We can't make it work unless we agree that we will disagree from time to time!

A man browses around a bookstore for half an hour before going up to a clerk."Excuse me," he says. "I'm looking for a book called 'The Perfect Marriage.'"
The clerk respond, "Have you looked in the fiction section?" 
It does not have to be fiction If you recognize "the stage" you are currently in and focus on getting through it, which might get you ready to tackle the next stage, and the multiple acts in each subsequent stage. The following gives a glimpse into each stage using a little fiction...... 


the Intro stage: Let's meet and learn how to communicate. 

Here is where most of us start our relationships. Young people using  the gift of communication to say the right things. Putting in the work on  making a connection. Finding each other in the crowd. Seeing  the pretty face and great body, but not really caring about what come after you hookup and commit to a life time of compromises, sacrifices and patience..This is what  no one tells you.  No one prepares you for all these various stages of adjustments.

This is your first stage, act 1.  She needs to trust your decision making ability.
She says to him "I think we're lost, we better pull over and ask directions." 

The male response: "Are you kidding me, ask directions in this area of town? This is where we will make the headline news. With these headlines"  - 'Couple found killed at the side of the road. Possible Carjacking.... Woman raped and man killed for asking directions from the Carjackers'. 

Stage two, act 2: she Loves the way you spoil her.
"Honey, Can you help me? Where are you? Why is it that you are nowhere to be found when I'm cooking dinner?"

"Baby your meals are so good I will only spoil it if I'm helping. This is Why you are my Chef and I get to enjoy the best meals with you. My girls are green with envy. I bet you when you tell your boys how you spoil me they make smart remarks." -   "No. I'm always slicing unions when they come over so I make them cry as they walk through the door. They like my cooking too so they will not spoil it by calling me hen pecked." 


Stage three, act 3: the Kids are killing the spontaneous moments.

"Sometimes I just want to be held." 

His response: "Men need to be held too, we sometimes need comfort and re-assurance!"
Her response:"Yes, but what is your real motive here. Let's wait till the kids are asleep." His motive: "But then I will be into the basketball game, and if  the game goes into over time then you will be asleep.
The kids are playing they will not even miss us. Unless you start singing the Hallelujah chorus again." 
     

Get ready for the Trouble ahead

Stage Four, act 4. I didn't remember, because I forgot! 

"Why are you not seeing that I'm sorry.   I knew that today had meaning but I just forgot what it meant to you.  The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything, sometimes we just forget who we did it with. Can I get off the hook by claiming Amnesia?"

"NO, You forgot our anniversary, the place we met, my favorite color, My favorite restaurant, My mother's name, Our special song...... Your Amnesia argument is Preposterous!"

Stage five, act 5: Stretching the pay checks.

Balancing the Budget together is a tough task, here is where couples really test their stress levels!

"Why did you spend good money for that?" These are moment when the following is easier said than done. "Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be. (RED)



Stage six, act 6: It's cheaper to keep her.

Staying together during tough economic times.

Couples who may have previously given up on their relationship are working harder to stay together because it cost too much to split up and start all over as singles. The cost of separating and living in two homes is an expensive option, so they find ways to stay together. This is Not necessarily a BAD thing! Compromise is needed, consideration is needed, having faith is  needed and commitment is absolutely needed. The reality of the situation allows you to truly understand what "for richer or for poorer" really means.

Here comes those moments where no one will give an inch no matter what!

Stage seven, act 7: I'm not willing to give up the remote control.
"Who cares about Monday Night Football, let's watch Opera."

"It's the Monday night game between two undefeated teams. Opera will tell you, you don't need a man, you can build a Billion dollar company just by losing and gaining weight from one season to the next."
Having different interest can mean spending quality time doing things  separately. Different rooms, never interested in the same things. Not willing to even make an exception, not even once. "You knew what I liked when you met me. If you wanted me to be different then you should have made a different choice!" - " Well You weren't my first choice"  




Stage eight, act 8: Do your own thing...... but leave the past in the past..
"While you are up, can I get me a drink?" No Response to the question. 

