The term “power couple” refers to men and women who are both successful in their respective fields, and come together to form an unstoppable duo. We have Beyonce and Jay Z, Kim and Kanye, Amal and George Clooney, and the list goes on and on. Well the last two are the only ones I really admire as a power couple There is a common misconception that women look for guys with money. While it may seem that way, the reality is that successful men have traits that most women find attractive. It’s totally possible to still be working towards your dreams and have the traits that ladies are looking for.
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| Thank you for coming with me to my company’s Christmas party. |
These tips applies to successful women, as well as women who are not put up on a pedestal. Sometimes, it’s tough to really know what women are thinking, so I will also add a secret look into the minds of women with first-hand experiences in the perspective as someone who has worked and lived with women from different backgrounds. Keep in mind that you don’t need all of these tips and these traits to get a lady-friend. Nobody is perfect. But if you are struggling to find a partner, these tips can help you find the love of your life. Maybe!
Think about what would the women you know, want in a man, that are not willing to date you!
Confidence.
Women love men with confidence, but be careful. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and no one likes someone who is stuck-up and arrogant. When I say confidence, it is the ability to handle uncomfortable or unfamiliar situations with a sense of security. Your true confidence comes out when you meet new people or travel somewhere new. It’s about having an “I-got-this” attitude with almost everything.
Confidence is key when it comes to succeeding in just about any area. Women who have succeeded on their own need to have confidence in order to get ahead in life, because being meek and mild gets you nowhere.
Honesty.
There is a saying “fake it til you make it”, but that doesn’t mean you should lie about your accomplishments, or anything else, for that matter. Sorry, fellahs, but we’re terrible liars. Once we get in the habit of lying on a regular basis, it becomes impossible to keep up with remembering which story we told our significant other. It’s best to stick to the truth.The Donald is prime example of lying for no good reason.
Once someone is caught in a lie, that makes it hard to trust them, especially for women who have been hurt in the past. That is a huge red flag, and most women with self-worth will break up with a liar immediately. If you choose to lie to people, and your relationships falls apart, the blame lies solely on you.
Motivation.
Being attracted to motivation is a primal instinct. Think about it. Back in the ages of cavemen, do you think the women would want to mate with the guy who sits around in the dark area of the cave all day, or do you think she wants the guy who is waking up at the crack of dawn hunting for food?
Even if you are not successful yet, if you show that you are motivated to do something with your life, that’s really attractive to most women. It is far better to show someone how motivated you are through your actions, rather than just words. You can talk all you want about your dreams, but if all you do is sit around watching Netflix, that doesn’t count, now does it.
Empathy.
There is nothing worse than a guy who is rude to a waiter at a restaurant. Anyone who is rude to people who work in service industries probably has never had to work one of those types of jobs themselves. Even if he was lucky enough to never have to work a job like that, anyone with a sliver of empathy can put themselves in another person’s shoes.
Women have it tough. Women go through a lot of things that men will never understand, and women don’t expect us men to figure it all out. But having empathy- or trying to understand how difficult a situation may be, goes a long way.
Faithfulness.
It should be obvious, but women want a man who will be faithful to her during the course of their relationship. If you’re exclusive, it’s important to honor that commitment. Some people choose to be in open relationships, but that is something that both partners would agree on together.
If you have a history of cheating on women in the past, or if you brag about all of the women you have been with, that is a red flag that you may not ever be faithful. Be upfront with your expectations of the relationship so that you don’t break a woman’s heart.
Great With Kids
Even if you’re taking it slow with your relationship, women will always take notice how you act around children. It will give her a good idea if you will make a good father someday, or not. Some women who are super focused on their careers don’t want kids right away, but she will still want you to be great around her nieces, nephews, and her friend’s kids. In some cases, both partners will agree that they never want to have kids, so it really doesn’t matter too much if babies make you uncomfortable. But that it a conversation you need to have pretty early on in the relationship, because it can be a huge deal-breaker, for someone, who does want children.
Sense of Humor
The best relationships in the world are when both partners are always laughing together. Women don’t expect you to be a standup comedian, but having the ability to see the humor in things is very attractive. If you are always serious, and never joke around or laugh, that could be a big reason why you’re not finding a woman that matches your interest. It’s not necessary to try to force yourself to be funny. You should still be yourself. But if at all possible, try to see if your sense of humor is compatible. If not, it may be a sign that it’s not meant to be. There is a difference between her laughing with you and laughing at you.
Common Respect
Most women want a man to respect her in more ways than one. For women who are strong-willed and take their careers seriously, respect is one of the most important attributes that she can find in a man. Some women don’t ask for much. A simple “If you have time” added to a request for a favor, or asking “What’s your schedule like this week?” first, before asking her to drop her plans to do something with you, or for you, can go a long way. Showing respect for a person also means that they are more willing to have a conversation about decision-making, instead of going over their head. We aren’t in the 1950’s any more, and women want to be equal partners in a relationship.
