Black Women Working at the intersections: What Black Women are up against.

Black women face vast obstacles due to racism and sexism.

Living at the intersection of racism and sexism is far from easy. Black Women are discriminated against for being Black and for being women, and they exist in both identities at all times. The story of Black women at work and in life is one of resilience. Despite the challenges and barriers in their way, black women have accomplished so much and continue to make amazing strides. They are highly educated. They are ambitious. They are business owners forging their own paths. Their drive to succeed is often not just for themselves, but also to lift up our communities.

Outside of work, women are at the forefront of social change. As the National Women’s Law Center has stated, “Almost all social justice movements were and are carried on the backs of Black women.” Women contributions to culture—in academia, literature, music, fashion, social media, feminism, and so much more—are undeniable. And women challenge society to be better. As Maya Angelou said in 1978, “Out of the huts of history’s shame, I rise. Up from a past that’s rooted in pain, I rise.” Women rise.

 

More than just a few Black Women are highly educated.

• Black women enroll in college at higher rates than men overall and—most notably—at higher rates than white men. this is probably the one of the reasons that Joe Biden wants a Black woman as his VP running mate.

• Between 2004 and 2014, the share of Black women with a bachelor’s degree or higher increased by 24%

Black Women are ambitious—for themselves and to make the workplace better for others.

• As many Black women as white men (41%) say that they want to become top executives

• Of Black women who want to become top executives, about half—more than any other racial or ethnic group of women—say they are motivated by the desire to be role models for others like them

• More than half of Black women who want to become top executives also say that they are driven by a desire to influence the culture of their workplace—again, they are more likely than any other racial or ethnic group of women to name this as a motivation

Final thought

Black Women are the fastest-rising entrepreneurial group among women.

• Between 1997 and 2017, the number of Black women–owned businesses grew by more than 600%, compared to just 39% for white women–owned businesses and 114% for women-owned businesses overall

Systemic Racism at Work: Black women are successful in many ways, but their achievements are in spite of glaring inequality in society—including the workplace. For the last five years, Lean In’s research on Women in the Workplace tells the same story: in so many different ways, Black women have a harder and worse experience than almost everyone else. We’re overrepresented in minimum-wage jobs. We’re hired and promoted more slowly. We are often the only Black woman in the room and experience a greater variety of microaggressions than women of other races and ethnicities. And we’re paid less than men and most other groups of women.

 Black Women are overrepresented in minimum-wage jobs and almost nonexistent in the C-suite.

at the end of a black woman's work career she is tired, and beaten down. 

• Black women make up 7% of the total workforce but account for 12% of minimum-wage earners

• Only 21% of C-suite leaders are women, only 4% are women of color, and only 1% are Black women

• Not a single Fortune 500 or S&P 500 company has a Black woman CEO (as of June 19, 2020)

We face bias and systemic barriers in hiring and promotions.

• For every 100 men hired into manager roles, only 64 Black women are hired

• For every 100 men promoted to manager, only 58 Black women are promoted

• 47% of Black transgender women report being fired, denied a promotion, or not hired because of their gender identity

Black Women mobilize our communities, friends, and families to vote.

• In 2018, 84% of Black women voters said they’d talked to their friends and family about voting, the highest percentage of any racial or ethnic group

• Black women also tend to vote at higher rates than other groups. Despite voter suppression, eligible Black women voted at rates 6 percentage points above the national average in 2018

Stop saying I am sorry, when it is not necessary.

Why say “sorry” when “I’m not really sorry.”