"You are always on that Facebook why can't you give it a rest. You will never find that teenage heart-throb you had a crush on. He is probably old, grey, with a beer belly. Do You think he even  remembers you.  And.... if he does what would you tell him? That you never could get over that first kiss. Wait a minute you told me I was your first. Is there something.....  you forgot to tell me?" (Here again you are struck by the reality that you weren't the first choice)

  

Re-connecting made simple!

Stage nine, act 9: Re-connect and enjoy the sunsets.

We can make it last if we try, and try and try to adjust to change.

We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them. Who ever said you can't build on sand didn't understand that Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. 
There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces. The road you chose to travel need not be a lonely road.  

According to our forefathers, the pursuit of happiness is our inalienable right – so do your patriotic duty by putting more joy in your life with mood boosters.
- Practice Random Acts of Kindness
- keep Moving forward together!
- Count Your Blessings
- Spend Quality Time with each other
- Give Yourself a Thumbs Up and give your partner some praise.
- Cultivate a worthwhile Partnership
Try to meet each other half way. Even Palm trees try to meet each other in the middle.

What do you mean I have a "B.A.D" attitude!

Our Newest way of communicating these days is by telling everyone to "read my sign" directly or indirectly, and I don't mean my horoscope! We all seem to have a favorite BRAND label that describes our attitudes. The person with a bad attitude sees nothing wrong with his/her attitude. The sign basically tells you what their attitude is all about, even before you  say anything to them - or they to you.  Personally I like the signs because I get the message before I speak to them. I even liked it (back in the day) when people walked around with boomboxes playing their favorite song. We called that "having your own personal theme song" like Rocky Balboa. "That's right I'm B.A.D." was their attitude as they bopped to the music walking down the street in Brooklyn, N.Y. Remember when that was popular? Well I do...... I specifically liked it because of what it implied - "BAD" - meant really good (back then) ..... Now we have signs everywhere for everything and everyone. This could not be your Sunday school teacher's car, or could it. You never know these days.
Did she really put that sign on her car, so everyone could see that she is the queen "B", or did someone else place it on the window without her knowledge? The "B" word use to be what guys mumbled under their breaths when the female classmate or teacher embarrassed them. If the teacher heard him, his "goose was cooked." Today the guy would be called a "B****" Ask a woman about the label and she might respond by saying: "Yeah, I'm a 'B' so what ....wait until tomorrow, I will tattoo it on my shoulder, so no one would question me again." I'm amazed at the women who do that, because 10-20 years down the road she might not like that label, and may insist that her kids call her, Mom.... I could never understand inking your Lover's name, after knowing him for just a week, on your rear-end, either. Or having matching tattoos on  your backs, ankles, thighs, bikini lines or breast. I can understand a Sticker on the Car,  because you might sell the car someday, and the person who might buy it may also like the label. But I can't see inking your body with someone's name .... who you now broke up with, and hate his guts. But that's just me. Here is one that still cracks me up when I think about it. Real experience here.

I walked into a Bar/restaurant in Chicago Ill, and I hear this pretty voice cursing like a sailor on a weekend leave. I said, "Oooooh, she must be a  Real queen B****." When the crowd around her shifted I saw this "smoking hot babe" and I realize she was the one cursing,  The truth was she was telling a joke, we later became friends  after someone, we both knew, introduced us, I never told her what I thought about her cursing. From that first moment my attitude was, damn, She is too much for me, which never changed.  There was nothing I wanted to say to her in public or private that could cause her to go off. You sure can't have a disagreement with someone like that, because she will be a major embarrassment to you in public. She would call you every name in the book if she got angry. I would never put myself in that position and risk pissing her off. Back then I had a habit of referring to women as Ladies until I heard that profanity coming out of her mouth, today I'm more selective as who I refer to as a Lady. I always felt I could get over by saying "How are you ladies doing this evening."