Your cleanliness
Women don’t expect men to be a total neat freak around the house, but they don’t want to be picking up after your mess, either. Keep your apartment or house neat and tidy. Make your bed, do your laundry, and wash the dishes. If she walks into your place and sees trash and dirty clothes lying everywhere, it’s not a good look. It is especially important for a successful woman to know that a man will pick up after himself, because she will be too busy working to want to clean your house for you. If you can afford it hire a part time housekeeper.
If you are doing really well with your career, maybe you can afford to hire a maid permanently to come over twice or three times a week. However, messes can pile up quickly. If you know that you’re a bit of a slob, try to be more mindful of how you treat your surroundings. Pick up after yourself often.
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| Do you think she would walk with confidence ahead of him if she was thinking “he looks like crap walking behind me?” |
Having Style
Most men think that women want to see them in expensive suits. That’s not necessarily true. Every woman has a different taste in fashion, and their personal style is going to reflect what they look for in a man. For example, I had female friend in college who was a ballerina. She was very reserved with her fashion, and only wore jeans, t-shirts, or hoodies every single day, aside from the clothes she wore to ballet practice and performances. When I asked her if she was attracted to guys who had a lot of style, she told me that she wasn’t shallow about what men wore, and she would never judge a book by it’s cover. I challenged her- What if he was an James Brown wannabe who wore big chains, a backwards baseball cap, and baggy pants that were falling off his behind ? Would she give him a chance? She quickly said, “Oh, hell no no no. I would never date someone like that.” I pressed- But what if he was your soul mate, and you avoided him because of the clothes he wore? She responded, “The kind of guy I want would never wear an outfit like that.” …See my point? OK that was back then, however today studs try to look tough showing their boxers, as they wear sagging pants, like jailhouse “b!tches”. Even the most supposedly non-judgemental female is actually 100% judging what you wear, but it’s okay to stick with your true style. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.
The fashion you wear will attract the type of woman you are looking for, and it will repel those who aren’t interested in your ghetto look, hint, hint. The women I’ve known want a guy who wear the same kind of clothes as them. Don’t wear clothes just because you think they will attract a woman. Wear the clothes that reflect who you truly are, and you will find a woman who appreciates that.
High Earning Potential
Sorry…Remember when I said money doesn’t matter? Well, okay scratch that. It does matters. According to a poll taken by Men’s Health Magazine, “earning potential” was listed as one of the top qualities that women look for in men. The key word here is “potential”. If a man is in medical school, for example, and a woman knows that you’re broke right now, but someday, you’ll have a great job with stellar healthcare, that’s basically just as good as being a doctor already. Along with confidence, motivation, and all of those other attributes to success, you need to be on a path that actually makes sense. If you are working at a fast food restaurant for minimum wage, but you’re promising a six-figure lifestyle without a plan to get there, a woman will know that it takes a lot more than flipping burgers to get you there. Trust me she will not hop on board for the ride…..In college, this truly doesn’t matter very much, since everyone is almost in the same boat. However, a woman will want a man to make the same or more than she does, if they want to have a good relationship, and she does not want to carry your baggage.
Being Attractive helps
Well…duh, right? No matter what gender you are, being attractive gives you a better chance of finding someone. In a world where people can swipe left and right to make a quick decision about someone’s looks, our society feels even more pressure to be good-looking. The good news is, women find a lot of different body types attractive. That’s why a “dad bod” is a trend right now. Sure, being fit and having a six pack is sexy to some women, but unless a woman is also in great shape, it’s usually not a prerequisite for dating. There are a lot of attractive qualities in a person that has nothing to do with a muscular body. Sometimes, a guy will have beautiful eyes, or an adorable smile. Women usually find the inner beauty in a person, once they get to know them. But if there is anything you can do to improve your physical appearance, it can’t hurt to try.
Being a Good Listener
“Please go ahead, you first,” Having good communication is essential in any relationship, and it is especially important when you’re dating. Communication is not possible without being a good listener. It’s easy to tell when a man is just waiting to speak, and not really listening or absorbing what the woman has to say. Next time you’re in a conversation with a woman, pay attention to how well you remember things she said when you get home later. Were you really focusing too much on impressing her and figure out what you should say? In most cases, listening to what she has to say and building a conversation out of that will lead to a better connection than you blurting out that you went to a good school or you earn six figures. She have done the same thing and is not impressed with your profession.
Good Hygiene
Don’t stink up the place. If you are really struggling to find a woman friend, you might want to take a quick sniff under your armpits. Remember that being in a relationship is all about intimacy, and no one wants to get up close and personal with someone whose breath smells like garlic. It may sound like common sense, but trust me, it’s not. You should be using mouthwash, flossing, and brushing your teeth two to three times a day. Take some gum or mints to work, too. If you’re trying to keep it fresh all day. If you have a problem with acne, buy a facial wash to use in the shower. Use shampoo and conditioner at least once every 3 days, and shower your body every single day, if you sweat a lot twice a day. Keep your beard and body hair trimmed, too. Beards can be sexy,to some women but only if you have the ability to actually grow one properly.