Apologising unnecessarily can have negative effects on both your personal reputation and your view of yourself. While you may think you're being kind or empathetic, saying ‘I’m sorry’ too much can give off the appearance of incompetence and undermine your authority or expertise with colleagues, managers, and clients, friends and lovers among others. Over the years, I've heard dozens of younger people -- especially women -- apologizing profusely in the workplace, and in social settings, even when they've done nothing wrong! This tendency to apologize is simply not a good thing; it affects the way young professionals feel about themselves, and it can even set them back in their careers, and put them in a disadvantaged position in relationships. If you're starting out in the workplace, you need to believe in your actions so deeply that you stand behind them, or else rethink them all together. If Another Woman Is Being Rude or Uncivil to You at Work, Here's What You Can Do Unnecessary or avoidable apologizing can hurt your professional self. Why? Because apologizing when you've done nothing wrong isn't fair to yourself, and apologizing too often can lessen the power of the words when you've actually made a mistake. If you apologize too much, your audience will no longer accept it as legitimate. The apologies become irrelevant and exhausted. As professional women's coach and TEDX speaker Melody Wildling notes on her blog , apologies that come across as insincere break professional trust and set women back in achieving their goals. Most people can admit that they've used the phrase "I'm sorry" as an easy way out. Sometimes rushing to admit fault makes it easier to ignore mistakes, because you feel like you've made amends by quickly acknowledging you were wrong. Some people saying "I'm sorry" -- whether they mean it or not -- wash their hands of the issue, and move on. Ever done this? Everyone has. But, apologizing does not course correct, or offer a solution. Many times, we'd be better served by removing the "I'm sorry" and replacing it with something more valuable. Related: How This Founder Uses Obstacles as Inspiration: 'I'm Making Lemonade' The potential downsides of "sorry" raise a lot of questions. What happens when you do make a mistake? How does an apology then affect our professional lives? How can we avoid an apology while still acknowledging change is necessary? And when do apologies really have a place? To figure these out for yourself, follow these three steps. 1. Instead of apologizing, offer a solution. If you took a misguided approach to a task, rather than making a conscious bad decision, you can offer a solution to your mistake instead. For example, if you sent an email to an important client, but there is information missing and you need to send an additional email. Skip the "I'm sorry, forgot one thing!" or "My apologies, here is the missing information," and move right to the "In my last email I did not include “X” Below are the additional details." You have not admitted fault, you have simply corrected a mistake. You can take it further as well. Maybe it's your boss who noticed the mistake, and now you have to fix it. Instead of "I'm so sorry I forgot that information," try "You are correct, I did not include that information, I will send it right now." Working like this makes you look polished, professional and confident and shows that you're willing to do what's needed to keep things moving. The more you can proactively address your mistakes, the better your professional performance will be. A 2010 study found that the most important factor of a successful apology is that the person who made the mistake can demonstrate empathy, which usually requires time. People who say “sorry” too quickly give the impression that they haven't really thought through all the repercussions of their actions. Prove that you don't see your apology as a get-out-of-jail-free card by talking through why mistake is important and really trying to fix it. In this Era of #MeToo, Telling Women to 'Lean In' Does More Harm Than Good. Try trading remorse for gratitude. Let's say you're late to a meeting. Your instinct might be to say, "So sorry, I'm late!" Instead try "Thank you for your patience." I have personally used this technique and have found that expressing gratitude instead of remorse or regret completely changes the tone you set when walking into a room or starting a conversation. You are acknowledging the issue in addition, yet setting up a positive environment for what's to come. Saying thank you shows that you are respectful of the other  person’s time, but keeps you from looking critical of yourself. "Sorry" can make you look -- and feel -- inferior to the people you're dealing with. It may affect the way they look at you, or worse -- the way you feel about yourself. An Ohio State University study validates something you might already know: Poor self-confidence seriously hurts young people with professional and personal  goals. If you believe you are bad at your job, you won't aim as high as you otherwise might. Mentally categorizing missteps as "offenses" is a dangerous practice, and it disproportionately affects young women. According to the Association of Psychological Science , women report not only apologizing more often than men, but also doing more things "wrong." It's not that women just apologize more -- it's that they perceive more mistakes in themselves. That isn't accurate, and it isn't healthy. Ladies head Into Your Next Male-Dominated Meeting Ready to Contribute by Following These Tips; Conclude with a real, authentic apology. Sometimes, the situation still calls for a downright apology. Such is life! To understand if the situation truly warrants words of atonement, ask yourself honestly whether you've made your most conscious decision, explore other unapologetic avenues, and see if you still believe an apology is necessary. This is the only good recipe for a genuine apology. This authenticity is necessary for an apology, and without it, the apology is useless. This thoughtfulness in deciding to use an apology, after exploring other tactics for problem solving, will help you make conscious decisions about apologizing rather than using apologies senselessly. When you say “sorry,” the other person will know that you mean it. If you are conscious in your choices and have strong, thoughtful reasoning for your choices, you should not have to apologize. In other words, you are who you are, and if you are living authentically and consciously, there is no apology needed. If you do make an error and truly find that it's time to apologize, then the "sorry" you give will really count.

 

Final thoughts

It takes great efforts to stop doing what you have been doing for many years. Women (especially black)  have to stop feeling like they have something to apologize for. If you think you are right don’t say “sorry” in any part of the sentence. Part of the problem is that women often allow others to validate them, even when the women are in the strongest position. Women apologize too often, it’s as if they they are saying “I want to be judged by you”, “if your judgement  of me is negative then let me apologize for wasting your time.” Or  “If your assessment of me is positive let me apologize for making you feel  less important than me!”

PLease do not Compare me to someone else

Are you my soul mate? Your spots remind me of someone his behaviour never changed he was always hunting for new prey!

We all make the mistake of comparing  folks to other people we once knew.

Men do it by say stupid stuff like she reminds me of that model or movie star. As if she will like the comparison and treat his words  like they are compliments. 

Women seldom compare men to movie stars they compare them to other men they may had experiences with.

 So how do we fix these stupid comparisons that seldom have good results. We need to talk less about other people and accept folks for whoever  they are. Sounds simple but it’s not so simple. If a man learns how to flirt with a woman he would never ever say to her you remind me of so and so. Women may not tell you that you remind her of Mr. So and so, but her reactions to the things you do and say may take her there into the deep resesses of her memory. You would have to be a mind reader to get what is bothering her about you. I met a lovely womana few years ago she told me she thought I was someone else…. Which translated to me she thought about someone else when she thought I was him. Only God knows what she was thinking. And since I didn’t see it as a compliment I didn’t ask her to tell me about  who ever it was that she thougth I was. My initial attitude may have triggered something in her mind. Having initials  BAD is never a good conversation starter. She is not looking forward to being in relationship with someone who is advertising that he is B.A.D. guy. Especially if she is a good woman.

Her body language will speak volumes. You have to read what she is telling you.

 

Most men  would love for a woman to see him as the guy that will rock her world but not remind her of the guy she once knew who look just like Atlas.

Final thought

Let’s face it comparisons are never a good thing for either gender. 

You comparisons most often conflicts with the way the other person sees themself. 

Just compliment the other person without say you remind of  whoever. Or you look so much like so and so, A by all means do not refer to the other person as a Barack or Michele Obama look alike. They will never see it as a compliment.