Don't avoid doing the "do !"

we still have game!

No surprise here,  people have sex well into their 50s, 60s and 70s these days. Think what you want millennials, but the truth is, the mature crowd is having better sex than you. Yes, for real.
According to multiple recent studies, couples over the age of 50 are truly living their best sexual lives and there are three reasons why.
You’ve learned the most comfortable place to have sex, because of experience!
While the adventure of outdoor loving or tabletop humping are great to enjoy in your youth, couples who hit their stride in life know there’s no better place to shake some sheets than in bed.
This is the season for fun, freedom, feminine energy and sexy new beginnings. It’s the perfect time to make sure that your inner bombshell blooms when it comes to love, sex, dating, and relationships.

Quality over quantity wins every single time. 

Your place our mine, it doesn't matter both are good!

It’s kind of self-explanatory because who needs multiple races when a really good one actually does the trick?
The cuddle-to-hug ratio has been mastered.
Couples of a certain age know how long a good hug should linger and how comforting a cuddle can last. A study  shares that the post-sex cuddle session produces higher sexual and relationship satisfaction for both parties. The perfect hug much like the cozy comforts of a warm cuddle, takes a skill learned over time. For a couple who have mastered ins and outs of each other (pun intended), a good embrace helps with health and hormones.
When it comes to s-e-x, the older generation knows what they're doing. We "Netflix and Chill-ers" have some learning to do.

Here are 11 super-hot sexpert tips to make your toes curl -- from oral sex to juicy foreplay to a move called “the Stallion.”

1. Embrace Your Self-Pleasure.

No man present but I  feel satisfied!

Reading your Intimacy Intervention advice questions each week, I see that many of you are still scared of the M-word. So let’s kick off this party with my tip that you’ll need for all of the other ones. You most likely won’t go blind, get addicted or over-stimulated but pleasuring yourself has all kinds of incredible benefits. Masturbation leads to you knowing your luscious body better. You will reinforce to yourself that you deserve pleasurable touch whether or not you have a partner. You will know what pleases you so that you can show someone else. You can experiment alone first if you are feeling shy. You can even put on an incredible show for your partner.
When you have the body confidence, you can explore adult toys, foreplay, roleplay, and tantra. When you are in love with yourself you can communicate with your partner. When you have self-esteem, you don’t feel the need to compromise your sexual self and you have the courage to take responsibility for your own orgasm.
So with toys or without, please yourself often. Studies show that self-touch can increase feelings of confidence and self-esteem. In addition, women who indulge in self-pleasure are reportedly more orgasmic. Yeah!

2. Give the Ultimate Oral Exam.
“Ladies, this oral sex tip is going to raise the bar on your fellatio game. Men have something called a prostate. It’s located in their anus about 2 inches up and when it’s stimulated it creates waves of blissful sensations.
You will need a small silver bullet vibrator, warm water, and a teaspoon of honey. Add some of the honey to your tongue and lick his pleasure stick slowly. The honey also adds to the flavor and enjoyment to the art of going down. Take a few sips of warm water. The warm water melts the honey and creates a warm, soft, velvety sensation to his penis.
While slowly going down on him you want to turn your silver bullet vibrator on low, and press it gently against his perineum. The perineum is the area between the scrotum and the anus. This will stimulate his prostate externally. Gently massage the area with the silver bullet while orally pleasing your lover. He will experience the best knee jerking, toe curling orgasmic experience ever!  -- Tracey R. Bryant is a Sexual Empowerment Coach and the creator of Sensual Honey Sweet Yoni Tea, an organic, aphrodisiac tea that makes your lovely lady parts smell good and taste sweet.
So Long Vajayjay! 15 Fun Names You Call Your Lady Parts

Natural fragrance!

3. Your Natural Musk
“Don’t have ‘that thang’ smelling like flowers or candy. Your lady parts are the flower. Your lady parts are my candy. That ‘sweet thang’s’ natural aroma and nectar is perfect! You can’t put it in a bottle and it’s never duplicated. I feel like, if we don’t both smell like ‘that thang’ when we are done then we didn’t get in there properly.
Here’s the key: We both have to be fresh to get it popping. I love taking a shower with my lady before engaging in her love. I have arrived at the point in my sex life where I have to be free to lick where I want when I want. I’m grown.
The goal is to have your partner never curious or desiring anything from anyone else -- ever! You need to turn your partner out! Every couple of months something has to get broken... a vase, a glass, a picture frame, a bed frame, a headboard. Dents in the middle of the mattress don’t count!”