Let's just say a good First impression was the way to deal with an intro in my book I always thought it would go a long way. I always felt I could walk up to a table or send a drink to a Lady and get a positive reaction. After buying a round of drinks I could open the door to a conversation and see where it leads. But after hearing expletive after expletive after expletive..... I become that "guy" retreating to a better position. You know the "type" the fella that hangs at the edge of the bar next to the entrance looking cool sipping an exotic drink checking everyone's movements. Reading the body language and drawing his own conclusion as to who is real and who is fake.  Damn, I guess you need Super focus glasses to see thru the B.S. It just is, what it is.  B.A.D Attitudes are contagious these days they make even nice people act like "A(s)" and "B(s)." Why?  
Simple, attitudes these days have become the symbol of cool, because everyone is doing it! If you don't have a  - don't mess with me Attitude - you can not be part of the In-crowd. I always saved the best F-bombs for when I got really angry. This is not the norm anymore. Even the VP of the USA has a F-Bombing problem. He drops it like in public with an open microphone.  President Obama taps him on the shoulder with an embarrassed look on his face, thinking, "Damn I'm glad he's a white guy and not my bro Eric Holder, they would think all brother talk like that all the time."

Wow. What has happened here? You can't be cool unless you  are shocking people with expletives? You will not get any respect unless you have that nasty attitude. I guess People will MESS with you big time, if you're not hitting them between the eyes with expletive, expletive, expletive first.  Richard Pryor would be proud. Eddy Murphy, who is now a DAD, stopped making movies that he would be the star using the most F-bombs. He is no longer that funny as a result of his transformation.  I guess if Bill Cosby was starting off his career now he would be kicked off the stage for being boring. Well we still have Chris Rock. he will keep on doing his thing uncensored.  
Expressive Language in this Social Media World is a minefield, you take a step and get blown to pieces, put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step. I guess thats human nature, it hurts so much to be the one that is different.  We'd all rather blow-up the World with profanity than be different. I think if everyone carried a sign showing their attitude, We would find instant best friends. Two people who understood each other without having to say a word.
Two people can be perfect for each other but if the timing's wrong it's never going to work out. Bad timing is the reason that most normal people end up alone. Weirdos and creeps are single cause they are weird and creepy but normal people are single because of bad timing or bad attitudes (following their peeps lead.) They follow the trend of the day, we all have friends that we try to impress with the same language they use...... After thinking about this....... you might want to chill and take a break from the expletives OR you can click on the Comedian's Names above and have a good laugh..... They will remind you that they get paid to use profanity on stage and in movies.


 

















http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-HATE-WHEN-PEOPLE-USE-BAD-LANGUAGE/215244149975

Yeah, I F***ed Up!

Yup! That's a pretty bold statement (even with the missing letters)!

It stands for I Fessed Up, actually. I had the great pleasure of listening to a good friend of mine in a phone conversation who never curse. He admitted making mistakes and got in the habit of fessing Up to them. I had never previously thought about the word "mistake" in the same sentence with "Fessing up" without someone yelling in my ear "You F***ed UP."  The talk was all about how errors, when embraced and treated as learning experiences, can lead to wisdom and innovation. My friends are deep like that!

As I sat there listening, my mind drifted, I recalled my own failures and successes as a mid-life entrepreneur, memories of co-workers, clients, in-laws, wife and strangers that I met during my journey they all had this same question "do you know what you are doing?" The answer was always "Yeah, I got this." I left the cozy bosom of corporate life (when corporate life was still rather cozy) and started a business of being an IT Systems Analyst/consultant in my early 40s.  How hard could running my own business possibly be?  After all, I had been relatively successful at major brand companies.  I was raising two sons, supervised the building of a new home, I lived through and profited from Y2K, and worked side by side with other professional consultants over the years who I learned a whole lot from. I could surely handle outsourcing my talents for greater paydays.  

