Things Guys don't Do That do Not Turn Women On enough

 

                                                                                                                                                                           I did NOT  know that

While browsing through some titles I saw  this one: "the man that fell to Earth" that got me thinking so here goes:

Some guys don’t know what makes women tick either because they don’t have a good relationship with women or because they don’t spend some In Reality time observing them. 

The thing is, women and men think differently on many grounds. And if you’re too self-absorbed as a guy, thinking the same things that will impress you will impress a woman, you’re going to get disappointed a lot with women. 

Most of the things that turn a woman on are surprising and counterintuitive to many men. 

 Vulnerability 

Most of us guys believe we have to be tough all the time. Men are taught very early (by older men) on to not show too much emotion. And for this reason, most men learn to not show any form of vulnerability around women. 

But the truth is that vulnerability can make a woman feel more connected to you. 

Think about it. Showing a woman that you can be vulnerable around her tells her that she’s special to you. It means you trust her, and she can trust you to be transparent with her anytime. 

For instance, some men will still like to show dominance even when they are at fault. But a man who willingly opens up and simply admits his wrongs, though is vulnerable at that moment, will only melt his woman’s heart with his honesty and emotional maturity. 

As much as it is good for a man to be dominant and masculine, showing vulnerability once in a while can make your woman feel that special bond with you. 

Being nice to others 

Kind people are charming. 

You’ve probably heard the idea that if you want to get a good understanding of someone’s true nature, watch how they treat those who are in a lesser position, like service staff, waiters, etc. 

Everyone responds well to kindness. We all want someone who has a good heart, who is caring and empathetic. 

A man who treats others with kindness and respect shows his woman that he isn’t just nice to her because she’s pretty or because he wants something from her. It’s his nature, and she can count on him to be that to her anytime any day. 

And this assurance will make her feel safe with him. 

Knowing how to make her crave you 

Keeping the romance in a relationship is hard work. Most people just go with the flow and gradually let a natural decay slowly kill the relationship. 

This is why it takes a deliberate effort to make a relationship work. And when a man knows what to do to keep the romance alive, it blows a woman’s mind away. 

Men who understand this know the value of space. They know that it’s not just about giving the woman their attention all the time. They understand that as much as attention is good, it’s also good to go away, and let the mind want what it already has. 

This is perhaps why Esther Perel, a relationship therapist put it that desire needs space. Those who don’t understand this simple concept end up with a passion that only lasts as long as their hormones can remain fired up. 

 Eye contact 

Scientifically, it’s been found that making eye contact with someone we love makes us feel good. 

And this is because when two people who are attracted to each other mutually gaze into each other’s eyes, the brain releases oxytocin, which in turn makes the two people looking at each other bond more. 

Furthermore, a man who always makes good eye contact with his woman makes her feel special. When he’s looking at her, it’s evident that he’s paying attention. It means he respects her, and whatever she has to say is deserving of his undivided attention. 

 Deep voice 

Most women are turned on by a deep baritone voice. And this is partly because we all want what we don’t or can’t have. Women typically have soft and mild voices. And hearing a man who has a strong, deep voice just feels good. 

Being good with your hands 

You don’t need to be an A-class mechanic, plumber, or electrician. But if you happen to have any of these skills, then it’s an added advantage to you. 

The point is that ladies like men who know how to fix things. And the reason is simple. For a woman, watching a man fix something that is broken is like watching a magician perform his tricks. 

And one of the reasons for this is that fixing things is not a skill most women are interested in. This is partly why women dominate careers like nursing while men dominate engineering or architecture. 

Hence, seeing a man do his thing, fixing broken stuff, as simple as it might seem to most men, is just an amazing sight for most women. 

Intelligence 

Studies show that intelligence is one of the major things women look at when choosing a romantic partner. 

And one of the reasons women find intelligence attractive, as many women have confessed, is how intelligence manifests in a man.

For instance, if you’re in a conversation (or an argument) with an intelligent man, he’s able to show you how independent his mind is. Instead of just agreeing with everything the woman says, he’s going to present unique perspectives that are going to make the women look at the world differently. 

And this isn’t something most women come across every day. 

Furthermore, intelligent men are just more self-aware. They can handle conversations better and handle themselves properly. Women find all these charming. 