Wear deodorant every single day. Cologne does not mask body odor. In fact, it only makes it worse. If you use cologne at all, remember to be subtle about it, because even good smells can be overpowering. Just dab a little on your neck, and it becomes a pleasant surprise smell when she goes in for a kiss.
Romance
According to Men’s Health,(OK I like stats) 45% of women listed “romantic” in the attributes they want in a man. Women can’t help it. They grew up watching Disney movies where princesses get rescued by a prince, and every romantic comedy has some grand gesture of their undying love. It’s not that women can’t distinguish fiction from reality, but without a sense of romance in the relationship, you’re likely to fall into the friend zone pretty quickly, it’s like quicksand getting out is a struggle.
Romance doesn’t have to just be roses and chocolates. It can be accomplished over dinner with you looking into her eyes, holding hands, or letting her know that she is admired and appreciated. Don’t get overly romantic or say “I love you” (that would be an idiot move) right from the beginning, because it will definitely creep her out. But when the timing is right, make sure you let your lady friend know that she is the object of your affection.
Great in Bed
Sex is a natural part of any adult relationship, and having a good to great experience matters. A lack of sexual gratification or intimacy can lead to infidelity, or breaking up. Getting your woman to climax is obviously a must to keep her happy, but some of the best experiences in bed have a lot more to do with intimacy.
Women want to have good “pillow talk” conversations, kisses, cuddling, eye contact, etc. This so much better than just doing the deed without any regard for the woman’s pleasure, and then hopping out of bed soon afterwards…This sounds like it should be common sense, but sadly, it’s not. On the other hand, every woman wants something different to keep her satisfied, and that’s a conversation you will need to have after you have been together for a little while.
Passion
Men are taught to be reserved, and it’s really a shame, because women love to see a man who is passionate about something. It almost doesn’t matter what it is. You could be really into a hobby or your career. If you can talk about something you love with a lot of animation and excitement, there is something very intoxicating about that. Think about all the YouTubers in the world who make a living from just talking one-on-one to a camera about a particular subject. It’s because they can captivate an audience by talking about their passions.
Talking about each other’s personal interest on the first few dates is also a great way to get to know each other, and it should help break the ice. It also serves as a way to quickly realize whether you’re a good match, or not. For example, if you have a passion for going to micro-breweries, and the woman you’re on a date with doesn’t drink at all, that’s a big sign that you’re not meant to be together. Because you didn’t check first if she drinks or not!
Generosity
If you are successful, you will want to avoid gold diggers who only want you for your money, but every relationship has a certain level of gift-giving that should go both ways. It’s important to be wise with your money and know how to save for the future, but no one wants to date Ebenezer Scrooge, either. If you’re selfish with your money every day, that’s a red flag that you will selfish in other aspects of a relationship, as well.
Women pay attention when a man gives a good tip at a bar or restaurant, and what kinds of gifts he gives during the holidays to his family and friends. Successful women who have their own careers won’t necessarily be looking for a sugar daddy, but receiving presents every once in a while is still a great feeling. What most men don’t realize is that for women, presents aren’t really about the money. It’s about having their man acknowledging her interests, wants, and needs, and responding to that with a gift. If you only buy scented candles and body lotion every Christmas, it may feel like you don’t actually know her well enough to give her what she actually needs.
Dependability
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and women really want a “rock” who can be there when times get tough. Women want to know that they can depend on you when things get tough some day, because it’s not an “if”, it’s a “when”, because life is never perfect. Unfortunately, there are plenty of guys out there who run for the hills the moment something becomes difficult in a relationship. There is no way of knowing how someone will react to a difficult situation until it happens, so dependability is not always easy to spot. In the first few dates, you can prove that you are a dependable person by showing up on time and following through on the promises you make.
Being a flaky person gives the impression that you don’t care about the other person’s time, or that your life is a mess. It may be funny or eye-roll-worthy when you’re still young, but the bad trait becomes very serious once you get married and start having kids that needed to be picked up from daycare. The older you get, the more dependability becomes one of the most important qualities a man can have.
Kindness and Moral Integrity
Contrary to popular belief, women actually do love nice guys. (I know this because I tell them my initials, and women know I didn’t name myself, self awareness about how it sounds when you say “hi I’m BAD, is a conversation starter, but you have already pressed your own rejection button) No one will ever reach the level of kindness and compassion as someone like Mr. Rogers, and that’s not exactly sexy, either. There is a fine balance between being kind and compassionate versus being too much of a pushover and an all people-pleaser.
And Last and certainly not least.
Showing a sense of kindness to strangers with simple gestures like opening a door for someone, or being polite to restaurant and retail staff can go a long way. If you’re not already doing these things, start trying to incorporate kind gestures into your life. You’ll find that you become a happier person, which is attractive, too. Obviously, having a good moral compass is important as well. Women want to know that you would never steal, cheat, or hurt another person on purpose.
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