Maxi Priest - Close To You 

click here for more pointers.

The things Guys Look At First On A Woman.

It shouldn’t come as any surprise to you ladies that we men are initially attracted to women via their physical appearances, but that does not mean all men are looking for the Tyra Banks super model type. Different strokes for different folks. Some men do like thicker women, some  like them curvy, etc.

But it’s the first five minutes that count the most. That’s the time you have to use your physical appearance first and then your personality to “reel him in.”

Here are some characteristics that we tend to notice when they first encounter a woman.

• A woman’s shape. we men look at curves and shape. And we won’t hide it, either. So don’t be surprised to catch us looking you up and down when you enter our space.

• A woman’s attitude. Men love a woman with confidence. Her posture, her ability to look him straight in the eye and her air of confidence are all traits men will be attracted to.

• Your smile. Subconsciously, men are drawn to certain smiles. Some like sweet and genuine, while others like a mischievous look.

• A woman’s hair. We like well kept hair that smells good. So make sure your weave is fresh! In fact, research shows that men notice your hair before they notice what you are wearing.


• Your makeup. Keep it light and natural looking. And wear lipstick. It doesn’t (and shouldn’t) be bright red, but we will notice moist shiny (yet natural) looking lips.

• Your girls. Oh yea. We are checking out whom you hang with. We will be intimidated by a large group of women, but will approach a lady in a trio. If  rejected, at least we will assume the giggles will be kept at a minimum.

⦁The butt and the bust. Yea, you knew that was coming. But be cool about it. That doesn’t mean you should wear spandex or a shirt that leaves nothing to the imagination. Do leave something to the imagination. And remember, some guys like a handful, while others go for the melons.

The idea that it will be all peaches and Cream, is just crazy! But it can be All good!

NO relationship is all sunshine and blue skies. But if two people share an umbrella they can survive the storms! Or you can sit alone and avoid the sun and the rain  in solitude, and continue to be single. In the journey of building my one and only marriage, I remember wanting so badly for it to be a successful union like my parents had and prove to my remaining parent ( skeptical dad) and the world that I had what it took to be a successful married man  as my parents were in a good marriage until death did them part., you see  my mother pasted away  3 months after our wedding.  She died happy because her only son had gotten married.   

Hard work does pay well.... but is it really all that satisfying?

I worked hard relentlessly for years and eventually achieved the material stuff and accolades that evoked the picture of success, but oddly, I never felt really “successful.” Eventually I realized it was because I was so focused on “trying to make it” that I hadn’t developed a deeper sense of my purpose and what really made me happy. Though many experiences inspired my career transition into my current ventures, it was an in-depth conversation with my uncle that helped me make the transition.   

Whether you work for a company or are venturing out on your own, here are four passionate  tips from which we can all learn. May words of hard-earned wisdom guide your subconscious  minds as much as they have mine over the years..... 

1. Pursue the Mission And The Happiness Will Come

Even if you are doing everything to make someone else happy,
 you have to be happy.... doing it or it will sour fast!

I get it. It’s easy to get caught up in defining your happiness model, how you will make it work, and differentiating yourself from others. Someone reiterated to me, if you pursue and prioritize the mission (a.k.a., the problem you’re looking to solve in the world or the pain in your life you’re trying to find relieve from), you will win in relationships because that integrity will be ingrained in every aspect of the relationships  from love experiences to life's quality to messaging that you are happy, or unhappy.

2. Be Your Brand Missionary and form a union with  a Dream Believer.

Promise me you will stick it out to the very end!

Let me  remind you  that it is the role of the leader in the relationship  “to be the brand missionary, from right in the beginning and all the way through” to the end because no one can know the brand better than you as the leader of the relationship (which ever gender) the brand dream has to be  passionately defined by the proud person  . the other person (you choose) also has to have a firm belief in your abilities, because if that person  does not  believe in your dream as much as you do, it will get off track eventually!  
3. Visualize Your BIG Dreams

I'll carry you  until you no longer need me to carry you!

My mission over the years was always to ignite my woman to dream and do bigger things  with passion and purpose, so I may have believed in a woman more than she believed in herself..... The question is, are you writing the script out on  your own life and are you writing it big enough, and expecting someone else to live up to what you are thinking? Don't just  dream big but to actually practice visualizing and seeing what you want the goals to look like… all the way to the packaging of your product and what you are putting out. OK maybe I’m stretching the  words a bit, but you get the picture. Start a visioning journal and always keep it handy; you never know when creativity will kick in and how much this exercise will see you bringing your dreams into reality.