Well, in short, I f***ed up a lot.  I made every mistake a Self-Employed consultant could possibly make in less than a decade.  And then, just when I thought I was getting the knack of the entrepreneurial thing, the recession hit.  And then I got to make some new mistakes.  But I must have done a few things right, because I'm still alive – not thriving, but surviving.  Perhaps I HAD learned a thing or two. 
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." ~ Thomas Edison

Rather than beating myself up over my (many) missteps, I created a mental list of things I will never do again. A little History:  I went on a Cruise vacation to celebrate my 40th Birthday which stopped in Cancun. This port of call is now a reminder as the place where I hit another mile stone. I created a mental to-do-list I needed to accomplish before I hit 60, the key was to translate that list into an action plan. I figured I can always turn to my small group of trusted advisers and colleagues to remind me if I'm on the verge of repeating an old error (or am on the brink of a new one). I replace "Boy, was I dumb//blind/self-delusional" with "Boy, I sure learned something great and useful from that mistake." It didn't save me from my mistakes but I sure made me feel better about them -- and more optimistic about the future.  

Although I didn't think I would be Very Rich in the ten to twenty years (my action plan, actually had the steps I would take to get there in 25 years and retire happy) I figured I would be a lot more comfortable now than I was not clocking 12-14 hour days, perhaps I'll name my Yacht the "Do-over." Or simply "I F----ed-Up." Now time is slipping, I might take the Yacht off the list.....Nah, I still have time.    It was on the top of my list when I flew to this Tropical Island Paradise after my midlife divorce and was forced to start all over again, clear and simple,  I felt my reward should be having a yacht anchored in a beautiful bay, on which I would cruise out once in a great while and entertain my friends on-board whenever I felt like it. I'm still diligently working my plan, I'm just slightly off target. Here is why, everyday that goes by I'm reminded that things move so much slower on an Island and I'm losing valuable energy years... My ambition is still to retire comfortable but I may have to delay my retirement a few more years. I believe I'm not alone in this....... many people I know have hit this brick wall in the last 10 years and are having a hard time climbing over. They sure can't tunnel under. Many have to re-invent themselves, start new careers during their midlife years.... Not the easiest thing to do. Worse yet having to compete with University grads half their age. This can lead to depression, or worse. I found out years ago, that the brain is like a computer.... If that's true, then there really aren't any stupid people. Just people running DOS.    Start by Updating your knowledge, buy a smart device, and figure out how to use the iPhone 4S.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on...... Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look BAD. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.......Want some reassurance?  Stick with the plan, if you have one. If you do not have one, create one. Don't let the bullhorn, Yelling in your ear, stop you. Failure breed success! Everyone fears failure, but breakthroughs depend on overcoming failures. The best businesses embrace their mistakes and learn from them, some even re-invent themselves (like Apple did.) This, also applies to individual People. I think I will take a few hours now and then and go to the beach and count the sea shells, I will pick up from where "I F***ed Up" last.... after breathing some fresh air and keep on keeping on. Who knows I might have a brain-storm and the pace will pickup and I can make all my new plans happen in less time than my last calculations. 
Just look at this guy Dewey Bozella's fight for justice he is Boxing at the age of 52. 
Winner of the 2011 Arthur Ashe Award. Dewey even got a phone call from President Obama before his Big Pro fight. Damn, talking about PRESSURE. Just for the record Dewey Bozella won in the 4th round in his "One professional fight" by a TKO. This goes to show a mature individual (50+) with a goal and plan can make it happen, if you don't give up, or "Mess up." 


JUST Remember this: "Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.”

"If you do not have a target to aim for, you are going to miss it anyway." - Clifford Aga


In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: "it goes on."

  

‎"Players" you are hereby ALERTED!

Hi Big Brother, are you watching me? 

I'm glad I have nothing to hide (I think)

The world’s largest social network has done it again: a radical revamp of its site that’s left users wowed—and worried.

