critical!) details about women. But failing to pick up on what she considers to be a significant transformation—such as when she dyes her hair from black to red, or when she spends an hour putting on fake eyelashes—can land you in hot water. How can you avoid offending her without magically gaining observational superpowers?

It’s actually quite simple,  What she really wants you to notice is the effort she puts into things It’s not necessarily the details, it’s the effort she puts into your relationship, into making herself look cute for you, and into making you happy. If she’s standing there with an expectant look on her face, You can’t go wrong with a comment on how much you appreciate the work she puts into your relationship. Just say something like, ‘I love how you always look amazing for me,’ or ‘Thank you for putting so much effort into our relationship.'

Of course, deploy that line too often and she’ll wise up that you’re perpetually clueless. So here are five details she does expect you to comment on.

Hot lingerie
When women buy lingerie for themselves, it’s fun, bright, and flirty. Think Victoria’s Secret and neon-colored bras, boy shorts with cheeky sayings, and stripes and polka dots everywhere. When women buy lingerie for men, it’s a lot sexier: Black, red, or some deep jewel tone, with more straps, hooks, and lace than is probably necessary. If she comes home carrying a bag from Agent Provocateur and wearing a teddy you’ll probably have to cut her out of, you’d better say something. Luckily, it doesn't have to be very specific—a simple “Damn, you look fantastic,” will suffice.
A trip to the salon can completely change her appearance, so you shouldn't be surprised to know that she expects you to notice her new hairstyle. But this can be tricky, especially if she just got a trim and a blowout, rather than going from brunette to blonde. If her hair looks fuller or shinier,you can cover your bases by telling her that you love how she always makes her hair look amazing.
If she’s been spending a lot of time at the gym—even if you can’t really tell by looking at her—you’d be wise to note how great her body is looking. Not only is noticing her gym time part of noticing the overall effort she puts into looking good for you, complimenting her body will encourage her to keep it up. It’s basic behavioral conditioning. You want to reinforce the behavior you like with compliments. Women do this—behavioral conditioning with their men—all the time.
Men don’t notice shoes. For the most part, that’s fine. She doesn't expect you to comment on her ballet flats or her luxury riding boots (though you may want to pay attention to what she’s wearing if you’re trying to gauge her personality), or the super-cute new espadrilles she bought last week. But if she’s sporting thigh-high boots or strappy stilettos, you can safely assume it’s not a choice based on comfort. Don’t worry about naming the shoes or getting technical. Just say, “I love those shoes on you,” and she’ll know you appreciate her effort.
Is the bathroom suddenly spotless? 

Is the bed made? Are there weird-smelling candles lining the kitchen counter? If your apartment feels strangely hotel-like, guess what: She cleaned up. It’s basically the cheapest maid service ever, because all she wants is a simple thank you,  Just say: 'The house has been looking amazing lately —thank you,'  this  will show her that you recognize her efforts across the board. "Good" is really noticing the little things and complementing on them: 

New Shoes
A new hairstyle
Her body make over...
When she cleans up the house!

these are  little things to you, but are major in her book... so do a  little to get a whole lot!

Stop lying to yourself, Stop mixing sex with love!

, Girls, Women, Ladies. For years I have heard many of you  speak of your desire to be the best woman you can be. which lead to men writing books like "Act like Lady, Think like a man", and others like that .  I have listened to you express your frustrations on understanding what it is you need to do for yourselves to have better and more fulfilling relationships. Today I want to help you move in a better direction so LISTEN UP!! That’s right, I’m talking to you. There are some things many of you need to stop doing if you plan to make your dream of a better you, a reality. As I walk with you on this journey, I want to encourage you to not get defensive and do not start blaming men or anyone else as to why you do what you do. Just take a deep breath and read closely.

1. Stop mixing sex with love

How many more horror stories of traumatized women, hurt feelings, and failed missions do you need to hear about or witness before you stop equating love and sex. Most men don’t do this, so why keep using sex to try to get him, keep him, or justify his existence in your life. This has not worked well at all and it is time to fully accept this fact and stop self inflicting all this damage to your hearts and feelings. I understand sex is also an emotional thing for a woman. I am in no way asking you to separate your emotions if you’re unable to. I’m saying stop getting it all mixed up. Don’t tell me you can’t tell the difference or you’re confused. NO, you are smarter than that and you know exactly what is going on, but instead you choose to do the next thing on this list that has contributed to your heart’s demise. I've heard men don't like to cuddle.... Not true. Men like to cuddle with women they want to cuddle with. So if that is not you, then dismiss him as not the one. Water (rivers flow ) flow over the rock and the rock looses it hard rugged edges and even crumble in time. So if you don't give him the time he needs to get softer when if comes to your need then you are wasting you time. take a good look at the man and ask yourself.. is he the "one"  or his he the "one I think I want" only time will reveal the answer.