I got You!

4. Fellah's to be the best.... you can be.... you have to  Empower Women

While this piece of advice truly related to my philosophy over many years, I think it also speaks to the universal principle of baking purpose into your brand as a man. It’s a no-brain-er to me that female-targeting brands must continue to innovate and communicate how they are empowering women within their lifestyle. And if that entails a cause-initiative, then by all means, they should tie that messaging into to their mainstream marketing. I  got this memo a long time ago, my efforts led me to create harmony with women who need someone to believe in them .Allow me to   remind you of the ripple effect and global good that investing in women causes: “When you invest in a woman and a woman creates her own income, she reinvests about 90 percent of her income…into her society!” 

Say it forget it, write it regret it!

Texting creates—and, by nature, almost encourages—poor grammar habits. It also makes communication much less formal and can even make genuine statements seem insincere. Here are some of the problems with texting:

Seriously! He is texting someone else instead of talking to me...... 

1. People who use text adaptations of words tend to have trouble with basic grammar and subject–verb agreement.
2. Using text abbreviations, such as "u" for "you" and "r" for "are" means that texting has a negative influence on people's writing.
3. Use Text speak which encourages the greater misuse of homophones, such as "there" and "their." It also means that more abbreviations, such as "gr8" for "great" or "h8" for "hate," are being used, which negatively impacts  writing.
4. Because text messaging cannot accurately convey tone, emotion, facial expressions, gestures, body language, eye contact, oral speech, or face-to-face conversation, it is likely messages will be misinterpreted or misunderstood. The real meaning of your message gets lost through the medium.
5. All too often, relationships go sour due to miscommunication via email and text messages. To keep this from happening, simply avoid using these mediums to have important conversations. Instead, request the kind of communication you prefer, whether that's face-to-face or over the phone.
6. Texting and using abbreviations for words means that we are losing our ability to have—or are at least avoiding—the traditional face-to-face conversations that are vital in  personal relationships.
7. When people communicate primarily via text, they're much less likely to have meaningful conversations.
8. Texting can have a negative effect on interpersonal development among teens and even adults.

We haven't  even been dating for a month and
she is texting instead of having a conversation with me

So how can we—especially people in relationships —use texting to communicate better? To get your message across clearly, try your best to use full words and proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. A few extra seconds can make a world of difference when it comes to your message being understood the way you intend it to be. Keep texting to a minimum, and use it only for logistical purposes. Try to meet up with your friends in person or talk to them on the phone instead of only texting them. This will increase your communication and interpersonal skills and help you avoid getting used to text speak instead of full words and sentences. 

Let's not forget our manners to that extent  that we kill potentially good relationships.... because you are caught up in the texting world so badly  that you neglect to speak to the  one sitting right next to you. or across from you.  

Ladies! Get a little Kinky or lose out!

Get Kinky with it!
“I have seen people struggle with their desires for kinky sex, BDSM and all manner of fetishes. And as tough as it might be to be honest with others, you first have got to be honest with yourself. Know that is is absolutely OK for you to have kinky desires or outré fetishes, and that you are worthy of having your needs met in a loving and consensual setting.
You and your  husband should  have a consensual ‘Power Exchange’ relationship. He shouldn't have to waited until he is 60 years old to seek out his true desires. He should have  a lifetime of fantasies , even if his upbringing labeled such things forbidden. Then adulthood sealed his fate as a guilt-ridden, secretive dreamer. He should be  happy, fulfilled, kinky as hell and loving the explorations of your new life together.
Dare to get what you want! One of men's few regrets is that they denied themselves this dream for decades. women  on the other hand, have been a hedonistic explorer since high school and had no qualms about telling my partners what they wanted and, in turn, finding out what turned them on.
It can be really scary to tell your beloved that you have desires outside of so-called "vanilla" sex but you'll be happier if you're honest about your desires. Be honest with your partner(s) and honest with yourself and let your freak flag fly, in a form of a whip!

Learn to RECEIVE pleasure in more ways than one.