The new Facebook Timeline, as it’s called, has turned your profile into a digital scrapbook that showcases every public thing you’ve ever done on the site. Wall posts from years ago are resurfacing, made easily discoverable by the new design. And the company encourages even more public sharing, from what you’ve watched on Netflix, to what you’ve listened to on Spotify, to what you’ve read in The Washington Post. You no longer have to “Like” something to share it—in many cases, that will happen automatically. In this case "hindsight might be, Ooops." If you got on Facebook 3-4 years ago then none of these features were threatening. I always warned Friends and family to not VENT on the site. Employers, wife, husbands, crazy ex-girl friends, lunatic boyfriends etc.... could always retrieve the stuff and lose their minds. People have used Facebook in Divorce cases, People have lost job opportunities because of things they said on Facebook. Controlling what's on Facebook requires SELF CONTROL.. If a person is high-strung they will speak first and think later (correction write first.) I sent out warnings to Facebook friends in the past especially those who I saw going off at times. My 2 Facebook accounts are linked so anyone can see who my friends are what I've say from day to day etc... Sometimes I'm even surprised when I get a "Like" on comments I posted, from people that I don't even know. I always use the K.I.S.S approach in these cases as a result I sleep well at night.

All of this sharing, past and present, has privacy implications. What is unique about Facebook, and is about to be made more apparent by the new Timeline, is the full extent to which our information—even innocuous or ‘normal’ information—is collected, aggregated, organized and presented by the company and, more importantly, the types of information that can be predicted or gleaned from the sum total of that information.


But don’t we as Facebook users offer that information voluntarily? The average 20-something guy with a good job, friends, and a social life doesn’t have to worry about sharing, as long as it’s nothing awkward or lascivious … right? If you are one of these people  “I’ve got nothing to hide” that never say or do anything that will bring attention to yourself on Facebook you might still have to look back on your timeline to make sure that you did not post something less flattering about yourself. 
Privacy isn’t necessarily about secrecy, It’s about control of your personal information.  If you want to put your entire life on Facebook, that’s fine, but it should be your choice.

Case in point: As an active, single guy or lady, you may have dated a number of people in the past. You may have become Facebook friends, and they may have posted on your wall—flirty, not dirty things. But while those flirtatious posts used to be buried deep in your profile, now they’re easily discovered by anyone, including potential future lovers.  

With that in mind, here is what you need to know: 

1. Let the Past Be the Past
Your Timeline started with your birth, literally. Not everything between now and then needs to be made public. You can nostalgically comb through your past and decide what to share (each item has the option to be edited or removed from your Timeline) or you can go to Privacy Settings page and select “Limit the Audience for Past Posts.” Starting fresh isn’t a BAD thing!

2. When in Doubt, Opt Out 
Many apps will now have permission to post to your profile automatically—but only if you tell them to. Read the sharing terms carefully before installing new apps. And if an app has revealed that you’re listening to “It’s Raining Men,” (and you are a guy) use the Apps and Websites page to revoke its permission. Of course, you can always delete individual posts … because we know you were just listening ironically. Hmmm!

3. Keep Your Friends Close . . . 

But limit access for everyone else, and even some FRIENDS. Sure, your boss and your parents have probably befriended you, BAD idea if you are someone that can lose your mind sometimes,  they don’t need to see everything you do. Take advantage of Facebook’s newly tweaked privacy settings to limit their view. You can also do this on a application-specific basis under “Apps and Websites,” as well..


I hope some of these tips help those who are in a panic that what they said 2 or 3 years ago about someone will surface one day and they will be called, Hey Lucy "you have some explaining to do"  
And always make sure your PC camera is turned off, when you are doing something sneaky.


Here is one that you might like: 
A Lady had her Iphone stolen. The Thief took a picture of himself using her Iphone, well guess what the picture showed UP ON HER FACEBOOK page. She remembered where she saw him hanging around the Mall. She gave the Policy his picture and he was arrested. Auto picture uploads from your smartphone to Facebook page can be pretty cool. 

Who owns America? Hint: It's not China!

Truth is elusive.  But it's a good thing we have math.
America owes foreigners about $4.5 Trillion in debt. But America owes America $9.8 Trillion. 
Why are Americans so afraid about who owns it's Debt?
Americans are scared because China owns $1.16 Trillion (8 percent) of the US debt.
The USA should be scared of what 1.3 Billion Chinese ( 3.5 times the US population) working together can do in the Global markets.
Actually when I read the above article I was also thinking this is not a good thing that a country like China owns any part of the US debt.    Here is why I think it is really scary!
A group of us visited China a few years ago, we were all surprised by the impressive Modern Cities, Beijing, Shanghai are just as modern as New York City. The Chinese factories can duplicate anything - Rolex watches, any name brand clothing, luggage, purses, cars, computers you name it. - I was most impressed by the people, their disciplined methods of doing everything. Steady concentration on whatever they are doing. Never losing focus. I started thinking what if their computer programmers (like myself) were as innovative as Americans but applied their Chinese disciplines in Math and science.