2. Stop lying to yourself

Women I know the truth. You ladies are sharp and pay attention to much more detail than most men. You are very smart and very aware of your emotions. You’re always thinking and processing so you’re much better prepared for what is thrown at you because you typically think ahead. So why must you continue this pattern of lying to yourself to justify actions you know are wrong. I am not saying there are not many men that do the same, but I am not talking to the men right now, I want you to focus on you. I can give you all kinds of examples of lies you tell yourself but I will save that for another post dedicated to just that. Either way I don’t really have to tell you because you know. You may lie to your friends, family, that guy, and yourself. No matter how much you do it, you still know the truth, and you need to accept it for what it is. You aren't doing yourself any favors, and when it all hits the fan, you don’t have anybody to blame but yourself. Embrace the truth, it may hurt, and it may not be what you think you want, but it is exactly what you need. He is not the "ONE"  he is good in many areas, but if he is not good in the areas you need most then you are lie and accepting that you will never be totally satisfied. 

3. Stop letting fear consume you

That’s right, stop operating from fear so much. What you call protecting yourself, I call it fear. What you call playing it safe, I call  fear. What you call gold digging, I call a very smart business move. That was a joke, please don’t take that too seriously. Anyway, I really feel that many women far too often make decisions based on the fear of being hurt. Women also sometimes try to disguise the fear and call it love. For example, you are afraid to leave a man because you don’t want to be alone, so what do you do, out of that fear you lie to yourself and others and claim you love him to validate staying. That is just one example. What these women have to realize is that operating from fear is only making things worse for you in the long run. You need to get to a point where you can operate out of faith, and trust you will put yourself in a much better position.

A quote I just read: "If you ignore a part of yourself that is doing what it can to help you live the best life possible, you quality of life will certainly be affected!" 

There is so much more I want to say. If this wasn't a blog post I would get much deeper into this and really get at the root of the issues. You can gain further insight on this by checking out a good book God Where Is My Boaz? These issues not only affect single women,  this applies to many women in relationships as well. I also understand that men have plenty they need to stop doing, and you can check out the link below for that. I just want the women reading this to take heed to the message. Many of you may not be dealing with these specific issues, but if you are it is time to take a stand and make the necessary corrections. You know what you have been doing so far isn't really working for you, so why keep doing it. It is time to break the cycle and start moving towards a better you which will help also open the door to receiving the right person for you.
 I'm told that woman have Female Intuition----> " Intuition is an extrasensory perception or a "knowing" of something you should or shouldn't do, without any substantial proof, which is accompanied by a noticeable feeling in the body!" 

So aren't women using their God given Intuitions to make better choices?

 If I had the answer to that one I would be called Genius instead of B.A.D.

 just remember!

Venus VS Mars!

 If she blows you a Kiss. question her intentions and her motives! read her body language carefully.

I am sure by now most of you have heard that saying. Some of you may have actually read the book. If you have done neither, well let me shed some light on it. “Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars” expresses the belief that women and men operate in two different ways. Men are known to be creatures of logic, and women are seen to be driven more by emotion. So is this really the case? Are we really built differently? My answer is an emphatic YES/NO! We are most certainly two different types of people, and these differences are what has led to the ongoing communication gap that plagues our existence, which therefore hinders our relationships. I know what some of you may be thinking “well, if we know we are different should we not be able to use that to our advantage in creating more harmony and better communication?” If only it were that simple!  But wait, it actually is that simple. We have over complicated these issues for far too long. We continue to have unhappy men and women dragging along in their relationships simply because neither truly understands the other. So how can we begin to put an end to this travesty? How do we take the necessary steps to finally rectify this issue? Well I am glad you asked.  Here are some tips to getting on the same page as your partner, and to begin to have a much more fulfilling relationship.