“In the past I’ve had lovers say that they  were afraid of  orgasms. MY question was: " Have ever really had one?? Or were  you conditioned to fake it, for so long that you actually believed you had one??  You could have the best lover in the world, who knows all the ways to please you with an unlimited supply of energy, stamina  and sexual curiosity. But ladies,  if you’ve been taught or accepted that you’re only allowed a certain amount of happiness, joy and bliss, you may intentionally be limiting your capacity for pleasure.
Some women  allow past lovers to get to a measured point and then they would pull away, that carries over int new relationships..... Try learning  how to actively work on being a pleasure receiver. Much of this deals with shame, guilt and social expectations on what you  were allowed or not allowed to feel. Eventually you will learn, what you are  supposed to FEEL, especially pleasure and bliss! In order to grow in closeness with yourself or your partner, you must actively live in a place of vulnerability.”

Talk Dirty to ‘Em.
“Sex is supposed to be fun so get even more adventurous by talking dirty. Tell your partner how you like it. Share with him where you want it. Use your imagination and voice all of your dirty desires. Sex talk helps to stimulate your sexual partner’s major senses -- so imagine how hot and bothered he’ll be once you tell him how horny you are.”
When it comes to dirty talk,They are the best EVER when you are your partner are not together!  However, have you tried this when both of you are in the same home, at work, or while lying next to one another?”



 Stallion Him, Baby!
“Ladies, this is the secret to your orgasm and to getting whatever you want. Put on a large white t-shirt and a sexy pair of heels! Oooh Yeah!
Now, command your partner to lie on his back. Climb on top, facing him, and go for a ride. Take 10 LONG thrusts -- or however many you like. Control your thrusts, turn around, grab his ankles and continue riding.   This position will keep him from climaxing before you and possibly get those new pair of heels for your next ride. I’m just saying.”


 The Largest Sex Organ?
The Brain
“Many believe the genitals run the show when sex is about to take place, but it is actually the brain that is the center of command in every sexual experience.  The brain is responsible for releasing the hormones. The brain is responsible for the signals and chemicals necessary for the body to prepare for sex, and when the mind is clouded intercourse can become difficult.
Weakened erections, lowered libido, inability to orgasm and vaginal dryness can all be caused by the mind being preoccupied by emotional and psychological factors. Relaxing the mind and becoming one with the body before sex is critical for optimal sexual performance and pleasure.
Release inhibitions by talking before the act, participating in couple's erotic massage, playing music or lighting candles infused with lavender or jasmine essentials oils for relaxation. For more complicated emotional or psychological factors such as depression, low self-esteem or anxiety, seeing a doctor will help in restoring balance within the mind, body and eventually sexual energy.”

Stop with the Jabbing Already!
Tip  for men, so you may want to share it with someone you love.
“Guys, we get it. women warm vaginas are extremely mesmerizing. We know you want to be all up in it but please remember... It's a gentle place and she requires gentle strokes and caresses that make our toes curl up.
Women like a man to rub them gently and turn them on without leaving carve marks on their treasure chest with sharp unfiled nails! Calm down and just stroke with your hands. Don't attack the vajayjay.”
“Neither of you are mind readers. Talk transparently about your likes, dislikes, wants and needs. To have a truly intimate experience, tell your partner where you like to be touched. The more comfortable you are communicating your sexual desires, the better your sexual experience will be.
Focus on pleasing each other. Sex should be a time of selfless connecting with your love; a time of making sure your partners needs and wants are met. If your focus is pleasing him and his focus is pleasing you, both of you will be pleased in the end.” -- Yvonne Chase aka The Single Woman's Cheerleader is a dating and relationship coach to singles and pre-committed couples. Find her at YvonneChase.com mixing her Christian faith with pop culture.

 Remember Making Out?
I hope that you’ve enjoyed all of the steamy tips from my sexpert besties. Here’s one to keep your long-term relationships hot. It is simple, but far from basic.
Remember when kissing each other felt so erotic that you wanted to rip each others’ clothes off ASAP? It was so hot and sexy when you first got together! You would put your lips together and let your tongues explore. Now you just automatically repeat the same formula, night after night.
The lips are an incredible erogenous zone. Bring kissing back to your erotic repertoire. Touching lips and tongues can enhance the bond with your partner like none other. Sex workers will do everything else except kissing because the act is so intimate. You’re not just swapping spit!
Sexy romantic kissing gets your feel-good love hormones like dopamine and ocytocin flowing. Your heart rate increases. Your pulse quickens. Your partner feels the hotness. Yes... If kissing has escaped from your bag of sexual tricks - bring it back, fast! Extra points if you can build anticipation by kissing in a place where you can’t readily get naked.