 Having a skill 

In her research which she did across several countries, the relationship therapist Esther Perel found that most couples confessed that they found their partners most attractive when they were in their element. 

Meaning when their partner is on stage playing the piano, singing, acting, dancing, etc, they find them most attractive at that moment. This is the power of having a skill. 

Apart from the fact that being good at a skill is a sign of intelligence, it also makes you admired by many

Meaning when their partner is on stage playing the piano, singing, acting, dancing etc, they find them most attractive at that moment. This is the power of having a skill. 

Apart from the fact that being good at a skill is a sign of intelligence, it also makes you admired by many

Conclusion 

As the saying goes, your looks might capture people’s attention, but it’s your character that will keep them interested. Nothing on this list has to do with looks. Meaning, they are all learnable if you’re not implementing them already. 

So should she be grateful or thankful

The Oxford Dictionary defines the word grateful as “showing an appreciation of kindness.” This is where the difference lies; being thankful is a feeling, and being grateful is an action. It’s easy for us to look around the Thanksgiving dinner table and say that we are thankful.

 

A woman differs from a man in so many ways. Their emotions are different. The way they react to situations differs from the way men do.

I'm thankful for his attention, that is all!

Often some men complain about not knowing exactly what their spouse wants from them, especially when they have done all they know to do to please her.

Here is a good example:

A friend of mine came to me one day, and he complained bitterly about his spouse. “I don’t know what else she wants from me,” he exclaimed in frustration.

He continued, “I give her more than enough money to take care of herself. Isn’t that enough for her? Yet she complains insistently that I don’t care about her!”

That’s the belief of an average man. An average man believes all it takes to make a woman happy is money.

The truth is, money is important to a woman, but it’s not all there is to have a successful relationship with a woman. Women have other important needs apart from money.

Many times it’s failing to understand a woman's needs that makes some men believe women are the biggest problem of a man. Failure to understand a woman can also result in serious marital conflicts.

1. A woman is like a mirror

A mirror reflects whatever that’s presented before it. Women naturally reflect a man's attitudes and behaviors towards them.

If you treat a woman right, her natural tendency is to reciprocate it.

An Anonymous Author puts it this way:

A woman becomes a reflection of how you treat her. If you don't like how she's acting, look at how you are treating her.

Most often than not, a woman reflects what you bring before her, either good or bad.

• If you love and respect her, she does the same to you.
• If you treat her like a queen, she treats you like a king ( or maybe a crown prince).
• If you dishonor her, she dishonors you, too.

Whatever you want your women to be, live it as an example. If you want her to be respectful, show it to her. If you want her to be submissive, teach her by example and be patient with her.

I have to make sure he rewards me for the attention he gets

2. Women are attention seekers

Women can always tell if a man loves her by how much time he’s willing to invest. Money spent is meaningless, but time spent is priceless. — Tony A. Gaskin Jr.

Many things a woman does, the goal is to secure a man’s attention. Things like the clothes she wears, her hairdo, her makeup, her walking style, etc, are mainly to gain a man’s attention.

"Grateful is the feeling or showing an appreciation
 for something done or received while thankful
is the expressing gratitude and relief. "

Getting a man’s attention is very vital to a woman.

If you truly want to have a good relationship with a woman, you need to be intentional about giving her the attention she deserves. Make her feel important.

• Make it a habit to compliment her new hairdo.
• Always compliment her dresses.
• Learn to compliment her extra effort to look more beautiful. Tell her you believe her middle name should be "beautiful".
• Always remind her she means the world to you.

You must also learn to communicate with her. If she wants to talk, let her talk. It may look sometimes very boring and inconvenient, just enjoy the process. After all, relationships thrive on sacrifice. Listen to her and make meaningful contributions to what she says.

Women love guys who give them attention.

On the flip side, if you’re not giving your woman the needed attention, she may resort to getting it through negative means — by complaining, nagging, quarreling, and anything just to get that attention.

3. Women love intimacy.

It’s not uncommon to see some women complain about their men not being close to them. They complain their partner is like a stranger to them.