Could you just imagine 50,000,000 Bill Gates types just making all kind of hardware and software products. We would have a serious problem competing with that, (they have numbers that can work around the clock) maybe we already have that problem and are unaware because they have over a Billion people to sell their stuff to, even if only 1/3 of their population can buy their own products it is still 400 Million consumers.

What if they could duplicate Lebron James' moves to the basket,  M. J. or Kobe Bryant. Just think there are 360 Million Americans, there are 360 Million Chinese that play Basketball. This is what scaring me most the overwhelming numbers. Just think, they are cloning Mercedes Benz vehicles right now, so if they could create a car like the Benz maybe they can duplicate any car. The Chinese can sell cars in their local markets and perfect their performance before releasing to the rest of the World. They can have it running on alternative fuel-cells that automatically recharge. They could create thousands if not millions and flood the markets. Every Middle-class man and woman could own one,  but of course  Benz would still sell because its a prestigious Foreign car and the Rich folks will not want to buy Chinese cars, Yet.  But the rest of us? Remember when a Toyota (Japanese) was a cheap piece of crap that rusted out in 3 years. Or the Hyundai (Korean) was the car Comedians made jokes about. Not anymore. They are the top selling vehicles in today's markets.
Okay, you're thinking I have an over active imagination....
Allow me to introduce the Mercedes C-class 203 clone. Only the emblem is different if you place them half / half, you can hardly tell the difference.

So if they can clone a Benz.

Q: What next?

Is this a good thing?

Will this be another market takeover?
Will they dominate the car industry next ?

Current buyers of Mercedes Benz vehicles can still call theirs an original, but when you zoom by at 75 miles an hour in a clone who would notice the Chinese emblem. We can always think that they will not be able to catch up with the USA because Americans are more innovative. We can even fool ourselves into believing that we can always Stop their products at the ports and the borders, but here is the reality they can sell their products in every other market in the region and around the World. i.e. Central America, South America, the Caribbean, even Canada. Don't think that they can't take over African markets. Chinese to build Car Assembly plant in ETHIOPIA.
You tell me, will the USA or Europe be able to export any products in the future markets to compete with the numbers the Chinese and other Far-Eastern Countries can produce?
So when folks start talking about  "Taking America back,"    Ask them, Back to What? If they mean: Back to the time when the USA was able to compete in all the Markets without much competition, or, Back to when "made in the USA" was tops in quality. Or EVEN BETTER, Back to when  China was called the "Sleeping Giant" and we thought it would never wake up. News flash: 1.3 Billion Chinese are awake and thriving.  The USA should start thinking about taking the Americas forward..... Here is something all of the Americas can start paying more attention to. If you have a good product to market to China, now is the right time, this is our opportunity to target this huge market  -  if you have the marketing skills to get their attention.

Let us see if the Chinese can duplicate our SXM beaches!

Affluent Chinese have buying power. 

U.S. destinations target affluent Chinese tourists

Hawaii, California and Las Vegas are among American tourist destinations vying fiercely for a vast and largely untapped new market segment. About a half-million Chinese traveled to U.S. destinations in 2008. Chinese travelers spend more than counterparts from any other country — about $7,200 per person per trip, according to the U.S. Commerce Department. Everybody should be looking at China and seeing a country with 1.3 billion people and a growing economy; Like I said before It's a good thing we have math.  
Simple math: $7,200 * 500,000 visiting Chinese = $3.6 Billion.     

If you think like I do, or not.... you will have to admit that these numbers are just too great to ignore!  

Just for fun checkout Hipmunk flights from BJS to your destination.