Trusting everyone, is not really the opposite to trusting Nobody!

 A woman with trust issues is a woman who has heard the promises ‘I will never hurt you’ too many times with actions that showed otherwise. It feels like having trust issues is like one of the biggest roadblocks you can face in your life. Not only are we always skeptical about trusting people but we start to become negative in our head too.

We live in a world where we are continuously surrounded by media in some form or the other. This is what gives us the unrealistic expectation of love and relationships. Our expectation of love doesn’t come from our parents or family, it is based on the fiction we see in movies, television, and books. This is what makes our perception of love unreal and naïve. However, this naivety lasts only until your first major heartbreak. It is only after that the reality of the situation starts to hit that you tend to realize reality is far from what media portrays. It is important to have standards so as to not end up settling but we also need to be mindful and realistic on what we expect from love and relationships.

I was that person once. Young, naïve, and living in my own fantasy of what love means. Then something fantastic happened, I fell in love or at least I thought I did. It felt amazing and magical somehow at the beginning like I own the world and nothing can go wrong. It was at that exact time when reality hit and things went down south. I didn’t understand what had happened, I mean there’s always a happily ever after in TV right? Well, that is not the case. I was hurt, confused and jaded in a certain sense. I told myself that if this is what love feels like, I never want to fall in love ever again.

Then, the inevitable happened; she falls for someone again. She was scared of course. She didn’t want to get hurt again. She  is guarded but she eventually gave in and it was at that very moment that she saw her trust being broken.

Trust is like paper, once it’s crumpled, it can never be perfect and smooth again.

A woman with "trust" issues is like an onion, you need to peel it one layer at a time; you can’t just cut through with a knife and expect to be in. Rather than being excited at a prospect of a date or meeting someone new, women tensions are high. It’s not fair to anyone but they are a product of their past experiences and women will continue being this way until someone shows them a reason to feel otherwise. We need to understand that women weren’t born with trust issues. We may not think their past was a big deal but the baggage women are carrying is what is putting them down. They don’t think they  need men to fix things; they just need us to be supportive while they are trying to fight themselves. Their hearts have been played with, they have been cheated on, and they know how shitty it feels. So rest assured, if we are in it with you, we will give you all we have.

That being said, there are a few things you can do to get someone with trust issues to actually trust you.

1. First and foremost, make sure your intentions are genuine. If not, please don’t waste their time and yours. Over a period of time we have become very intuitive on who we should and should not trust.
2. Fellahs. Learn to be patient. Women will take their sweet time until they are sure about you. You will need to make the first move because they are going to be cautious for a while.
3. If you actually care, take the first step. Don’t sit around and expect us to do it.
4. Listen when they talk. I know most guys aren’t good listener but at least try. They will surely acknowledge the efforts.
5. Please be honest with her. Understand that women were lied to a lot and it will always hurt. You really don’t want to be the person to add to their pain.
6. Actions do speak louder than words so complement your words with actions.
7. Don’t break their trust again. It has been a hard enough for us just to get ourselves to trust you again so don’t be that person who makes us doubt our judgment again.

I truly believe that women only need that one guy to make them realize why it didn’t work out with anyone else. They want  that guy. It’s harder than you can imagine for a person with trust issues to start trusting again, so when she says ‘I trust you’,  confirm it by acting correctly, don’t make her regret it.