Some men, however, can’t understand why a woman should complain about them not being close to her. Men find it difficult to understand the reason because they probably feel, “we eat together, live under the same roof, sleep in the same bed. Why does she still complain?”

The reality is, a woman's definition of intimacy differs from that of a man. For a woman, intimacy goes beyond eating together, sleeping on the bed, and living under the same roof together.

This is what intimacy is to a woman:

• She wants to be your friend, not just a sex mate.
• She wants you to carry her along.
• She wants to feel important and valued.
• She wants you to share your greatest fears and deepest secrets with her.
• She wants you to spend quality time together with her.

The emotional needs of a woman are unique. She wants to be close to you and feel emotionally connected to you.

You need to listen to me

Final Thought

To please a woman and make her happy, you must be able to identify her needs by listening to her and applying yourself to meeting those needs.

Even though you’re unable to meet all her needs, that you’re making genuine efforts to meet those needs makes a woman happy too. I can tell you this, she will love you for it.

a Woman is not one of your Boys, stop talking to her as if she is a guy

 OK, Because male-based generics are another indicator — and more importantly, a reinforcer — of a system in which "man" in the abstract and men in the flesh are privileged over women. Some say that language merely reflects reality and so we should ignore our words and work on changing the unequal gender arrangements that are reflected in our language. Well, yes, in part.

Did he just refer to me as "man"

It's no accident that "man" is the anchor in our language and "woman" is not. And of course we should make social change all over the place. But the words we use can also reinforce current realities when they are sexist (or racist or heterosexist). Words are tools of thought. We can use words to maintain the status quo or to think in new ways -- which in turn creates the possibility of a new reality. It makes a difference if I think of myself as a "man" or a "woman" it makes a difference if we talk about "Negroes" or "African-Americans." Do we want a truly inclusive language or one that just pretends?

I need to pay more attention to what I call women

I'm convinced that choosing not to use "guys" is not just about creating a "new reality," but also has more immediate, personal consequences. A friend who works on a male-dominated team in field in which woman are scarce told me, "It used to not really bother me — because I say it a ton, and really don't mind when addressed as such because it's basically ingrained in society. But I've found that now that I'm on a team with only men, when they use it, it bothers me more." she said.

I asked around on Social Media and found that while plenty of people (men and women) said they used "guys" and their mixed-gender groups of friends were fine with it, plenty more said they were trying to eliminate it.  They offered up their alternatives, and there were more options than had originally occurred to me. However when guys get together and refer to their buddies as "ladies" or "bitches" the y are being sarcastic of insulting.  think before you insult people what does that say about you when you do things that this all of the time.

maybe we should give people the option and let them pick what works best for them  for example

• Friends

• Folks
• Everyone
• Colleagues
• Gang
• Team
• Y'all
• Guys and girls

They are not all going to fit every personality, or be appropriate in every situation, but it seems there are enough alternatives that we can pick and choose without too much trouble.

Why Being Alone Is Better Than Being In A Bad Relationship

 Growing up, you probably saw your fair share of movies and TV shows that portrayed relationships as some sort of fairytale. In that world, no problems ever existed. Unfortunately, most, if not all, relationships go through trials and tribulations. Indeed, these challenges can either strengthen or weaken the couple’s relationship. Bumps in the road happen in any relationship, but if you find that you feel stressed, anxious, depressed, or any other negative emotion the majority of the time in your relationship, then it can send your mental and physical health on a downward spiral.

So my relationship is not like a fairytale?

Many people feel very afraid of being alone and would rather stay in an unhealthy relationship, surprisingly, but this can cost you your sanity and energy in the long run. Scientists have also found truth in this idea and reveal why you’ll fare better alone than in a bad relationship.

In reality, we’d all like every relationship to go smoothly and not give us any headaches. But with the state of the world today, this just isn’t realistic. Every couple will go through their ups and downs. But the key to a healthy relationship is that you work together as a team and connect deeply on many levels. Couples should support and encourage each other, showing plenty of love and affection along the way. Each party should take time to fully listen and understand their partner during discussions or disagreements. Respect, trust, communication, and love have to exist for a long-term relationship to work. You get through the hard times together, supporting one another along the way and celebrating the good times while they last.

 studies  on the relationships of couples from rural Iowa and found that staying in an unhealthy relationship damages one’s health far more than remaining single. Taking data from a sample of young folks coming from two-parent, married families, the lead researcher on the team,  one-third of the subjects went through pretty major changes in their relationships over the course of two years.