It’s not them, it’s YOU – don’t get me wrong, I totally understand that your partner has done plenty to make you mad and contribute to a negative situation. I realize that you may have made many efforts to fix things yet they seem to resist them and nothing has worked. Despite those facts, we as men and women will never be able to understand each other if all we do is point the finger at the other person. When you are just focused on defending your actions and pointing out their shortcomings, you have effectively put yourself in a position where you will not be able to properly understand their reasoning, their needs, or their issues. You are simply too caught up in yourself to see things clearly. So, the first step is to focus only on what you can control, which is you. Yes,you may have done plenty already, but can you honestly say you have continued to be the man or woman THEY need you to be? You may have been great as far as you’re concerned, but you need to focus on what they need from you. Hold yourself accountable for your actions, and trust that by putting your best foot forward you will give yourself a much better chance at beginning to understand your partner and giving them the example they need to be a better partner.

Pay more  attention – communication is key, but why do we continue to mainly apply that to verbal communication? Men and women already speak different languages (men speak English or something like it, and women speak “woman-ese”), so we can talk all day and still have a lot misunderstood or misinterpreted. Could you imagine a Latin person and an Asian person trying to speak to each other in their own languages? They could actively listen, they may make out a few things here and there, but at the end of the day they still won’t understand each other. So let’s try to include things like body language more, as well as just paying attention to how our partner handles and reacts to things. A lot of times it is more obvious than we realize that what our partner likes and dislikes can be based on their actions.  Yet, we are so caught up in other things that we simply overlook the obvious. So open your ears and your eyes. Also, realize that both men and women have things that they will just have a hard time fully expressing. Women may not tell their partner everything because she figures you should know on your own, and she shouldn't have to tell you. Men will hold things back because they don’t want to deal with certain backlash they feel they may receive. Actions though, can many times be more telling and we need to pay more attention to all of it.

Be Patient – we live in a time where we like things fast and convenient. If we have to wait too long, we abandon what it is we are looking for and move on to the next. Well, understanding people just does not work that way. You are involved with a person who has been through years of programming (life). To break all that down and truly understand who they are is not race, it is a marathon. We have to realize that these things take time, and it takes even longer the more we do things to damage the situation and create a bigger gap between us. At times, some people don’t even fully understand themselves, so how do you expect to get it right so fast? Be patient and embrace the progress as it comes, which will breed more progress, and before you know it you will be at the finish line a lot quicker than most.

Of course there is more to understanding your partner,(now, I'm being politically correct because  "partner" is a term used in same sex relationships also) but I believe these are some core concepts you have to embrace in order to set yourself in the right direction. Your goal isn't to understand all men, or all women, it is simply to understand the one you are in a relationship with. That is your focus, and doing that will create a relationship so full of love, enjoyment, and fulfillment that every step you take in this process will be well worth your energy, your devotion, your time.  

Women think: sex that last over an hour. Is just boring'

Sex last too long? or it's just for two minutes...., you choose!

this is not. your usual female complaint in the bedroom, but some  women are  frankly bored and frustrated by their  man's constant demands to have sex that lasts over an hour.

 REALLY?

Why do we men  think of lengthy sex is great sex? simple answer  because of Porn! clear and simple.... we want to be "long John" whatever his name is  on the XXX DVD.

Woman can  ask her man why he feels this is ‘normal’ and ‘good’ sex? It may be that he, like many of us, are used to inspirational messages in  the Western media, porn, self help books and magazine sex advice features all telling us men that ‘great’ sex should be something we do as frequently as possible for as long as possible in as many different positions as possible.

Moreover media and medical discussions of women and sex present women’s sexuality as complicated, suggesting that women are difficult to excite and require lengthy stimulation to become aroused – let alone orgasm.

So Why else might this be taking a while?

Men who are struggling to get or keep an erection may need more time for sex in order to get or stay hard. Some men take a long time to come (known as delayed ejaculation). Medications for some physical or mental health conditions and certain recreational drugs can cause problems with ejaculation and erections.

Reviewing how you both see sex and removing his orgasm as the inevitable end goal might allow him to feel more relaxed and under less pressure to ‘perform’. It might be his keenness to enjoy lengthy sex is due to him hiding fear or embarrassment about deeper sexual problems. Particularly if he fears you will judge or leave him if he can’t last for as long as possible (or if you discover he can’t orgasm easily). His GP can assist if he is struggling with erections or he thinks existing medication is getting in the way of pleasure. 

