Try a little tenderness

so please explain  to me why you needed to go there?

OK I might be off the rail with this one!  I don’t think I am...... but then again it’s my opinions that count when I debate an issue on my blog.

The other day I was talking to a security guard as two young women drove up to go into a supermarket. They got out of the car. We (dogs) both looked at these women and had different thoughts instantly. The security guard said. “Why are so many women becoming lesbians?” My reaction was instant, ‘What made you think they are lesbians?’  Maybe because they held hands as they walked into the store?’ and I had to admit that I didn’t see them holding hands in car! So I didn’t assume they were in a romantic relationship. But the guard pointed out that he has worked as a guard for a few years , he is paid to observe things that be different, and had seen these women before and he was sure they were lesbians.  Again my comeback was instant: ‘Women sometimes need a little tenderness without having to worry about being treated as sex objects’ Things that her life has taught her that she can’t get from a dude who has sex on his mind 24/7. Se wants compassion, she want understanding, she want’s tenderness and if a vibrator can get her off being used by some who know how to use it on her even better!

He Shook his head. So I said how do you know what’s going on between them? You are assuming that they are doing the things that you are imagining they are doing without having the facts or the reasons why they might be doing them. 

He once again looked at me like I had lost my mine. So I tried to explain what a female friend who happens to be a lesbian once told me, Women who were in relationships for years with men, and had their hearts broken even left with children to raise by themselves. Sometime need to turn to other women for tenderness and compassion. They may not start out think about becoming gay/lesbians. They may still want a good man, but the man they want does seem to be available or tender enough to fulfill their needs. So they turn to a woman who understands and can do things to them and for them. Without  having to worry about becoming pregnant or getting an STD. I was getting to deep for the brother. He said: " they are going against the laws of nature maybe, I have seen them Plenty of times and they don’t look like they ever want to be with a man again” I could resist: 'They are out of your league dude. that all they don't a burly dude like you.  

So leave them alone, if they are happy then it’s none of your concern!'

Needless to say I see things a bit differently, because  I don’t build my hopes up by desiring a woman that is in a relationship with someone else, Man  or woman. We guys want her because be can’t have her, we get mean and act like we are the ones being betrayed when women may temporarily  find happiness with someone else male or female. We may have lost ownership of what we may not even have owned. <smirking> It’s not yours it’s hers she will let you use it even rent it. If you invest  in her she might just partner with you for some length of time but be aware of the expiration date. Forever-after is a myth.

Final thought

Media representations of masculinity tend to play in two notes: On the left we have Nice Guys and on the right we have Macho Men. Both play into ideas of toxic masculinity in their own ways. Macho Men are emotionally distant, but it’s okay because they’re buff and men don’t have feelings anyway. Whether it’s an action hero like Die Hard’s John McClane, or a tortured bad boy like The Breakfast Club’s Bender or Wuthering Heights’ Heathcliff, we are conditioned to see their anger issues as passion and their repressed emotions as something romantic for women to “fix.” Nice Guys are seen as an antidote, but more often than not, their niceness is performative and in direct relation to their feelings towards a crush. Think of Laurie in Little Women, who grows as a character through the help of Jo, but once she turns him down weaponizes all that character growth as leverage to get in her pants.                               

Try a little tendernes