“the research took into account satisfaction, partner hostility, questions about criticism, support, kindness, affection and commitment,” says Barr. “We also asked about how partners behave outside of the relationship. Do they  depressive symptoms, alcohol problems, and poorer general health.

do not make it complicated when it isnt, its all biological

 

When you are living in your head, she is living in her head, your thoughts are different.

Men and women are different–and think differently

There are some good biological reasons for that. Studies of brain scans of men and women show that women tend to use both sides of their brain because they have a larger corpus callosum. This is the bridge between the two hemispheres of the brain and allows women to share information between those two halves of the brain faster than men. Men tend to use the left side of the brain which is the more logical and rational side of the brain.

Scans also reveal other interesting ways in which men and women do things differently or process information differently from each other.

Perception

Women have smaller brains that are more tightly packed with connections. This allows women to perform better at tasks involving the bigger picture and situational thinking. A man’s brain tends to perform better at spatial thinking involving recognizing patterns and problem solving with objects in a spatial environment.

One Track Mind

Men tend to excel better at singular tasks while women are better at juggling a number of tasks at once. This may stem from the primordial male role of the hunter who is fixated on a singular objective while the traditional female role of manager of the home forced her to juggle many tasks simultaneously.

3. Social Interactions

Women tend to perform better in social situations than men do. Men tend to excel at more abstract thinking and task-oriented jobs. Again, this may stem from the traditional gender roles whereby women had to work together to accomplish more complex tasks while men spent more time alone stalking prey.

4. Dealing with Emotions

Women have a larger limbic system in their brains which allows them to be more in touch and expressive about their emotions. Men tend to be a little oblivious with emotions that are not explicitly verbalized. Men tend to be more logical in their thinking and dismiss information that is not directly involved with the issue they are tackling. Women tend to be much more empathetic and susceptible to emotions influencing their thinking.

5. Do the Math

Men tend to have larger inferior parietal lobules than women. This area of the brain is thought to control mathematical ability and processes. Men tend to do better with math because of this. This isn’t to say that there are not women who are great at math, but that men have a small biological advantage when it comes to math and logic-based skills.

Dealing With Pain

The amygdala is the area of the brain responsible for pain. Pain is activated in either the right (men) or left (women) hemispheres. The right side is more connected with external stimuli, while the left is more connected to internal stimuli. Women tend to feel pain more intensely than men do because of this.

7. Learn Languages

Women tend to be better at learning languages and are more attuned to words and sounds. This may be why men tend to find it harder to express themselves verbally. It may stem from the increased demand on women over millions of years to cooperate and organize in order to manage large complex tasks.

8. Women Remember Better

Women tend to have higher activity in their hippocampus, the region responsible for forming and storing memories, than men do. Studies have shown that women tend to remember faces, names, objects and events better than men.

 Ask for Directions

Men tend to have better spatial-reasoning skills and are better at remembering geographic details. They tend to have a better innate sense of direction and remember where areas and locations are. This ability most likely stems from their days as hunters when men had to navigate long distances without the aid of a map and compass.

10. Risk Taking

Men tend to be more likely to take risks. Women tend to be more risk-averse. Men get a bigger dose of endorphins when they take risks. The bigger the risk, the larger the pleasure derived from the risky behavior. Men may be specialized to take more risks because of early human’s need to hunt down food which may be larger, stronger, and more dangerous than a single man. Hunting is also inherently dangerous as you think some predator may be stalking you while you are stalking another prey animal.

Final thought.

Sex.....

Men tend to be more visual in what arouses them, while women tend to be turned on by a combination of things like ambiance, emotions, scents as well as visual perceptions.

While equal, men and women have different biological strengths and weaknesses. These differences may stem from a very long period of specialization between genders. Humans have been hunter/gatherers much longer than we have been civilized farmers and tradesmen. This long period of adaptation to changing environments may be responsible in some small part for traditional gender roles based on biology and physical specialization. Men and women, while different, are complementary like a knife and a fork.