Clearer communication

He seemingly wants to please you but you’re putting to him that this isn’t pleasing you and he isn't listening – why might that be? Could it be he feels this is the right way to have sex and so can’t change the way he behaves? Perhaps he’s unsure what else you might do instead? Maybe this is a big turn on for him and he’s anxious that he won’t enjoy other kinds of sex. Perhaps this is the only sexual script he knows. Finding out about what’s driving this behavior is important.

REALITY check!

  Ladies if the above is your problem, get real and keep reading the rest of this blog post.....

Start by:

Stop complaining! 

Because...... It will take you longer to read this blog post  than it takes nearly half of all men to finish having sex. And this is a fairly medium length blog post.So consider this: If a man and a woman start having sex right now, the man will either be asleep or smoking a cigarette by the time you finish  reading the last word I've written here.

Two minutes, ladies. That’s all you’re going to get from a lot of guys these days. Two minutes.    Wowie, back in our day, fellas over 40, we were not proud of only lasting 5 minutes whenever an accusation of inadequacy popped out it's angry deflating head, and she said with an ugly voice. "Sh!t now what am I suppose to do, now that you got yours... what about mine?"  "You got batteries?"

I imagine a few women just exclaimed, “No sh!tttt, BAD!” The fact that many men don’t last long during intercourse isn't necessarily worth a breaking-news alert. But new analysis is shedding more light on the situation and on men’s sexual shortcomings (pun intended). 

According to sexual-health expert Dr. Harry Fisch, 45 percent of men have an orgasm within the first two minutes of intercourse. He calls that percentage “astonishing.” It’s also devastating for women.  

Dr. Fisch writes: “That’s pretty speedy. Way too speedy for the average woman to be able to have an orgasm. At least five minutes, or more like seven, is usually what’s needed for a woman to be able to achieve orgasm.” 

Dr. Fisch lays out his findings and advice in his book The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups. In it he explains that the No. 1 question he gets from all adult couples (married and unmarried) is actually the wrong question on which they should focus.

They want to know how much sex is normal. (Dr. Fisch puts the average frequency of sexual activity at two or three times per week for most couples, with younger couples having sex more often than older couples.) But rather than fixate on frequency, Dr. Fisch argues, couples should focus on quality. He contends that if you are having an incredibly satisfying sexual experience once a week, it’s possible that you’re more fulfilled than someone having sex four times a week, if those four times are just so-so. Ultimately, it’s not about how much sex you’re having but how good the sex is that you’re having.

And undoubtedly, duration is a major factor. Even if a man performs admirably for those two glorious minutes, it’s still not going to get the job done for the majority of women. Sixty-seven percent of women in one study reported faking orgasms. The number was as high as 80 percent in other studies. There were varying reasons that women faked orgasms, but the main one was that they didn't want to hurt the man’s feelings.     

Of course, there are also legitimate health issues that can cause a man to reach climax quickly, but many men just get overly excited and can’t control themselves. I don’t care who you are—every man has wanted to take a sexual mulligan at some point in his life for one reason or another. If the first encounter with a woman doesn't go wonderfully, we can’t wait for the do-over. The last thing we want is for a woman to think we don’t know what we’re doing and then, God forbid, she tells her girlfriends. As men, we often and unnecessarily define ourselves by our sexual prowess. It’s crucial to our identity and our confidence. 

Of course, as men get older, more experienced and generally more confident, this becomes less of an issue, and we don’t feel that we have so much to prove. As the late Bernie Mac once brilliantly explained about sex as a 42-year-old man: “Three minutes! That’s all I’m giving you! That’s all the f--k I got! ... And I don’t care about you talking about me!”

Still, it’s ingrained early on and reinforced throughout our lives that our manhood is measured in part by what we do in the bedroom. Women know this and find themselves in the unenviable position of sacrificing their own satisfaction for the sake of salvaging men’s egos. That can eventually lead to frustration and unhappiness both in and out of bed. 

The simple fix: Talk. We’re all adults here, and there’s 23 hours and 58 minutes’ let after sex. worthy  of the opportunity every single day to broach this sensitive subject with your lover. 

So sit on the beach and talk and re-connect! you can over-come most short comings if you just communicate.