Why is it that older men love dating younger women, and many people don’t think much about it? It doesn’t require any research to realize that older men love someone who makes them feel young at heart. However, why is it that the younger women who loves to date older guys are often stereotyped?
While most research cite specifically deals with younger women-older gentlemen attractions, some could argue that younger men-older women relationships are now flourishing, as well. However, I will leave the second topic to a separate blog post!
Attraction to an Older Man
Some say that these younger women have daddy issues when they want someone older, but that’s not always the case. Others say they are just interested in money. You must put stereotypes aside and realize that some women love the senior guy because of his maturity. They also crave the worldly wisdom they’ve obtained as well as the financial stability they’ve acquired. Keep in mind that financial stability doesn’t always mean wealth. It just means that they’ve made their blunders at a young age and have already learned the hard financial lessons. Society tends to accept a small age gap, which is anywhere from 5-10 years difference. However, what about the women that date men that are old enough to be their fathers(20 years or more)? Is there a limit on age restrictions, and how do you know if the age gap is too much for a relationship?
There are both evolutionary and social motives behind a woman wanting an older man. Irrespective of the motive, both parties will have to overcome much stigma and many stereotypes to be together. If you are a bible reader, go find a relationship between men and women in the bible I believe most women are somewhat younger than their men... I have yet to read about an older woman with a younger man in any testament.
Many people will stop and gawk when they see an older man holding hands or kissing a younger woman in public. It has to do with cultural norms and what society expects. People passing have no clue about this couple, yet they are ready to make snap judgments on what they see.
Many studies have been conducted on these types of relationships, and science has come up with a few answers.
The Apparent Unfair Benefit of Age
In 2018, a study examined why there are so much prejudice and stereotypes when people are involved in age gap relationships. The bias rate was much higher in a relationship where the woman was younger and the man much older. Many think that the man has the upper hand in these unions, which equals relational inequity. Older men that enter a relationship with younger women are often called “cradle robbers,” but the women are called “gold diggers,” both of which are derogatory terms.
Other women see the younger lady with an older gentleman, and they perceive that they want a comfortable lifestyle that money and this guy can offer. In other cases, they may insist that it’s the connections and resources they wish to gain to help further their career or obtain a certain social status in life. Not all relationships are about money or influence. In fact, many people are together because they love each other and nothing else. True love doesn’t look at the chronological age and see any difference as it’s more focused on the heart and the brain.
Interpersonal Connection and Age
In 2016, a study was done on why some women wanted the older man as a partner. When the age gap is more than ten years, people think it’s an unhealthy relationship with the father. This study wanted to prove or discredit this theory, and they found that it’s not a fair stereotype because there’s no truth in these claims. Of the 173 participants in this study, 44 were dating men at least a decade older than themselves. Most of these women had good relationships with their fathers and did not need to seek solace or a father/daughter relationship with an older man.
About 75 percent of the women said that they weren’t looking for a father figure, but they preferred the company of an older man to make them feel secure. If the father had been a great role model for the younger woman in life, then the maturity level they observed growing up brings them comfort in their relationship.
Younger Women Want Pleasant, and Strong Relationships–Regardless of Age
A couple with any sort of age difference can enjoy a healthy, satisfying, and loving relationship. Regardless of whether there are ulterior motives or one of the parties suffers from past childhood issues, many have strong unions that can stand up against the scrutiny of society.
Sure, there are couples where a younger woman wants to date the older man due to ulterior motives or because they are looking for a marriage of convenience. However, it’s unfair to lump all relationships with age gaps in this category. More often than not, people come together because they love each other.
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